BONUS Clip: How To Beat Imposter Syndrome

Published Oct 19, 2022, 7:00 AM

Dr. Jenny gives advice on how to get over your perfectionism and/or imposter syndrome, as well as sheds some insight on why these feelings may arise.

Learn more about Dr. Jenny: jennywangphd.com 

Hosts Information:

Cara Pressley

@thecareercheerleader Cara’s Instagram

@TheCareerCheerleader Cara’s Facebook

@the1cheering4U Cara’s Twitter

@FeelinSuccessful Cara’s TikTok

Cara’s Website

Tracy T. Rowe

@tracytrowe Tracy’s Instagram

@troweandco Tracy’s Facebook

@tracytrowe Tracy’s Twitter

@tracytrowe Tracy’s TikTok

Tracy’s Website

----

#LRTT

Listening and loving the show? Please be sure to rate and review.

Have a question you want us to discuss on Let’s Red Table That? Email us at:

letsredtablethat@redtabletalk.com

-----

LET’S RED TABLE THAT is produced by Red Table Talk Podcasts. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS Jada Pinkett Smith, Fallon Jethroe and Ellen Rakieten. PRODUCER Kyla Carneiro. ASSOCIATE PRODUCER Yolanda Chow. EDITORS AND AUDIO MIXERS Stepfanie Aguilar. MUSIC from Epidemic Sound. LET’S RED TABLE THAT is in partnership with iHeartRadio.

We are sharing another bonus clip from our conversation about Constants rules red table Talk appearance. Enjoyed the rest of our conversation. Now, Dr Jenny Constant struggled with moving past her mistake. She was so hard on herself for letting others down. Is this need for perfectionalism or fear of failure a common struggle you see among clients? And then how do you help them work through these? Yeah? So it is a common theme perfectionism quote unquote imposter syndrome, right, fear of failure? And I mean, I could talk all day about my issues with the idea of impostor syndrome, because it almost puts the onus on me, Like I have a syndrome that I feel like I don't belong or measure up. But yet I'm living in a society that is constantly telling me that over and over again. So why is that my syndrome? But if we think about the roots of perfectionism though, right, it is a way that we try to control our environment. It is a way in which we try to try to kind of assuage our anxiety. Right, So if I show up perfectly and I try to control every measure of this situation. Then that will calm me down and make me feel somewhat safe in my world. The problem is that when you uphold that image of perfectionism, sometimes we get cracks because you cannot actually function perfectly every moment of your life. And so when we notice cracks, that starts to now teach our identity. Oh Am, I broken because I can't function like sometimes we have to challenge. But wait a second, what is the system in itself that is requiring me to function under this guise of perfectionism in the first place? Right? Is it capitalism? Is it racism? Or systemic injustice? What is it that is forcing me to feel as though I need to show up in this way in order to have value or worth? Because I think we need to dismantle that system then, right, And so when I'm kind of like trying to help clients move through it, I'm a big proponent of action being a great teacher. So if you struggle with perfectionism, then I'm going to try to devise safe but somewhat challenging exercises for you to operate imperfectly. That Dr Jenny, I love that this is my trap because part of it is we can grow and expand the muscle to tolerate imperfection in our lives. Right, So the first few times is going to make you real riled up when you do something imperfectly, But as you do it again and again, you realize that you showing up imperfectly doesn't result in the world falling apart. People still love you, you still have value, and you realize that you don't have to hold that facade so richidly. Right. Do you see that your clients evolve and go from being able to tolerate imperfection to embrace imperfection. Yes, And that is the coolest part of the journey, right, is they actually start to develop traction and they start to invite opportunities that are more risky than they ever would have tolerated before, and that opens up all of the possibilities in work, in relationships, in all of these other spaces of their lives. And I think, coming from kind of a child of immigrant experience as well, scarcity model is a very big part of kind of how we see the world. So if we're taught to be safe, if we're taught to be stable, don't take too many risks because you don't want to gamble it all away. Your ancestors worked really hard for you to get here, right, so don't lose it and squander it. Then it makes us much more limited in our risk taking abilities. We hear that, I hear yeah. So if we can actually say, you know what, calculated intentional risk is the birthplace of growth, That is where you actually grow, because if you've mastered it, if you're not having to struggle through it, there's no growth there. You're just running the status quo. The muscles are already trained. But if it's straining you, if it's pushing you, that's where growth happens. So that's the reframe that I think we have to The arc has to head in that direction where failure is actually part of the process towards success and we have to actually welcome it. And my failure doesn't say anything about my identity, it's actually saying something about the process. Fail forwards, fail forward. I love it, and you will always practice more than you play. I mean, we just kind of keep on going out there and doing our thing. I love it. Oh my goodness, wasn't it good? We couldn't keep this to ourselves. We had to release it. Yes, Yes, listen. The full episode recapping Constance Rules episode of Red Table Talk is out now. Otherwise, tune in on Monday's for another Let's Red Table debt. A big thank you to our executive producers Jada Pinkett Smith, Ellen Racketson and Balin Jethrow. And thank you to our producer Kyla Kneu and our associate producer Yolanda Chow. And finally, thank you to our sound engineer, Stephanie Aguilar

Let's Red Table That with Cara and Tracy

The show you love now has its own official after-show. Relive all the drama, the breakthroughs, and  
Social links
Follow podcast
Recent clips
Browse 33 clip(s)