Let's Be Clear with Shannen DohertyWhen Shannen began to experience hair loss due to cancer treatments, she decided to do it on her own terms.
That’s when she called her fabulous friend and model Anne Marie Kortright, and entrusted her with some scissors and an electric razor. Together they bonded over Shannen’s freshly bald head, and posted the experience on Instagram in hopes that others would feel less alone in their cancer journey. There’s nothing like a beautiful friend who’s always ready to remind you how beautiful you are, no matter what.
This is Let's Be Clear with Shannon Dorney. Hello to all my listeners. I am back with another episode of Let's Be Clear. Today. I want to focus on the concept of beauty and what that means to me. And there's no better person to join this discussion than my dear friend, who is stunningly beautiful, a model many things, Anne Marie Courtwright.
Thank you for having me.
I kind of wanted to first start with how we met. Although I wasn't married to the person that I was dating at the time, I sort of say that I got you in the divorce. Yes you did. It was it was like a although he'll argue he got me too.
I had to split my side. But I did get you. Yes, I didn't give the other excess. I got you, right, that's the thinking. Okay, So we met. I started dating a guy. His name is Jason, and he lived in New York. And we were dating I don't even know, like a month or two months maybe at the most, and he said, I want you to meet like my best friend and his fiance, who I love. She's like a sister to me. Can we, you know, meet them tomorrow.
For brunch for brunch and the East Villish and I was like, oh god, no, I have to meet the friends.
You know, I was not into it. And then when he was like, oh and she's a model, I was like still, I was like, I know, thank you. I don't need to be like the five to four girl standing next to like a giants. Just not I'm not interested. But it was important to him, and I was like, okay.
Fine, that's the best decision you ever made.
It really was like I got up there, but it was awesome. I think. I don't know. I mean, I know how I felt sort of meeting you and hanging out in that brunch and your your what's now your husband was your fiance at that time, Scott, which I can go into, but let's hear it from you first. I love it for come on, just put it out there. I mean, did you have any impressions? Like, I don't know if you knew who I was as far as an actress, she was Brenda.
She walked in until there were some I'm like, oh my god, is Brenda?
And then that was it.
Then I called myself. You know, there's very very few people that give me starstuck, and that was you. And you know, usually you meet those people that you're kind of into and you love watching them on TV and you're like, oh I wish I didn't. It was the different case with you, So thank you.
Here we are.
Eighteen plus years later. I mean I wasn't even married. I have a fifteen and a half year old, so right, yeah, we're going way back. Yeah yeah, but we still look just as good. Well you definitely did, that's for sure. We get better with age. I swear you have not aged. I mean, and that's actually a really true statement. I think that you specifically have gotten better with age. And we're going to get into this because you know, I'm constantly asking you, like what.
Do I do? And it's because I look at you and I'm like, how how does somebody's skin get prettier and better? But before I jump in there, obviously I went into that brunch a little trepidacious, and then I met you, and there was like this sort of familiarity, like immediately where I felt, oh, okay, I know this person, and like an instant comfort a girlship and I don't know, I don't think that's a word, but I'm now creating a word, the girlship, because you know, especially back then, at that point in time, girls were not always supportive of other girls, and I was definitely used to that being the case. And then all of a sudden, I met you, and I felt like, oh, this girl's got my back.
I think for the most case, I think in your business, in my business. Then, you know, it was hard to really make a bond with a new girl because you know, you had to really watch your back. So when you found that person in that connection that you knew like, wait, she's a girls girls, and she's got your back and it's real, you grab onto it. And that's how we are still here.
Yeah, I mean, it's it's insane how much I think women have sort of grown and evolved where we understand that there's room for all of us and we don't necessarily have to be as competitive, and instead we can just support one another. And like with every job you got, with every positive thing that happened in your life, I was so excited, accelerated. Yeah, yeah, and vice versa.
Yeah.
I never understood not celebrating other women's anyone's achievements that you care for. In general, I'm happy for everyone. There's room for everyone, and I truly feel that way, like I am genuinely happy for my friends. Even if it was a model that was going up for the same job as me, it didn't matter, you know. I'm like, it wasn't meant to be, like and I still feel that way. There is everything's meant to be. It happens for a reason. And I think you really got to see the real me back then, which a lot of people I feel like don't know the real me. They kind of judge me walking in the door, and I have many of those stories. You know, a lot of people like to judge you by just looking. And you know, I used to be very reserved. I was bullied my whole high school life, and I was always very guarded and who I led into my life. But at the same time, I always kind of knew when there was that good person that I kind of wanted to add to my core group of girls. And here we are.
I've watched people gloss over asking you a question because they assume that you look the way that you look, that you're not going to know the answer. It's my favorite thing. It's actually one of my favorite things too, to watch to be a witness to you because you are so incredibly intelligent and use intelligent and stupid. I pay attention, You pay attention, and you're studied. If there's something that you don't know about, you will do one of two things. Either you're the first to be like, I don't know enough to talk about it, or you will educate yourself on.
It, and then I'll come back and I'll be fully informed exactly. And I learned that from my husband. I have to tell you. I got to give him a little credit. He always says, don't speak.
If you don't know what you're talking about.
Just listen.
You obviously know that your husband is one of my favorite people I know. Like Scott and I bonded and we still bond. He's a good therapist too, he is. He's a really good therapist. Like Scott's helped me in numerous occasions. And you know, with the boyfriend that I had in common with you guys, and through other relationships that I've been in while I've known you, and certainly through my marriage, Scott was always sort of you know, somebody that I that I went to along with you. It was like, you know, I was getting the female side and the male side. Yeah, And Scott and I feel like we're very similar in personalities. Yea, so very insightful. Yeah, I mean again, so are you. But I do like, I do love watching you shut people down with your.
A lot more confident now you are you taught listen you Scott and a few other people in my life gave me that strength to just be like, don't let the first impression of like, look at me walking in a room and that be the end of it. Like now I made sure I'm like loud enough for you to know that it's not just the tall skinny girl.
Yeah, the tall skinny girl with like the perfect bone structure. That bone structure is crazy. My favorite photos is when I post the two of us with our like our cheekbones are popping out and I just need it cheeks. So okay, so we met. We obviously, you know, we stayed friends. We've been through a lot together. You gave birth to a beautiful, you know, quirky, her own person, smart, very independent, like young woman live who's wonderful. I love that, like my friends that have kids, because I feel like they're my children to a certain extent, but I get to not have to deal with them. Twenty four to the good parts. Yeah, yes, you borrow them. Yeah. I like being aunt Shannon. That works for me one hundred percent. You were also the person that I called when I, you know, I started losing my hair from chemo, and I remember I posted a photo on my Instagram a while back, but of me coming out of the shower holding like clumps and clumps and clumps of hair, and I knew at that point in time that I had to do something about it because I hadn't told anyone or the world or the media like what I was going through yet, because you know, I was still coming to terms with it. But I knew that somebody was going to get a photo of me that was unflattering with you know, hair falling out, and that I had to sort of take control over. Like my own narrators.
I've always been very much pro us handling things how we share it, Like I always tell you we should put that out first, like I shoulder your terms and not the paparasitic term coming out of the grocery store.
And you really did that for me, like yeah, you know it was my mom was at the house and we called you, and I was like, this is what's happened. I need you to shave my head, and you were like, Okay, I have to stop. I have to leave my house. I have to stop and get the shaver from you know.
I went to the Malibu Country where the is it a CBS, right, yeah, the CBS. And you're like, so I'll be there. I'll try to be there in like forty minutes. You should have seen me through the aisles. I think it was thirty eight minutes later. You like came knocking on the door.
Three different choices. I'm like, wishing you think would work. Yeah, I was like, I don't know whatever I mean. It was a moment that was filled with a lot of emotions for me personally, Like it was I was losing a lot of my identity because my hair was like a big thing throughout my life.
You know. I remember being a lot of full hair, full hair. I remember being offered like a in the nineties, I got offered some like shampoo endorsement for a big company. I won't say who it was, but I turned it down because at the time, nobody was doing endorsements like actors. Who would have ever known, right, And so I was like no, no, no, no. I took myself far too seriously. I should have been like I'll take that cash, thank you, but I did not. And so everything was, you know, all about like the Brenda haircut and this and that and and.
Yeah, people were modeling their styles after your Branda haircut. Yeah, obviously I've been through this with you and a few other friends and now including my mom. So it's it's a big thing. I interestingly not off. You know, through all of my like high school and like all the different things people were picking on me, my hair was the one thing they couldn't pick on. There is something to be said for being able to understand to a certain degree what you were going through, because I'm grateful for it. I appreciate it, and I think that somehow, Dealer, that's probably why you pick me for the difficult things, because you really always I'm always there and like the big difficult decision times. But I also feel is because I become your cheerleader and I become your entertainment. And in a funny way, like I like to make things as light as possible because they are serious things. There are light alternating movements for you and everyone that knows me, and you know that, like I just come in here and make you laugh, Like we already know you have all the negatives stuff, negative stuff happening. We know you're sick after chemo. We know all these things, so like, there's no reason for me to come here and be like, so, how is chemo? We're not going to talk about that, because you know, I care. If you want to talk about it, you bring it up. But older than that, I'm just here and I'm just gonna be silly and make you crack up, Like that's my job to make you laugh till the end of days, and I.
Take that job very seriously. You're also supportive in a way where I don't feel judged for being vain, you know what I'm saying, Like most people would say, and I've heard it of like you know, well, you should be so grateful that it was just your hair and then you're still alive. And I'm like, Okay, first off, I am grateful that I'm alive, Like I never said I wasn't grateful, but I'm still going to complain about why I would be way more grateful if I still had had a hair, you know, like, yeah, why why you know? Cancer takes away so much from you, like, why did it also have to take away something that you've.
Been in front of the camera your entire life. Yes, you have been judged on how you look right every single moment. So how can you not later, twenty five years later, be worried about how you look. It's impossible. It's it's ingrained in you.
I mean I think it's ingrained in everybody, regardless of what business you're in. You know, I think that their whole world. And I personally don't think it's bad to have a certain amount of vanity. I think that that's what makes you, you know, take a shower in the morning. I think it's what makes you brush your teeth. I think it's what makes you wash your hair, Like, yeah.
It's it gets you out of bed.
I care about my parents. I care what I'm putting in front of people, and I want them to, you know, see that I've put in somewhat of an effort. And it's why sometimes I get so mad at paparazzi pictures of like me going into a grocery store at seven am, you know, like missing milk. I just need milk, and you know, it's all of a sudden, I look horrible and it looks like I don't put in an effort, or they get me right after chemo or you know. So the shaving of the head was extremely pivotal moment. That was pivotal and traumatic, and.
I think it took you a few days to even realize what had happened. Yeah, I think you know. We mean, we have the videos. I had no idea what I was doing. I was like, as I was doing, and I'm like, why am I doing this?
Why does she cook me?
And in my head, I'm like, trying to be the perfectionist, I'm like, I should have watched the video first of all, why don't I cut some of the hair first? Like this machine is not going through?
And I'm like, yeah, this is going great, bro, is that right? She's doing amazing? Look how beautiful her head looks on my phone. I think you guys did end up pulling out like kitchen scissors.
Because nobody tells you that, Like, you can't just put the buzzer through right hair this long. It just doesn't work. So like I kept like emptying the thing. I was sweating, like it was it was probably more yourself for me. God, I hope you a pretty hair underneath there.
Please heat was very important.
It was like I was like, just because it should just be gorgeous, because she's already gorgeous. But if she has a nice ballpad, that's amazing.
And you did and I didn't even think of like the shape, all those things. You didn't make it funny talking about like the humor, because you once you cut it with the kitchen scissors, you then gave me like a little I gave you like a pixie. It was like a Dorothy Hammel bob. And you took photos of me with this Dorothy Hammel bob. This stuff she lets me do is actually you gave me a mohawk.
You have really let me get away with some crazy stuff that I don't think a lot of people get away with. And we're still here and we've never had a fight. We've never had a moment. No, like all these years, I just agree with her.
That's that's not true. You definitely do not just agree with me. I always say yes. But you also were the one who figured out how I should post. I wanted it to be real, not like some and you did it like where it was, you know, a progression, and it finally ended with like the result of you know, a buzzed head.
I think it was important because I think a lot of women admire you, A lot of women look up to you that are going through something like this, and we wanted to make it light. Yet we wanted to make sure that like it had some meaning and that people can you know, identify, and we did that. You can see, in a matter of minutes, they outpouring of comments of saying, You've made my day, You've made me so much stronger. You have really given me the strength to do this, like I mean for weeks. I don't know if you remember. It was just like unbelievable the amount of people that you touched by sharing that moment. And that's invaluable, you know, like people and a lot of people don't realize the impact that you can have on someone that's been sitting at home by themselves going through something like this, and they watch this post and they're like, if she can do it, I can do it, And that's very powerful.
Yeah, I mean, it wasn't something obviously I was prepared for. As you know, when you clicked the you know, go button on my Instagram, I remember I did. You were like you do it? Yeah, I mean I couldn't. I wasn't to be honest. I wasn't brave enough, right, I was so scared and and you were like, no, we're doing this, like we're doing this and you did, and I just looked at you. I was like no, what now? What? Like social media was still new at that point, and it was also like what is going to happen? Like are people where is this going? Yeah? Are people going to be upset with me that I was you know this wide or the word that I that I hadn't been honest from the very beginning, right that, like the moment I got diagnosed, I wasn't instantly on saying hey guys, I just got diagnosed with breast cancer. Like how would they feel? How would they react? And how how would it impact like future work for me?
Of course, which that was a big thing, like now I'm going to be the sick person who's going to want to work with me?
Yeah, And which is still an issue like to this day, like there are people who you know, like to be like ah, you know, like she might be too hard to ensure or you know, well, how is she like it's her memory? Okay? And I'm like, did I have a photograph you've ever been? Yeah? I think we should worry about all the people's issues more than this. Yeah. I think that you're can run circles around most humans. So put one thing in front of me and I'll have like two seconds to look at it, and it's memorized and it's in involved. It was very, very, very scary, and you made it. You made it less scary. You helped with your humor and and just your like general love, like you're a very loving human being.
Well, I always say I would like to leave the room and be like, wow, she was so nice, not wow she was so pretty. That's so much better. I'd rather be nicer than pretty.
I'll take both.
Yeah, I'm gonna say I care, but isn't it much nice to be like wow, she was so nice and she was beautiful? Yeah, but the inside pard you know.
I nowadays I think I think now I go for like, wow, she was so smart and funny, Like that's my favorite thing to hear. I do like it when people say beautiful, of course, because really I don't, and because I don't feel it anymore, which is so crazy. I've gotten better. Yeah, specifically, like in the last few months. This isn't like a long time. It's literally probably like the last month really two months that I started feeling attractive again. But before that I was feeling as you know, because you're incredibly knowledgeable, particularly about the beauty field, and about products that work, products that don't work, techniques that work, you know, lasers that are good for you, lasers, information. You're like a wealth of knowledge. And I always call you and talk to you about it first because I know that you're going to be like, do not get that you have the wrong skin type for that particular laser that's going to mess you up? Or Yeah, they're charging you know, X amount for that serum. It's way repriced. You should get this one that's only thirty dollars. You have a podcast that you do that's all about wellness, that's like about your gut, and you do it with Jamie. Can you tell?
I said, so, it's called beautiful things set out because the beauty comes from within what we put in our bodies. I have this argument with Shannon all Lots. I don't know if you guys follow her on Instagram. I make courage drink the green juices you know before and after chemo try to like clean her system out. At first she was like, this is disgusting, and now she begs me to bring her grain juices.
I was actually really disappointed that you did not bring me grain juice today, So do you want to know the truth? You made and then you drank it. I went to make it, I got all of.
The ingredients, and then I forgot one of the main ingredients, so it's like, hmmm, what am I going to do? So anyway, so I made it with blueberries and I took everything that I had in the freezer frozen and threw it in there.
And it was good.
But I just it was like these weird purple eh burgundy collar. I was like, there's no wish she's gonna want to drink this.
I mean, I got made to drink green juice, so you know, but instead you brought Peter Booth today. So that was perfect. That was so good. It was really good. I feel like because I was always so small, people assumed that I didn't need as much food as they did, and you would go for more, so like the food would all be gone and I would and I was a more slow eater and which is supposed to be really just to make it for you and the would be gone. And I was like, like, do you like, excuse me? Did I not want some of that appetizer?
Like?
And I remember with some in laws that I had at one point in time in my life, it was like the first time I had met them, and lovely people, and they like they made food, but it was here's what I was eating, and then here's what because it was cooked a different matures, and then here's what everybody else is eating. And mine was like a super small portion, and I guess it was well done. I remember looking at that being like what And I'm like the I was offended. I'm like like, excuse me. I'm like listening. My metabolism is just fast, That's why I But I love food and I wanted.
Some mistake that people make of the two of us.
And yeah, and you're the exact same way, and like.
Room, there could be twelve people here eating and she and I will clean out the kitchen, clean out the kitchen, and then we don't stop moving the next day cleaning the kitchen cleaning. Okay, so back to back to your podcast, Beauty from the Inside of Beauty from the inside out because you really do like believe in that and.
You like things, you know.
I think that I kind of got into the wellness. Let's just backtrack for a second. I didn't grow up like that. I grew up eating and loving food in Puerto Rico, right, but not necessarily the healthiest food. A lot of the food is fried. There's just a lot of like not healthy ingredients delicious and it makes you really happy and everyone's really happy at the end of the meal. But I think when I decided that I wanted to get pregnant, I went on this rabbit hole of like how do I prepare my body to be the cleanest, And then I went into this journey where I was like really trying to understand how food affected our body. And from there on, you know, I have done every cleanse, every diet from the original juice cleans, which by the way, are so bad for you now, Like I've tried everything that has come and gone until I finally found a really good balance of eating the things I like, having lots of desserts. As you know, I'm obsessed. Channa makes the most insane blueberry bread putting, bread putting, and then she puts the glaze over it. So anyways, listen, I constantly Actually, I don't want to make it seem like it's so easy, because it's not. It's a constant battle for me to balance what's good for my body and what my brain wants. And that's kind of how I ended up in the journey with doctor Jamie, who I get introduced by Channa's and I trainer who use all the time Kira, and she's one of the best introductions I've ever had because she is so good at just explaining things in a simple manner and there is zero judgment coming from her, So doesn't matter how you like to do it, how difficult or easy it is for you, She's just going to be in that journey with you. And I remember, I think maybe three four meetings with her. I said to her one day, I was like, I've people have asked me before to like do podcasts about this. The other I said, I've never had an interest because I do not want to hear myself speak. I don't think anyone cares to hear Anne Marie by herself talking about this stuff. I said, but I would love to do this with you because I would love to do like wellness for dummies, And what I meant by that was that I can have all my questions prepared and have her answer them as if I was the patient, And it was so fabulous. From the moment we started, it was just left.
Since knowing you and since you went on your sort of beauty journey and discovering what was like really good for your body and what to put in it, I've gotten much better. Yeah, and yes, you sometimes have to bring me juices or you have to come here and use my juicer. But I've definitely become a lot more aware because you can see it. Yes, your eyes, the whiten your eyes gets clear. You feel better by yourself. I'm sure that you have days where you've done kimo and you wanted a burgroom fries, which, by the way, I approve every day in and out whichever, and the days you do the juices, it just you do feel better. Once mentally better, the other one's physically better. And they're both good because one day you need one, the next day you need the other. It's not just one thing. You can be happy with the way you eat, the way you exercise. It doesn't have to be all in or all out.
Well.
I mean, we're living in a very like extremist world. You know, we keep extreme. It's very it's either weird, like this direction or that direction. It's like we're too skinny, we're not healthy enough, right, think about that. Like I was told once I wasn't I was unendurable, and I was like, what are you talking about. I was on their weight for my heights, and I go, would you like to follow me for the next week because there's nothing else I can't do. That's really interesting because you know, like the United States, they have the thing where it gives you, like what your ideal weight should be, But what they don't take into account is that sometimes what they claim is the ideal weight is too thin for some people and too heavy for other people, because your bones really make a difference. Like I'm very fine boned and so are you. So the extra weight and believe you know, it wasn't that long ago that I had a lot of extra weight on me, Like the meds that I was on and everything else. It's not even weight, it's just water retenne was yeah, water retention. It was a lot of weight. I was extremely depressed. I was on meds, that were, you know, messing with me, not like cancer meds, you guys. You know, I'm sure other people think I should be on other meds, but I'm talking about the cancers. So I put on like a lot of weight. I've never weighed that amount, and I I couldn't stand myself like I was really well just.
For the physical part, because it just doesn't feel good to you.
Oh, I felt like none of my clothes fit me. I felt gross. I just didn't go to other people that were like, oh, she looks so healthy, right, and You're like what, And I'm like, I'm not healthy, Like this is not healthy for me. This is too much weight on my body. It's too much weight on my bones.
Where we all don't fit in that one box, so it's impossible, and we all have a different like body mass, bones, like everybody has a different thing, and so you really have to figure out what is what is your version of healthy. Yeah, it's the same with skin, It's the same with all of it. It's like you have to find what we're for you.
You know, you look at j Loo for instance, and I'm bringing her up because I was in Italy in August and she was there and she was, you know, as close to me as you are. And I was like, how does she have this skin? Like She's like she takes care of herself, Like she does a lot of the things I do, and she's been doing it forever, which is like prevents it but still that you know, but yeah, I have to I have to be Yeah, we have completely set who I am, my genetics, and then go all right, how do I get to the best version of my skin that I can possibly get? So going into that as you know.
Especially with all the cancer mats, right, That's what I'm thinking about that, right, Like it's the same with like your hair. Everything's gonna you know, people never know how the hair is going to grow back, right, the same with your skin. Your skin might get thinner, it might get thicker, it might get more wrinkled, it might get more light and get more great through all the years, your skin's changed the law, you know, depending on the mets that you were on, your skin was changing. So we have to like change what you were doing because you're like, Okay, now I'm too early, now I'm too dry, or my hair is doing this or too you know, like, yeah, there's always going to be a different reaction when you're going through these treatments, which is the thing that I think a lot of people don't talk about, you know, especially when they have cancer. Like I have these conversations with my mom all the time, and I would say, text Channel Jilla or text my other friend, and I'm like, see what they're thinking, what they're doing. I mean, I'm not sure how deep we want to get into this, but there's a lot of other things that happen when you're getting chema.
Okay, Well, I think that we don't feel as comfortable talking about it because again it goes back to the thing of others that don't have cancer and that are not going through this journey. They they're like why, Like you're just lucky to be alive, Like that's you should just be focused on staying alone and who cares about your skin? And I'm like, no, no, no, no, I do, because you know I'm anybody that's telling you that I should not be part of your life, right, I'm a woman. I care about how I look. I do eventually want to meet somebody else. I do want to fall in love again, but more importantly, I want to fall in love with myself again, right, And I haven't felt great about myself for a really long time. Like those cancer meds, chemo radiation, everything, it sucked every bit of collagen out. All of a sudden, I got a gazillion wrinkles. I was like, what the hell is this about? And then stress and stress lost My hair grew back. Then you know, I had to do brain radiation, the hair like patchy, then the treatment, the infusions. That's that you're still cracking up and smiling. People really knew. Think about it. If people really.
Knew, would you truly go every day ups and downs? And you know, it's so hard, like to really grasp I know that we should be grateful for everything we have and be thankful and be so happy to have a roof and to have food and to have water all of these things, but like when did we stop being human? Why can I have a bad day? You know? And it's like you and I have this conversation which I think I feel very comfortable having it with you, where I'm like, you could be coming out of chemo and you could be basically feeling like shit part of me about to throw up in the highway on your way home and I'm having a shit day, and I feel okay telling you I'm having the worst day ever, and you will literally stop and listen to me, And that, to me is true friendship right there.
It's also all relative, you know, like my crap day, they're still just as important as each other's, Like my chemo doesn't trump your day exactly.
But you taught me that you taught me. I remember you yelled at me once because you're like, how did I not know you haven't been feeling well?
Yeah?
And in my head I was like, because what you're going through And you're like, what's wrong with you? That's not really what you said, but I'm not going to repeat it exactly where by word, and I will have to believe you. Yeah, blig me a lot. And then and you were like, in Mari, you're my friend. If you're having a bad day, I want to know about it, you know. And that is priceless because there are very very few people in my life and in your life where we can truly be ourselves. And that's that's priceless.
I mean you are because I know that you were about to get into this and you're hesitant. So we're going to there are things that I will only discuss with you. And you know, one of the things that I've been very honest with you about and we sort of have gone down the path together you've like taken me to doctor Cherry Ross, was what what cancer does to your libido? What it does to I mean, listen, when you're feeling not great about yourself, that's going to kill your libido. But then when it actually impacts your libido, when it takes when meds take your libido away, or it makes you know, things not as pleasant, like sex doesn't feel as good. Whatever it is women, particularly when you get to a certain age like or when you start going through menopause, is really I think when PM talk about that, right, but that's when it all starts happening, when like a woman's sex drive really really really changes. And you know, there are some women who take a lot of hormones for it in order to balance it out. There's some women who don't want to take hormones, but they still want balance well alternative things, and now we have atortive things. Doctor Ross has really been a pioneer in that area. So this is doctor Cherry Ross. She's located in Yeah, she's a gynecologist, and she's listed, she's in and Monica, she makes me blush a little bit.
I got to be honest, I know you're so much more even though we're both conservatives in our own upbringings and like our backgrounds. She like, I'm kind of like, I think the model in business is a little bit more open than the way you were. And I remember sitting in the office with her, because of course I took Shan into the op appointment and I sat there with her because that's.
What I do.
And I remember by the way she took me because you know, I specifically said to her, like I, you know, I need to do something. Things are not working, Things aren't working, and this isn't the life that I want to live. And you know, I also don't want my husband to live like this, so I need to, you know, figure this out. And so Amory next that I already had a guynecologist, but she was like, no, no, no, there's one person that you need to go to and that's doctor Sherry Ross. So now keep going.
And so we went there and you know, she goes and Channon gets her exam and she comes out. She's like me, me, in the office. I'm sitting in the office. She's got all these little these place of things.
Of toys. Then she goes, here's Shannon take this, and Shannon like shoves it in her back. She's like, you think you can see it? And I'm like, I'm like, no one can see it, no one knows. Isn't there. She's like, are you sure?
And she's like, you're going to take this home and this is how you're going to use it. And she was like Shannon was like, I've never seen her disembarrassed. I was probably the only time. And and then the next day, I'm like, so, how did it go? And You're like, I'm not telling you, And I go, it's still in your bag. It's and then she's like, yep, still on.
My bag, Still on the bag, Still in my bag. I think it stayed in my bag for a really long time. Uh she I mean listen, I'm I think I'm turning red, just like your sweating. I can see I was sweating. I'm like, oh my god, I need to turn on the acy in hair. But people don't understand that it's not you know, paramenopause, menopause, just getting older, all of it impacts not just you know, your exterior. It doesn't just impact your skin, but it's also impacting the whole way that your body is reacting and responding. And then you add to that cancer meds, you add to that chemo or and it just zaps you of of everything and it takes your confidence. Yeah, it takes away your confidence. It takes away like your identity. And like I, for the last solid couple of years, probably four years, have felt like a boy. Like I thought I looked like a boy. I am one hot looking boy, thank you. I mean, I just you know, and obviously there were other things you know now, I know that we're playing into it about like you know, other contributing factors into into how I felt. But at the end of the day, like me feeling like that didn't help anything in line relationship. Of course not because then I'm not, you know, engaging with full confidence, which is a problem in a relationship. It was impacting me.
Well, it's like you said earlier, it's like you have to learn to love yourself first, and you weren't loving yourself, so how can you even have somebody else love you?
It's hard. I mean, the one thing I was like, there's two things. One is a serious thing, which is when I discovered you know, the intimate and fasting, which really got like that first initial weight off of me. I think I lost like ten pounds. I remember that it was more than that. I mean I lost ten pounds like two weeks, like quick, and while eating amazing food and just you know, only eating between twelve and eight and then being careful of what I was putting into my body and you know, having prepared meals like that really did it. And then then I always joke that one of the most amazing things about my infusions is that, you know, it made me throw up a lot. So there was the wind cable of day. Yeah, I mean, I guess this is the thing. Sometimes you just got to laugh at it.
I mean you got to find the positive and everything right. There is no other way around it. And honestly, you can't laugh in life. I don't know what you're doing. You can have bad times, but you got to laugh. Yeah, I'm gonna make yourself laugh and cry cry while laughing.
I mean all of our New York trips. I remember I was in New York and I was at Marquis Noah Teppenberg's club, and I'm not going to say who it was, but it's it was a you know, sort of famous journalist, I guess, we could say. And I was there. I started making out with him, and I was not there. My friend was with me, who is gay, and I got up to like go talk to someone that I knew, and I came back and my gay friend was making out with the journalist. Oh my god, I know, and he took him home and I was like, well, there goes that, there goes that. I guess he you know, I guess. I guess my friend was more his type. And that's awesome. But like those were the kind of you know nights that we had back then, or at least that I had, and you were you were probably more well behaved than I was. I've always been a good, well behaved child for the most part. It also made it great for me. It was great. You were like more of the responsible one and the one that would look at me and be like, he's not that cute. Trust me tomorrow, you're gonna you would regret it, like let's go. And I was like, okay, cool, all right, I trust Amory with that decision. We have fun, all right, So this is good, and I know that it's I know that it's like hard because there's probably not one thing and you've kind of addressed it, But like, what are your beauty routines currently?
Well, not currently, I think for the last two years maybe a little bit more, I have really focused on finding the perfect routine because I'm working on my own little thing that may or may not be coming at some point sooner.
I will be the first one.
And I like to do a thing that I mean, it's not my thing, but it's called skin recycling. So basically what I like to do is try a lot of different products in different ways, at different times of the day, in different orders, until I just find that good combination. I think I finally figured it out, but I can't.
Tell you just yet.
You're there, it's coming, So it is very important that I'll tell you one thing that I've learned. The reason you keep your skin moisturized glowy hydra, it's by sealing the moisture in. So when you're applying a product, make sure that you don't start with the dewey gowey stuff first and then put the liquided stuff after, because that doesn't make any sense, right, think about it. So you're gonna put your yellow bomb, that's basically going to be a barrier that's supposed to be your top. They're supposed to keep all the things that you put in there pressed in continue to hydrate you throughout the day.
Right.
So for example, I'm gonna give you one for free, Okay, thank you? You take you do missed. If you're gonna do a toner, I like a missed. I spray it, I pat it down. In the morning, I'll do a hyaluronic acid, so you put it in while the skin is stamped. People don't realize that you shouldn't put hyaluronic acid on dry skin.
You missed.
Do the hyaluronic acid. Then I do a serum or an oil, they're pretty much similar, and then you do a.
Bomb on top. Right, So those are just a normal lotion, moisturizer. Do you ever use this or are you a bomb girl? You know, it depends.
If I'm somewhere hot, I'll probably avoid the bomb, and then I'll do a some protection lotion type thing. And but for the most part, I find that at my later age, as I may or may not be in enter impairmental past, which people don't like to talk about it because it makes you're old. I'm like, I don't care. I'm going to own it. I'm gonna talk about it as everybody knows what they need to do. I just feel like I really need that extra help because what happens is if you allow your skin to get dry and dehydrate it when certain things happen it, that's when you get like your wrinkles on your stretch marks, right like it happens when a woman is pregnant towards the end of the pregnancy. I always tell everybody, you've got to really lotion that belly, like you gotta make it's so gross that you can like pick it with your nails because guess what those last thirty days, everything stretches, everything changes, and if it's dry, you're gonna get a stretch mark, you're gonna get a wrinkle. So the most important thing is to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate, And I always say, you just try to delay as much as possible. And how do you delay that process. It's by hydrating and drinking lots of water, some wine at night, and lots of vegetables. So that's kind of like, you know, I do some other things. I do some treatments, nothing invasive. I have yet to inject myself because I'm just petrified of the needles. Yeah, so I mean this is you can see I can move.
No, I'm looking at you. Your face moves. Mine does too. But I have had botox. Yeah, you've done it a couple of times. Yeah, I've done it a couple of times. I think the last time I did it was like I think six months ago.
Okay, she didn't take me to that appointment.
No, that was when I called you. That was with doctor Jason Diamond. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's right. He is great. It was the first time I've ever been to him, that you went to him. He's great.
He's so light handed that a lot of my friends go to him, and he's lovely. He understands the skin very well. He understands muscles. That's the one thing that people really don't understand that you can really you need to understand. There's so many things happening, there's so many little muscles and nerves in the face that you inject someone wrong. So that's why you're going to go for it. I'm not disapproving, just goes somewhere where the person understands. Plastic surgeons are great at the baby boatox that's what they call it.
So I have I have, I've had a plastic surgeon besides doctor Diamond do potox, and it was horrible, like so bad. I walked in that like two days later, like my husband looked at me and said, what did you do to your I know, I'm I don't know because we're not divorced yet. We're in the middle of a doorce, so I never know what to call him. It's okay, he's still a husband. He was like, what did you do to your face? Like my like my nose wouldn't even move. It was terrible. And then a friend of mine suggested this other guy, doctor Bradley Freedman, who is great. He's on Peko and like a really small little there's totally understands like the muscle and how to hit. And then and then I went to Diamond because I wanted to get like an overall sort of assessment. I wanted to be told like that I didn't need a facelift, you know. I like went in to be like, oh, I'm here. For a face of consult and what I wanted to hear was like, no, you don't need any one. In stead, what I heard was, oh, you're a great candidate for it, and I was like, no, not yet. It petrifies me, but that'll be an interesting moment in life. Oh God, I don't know. I can make fun of you, so you know, I don't know when they put that wrap around your face, it really I will. You're in the wheelchair, and I'll make fun of you the whole way. I don't want to come out like a different person. That's what you really have to frightens me.
You know, there's technologies amazing these days. By the time you actually get the gods to do it, which will be another tenure, you don't even have to do that. The technology will be so advanced, it'll be so easy.
And you know, it's just I do believe.
I like that whole theory of like starting early on doing little tiny things to your skin if it matters. Yeah, you know, I think that's there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think there's anything wrong with anything.
Like do what makes you happy, right, And that's the thing, right, is that there's such a sort of stigma of women who people you know, they get the bowtops and they get the lips done and they get a facelift, and then they want to deny that they got any work done, and and or people judge them and are like, you got work done well first off, if they don't want to tell you, it's not your business, like leave them alone is my first thing. I watch it on Instagram a lot where certain girls get accused all the time, and I'm like, it's called filters. I'm like, yeah, by the way, it's filters, a lot of filters. And but it's also like it's none of your business, Like who cares. It's up to you to be your own individual It's not up to them to teach you how to be an individuals.
And all these things can be private, not private. It's it's all also, but it's also how you present yourself, right because there's a movement right now of all these people magically getting very skinny and they're like, oh, I just drink this and.
Pick movement like all it like it is. I mean, it's very unrealistic. You do not have diabetes and shoot you up with something that listens for diabetes to ease your own, but don't go and promote your workout line right and your supplements asked to how you got that thing? That's unfair, that's unhealthy for our children watching you and following you. One hundred percent, that's my only problem. I don't care if you want to shoot yourself with oozempic every day you go for it. Here's the warning signs you still want to do it, be my guest, but do not lie to the children that are following you by telling them that please take this upplement and do this workout for fifteen minutes, because no workout for fifteen minutes is crap, right, Because because people are impression makes me angry. Can you see how my mood change? But you're but you're right because you have a daughter who's right in that age group of being, you know, impressed by certain people and wanting to impressionable, wanting to look like them. And guess what, I'm a lot older than your daughter, just in case you didn't know, and I'm impressionable. Yeah, Like, I don't mind. I look at women and I'm like, how did they get that butt? How did they get that face? Oh? I need to do their workout I need to do this, and let me tell you. I'll try for like a month and I'm like, yeah, nothing's changed. Seven minute workout like doesn't work, doesn't hard work, We'll pay off. Anyone can lose anything they want. Anyone can build their best version of their body. But it takes a lot of effort. So that's the only part I have an issue with. Talk about the fact that it takes a lot of work. I work out.
Listen, I go on and off. I've been on my back door working now since I got better from my crazy ear issue. I'm going on three month. This is a hard one for me, and I'm curious of what you think. As you know, like my hair has been a struggle, particularly since like I started, so, I had brain surgery in January, followed by brain radiation, lost some of my hair from that, but also the texture of my hair was a.
Text At some point there were we may have to shave my head again, right, and then I'm on you know, infusions and again every single three weeks. And you know, it was only supposed to call light cause light shedding. It did more than light shedding. And as you know, I wore a hat NonStop to like cover it up, and I got cigare wearing a hat and I found this place that does It's called an interlace system. Okay, Essentially it's a weave, right There's it's different than extensions because extensions have a certain amount of metal in them and I have to get MRIs all the time, so I can't have any metal. Okay, So it's it's basically like you know, a mesh with breathable holes that they whatever hair you have left goes through. If you have zero hair like some people, then they do tape. And you know, I my hair was down to hear with this interlace system and it was too long for me. I couldn't manage it because I haven't had a hair in a while, and so I got all this hair all of a sudden. I saw the other night. I was like, whoa, yeah, and I'm you know, I'm getting used to the feeling of hair again. That was my first question, Oh my god, does it feel right? You did ask me that on the phone on FaceTime, and I was like, it all feels good, except like this still feels like I'm wearing a little bit of a hat. But it looks great. Thanks. I struggle with it. And here's the reason why I struggle, because I feel I feel like I feel like it's my responsibility and that it's also what I'm most proud of about myself, to be fully authentic and transparent, but particularly when it comes to cancer, I feel a lot of responsibility and good responsibility right like I embrace it. But I have had thoughts in my head about like, am I being inauthentic right now? Am I? Am? I? Is my authenticity going to be?
Is it?
Is it in question by myself because I'm not embracing the full experience of going through what I'm going through and with so many other women are going through And like the first time, you know, we shaved my head or I wore a scarf. Sometimes I went out completely bald, but either way it was you know, this is me. This is what happens when you have cancer. And I think that just this time around, maybe it's going through a divorce, maybe it's being my age. Maybe I think you're thinking, maybe it's all of it. But I wanted to like, I'm trying to feel somewhat normal and I'm trying to like myself more. And I thought that having hair might help and to a certain degree. It really has helped. Like I'm like, oh, okay, I can be pretty sometimes right there. Okay, I thought that the fact that that's even going through your head, you're not being like true to yourself or you're not being like real.
You're insane. You're like the most real person when it comes to sharing your cancer journey. You don't hide anything, like it's all up for grabs, literally, So I think you need to just and by the way, you might be getting some people the god to be like I'm gonna go do that way you shan't.
Do it, I can do it. I mean, by the way, it is very It does lift you up a little bit. There has to lift at something about it.
And having hair is part of a woman's feminine femininity. It is part of what makes you sexy. It is part of like going on a date and having pretty hair. Yeah, hair is so important.
I meanwhile, your hair is growing underneath it, Like the system is such a good system that your hair grows so like hopefully it only gets better and better.
It's amazing, Like the technology and all the things to make you people that are going through what you're going through make it a little easier because you you don't change a bit of how you're handling this and how you're sharing things. You are not an open book for the most part. So thank you, Thank you for having me. I love you, Thank you very blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for being on I love you all right, guys, thank you for listening. And that was Amory Court right, my beautiful, amazing, wonderful friend. And when I say beautiful, I truly do mean from the inside.
I'm her funniest and nicest friends. And that is also true. So thanks to listening to Let's Be Claire with Shannon Doherty and see you next time.
