Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen YangThis Is The Reason (A Long International Nightmare) (w/ Matt & Bowen)
After a long international nightmare, Matt & Bowen awaken to culture. And it was a bit of a dark week all around! The girls are on one discussing lost luggage, the Eras Tour in Amsterdam and new reflections on Tayla, volcanic eruptions, which women's haircuts to trust in Italy, jellyfish stings, heat exhaustion, being called frociaggine, and Katy Perry. All this, why gay men are so sad, the... assassination attempt, and having a crush on a sweet lil straight guy.
Look mare. Oh, I see you my own and look over there is that culture. Yes, goodness, ding lost dog.
My girl crossed her arms before I counted down for the opening of this very fabulous podcast, Last Culturistas, Can you talk about your body language for a bit?
So we're gonna get into lots of stuff that happened on our trip to Europe, but let's just say suffice it to say right now, I am still without my bags. I am still without my bags from the trip. I am recording this podcast episode on an old microphone. It's a very long story. They did lose my bags three times on this trip. I still do not have them. My podcast mic is in there and I just got word, just got word before we started that actually Ita Airways Ita Airways, which is like the Italian Airline. I guess guy team sky Team.
Uh.
They because of their I don't know, a failure in how they do what they do. My bag is sitting at LAX and if I don't get there in a few hours to be able to pick my bag up, they're going to send it to Central Bag in Atlanta or something. It's just been a complete nightmare, and I am someone who's gone through life without ever losing any bags until this trip when my bag was lost in three different cities.
It really makes you go, why check a bag ever?
Oh honey, And first of all, I want to say, let me not erase the fact that Bowen Yang's bag was also lost.
But Honey, I am really making space for my sister here because what you have gone through feels like I felt like fucking Sandra Bullock at the end of Gravity when I got home from this hellish journey tumbling through the void.
I'm literally picturing you just like trying to learn you to use your feet again, like in your apartment, like well, in the background, it's.
Like I didn't watch that movie again.
That's the iconic score of Gravity, which is just like a woman screaming in the dock like yeah, I'm just like I love it. And you know what, like what a beautiful moment to illustrate the power of women and that sustained belt as Sandra Bullock pulled herself up off that nasty beach that she crash landed on from space up honey, while after she was careening. Wow, Sandra, Sandra, you did that. You I'm sorry, but bo, what's ten minus two?
What is the number of badges per Pokemon region?
Bitch? How many continents plus one?
Girl?
How many planets? Now that they took pootle out?
Well, how many studio albums does Beyonce have cut to me counting? I think that's right right, hold on, let me let me see Cowboy Carter is the eighth studio album.
Thank god, wowy it is okay. I was gonna say, can we do it?
Oh? Yeah, here we go?
Are they counting the one with jay Z? I never really do that?
Here we go dangerously andgerously b Da, b Day, Sasha Fear, Sasha four, self titled Lemonade Renaissance, and Cowboy Carver. So that, yeah, not even counting the Carter's not even counting any joint albums.
Which I personally that's my counton. Like when I think about Beyonce, I think of for us having eight studio albums for sure.
Oh yeah, well oh yeah, And let's get back on the subject of your bag. So I'm just gonna I'm just gonna supplement mass experience here by saying that when we get to Amsterdam, all very excited see Taylor Swift. First of all, our flight was delayed by a few hours, no problem. The six of us were posted up in the Delta lounge. It happened speaking whatever it happens, no problem. But we get to Amsterdam and we got to say, away, what a wonderful look at company that has really served us a nice streamline design for several years. Now, it's gone to the point where, at least in America, at least in the States, too many people have them and there are only a limited amount of color ways, so that you are bound to get your bag mixed up with someone else's, which is exactly what happened to Matt.
Yeah, I can no longer encourage people to buy this product because it has no longer become tenable in you know, carousel and baggage carousels, because what had happened was we get to the baggage carousel in Amsterdam and my bag does not come out, and I think, okay, it's okay, I'm not gonna panic. Then I see someone else's bag, not even on the carousel, off the carousel, with a name tag on it that has someone's full name. And by the way, this is a dark blue standing hard case away bag and it had a bright orange tag on it. That said this woman's full name and all of her information, and I thought, let me call this number because I'm sure she just took my bag thinking it's her point of buying the orange tag, is my honey. This is where I start to get really frustrated. And you know how frustrated I got, because what did I do to that carousel? Oh?
I don't want to I didn't want to say this.
I want to show up today in my truth.
Okay, bless you, sister, and I respect you to the mountains and back my sister. Matt Rogers, in his expression of anger, kicked the carousel.
I kicked it.
But that's okay. It's like, you know, I'm being dead ass, like anytime someone like punches a wall, you know, Adam Driver's it, like anytime someone like hits Thank god, it's not a living thing, but like you know, you know, Matt, this is someone. And I will speak on Matt's athletic prowess in another story and another travel anecdote that happened on this tree. My god, you know what I'm talking about. Yes, I know, but Matt really kicked the girl and it gagged us. We were like, she's angry and she has every right to be.
Suffice it to say, we got in touch with the woman who immediately burst into tears and her boyfriend because she couldn't face me. Her boyfriend came back with the bag, and it was like, yeah, thanks and thank god, but can I ask a question how? And if you are the kind of person who does this and listens to this podcast, I need you to turn off the podcast. And if you're driving, you need to drive off the road. You need to Steve krrel In Morning Show. Because anyone that just goes to that carousel grabs a bag that they thinks is theirs and doesn't check the bag tag to make sure. In a world where away luggage is everywhere and everyone is pretty much the same bag, you are a monster because this added a lot of time and a lot of stress. And thankfully, like at least prior to the trip, you had your wits about you because you put a bag tag on your luggage. If only you had thought to use that bagtag. So a couple hours later we finally get it back and honestly, Amsterdam was lovely, was it not?
Amsterdam was so lovely?
Taylor Swift, the woman that you are, you.
Are fucked up for singing Archer into question for your piano, and not to mention Guilty of Sin into Untouchable, which is so underrated.
I can't describe what it felt like. First of all, it's kind of like it's even higher stakes than like waiting to find out if you want an award. It's actually, you know what, I would like it too. I would liken it to the finale of American Idol when the final two contestants are standing there locked arm in arm, looking at the floor like weighing their future. That's what it feels like before Taylor Swift starts to sing one of the surprise songs, and when she started Guilty as Sin on July fourth, twenty twenty four, like Kelly, I felt like when they said the words Kelly Clarkson and.
That you were Kelly Clarkson herself, we all were well, yeah, I mean I think we all experienced chemically, like on a neuro logical level, like what Kelly Clarkson must have felt like the day that she wanted America, the moment she want American Idol.
Oh my, we collect God, we literally bo what. I think the last time I felt that way was when we were there and she did.
Clean no you, but you also felt that way when she did Death by a thousand cuts, Death by a thousand cuts, he said, in your famous words, as if a great leader had passed away, which.
Literally seventy five thousand people screaming, wailing at the sky, like we had lost someone who was crucial to the success of our humanity. Uh huh, but in a positive way, like no one could believe it. Guilty as sin starts coming out of her mouth. Holy shit, to say nothing of how good the Tortured Poets section was. And can you just talk about this.
This is what we want to say. If there has been any doubt, no doubt that has been born out of us in the way we've talked about Tortured Poet's Department on this podcast. Nope, seeing it live, it all fucking just clicked. I really love that album. I adore it now. After seeing it live and seeing just like I don't know, on a shrooms level, I was like, well, this is perfect hundred. I was like, oh, I get it. She wrote a nineteen seventy five album, and she just she wrote a better nineteen seventy five album than Maddie could have ever written. It's so cool what she's done, that's all.
There was a moment where after the Torture Poets section and the aerostore, so after I can do it with a broken heart, which, by the way, is the moment of the whole show. I mean, the production is nuts on it. Bowen turns to me and he goes, I feel like I already loved it, but now I truly get this album. And I just tossed over my shoulder. She's depressed, and then Bowen goes. Bowen goes, well, yeah, I was like, she was depressed, she got love bombed, and then she wrote an album about it. You're actually also getting me fresh out of therapy, fresh out the slammer, so I said to my therapist today. I was like, so, because I didn't know if I told you this, but I've known for a couple of years now that there's something about midnights for me. And anytime any by the way, someone that were a very close with I would never say their name, calls it flop nights, and I'm shaking with what I What I have to say about midnights. Midnights is that girl, and midnights is my last relationship. Every single song speaks to that experience, to the I had this epiphany the other night where I was like, listening to it because I've been watching like they do this stupid shit on YouTube board. It's like, I listened to Midnight for the first time, I listen to folk love for the first time, like, and that's just how I choose to turn my brain off lately. And someone did it with Midnights and was breaking it down and I'm like, oh my god, I lived this. I lived this album, and you talked about this in therapy oh extensively today. And then I was like, and then I feel like Tortured Poets is a perfect hangover after Midnights.
I think Midnights is their strongest concept. M It's not my favorite, it's her best concept to me if we talk about those with the concept album artist, Yeah, but I love that you have made this connection in your own life.
It will always be important to me because literally Lavender Hayes into Maroon, into anti Heroo, I identify with and into Snow at the Beach, which, by the way, justice for Snow at the Beach. That song is fucking amazing. I think it's even better when they released the version with even that's an even better version, and then until You're on your own kid, and then it's in Midnightrain, I said, no, this album is and then forget about Boen. What was your favorite part of the concert, be honest.
The dueled, the duel. Yeah, it's always gonna be the Jeweled. Just I mean just even the bracelets lighting up around the stadium into jewel tones, the way that all of these gems like on the screen morph into her face. I'm like, come on, like this is ridiculous.
It's such an important moment on the concert because guess what you and I'm talking to you the re I'm definitely talking to you. The katies. I know you need this. You need to hear this. Everyone needs to hear this. You can still make the whole room shimmer. You can.
Oh yeah, best believe you are still bejeweled. This woman, I have it on good authority. Did our show with the Sidus infection?
Yep?
She was wiping away snot and I can confirm you know what. I find it so refreshing because it's like seeing Jonathan Groff like spit at the whole audience, Like it's like being in the splash, don' a merrily we roll along. It's like, yeah, these people have fluids inside of them, just like you and me.
It's real culture number eighteen. Yeah, these people have luids inside of them, just like you and me.
You know what, I was talking about this with Lily Gladstone. There is nothing wrong with talking about chit or toilet humor quote unquote or poop piss things coming out of your mouth, because that is those are actually the only universe human experiences.
One hundred thousand percent. More people shit then feel happy, sad, excited, surprised.
And more angry.
Like everyone shits, not everyone feels every emotion. And you know there's some sociopaths out there. They might not feel every emotion, they might not have empathy, but they do shit. And that is the equalizer.
That is the equalizer.
She one hundred percent during Cruel Summer, at the end when she's going with you, with you, she tossed her shoulder over and she looked, she knew where you were, and she gave us a with you and we screamed, We screamed.
Tailor.
Love her anyway, Bravata Taylor.
Okay, so we do Amsterdam then July fifth, We're supposed to border flight to Catania, which is on the eastern coast of Sicily. We get to the airport, we lounge in the lounge, as you do looking forward to our trip. Matt and I had checked our bags along with some of our other friends, and we go to the lounge. Then we get to the gate after some delays, which we don't think anything of, just I think there was three or four delays total, just like a little inching delays like thirty minutes, thirty minutes, thirty minutes, thirty minutes, two hours. All told, we were like, no problem. We get to the gate, I look at the monitor and see that the flight is canceled. Canceled, What, oh my god? What do we do? Then we all go back to the lounge. On the way back to the lounge, all of us pull up our phones and see that all of our flights have been rebooked to different flights essentially except Matt and I have been booked to the same one because we booked our flights basically together on the same confirmation. These rebookings are for like not like a few hours later, but like two days later.
Days later. So then we think oh, there must be something really wrong, and also this can't be right. So we go to the lounge and we ask the women working at our airlines lounge, like, hey, do you know what's going on with these flights? Oh? Yes, all those flights have been canceled. And the woman who will go down in history as one of the great deliverers of any lines ever for all time, turns to us and says, it is because the volcano has erupted. It is the eruption. This is the reason.
Six gay men face cracked all at once.
This is the reason I said, any time you ever deliver bad news from now on, you have.
To end it with this is the reason. Title of that.
It is the volcano. It is erupted.
This is the reason. Now. To be honest, I heard that and I was like what. And I was like I don't I think she's making this up. It can't be and like where is there a volcano in Sicily, Like I did not. I listen. This is where you go. God. I wish I could have worked at like a wine bar or something. Because Mount Etna, one of the few and maybe biggest act of volcanoes in Europe, erupts at such a regular interval that like the soil there is amazing. The grapes that come out of there are world class. Some of the best wines, some the best Italian wines you could ever get, are from Sicily, are from another ETNA region. But Mount Enna had erupted, with spewing lava covering the town of continue in ash. The airport was closed.
Because obviously, once the atmosphere is affected in that way, you cannot fly in and out, which totally fair. Of course, we think, okay, act of God. Whatever. So now we're just like, we literally have a moment where we're saying, okay, so because the volcano has erupted, tragedy has struck an act of God, maybe we're not even going to Sicily. Heartbreaking. We start to decide where else in the world we should go. We start thinking, maybe we'll go to Baja Maar. Maybe. Do you remember when we almost went to Baja mar.
And then I looked up flights. We would have had to pay four figures to travel twenty five hours total with layout, so.
That was not in the cards. Then we find out, oh, the airport in Catania is reopening, and we're like, well, okay, so are the flights back on, No, they are not. That only we in that three hour window, I guess lose the flight. Everyone else rebooks for that same day, et cetera. So we deal with the legends. These women were legends.
At the kale Lounge because so we checked in it was a Kalem flight. So Kalem is the sky Team in the Netherlands, like the sky Team airline in the Netherlands. They're partnered with Asta Airways. More on that later, but we talked to these women at the Kalem Lounge. Two really were legendary.
They were legendary. They got us rebooked on another situation. So the four boys we were with were gonna get into Catanya like four hours prior to me and Bowen, who we're going to get there on a little bit of a later flight. We couldn't all work that out whatever, So then we got the next day, Bowen and I land in Catania. All the boys are there already. They're sending us these pictures of our like this hotel, the Villa St. Andrea where we were staying. It was so beautiful. We had everyone that worked there was so incredible. It's just such an amazing experience, but they're sending us these pictures of them splashing around in the sea. We land, our bags are not there again.
And at this point we wait in line in the chaotic Catania airport. Oh honey, And I must bring up and I brought this up to Matt when we landed. I said, there's that thirty Rock quote where it's both a Jenna and Jack quote, because Jack sets it up early on in the episode where he goes, this has Manhattan real estate, Liz, there are no rules like check in at an Italian airport.
No rules.
Then later on Jenna tells Liz, well, this has Manhattan real estate, Liz, there are no rules like check in at an Italian sex party. The chaos of an Italian airport is unmatched. And I've been to Asia and some of these Asian airports are crazy, but not as crazy as all of the airports in Italy, and I mean all of them. I'm sorry to generalize.
No, it was shocking. It was shocking. But then we will say this. When we got to the front of the Lost and Found at Katania Airport, we were dealing with truly the one legend that worked there, which is that woman with that wonderful haircut. Remember she had that like crazy like blunt brunette.
Biangled blunt brunette bob. She had Bayonetta glasses. She looked fierce and she was doing her best, and she was very patient with us because I did get her seat unfortunately chewed out by an Italian man ahead of us. And this woman just wanted a nice person to talk to her, and we were willing to bet those people, even after all we've been through. But we told her, these are our bags, this is where we're staying. By the way, I love your haircuting glasses, and she kind of looks at me and goes, I think her thought was Jeane, and then she just kept looking for the bags.
Frocha Jeane was definitely a subtext of almost everything anyone said to us. In fact, when we so a couple days later, like cut to we go to the resort, it's stunning, it's beautiful. A few days later, we were actually on a boat and some guys who were cruising past us did yell the words frojacine at our boat, but Bowen I wasn't really able to hear it. And that's because earlier that day I had been stung by a jellyfish. The jellyfish stung me in the waters, and I don't know what happened next, but I do know that I lost pretty much all my faculties, either due to the sting or heat exhaustion both. So fine, we get the bag back I put. I finally put my bathing suit on. We get on this damn boat, which we were so thrilled to enjoy. The water is so clear you could see to the bottom. But we are on the boat. I'm sick as shit. But you didn't get in the.
Water, and you were rejunated, and this just confirms that you are a troop Heissian like you are of the water. But the other creatures of the water that are not fish will come and get you.
They were threatened by me. I think that's what happened. They were like, oh, this fish thinks he's somebody sting. They got me gal. They took me out, and I was miserable on this boat. And if you look at pictures, it's just all the guys like jumping in the water doing whatever, and me in like a full denim jacket, like shaking like a leaf. I was so sick and these men cruised by frojacchine f r O c in Sultan fulta injury over heard, damn it insulted, injury rallied, you rallied.
You were such a champion that day. And then we get home and you were like, I don't think I can make it to dinner. And then you you rallied yet again to come to dinner. And we had a dinner.
We certainly had a dinner, and not everyone was their best self, but that's for our private knowledge. Everything's fine now, it's all water under the bridge. But it got a little Housewives at dinner, and I would have preferred it not because.
We had been watching Housewives. But we also didn't mean to skip over this. Matt luckily got his bag back. I would say, what.
Two days in?
Two? Three days in? Yeah, mine was on this delay. I found out that it never left Amsterdam. I think neither of our bags had left Amsterdam.
Mm hmmm, so like, oh no, no, no, no, no, Remember my bag was in Catania the entire time.
Your bag wasn't Kntanna the entire time. My bag never left Amsterdam. I don't know how that works, but that's just to air race for you and I after much delay, this lost and Found office in the Catania airport. I mean that should be a more invested sector of that place because of what I imagine the common cancelation. How common the cancelations are there, Like you better have like whatever bag retrieval lost and found system there, like be rock solid. And it's one guy manning one phone. And so our poor concierge, Sandy Legend at the concierge just was calling every fifteen minutes to no answer.
Same haircut as the girl from the airport. By the way, did you notice that every woman in Italy who has like the Luccia from White Lot to Sicily haircut is as much of a sleigh as Luccia is. Yeah, so only trust women with that haircut in Italy. It's actually ruler culture number thirty. Only trust women with the haircut in Italy. The rest of them are not to be trusted. And don't I don't even want to talk about the men.
The men, and I don't know about the men. I think you maybe were asleep for this. But we had the guys coming over saying gene to us whatever, and then we had another guy I remember that and do like a little like Kate Blanchette, like limp wrists.
Yeah no, there we were being attacked at sea.
But this is the thing, Like all of those guys, I'm like not to be all legally blonde the musical, but I'm like gay or European. I was like, I couldn't tell if it was them like being homophobic or them being like, hey, like, y'all gay like us, because it's just like, these are gay looking dudes.
These are gay guys.
I'm sorry, but like, the aesthetic of a gay guy is universal, and whatever these men do in the privacy of their own bedrooms with whoever they choose to do it with, is irrelevant because y'all read gay and it renders your fraucioginie or your lympres from your silly little boats irrelevant and ineffective. So I actually don't really care that they were being homophobic. I really don't A'm like, oh whatever.
First of all, last time I saw a group of gays in Italy, Jennifer Coolidge died, so I don't need to hear anymore.
We wake up the morning of July twelfth in Italy. Jared had left on an earlier flight He lands in Rome early in the morning and texts us I wake up before Matt does Texas. Just got to room. A bunch of flights Ticotania are canceled. Check yours. I look up my flight number. It's canceled.
Canceled again because of more fumes from the volcano.
Because of more eruption from the volcano. I walk over to Matt's room and I didn't realize what I was doing, but rush over to Matt's room, and like he wakes up and looks up and goes what And then I freeze. Do you remember this? I freeze because I was like, I'm about to ruin this man's day, my best friend's day. I'm about to ruin it. But you had to tell me the truth. I did, oh, I said.
And he told me the flight was canceled.
And Matt leapt out of bed with uh, spirited, you're kidding. And we were scrambling to find a way out. We just wanted to get the fuck out. As much as we enjoyed our stay there, it was just too I mean, like we had already pushed the day, we already extended the stay at the resort because we lost a day and a half and because like I was basically there with like my luggage on the last day in the day and a half as well, and then I immediately booked a flight to Paris, where we would have had to stay at a hotel airport to then wake up the next day and go back to JFK as soon as those tickets robot eat to Airways goes just kidding, your flight is uncanceled, yeah, giving us like minutes to scramble and get the fuck out of that resort from Taramina and drive down to continent like the whole Like that airline can fucking eat my.
Ass, choke on my ass? How about that suffocate on my ass?
I can't believe EATA Airways made us do that. Basically they're bad.
They are a bad airline. I don't know how else you get in and out of that area of the world. But there has to be some other way. There should be, like some type of lawsuit that should be able to be filed. Like I feel so litigious because not only that Bowen, but this whole time, and I'm gonna get to Kitty Perry, but this whole time, I'm thinking, well, at least we'll get home and there's no reason why my bag should go missing a third time. Land in JFK. Your bag pops out, mind does not. Okay, now it is the last minutes of the trip and I'm without my bag. I'm just like, you know what, I'm gonna go home. It's July eleventh. The Katy Perry song is out. Yes, so I'll be like, you know what, I'll just in the car. I'll make myself feel better because I know Katy Perry is gonna give something. This is the worst song of all time? Can you believe?
That?
It's called Woman's World? Produced and written by doctor Luke and five other people, including Katie herself. The verse that literally they allowed the entire Internet to run with the bit that it was a joke never corrected. That is actual leave the song. The lyrics to that song are actually I've actually only listened to it two times because I refuse to give it streams so intelligent, she is, what the fuck is she talking about?
That is kind of like the most minor offense to me, I think Jesse David Fox wrote a wonderful piece about how just because you call something satire does not make it any more elevated. Than does not elevate any part of this work, and for her to put out this video after the video comes out, being like you can do anything, even satire in all caps, and it's just her being so uncomfortable on set for this BTS moment, being like we're just being yeah, like on the nose and like just really like on the nose, and it's like supposed to be stupid and we're like being cheeky but like it's with a wink, but it's like on the nose.
I don't know what it was. I think that American Idol and maybe Vegas made her think that the only way forward for her was to be more broad, Like listen, it wouldn't even have to be a thing of like kind of fuck her if she didn't have doctor Luke on it. Like you actually made everyone participate in this thing of like oh, the Katy Perry come back, and then not only was it incredibly mid, but you're just like waving in everyone's face that it's like tormentor of a lot of your peers. Because mind you, it's not just Kesha that he had a problem with, Like Kelly Clarkson also in a deposition, said that he was not a good guy and that all she wanted was to never work with him again, and the label fucking made her.
So.
I don't know what it is with the music industry and this fucking dude, but the listeners are not buying it, especially when it also sucks what It's a woman's world and you're lucky to be living in it. This is like a girl power platitude from nineteen ninety nine. This is like late nineties, early two thousands. Bullshit, she's a sister, she's a.
Mother, Stream stupid love.
She's a sister, she's a mother. You wrote teenage Dream, Like, what are we doing here? This is a person who burst onto the scene with I Kissed a Girl, which was, in Bowen's words, serrated first single with personality that was different, that was specific.
This was never the way she planned, not her intention.
I mean, just read the Pitchfork article, read the cut, read like any piece of media that's talked about this, and it would be one thing if it was just a mid song or a bad song like it happens. But you literally went out of your way to be like, no, it's gonna be worth it to work with this problematic person because at least he's the best at what he does. I guess that's not even true anymore, right, and it never will be again.
What's confusing is the lead up to it seemed so like they could have done it any other way besides the way they did it, which was little drips, little leaks, little snippets, little things like actually, we're gonna be the ones to release the credits that include doctor Luke. Like that was after the snippets lead, and the whole Internet was confused, being like what the fuck is this?
And then like dope, And by the way, they're silent about it. Crazy, they're silent about it. She doesn't even say like, you know what I see? And I understand the response. Here's what I'll say back. It's just nothing. It's just a complete disregard.
The response was that you can do anything, even satire video, which I couldn't even make it through because I was just like, I like, she's she's just doing like her bit voice, and all these background dancers are behind her, like sheepishly nervously grinning, being like what the fuck is she talking about?
Oh? The dancers looked like they were yikes, they looked shook. I felt bad first of the video's nuts, like especially like it ends, like even if it does track a satire the way it ends with her holding up a ring light in the form of the feminine symbol and the TikToker being like, who are you and her going? I'm Katie Perry with like the ring light female symbol in the air, like what are you talking about?
It's a tough time. I want to point out something, just to move on from a woman's world. Any closing thoughts, I feel like you have expressed yourself very very well.
I mean, I feel bad that the review of this song is coming on the heels of this trip where my luggage was lost several times and the stakes weren't so high for her and not only just for comeback but making men around. She could have really turned it around. And maybe it's the wrong single, or maybe she just sucks now.
I think there's a knockins razor thing here where it's like the simplest explanation is probably the real one. I can't A fun moment happened on the flight home, though, that before before the torture began. In the words of Riba, I was on the plane, I was on the iPad watching something while Matt was reading a full lass book. And it was a fun little role reversal because it was like I was watching season one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
And living my life. Here's my thing.
I'm not that in the early seasons of a lot of franchises, but specifically Beverly Hills.
Oh it's so good.
I was like, God, damn, I can't believe it was just right there all along, and this is from the beginning, so fucking good, Like wow, I did not realize that the Kim and Kyle thing is there from day one, from the film episode one.
It's essentially the main plot of the show. That's why I say Kyle is the protagonist because like that's like sure, totally that was the show. And the first two seasons of Beverly Hills is like what Housewives always is trying to be. Yeah, does like certain seasons of different franchises, like you know, season nine of Atlanta or even earlier in Atlanta two like or season honestly, season four of Salt Lake, like season one and two of Beverly Hills is like one.
Of those, right, Like just what I cannot stop thinking about is how perfectly distilled of a housewife moment Taylor Armstrong, Like the perfectly distilled moment of Taylor Armstrong saying if you can't be my friends, please don't be my enemy.
My enemy.
It's like that is so the PATHO said that is like it feels like the classics. It feels like, oh, like it doesn't get better than that.
Oh, I love it. I mean, so I'm looking over in Bowen is like Bowen turns his screen and it's just Kim Richard's face in a confessional. And I had to laugh because I looked down at my book and I was reading Me and Boys by Jeffrey Mack, and I was just like literally reading a chapter about how like empathy is the only way forward, like the last essay in the book is called Me and Boys and like it. Actually, this is really interesting and timely because it talks about the psychology of a mass shooter and.
Of just gunmen, people who want to kill people in general, right exactly, and just it's usually these broken men.
And I will say that book was excellent and I was really happy that I read it, and I've been thinking about it a lot because I've been thinking a lot about like the drug culture amongst the gay community. I've been thinking a lot about, you know, our collective mental health.
Even after Taylor in your shrooms moment, you had googled in the night, why are gay men so sad? Yeah, And I think that was And I really told you the next day. I was like, I think it's a really good thing that you did that. Like, I don't think you should be like, don't chalk it up to like drugs or anything. It's just like, this is a totally valid thing to ask, especially in the summertime, when people are all across the fucking spectrum with their emotions, whether they're like happy that it's summer, they're with their friends, or they're even with their friends in sad and like just very morose about like how overwhelming life can be.
I definitely googled the words why are gay men's so sad? And I can tell you that it has a lot to do with the fact that, no matter matter how happy we think we are, we especially men of our generation, have internalized rejection to such an extent that we come to expect it so that when it happens it's extra crushing. But also it's something that we're like low key used to we live every single day with really the ingrained idea like really, in our DNA, we are not valuable. And so that informs a lot of the way we react to each other, the way we treat each other, the way that we feel when we see other people succeed fail attempt things, the way that we interact with one another in romantic situations.
The way that we adopt like certain conventions within like a gay subculture or our culture within that culture. Like I think it kind of motivates if a drug use in the gay community, Like I think it motivates, like why does everyone at basement have the same sunglasses? Like I love that they have the same sunglasses. But it's just like arbitrary thing of like we all sort of adopt these conventions, these literal conventions, these units of the culture, and like it's all just like this crazy two mirrors facing each other, but it's like actually millions of mirrors facing it. It's like it just gets like reflected into infinity, and like it just amplifies like the pain and the misery, and it's interesting.
I mean, essentially, I think we're all just trying to be cool and individuals and we're all trying to like be interesting, and we're trying to find community within community, and we're all out here. And a lot of what this book talks about is like the way that fashion and politics speak to each other and the way that culture they say, politics flows downriver from culture. So this is this is like one of the ideas in this book. And so there's a whole chapter about, you know, people going to art Basil and Miami and how that's really more about partying, like exclusively about partying and not really about art. But on the outset, it feels like something that you need to go to and participate in in order to be part of the culture. Right, and then you go and you're just fucking exhausted and high, and then you're like, hold on a second, wait, why did I even come here?
And that sounds like so many things. Yeah, it's like everything.
It's like going to that party, this thing that being pictured this way on Instagram, looking this way, wearing these clothes, like essentially all these things are being decided for us by someone up top who is really unhappy. So it's just and it sounds like a dark book, but and in many ways it is, but it was also very illuminating and I think very true.
Yeah, and I really really loved I'm gonna read the ending, I think forever. I love he ends on this hopeful note of like empathy is the only way forward. It's like it is the thing that like it makes me think of sorry, but like fleabag, like people are all we've got, Like other people are all we've got, right, that is like the only way out of your the prison of your own mind or whatever. Like connection is important and community and it is like the building block of like an egalitarian society, and like what is happening right now in the culture is that like those things are being broken down and everyone feels disconnected in all these troubling things.
Yeah, and basic human empathy and understanding is one way to really connect with someone else and find that community, because you're not gonna find happiness in a sweater or a party or a drug, Like you're never gonna find lasting happiness in those things. And I don't know, it was just it was just really refreshing almost to feel it put like that and a lot of reading it was very tough, but I recommend it, especially for you know, gay men our age or queer people our age really or anybody very good. But anyway, that's why, that's what I was doing while Bowen was watching Kim and Kyle argue in the limo.
God, Kyle, like, you take that back right now? Or just do you hear what you just said? Do you hear you said?
You are a liar and an alcoholic? I love such a fucking liar, Camille. Oh God that I would say this that back then Kyle had a different personality. Back then, Kyle was nasty nice.
She wasn't what Becka producer Becka says, my husband has treated you like a second wife. Jesus.
But like, wait, have you gotten to the scene where Kyle and Kim team up in Bully Brandy Glenville.
No, Brandy has Yeah, well I do, of course know you're a slut peg like that's iconic, Kim Richards right there?
Yeah, well, Brandy And one she Brandy's like new to the show in the second season and she comes in on crutches because she's hurt her foot or something, and she's over their house and they're being so merciless to her, and then they hide her crutches.
I mean that is monstrous, but also it's Brandy Glanville and so and that is like one of the most despicable human beings to ever be put on TV.
Well, I mean, listen, I think that's what made her though, Like I think that's that was the origin story right there. I was like no, because I remember I went back and I was like, oh, there's Brandy Glanville. I can't wait to see how crazy she is. Like here we go. And then I'm watching it and I'm like, no, Kyle, and like, there be I really mean there they were mean, so mean, And it wasn't until years later that like or maybe even a couple of years later that like Kyle became like sort of like the defacto attagonists who we all love and like, you know, the sweet, gooey center of Beverly Hills. But you know, it's it's interesting to see where where she started.
It was not what it is now, Producer Becka says, except Brandy's son did piss outside.
Lol.
Well the thing like Brandy, like I love that We're talking about season two of Beverly Hills on this podcast in twenty twenty four, but I I just can't believe I didn't know about the whole like Brandy fucking ruining Adrian's marriage thing.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no, Like, well, it's crazy.
This woman has destroyed so many lives.
She's she's definitely chaotic is a kind word. But I also know that she's fucking going through it now and I it's a whole fucking thing. Whatever I was. OHC is great this season. I love so is Jersey. Oh C and Jersey are both giving, but Jersey is just wild because the more you watch Teresa's scenes, the more you realize what a warped reality she lives in. Oh yeah, every scene with her is completely berserk. Like in this last episode, there's a scene where they like are going to a live show she's doing for her podcast, which, by the way, Teresa with a podcast is an interesting, interesting idea. But she has the women like gather before the podcast taping in like this big quiet room, and it's just you can tell they're all just like sort of trying to find something to talk to her about. And jen Aiden is just she's just so.
Sad.
You can tell she's such a broken person that she's it's coming out in very toxic ways and she was not watching What Happens Live the other night and it was really weird, and it just the Teresa and Jenn of it all. It just has to stop. It's just gotta stop. And like, you know, I guess if you wanted to continue, then give Teresa her own show and will see how many people watch it. But like, this is not Housewives of New Jersey anymore. It feels like two different shows. One is like Jen and Teresa being these like sad, dark clowns, and then the rest of it is the Housewives of New Jersey. And I feel like that's the show we should be watching.
But I'm not totally up to be on Jersey. I am. We're only one episode into OC at the time of this recording, and I'm enjoying it very much. Yeah, Shannon Spike and Cameron saying perfect is oh so conic.
So good. I mean, that was a great episode. And I feel like, you know, this is all the pop culture of right now? What else? I mean, like a gypsy Rose is pregnant, you know, good for her? What else?
Oh?
Right, there was an assassination attempt on Trump. I guess in the grand scheme of things. I just want to say, I think it's fucking pathetic the way that the Democrats have handled this. I just think it's ridiculous that like the thoughts and prayers like we obviously I never want this to happen. When is someone just gonna stand up and say the truth, which is the fact that one of the reasons this can even happen is because the man that is the leader of this political party would do nothing to stop something like this from happening. Oh, you're kidding, someone who spews a violent rhetoric and makes this an even more unsafe country to live in day after day after day as we take this high road towards death, like this guy finally had the violence turned around on him. You don't say.
Well, and then for the response from the Center, because that's what they are to be, like, to apologize for even existing is so devastating and so sad, and it's it's like ceiling the fate of an entire country, world whatever, it's like. It's just it's bad, it's really bad.
Just make it about but let's just make it about guns. If you want the gun situation in this country to change, you cannot support the GOP. You cannot do it if and even if we weren't just gonna make it about that, let's make it about abortion. If you want that to be an option in this country, an option, you cannot support the GOP. Like, I feel like I'm going fucking crazy, and obviously, like I don't think Biden is the way forward. Obviously, I just think it fuels people that are like, oh, well, Biden, I don't know, he can't string two sentences together. Sure, while that's true, at least we would still have democracy and a chance to change these things. Like huh, I feel like I'm living on another planet.
The effect that it's having on me is like what I'm kind of going through at the moment, which is just to like ignore ignore it, which is like not constructive, not productive. It's just like it's kind of protective for now, and I get it. I will come out of it. It's just I need this week to be over of R and C stuff and then.
And then who knows, oh my god, and the JD events of it all, like the fact that like he was out here saying that Trump is Hitler, and like the this is literally I mean, it's just it's comical, this fucking joke of a human that they've chosen as the VP.
Was out here being like I would never support him. I would never vote for him. You're sick if you do. He's like Hitler d D. And now he's just like gladly signed on the dotted line to be next in line to power. Like if you don't see this, you're a moron. Like it's it's crazy, bro, it's it's it's nuts. But you know, it's a woman's world. We're lucky to be living in it. Is there anything happy going on? Is there anything good? I like the Kesha single.
Kesha singles great. I don't know, hard to say.
We did have fun in Sicily and we did have fun in Amsterdam, and Taylor was amazing.
I really loved those experiences at least on like a on a stress level, which is like what I tend to like, what motivates me to go on vacation. Like it came out a full wash, like with the travel stress on the ledger, with the pleasures that were had, like it was balance net zero, which is not bad. It could be worse.
Oh, it could have been very a lot worse.
Yeah, but I'm just saying like, ugh, all right, Like that that's where I'm at with that vacation for now. I'm sure like years from now, I'll like forget about like those bad travel memories will flush out sooner than the good memories of being in the destinations.
There was like a moment where I was swimming around in the sea and I was so happy to be there and I felt like so free, And that's when I was just like, you know what, Actually, it's not worth it to be like nihilistic and fatalistic about everything. Like there's so many beautiful things in the world. There's so many experiences to be had. There's so many people that are out there that don't want like the negativity and the darkness and the you know, fucking hellscape that it seems like we're headed towards. I wish that there could be projected more positivity, but I also think we're in a moment where we need to fucking snap in and understand and get that like like, yeah, I hear things that we take advantage of, we're taking we take it for granted, dude, and I we do.
I'm not all the way hopeless. I'm just like saying right now, the past, yeah, seventy two you know, ninety six hours actually have just been a lot. Should we move into I don't think so, honey. Sure this is I don't think so honey. This is our segment where we take one minute to rail again something in culture, Matt, Do you have something?
Do I have something? Uh? Do I have something? I feel like this entire episode has been I don't think so, honey.
Yeah, we can skip it. We can we can make history.
No, I don't think we can. Sure I have it. I don't think so, honey.
Okay, this is Matt Rogers. I don't think so many as time starts now, I.
Don't think so, honey. No trick in parmesan in Italy.
It's American, Babe, it's an American thunny, it's so American.
And I that's kind of like at a certain point it really was all I wanted. I was like, can wait to get a big old piece of chicken covered in marinara and cheese. And then it was curiously on no menus, and I said, I don' I don't think so, honny that I've seen it even offered. Then I come to find out when I say it to out loud to someone like, well, why is there no chicken parm Everyone's like, oh, that's an American thing, and I was like, well, that stinks because I think one of the great dishes is chicken parmesan. And I'm embarrassed from my lack of culture. But how exactly did the chicken parmesan become not only such a staple Italian food, but such a Marqueese Italian food if it doesn't even happen in Italy or at least Sicily, it doesn't even happen there. But yeah, I don't think so, honey, But I was not able to get that it is my favorite food. I would have loved it authentically in Italia, but I guess I'll have to go to it's authentic birthplace. What New York?
I don't think, son, that's one minute. Oh, this happens all the time with like quote unquote like cultural foods. It's like, there's American niced Chinese food like things on a Chinese men. You hear that you would never ever find anywhere across the great big country of China.
I mean, listen, here's what's great for us if we want our favorite things that are Italian but not Chinese. But not we have them in spades here in America. You just can't go get it in a place where you'd think they would absolutely knock it out of the park.
MM, totally.
Totally. Do you have an I don't think so, honey, topic I do.
It's a little inappropriate, but here we go inappropriate. Yeah, you'll see, you'll see why this.
Is Mowan yangs. I don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I.
Don't think so honey, when cute straight guys aren't gay. I was at a wonderful event last night helping to support Sean Wang, the director the Oscar nominated director of Night nine and Ypo, which is the documentary short that was nominated at the Oscars this year. It's on Disney Place if you want to check it out to seventeen minutes. But he's coming up with the movie on July twenty six, called Dedi and it takes place in two thousand and eight. It's like a coming of age story taking place in California. Of this like Chinese kid who's growing up, the oldest sister in thirty second single mom, the grandma's living there with them. I have never related to a movie more, at least not in a while. Joan Chen is a fucking force of nature. She's one of our fucking best. Put some respect on the name Joan Chen. Watch Shoeshoe The sent Down Girl. Wonderful movie. I can't recommend enough. I feel like Sean Wing is the perfect example of straight cute guy who is just a wonderful person inside and now sing goes for Eric Noam, who's also at the dinner. K pop star from Atlanta. Gosh, I mean, like they're missing out, We're missing out. It's a shame sometimes, you know, like sometimes you just feel that way about certain guys. You're like, oh, what a that's a bummer.
And that's when Minta and change and I have to say, I agree with you, sister. I mean, sometimes I'll meet a straight who has that thing.
Ninety nine percent of the time i'll meet a straight guy, I'm like, yeah, no problem. Even if they're like wonderfully attractive or great on paper whatever, I'm like, no problem. I can cope with that. But every now and then you meet a couple people where you're like.
Damn, who sticks? Who sticks? They stick?
And we're like, oh, that's that stings, you know.
Well, I recently embarrassed myself. It was like a month ago, we were doing game show and one of the contestants, one of the straight contestants. That's famously the conceit is that there's two straight contestants competing, and I had such a crush on one of them. And he actually said I didn't realize he was in front of me, but I said, oh, wowed, like, oh my god, I would know it all away if he were ever to decide he was gay, et cetera.
I think I know what you're talking about.
And he was right there and I didn't even realize he was there, and I was so embarrassed, and I felt like I had embarrassed him, and I was like, oh no, but that was my vulnerable moment. I know. But it's okay. It's okay to have a crush, like it's just like and honestly, sometimes it's nicer to have a crush on a straight person because at least now you don't not to deal with any of their bullshit, because that's a whole other thing that I'm so annoyed about right now, which is like dating in the summer, or like trying to engage with guys on the Saturday. You're all so annoying. All all anyone wants is attention, and then you give them attention.
And I'm just so over it. I'm so over it. Get stay out of my dms. If you're just trying to get you, I'm like, no, none of us have the time, including you. I'm trying to met you like these guys like you. In the words of Jerry Blank, bring a book, Bring a book, read a book.
It's ridiculous, Like when it's like, don't engage with me in a way that would suggest you're down to like see if there's more if like, if that's not true, it's fine. I get it. It's the summer. Everyone wants to have their fun like little single, sexy summer. I get it.
Just don't get it.
Play. Don't play in anyone's face.
Y'all play too much. You're playing in our faces. But I'm encountering on multiple occasions in recent we weeks. And I'm not really complaining about this, although I am, because it is just kind of like fucking annoying. Is like guys talking to me on the apps, like expressing genuine interest, flirting, and then oh, I see what the endgame is then being like, so, I'm just actually curious if you'd want to come on my on the podcast that I started. No, I don't want to do that. That's fucking weird. That's a weird pretense. And don't fucking do that with people. Just don't do that with anybody period. Do not like flirt with them textually in the hopes that you can book them on your podcast. Get the fuck out. That's I can't fucket southetic. It's so weird.
Sometimes I'm like, I can't even make I don't even know. Like, I guess I should just go into every situation now just assuming it's like totally platonic and friends and like, don't ever assume anything from anyone. But the fact is that some of us are thirty four and actually trying to find, yeah, a situation.
And I would say, like, I recommend that mindset, Matt, But like, also, I've been doing that for a while now, and I can't say that it's like yielded any great results. I mean, like, I'm polite, I give people their boundaries. It is good to assume platonic pretense. But I am also like, oh, but like I wonder if I've missed down on things. But that's also like it's impossible, Like you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't.
Yeah, yeah, it's it's.
Like anyway, back to my point, some some really wonderful straight guys are out there, and we celebrate you. We celebrate Sean Wing. Go check out Dty in theaters. July twenty sixth. Fantastic Joan Chen. I will not shut the fuck up about Joan Chen. That is one of a talent, a talent, Oh my god. And she is the funniest motherfucker on set, on any set she's on, I have a good authority.
We love when people earn that, earn that Moniker, funniest.
Sons, funniest bit, no bitch that on the wedding bank when it was Joan motherfucker Chen. Love hera love love love hera Hurrah, hurrah speaking the funniest on set. I mean congratulations to everyone involved with O Mary Finally on Broadway. I saw it on Friday. I mean, just a perfect show, a perfect show, and I'm so happy for everyone involved. Cole James Scully, Connor, Rick Moa, Hannah Solo.
Peter Smith, Peter Smith, Sam Pinkleton, everybody, everybody crew, We love.
Them wonderful, wonderful and go check it out.
That's some great news, right to feel to feel so excited for them, Like, yeah, I mean that's amazing, that's amazing.
That's one shining light in the void. And I think we should. I really love hearing you talk about books. I think you should start reading more.
Well, reading more is so I'm drinking a lot less, a lot less, I'm reading more. I'm trying to take care of my skin. Honestly, I always been kind of nice over the past few days. I'm like because like, while I feel like less impetus to go out and do things here just because whatever reason, it also like keeps me fucking healthy and in my own lane, no problem, because New York has been kind of chaotic recently.
From sure, you know what I've been doing ever since I got back, like in a manic way almost is doing all my laundry and folding all my bed linens. And it's actually really satisfying. And I can fucking fold any fitted sheet now, like it's my job and I would be happy to do it for anyone.
Yeah, can I tell you what I'm feeling I'm feeling like readers, I'm sorry, like I feel I feel like I feel like about what. I don't want to be so negative about the state of the world and Katy Perry, but they leave me no choice. It's your truth.
Also, you just got the news that fucking your bag is still not at your house, which you were promised it would be days ago. But I didn't realize that this is your first time losing checked luggage. I've had it happened several times, and I told and I kept having to reassure Matt in a way that I didn't mind. I was like, no, no, like anytime I've lost my luggage, like it's gotten back to me, they will send it back to you. They can't even do that, which is like a basic fucking part of the contract. But like, I'm really sorry, and you don't have to apologize for being a little bit, you know, ornery, so whatever.
I'm also fresh, I'm fresh out of therapy and I actually did cry today.
I'm sorry, Hey, here's something. What a journey I'm on talking to another friend about EMDR and I'm like, I gotta just do it. I really got to just do it. I straight up no no, no, but I'm to bring it up. I did bring up to my therapist who specializes in kindemy therapy. I was like, do you think I'm a good candidate. He was like no, Like what you're going through is like pretty normal at this point, like you've come a long way since last year when I had like a bad moment and he was just like, that's not your thing, and but I did. I did have to, like inspired by Orna, I was just like, just tell me what's going on. I need you to tell me what's going on with me. And he was like, Okay, here's what I'm thinking and whatever. But EMDR, I think I think I'm gonna look into it.
Give it a shot, because honestly, I had a breakthrough every single time. I didn't do it. Today. I just did regular talk therapy today because there was a lot to talk about and a lot going on, not just in the macro but in the micro and yeah, it was good. But I am therapy is forty minutes away from me, so I drove the forty minutes there, forty minutes back here, and now I have to do the hour to lax the hour back, and I guess the good news is. I will be streaming joy Ride by Kasha the entire time because what I am happy about is the fact that it's absolutely smoking woman's World on the charts. So victory for Kesha. By the way, Kesha, you were amazing. We hope Pride.
She's a great TED talk up too.
Oh, I saw that. I read that the alchemy of pop.
The alchemy of pop. It's great. She she can hear it to scuba diving because she liked scuba dive.
Yeah, that was a good Ted. I'm happy you watched it. Yeah, I watched it too.
Yeah. Stream toy Ride stream Charmed by Claro. Fantastic new album.
There's another song I really like, too wish I wanted to tell you about which it is. No, it's not real, but I did see that you are posting that, and I will. I will get into that. It's actually it's very Lana coded. It's called Summer Song by Remy Bond.
Oh.
Check it out.
Okay, girl, thanks for the rat.
I put it on my Big Beautiful Blonde Summer playlist. It's the last track. Anyways, we're still in it. Well, I love your sister, have fun going to lax, Stay safe, girl, Love you, queen, I can't believe I have to do that.
I'm sorry, but it's almost over. Our Long National Nightmare is almost over.
Should this episode be called Long National Nightmare? I oh, I don't know that long Long International Nightmare.
I claimed an earlier title of that, which was that this is the reason, this is the reason, this is the reason. Okay, this is the reason we got to give that woman her flowers because that was that was an iconic delivery.
Should it be this is the reason parentheses Long International Nightmare? Like it's a song?
Yeah, this is the reason parenthesis Long International Nightmare. All right, Well, the end every episode with the song.
It's a moment.
Just kidding, just kidding.
No song this week.
Bye, last Culturati. This is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and I Heart Radio Podcasts.
Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Executive produced by Anna Hosnier and Hans.
Sony, Produced by Becka Ramos, edited mixed by Doug Bammami Flaboard and our music is by Henry Escape
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