Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang“My Fourth Time on Las Cultch” (w/ Julio Torres)
It's finally that time: Julio Torres has come back on the podcast. For the 4th time? You tell us! They unfold a world of Disney, fitness classes instructors subtweeting you to your face, dinner party etiquette (do not invite Julio!), the unpretentiousness of OMG Fashun, and how to use the bathroom at Animal. The sisters also take time to re-name Matt while also taking time to acknowledging that seeing a film at Sundance is a mess. It's an important episode because Julio is BACK (for the 3rd time??? Hard to say!) And of course, three engaging IDTSH's! Get into it! Fantasmas (on MAX) & Problemista (in theaters & VOD) are both out now so WATCH THEM NOW!
Look mare, Oh, I see you my own bone. Look over there is that culture. Yes, wow, lost culture ding dung. Lost culture is calling take any breath, exhale, inhale, excel. It's obviously you first have to inhale the exhale. That's actually really culture number eight. You first have hail to. Breathing is really fundament. Breathing has really.
Saved my ass in recent times. And I feel like I need to really dig into this. I am like out of breath, I'm like tight in the chest.
Why oh, I'm so happy you're saying this public leap because now we can all watch it. Because you can't trust someone to watch their own health. We all need eyes on Boone Yang's chest and lungs. Please.
Hey, my chest is down here and it is really tight and tense, and I just need to like get it loosened up, you know.
And this is really hot what you're doing. Bowen's rubbing his titters and sort of being very orgasmic about this. Do you actually feel lately that you're breathing and like stuff is different.
Yeah, something's going on. The body keeps the score and no it's not this. Our guest is making a little cigarette motion. It's not that I am in Canada and maybe that has something to do with it. Although I'm at the same sea level, I'm at the same No, it's this, most of my life is still the same.
It's not that you now what I'm going to say right now, which is such a wife thing to say, as I'm going to say this to our guests and to everyone listening. Well, he knows how I feel about the cigarettes. The cigarettes are not really figuring in anymore. Can I say something? There was a deal that we made years ago, and I periodically bring this up because it is important and it is sort of indicative of you not holding up an end of a bargain, which is that when I started therapy, you were going to stop smoking. That was the But then guess what what COVID happened. Everything changed, COVID as an excuse, COVID happened, and now all bets are off. Is that was that in the fine print of the verbal agreement that deal? Well, I'll just say for my health, therapy has been amazing, and I think not smoking would help you feel less like your chest was locked up and you couldn't breathe. That's just me, though, how did this?
I just wanted to remark on how I've been breathing. I've been more aware of my breathing lately, and all of a sudden, and.
All of a sudden, it became antagonistic. And obviously your problem is due to stress. So why am I piling on? You know what I mean? It's okay, you know what this is why it can't just be me watching this. It has to be all of us, the community. We have to watch on one young self because I clearly can't be trusted. We have to watch each other. This is a mutual weight network. At the end of the day, we were speaking of watching. We were saying, just before we got on with our guests, we were talking about Disney for a hot sec did you see this? For you did it? But did you see this? Are you aware of the four hour video review of the Star Wars Hotel that this girl posted where it's just the most thorough dragging of the Star Wars hotel from every single hated it. So she basically was like, she's this girl. Her name is Jenny Nicholson. She's like a YouTube video blogger of blogger, I guess, and she her thing is niche fandoms, theme parks and immersive experiences. That's like what she that's her whole bag, and the three of those converge at Disney. And also she's like a Star Wars freak. She's like really super smart and adorable and like she like has a big following, and she's very very, very detailed and clear about her experience at the Star Wars hotel, which she said cost over six thousand dollars for two people. It was a two night hotel stay. It was immersive, and you got to watch it on like one point seventy five or times two speed because it is so thrilling, like get on a StairMaster, open up and you will be walking at a pace you've never walked before. Like it is a thrilling watch. I never thought it would be. People were sending me this like have you seen this yet, and I was like, listen, I'm not this far gone and then cut to me like soaking in all of it. It was a blow by blow dragging of this experience which is now closed by the way.
This is giving me like I didn't know my husband TikTok or the right, Like I didn't know my husband well this girl is.
Nominated for a Cultural Award for this show. But anyway, it was just so unreal to think about just how crazy it is, like how far gone it is, Like because she was saying, like, you know, a lot of people might think like it's like the super rich people that are buying tickets to this like actually know her experience is. It was a lot of middle class people who clearly had splurged on this vacation because they thought Disney is you know, when you say the word Disney, you think of this like experience of like luxury and excellence, and like they're this brand, like you're gonna get something out of But it fools middle class people because you get there and it's like, all right, you're cooped up in a hotel with no windows. It is the hotel rooms were size of boxes, and it's like an immersive experience in that like there's like characters walking around, but like none of the things are really playable. She just it's a really worth while watching it. I sat there with my mouth open. I was like, this is so crazy. I can't wait. Can I ask an insane question? Yeah? Was I supposed to be talking? This is what your third fourth time on the podcast. I know, wait, how does it wait?
Like you introduced me and then I talked, So the way it works is, yeah, that's okay how it works. Okay, I'm sorry, Pretend I didn't do that. Sit tight for like ninety more seconds.
Yeah, thought, yeah, I will talk later, Okay, okay, Yeah, that thing about you talking is going to come in a major way in a second. Now, whose voice was that? I don't know, problem voice, Fantasma.
This is a very good friend, a very special guest, a true true artist, pioneer, a pioneer you might know his lovely work, most recently in his directorial debut, Problemista. I wanted to give it the title my first movie. And I think a filmmaker has called her first movie my first Oh no, it's a musician is calling her first album my first album or.
Something that doesn't work as well for me. I think my first movie is so much more, so much bigger, you know what I mean? And that's why the title of episode so far for this is my fourth episode of Lost Culture.
My fourth episode of Lost Culture. But I mean, I mean, don't you can't you picture like two women at a nail salon and then one of them goes, what are we doing tonight? We're gonna go see my first movie.
You know, so many different ways. But when you were read, think in there, why do I really want to take your advice? I think it wasn't him. I think it was the twenty four, the suits at A twenty four. Blame the suits, is what I always say. I think about that with the Disney Wars, Disney World Star Wars, Disney Roo, Blame the Wars. Disney's starting girl, iiger come at us now.
He has a new show coming out on HBO called is it HBO or Max? I guess it's Max?
Right? No, no, no, not yet, hold on, hold on, you know what, well, let him tell us where it is. No, no, no, it is coming out on He's having to look it up. It's coming out on HBO June seven, HBO Prestige. Come on, it's garbage.
No, of course, garbage on Max. This is fantasmis a really star studded cast. It'll be I can't wait to see it. I have a shirt that says fantasmis Hadad's Trucks, New Jersey, and it is one of my favorite shirts. I love that shirt. Thank you fantastics for giving me.
That not your first shirt but your favorite shirt. No, no, no, Should we bring him in so we get some of that famous talking for sure? All right, here we go. Everyone, welcome. He's in the studio. Hey, I just got here. You've arrived. Can I say in a Broadway? You have arrived in a Broadway? Oh? Oh in a Broadway? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, not in a Broadway like I you haven't stopped the board. I have certainly not arrived in Broadway, but in a broad sense. Yeah wow. Any interest in Broadway? No, in performing in broad Broadway? No, in performing in Broadway. No, that sounds so difficult. Like would you would either of you ever like fully be on a play? Yeah? Do you do it? I would do it? I would you would do it? Okay, Wow, Okay, I think it would. It would really depend on on what it was on the text. I've seen some one with like Solo Show was like Jody Comer was in this play last year on probably called Prima Facie, which is just her doing a continuous, long monologue and like the subject matter was really intense and she was very physical in it and it was just her and she never leaves the stage. And I was just like, I don't understand that. But in a way where I could walk in and like say a little as we call him the best zinger and then leave, I would I would love it. I'd love to do money. Yeah.
Yeah, we are actively seeking zinger parts. If there are any singer parts in Lempika, Matt Rodgers will take it.
Wow.
Now, like let's say you, let's say with each of us, and really, let's just say, for the purposes of this thought exercise, you are on a Broadway show and the three of us are on different Broadway shows, or maybe it's the same one, it doesn't matter, but each of us just have to come in twice per act and do our basinga, do our bazinga, and then walk out. Right, what are we doing in the dressing room? How are we passing the time? Are we like being so disciplined? Are we playing video games? Are we reading?
I mean, you know that it would start with, oh, I'm going to write the thing in the dressing room because I actually like have like four hours to kill I'm going to write I'm gonna like do this, and then you just end up scrolling on your phone.
Damn. I wouldn't be on a show. I would write a show.
But the idea of like being there every night night seeing now like our friends do it and Oh Mary, I'm like, whoa, that looks so hard.
It's a lot. I think that I would be pacing and socializing, which would be even more tiring, because I know, socializing with who if you're like with that stage, like like anyone with the audience. No, certainly not, because they're going to go outside and be like, hey, hey, what do you think of the play? I'm about to be in? It donna get really good. It's gonna get really good. It's gonna get really good once I come on. No, but that's how I tend to like do my downtime. But bo, when I think you would really literally be reading and laying on your back.
Yeah, I'd be reading and land on my back. But with our friends who are doing Oh Mary, do you see firsthand what and pat it's having on their social lives, because that's the thing that we the three of us, kind of care about. I think I think, can I go out?
But can I go out? Okay, I'll take it, but can I go out? Can I go to three dollar Bill? Can I go to three dollar Bill on a Wednesday, Animal for the first time.
Can I go to Animal for the seventh time today?
I don't know.
I think Cole does the play and then goes home and recharges as the sense that I get, yes, But obviously Cole is carrying the show, and James becomes very disciplined, very like school night, like right, go home to care and then like errands in the morning, and then like play.
How does he feel about going into the summer on Broadway literally on Broadway, literally on Broadway? But I know he I know that boy loves his summer.
That boy loves his summer, but he loves working getting to do his work. More so, he did not mourn the lack of free time for a second.
I don't think that's good. That's perfect. Yeah, I mean twelve weeks only you're gonna have a summer, right, I mean, what what is that? Is that the last? But it's like right in that right in the in the peak of summer. You know what, though? It can I say something, It's not a fucking about him, Okay, it's about the people in the audience getting to it's about It's not about him. It's about the it's about. It's about the fans that traveled internationally to see. Oh, Mary, so I don't want to hear it about jams.
I mean that's Broadway, right, people do travel to for this. Oh, that's like usually this show.
Yeah, this is international appeal, it's an international figure, Mary Todd. I know they'll learn about American history. They do exactly, So why so, James? But you know what this is pathetic. I don't know if you knew you would you would come on here and that we'd be in a fight with James. Wait, but I just said that he didn't care though.
No, it's not roll back to putting words in my mouth. You are putting words in my mouth typical you.
No one ever said, I'm like the wall is red and you're like, whoa, why is it blue? Because it's color blind? I'm colorblind? Honey. Wait, this always comes up.
I feel like I always like I feel like I'm always microaggressing on your color blindness.
Wait, do you want to know where I just pictured you? And I laughed a lot. Wait to myself just now, I think that I would be so upset. I would be so upset the entire time.
Things that are like hyper curated and hyper regimented when they want you to have like a very immercific paint by numbers or immersive experience. I it's I'm so allergic to it. I just took okay, wait, I just took a every now and then, Okay, every now and then I will take a group fitness class of some sort because I like that there's a time where I have to go do it, and I know when it ends, and I'm not going to spend the whole day thinking I'll go work.
Out in an hour and then another and then you know what I mean, is this.
Generally group fitness classes? Are you talking about one specific group.
Talking about one specific group class? Okay, okay, okay.
And I felt like I was scolded for not having enough energy.
That's probably true.
I felt like, I mean, not scolded, but definitely like the teacher said, guys, the point of group fitness is to feed off of each other's energy.
Hmmm, and then looked at me.
Oh, and then said something that I thought was so telling. She like accidentally opened a window into her psyche. She said, you can make noise, heer, I'm not your mother or your wife. Oh I see okay it, but see, I think another reason you go there is to observe, to observe, you like observing.
I do love observing. I do love observing. So then you being scholded, you're saying every I wasn't scolded. That's a big word. But it was like this motivation that feels aggressive, and it takes you a second because this motivation that feels aggressive. Yeah, you're like, I'm definitely gonna do what you said, but like also it's just like mm hmmm mm.
But I'm gonna do what you said, but you can't command me to feel any sort of way about it.
I turn this thing up, but I'm not gonna my energy might still be bad. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
And okay, so you know what I also hate when this negative energy I'm bringing into this beautiful bock.
No, it's perfect. Well, after this, you're going to say something you love. Okay, yeah, after this, I'm going to say something animal, animal to a bar, animal, great drinks, hot guys. Perfect me say.
No, I don't like it when, like you know, when like a friend makes a meal. First of all, dinners in general, don't invite your dinners. Don't let me eat alone in peace when a friend makes a meal and then there's that very performative like, oh wow, that that was really great, and then everyone that goes, oh yeah that was really yum. Yeah yeah, oh thanks thanks, Yeah that was great. That was really ye me thanks, thanks, And it's like it just feels so like performative because then it's like then I chime in and I'm like, yeah, thank you, that was so great, but it's like I didn't get to say it at my own time, right, Oh, It's it's sort of like okay, and now is the part where we express great.
It's like it's so like systemized. You feel there's no way for you to be genuine yeah about the way in which you've enjoyed the meal and the degree to which you have enjoyed it. Once other people have sort of started the.
Sty like, now is the moment when you do it. It's like a standing ovation exactly exactly. But are you Are you a fan of those? How do you feel about standing ovations?
I'm not. I'm not a fan.
I don't think I've seen you ever stand for a standing ovation. And that's okay, what's the uh the State of the Union address? If you zoom in I'm there sitting. Oh yeah, that's true. I stand, I stand, I rise.
You rise.
But I see when you were talking about dinner, I thought you were going to bring up how someone makes dinner, yeah, and then sets it down, everyone eats it and everyone.
Goes, oh, that was really good. That was really good.
And then what I thought you were going to say that annoyed you and the performance was.
What's in it? Or how did you make it? I don't want to know. I don't care.
No, it's not it's about the person who made the dinner, and I do this. I'm guilty of this. I go, oh, that's it's fine. I kind of I didn't if I didn't have this agreed. I didn't really you know, like like when you start to apologize. Oh, but that's you in general, though, that's you in general. You don't like compliments.
But is that not a performance? Oh it is a performance? Oh? Yes, performance. Yeah, that's why I'm with you. Like I love to go out to dinner with a bunch of people. I think that's great because it's like it's not we can all agree. Oh that was so good, Like it's not about us. No one's like put on the spot at that moment. Yeah. Also, the thing with dinner parties is I don't know how to say this. No matter who you are, your food is not as good as a restaurant's food. Like your food, no matter who you are, if you're cooking the food at your house, it wasn't as good as a restaurant. You're not a restaurant. You're not a restaurant, so you'll never be a restaurant because if you are trying to be a restaurant, you made this once today, yeah, one hundred percent. And also it's like I could tell you only made it once today. At a restaurant, they're making these things upwards of nine, ten, eleven, twelve times. Yeah, it's time to get it right. To get it right isn't tried and true? Yeah? Oh so not for nothing. I go to your house, like the silverware is it clean? Oh? Stop? At what restaurant? I don't trust other people's homes and cooking. And if I have to do that, it's like know that I'm not being genuine when I'm like enthusiastic about it, that's me doing my classic Matt Rogers performance of enthusiasm. Wow, because I'm not where else do you perform enthusiasm everywhere I go? Everywhere I go? I'm like, and what is the emotion you wish you could showcase? Surely? Oh, I'm just kidding. I'm actually I'm happy to be everywhere that I go, and I really do enjoy.
The way you backpedaled immediately into your performative joy. It's okay to be It's okay to be surly sometimes.
The bottom line is, I would rather be at a restaurant always, always. Now that's the T shirt I would instant always always, thank you. We should put that on merch. We should.
But nothing we've talked about and covered so far, Julio, disqualifies Disney World for you.
Nothing.
Wait, what do you mean, Like, I think you would still go and enjoy it. Not that Star Wars hotel, but I think you would stay in like definitely not an overnight experience.
Fine. Have you ever done an escape room? No? Coolio, I think you might like that. An escape room?
Yes, you know who likes with the little games. You know who We did an escape room with recently, our mutual friend George.
Yeah. We had a great time with George doing an escape room and he loved it and it was. It was his very first one. We went in Hollywood and he had a wonderful time in the escape room and then left even saying, this is a big part of my whole deal.
Now, wow, I think I don't want to prescribe an open mindedness, but I think you can be curious if you want. Unless you if you've ruled it out, I can't stop you.
No, I'll try everything once. Okay, hmmm, except for most foods. Well, that's different. The seam would matter. I think. Yes, there's different themes like saw like, not all of them. You don't do this well okay, no, no, no, no, no. You're thinking about haunted house, you're thinking of thin house, and you're thinking of scary escape rooms. But there's some that are like I mean, remember the one we did in Brooklyn that was themed to like it was Chinese. It was Chinese. It was what were you escaping a Chinese room? It was It was a tiniest curse. It was fun. It was a very fun escape room. Though. Yeah, but are you good at like puzzles and are you good at like yes, you are. No, I'm not gonna use the box.
He famously thinks very outside the box, and like what if I made a dress with a box.
That's thinking outside the box, thinking about not even what goes in the box, what the box is gonna wear. That's thinking outside the box.
Wait have you seen OMG Fashion? No, I need to start with Julia Fox.
Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no, we need to start. It's really fun. Okay.
Basically, it's like the episodes are like twenty minutes perfect and three people come and then she's like, make me a dress out of this plastic bag, and then they come back and then she's like I like that one the end, and it's so entertaining watch Julia. Julia, Yeah, very unpretentious.
Uh, it's so a pretentious.
Well that's that's the thing about Julia Fox that I think she gets better than anybody, which is make it inviting and yet also like so severe and so like from somewhere, but like make it like unpretentious.
Yeah. I told something to Uh.
I was doing I was doing press for your favorite my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. But and you know how you go and then they like put you in the clothes and they take the pictures.
It's called the photo shoot.
And I said something that like the stylist or like one of the not the set, but like the the someone that was working with the stylist looked at me like what because I said I don't. I was like there was They were showing me like clothes that were like really nice clothes, like Lueve or whatever, and I was like, I don't want to be aspirational.
Uh huh.
I don't want for anyone to see this and think I should spend money on clothes.
Yeah. Yeah, And then it's like you could feel like the blood vessels yeah, because it's literally it's literally literally the whole, literally the whole. They'thing with you. Yeah. Yeah. I think that if I'm that person, like what that could feel like to me is like a superiority thing. But I think that that's just your truth is like you don't want to be a part of that. It's not the way that you dress, it's not what you like represent and stand for. So it's not it's not even just like I'm better than fashion and this person shrivels in turns stand.
And I love fashion, But I think like ideally, like someone would see a picture and be like, lol, oh my god, I should go get a plastic bag and like make a scarf out of it.
I needed at the way that eye patch, Yeah yeah, because I saw us wearing a luiv eyepatch and I want a looiv eye patch. Now wait did I No? I'm just saying that you would hate that if anyone were to ever say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and I yea that's fun at least, So like a luayve eepacks that costs like ten thousand but like five yeah exactly, which probably it would right something. Probably don't know what the price point is.
But this is the thing about Julia. Not to keep talking about Julia, but she wears things that like no one would ever think to wear.
She's wearing things that are not aspirationally. Yeah, here's what it is.
I hate like operating and wearing things that have been like preapproved by committee that everyone has like decided, oh this is good because yeah, you know the whatever magazines decided that this was good.
So yeah, you are wearing this like check mark yes.
So you would never do the mac dala because that literally is one person an a winter going down the list of being like Julio can't wear this, he has to wear.
This, which I didn't know yeah, I didn't know that either. Every single person.
Imagine having a party where you tell people that's literally a wedding, right, that's what they do the bridal party.
Yeah, it's like we're all wearing this horrible color.
But also like you can't like if you were to show up to like a very traditional wedding in like jeans and a T shirt, Like people would say something, I don't go to weddings either, right right, I think they would.
But that's also going away. You send me your wedding invitations going straight to the tracks. Wow, you heard it here first. But I'll send a text. I'll send he's not coming to dinner, he's not coming to your wedding. Yeah, and he's not coming to your met gala. Sorry sorry, no, those three things. Let's talk about animal. What to we love about it? Are we so happy? Are we sponsored by animals? We're not. Let's just it's the big for the community in Brooklyn. Yeah, has taken the community by storm. Can I say it? We definitely need to figure out a bathroom situation, and we can't and won't because there's no way to it. Sort of is what it is. It's that one bathroom thing. And it's got like a trough and there's like at any given time if it's busy, like, I don't know how you pee in there without getting pe shy. And that actually became a big conversation amongst people that I was there with. It's like you wait in line and then you get there and it's like there's so many people behind you waiting, and also you're right on top of other people. And I don't really deal with pea shyness, but then an animal I was like because it was a topic on my mind and because the space was so small and cramped, like in terms of peeing. And by the way, we love the establishment. We've been to the establishment many times. I'm just talking about the bathroom and this phenomenon. I left not having peed because I was like, no, I don't know how you do that in there. I don't know how you do that in there.
You couldn't emotionally access a part of you that would be comfortable enough to pee literally.
And what did happen was I went outside and pee on the street. It's okay, everyone, don't people do it all the time? Like I went outside and peede on the street, and it was no problem. It flowed out of me like truth. Oh my interesting because he didn't feel the need to perform there. Yeah, it wasn't even about feeling the need to perform. It was like feeling the immediacy of performance, like you must pee now, like because you regrets having a lot of time here. I regrets Animal.
Okay, you heard it first. And Animal is fun, but it will make you regress. Yeah, and I actually do think that that's true.
Like, while I think it's a really fun establishment, I have comments about the bathroom and the fact that everyone I've ever seen there is regressing. Oh wow, my god. Wow.
Well, can I ask is that when you say single bathroom, is it like one person, single person occupancy in theory, or is it like one place for everyone to go to pee in the trough?
I'm talking about the bathroom and Animal that trough like the one where it's like there's like, I guess Bowen doesn't know what the bathroom Animal. I guess you've never even been there before.
I've been to Animal. I have just never had to use the bathroom there.
Yeah. Same, Actually you've never had to peet Animal. I guess you're always kind of like in and out.
I guess, but I also like, no, I don't know why. I think it's just like a weird coincidence. I have no qualms with using a public restroom.
Yeah, I mean neither. I see what's happening here. I see what's happening here. What's happening One's hey, no, one's how to get you. You guys are the two gay faces of that other bar portraits, And so y'all are trying to poison the minds of the gay community in Brooklyn. You guys are the faces of the gay community in Brooklyn. You have big portraits up in what's it called Macre Park. No, No, not that way, It's called the Rosemont. There are huge portraits.
And okay, wait, hold on, but I I would like to know Matt, that this is the second time that you have said something bad about some express a negative opinion and then attributed it to us because you were just dragging the bathrooms at Animal and Bowen said, I've never used the bathroom an Animal, and then he said, oh, you're dragging Animal, Yeah, he was.
This is my whole thing. By the way, you haven't even let me talk about the bathrooms at Rosemont, which are also not good enough, right, right, But there's no gay bar where the bathrooms are good enough. They're not good enough at Metro, they're not good enough anywhere. Like it's like, it's just it's the charm. It's part of the charm. Part of a Brooklyn gay bar. Charm is like you're gonna have a bad time going to the bathroom. M it's the doing drugs in the bathroom. It's that that makes it a problem.
It's like grow up, like, grow up, like do them outside?
Well, there's they're basically like at the door to animal. I'm just giving everyone out there that maybe isn't like a Brooklyn gay person an experience there. You'd walk up to the door and it's the only door I've walked up to where the person at the front runs through a spiel before you're allowed in.
It's like, it's definitely not the only place. And that's a very New York thing.
Did a very different thing, Okay, honestly, Julio, it is very experientially. It really feels like a Disney pre showing like you belong in Orlando, Florida. That's where you belong.
Wait, but I don't think i'd heard I don't think i'd heard the speech, and I animal what is it.
It's basically like it's like no jugs in the bathroom, like and then there's like a joke about like where you could do it, and then like you know, there's like yeah, have fun.
Yeah, it's giving flight attendant. Yeah, miss door has a routine. Miss door has a routine, and that's seventy seven. Miss door has a routine. Yeah, miss door has a routine.
Anyone doing security at any bar from now on is they're not security. They are missdoor. Missdoor. Border patrol is miss door. They're the door, missus door. What do you what are you doing in the United States?
All right, miss door, it's giving miss door.
Are carrying more than ten thousand dollars in cash? Okay, miss door? Are you missdoor? Yeah? Oh look it's how much looking for sugar? Didding this door? What do you think they would do? Be so confused and probably take us all away. I mean, like, I don't think I don't think they have a sense of humor down there at border. I mean I think they have to suppress it. They do. If they think it's funny, they won't show. Yeah, they won't show. They definitely won't show.
They definitely won't show. But the border people in Canada I got here, they are not Canadian in behavior and manner.
And they are not being kind and welcoming. No, they're really drunk on power. I'm gonna say it, Wow, do you have a Canadian passport? No? No, It's funny.
I showed up like I had my work permit like form, and then I got there and they were like, you don't need to be here. I was like why. They were like, you're in the system, like you're at you're a citizen. I was like, oh yeah, and then I.
Went you forgot you were a Canadian citizen. I forgot that.
I thought work permit just meant like you needed to have that no matter where you went, like it just didn't matter what nationality. I'm just so stupid. I take all these things for granted, but didn't need it.
You're not. I don't think you're stupid at all. I think you had a moment. Let me say something. I think you had a moment. You just had to lapse.
You have a lot on your plate and you can't keep track of all these things. I know you have to give yourself some grace.
Thank you. Yeah, I do think Boon Yang, I'm going to say this to you publicly. I do think it is hire an assistant time. This is so interesting because assistants are on the brain. Yeah, they should be. I think it's time for you to hire an assistant.
We have a cast assistant. So on Canadian sets they have a cast assistant.
Oh okay, and we.
Have one person whose name is James. He's wonderful, different than a different than a PA, and so he just is for whatever, principles whatever. I hate the hierarchy thing, but it's like, principles, get a cast assistant. And then he was just like, what do you like to drink? And it was like it's like I'll stock your fridge. I was like, oh, diet coke and celsius. And then I showed up the next day and it was full and it was like.
Die cocon celsius. This is d to be careful with the celsius. Oh. I know. That's sort of what an assistant does though, and they can also do things that aren't just like elective and like this will be fun to have diet coke, Like that'll be amazing, even though it is like something you asked for you should have the diet coke. It's like, but that feeling was amazing. I know. But think about this, like, now you can have a person that like responds to the emails you don't want to respond to, pays certain bills like you know, like gets on top of things. I just feel like you're a prime candidate for one. We'll see, we'll see.
Well, what are the names of the fictional assistance And you know, way back in the day, hantsen clst Hants and Celeste. Now have those names changed in sort of what they mean to you now that we all know and are very close to a Celeste in our lives. Speaking of course about celestim.
Oh, that's so interesting because the name is a little bit more real now, right, Like it's not this I never thought about that. You create this name for this idea of this person, and then all of a sudden there comes the real person. Well no, because Celeste is so different than no. Of course, the idea of Celeste, which that's what I call greta titleman's character.
Yes, in the movie, Uh, the idea of Celeste. Now that's a title because.
The idea of Celeste is Greta Titleman, and Celestim is not the idea of celest No, no, they are their own person. Of course I'm riding hard for this train. This is because Greta Titleman is Celeste.
Yes, yes, she is celest in concept. Yeah, but I do think about this quite often. I do draw this, I connect these dots in my mind. Whether I'm with Celestim or not, I go. My only other encounter with the name Celeste has been with a couple other Celestes in real life. But mostly I think about Celeste like Julio's fictional assistant intern. I'm sorry, intern, And now I feel like what I've noticed is paid unpaid intern. What I've noticed is Julio has now move moved into the realm of made up names, fictional names, names.
That are oh my god, yeah, I love It's my favorite thing to do. Yeah.
Is there any sort of like switch in that, Like do you feel like that's there's truth to that statement of like you feel like, in order to like further filter out from reality, you go, let's make up these fictional names, bibo and put it on the pinat and like all these like these names.
Yeah, well, creatures are funnier when they have fake names. I think, of course.
I think that's the general rule, of course, because then they become more like unplaceable, I guess, and.
They also get an inner life immediately immediately.
Yeah, like the learning curve for people to know how to spell purely.
And and pena is always funny. Yeah, I think I can spell it. Go ahead, P I are you m L I M and P m hm. I You're so close? And yeah I an a yeah, thank you. Yeah that was really good. Wow, that was very good. Thank you. Now names Matt is a big name person. I was just thinking to myself, like, what's your favorite name? Beginnings Chang. Beginnings Chang is like such a beginning name and like pop culture history for me, like beginnings Chang. Like that's wait, I'm so sorry. Can you fill me in on who beginnings is? Go ahead, Bowen whose Beginnings Chang?
Deep House Dish, which is the sketch that James Anderson wrote on est and else the ear the King of the King of Fake Names, Jen Jen Binks and I'm jen Jen Binks and I'm Judged Binks. But when my Rudolph posted us and now she Beginnings Chang is like stuck in her brain like beginnings, chang is stretches generations, you know what I mean?
Absolutely. I was sitting here thinking to myself like, just like, do you feel like the concept of your name? And I was like, I don't. Her names are Matt Rogers and Julio Torres. Do you feel like the concept of your name? No, I don't.
I don't, But would you name yourself probably like a little sound of some kind. Well, actually I met someone who had a kid named Inti int Inti Inty. That's so which I was like, Oh, I wish I were an Ethy.
I always want my name to be like Lyda, like l e E d A Rida Lida, Like isn't that so beautiful? Like that is so beautiful, elegant you're making your elegant face. I love Natralia. I love like Leilani. I love like you're el Lelantra. I love beautiful sort of like ethereal feminine name like LORELEI my favorite friend And now I'm not letting everyone know they were not. My favorite friend in high school was named Laurenn l O r I e n n E Laurien. Wasn't that good? Wow? I was just like, how do you get a name like that? Because no one I grew up with had one. Everyone was Amanda, everyone was everyone ever, everyone was right, especially Real Culture number nineteen.
Everyone was Amanda. But can I say, Matt, I think you, out of the three of us, embody.
Your name the most.
Yeah, Matt Rogers, it feels I think it feels really good on the tongue.
To say, and so to speak, I disagree.
I think that Matt Rogers sounds more serious than Matt the person. And I would say that Bowen is beautiful for you.
Yeah, I like Bowen. I don't know Yang. I'm like, I forget that that's my last name, but.
It counter it. It grounds the Bowen. Oh interesting my humanized as the Bowen.
Uh huh. I agree with you that Bowen is like it's got this like just like a beauty and a whimsy to it. But also, didn't you say it's quite a common Chinese name? Oh?
Really, Yang is very common, Bowen is is. It's pretty all Chinese names are very unique, Like it's like the characters are infinite.
But I like Bowen.
The Yang is something that I like forget about, which sounds weird.
Mm hm oh why is so pretty? Though, I like the why very pretty? Mm hmm.
I like why now letters that you guys want your so Matt wants an l leo.
I think you want like you want a que you want, I definitely want.
I would love a cue. I would also love an eye a lowercase I.
Uh huh, you have one.
I want more and for them to have more of a spotlight in the name, because right now, the eye in my name has a supporting role. The I in my name is very like would that be all ma'am?
You know in the scene.
Oh, but I need the eye to be a protagonist.
Oh my god, intyty, I'm gonna ask you. I'm gonna ask you a question. Yeah, can you name me? Yeah? I can hold on. Okay, Kevin Banks, Kevin Banks? Wait that someone already? But how is that so much different than Matt Rodgers? You know, Okay, okay, okay, but Kevin Banks. It just seems like if you want us to give me like a whimsical, silly name that you feel that's what I've earned. Kevin Banks. Okay, I'm looking at myself being like, am I Lance? Well you couldn't, but that's taken. But that's it is taken. There's another big gay lance. You can't you can't do that. I have a first name for you. I have a first name for you. Okay, ruly, ruly, ruly, rulyly do you think I should be named? Don't you want it? You want it an l and you wanted something interesting? You know what my name should be? Sorry to him Leland, I'm taking Leland. Worry to which Leland? There's a Leland songwriter and singer Leland. And that's a stage name. But it's a beautiful stage I don't think it's I don't think it's Leland. I think Leland is too too cookie for you.
Okay, so so sorry, So Matt, do you want a quote unquote like established name.
Here's my name, Philip Dunkret. No, no, what is no? You want to Philip dun dunk grit? You don't want to? No one, Philip Dunkret Like that's something that I'm using. Philip Dunkrit. What is dunkrit from? I don't know. I made it up. I made up a word. We're talking about. How that's fun? Okay, Yes, okay, I have one. I have one dustin Dallas, d Dallas. Though. Yeah, No, I think it's perfect for you. Dustin Dallas or like Duncan Dallas, don't Dallas. I like Dustin Dallas. Dustin Dallas. One of my favorite porn stars name is Dustin Dustin. What does he have a last name? Hazel? Dustin Hazel. That's a great name. I'm not familiar with Hazel sports. He's wonderful. Yeah, okay, check it out. I feel like both of you. I'm thinking of your output and your art and your work, and both of you, I feel like in your future, if not already, have like a gay porn type of story to tell through your writing or directing or what you mean?
You mean that like something we make will generate a porn spoof that we know.
Like what he's saying is he wants us to do only fans together. He's saying he wants us to start up a channel. He wants to watch us.
I can't open a small business, I like, I really, I do not have time.
It's so much admin work. I can't. I don't know how our.
Friends who our friends who have only fans And it's like the amount of time it takes to like in oct with people and it's just no, it's.
It is like a crazy hard job. I recently saw someone have like sort of a little bit of a breakdown, like it's this guy on only fans and I guess he got a message from someone.
And he put the breakdown on only fans. It was like, no, he didn't have a breakdown on OnlyFans. Although I have watched some people that I follow on only fans like postlong things about how like I have seen some people like really open enough about what the toll this takes on their mental health and stuff, and I'm like, God, then like, please take this to another platform or to another service, like not because I don't want to hear it, because I'm like, this is not You're not going to get what you need.
From your only fans followers. But maybe the transfer on Twitter the community would that's their time. I guess what I mean by take it to another platform is like take this feeling somewhere else to feel better about it, like therapy or like friends or something like that. But I did recently see someone that I follow on OnlyFans, who I also follow on Instagram sort of say that people in his dms get very familiar and sexual and treat them sort of like like garbage, like not a person. And he was saying, it's like this particular creator was like, I don't want to have sex with you and your boyfriend, Like I don't want if you're an open relationship, Like I'm not someone who wants to participate in that. That's my preference. And like, because of my job, it seems like everyone thinks they can talk to me crazy and like throw anything by me, and if I react in a certain way, it's like, oh suddenly they're like, oh fuck you, you're not as fun as I thought you were. Like, no, like you subscribe to.
Me, which is so childish to think that, like someone's job, right, is like how you should like interact with them when they're not. It's very like, no, honey, there's a human under Mickey.
Right exactly, Like you can't walk up and grab Mickey's butt just because Mickey the character is such as slut, you know what I mean? Like, right, as a human, I'm Mary Mickey is a big whore. But I feel like the two of you people waw friendship from the two of you.
Yes, And that's not a bad thing to like that is not a toxic thing to like that. That is so different from people not only fans, being like treated and talked and spoken to like chattel because it's completely sexual and whatever.
Like I can handle that. Yeah. The parasocial thing with us is like maybe sometimes people will talk to us like as if they know us. And what's funny is when they start doing it and they're like like one time, like someone came over to Bowen, I was like bitch and like yelled bitch and like it was like you can feel them feel in the moment, like he didn't know what the saga wars. He was like bitch flir. Yeah, sometimes it's like you could literally see in a moment people realize like, oh, I just talked to him, like I know him. I don't know him, but I think it's just you know, tales all the time. Totally totally fun.
I do feel like this is this sounds like such a naive discovery, but I feel like people who have followings will engender and reflect the things about them onto those people, like on a larger scale, does that make sense? Like perfect example is Sarah Sherman, Like her fans are people who sent her fan art and are so creative and so cookie and weird and silly and like that's because that's who she is. And like, I feel like, Julio, you invite people who are extremely like thoughtful and like are just like people?
What are you saying that? Like people like walk up to Sarah and be like, you want to see my sit and she does talk about that.
She's like people do also, Like I think we all have this thing of like anyone who has like an online or like a persona in one public facing way and then a private inner life, which is almost everybody like has this weird dissonant thing where it's like, oh but you think that, like You're able to bring that to me, and I'm supposed to like honor and appraise that in a way that you expect and it's.
Not exactly what it is, and it's not exactly what it is, Like I'm trying to find the right words. You found him. I did, But like people seem very measured with you who are talking to me.
Yeah, yeah, I don't think I've had any interactions that have made me uncomfortable.
Yeah no, there was one at my Christmas show where and I adore this person And if this person hears this and knows it's them or thinks it's them, like, just take it away from you. I'm just saying in an amorphous way. There was someone who came up to me once at one of my shows and said, I have to tell you, I hated you for a really long time. And I listened to the podcast and I hated you. I couldn't stand you. And then I realized I was you, and that why I hate it very powerful. And they go like, because when you are like too much, or you're annoying, or you say the thing that you shouldn't say, like I just I said I hate him, and then I realized, no, I hated myself. All the things about you that I don't like were the things I didn't like about me. And then they were like, and now I love you like I appreciate you, I respect you. You inspire me because I have learned to love myself. And I was just like sort of taking in it, and I was like, oh, like I get it, but like it's not. It's it's a lot when you're on the receiving end of it, because it's just like, oh, okay, like you're still hearing the words I hated you, you know, of course, and the reason it's why, yeah, and the reason. And I'm literally standing there like with the vinyls she had bought in my hands, like signing it like okay, oh my god, people waiting behind her.
I was like, Okay, what did you write? Not hating me anymore? I know I can't be too much winky face.
I'm knowing me. I probably wrote love you Mama xo x so Matt Rogers, you.
Know what I mean, Like Matt Rogers blocking in with a love your Mama, Love your Mama's lake Waite, love your Mama, Love your mama.
Love you mam x x Wow. But it's beautiful. Bowen. Yeah. What do you have anything to say to that person that called you a bitch? Robertson Niro? Do you want to say it's a miner? Robert? Robert was.
It was in the middle of a Tribeca Film Festival. Was his festival.
It is his festival to revitalize Anta New York, to revital to New York after nine eleven.
You know I was.
I was a volunteer for the Tribeca Film Festival twice when I was in college.
That's great. It must have been good enough for you to go back.
I just thought like, Oh, if I'm the best volunteer, they're gonna give me a job and I'm gonna got a visa. So I was just like doing I would do anything that people would allow me to do.
Yeah, but did you learn a lot about film? No, I'm not gonna learn it. No I didn't.
I was like a nuts shirt and a little Tribeca Film Festival t shirt.
That's the thing about going to those festivals. It is so hard to see anything. I don't even know how to wrap my head around like quickly. Yeah forgetting. I've been to Sundance twice. I've not seen a movie yet Sundance kidding just true.
You went last night, didn't you. You told me about things you saw last time you went.
Bib No, I've never seen a movie at Sundands. I had, and it was like, so the ticket is in a seat, like you know, you have to get here early. It's like any of the good stuff, like I couldn't even finaggle my way in with like connections. I was like, You're like, can I please watch a movie? I just wanted to watch a movie. Watch a movie. I got tickets to one movie, which was The Brooks Shields Documentary and I was excited about seeing it, but then you're at Sundands and it's like, oh so much. I'm like, you're so tired, everyone's so hung over the entire time, and we didn't end up going and there's like the Uggs Lounge or whatever, And I mean, when there's the Uggs Lounge, do you really have to go see a movie? You know what I mean? There's so much to do in the Uggs Lounge. Yeah, of Cocoa. They make that main street of park City so fun, like you don't ever have to leave.
I'm not a festival person. I must say I have a hard time with festivals. I think that Edinburgh really took it out of me.
Yeah, it's a tough one.
Well that's totally different from like south By, which you did for Problemista.
Yeah.
There, you just show up. You're not really doing anything. The movie is made and then but you're still promoting it. You're still like putting on a face to like talk about like the thing you made.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, you answer questions and yeah, I'm always like be likable, be likable, like God. To be likable, you don't have to try. You are.
You know, I was coming over here on my work over here. I was like, Julio, you gotta remember this time be funny. This time, you just gotta be this gotta be fine. I am always so I recessed to audience member often and I'm like, all these are funny and I'm enjoying it, and I'm like quietly like he and then I'm like, oh wait, no.
Well you couldn't wait to talk at the top. I know, I know, and I have to be charming and engaging so that people will consume my product hashtag press press.
Yeah, must be charming and engaging so that people consume my product. So to that point, I would hypothetically go to a wedding there.
Well, I was gonna say, to that point, i'd go to a theme park. I think, to the park. I love Christmas. I'll eat anything there love. Group Fitness was praised for my attitude celebrate it.
Even you're describing our lives, you're describing what we what we have to put ourselves through.
Yeah, fitness. I will say, the only thing about this is why people consume your product. I know it. Well. Well, then I'll say, okay, so here's the thing. Here's the other side of the coin, though, I am so enthusiastic about so many things that when I'm about things, or if I'm negative about something, people are like whoa, or they like react to it weirdly. But then I don't know. The comment. Recently, I guess has been like that we are like too many things.
Okay, wait, did you were you in a don't leave the table to you finish anything household?
Actually, my parents would not let me get up and leave the table unless my dinner was finished.
Yeah wow, yeah, see I was in a My mom would be like, if you don't want to eat something, don't eat it. Don't eat it, because if you ever do something that you don't want to do, it'll make you sick.
Oh my god. Yeah, that's actually very healthy.
I like my whole childhood just white rice and saltines because I was like, I don't like color.
Kela gives me a headache. White rice and saltines. Rice and saltines, please, I want to eat erasers. They looked so yummy. They do look real, yea, because you know what they look like, gum gum famously edible. But the big white ones, yeah, those those felt so good in the hand and it kind of. I just wanted to Yeah, when they were a little translucent.
Yeah, oh, which is your favorite?
I do? I do.
That's why I love tofu, just like open up a carton of tofu and eating it.
It's like eating rice is great, getting talked about enough as being one of the great things.
Can I make tofu for you guys for dinner and you guys don't have to and no one can say it's good?
Are you good at making it? Like I've never heard you say, I'm really good at preparing tofu? Babe.
I make a good mapo tofu, and I can make a good vegan version, and and you guys would both like it but not have to go through the whole sharade of saying, oh my god, this is so good. And I swear I will not ever ever once say oh it's I did my best in silence.
Yeah, well, because that's our genuine friend, and he's not going to be like, oh, I'm upset because they didn't tell me how good the food was, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, not like that. It's not like that. I will say. There's one person whose food is restaurant quality, and it is Dave Mazzoni. His food is restaurant quality. Wow, what is Dave feast? He'll just like I remember one time we were there, like years ago, yes, very that like rich Italian food, Like we were good Bowen. Do you remember years ago when we were at we were doing some meeting for popular Lette at Dave's house and then like out of nowhere, we didn't even smell it cooking. He just comes down with like so much lasagna and like Canoulli's and like like it was just like it was just like there was so much happening and we were just like, oh my god, and it was just like excellent, but Italians when you came up, So Dave sucks. Yeah, Italian food.
It is my understanding that when it's done very well, people really like it.
Oh what what are you not an Italian food fan? Oh? Man, Yeah, you don't need that. Not No, I don't. I don't not really. A lot of it has egg, cheese and butter. What is the current pop culture that you're consuming? Like, for example, have you hit play on the like Billie Eilo show Them at all? I have not hit play on the Billie Eilis album at all. What is the current pop culture that I'm consuming by current you mean like active, right, yeah, like four to question Mark, Yeah, twenty four to question Mark. Like what's out right now? Like what is the thing that's happening? You were like, I want to engage in that? Like I feel like I have been engaging. I have been. I'm engaging in OMG fashion. I what else? What else? What else? Perfect name? OMG fashion, It is the perfect name. I'm trying to like.
Really, anime is very daunting for me because there's so much of it, so I never really know where to start. But I have been watching the show Pluto, which I really have been enjoying it.
It's daunting, but it's quick. You watch it in like a day or two, because not a lot of them do more than one or two seasons, unless it's like your huge show and James and your boyfriend knows all of the good ones too.
He does, he does. But then like the suggestion list is so long.
I know, Yeah, you should watch Assassination Classroom, Assassination Classroom, him how to be Assassins.
But Okay, here's the thing I don't. I don't like bloody. It's not bloody. Can I tell you what the premise is any assassination in it? I think you're gonna like it. No, no, no, here's why. What's the truth? Well, here's the plot, and I'm okay, and I might put trip it. This is the plot.
An alien with a big yellow head m hm and like two small eyes and a smiley face like mouth has blown up half of the moon and the world is like, oh my god, what's happening? And then the alien where's the rest of the moon. Well, yeah, like, oh my god, the moon is gone? Like this is fucking up the grab like you know, gravity whatever, Okay, And then this alien goes down to Earth and takes over a school in Japan and becomes a teacher at.
That school gets staffed.
Well, he like takes over the school and becomes a staff member and staffs himself. As it were, the whole thing, the whole thing where parkt well, like, where's the like does teacher drag like dresses up like a teacher, but has like an alien face and head or whatever, and he's teaching a class full of students, like, has a class full of students.
He goes, if one of you can.
Kill me, the only way you can get the moon back is if one of you kills me, but like they all like try to kill him, but he always like thwarts them, and there's a reason why this all happens. And it's actually really well constructed story, Like I think you would both really like it.
Assassination school. That's an assassination classroom. Classroom. Okay, sound qunchy row. I'm bookmarking that not only for washing and enjoying, but also because it reminds me of I don't think so, honey, which we'll say in a second. But first I want to ask both of you if you have heard about this movie that just premiered. It can called The Substance with Demi Moore and Margaret Qually. Tell us I've heard the buzz, but I have not seen the movie. So this is I guess it's like it's this movie that one best screenplay I can. It like got like one of the longer standing ovations, which like they go off with standing ovations. They at the end they're like, you know, just like really time them. Yes. Yeah. And Lily Gladstone, who Bowen is working with now, was on the can Jury and I'm dying to find out what the tea was about watching this movie and what it was like, because apparently it's a thriller, right, yes, it's like a horror thriller, but really it's body horror. So it stars Demi Moore as an aging actress. She's like an Academy Award winning actress. And her name, just to give you a sense of the tone, is Elizabeth Sparkle, so she plays Sparkle. She's a former Academy Award winning actress who now does like fitness videos. So it's supposed to be like Jane Fonda. She's up in years ish, like Hollywood has told her she's fucking ancient. She's really in her middle age. Like she essentially gets like replaced at her job, which is doing this fitness you know, video, because they're gonna get like a younger person. She is told that she can start taking this supplement or this injection or whatever. It is called the substance, and what it does is it literally allows yourselves to replicate so that another younger, better quote unquote version of you comes out of your spine splits and the younger and that's Margaret. So basically the rule is the you that's younger has to like sustain and take care of the older body for a week while you go live your life as the younger, more vibrant thing. Then after a week, the older you comes to consciousness and has to maintain the younger body. So basically it becomes this story about essentially yes, but it's like the younger version apparently starts really feeling herself because she's young, beautiful in the world. Is about a lie. Yes, value that I am a human legs and eyes, yes, and sort of just like sorry, like like becoming a star in the younger body, but then goes to the old body and she walks around the around the world and basically like everyone's like like whatever, treating her like I guess to me more, you know what I mean, And she is unable to see that she's still valid in her older body. So the younger version starts to slip in terms of taking care of the older one. And the big rule of the movie is to remember that they are one organism or else things will be catastrophic, like no spoilers because I don't know how what happens, but apparently I know. Also remarkable that you have not seen this movie, I know, fascinated by it, like I've read so much about it because I also feel like I don't know if I'm gonna sit through it, So I'm consuming a lot of you because it was to talk of the beast way, what do you mean you don't know if you're gonna sit through because of what I'm going to say. Okay, I'm very squeamish too. And apparently the third act is the most intense graphic, sustained violent body horror like in cinema history since like The Fly, like in the late eighties with Jeff Goldbloom, like where his body essentially decomposes them, like because he turns into a fly essentially. So this movie was apparently had people like passing out and throwing up after watching it, but it was also very much in a while since we had those urban legends of ye people people like the movie. The last one in my memory was Passionate of the Christ and there was bloodletting. Oh my god, that's so funny. But apparently Demi Moore may even be up for an oscar because she is like apparently incredibly fearless and in the way that she acts this last act and also the fact that like she's confronting this thing that's been said about her for the majority of her career. She was you know, young people have been talking about her appearance, the way that she's you know, conceptualized in everyone's mind's eyes, like this idea of like cinematic perfection, and then that person got older, may have had worked done, et cetera. The entire like trajectory of her career has had this shadow of you know, the male gaze on it. And so for her to do this movie, I think she's getting a lot of like what apparently is well er in praise for it, and the movie won Best Screenplay at can because apparently it's just that bold. So that's like a Greta Gerwig jury right there. So I'm excited. What do you mean it's a Greta Garwig. Joe, she was the head of the jury.
Oh oh oh oh, I thought you were saying it's a great of growing esque jury.
No, yeah, yeah, I was describing the vibe. Just for her to preside over that jury and like, you know, her to be as like renowned and talented writer as she is, and for her to give that best screenplay I think is you know, it's exciting. Wow, Greta like.
Her vocabulary with like film history is like so wild. I'm like, oh, like, like I heard some of her feedback, like which was sharing thoughts. All of her quotes were like you know that it reminded me of the classical structures of it blah blah. But and I'm like, oh my god, like you really do know it all? Like where does one learn? What would your master class be on? If you had a master class, what would it be on?
Hmmm, fucking masturbating at the worst times of day? That would be my masterclass.
What's the worst that we got the meme from this episode? Yeah, what's the worst time that I say, like right before they need you on set?
Yeah? No, no, no, no, I like like four four pm. Oh yeah, yeah, no, that's pretty bad. I actually was ten minutes late to therapy because I like I had it at four and I like had to come at three fifteen pm, like something happened. I was like, I have to jack off. And then I got in the car and I was we had traffic because I have to go out the way to capacity and I was like, well, fuck this traffic. I'm like, no, fuck you because you had to jack off at three fifteen I do agree. It is the worst time. What was the name that I gave you? What's the name?
Because dustin dustin Dallas, that's in Dallas. Move right there.
I will tell you this, and I'm late. I had to come. This is this is something I will speaking of during the day, sexual behavior. I won't say who or why or what. But I was at one of those group fitness classes during the day a couple of weeks ago, and the instructor was so like hot and encouraging, and so it was in changing all of it, just like the best version of what that lesson is where I went home, got on grinder and message you went to cerebro in the middle of them in the middle of the day. I never do that. From now, from someone else, from someone else, very much about him. From it was, I must find the ideal surrogate, exactly the substance to fulfill my fantasy.
I must find I must find the boy, and if not, a surrogate will have to do.
A surrogate, did it? Or was that your your grinder name? I must find the boy, find the boy, or else a surrogate will have to do. And then I had a lot of you know, surrogates come forward, not a lot. I mean, do you think the surrogate you think you'll see the story get again? Actually? Yeah, this guy fucking really it was great. I actually was. It made me realize, like, huh, maybe sex during the day is the move. Oh I love it. Yeah, same, I think it's great. You know, I don't know. I just there's something about having sex in the daylight.
Oh the lighting and the lighting is great. The reason I say four thirty is you come and then if you get lucky later on in the night, then you're like, oh I I already a oh, I already ate, you know, and then it's like oh and then you kind of get some performing anxiety around that.
What a busy life. I think that's why I liked the daytime fuck because it was like, and now I don't have to even encounter the thing at night because I'm not looking for it to be disappointed at night, you know what I mean? Like I did that during the day and it was it went really well, so I don't have to feel bad about it later. Disappointed at Night another great title for something disappointed at night. For this episode, Disappointed at night, Disappointed at Night. That's beautiful. I think it's my fourth time on Lost Culture, says, my fourth time on Lost Culture. Sys. Is it the fourth time or is it the third time? Fourth? I don't. I don't know. I mean, canonically it's gonna be fourth. I guess because you were on once with Anna. You were on once. I member your first episode was iconically called yes dot dot Dot because we talked about I don't think that was my first episode. That was not your first episode. Really, I think this is fourth. I think this is fourth. Yeah, well it's fourth, no matter what. Okay, my fourth episode of Last Culture, my fourth episode? Should we do I don't think so, honey, Yes, oh god, I told me, okay, yeah, totally forgot this fourth. Okay, so this is Last Culture reached us, this big segment. I don't think so, honey. We do one minute, you know, t whirl on something that's not so great, and the aliens of it all actually reminded me. I woke up on the conspiracy side of the bed this morning and I've my eyes have been open to something and I really have to I have to alert the world. Oh my god, this is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey. As time starts now. I don't think so, honey, aliens existing. I'll tell you what it is if you don't think. My dad sent me a drone like light show. It was like a Star Wars droned light show and I was like, huh, you know what. This reminds me of those unidentified flying objects that are all around that no one can explain. It's like, I'm sorry, but things moving on naturally in the sky, they're drones. I'll tell you who has more money than even NASA. Elon Musk SpaceX is the reason why there are quote unquote aliens. There are no aliens. What they're trying to do and this is Elon Musk and I'm saying this, and there's gonna be a bounty on my head after I say this. I'm bravely saying it allows culture. Elon Musk wants us to believe that there are aliens so that he can start a war. We can have a comagenemy, okay, because there's nothing more powerful than a you creating your own army. He wants to basically convince us all there are alians so that we fear the external and he will control us this way. I don't think so honey, and that's one minute. Oh my god, that's how I feel. I don't think there are aliens.
I think it's SpaceX, your most Mary and Williamson coded thing.
Yet Oh I say that, I I I go anytime someone says Mary and Williamson. Does anyone feel that I'm Does anyone feel I'm right?
Well, I don't know if you're right, but I do. I do think that that is it's compelling.
Like I watched this drone show and I was like, wow, like a drone show. It was like a Star Wars speed like this guy. Yeah, Like it's it's like essentially replacing fireworks shows, so you're gonna see less and less fireworks shows as times. It's like, it's Sky Entertainment.
It's got okay another okay, that is the name of your LC.
Sky Entertainment. If it wasn't Basic Instinks, Inc. It would be Sky Entertainment. Isn't that a great name? Maybe my last name is Sky. Maybe I'm Dustin Sky.
Yes, oh, Dustin Sky's good. So it's like synch or nice swimming but with robots, Julio, That's exactly what that is.
Kind of cute. It is programmed Sky entertainment in the sky and basically they can control to do anything. And also then you don't have like the environmental issue of like the fireworks every single night, I guess because you're watching robots move around in the sky so basically, and they can do things that fireworks can't, Like they can create these designs and these lettering in the sky. Like what you can see they're capable of is like mind blowing. And I'm watching it and I'm like, I'm sorry, but who is out there still saying that there are aircrafts that move in ways that things can't move them, like there are drones in the sky that can do anything. Like why are we following this train of logic? I see your plant. It's like this helicopter went backwards and they don't do that. I have news for you. Yes they do when they're not helicopters, they're drone.
But Matt, how do you explain like pre elon Musk, like this was a phenomenon?
Okay, I don't think it was. Oh, I don't think it was the US. Yes, people always said UFO sightings, but none of them could ever be substantiated. Now, all of a sudden, we have quote unquote substantiated, like but classified.
A lot of these documents not we I just mean the government is they ask you, they.
Ask you to co sign. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like any bone signature. Well Bowen is Illuminati. I'm Illuminati.
But like I feel like this is this is slowly coming to the surface. But I respect and I agree with Julia.
This is compelling. I don't know that I'm following you completely. This is all you need to know any time you see something in the sky that's moving in like an unidentifiable pattern or like an unnatural way, the way that quote unquote birds don't move or quote unquote you know, aircrafts don't move. It's like you should just watch a Star Wars Drone show. Just watch it and then you'll understand that things very much do move like that.
Wait, I'm sorry when you say Star Wars Drone show, Yes, I do mean Disney if that's your question. Oh so this is at Disney very much so. And what makes it a Star Wars Drone show. It's it like they like form Princess Leah's face.
I'm just gonna show you on this, okay, because it's literally unbelievable. My dad send it to like he does all the time. So can you see this now? Look, Look that's a drone, that's not a firework that's supposed to mimic the two sons of Tachuine. And you'll see they're starting to drift slowly down as if the sun is setting. Okay, and now they're disappeared. Now see that they've disappeared. And now look what happensarngement. They've arranged in seconds to create this death start in the sky and the death star is slightly rotating. So what I'm saying is, if we are able to create this in the sky for entertainment, why would we think that Elon Musk and SpaceX or Bezos or whatever the fuck whatever is going on, whoever has the amount of money that can do this in the sky would not try to control human ideology and fear as it relates to the unknown. Fear is a controller. And I feel that this is what's happening in a major way. And I think that sheeple think it's aliens, but there are no aliens. Wo. I no, again again, I think it's very compelling. I'm compelling. I'll look into it. I'll look into it, you know, I was on I was on mushrooms the other day and I was with Henri Koperski and he said, you're making a really good point. And I pointed at him and looked in his eyes and said, I am very compelling. I am very compelling. I am very compelling. And he couldn't help but agree. You always were. You always were, he always was. Just know that Elon Musk is going to assassinate me. Now this part of the episode is gonna be seriously not there anymore. No, I'm going to be the only one who knows the truth that the both of you were in cahoots with SpaceX.
Has anyone else's algorithm been feeding AI images of Elon Musk and Suckerberg?
Yes, yes, there's a lot of There's a lot of els like it's like Elon Mark Zuckerberg like being a couple.
It's like the wholy a very believable couple. I would say, I'm like, yoh, yeah, they're a tea.
It's like when people were doing the Trump putin gay love thing, and it's like now they're doing that with but with new AI technology, it's like that same sort of like.
Goof, we have unlocked human potential. Oh honestly, with AI, we've officially gone too far. You want to know why because on this new season of the Circle, one of the people competing is just full on AI, and Michelle Buteau is narrating it being like and the producers are not. They have no idea what this AI is going to do, and it's just an AI. It's learning the game, it is learning the social dynamics, and it's doing an incredible job so far. I've only watched one and a half episodes, but I'm like, I literally was like sitting here like watching it, and I'm thinking to myself, like, at what point is the AI just gonna learn to take over the show? Like I just the AI thing isly and now we're having fun with it on Netflix's The Circle. I mean, I don't know, we've already sort of like get an AI host on the view. Honestly, we're really close. Like, wouldn't it be fun if one of the hosts was AI? Would it have come telling things to say? You've already asked a question and you don't have to pay that host, right, you don't have to pay it? Can't believe it, Like if they're basically saying like, oh, like what if this AI like wins the circle, what then it's doing a really good job. It's better at social stuff than humans. I don't know what is the circle? Yeah, it's a game show.
It's like a game show where everyone is locked in their own rooms and they only communicate through this like social media platform and then people have to like it's as if like influencers was gamified, like the whole concept of like being likable on the Internet was like gamified into like a Survivor slash like Big Brothers style of like eliminating people. It's fun, it's really like it becomes very compelling. It is like a little dystopic, and it is like kind of simplifying over simplifying what social media is. But it's fun to watch. But I'm gonna watch I haven't watched it in a while. I'm gonna watch this one.
It's just interesting because like they're all in their own room. They all have these avatars and that's how they communicate, and some of the real humans that are being themselves are communicating and you see the other people sort of like digest the way that they've said hello, and they're like hmm, that person sounds really wooden, and I bet that person's a catfish because a lot of them are catfish. That's like part of the game. And they're fully real human beings expressing themselves normally. And then this AI comes in aware of the fact that they need to have more of a personality, so they say that accident and wow, So they say things like a little bit offbeat in it off like else on when they meet in or whatever. Yes, And basically the AI has chosen its avatar and its personality, and it's like age and like it's a guy. It's like a white guy in its mid twenties. It looks like cute but not handsome, like non threatening holding a cute dog. And the AI is like studies have sown that's seventy percent of photos with dogs like do better, Like you automatically are a more likable person. And it's like working. You see the other people the contestants being like that is that dog? I know I'm gonna get along with Adam.
There's I guess like there's some magazine or something that does like videos of like during Bress junkets. The one I saw a clip of was Chris Hemsworth and Nannie Taylor joy like playing with puppies, and there's something so like dark and primal about that.
Yep.
I mean like, here are these two beautiful blonde people playing with dogs.
Enjoy it, eat it, and it is widely enjoyed. Eat this. Yeah, here's some content. It's like woof to say nothing of the dogs. But woof, woof? Why am I saying it? Like? Woof? You find out I'm Ai. I think I'm the least Ai out of all of us to be honest, refreshingly human. Bowen Yang Ai, I am Ai af Well, let's find out what Ai has to say. Bowen Yang, do you have an I don't think so, honey, I do.
It's very, very stupid, it's not, but I think people will relate.
This is Bowen Yang's relatable. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Cutting up a bell pepper there is no agreed upon way to slice bell pepper, and we're all this is why language and communication is broken down across the world. It's not social media. It's because we have not settled on a way to chop up bell pepper in our salads in our soups, in our stews and our snacks. Everyone's like, oh, you gotta cut around the stem, or oh you gotta like get the white like pity stuff out.
You gotta get like the dirty rounded part of it has to be straight strips.
No, we have to agree upon one way to cut bell pepper otherwise this is the Tower of Babel all over again. If we can't agree on how to do this one simple thing, then what hope do we have as a civilization? What hope do we have for society? For the way that why are we growing these damn vegetables in the first place if we're not even going to agree on how to use them. It's not about personal preference. It's about making sure there's a standard way and a way that sort of encourages equality.
And that's one minute. I was going to say, it's like the Tower of Babel all over again.
We must find a way of cutting the pepper that encourage equality.
Equality and community that was really important. There's no community around bell peppers. Well, I will say, in terms of the stem, you definitely do have to cut around the stem. And I think that the rule of thumb with bell peppers is you just have to do a little bit more work. You have to dice them more than you think. But it's worth it. It is worth it.
I love Bell Pepper, Oh certainly, Julia. What do you think as a vegan? How do you feel about bell Pepper? I think they're very important.
How do you feel about it? I think they're very important. Yeah, you love the question. You love doing a.
Very leading question. How do you feel about it? I think it's very important. How do you feel about representation?
I think it's about he's gonna still say that no matter. How are you like? I know, I know talk about bell peppers? I uh me. Bell peppers are neither a plasma R minus. They're like iceberg lettuce. To me, they're like but iceberg lettice is no nutritional value. If it's there, I'll have it. I'll never miss it. What's your like if you had to make like sort of like your little vegan lunch, what is it? I think my favorite food? Well, sushi? What you like sushi? Sushi? Oh? Sushi?
No, I mean I do like meals that are contained, So sushi is very good. A burrito, I think is really good because it's a capsule of food.
Yeah, and by contained, you mean like, actually, the food keeps itself together.
The food keeps itself together. Yes, I don't need you on raveling in front of me.
Right, got it? Got it? I got I got it? Got Yeah. So you go to Chipotle, let's just say you're certainly not gonna get like, no, I don't know bowl. Well, but you wouldn't get a breata bowl. If I hypothetically had to go to a Chipotle, I would not get a reata bowl. Right.
Is a taco self contained that unravels in front of you?
Very often a taco's needy, Right, A taco needs to be helped, so needy, Oh my god, needs to be held or else it's nothing. Yeah, you're right. Sushi. Sushi needs nothing from you. It's so true. It's so true. Sushi needs nothing from you just to enjoy it. You know, there's a lot of people out there thinking that you can't eat too much sushi. I have to say, last time I found out that wasn't true. You can. Yeah, because I woke up this morning and I felt like garbage, and I was like, what happened? Too much? Then I realized, Well, because a lot of people are talking about how they don't think you can eat too much of it. Where do you hear No, Matty, I don't really remember how where I heard it, but it's out there.
But the sushi doesn't need anything from you, you know what I mean. That still doesn't change the fact that sushi does not ask anything of you, and it's on you that you ate so much.
Yeah, it's a theory. I understand what you're saying. I'm not really following. But is that what I said to you about the drugs? Yeah? I think it's compelling. I don't really understand what you're saying. But wow, that's not how I said it. Okay, Well, well we'll talk about this offline. Okay, Julio, are you ready to do I don't think so, honey. Yeah. And I'm actually very proud of it because I just thought about it. Okay. I did not prepare this is This is Julio Torres. I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so, honey. The barricade around the portal are you familiar with Are you familiar with the portal? No, it's the circular portal in New York. It's like a big screen with a live feed between Manhattan and I want to say Dublin. And the whole thing is that like tourists in both cities can just like wave at each other. There's a thirty seconds where is it? I want to say it's Madison Square Park.
Maybe this is a barricade and there is a barricade around the portal guarding the portal because too many people were exposing themselves in both countries. Fifteen seconds or just showing foul things to each other. But frankly, if you don't trust the public with public art, we have failed as a society.
Five seconds. If public art.
Is too delicate or begs itself to be used in a specific way, then you are you are condescending to the audience and we don't need it.
One minute. That's beautiful. That was really not only was it beautiful to hear you say, I don't think so, honey, the barricade around the portal, but also the facts were there too. If public art can't be public, we've failed. Yeah, If public art can't be public, we have failed. Release the portal, open the portal, drop the barricade to the portal, drop the barricade to the portal. At once if I were mayor.
If I were mayor, and I will be someday, that is the first thing I'll do. I will say, drop the barricade to the portal. Everyone must have access to the portal. That would be my first tweet as mayor. You're not going to be mayor, Yes I will be.
No, you have a sarriving Hollywood career, whether you like it or not. Look look at Reagan, Look at Reagan. Look at Schwartzenegger.
Yeah, look at Schwartzenegger. I'll do it now. The portal is beautiful. I've just looked up.
I've never seen this in the city neither. Well, it's flopping. It's giving the vessel all over again. The vessels so sad. The vessels just like, have.
I shown you my collection of guys on Tinder that have pictures with the vessel?
Yes, I would love to see it. A lot of gay guys, exclusively gay guys that the people use them are the only ones I can see on Tinder. They won't let me see anything else. The vessel is so so like streng guy stand like, can you believe where I am? I'm a man of the world.
Yeah, it's like I have a vessel. There's any man, Marcus plus to hear. Yes, I have something I want to bring to the group.
Go ahead. There are pop stars, let's just say pop stars, or they're just artists that are either portals or mirrors.
M that is beautiful. That is absolutely beautiful. And I can tell you who's a portal and who's a mirror.
Beyonce's a portal. Taylor Swift is a mirror. There you go. I think you're right. Beyonce transports you somewhere, brings you somewhere into a new experience. Taylor Swift is about relatability, is about reflecting the audience back at them. Yeah, yeah, I do think that there is a case to be made for Katy Perry is mirror. Katy Perry is a mirror. Katy Perry's music exists to make you feel a certain way, whereas you listen to like some of these other artists and it's like this exists mostly as an artistic expression. Yes, yes, that is very beautiful, and I think there is We need to get you a doctor. I'm going to say there's validity in both. Of course, there's validity in both. One is not better than the other, No of course, I do think that when people were talking about, like, oh what was better, like the Renaissance tour or the aerostour, and I was like, I think I can't pinpoint why they're not equally different and valid because one was a mirror experience and one was a portal experience.
Yeah, yeah, yes, I think there's definitely room for both. I think mirrors comfort us and portals propel us.
Yes, and they're both necessary. That's really good. But sometimes mirrors can scare us the most soaken portal portal sometimes you need, and sometimes dot dot dot mirrors can scare us through. That's a very like Desperate Housewives absolutely eaty punches the medicine cabinet mirrors. We use them to take a look before we leave the house, to check out husband's tie, before he leaves the house, to inspect some pescima scara in the corner of our eye. Yes, mirrors comfort us, assuring us of our own image. But what if a mirror showed us what was never there? Oh my god, I'm let me tell you something. I am rewatching Desperate Housewives now, Oh my god, I want to do it. Where's Alfred Woodard? She's working? But I want to see. I would imagine books somewhere. Yeah, no, she is I checked Betty apple White. Betty apple White, what a name? Well, Julio, this is your fourth time on last coach. This is it.
We're so grateful. This is it, This is it no more, this is me now, this is Did you watch that?
Yes? I did last night? You actually did? I did last night? What did you think? We just need your abridge? Take on? This is me now compelling? Okay, although hold on.
I'm gonna leave everybody on this. I can't tell if Jalo is a portal or a mirror.
She's a mirror. Jayla is a mirror, and this is meat now aspired to be a portal, Yes, of course. But I don't myself in Jlo, Like I don't know what you don't do. It's not for you to see yourself and Jlo. But if you do see yourself in Jlo, you really you really see yourself in Jalo? Yeah? Right, Okay. It's the thing of like, are you a fragrance or viting in water? What? You know? What I mean? It's that thing. Are you Sarahn? Okay? Stomping to door? Are you Jennifer water Y? I see. Yeah, amazing, we need both. Zendia is both interesting. I don't think Zendaya is vitamin water, is she? I think Zendia is like all of it in her heart is the Disney girl, and she kind of can't. She'll never like totally escape that, no matter how artistically and critically successful she is, Like she'll always be a little bit like one second away from like Sketchers, it's the s. What is that that you just said? Skechers is the S. Yeah, that's sort of a shoe campaign for doing a Sketcher's commercial. Yeah, got it. That's interesting, Like we haven't escaped the world where it's like zendeiya for spearmint gum, you know what I mean? Like, probably not soon.
Well, okay, here's what I'll say is I did not know she was a Disney star.
She has shake it out. Doesn't that change things a little bit? Well no, but I'm saying is I was not seeing her through that lens and it was perfectly satisfied. She's a sended that for sure. Yeah, she's the most crossover mirror portal person we have currently. M Wow. Interesting she's a mirror portal. She's a mere mirror portal. She's what Lana del Rey would call glass spaceship.
I love that and Lana's a portal through and through, Yes, yeah, portal. Well, much to discuss with infinite people when we come back, come back, our eight of La.
I'll be right back Fantasmas. It's out on June seventh, June seventh on HBO on HBO, but you watch it vio HBO, Max I think is well it's Max.
Oh sorry, I'm so sorry, Yes, sorry Love, Sorry, David kisses Love, Sorry, David Cases, David Kisses Love.
It's actually a real coachre number ninety nine. Sorry, David Love. Well, this has been a joy, delight and more. We and every episode of song Oh that you sing? Yes, got it? Okay to end it there, Bye bye bye. Last Culture Rastis is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcasts. Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Executive produced by Anna Hasnier and Hans Soni, produced by Becka Ramos, edited and mixed by Doug dam Monika Board and our music is by Henry Komerski.
