Forever. Look man, oh I see you. Why and look over there? How is that culture? Yes? Goodness? Lets decorum, decorum, decorum. I was not told there would be a costume change. But here we are, here, we are. Uh, how is everyone doing so far? Beautiful? Oh yeah, here's the thing. You guys, Oh my god, are very very very special. Friend and fans Shelby, Yes, here, and she's brought us a gift, which are these cups from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. And she got some of our houses. Yes, I got a raven claw one. I'm Asian, and I got a Hufflepuff one. I'm stupid. Yeah, that's it. That's it. No, but I really feel like a hufflepuff. Okay, but you have this theory where and this is such, this is you're cheating. You're saying that you're you're all four of them at different times. Yeah, it's very complicated. The way my mind works is like very complex. Um, so bear with me. I was born a griffin door in my early twenties, I was a Slytherin. Okay, if you get what I mean. Currently, right now in my life, I am a hufflepuff. But I will die a raven Claw. Okay that that yeah, that's that's just how I feel, and I feel that I can be in all four. I'm gonna transfer. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I wonder if there's like a process in Hogwarts where like you can apply for a transfer if you just really don't feel like socially and academically it's for you. I mean, I think I think the transfer process is, um, the sorting hack gets to filate you and then fine, but I have to suck. That sounds insane. I think that's it. That's that's it. Yeah, And like I don't know, there's a there's a there's a child sex ring involves Well, you're the one into sex toys. Now do you think that the hat would be good at that? Okay, I'm sorry, I keep leading us down these really terrible, um you know, polemics, and I don't I don't want to do that. Guys. I'm off tonight. I just want to be very open with everybody that this is an off night for me, and please respect that. And I'm on fucking fire and I'm on fucking just kidding. Please respect. No, it's it's a bit. I'm doing great. I slayd my. I don't things, so, honey, let's bring out our second half of groups. Shall we please welcome this group and they are called Cameron Michaels. Welcome. I'm David Goldberg, Cameron Michael's everyone justin Rando, please welcome Mark So please welcome Elaine Stritch herself, j Mouski, and please welcome Brandon Zelman. Yes. I love the way we're doing this. Yeah, I love the little the little run around this. This is Canada. Now you have to do a lap. You guys are Cameron Michaels. You got it? Please welcome to the microphone the day. David Goldberg. Well, okay, so here's the thing. You have a choice, babe. You can do the trouble or you can do a pre selected I don't think so, honey. Okay, So it's pre selected. And I was so scared that another white gay would take this before me. I've been petrified, but it's mine. No one took it. I love that, Okay, y'all you white gays. So this is David Goldberg's I don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I don't think so, honey. The remaining gaze who think that Carly ray Jepson is a one hit wonder. Okay, listen, listen, listen. The world is on fire. Mike Pence wants to put me in a concentration camp before I'm thirty. I cannot spend my remaining days on this earth explaining that emotion and besides are the definitive apotheosis of human life on this planet. Thank you. Second, wait, bitch, what are you even listening to when you go to Fire Island? Nickelback? Fuck you? Okay, fuck you? L A Hallucinations is a great song, right, bowen, thank you? Okay. And while I'm up here, can I just say if I ever hear someone say that Charlie xc X is that girl from the Iggy Azalea video to kill you and your family, And as I dance over your graves, I will say these last words. Hi. Don't think so, honey. That's one minute up for David Goldberg. Collie rad Jefson is a skinny legend, legend. Everyone welcome, justin, random babe, Hi, justin. So there are two options. It's the trouble and pre selected. Pre selected. That's a choice. This is Justin Reynolds. I don't think so hony as time starts now, I don't think so, honey, waiters who will only take orders from ladies first? Okay, Like, no, we're done with that right. Like I was at a restaurant last week. My waiter literally interrupted my order and said, oh, we're gonna start with the ladies first. I'm like, I'm sorry, are they wearing boodle skirts and pearls? Because it's not the nineteen fifties bit like we're in Buffalo Wild Wings. Literally everyone here is wearing leggings. Move on, Okay, first time? Why are you gonna pick one gender identity to go before all the rest? Okay? I think it's patronizing to female identifying folks. And also I'm hungry. Okay, not to mention this particular waiter was homosexual. Don't ask me how I do. And I'm like, really, sis, you're gonna skip over one of your own like that for all intents and purposes, I am a lady and you should be the first to know it. Okayn, order generals are dead, I don't think so, honey, take his honor now, Oh, baby Bay, please go to the Mike Mark mark. So, yes, I saw that little look you tossed us you ah, Matt. Lady Matt made a claim on the podcast that he's never met a Mark before in his life. We met the previous week. But it's fine. You know, it's improv. We're over it. We made up in them. It's um, here go. What's it gonna be? Pre selected of quirks? Yes, of course, yes, because of corks. This is mark stalls. I don't think so many as time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Homophobic bathroom layouts that forced me to shoot in the stall directly next to my office crush. This This is a uniquely queer trauma. And honestly, here's the thing. I drink a lot of coffee at work. That's workplace culture, bitch, and when I gotta go, it's never not an emergency. So I bust into the bathroom. And what am I to do when Dan from Accounting is cute little penny loafers are just like wiggling under the stall next to the only other open stall in the room. I mean, I would the man just having me pop a squad and empty my bows inches away from my beloved because I don't think so, honey. I mean, do you think Jim and Pam everyone's favorite cream of wheat breeders, would have gotten through a month together if they had to go to Browntown next to each other. Because I don't think so, honey, I don't think so. I mean, it's just not fair. It's like it's it's just five seconds. I don't think so love winds. Love is strong, but IBS is stronger. I don't think so. Love is strong, but iby that's the stronger. It's actually rule of culture. Number eighty one producer, everybody, take out, take out cannon everyone, Um wait, Mark, he's wearing Penny loafers but so cute. Okay, all right, he's not a rule of culture. What what did I say? Number forty nine. Love is strong, but IBS is stronger. Everyone over here was like yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone. Please welcome to the microphone Jays, Yes, so talk to us. What do you think? Um no, this is premeditated like a murder? All right, this is juskis I don't think so, honey. As time starts now, Tony Braxton put out a new album this year, and none of you paid attention. None of you. This is a woman who gave us and break my heart. She gave us Braxton family values. She put out eight songs, and all of you treated her like she was an elderly woman on a subway who just farted. You ignored her. Okay, take out your phones, everybody. Take out your phones. Your phones, how much time? Take out your phones? Take them out? Open your Spotify, Apple Music, open your Teezer. I don't know what the funk. You listen to music on and you add Tony Braxton, Sex and Cigarettes to your playlist, and you listen to it, and then when you find your favorite song, you at j Molski on Twitter and you tell me who it is, and then you add Tony Braxton and apologized to And that's one. Sex and Cigarettes now streaming on Spotify, Apple Music, and iTunes. A call to action, everyone, Wow, give it up at this time for Brandon's Alvin. Oh, I have Carli Rage upson in my head. Now. I'm not the type of girl for you. Thank you for that. Thank you anyway. Hi, Hi, I've got a problem. What it's It's in my head, and you gotta talking about it. I've got they've got no problems right here. Okay, okay, okay, this is Brandon's Almons I don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I don't think so honey. Plays about doing plays, it's really good. Have we been outside friends, have we seen the world. Have we interacted with someone who's not doing plays? If not, met a friend, say hello, talk to somebody on the subway. There's so many people on the subway. Very second you talk to a stranger, they will tell you. They will tell you crazy things on the subway. Do a play about that? Someone shut out a word? What space? Do a play about space? It's most things is space place there's nothing, there's nothing going on in place. I go to Midtown to see your play, and it's about how each managers have feelings too, got it look shut down the theater the theater is then, I don't think so. I wanted give it up for Cameron Michaels, save it go backsting round off, Jay Loss, Gamesman, just the pinnacle of sis. Whit that group was Cameron Michael's or white gay man that they surprised you, But they surprised you, didn't they you under us? White gay that came out of nowhere really took us. Yeah. I love when a white gay succeeds everyone welcome our next group stunt queens, Queens, Jess Sliman, Michael Wolfe, Horzac. Wait, am Ie, who say and tell us not with Potson's bitch. They came out in all sorts of a different order. And wait, hold on, Carly, Carly, come on, come on, everyone's the lap around, through the lap Honey, it's now cannon okay, and let's please do this in order to this. And they're like, oh, yes, Jess s Jess, yes, thank you, yes, okay. So, by the way, hello, so what do you think is it a pre slect the topic or is it the trouble? I'm doing pre select because I'm too angry and I don't know what could come out if it's not like a little bit planned. So you know you've seen what's having in the world anyway, So yeah, I'm just gonna pre select. We're gonna target our anger, We're gonna target, We're gonna target amazing. This is Jess Almons. I don't think so many of our time starts now, I don't think so, Honey, Honey, A K A B calm, get that thick dehydrated p color ejaculate oh away from me. If I wanted a sweetener that had been jess out of nature, I would have taken it from the maple leaf trees. Seconds. And yes I'm Canadian, and yes I'm an immigrate that left a better country and arrived here with everything and where are our stories? But that's not why I prefer map fifty seconds. You temper mental bitch, Honey. I leave you in the cabinet for two months, and he turned the solid shock up. I'm sorry I didn't paying up attention to you, Honey. I already have one wife. Okay, I don't think so, honey, Honey. No, honey, I don't make so, sweetie honey. And now please welcome to the stage. Michael, my gosh, you must Hey, um, how are you both? You know we're doing really well. A lot of people don't know. That's the hardest job of the night, just saying I just wanted to check in, really, how are you? We are doing okay? Do you want to water? Do you want to drink? What's up? Did you see h J? I saw him tall? Fun? What are we thinking? You know what? I want to honor my background as a college short form comedian for long years. Many short form improv scenes and I'm going to do the trouball okay, man, first trouball of this half. Sure, sure, sure, I'm also a bully. What's up? What's up? Well? I hope that Kira Knightley is not sensitive because you're I don't think so, honey, troll ball. Topic is Kira Nightly and just one movie. She's in Whatever you want me baby, as time starts now, I don't think so, Kira Knightly, Honey, You're not a night You're an actress. So I'm to give that title back to the people who earned it the hard way by living in medieval times. Okay, do you know how easy it is to be an actor. It's the easiest fucking thing in the world. Hey are you sad? Whoa that was acting? She is sad? Wow? I don't think so, Honey Nightly. Guess what you get a script? Every day? You wake up, you read it, you walk around, you say those lines go plumb, go plum somebody's house. Why don't you be a senator? Why don't you contribute something to this world? You know, when I'm done here tonight, I have to go deliver a baby five seconds via fed fucking X. I've delivered a baby via fed Ex. Bitch. So, Kira Knightley, the least you can do is get another job. I do know your work. I just can't remember it right now. That one minute Pirates of the Caribbean, Bendit like back on Pride and Prejudice, Atonement and the like many films that she was in. Films, just a small sampling of her over and now, please welcome to the stage, dripping in sequence, Carly Hogan, Die Harley. It's Hogan Dyke, Hogan Dyke. I just wanted to say that in public forum. Here we go. Okay, so what is it? Is it a pre selected topic? It's going to be pre selected, okay, Dyke, thank you, Arlie Hogan Duck. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Golem from the Lord of the Rings. Like you're obsessed with a ring, get over it, but like I don't know. I got a ring right here. I when I was four years old, my grandma was wearing this ring and I pointed at it and I said, can I have that when you die? And she said yes. And guess what, you guys, I got this ring. And I'm given away happily. Andrew, are you here? Andrew's my boyfriend, Andrew, Come here, Andrew, Andrew, would you like hustle because I have like probably thirty seconds. This could be as long as you need a right, Andrew, do you want me ring? I don't think so. Okay, alright, alright, fair enough, fair enough, fair enough, fair enough, fair enough, fair enough. My god, Carly, we are in an open relationship and we're gonna keep it that way. God, that's fucking golup coming up. Yes, have some respect, Carley Hogan, dyke everybody, but I thought Andrew Andrew, hey, go out of here. No, I'm just kidding, Andrew, You're allowed to stay. Hey you should have taken that ring. Was that a merry proposal gone awry? Oh my god? No, we would be so insulted if you guys staged a proposal here like truly, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Oh my god. Okay, back to the show. Wow, everyone giving up for your man out? Who say thank you? So? I don't think so, Honey, proposing to your boyfriend before I go on? I think that's yeah, that would have been curaging exactly. I would have had to propose right here and now when I could have about to do it again, there's right there, honey. Yeah, like real lesbians. That's what we dare. Okay, youm on, So what do we feel? Is it a trouble or is it it's definitely pre selected the fake out. This is Emmonel Hussaini's I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. Okay, I don't think so, honey, straight male spin instructors, So no, thank you. With that this graceful playlist, kid Rock, Sweet Home Alabama, and dare I say jump around from how to pain? No, no, honey, when I go to spin class, I want to be brought back to the club I danced at the night before, not your Fourth of July barbecue from no thank you. If Britney Spears is toxic, is not accidentally slash purposely there twice. You're not a certified professional, honey, you're not five seconds. I don't think so, honey. That's uh sweat stained um a C D C shirt. Everybody just that, okay, okay, thank you. And now to close out the Sun Queen group, we have Sarah Smallwood Parsons. Lady right, I was going to do trouble. But I thought of something backstage that makes me absolutely furious, Okay, absolutely maurious. Well, then Mrs Sarah Smallwood Parson says, I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Polyamorous couple, Wow, you get one. You'll get one. Polyamorous couples of the same kids in Halloween that take all the fucking candy out of the ball at the door, You get one. I don't think so, honey. Polyamorous couples. Oh, it's weird. We just like, don't get jealous. Thirty seconds. Thirty seconds, bitch, then you do not care about each other seconds. I don't think so, honey, polyamorous couples. So if we're get in a fight and I'm like, I'm not gonna fuck you, you get to just go fun somebody else my sex. There's a weapon five second and that's one minute. Get up for a s queens, Jess, Salama, Hogan, Dyke, Come on, el who's saying it? Sarah Smallwood Parson. Wow, A lot to think about so far, guys, to think about anyone into polyamory here, anyone into Polly's good Let's keep talking about the young, dumb and full of skittles. It's me Matt Rogers, and I am here to tell you about Quip. Now here's the thing, guys. The truth is most of us are brushing our teeth wrong, not for long enough, and we forget to change our brushes on time. That's because most brands focus on selling flashy gimmicks, you know, the ones, rather than better brushing. But that's not quip Okay. Quip is different for arts. Quip as an electric toothbrush that's a fraction of the cost of bulkyear brushes will still packing just the right amount of vibrations to help clean those teeth. Clips built in time or helps you clean for the dentist recommended two minutes with guiding pulses that remind you want to switch sides. Equip subscription plans are for your health. They're not just for convenience. They deliver new brusheads on a dentist recommended schedule every three months for just five dollars, including free shipping worldwide Australia fans looking at you. Quip also comes with amount that suctions right to your mirror and unsticks it to use as a cover for hygienic travel wherever you take your teeth, and I hope you are taking your teeth with you. If you're not, I've gotta talk. And finally, everyone loves Quip. They were on Oprah's OH List, they were named one of times Best Inventions, and it's one of the first subscription electric toothbrushers accepted by the American Dental Association. It's a trailblazer of toothbrush GIA plus. They're backed by Network Come. Over twenty thousand dentists on hygienas and hundreds and thousands, hundred and thousands of happy brushers use Quip each day. Now, I think what you're clamoring for or what you should be clamoring for. If you're not clamoring, hey, pay attention, clamor here's the call to action. Baby. Quip starts at just twenty five and if you go to get quip dot com forward slash ding dong right now, you'll get your first refill pack free with a Quip electric toothbrush. That's your first refill pack free at get quip dot com forward slash ding Dong that is spelled g E T qu u I p dot com forward slash ding dong baby, get those teeth looking like movie star teeth. Please. Welcome to your next group, and they're called oh for sure, Welcome, Shantira Jackson. Welcome, Yes, Welcome to dy Monica. Welcome, Hey, ed Par Welcome, Alien Claude, and welcome Ariel Alias. Yes yes, oh the looks yes. And the first to the mic is Shantira Jackson. Everybody looking fresh to death. She's looking sharp sharp. Hello. Hello, that's for a look. I gave it to you, um, we did. We. We prompted everyone and said give it a look. I would like to go for that. Troubable okay, oh for sure, yes, the first time I'm here. Nervous Okay, alright, well could be this could go either way. Yeah, I mean it can only go one way. Your trouble, I don't think so, honey. Topic Shintira Jackson is Beyonce and jay Z and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Beyonce and jay Z because jay Z is a fucking weird ass husband. Okay, all right, let's explain it. Let's explain it. You're eighteen years old, you're fucking thriving. Your dad makes you running heels. You're the best person who's ever lived in the planet and you start danting a thirty year old cocaine dealer. Okay, I don't know about you, but the bitch has been dating up ever since she started dating. O god, I mean like he's like trash. Right if your dad, if your dad came up to me, was like, who are your dating? You're like, oh my god, I'm dating a cocaine dealer who cheats on me all the time. And when he gets old, he wraps very lazily. I mean, the only time he got good it was really like comedy is when he actually started talking about his life. That's with jay Z. He was like Macaronian cheese, I have me. You're like Beyonce ruts and heels, She's a queen. Right five seconds, the most garbage marriage. But I stand for it because four hundred million dollars to any black person shuts here at Jackson, everybody, it's slight a summer spat. Yes, and now eighty Monica, Okay, stop, I'm wrong, I'm wrong, We're wrong. I'm doing pray. What do you think? Is it a trouble or appreciated that this is because I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now now, I don't think so, honey. Bitches telling me that I have to see Pixar movies like they're real fucking movies. No, oh, but you have to see up. What No, bitch, old man and little boy. There's nothing I care about less? Oh my god, ond I have not paid my gas bill in seven months. And when I wipe too high, I get shipped on my back. I don't care about up. And that old man is rich. That old man is rich. Oh, he cannot to fold his house, so he's floating in the sky with blues. The only way that you're into that g thank you with a child that you do not know, and you are not worried about the consequences when you get back on land as if you have money, bit there's no way. And if there's a fucking in a movie, I just do not have time for it. I'm horny, bitch. I have a boyfriend and I want to I want to suck others. And that's when she wiped too high to get ship on her back. Bad kill Bowen Yang. That killed Bowen Yang dead. He died alrighting, Okay, it's time for Hey, can I just say I've been really horny this week and the energy in this room is not helping it. Oh so sexy, everybody, It's a very sexy energy tonight. Everyone's gonna fuck. I mean, first of all, I've not seen someone pull off the Fannie pack and the statement necklace and a very long time until now. Until now, honey, So what are we thinking? Are we doing? Topping my cherry? So pre pretty? This is hey in Parks? I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Accountability partners, I know it's useful for some people and it helps you get shit done, but it's just maybe into a big old liar. Why does so many Why does so many white women want to be my accountability partner? Tasting point? I have an exercise account by a partner that that I send post workout selfies too. But when I skip the day, instead of honesty, I just recycled my sweaty selfie lies. And I'm also a sloppy liars, so I get caught red handed. The other day, I met a friend who is also my healthy eating partner, and we were telling each other when we had that day and I didn't want to tell that I had a whole bag of Cheetos popcorn at the Unit Square Regal Theater watch The Oceans eight. I don't think so, honey. The only accountability partner I need is some bundy each that I can count on to call the police in case I get murdered by my tenderhook up. Okay, five seconds, five seconds, I don't think so, honey. Good fucking bye to all other accountability partners. That's one minute. Wait. But I have a theory. I think that popcorn doesn't count. Popcorn is error. I think popcorn is aaron doesn't count. It's rule of culture number one hundred. Popcorn doesn't count. It is air. Everyone, welcome to the microphone. Eileen clarking, oh, showing for the back. I'm so sorry. You want to see what this body? Oh my god, listen. Until this very moment, I was ready to troll bullet. But I think I'm gonna go pre selected, pre selected. This is Eileen Clark's I don't think so honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. All my theas and theos that live in Nica, I want and want me to bring a bunch of ship from the United States back into the country. Okay, Mida, you no lock all, honey. I don't want to bring you cheddar cheese is because there's not good cheddar cheese, and bitch, you got cheese, eat that thirty seconds, Mita. I don't want to travel from the United States into literally a war ridden country, okay literally, and then have fucking five bags and then paying that your fifty bucks for baconds, no, bitch, and then my thea who works at a Bridle store is like meta, can you go to Jessica McLean talk and get me like the discount ones five seconds? I don't think so, bitch. Listen, if you want your ship, you better fucking order it on Amazon Prime, because I am not that you're no locrel han Me's what? Yeah, here we have Ariel Elias. Yes, the shoes. The shoes are important. Shoes are important, yea. They hurt so bad? Paying no game, right, what's it gonna be. It's gonna be a pre sell act. This is Ariel Aliasts. I don't think so many her time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Restaunson bars that don't allow dogs, Okay, you will let a white man with dreads sit at the bar. But my dog is the health code violation. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so. You know who's less likely to pee on the floor of the bathroom, my dog because she is tranned. Well, that man with the white dreads. He can afford to live in Williamsburg, but he can't afford a bar of deodorants. Seconds. Excuse me. He has never lifted anything in his life, and yet he smells like. Oh. I don't think so, honey. Why has he here? Get him away? You know who's never given me genital herpes? My doog certainly has. I don't think so, honey. You know what dog is spelled backwards? It's gone five seconds. You know what man is spelled backwards? It's named the thing that traumatized it an entire generation of our count Wow. Wow, that's rule of culture number fifty. Man spelled backwards is nam. Everyone give it up for this group, Oh for sure, Jackson eating, Monica hay On, far Eilan Clark, and Ariel Elliot. Okay, we're coming down to the last couple. We have two more groups. This group is called I Come Alive time. Everyone welcomes Samantha Ruddy, give it on up for Alex Better and welcome Sharon Paul, come on, give it up for Mr. Justin's a really by God, and welcome day. All right, I come alive in the nighttime. First up, we have Samantha. Let's go, baby, how we feeling? Will it be a trouble or a pre selected topic? I am gonna do a pre selected topic. And Samantha, I love your wave shirt. Oh thank you the beach. It's it's a California like surf rock band, like modern like yeah, yeah, it's funny. Um, okay, this is Samantha Ruddy's I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now, Okay, I don't think so comedies that are sad. I can't tell what's supposed to be funny and what's not an anymore. I watched the sitcom for eighteen hours last night before I realized it was the ken Burns Vietnam documentary. Seconds. I don't think so ken burn Wow. People are like, oh, well, you have to have a little bit of drama to have the character's death. I don't want my character to have depth. I want him to have two days to the prom five seconds and then a wacky friend is telling them what to say through an airpiece. Just because your show is thirty minutes, just not mean it's a comedy. Wow, Mantha running with a great point there. Yeah, what are some of our favorite comedies like The Descendants? Transparent is a comedy? No bid, Nope. It's sad. People crying, people are struggling. If someone is like having sex and they roll over and they're crying, it's not like a riotous laugh fest. It's sad, sad. Thank you, Samantha, Thank you so much. Everyone. Welcome to the Mike, Alex. Better it gets the better, it gets better. Tell us are we doing a preeslet the topic? Are we doing the troll bowl? I am full of tequila. I have some notes and I know exactly what I need to say. Bitch, tequila and notes, and this is Alex Betters. I don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I don't think so, honey. People who say Selena when they mean Selena Gomez, okay, no, no, no, no, no no, those two people are not in the same realm the honey, Okay, Selena Gomez does not have the vocal strength to keep up that moniker. Okay, let me give you a couple of examples. Alexa play songs by Selena Gome Slays play songs by Selena playing songs by Selena Gomez. I don't think so that's not my Selena, honeycond When people say to me, oh, did you hear that Selena is in a new Woody Allen movie? Not my Selena, honey. My Selena would be doing tasteful Jane the Virgin cameos by now, okay, And when people say, have you heard Selena's new bop? No, I haven't unless we send a terminator back to and stopped your landa. Fuck you, Yolanda, Fuck you, Yolanda, fuck you so taking a game changing artists. Fuck you. Selena is the artist men right now today. Yes, that's one minute. That's one minute. Thank you to to to phrases from that. Not my Selena sea and fuck you Yolanda, Yolanda, fuck whatever you are running away in jail. Selena I would have been Madonna level. And that's the real that's the real thing is still alive, is she? I'm not checking in on that bitch, al right, Okay, next up, please welcome Charade Paul Sharonde. This look, Sharon, bread for you to wear a knit over this beautiful under where it? Alright, so, Sharon, what don't we think Are we doing a pre select or are we doing the trouball? We are doing? Okay, it's like my birthday every time. Okay, okay, okay, Sharon, your I don't think so, honey. Topic is people who identify as a Charlotte from Sex in the City and Sharon, your time starts now. All right, Uh, drop some fun factor real quick. I took improv one on one. We can do this. We're doing this together tonight. Alright. I don't think so, honey. People who identify as Charlotte's all right. Uh, let's be real. Most of us are a bunch of sluts. Not a single one of you in this room could dare identify as a Charlotte, and you know it, not a single last one of us. And you know what. Charlotte was tightly wound and you know what. She was a bully to her husband. If you want to identify with an abuser, that's on you. Seconds. I'm not about that life personally, Like um, I'm a Samantha who makes bad choices. Lots of hot dudes and is living an amazing New York City lifestyle. So to all you alleged Charlotte's I don't think so, honey. That's one man. Yes, yes, I just have to say everyone, here's our Samanthe. Well, I thank you, Sharon. But um, my sister married a Jewish man and converted to Judaism, so she is technically a Charlotte. And some of us out there just are are you saying? Are you saying that? Yeah? I'm a fucking bit. Yeah, bitch, do are you are Miranda? I'm gonna get married to some waspy dude him and clock up and say you're not a Miranda, but you're you're the Hufflepuff, which is the first bitch. No, there's a lot going on, all right, everyone, welcome to the mic. Justins are really justin? Gentlemen? Oh my god, justin? How are you? I'm all right? How are you, Charlotte? Oh thoughts and prayers? Mad, I'm so sorry. I'm a carry and we know it. Um, okay, justin? Are we doing It's like the worst thing to say. Are we doing a priest? Like the topic? Are we diving into the much like the topic of my rant. This is pre written. Justin's realize I don't think so, Honey's time starts now, let's get ready to I don't think so, honey. John Cena and Nicky Bella wedding drama, who are you fooling? As a w W E fan for over two decades, I have seen some spandex clad nonsense, but this jumps the shark. Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? You break off an engagement two years after you make me cry and wrestle Maybia and right before the season premiere of Total Bella's I don't second Now you tell me that John Cena got up a sect to me. Of all the things I've wondered about John Cena's penis, that's the one thing I didn't wonder about. I am sick of tired this bullshit? All right? What was it? Nikki? Did he did? He? Only? Oh? George's is that the problem? Second? Could his performance is fernand the talking bull to pedestrian? For you? Set of your problem is the only way that matters. And that goddamn steel cage. But can't see me? I can't see you, bitch. I don't think so. I didn't know they were on the rocks. That's so sad. First of all, this is a rare moment of intersectionality. Justin's really is a gay and a wrestleman. Enthusiasts giving up for Jay Jurney, Jay Jay? What's it gonna be? They? Yeah? I mean come on, I mean we were all thinking it's barely a tank. Uh, how do we feel? Pre selected? Pre selected? This is j Jorden's I don't think so, Honey, his time starts now. Listen. I know Drake just dropped, and I might be going through something because it's a national holiday for niggas with feelings, But I don't think so. Month of June, first of all, I don't like. I don't like months that I named after races, aunties, number one, number two. June has way too much stuff going on, and the White House for the second year in a row, refused to acknowledge that June is Pride month. They acknowledge that June is everything else. June is National Homeownership month, is Caribbean American Heritage month, June is National Ocean Month, and June is also supposed to be African American music Appreciation Month. I don't think so, honey, nuts up. Oh it's no, no, no, no no. Listen June eight months because all of those things happened to coincide with Pride Caribbean American Heritage Month. Bitch, we love Rihana National Beach Month. Aria is my favorite Disney Princess National National Home Wander your month. You can't spend at homeowner with our homeo and number four African American Music Appreciation Month. Like I said before, a bitch, I love Rihanna's j J. Give it up for I Come Alive in the night time. So at the Reddy Alex Sharon, Paul, Justin and J Jerney And now this is this is the last group of the night. Everyone, give it up for Hell's Kittens. Give it up for Anna Cala, Angela Aliata and Asensia, Anna Suzuki and this Glow Tabara Tamaras. Just make all your area Okay, your updraft on? All right? Everyone? Okay, So first on the mic is Anna Calighary. Yes, I love a jump Oh yes, here we go. You know what do we think I pre selected? Okay, prey, this is Anna Caligaris Caligaries. I don't think so, honey, her time starts new. I don't think so, honey. People who wait in line at the gate before your boarding group has been called, okay, why we all know you're in group eight? Bitch, first class hasn't even gotten on the plane yet. What makes you think that you deserve to be first in line? Honey? Also, I pray to God that when you get to the front they tell you to check your back. You do not deserve overhead space. Also, I'm in group two and I'm at the Delta Bistro having a wine. Where the hell are you group eight fifty seconds? I don't think so, honey, waiting in line like you're about to go on an important meeting. You're about to get out of flight for six hours. Why are you dying to be there? Five seconds? Five? I hate those people. I don't think so, honey. That's one man. You wear your turn group. You should be at the Delta Bistro. And if you're flying Southwest, then wait until your group is called as well. Look, and we have something going on. Angel Yagel, Oh my god, Angel Angel came in with a look backstage. I wonder what this is gonna be. I don't I took off the day of work to prepare for this one minute. She took the whole day. Oh my god, Okay, Angel Angel, what's gonna be pre selected or trouble? I think I know preselected? Yeah, I had to ask. It was like Aquaria came out looking like this is Angela. Her time starts now. I don't think so. People who wear traditional Chinese stresses, that's casual fashion. I don't think so, honey. Is it Chinese New Year? Is it your wedding day? Is it the sixteen hundreds? When people wear it as regularly in China? I don't think so, honey. It's like if I'm wearing a seven team center stressed today, it's like a no. Also, why are you eating utensils in your hand? What at that? That he's a little mermaid? I don't think so, honey. And it's like I wear a spark in my butN fucking weird. Also, I'm so stas dresses that looks flattering on me. I wearing twoth bangs and I still look really pregnant. That's dresses were skinny bitches. I am not. Also, my wedding dress and I don't get in it anymore. I don't think so, honey, I I want to go, want to go, I'm go go. I want to say, I don't think so honey. In Cantonese. Yeah, I'm dumb loma honey, and that's what I'm better. Stunt Queen Sun, Queen son of Alore. Wow, take about, take about, take about take it out? Take about that? Angelia? You know what? Who you know? Who's following this? One of my favorite people in the world, Iliana and Asasio. Yes, is this one piece? No, this is a little tank, a little pant Oh my god, Wow, I'm stimulated. Oh my good. So I'm so excited. Um, Aliana, is this pre selected or the trouble? I don't know this is pre selected. I'm having an issue because I have to go after that brain reflected, but I didn't have the whole day to do it. Okay, this is your I don't think so, honey, and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People who shame people who use hashtag grateful, hashtag blessed on social media platforms, look bitch. Sometimes I am hashtag grateful, hashtag blessed. Okay, and the gratitude is splooging out of my heart. My fucking social media fade. Yeah, you bet your ass. I'm gonna use hashtag blessed, hashtag grateful because what are the other options? Hashtag things Sorry, that doesn't have a gravy toss that I want. Okay, do you guys believe in the secret? You bet your ass. I write it, I listened to it. I watched the movie Gratitude. He gets more good ship seconds sixty five percent, sixty five percent of the time. The next day after, I have a hashtag blessed post, something beautiful happens, and sixty seconds it's enough for me. So I don't fix so hot. That's one minute grateful, hashtag bless hashhog grateful. I wants to be here. Oh god, we're hasht are hashtag blessed. I'm also Charlotte. Thank you me too. Apparently. Now please welcome to the mic and a sazuk Wow. Here we go. She's got something. Look, oh my god, looks pre selected. It looks pre selected. She's looking so beer up in here, severe up in here. Anna. I'm not even gonna ask azukis. I don't think no many her time starts now. Oh I'm gonna not gonna do a trouball. Thanks for asking you. You look like you do. This is very topical, so I have to get it off my chest. Okay, I don't think so, honey, big food, where are you? I am waiting. I told all my girlfriends that you're real, that you're not a sham, and you're making me look like a real superstee bitch. Okay, Oh, one day you're in Washington State, another day you're in British column. Be up? What is with you in the Pacific Northwest? Bitch? Where are you when that bitch Jane good Old said she wanted you to be real? Oh that was zoology, that was science. But when I say it, I'm a crazy bitch. What the fund is that? Five seconds? Fuck you bit five? Oh my god. I knew to make this group last. I knew to make them last. Okay, everyone, it's fucking glow. It's blow, It's glow glow. Tabara Tara. I fucking took a cab here because I was like, oh no, the show's about to start. And then I looked at this fucking thing and I'm last, baby, because we knew you would bring the heat glass. Oh shit, wasted money for no goddamn reason. I'm a broke bitch. But that's okay. Let's say here and make the calb worth a bit. Yeah, I gotta make it worth it. I was gonna do a trollball, but that's all white women in there, and I could do without. I could do without, so I could. I picked out the holiday of Christmas. Okay, wait, but then I just picked that's a white woman. I just picked out Octavia Spencer. Oh wow. Okay, but let's do it like a fucking like a a percentage of how many white women are in there. Okay, you picked up I don't want to, Okay, okay, all right, whoa we're during pre selection. I'm a pre mad. I'm a pre mad. She's pretty mad. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. Okay, I don't think so honey. Woke people who think they have a voice and fucking things that they don't know about. Okay. Oh wow, wow, you read a Bell Hoax book and now you want to talk about how white people love Kale. Bitch, everybody loves Kal. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh no, oh oh? I was hanging out with white people that have blue allergies. Bitch, that's an allergy. Everyone has allergies. Why did you guys want to take fucking allergies and kale and ship? Why don't you hang out with after table of color and see if you fucking get something from them? But no, y'all want to hang out with your white friends and talk about how terrible it is are people of color. Will never fucking being around people fellor go funk yourselves, okay, fucking figure your life out. Oh you love gay culture, We don't have no gay friends. This shut up, shut up and sit the funk down a figure out your goddamn life just because you've read a book about being woked up the voice of wokenus. Okay, so sit down and listen. Because we got shipped to say, do a read tweet, don't tweet. Do a fucking read tweet. Okay, and that's one minute. Don't tweet, do a retweet, don't treat. That's rule of culture number sixty. Don't tweet, do a retweet and give it up for Hell's can and the Calgary Angel. Yeah in a centia can go out tamares. Oh wow, I mean just I mean fifty I don't think fifty two. I don't think somebody's have been done. Did you guys have a good time to not? Let's give it up one more time. We're gonna name every single fucking name, and you better cheer and applaud the entire way through. Let's go granted. Title man like A five, Pattie Harrison and He Sammers, but Baker, Kevin Allison, Josh Gondoman, Katherine Cowen, Kathleen our Mente, Stephen Killer here if A, Victor, Matt Bellissimi, Pico Ran Toronto, Joseph OsmAnd Soon, Dennis Norris, The Second Pai, David Goldberg, Justin Randall, Salmon, Michael wal Hogan, Amanel Hussain, Sarah Small, Parson and Tara Jackson, Monica on par Alien, Clarial, Elliott's a Ruddy Alex Batter, Paul and A Caligari, Angelia Aliana in Acencia in a Suzuki and glow to Varrez. Give it up one more time. Thank you guys so much. My name is Matt Roger, my name is Beloniang have a bye. Thank you for ever talking the Bellhouse. This has been a forebber Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe sill Eo and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts. Please visit Forever dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.