Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang“Climbing Cringe Mountain” (w/ Matt & Bowen)
Matt and Bow climb cringe mountain, jump off the cringe plane flying Cringe Airlines and plummet to the ground as if they've fallen from a coconut tree on this always entertaining, occasionally fecal episode of Las Culturistas. If you've not been living in the context of all in which you exist and has come before you, don't worry, because our hosts are here to catch you up on Kamala's BRAT summer, Biden's departure from the 2024 Presidential Race, and SNL's sketch characterizations of political figures past, present and future. Also, Bowen was nominated for an Emmy!, our stomachs as "second brains", Remi Wolf, the power of cucumber, the greatness of The Comeback, and the plot of the movie Simon Birch. This episode is unburdened by what has been. Bless!
Look Mayer, Oh, I see you my own and look over there.
How is that culture?
Yes? Wow, lost culture.
Danged lost.
Lost Coca nutties, as it were three of these girls.
I mean, not that long ago was it bit on this show that this was gonna be a talking Biden podcast. I don't think it's gonna be talking coconuts. I don't think it's gonna be talking context. I don't think it's gonna be talking unburdening. Recording this on Monday, July twenty second, and gosh, just over twenty four hours ago, we were rocked by the news, and I'm both engaged in a way that I have not been in a long time, and I'm also like completely overwhelmed, and I'm like I need to maybe get off this train. But it's not the time for that.
Yeah, I mean I think that certainly. Steve Kornaki has appeared on my television for the first time in many months, and I said, we are so back. You know what I thought about today? Oh, by the way, I'm hitting that blunt in just a second. You know what I thought about today? I literally had like a moment where I almost drove off the road thinking about like how triggered. I'm going to be when I hear the word maracopa, you know, like once we start getting into it, and just knowing that we're headed there, which is of course, in the macro like a very scary thought. And I think in the micro, I actually am feeling very celebratory and very hopeful and very excited. But there is so much left to go, and therefore, like I do completely identify with your overwhelm, because I mean, even in the two days between when we record this and when this comes out, who knows what's even gonna happen. It's just crazy. Someone made a joke like, oh, I bet in ten days we're gonna forget Trump was even like almost assassinated, and it bizarrely feels true. Everything is happening so fast.
We just have to I hope that there is kind of a straight line all the way to middle aguess. Hm hm, but who fucking knows. I mean, you can't sit.
Well, you can't write it. I mean, truth is truly stranger than fucking fiction, for sure.
I'm smoking a new Flamer joint, a pre roll from flameor this Queer Run. I'm looking at their website. A bunch of hotties founded this.
Love that And can I say, is this the same way that you were smoking yesterday? Because you know, my girl was happy, jovial and more.
Can you talk about this because I think and this is the first time I felt this way in a long time. By the way, I put Flamor next to Sunday School, sort of the West Coast equivalent, although they are kind of making making in roads in the East. But but I left our little meeting yesterday, we had a little work session yesterday and I was coming in stone because oh this is man, I don't think so money. My body is just fucked and I don't know why I need. I need to get to the bottom of it. But I was like, I need a little bit of city, but get me up and activated. And I was like, Gabe Levin has this joke where he's like, this thing happens to me when I drink where I'm amazing, amazing, And that's how I felt leaving that session yesterday. I was like, that was I was a very good version.
Of myself stoned in that situation. I just love to see you so happy, and I mean, that's that's what I'm reacting to, is like you were happy and like you seemed like yeah, I was just so happy to see you in this mode. And also wasn't that like that was about fifteen minutes after he had announced.
That was literally fifteen minutes after he announced.
And so I remember, by the way, just like finding out from an Instagram threat, like finding out on Instagram is honest wild. I want to know if you found out from like pop Crave, email in, and by email in, I mean get our attention in some way online, like because I know that pop Crave whatever the fuck like that all these social yeah, that they were breaking these people, and because that is the world that we live in. But you know, just to speak broadly about it, this is what we wanted and will I will not lie. When I saw that he posted that, I felt a moment of deep sadness and concern about what was going to happen because there was not an explicit endorsement of her. I didn't know in that moment if that's what exactly I wanted or needed. I always knew she was super viable for it, but there was a moment of like, wow, this sort of direct action that we all participated in to ensure that he was not going to be the one on the ballot because I just haven't felt confident about it in a very long time and couldn't pretend it happened. It was very sobering, you know what I mean. And so then a half an hour later when he did endorse her, and the endorsement started to come and the energy started to pick up, and you saw at least what feels like right now feels like more unity than we have had. Not to say that she doesn't have her issues, but it felt amazing to just feel like it was possible that we would retain our democracy and that it was possible that we would potentially maybe end this story in the way that it should have ended in twenty sixteen, in the way that you know, maybe things were meant to be. I mean, I will say, it does feel like Donald Trump, white collar thug, convicted felon, racist, rapist, predator versus Kamala Harris, prosecutor, black woman, Indian woman who's rising up as a new leader of this party. It does feel like the last chapter. It kind of does feel like we're about to.
It's giving series finale, and it's giving serious finale.
It's giving Big Boss and I pray, and I am truly hope and I'm hopeful we will have an ending that is a positive one, and I mean that, and I am fully on board and will work very hard as hard as I can to make sure that Kamala Harris is elected president because the alternative is not acceptable.
Thank you for putting it in those words. I think we are untangling a lot of words and texts and thoughts and ideas right now in this moment. I'm seeing a lot of stuff. I think I have a decent birth the e r thh of like a social media sort of like glimpse.
You certainly do.
But who am I to say? But a lot of people what A lot of what I'm seeing now is people being like great but also bummer that this was sure like the thing it's it was never about like his policies. It was always about his electability. And it's like, yes, that's not that makes sense in an election. To be concerned about electability makes total sense. It is not something to like discredit any part of this process that like shouldn't have happened, except it should have. But you know what I mean, It's like it's set like we're all bummed that it happened, except but it had to happen this way, and right there is like a decent outcome on the other side of this, is there's an even great outcome on the other side of this. No matter how you feel about Kamala Harris, it's like she has demonstrated the capacity to move leftward on things, even though for every progressive policy she's been a part of, there seems to be like a conservative one that outweighs it. And that's like a totally fair thing to level against her. But let's just I think we really do need to do some collective exercise in like putting that into compartment for now. And I know we said this like four years ago about Joe, but it's like feels even more dire than that. And there is no option of losing. There is no option of losing, And that's what we have to remember. And like AOC put it perfectly, there is no progressive enough candidate right now to win and beat Donald Trump. But like you just have to think about between these two people whose presidency do you want to organize under? Do you want to be active under? Do you want to like try to like push things in a certain way under I think there's a clear choice here, and that.
There is one choice, I mean, and I would say if you hedge on that choice, then you're not thinking about people much more vulnerable than you. And I do think that is the way we have to vote. Fucking Brooklyn. Gay guys have to think about trans people in the middle of this country. You have to think about black women, you have to think about low income people. We have to and I by all means vent your frustrations about what is happening, but fucking vote for her.
Yes, yes, And I also think I think we can engage on this like for the next hundred days or so in a way that is like what I find effective is like just reframing things. And like anytime I feel like from either side I'm being like moralized, proselytized, like getting a finger wagged in my face, that I'm like, I'm totally disengaging, like I've right whatever. Anyone feels like they are being chastised in some way in this kind of conversation and this kind of discourse like that does not seem to be effective, And so I feel like maybe as a lost culture exercise for everybody, for readers. Katie's pulicis finalists.
Like.
The way you try to engage around this if someone does seem to be pushing back, is just to like reframe it in that exact way where you're like, well, what would it be like to try to like make positive things happen on a collective level in one outcome versus another? Like that is that that's helpful to me?
And I would also say I don't think and I've we have been We've really not weighed in, you know what I mean, We really weighed in. But I did come out and say I did not vote for him in the primary. I have been trying to send small messages to the top and the way that I can. You know, I was called the other day to fundraise for Biden, and I politely told the person on the other end of the phone, while I would be voting for the Democratic candidate, I don't feel I can send money until something is done. And something was done, and I would imagine they heard that a lot. And now what I would say is that everyone's opinion matters, but there are facts here, just like the way Joe Biden's feelings don't matter, his feelings don't matter. I understand that he might be angry, he might feel very sad and depressed about this. He might have a lot to look at in terms of where he's actually at, the way that politics works. I mean, he should know more than anyone. He might feel a certain way. His feelings don't matter.
Just like our feelings don't matter.
And that's kind of what I'm getting to is, it's like you can have feelings, they don't actually matter. The facts matter. It matters that we live in this world and we exist in this world, and we do what we need to do, which is we get this man off the world stage. And just to speak about her, she is left of Biden. She is, and many people do believe he is the most progressive president we've ever had. Lots of people on the news who you know, may have a reason to say this, feel that this was, you know, by far, the most successful presidency of all time in these four years. I do think there's a lot of you know, we're leaning on it. What is happening in gods are the humanitarian crisis. There are weighs heavy on my heart, know that, and we must work harder for the cease fire. At the end of the day Trump would burn the world. He would burn the world. And listen to me now, if you are listening to this podcast and hedging, uh, I want to cradle your face in my hands. He would watch you die, sweetheart, He would watch you die. And I don't say that to scare you, but if it did, okay, you can't like And I'm now militant about it. Actually, And you know, I didn't need more reasons to be angry of Teresa Judaice, but I did see her just like Amber Roses Instagram. Get that woman off my television asap. We're done with Trump.
With l Larca Pippen, You're burnt your toast.
Toast and if we see you, what's on site. I just can't with these clowns. I can't deal with all these.
All these hoes. I can't deal.
What do you think about Kamala being brack coded?
Now here's my honest take.
Go on.
I think the the coconut tree memes were on a parallel track to like all the Edgeball remixes. I mean, I'm not like like that was like and then I think what's happened? And the then diagram as it were, like it all started to become one circle, and I think like all the arms and tentacles of this thing have like collapsed into one shape. And the shape right now is oh, okay, I guess Kamala HQ is running with Brat visuals, with Brat girls summer, with all these things. My honest, honest emotional response, and again my feelings don't matter, and so maybe my thoughts don't matter. But I am flashing back in trauma too. Is this our Pokemon go to the poles? Is this the moment like Pokemon go to the polls?
For me?
That's all. I think they were hot off the heels of the Charlie tweet and maybe that's what's going on. And I'm sure they will change it in like I hope a week or something to some thing totally different and like not quite a right.
Let's not have brat coded visuals in October.
No, no, no.
But you know what I will say, someone as fucking cool and relevant and progressive and you know, international as her coming out right away. That's different than I think we've seen in a long time, and it actually makes me very hopeful that not we're gonna get in line, you know what I mean? It's not that, it's just that we're taking this seriously in a way that's bigger than us. And if it convinces people who are still trying to be too cool for this, then maybe they should take it more seriously, because at least mother is you know what I mean, like, then I'm for it. I don't know if I need Kamala doing the apple dance. I don't want to see it.
There is a line.
I think her best move is to ignore all of the memes, give a moment or two of acknowledging coconuts or unburdened or whatever, and really stay above it and be presidential and just hold Trump accountable and stay very focused on the task at hand, which is still a very difficult thing, which is defeating Donald Trump. And I think let the internet have fun because it seems to be working in a healthy way at this point.
It can turn so quickly, as we know, if what we're fearing is she leans in a little bit too hard on this at an event or something, and you're like, right, oh, and at that point it's fully pokemon go to the polls.
I was having a lot of fun on TikTok yesterday. I was suddenly very active on TikTok. I don't know, I see that, don't And there was a lot of judgment in the voice. There was there was a lot of judgment in the voice. And I'll just call it no because I'm in my truthfulearra.
My tone is you are not going to let and I love you for this, You're not gonna let my tone, and which let's say I did have a tone. I vehemently deny that I had a tone and that I was judging you. But let's say I was. You wouldn't let that stop you?
No, Oh, certainly not. But I will say I was having a lot of fun on TikTok, and I did find myself sort of giving something like this, you my lan trap, but my kick is Kamala. And then I realized so much works with her name, so much works with her name, too much works with her name, And I was like, listen, if we can sort of I don't know if this is a word celebritize her. And there is a lot with her that works for this. I mean with Kamala Harris, what you do get is a sort of glam factor. You get a Saturday Night Live characterization that isn't sorry, like depressing or pathetic, you know what I mean. Like it's not like, oh, look at this clown who's asleep or this monster who's like thank god they found someone to do like what actually kind of a measured characterization of him, Like I think he does an amazing job. I don't think that Alec Baldwin Trump worked at all because it was just so broad and scary and monstrous and weird that it so obviously came from a place of like it just it wasn't working with Maya and Kamala. I think what you get is a really fun game, which is she is a glamazon who maybe is you know, a capital P politician, and that there's a little bit of ego there. But you don't get a sense that she's like dumb, you don't distrust the person doing it. You're actually quite excited to see the person coming on and doing it, which I think there's a historical president for at that show.
What I don't think is precedented is that if you take Hillary, it's like the characterization there and maybe that's this just speaks to like the way that it was accumulating through decades of political life. Like the characterization was like she's shrill, she's bullish, she's like un not likable in all these ways, right right, and like who knows what the dialogue is there, it's hard to parts at the dialogue there between like the reality and like the sketch character of it. But between Kamala and Maya, it's like, well, these are like two like personable people, and like Maya's characterization was never like and this is the credit to people who've helped work on that character. Cough cough, Sudie Green, Yes, but it's like, this is not a shrill this is not like an unlikable, detestable, fucking suckubus of a woman. That like kind of at that like between Hillary and Sarah Palin, which is like I think like the last big the other big like female political impersonation on that show in recent memory. It's like those are like charricatures that get blown up to like literally ridiculous proportions. They are ridiculing these people. With Kamala and with my it's like there is something very that feels nice on the palette. Is how I'm gonna put.
It's fun to watch, you know what I mean? And I will say I did always enjoy the Hillary on the show, but I will say I do think that and this is obviously you have to make it funny first, and it was always funny. But sometimes I worry about like feeding into, you know, a characterization that like reinforces a negative opinion of that person. Yeah, now, mind you on a show like that, it is equal time whatever that means. It's like, I don't know about inviting the candidate on because correct me if I'm wrong, you have to have both on if one of them comes on.
Ah, that's not true.
Oh is it not true? Or like at different times? Obviously, right, right, correct, I don't on the same episode. I thought I remembered something about like if one candidate comes on, you have to have the other one on.
Oh I'm not even sure about that. But yeah, yes, Hillary came and then Trump hosted the same president the same election, and then.
Remember that Reality Holy Funs literally went to that show, went to that taping anyway, and then I guess Obama and John Mckinneyeah, okay, so well, because I don't think Biden came through, right.
Biden never went.
No, Biden has never, at least in the last since two thousand and eight has never been on us at all, right, So I feel like there's something to that, and maybe the fact that it is different now, it's like I feel like, you might we may have enough with just Maya's Kamala and you know, the Trump that we've had on that show for a while. It might be enough. You may not need the real candidate to come through, And especially if it's a situation where, well, if she's gonna come through, then I have to come through, or at least have the I would imagine that you know he's going to take that option, though I will say I do think there is enough anger from the Trump people and there's enough disdain for media that I can see them passing on that opportunity. Similarly to how I can kind of see him backing out of this debate and you see him sort of planning the seeds.
Now, Oh, he's not debating her. He's never debating her, you don't think. So there's a reason why people who get prosecuted a trial usually don't.
Take the stand.
Usually don't take the stand because, like a prosecutor knows what questions to ask or how to like elicit a response out of someone, anyone they're talking to.
Basically, Yeah, then I don't know if this is true, but I hope it's true that if he doesn't want to participate in a scheduled debate, that she still gets that time on national television to address the nation, because I am sure she is obviously itching to do that and obviously would relish the opportunity to prosecute him live in front of America as the felin white collar thug that he is and actually hold him accountable and call him out on the litany of bullshit that our current president was unable to do, which is why we could not move forward with him. So now you have the whole Trump organization running scared because I mean, this old campaign video from twenty twenty came out, and she was not a good candidate then in the totality of things, But there is a moment, and there is a time for that moment to be met, and that kind of feels like now when you look at this old video of her being like, you know, and this is where you kind of appreciate that she is a cop and a prosecutor because she puts people like him away in her sleep. She eats people like him for breakfast. She did have that one very good debate which birth the that little girl was Me moment, and then she quickly sort of plummeted in the polls. I think because Tulsa Gabbard pulled some bullshit on her. One of the biggest flops in modern history. Tulsea Gabbard, I mean, give me a fucking break. But we won't talk about this whole episode in the grand scheme of things, it's just nice to feel like there's a path forward, and it's nice to feel like on the other side of all this cringe, there's gonna be nirvana. And they say that about cringe, and it's my favorite thing I've learned recently, which is, you know, you have to sometimes climb up a huge hill of cringe, and once you can scale that hill, which is, you know, it might be your judgment on yourself, it might be your judgment on what you're doing. It might be everyone saying what you're doing is cringe. On the other end, there is you slide down into happiness in nirvana. And I'm not saying things would be fucking perfect afterwards, but we'd have a country.
I know about working through cringe climbing a cringe mountain. I work at Saturday fucking Night Live, the cringiest thing in show business on every level.
Climbing cringe Mountain. Title of f climbing.
Cringe Mountain, cringe mountain is SNL eternally grateful that I work there will be the defining thing of my life and career. And yet it is a cringe mountain because to live through working at SNL and to have people constantly tell you how much it sucks, how bad it is, how it's not as good as it used to be for your career. You that has to do something to you psychologically where you emerge and go I don't give a fuck.
I feel like, you know what it is. It's like y'all put on wigs and you go all your hard. It's not even but it's not even cringe because of what you do, because I don't think it's cringe. But I will say in what I'm saying, which is that everyone has a fucking opinion. It's the most popular show in the world. It's been now been on for fifty years. It is capital see commercial culture, and therefore it's cringe because everyone is like, I'm having something to say, and it's comedy, and it's subjective, and it's corporate and you know what I mean, and it's all those things. And that's also what we're kind of going through. But on the other side of it, guess what, Bowen, you get to actually the visceral thing of people laugh, people feel good, and that is why we're doing this, and that is why America is worth saving, so that we can protect people and live up to what this actually all is fucking about. And now it's getting very broad, but I'm just saying, like to you, to me, to everyone, fucking get over yourselves and like work at what you do and be proud of what you do, and be proud of who you are, and be proud that you know what's right and wrong. Us King to put it mildly, bless.
Bless, I just want to say one more thing.
I want you to say so many things.
I just want to say one more thing about the cringe theory as it relates to my job and not the fate of this country. So I'm sorry to like you know.
Yeah, the way I sort of like melded those two things, but I do think I.
Do know you really you really brought it home. That was such a slagh. This is what you, me and Sudy have been saying for such a long time. Like all of these fucking guys who like go up on stage and do stand up or would do improvert sketch, like we know this person this let's say he's straight. These guys were like, h, I don't know, Like what I do is cool and edgy. No, bitch, you go on stage and you talk in a microphone in front of people.
That is theater, which is gay. It's gay, so just embrace it. Don't like like that's the analog for cringe in this context. It's like I'm over these people who are just like I don't know. It's like, just do it so that you can, like every now and then you do something because it's not cool and because it actually benefits something outside of you, even though it is locked into all these other like terrible oppressive systems. The motion is up at whatever access, Okay, like just like just do it. Oh, can I tell you something? Can I tell you something? I'm a singing Christmas comedian, I'm cringe. I'm Matt Rogers. I'm cringe, and people buy tickets to my shit and I see them afterwards, and they're living, and you know who else is living me? It's my fucking dream. And had I not climbed the cringe mountain, I wouldn't be looking at my fucking vinyl over there. And I'm not saying this because I feel like I did something which you did. I'm saying this because I'm happier for having gotten out of my own way and not giving a fuck about the bullshit. So what I'm saying is, get out of your own way, stop giving a fuck about the bullshit, climb the cringe mountain that is this election, and that is Kamala often because now guess what, she's fucking brat coded and if you think that's cringe, your feelings don't matter. We're gonna save the world, period. And now I've hit my blunt. If it has not been obvious, what else has happened? Has anything else happened? I haven't. I don't think it's money that sort of reallyd did this just because there's one figure in politics that if I ever hear his name again, and it's not even it's not even one of the top five you're thinking about, maybe it is, but like, ugh, we'll get to it. Okay, what else? Oh, Remy Wolf period.
Soup girl, where have you been? This is not quite as egregious because I think what Matt Rogers will dine out on for the rest of his life is to say that he introduced hordes of people to Chapel Round. This is not quite the same thing. But I've been up in this podcast shouting at Remy Wolf for a bit.
You definitely have. In fact, last week I called out a different Remy Yes and her summer song, and you were like Remy Wolf, and I was like, oh no, but also yes. And I have been aware of Remy Wolf for quite a while, but someone I dated liked her. I think I might have been George.
George loves Remy Yeah, And so.
I've been a Remy Wolf fan in a soft sense. But now, like this new record, it's really great and she deserves to take her place. And I am excited about seeing her live because I heard she puts on the show.
She puts on the show. You need to go go back and listen to her old albums all the way through like this, Oh, I certainly will start to finish wonderful songwriting.
Yeah, And by the way, with the Chapel rowing of it all. I am just happy that people got on board in the way they have. It doesn't even matter for me because you know, you don't know, you don't every single time I say listen, it was a straight man that told me about her. And I say his name with my full chest, Matthew Vaughn, and I say he is due the respect because he actually tried several times, and I was like, girl, please, like, I don't know who that is, and I just can't have you introduce it popularly to me. He was right, he was right. Sometimes you have to listen to these straight men like sometimes they might yeah, they might really know something. And this one knows he knows something about multiple things. Careful the things.
You say careful children will listen, children listen. What else has happened? I've had such a crazy fucking week of my body. Here's what's going on since Italy?
For what do you think it is? Yeah?
I don't know. I mean, it's not a bad thing on its face, like me being like a warning person, but I am like only getting like six hours of sleep, which I know is like a clean rem cycle thing, but it's like I do want to feel refreshed, and I have not felt refreshed in a way.
That's a lot for you. Well, I just fix is a lot for you girl? Not you like it was probably last year or six months ago, eight months ago where you said just plainly that you're used to four. We need to figure that out. Is that anxiety you think or like are you before bed? Like what do you think it is about the sleep?
I think it might be anxiety. It might be my mattress. I think I might have to spop out the mattress for something softer, because yeah, we were shooting a month ago and I was I was laying down in a bed for a scene and it was a soft.
Mattress and I kind of went, wait a minute. You were like, maybe this is what I've needed all along.
It's that thing. It was right under your nose the whole time, not to dapt mattresses.
No, literally, I'm telling you that might be it, because Okay, I'm gonna reveal I actually avoid my apartment in New York now and I think it's actually coloring my New York experience because that mattress hurts me. And this is another thing I'll say about Barry's boot Camp. I am obsessed with Barry's boot Camp. I really feel like I look the best I have and I'm so galvanized and I love going. It is just hard on your body if you're not really taking a long time to stretch. And about a month ago, I was being really relaxed about the stretching and sleeping on a bed in New York that was, let's say, very firm, because the person that owns that place has not a great back and needs a very firm mattress. I don't have that until I'm not stretching and I sleep on a bad mattress. I am now sort of obsessed with LA again, solely because of the mattress here, which is what let me tell you a helix midnight clap clap clap. Not trying to do an ad, but I am giving testimonial in many different ways and saying this actually is the shit. And my sister got one too, and she's happier than ever. Billie Eilish, Hmmm, that sounds like Billie Eilish was your sister there for a second. I don't think that we are, but I'll do the twenty three in me Mmm.
Eilish Irish yes, I am just recalibrating things right now. I really am trying to get gut health in check.
Yeah. I literally I ordered a pooping kit. Yeah, I got a poop. I gotta scoop. I gotta send it back to the lab. Oh, so you're you're doing it. You're pooping in a bag.
I'm pooping in a bag and I'm waiting for my microbiom read out. So I know what I need to focus on in the gut.
I mean, if it's gonna help and yield results, I say, try every fucking thing poop in that bag. Sister.
For my second brain, which is another name for the stomach.
Holy fuck, where did you get that or did you come up with it? No?
No, no, a lot of them got health.
People say that that the stomach is a second brain. You know what. Yeah, because it thinks for itself.
It talks to your brain, and it thinks for itself.
Wow. I love that your stomach is your second brain. Honey. Sometimes my stomach has a bad ideas. Let me tell you something.
Sometimes my stomach is my you know, first brain, and sometimes my brain is my second stomach.
No, we talked about this, because we did. We did, remember we talked about this. I told you, Oh, maybe I said this to Jared, but I told you, Okay, I'm just gonna I'm gonna be really honest because I'm in my honesty era. I'm tiktoking a lot m h. And I'm here of saying go kamala. So I'm just gonna come out here and say this. Within this year, I have, let's put it like this, lost my shit and it happened very close to my actual bathroom, and it took me by surprise.
You did tell me about this.
I shit my pants actually because I had eaten badly the night before and I had a cold brew, and I was actually I knew it was going to be an emergency. And so I was in the elevator and I was like, oh my god, this cannot move fast enough, and it quite in fact could not, because in my elevator in New York. Let's just say, I ruined my Brooks Marks pants And I'm sorry Brooks.
It was. It has nothing to do with you.
It had nothing to do with you. In fact, I would say, I felt so comfortable in your stuff, you.
Know what I mean.
And I also know I'm putting this out there and I'm sort of getting very fecal, and I'm sort of joining my sister in fecal confessions.
In confessions and one more, thinking that Brooks marks thing. His initials are BM, and they're all over the pants, And that's what you had.
I hadn't even considered that until now.
BM.
And that's actually real culture number nineteen BM. Yeah. So, but luckily he had sent three pairs, so I still have my other two but to go. So what I'm saying is my stomach was acting as a second brain where it actually I'm telling you I was thinking so hard with my brain and trying so hard with pretty much every part of my body including it, my stomach was making executive decisions.
Executive function was in the stomach.
And the butthole was an accomplice.
Yeah, I mean that is like, you know, I think like parasympathetic, like your butt, kind of like I was at the butthole head of mine of its own. But I think the stomach is the one pulling all the string. Stomach is like the twist villain at the end of a movie, like it was her all along.
Yeah, guys, say something. I know this was not everyone's favorite episode the Tyler Henry Hollywood Medium episode. I know that it was not everyone's favorite episode. Not everyone liked that health came up during that reading.
It's iconic.
He said to me, you need to watch your stomach and your gut stuff. And I was like, okay, And I do think now it's sort of an iconic moment because let me tell you, Hm, the spirits.
Got me on that one. Let me tell you that DUDELRD knows what he's talking about.
But wait, can I say this is another reason he has the gift. This is another reason why you can't be eating bad at night. And I ask you, do you ever eat like really late or eat garbage at night?
And I'm sure you okay, But this is this is all part of my own pooping in a bag journey. Like I'm really I really want to get into not I'm not like Aura rain Coat and I'm not about to get my fucking like all my biometrics so I can optimize and shit, I just want to know. I just want to poop in a bag and know what my microbiome is. That's I really just want to know names. I want to know like ooh, I'm going to eat more spear leane at like whatever.
Yeah, yeah, well first of all, like, yeah, it's going to improve your life exponentially. One thing you can definitely do, though, like right on the outset, one thing you can definitely do is just not eat before you go to bed, because I do think that that look just confronting our mid thirties head on, there's something with that. It's like my stomach when that when I was doing that, and I've had to fight, especially as someone who loves a reefer in the nighttime.
It's hard.
You cannot eat before you go to bed because your stomach is so pissed off in the morning, and you wake up so much earlier than you would have. Yes, because your stomach's making decisions.
Of course, second brain, if you are going to eat something little baby tomato, little carrot stick, a little grape, that'll do yet.
Yes, you know what what You're right and literally you know what, I've become really obsessed with cucumber, bitch.
You've never eaten a vegetable more refreshing.
Literally, it's hydrating, it's esthetically pleasing, it's easy to prepare and get this. You can even dress up your cucumber. This is what you do I feel like Anthony Porowski. Yeah, I've actually never felt more like Anthony than recently. We love it a negative. I don't care. I'm climbing Cringe Mountain and I'm sliding down the other end. I love him.
Guess who climbed Cringe Mountain?
Anthony? And guess who's got many books out and looks like Anthony. Come on. Sometimes I see pictures of him and I'm like, well, there he is the world's hottest man. And it's okay. It's okay anyway. Irrespective of that, people think that about me all the time. It's literally like that's something the three of us all share. It's okay. What I'm saying is, this is what you do. You chop up your cucumber.
I'm with you.
You get a little hot sauce.
I I think I'm with.
You, like mild, And I'm not talking about like go crazy. I'm talking about like some chilula. Even you put a little bit of chilula on the thing, a little bit of salt and pepper, a little bit of salt and pepper. But then what you do is you just rub the cucumbers all up around in the hot sauce. And stuff, so it's almost like dressing. It's like almost like like buffalo cucumber and then you eat the cucumber. It is the best snack. It's actually a nominee for best Snack. Yes, bo, how would you see it on the card? That snack cucumbers with hot sauce, A little salt and pepper.
Felt like that, A little salt andn pepper, like eating buffalo cucumber.
Yeah, I don't know if. I don't know if I would go as far as to call it buffalo cucumber, because I think what you immediately think of is fried cauliflower.
And I can't this is still on the card. This is still the nominee name. No no no no no no no.
I personally and all of a sudden, a nominee has like a subheader, like a below the fellowship of the ring. This is cucumber, buffalo sauce, but the thing is a little bit of salt and pepper. And then thought, it's like a Fiona Apple album.
It's album.
Well, anyway, I swear by this snack and I learned it from my father. I got it from my daddy. Let me tell you something. If you climb Crans Mountain, you slide down the slide. That's what I think is on the other end of Cridge Mountain like a slide, like a really fun slide. I'm very into slide culture recently because I went on a vacation where they had a water slide and you saw me at the Bahamar the first time we went. You know, I, you know, I'll do any water slide.
You love a slide, love it slide case.
I don't care what it does to my back in regards to scratches, I really don't like. I love going down a slide. I love what was it? There was something I recently did where I was like, oh, it was when we were in Sicily. I never did jump off that big rock.
The big rone. I don't think you needed to do that. It's a big rock.
But you know I was diving off the smaller rock.
Yeah, and you were having a great time and that I think sometimes you got to you gotta cap it and be like that's enough for me.
Yeah, Like there was no real reason for me to dive off a rock that was how high would you say that was? That was like seventy feet high, seventy feet seven stories, Matt, Come on, you don't need to do that.
Yeah, you really don't.
There's a little part of me. This is who the little kid in me is. And this is maybe different from the way you were, but not I don't think so. The little kid in me was like an aspiring daredevil, like I wanted, was obsessed with doing like bungee jumping, and like really couldn't wait to jump out of a plane, to the point where I jumped out of a plane at eighteen. Yeah, and it's I've never been the same. It was horrible, horrible.
You're not human beings aren't supposed to do that.
What's the most extreme thing you've ever done?
I really don't think I am. I've done extreme things.
I guess maybe you know what if I could use conjecture on you, Yeah, have you ever done like black diamond skiing? Sure, then maybe that maybe that what if you can think of the sensation of that? Are you comfort? No? See?
I hate it?
So it certainly can't get shouldn't get darker and worse? You mean like double black diamond, Like what I'm saying is like darker in terms of like why we're doing this, like like throwing yourself out of a plane is dark. It's so dark, that's what you're saying. Yeah, it's like it's like bungee jumping. It's a little dark. It's like, why are we doing anything where you're not gonna die? But like more likely you could.
Die, much more likely now that you could die, and for however long you're doing this activity.
I think anytime you yourself become a flying projectile at high speed, you've placed yourself in a more digs for death. Correct, were now at the level of high risk.
And the high risk is relative of course, but like you just have to think about relative to what because relative to you being on the ground, so much higher capacity and possibility for death. If you're up in the sky and about to judge otup a plane, I think about what it felt like to careem through the sky. I sometimes you remember walk us through, Honey, I remember the whole You know, there's video of it. I have to find the DVD and put it online.
It is first of all, it's me at eighteen, fresh from graduating, so closeted, like he's in the voice doing the giving shows, giving shows like they strapped me because you have to do tandem I'm sure I've told this before, but like they strap a man on you, so you go tandem. This guy had this highest spikiest like hair. I joked that I don't remember his name, but the only name I can give him in retrospect is Trask. He seemed like a Trask to me.
First of all, you have a thing with the name Trask. You love Trass hasn't come through before. I'm flashing back to all these moments before. We're like in like a sketcher, like in an improv show or something. You'll be like, I'm Trask, and I'm like, Okay, this guy loves the oc or he loves East of Eden. Something he loves Oliver Trask.
You know, whenever I'm Trask, and know that if Bowen and I ever write or create anything, wink wink, and there's someone named Trask, that character, there's something about that character. If we ever have a character Trask and you ever in media, if Trask ever appears, know that that's for a reason, because this guy was such a Trask. We the way that you skydive and I went with my like all my male friends and my one girlfriend, Laurenne, and you have to sit thirty thousand, No, thirteen, what is it thirteen thousand feet in there? When you skide, I have thirty thousand. When you like shave, you have to sit on like like they open the door and you sit with your legs dangling nothing beneath you, and then you go, you literally go, you rock one, rock two, and then you are supposed to front flip out of a plane. And then after the one flip, you sort of like toss your arms and legs back and sort of get into like almost like you're a super Bowl belly down. That's like the position you're supposed to be in with someone on your back. That sensation you sort of adjust to six or seven seconds in because it starts to feel like when you put your hand out of a car window on the highway, just that air you start to just feel. Once you adjust to the zero gravity, you start to just feel that all over your body. Then it gets a little fun. Then, by the way, this is all on tape. Then they pull the parachute. And what they don't tell you is when they pull the parachute going.
It fucking pulls you.
Yes, but that's not even the worst part. Yes, there is a jostling and you get pulled and you like land.
There is a.
Ten to twelve second feeling of euphoria that you did it. Now, then you realize the worst is yet to come, hun because you're still three thousand feet off the fucking ground and there is nothing Benya few, but there is a man on your back and he's Trask, babe, and Trask doesn't play by the rules. Something to know about Trask. Trask has the ability to sort of like make you go left and right and even in some cases do like flip as you go down. They'll ask you if you want that. It's just whether or not you're an eighteen year old closeted person whose number one goal in life is to make straight men feel like you're okay, you know what I mean. If you're not that person, you might say something like no, no, no, oh my gosh, I've had enough. Let's just float down on not really feeling great. Or you could be that person and you say for sure and you were when what person were you?
You were? You were that good? You were for sure?
Me? I was me? That was me? Then this was me because I floated down for nine minutes, dry heaving, vomiting in my shirt with this man on my back, spitting into my t shirt, coughing, spurting, spitting, gagging for nine minutes until we landed. And then when I land, I have to find this video. When I land, the camera picks me up again and I'm cross eyed. I pull myself off off the ground and then are you gonna do it again? And I just give a thumbs up like this, get the screenshot. Ough, I just give a thumbs up like yep, I'll be back, and then they freeze frame on my face. By the way, the song that's playing is like We're going to the place where we belong Hell. Like that's like the song that's like being sung. I just made that up, but that was the genre. And like, I've never felt worse or more terrified in my life than in that moment. It's all on tape. And that is when I developed fear. That moment is when I developed physical, atmospheric fear. I always had emotional fear again closet at eighteen, but this was different. I no longer identified as someone who wanted to push any limits.
That is to me and please tell me if I'm out of line. So fortunate that you have have this on tape, because guess what that moment is.
Tell me what it is, and tell everyone too.
Well, there's climbing cringe mountain, and then there's jumping out of cringe airlines. Yep, and you jumped out of cringe airlines at the literal peak of your cringe, which was I need to make sure these straight boys still like me and think I'm funny and want to hang out with me. Yes, And I hope trask Like doesn't mind that I like the way his crotch feels on my butt.
I have to tell you, I couldn't have been less horny. I was getting spurting, vomiting and spitting in the air. I wasn't even thinking about Dixon my butt and later I would all the time.
Of course, much not soon after that moment. I'm sure I you literally were throwing up on yourself, your own fucking discharge covering you. Oh yeah, being humiliated by these men who ask you after this life threatening violatory experience you've had go want to do that again, and you have no choice but to throw your thumbs up because your psyche has been so for an entire life bludgeoned by patriarchy. That is all on tape, so you can watch it, you can document, but like you can you literally have something outside of your own memory of it that exists where you can point to that and be like, this is the day that I climbed Cringe Mountain, that I jumped out of Cringe airlines. Yeah, you are a better person for it.
Oh, I one, because I'm alive. Who knows at that rate had I enjoyed that? Get this? This is the part where the story gets really fucking crazy. So one of my friends, Kevin, loved the experience. And the guys were telling us about their job, the people that would jump tandem. We were like, how many times do you guys do this a day? Tras goes nineteen times a day is usually how many times I do that? I go, holy fucking shit, And I guess it computed to us as these guys do this every day. Let's say they work four or five times a week, nineteen times a day they jump out of a plane. I don't know, let's say one hundred times a week, and they've all done this for a while. It just doesn't happen that there's accidents, right, you know what I mean, Like, clearly, this is just like any other recreational activity. It's like go into a theme park and strapping into a roller coast. You're actually safer there than you are on the open road. Got it. It's a monitored thing. Never mind the paperwork they make you signed before you can even do it. That's like if you die, you can't see. Never mind that it doesn't happen. Kevin went again, I babe. When they landed, which they did, thank god. The guy goes to him, dude, we had to go to the backup shoot. He goes, what he goes? We had to go to the backup shoot. I pulled the first shoot. The thing didn't come out. It has never happened to me before. I'm not gonna lie. There was about a ten second period where I was really scared, on your back, really scared, and then I just got my wits about me and pulled the backup shoot, and thank god I remembered where it was, et cetera. Like that. I just but the point being they had to go to the backup shoot. What what? And he never went again.
This is the perfect thing to unpack. Yeah for you, for the state of the world.
You don't have to jump out the mountain like it just because you think it's going to be exciting. It's okay. Let someone else jump about the plane, about the plane, you mean, jump about that, jump about the planet. You'll know what we're saying.
I mean, if you don't have to climb Cringe Mountain, if you don't have a Cringe mountain in your horizon, bless you. I hope I pray that you never have to climb Cringe Mountain.
No, I think everyone should climb Cringe Mountain. Everyone should climb Cringe Mountain.
Well, yes, this is like my theory on like queerness, like not everyone has to be queer, and not everyone will be queer, but they should be. I think that would be nice, you know, Like that's how I feel. Yeah, but it's not like it's obviously not prescriptive and there's no agenda there.
It's but then what would set us apart.
If everyone's queer? No one is? Well anyway, I hope you don't have to climb Cringe Mountain, is what I'm saying. But everyone should because more likely than not, you will. You will come across it in your travels and the travails of your life. Cringe mountain will be right before you. You will be at the base of it, and you have no choice but to climb.
Or stan or stan And I guess, oh, this is the last thing I want to say about it. You know who absolutely was there. The only parents to come watch it was Richard and Katrina Rogers, Ritchie and Trina showed up and they were like, no, we're gonna watch it. I think my mom had in her head that like and I used to have this when I was a kid too. Sometimes, like I as a little kid would every time my mom left to go to the store, would I would be like, I'm coming, and she was like, you don't have to come, and I was like, no, I'm coming. And I think in my head I was like, if I'm in the car, there can't be an accident. Oh yeah, oh yeah, of course invincible kid syndrome. And you think like, I'm gonna protect my mother by going in the car with her, Like, I know if I'm there will be okay, because nothing can back it up into me, right. I think that my mom thought like, well, I'm gonna go watch it so I can actually see it, and it won't be such a big deal. Can you imagine if your parents are there when you throw yourself out of a plane and hit the ground.
I mean, I was going to say that they're very good parents for coming and showing up and watching.
No, they are, but that's even more sad.
No, No, that's just love. Is not sad. They love you. They love you.
Have you ever seen in the movie Simon Birch. No, it's about a boy who's different mmmm, and he plays baseball and he gets on the team. He finally gets on the team. It's like they accept him and his best friend's mother is played by Ashley Judd. And at the end of the movie, like Simon Birch finally gets to like hit the ball. He gets to go bat. Simon Birch connects with the ball, hits the ball. It's a beautiful moment.
WHOA.
The ball goes into this guy in the parking lot. Ashley Judd is getting out of her car. The ball kills her. H's Ashley Judd in the temple of her head. It but when they run over to Ashley Judd. Everyone runs over to Ashley Judd. The coach like takes her pulse. She's dead. Simon Birch looks at his best friend, whose mother is dead and played by Ashley Judd, and he says I'm sorry and runs away forever. That's what you get for being a good parent, showing up to the games. You get a foul ball in the temple. You die for no reason.
Simon Birch was released on September eleventh, nineteen nineteen.
Wait a minute, that is such a tragic day. Can I say you? It's only closer number fifty September eleventh. That is such a tragedy.
Tragic day.
I did not know that Ashley Judd's character dies. Can you read this? Just vindicate me? Here the synopsis go to the end. Okay, just by the way, Sorry everyone. Spoiler for Simon Birch, a film released on September nineteen ninety eight. Really the height of Ashley Judd.
During baseball, Simon hits the perfect pitch. It becomes a foul ball that hits Rebecca in the.
Head, killing her. Simon gives Joe his price to baseball cards as an apology, which Joe gives Simon the stuffed armadillo as forgiveness. I mean, he's not forgiven, for he hit a murdered.
No, he didn't murder this.
You can't even go to this is an accident.
She murdered her bad.
And it was cold blooded murder. Keep reading because it gets worse. Joe can't, Joe couldn't forgive Simon. Keep going, Jo.
Joe's grandmother informs Joe that her own death is eminent due to her age, and there must be a plan for him once her time comes. As Rebecca never told anyone who Joe's father was, even in confidence. Simon believes that Joe's father may have taken the baseball that killed Seeming their gym teacher a fitting candidate, they break into his office to see if he has it, but it isn't there. Overwhelmed with despair, Joe vandalizes the office. The police chief agrees to release them if they go to the children's retreat over winter break. There's a lot of plot happening in this.
I thought that was the end of the movie. I guess not.
No, there's two more paragraphs. Babe, Wow, this is well. Just look at how it ends ends.
Please.
While Simon and Joe are riding the bus, helmet crashes into the lake with the driver abandoning the bus and Russell unconscious. Simon takes command and gets everyone out with Joe's help Wow, but nearly drowns while saving last child. Joe visits a dying Simon in the hospital, remarking how his small size worked to his advantage in evacuating the kids. They bit each other farewell before Simon dies. Joe's grandmother passes away that summer, and he's adopted by Ben just before his thirteenth birthday. Back in the present day, with adult Joe at Simon's grave, Joe's son, named after Simon, reminds him that he has a soccer game, and they drive away. As the film ends, don't.
Go to the game an errand ball might kill you if you're a mother.
And then don't go to the children's cheat because the bus home might crash into a lake.
Have you ever heard something crazier in your life than the plot of that film? Uh?
Yeah.
The twenty twenty four election period, bitch, you age? What what's ninety nine minus ninety one?
Hold on eight?
Thank you? It's time for I don't think so, honey. This has been you know, this has been one of those episodes that did it all i'd say.
I absolutely agree with you, and right before we go into I don't think so, honey, I do have to. And I know we quote this like once every couple of years, but someone did just randomly post for no reason. Really, I'm just posted the scene of Valerie Cherish walking into the HBO offices in season two of The Comeback, and it is I think the funniest scene, one of the funniest TV scenes in history.
Started it all, Sopranos started it all.
Sex and the City started it all. I guess I'm one of the girls now. Then she laughs, and then she goes over to the Sopranos. Sopranos started it all at all different way way.
Oh, and she turns. Then she turns to like like true blood or something. She goes, I don't know that one, or that's what she was like, No, don't know that one.
I don't know of course.
Nila Durham, at first she goes, oh this, Oh, here we go, and she sees the poster, turns to the camera and goes, new Girls.
Girl. Maybe the funniest part of the whole scene, which I totally forgot about.
I love her New Girls.
Leela Durham I think it's Lena. That's what I said, Lena, no see and she looks at the poster. It's the perfect scene in terms of like character ship too. It's like, you know everything about Valerie Cherish in this in this one scene and she only says like twelve words total. I mean, first of all, Valerie Cherish is one of the greatest characters in television history. It needn't even be said period. There is really no world. And oh my god, I just thought to myself, there's no world. Why she doesn't have an Emmy for that. Congratulations of my sister on your Emmy nomination, the third one in this category, fourth overall.
Thank you, sister, very honored.
Only six nominees and like fucking Boon and Yang.
I really didn't think it was I really didn't think it was gonna happen because I, like, I checked, you deserved it. Here's what happened. I checked one prognosticator and like whatever I had, Like I have my Google alert for myself, just you know, just so I'm on top of it. And like in the little clipping of the article that'll always say like you're like whatever your name, whatever the Google term is, and then like this this is the word surrounding it, and like I was like, oh, like based off of one little like gleaning of it. I was just like, I don't think it's happening this year. No problem, it's a weird it's a weird year.
I did see you were on the bubble. I of course, look, I just I was on the bubble Emmy Race and you were on the bubble. But I was like, oh, I really just hope that like people actually remember how good your work was because you deserved it. And I'm so happy, thanks queen. I feel like I had my best season. I think you did.
I was really proud of this last season. So I'm really honored. And it's this thing where let's get real, let's get honesty zone. Like I brought this up in therapy because like I had this whole thing leading up to like the nomin I knew, I knew a day they weren't gonna announce, and I was like, cool, got it. But I'm not gonna like emotionally build up anything towards that because I'm just like I know what this is like and like, yeah, it doesn't happen.
It's like to get it and not get.
It exactly, and getting it is the whole thing too of like, well, like am I putting too much meaning in that? So basically I went into therapy the next day being like, I like, have this thing I want to talk about here where I'm like, I had this flash of a thought in my head that it was like should I feel bad for feeling good? And then my therapist was like like raised his eyebrow. He was like, well, there you get like I think you just answered your own question. I was like, oh yeah, Like why would I get in the way of that. I just mean, like in terms of like reading up about award shows right now, which is a fun thing I'm doing for reasons that don't really have to do with culture wards. It's just I was given reading material Michael Schulman's Oscar Wars fabulous, so good, so readable, very thick and encyclopedic, but like the way he writes is so narrative and fun.
I'm going to pick that up right away. I'm in the market for a new reason.
It's wonderful, Matt. You're gonna fucking love it, Like you know, the reason the Academy was starting the first place was to like prey on like an industry of fragile egos and reward them with something annually so that they can like be motivated to like produce work at a level that like was not very reasonable at the time. And it was like both an anti censorship body great, but also an anti union body bad. So it's like it's so complicated. But like the reason Louis B. Mayor and all these people started the studio had started the oscars was because it was like a way to like literally create this validation system that is meant to make people feel good or bad and so.
And in that way you also create an industry.
Totally, and that's what's happened, and that's what has happened in other industries outside of film, and wow, crazy like so fascinating. And then that ties into all this like therapy stuff that I'm talking about where I'm like I was really like meditating on it and like really like working outside of any model like feeling validated by it because I was like I think, like I'm really proud of my work. That's all that matters. No one else can define that for me. I am so not even like above it because I'm certainly not but I was just like I was so removed from it that I was like, I can put it over there and if it and if the nice thing happens, great, If it doesn't, no problem, Like I'm totally your perspective.
It was developed and.
Good exactly, especially after for the thirty year in a row producing and hosting an award show, a fake awards show that has this thin gauzy layer between taking itself just seriously enough and not seriously at all, and also.
Exists to satirize that concept.
Yes, well yeah, and then and then like thinking about like the Emmys or the real thing it's like, or any real awards system, it's like that that that thin layer is just moved to a different place. It's just a different balance of seriously and not seriously. So I say all this, and my therapist just goes, well, Bowen, it's entertainment, like you like you doing your award show is entertainment. It's kind of the same idea like everywhere like it is it is to entertain people. It's a show. And I'm like totally and that and that like was kind of liberating where I was like, oh, I'm part of a show.
You're part of a show, and also just to actually, you know, for a second, I'm part of that. It deserves you're shot of the show, I mean, And yes, that's what we're talking about, the same thing. You're part of the show because the industry that you're in and your peers respect you so much and think, if we're going to represent who we are, he should be there. And I it's interesting to hear you talk about it because I feel similarly. In fact, I did just say the other day what's crazy about the business is especially for a comedians coming in, you know, I would be really interested to talk to some of our comedian friends who ended up being in that arena. It's so wild because when you're coming up, the thing that makes you successful, I think, and the thing that's the north star and the thing that you all share is you don't take yourself that seriously and then you're able to really show who your authentic self is and you're able to really tap into what makes you special because you know what, you actually climb the cringe mountain in that moment and got rid of your checkpoints in order to let yourself be who you are and then yes, maybe be viable in the business that you work in, and then when you are, you look around and people take themselves.
So so.
Seriously to the point where you're like, wait, there wasn't just one way into this, and a lot of people have been validated in a different way, and so they're gonna approach this in a different way. So when I hear real stories about people campaigning for awards who drive themselves nuts and make themselves so unhappy, I just think, what a shame that they don't have perspective on this thing. But also at the same token, you want it. I mean, Amy Poehler has an amazing take on this in her book. Ye It's like she talks about like you know, she Amy Poehler really doesn't win a lot of awards. She's nominated a lot, but I feel like the Emmys have not come as freely to her as they have come to like a lot of her peers. For example, I saw this stat the other day that Maya like wins Emmys like he left and right, and now she's nominated again a bunch, And we all know Tina has a ton of Emmies. Amy won like a golden globe. And then outside of that, there hasn't been much, and she was talking about it like it's like you're almost resentful of it, like it's exciting because it's basically like telling a kid like there might there's gonna be cookies and some of you are gonna get to eat the cookies, but only if you're good, and it's like wow, beforehand, I didn't even.
I didn't want the cookie. I didn't I didn't want the cookie.
I didn't care. I was like just playing in the yard with my friends. Now there's cookies inside and only a couple of us are going to get it, and it's merit based kind of yeah, you know what I mean. It's weird. It's a weird thing. And then the original taking that seriously is like is like unfortunate. But also you want the fucking cookie because the cookie is gonna taste good and this cookie, if you eat it, you like get hotter. It's like there's some incentive because of the way the industry is gonna feel about you once you've in particular cookie. It's loaded. It's weird.
Yeah, it's loaded. It's weird. And like there's even a lot of healthy conversation now about like I'll just say, for the way that like SNL fits in a category like the comedies, where right, it's one thing that SNL like is not evaluated, should not be evaluated frankly on the same level as like these like narrative script in narrative comedies. And yeah, and again that's not to.
Say that's not to say that you're not grateful for sure, and that you don't deserve it. It's just the way they characterize it and categorize it rather is bizarre characterizing category.
Yes yes, yes yes. And it's also this other thing of like there's this whole existential thing that's happening with like the comedy categories and the like as well. It's like there's two different things and so like it's a really like it's really refracted for me, and I'm kind of like, okay, I'm just like happy to be yeah along for the ride, even because none of this makes any sense. Yeah, like everyone in my cast should also be nominated. Frankly, Like I do have this weirdness around like knowing for a fact that like I represent one very specific way that SNL is represented and it only works if it has this multitude of all those ways. And like everyone who works there and I mean this, and I've always thought this. I mean this from the bottom of my heart. I feel like everyone who works at SNL is really really just trying to like put on a good show at the end of the day, and that's it.
Yeah.
Sorry, I'm getting so stone and I'm like, I'm like, no, I think, but I think.
I think it's very like real and I hadn't thought about it like that, you know what I mean. It's like, there are so many pieces that come together to deliver that, especially at that show, and there really should be. I think if you're gonna have a variety sketch category and a variety writing category, it only makes sense to have a variety performance category, like because to compare your performance and like Eben moss Backrax performance is odd. You wouldn't do that unless it was a show that you were making up to give out trophies, you know what I mean. And so if we're gonna do that, then like at least put like a category there that could actually honor more talent. Yeah, because so many, so many people on that show deserve that honor. But the characterization of what constitutes a supporting performance in that comedy is just like not neces necessarily one to one inclusive of whatever one does.
And also variety performance does not. I don't think it necessitates any sort of like lead supporting, like oh thing at all. It can just be its own categories. If you if we don't move out of this gender binary categorization, then like it should just be two categories, you know what I mean. It's like, then just do the male and female like whatever that is, so it's just two more. I don't know anyway that this is like these are like late thoughts that Matt and I have.
There should be an individual performance category for not only just for SNL, for like late night hosts, for Cynthia Arrival performing on the Kennedy Center Honors, yea for Cynthia Orrivo is singing Alfie, she should be nominated for an Emmy, Like it's silly that it's television. Yeah, And they used to have this category and they used to give these out and so why wouldn't you, Why wouldn't you mm hmm. But anyway, and I do think that you would have an Emmy by now if there was that category, but regards and I think you obviously would have won this year because you're the only one nominated, So just saying like, there's a way to better quantify these things that then you could have more talent represented across the board, and then the show gets more fun. I think exactly exactly. Anyway, this is now we're doing. I don't think so honey. No, not things honey, And I've decided I don't want to do the one I was gonna do. I was gonna say, I don't think so honey, Joe Mansion, do not fucking run, you clown. That's all I want to say. And I'm just gonna do a more fun I don't think so honey, because.
OK, this is Matt Rogers. I don't think so honey. As time starts now, I.
Don't think so honey myself on last week's episode because I did not talk enough about how much fun we had on our vacation. We had so much fun in our vacation, and I feel like I talked mostly about the bags because they were missing at that moment and it was frustrating.
And it was moments before we were on the mic you got that call, oh that.
And it was moments before I would like to retract my energy and like to contribute this energy. We stayed at the most beautiful resort in Sicily, and we both worked hard to be able to be there, and I'm happy that we were able to get out of our own way and really enjoy that and look at the fuck where we were. The last night, I looked out at the water at the sea, and I was just like, my god, this is stunning. And I inspired myself. I was like, I want to go more places. I want to put myself out there more in terms of travel. It was a shift that really moved me forward in that regard. I loved swimming in that sea. I just loved it. I loved all the food, I loved the people, and I just had the best time and seconds and like, yes, Amstdam was incredible, I've been there before. Taylor was amazing. But I just wanted to like shine a light on the trip and how much fun I had with my friends and I love everyone that I was with and I just don't think so, honey, to any thought, that's.
Not that, that's one minute. Well, I am so happy to hear that. And for me, like you and travel, Yeah, it didn't occur to me before, Like I always feel like you are such a you have such a worldly mind, and yet you I feel like you are entering this era now where you're like you want to see the world. Do you want to like participate in that activity of like traveling?
You know, you guys, there was a minute where it looked like maybe we were going to get to go to Paris for the Olympics, and then that didn't work out, But I was excited about it. I just I want to go to lots of places. I think, you know what happened, Like last year, I went to Sydney and I loved it so much, and I was like, I had been to London a few times that year. I was like, I need to travel internationally more because I've just seen what happens when it feels like that moment passes people by, Like I'm from a very blue collar Long Island family where we only ever really vacationed in Florida. I mean, I was going to California was huge when I was twenty two, Like, oh, you only ever went to Florida. And I just feel like, you know, that's not a given with people.
I think that's a.
Thing is It's like, you know, I used to feel like I was climbing Cringe Mountain, you know, saying like making the jewel, like hah, I've only ever been to Epcot. I could only go to Epcot like my parents Thatcot, you know what I mean. So now it's like I don't know, like I'm connecting with therapid bitch and me and wanted to do more things. And it's it was just when I heard myself back on the episode, when I listened to it for edits, I felt I was like sick to my stomach the whole time. I was like, God, I hate myself. You would because that was not my experience.
I loved it, but that was you being so fresh from like bad news, from like sitting in this like horrible feeling, which was not having your possessions, and like it's not that you're like a materialistic person, it's just that like our belongings like have this emotional hold on us.
Yeah, and there were other personal things going on that hadn't been sorted and everything's amazing now, but like you know, it's just that was not a good day. And I didn't want that to be the final word on that trip because I had an unbelievable time.
Yes, do you have.
I don't think so, honey.
I do. I do.
I love I love this energy before are you start one? I know it makes me very like achieves me. It makes my nipples hard. This is Bowen Yang's I don't think so, honey. His legendary time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
What's this gay guy thing where like, you know for a fact you've talked to this person on the internet in some capacity, whether it's a dating app or it's an Instagram DM or something. It's like and you see them mountain the wild and all they can do is just like furtively glance at you and like, what like this is an endemic thing with all gay men. It's like, can we just like can we just like not make it weird? If you know someone, you know someone and go up to them and like say hello, seconds like we're there's just this like I don't know, maybe we're just shy and we're we're we're like prone to hedging when it comes to these social situations. But it's like, I think we can just fifteen not do the thing if pretending like you know, you've never engaged on the internet before. This thing happens. I mean, this maybe is particularly New York City, but this just happened to me last night at Public Records, Carrie Nation was playing. They were wonderful, but I was just like there was just that moment happening with a bunch of times I'm like, oh, no, we know each other and you can just say.
Hello, Yeah that's a minute.
But wait, like how bizarre? How bizarre? Like you and I have interacted, and like we both know that we've interacted, and so where's this coming from?
I don't know. Yeah. And also a little bit of the messaging there is I was talking to you online and now I saw you in person and you're not all that, so I don't want to talk to you, right, That's a little bit of the messaging, and I think a little.
That's how I feel, you know what I mean?
Is that?
Is that?
Maybe what it is?
Yeah? Maybe?
Oh yeah. It's totally a thing on like my own self worth, where I'm like, well, I guess I'm not interesting enough to be talked to, you know, Like it's it's yeah, like like that, it's that. It's just like it's the way it makes you feel about yourself, and that's extra self conscious and it was already hard to fucking come here, I know, anyway, blast but yeah no, And because ultimately you do climb Cringe Mountain, it's start to slow roll down the hill. But that's literally a climbing Cringe Mountain moment where you're like, oh God, and this now we're slow rolling down the hill because we've crested it. I just saw Inside Out too, and I thought it was so good and Maya Hawk's characterization of anxiety was amazing. I loved that fucking movie and I was dragging my feet to see it and then I saw it and it was pure delight.
Love that.
Ugh.
Well, that's all reparenting. And this has been an episode of Lost Culturistas that has been all about this reparenting society, reparenting ourselves.
It's all about that, and the way you do that is through community. And speaking of community, And when'sday U, MEI and study, you are going to have dinner, and I know we're gonna have dinner, But do you want to see Twisters?
Yes?
We should do that. Yeah, we should see Twisters, guys. And next week Twisters it's gonna be covered and maybe it'll even be a summer of cunt, although I will say it's gonna be hard with the schedules because maybe we can figure it out. Maybe maybe, but it might be an autumn of cunt.
Just trust and believe that it's coming, because it has never been more cunt than this summer.
Yeah, well, it's actually a very it's in terms of Matt and Bow and Sudi, it's been a very cunty. Yeah, couple weeks especially, and it's feeling good. The thing about Sudie Green is she's currently writing for the show Loot and is going to be on set working on Loot, and also maya may be busy with a character that Sudi had helped her with in the past, so it might be a very suity twenty twenty four. It's gonna be a Sudi Q three Q four. It's a Sudi phenomenon. A what aenomenon.
We love you so much to be in every episode with the song.
He like you better vote for Kama La.
It's a Kamala enomenon.
Anyways, Anyways, your feelings don't matter.
Bye bye. Last Cultureasis is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and I Heart Radio.
Podcasts, created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang Executive produced by Anna Hasnier and Hans Soni.
Produced by Becka Ramos, edited mixed by Doug Baby, Manila Board and our music
Is by Henry Komirski
