When you are strolling though Netflix looking for a movie and you come across one with two beautiful actors set in an exotic location you think, “This should be good”. Sometimes you are right, and you find a hidden gem. But sometimes you are wrong and come up with a dirty piece of gravel. At least you feel strongly one way or the other. This movie does not fall into either one of these categories. This is what I call a “Nothing Movie”, and that is the worst movie to review.

If a movie is good, it is exciting to talk about, and if it is terrible, it is exciting to talk about. But if it evokes no emotion at all, who cares?

I am not a huge fan of Laura Dern, but she has been good in everything I’ve seen her in. The main two that come to mind are Jurassic Park with dinosaurs and Wild at Heart with Nicolas Cage. Liam Hemsworth was good in the Hunger Games movies, and Expendables 2. In none of the movies I named were Dern and Hemsworth the main thing you were looking at.

In Lonely planet they are doing the heavy lifting. They have to have chemistry. They have to be interesting. We have to care about the decisions they make, and the outcome of what they do.

Laura Dern plays Katherine Loewe, a successful writer who goes to a writer’s retreat to break her writers’ block and finish her novel after a messy breakup. Liam Hemsworth plays Owen Brophy, some sort of investor that is never quite explained. His girlfriend Lily, played by Diana Silvers has written a best seller and has dragged Owen to the same retreat. Owen is an outsider in this situation and is left to walk around trying to find a cell signal so that he can buy a property for the investment company he works for. In doing so he meets Katherine. We know instantly that they are the stars, this is a romantic movie, and they are destined to be together. Sadly, there are no sparks. No titillating conversations, and at no time do you really care if they get together or not.

When the thing that you know is going to happen to separate them so that we can cheer for them to get back together does happen, you don’t care. In fact, you don’t care enough to pause the movie while you go to the bathroom and get something to drink.

The movie is 1 hour and 34 minutes, or as I call it 94 minutes I can never get back, it is Rated-R for regret, and language, but mostly regret.

It was never going to be good, but it didn’t even have the decency to be bad. To say it was bland would give it too much credit for some type of flavor. I wish I had seen it in a theater and paid money to see it. At least I would have the satisfaction of being pissed off, it robbed me of even that.

My Score: Nothing