Lamar Reviews - "Abigail" (Airdate 5/3/2024)

As regular listeners know I don’t really like horror movies, especially ones that involve children being terrorized. If you have watched the trailer for Abigail, you know that is far from the case. If you have not watched the trailer and have no idea about the plot, and still plan on seeing the movie stop listening or reading. For everyone who has seen the trailer, you can proceed.

The movie opens with a gang of 6 operatives pulling of a well planned kidnapping of a young ballerina named Abigail, played by Alisha Weir. To keep the bad guys from knowing personal details of each other they use Rat Pack names. Frank the leader is played by Dan Stevens, the medical expert, played by Melissa Barrera, goes by Joey. The dull brained muscle guy Peter is played by Kevin Durand, the spastic pot head driver called Dean, is played by the late Angus Cloud. Sammy the computer whiz is played by Kathryn Newton, the ex-military operative played by William Catlett, goes by Rickles. The group is working for a mysterious guy named Lambert who is played by the always great Giancarlo Esposito who played Gus Fring in Breaking Bad.

They are supposed to split the $55 million ransom as long as the gang can keep the girl safe and quiet for the next 24 hours. By all appearances little Abigail is trapped inside a spooky mansion with the 6 criminals. After mysterious injures to a couple of gang members, and all the doors and windows are sealed shut, it turns out that the 6 unlucky kidnappers are trapped inside with Abigail, who turns out to be a very hungry Vampire. This is the kind of Horror movie I can get behind. Turns out the child is the one doing the terrorizing.

The movie is gloriously bloody with excessive violence and just the right amount of well-placed humor. Some of the jokes, lines, and situations are laugh out loud funny.

The movie is 1 hour 49 minutes, Rated-R for strong bloody violence and gore, language, and drug use.

Alisha Weir’s Vampire is the standout in this movie playing a part as far as she can get from Matilda in Matilda: The Musical. She steals every scene. Melissa Barrera’s Joey is the gang member you pull for in this movie. But the rest do a good job playing their parts.

There are many plot holes, and just like all vampire movies, they have their own set of “rules” that they don’t mind breaking. As in all horror movies, good decision making goes out the window. But the sign of a good movie is, you are having such a good time watching it that you don’t mind any of that. It’s just fun. And that is what Abigail is, fun.

Horror movies are not my thing, but I had a really great time watching this.

My Score: 4 Ice Cold Buds