Melissa and Kevin's Morning Show Highlights
Now that you've served yourself and swiped your own card, would you like to add a gratuity?
Perfecting your skills with someone you don't really like...what could possibly go wrong?
Remember, no hill is too petty.
How to tell if someone you're talking to is engaged or out to lunch
It's an updated, more scientific term for low blood sugar psychosis.
The most ridiculous things some guys won't do because they're "too girly"
Sometimes the bra is the problem Sometimes it's the bra wearer.
Ben Franklin was wrong. The wise ones are going to bed late.
Consider yourself lucky if you have one.
The bar for crappy behavior keeps getting lower and lower.
If you can't afford to go anywhere this summer, you might be one of the lucky ones.
Why being told you're funny isn't necessarily a compliment
They're trying again with the AI drive-thru. We know a way to mess with them.
Get good at dating with someone you don't care about. Why not?
You're not as slick as you think, guys.
It's the first question we'd ask our pets if we could get an answer.
Yes, we're sure we want to unsubscribe. Now let us do it!
Don't do these or we'll quietly judge you. On the radio.
We follow them anyway for stupid reasons.
Would you like to add a gratuity to the transaction you just completed by yourself?
Much to Kevin's dismay, it's his wife's favorite kind of music.
Small things that never fail to make us smile
Beauty is pain. And sometimes it's hard to look at, too.
Kevin's wife trapped him with no hope for escape.
Melissa's ex wishes she treated him as well as her dogs. Maybe the dogs were nicer.
Seniors don't have time for your feelings. They have 4PM dinner plans.
We've all made them. Time to share!
He just found this out. He's very excited.
Why do people turn into morons at Costco? We have answers.
"I turned my pregnant wife's texts into a song." We're listening!
An alarming amount of non-foods on this list...
Kevin's wife once hung up on her sister, only to call back and hang up again.
We all have them. No judgement. Okay, maybe a little judgement.
Tell me about yourself. Where do you see this relationship in five years?
You get to choose just one. What's it gonna be?
What do pilots talk about when they're flying? We have the answer.
The fact that Kevin's wife acts like a hoarder doesn't mean she's a hoarder! Got it?
Tacky, cheesy, highly uncomfortable nuptials? Count us in!
Foods we'd rather starve to death than eat
Sometimes the inspiration for a new 'do comes unexpectedly.
A discussion about salting coffee leads to recalling Grandpa's habit of salting everything,
You haven't lived until you've had lunch in the park with your kitty.
They seem tailor-made for Melissa, but no...
They're so petty, they're Seinfeld-worthy.
Getting hurt while getting busy. Yeah, that's a shame.
Don't be a lane changer. You could get stuck behind Grandma Melissa.
Melissa talks to herself in public. It gets overheard. Cue the laughter.
Kevin's wife has the bizarre ability to work words into a string of sneezes.
When texts are sent and read in a non-linear way, chaos ensues!
Seems we're losing sleep over the thing that's supposed to help us sleep.
