This very candid and honest episode looks at confidence, self-harming and what makes a difference on the pathway to recovery.

The current situation has amplified the emotions of everyone but for teenagers it has been particularly difficult and as a result many are struggling.

Physical activity and in particular striking workouts help to support emotional release and in this episode Carl talks with Libby about the role a supportive network, kickboxing and communication play in the journey to recovery from self-harming and the challenges along the way.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The lockdown has heightened everyone’s emotions and the pressure
• We were being gentle when she needed it and trying to motivate her when she needed it, it’s a constant juggling act.
• It’s an emotional rollercoaster for us and for her.
• Communication is key you can’t get it right every day.
• Everyone is individual they are not just our children they are people in their own right.
• Her moods go up and down but you worry when she’s good its just about waiting for when she comes down.
• Love and respect is so important.
• The more out in the open it is the better it is.
• When others are involved it makes it better for everyone.
• Working out produces endorphins and the people at HKA genuinely care and she can feel it
• Striking workouts help with a release that makes you feel better.
• Looking after yourself so you can look after others is vital
• Speak to the right people to create a supportive network.
• You have to understand it’s a journey to recovery not a quick fix.

BEST MOMENTS

‘It’s like the volume has been turned up to max on teenage angst’

‘In the moment I just wanted to make her feel OK’

‘From the minute I spoke with you I felt no judgement and knew you understood’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

HKA Main landing page www.hastingskickboxing.co.uk/kickstartnow

YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/user/Hastingskickboxing

HKA Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/Hastingskickboxing

carldenne@hotmail.com  

ABOUT THE HOST

Hi, my name is Carl Denne.  

I was born in Hastings in 1980. Married, father of two beautiful daughters, Bethany and Leigha. 

My daughters, the wife, and gym ARE MY LIFE.

IF I’M HONEST, I pretty much failed at school. Heavily dyslexic, I was dismissed for being a “naughty kid” that didn’t want to learn. I was heavily bullied for having shit clothes and ginger afro hair. I didn’t have many friends. 

When I say bullied I don’t mean called a “poo-poo head” and being looked at in a nasty way. I mean thrown downstairs, and hit with chairs and tables. Clothes were stolen whilst in the shower. That kind of bullying…

Oh, how things have changed… 

Martial arts, and specifically Kickboxing, have changed my life, and now I am much happier and change other people’s lives for the better on a daily basis. 

I am a complete adrenaline freak, so In my spare time, track days, jumping out of planes, sitting on top of them, rage buggies in the desert… The higher, the faster the better for me. I’m always looking for the next thing to get my blood pumping, so if anyone has a challenge I’ve not found yet, please feel free to share. 

I do like a Saturday night movie night, Chinese, Netflix, lots of chocolate with my three little ladies. I love being around my friends and family. This is why I love the crazy HKA family so much, as this is my extended family.   

I left school with pretty much nothing! A few sad GCSE’s C - D grade, BUT I did have a shit-ton of energy and passion to achieve, and to prove all the teachers and people that looked down on me for all those years, wrong. So, after a few jobs here and there, I settled on working for Openreach (BT) as a cabler/jointer copper and fibre optic multi-skilled engineer with HGV.

I left this in 2015 to chase my dream of running my own Kickboxing Academy and working with the future of today, rather than a job that just paid the bills. 

I’ve trained pretty much my whole life: Karate, boxing, Judo, from the age of 9, and of course, I’ve now done over 29 years of Kickboxing. I’ve passed many Instructors and coaches courses, attended many training courses and seminars, grading up through the syllabus. I passed my 4-hour hell-on-earth 3rd Dan black belt in July 2018 with the ICO.

If I’m honest my real passion and skills have come from learning the hard way; through being in the trenches. I know how it feels to be on your arse. I know how it feels to have to pull yourself out of the pit. I’ve been through

a divorce. I’ve lived through the pain and have worked with thousands of members, students, children, teachers and adults over the years, and the one thing I get told every time is how well I/we keep it very real, and that I have a complete understanding on most eventualities. 

Thank you for reading and listening. I hope you connect with myself and the team, take away some ideas, understand you’re not alone, and that it’s good to talk, listen and help others as and when you can.