So there she was yesterday, 2pm House of Parliament, one Darleen Tana.

Bold as brass as Sister Mary Claire would have said, sitting up the back in the naughty girl's seat lonely as Herb Alpert’s bull.

Well, until the leader of Te Pati Maori came by and dropped a hongi on her, or them sorry, she's now a they/them, because she never walks alone.

So the leader of Te Pati Maori came by, dropped the hongi on the lonely bull, but after that they were on their own. Alone. Powerless. Party-less. And as useless as the tits on the aforementioned Herb Alpert's lonely bull.

To recap, Darleen Tana was elected as a list MP for the Greens, she was stood down while an investigation was conducted and to what they knew of migrant exploitation in their husband's business and what she had divulged to the Green Party.

They spent longer on leave than they did on the job, and when the review was finally completed, they resigned before they could be sacked by the Green Party.

Their party urged them to shove off out of Parliament completely, as did Labour leader Chris Hipkins, but no. Darleen Tana played fast and loose, refused to say whether they would resign from Parliament, and the will they/won’t they question was finally settled, it appears, when they plonked themselves in the back row of the parliamentary chamber as an independent MP.

“They have work to do,” they said. “I'm here now and doing the mahi as long as this place allows me,” were the exact words. “It's been a long time out and I've been very keen to do the mahi. I'm pleased to be back and I'm determined to continue serving the people,” which is all very noble.

But exactly what kind of work will they do? Sam, Mike Hosking’s producer, said they replied by text to that question with “I'm honestly just keen to knuckle down and get on with the work. I'm determined to do oceans' protection justice. Thx again for reaching out.”

So, oceans' protection justice. Well, heavens knows the oceans need protecting. There also might be a wee bit of self-interest at play here.

Now that Tana’s husband, Christian Hoff Nielsen can no longer bring home the Danish pastries given his business has gone into liquidation, someone has to be earning a crust.

I would have thought, given Ms Tana’s impressive resume, and despite the hoo-hah over their ignominious, albeit brief time in Parliament, she'd be able to find a good paying job somewhere, but it appears not. Might be hard work finding a job when you've already got one.

Possession is nine-tenths of the law, and if you've planted your buttocks to the back of a leather seat in the parliamentary chamber, good as gold, you’ve got the job. They are staying put. And do you know what for the next 2 1/2 years, we will get the benefit of Ms Tana’s mahi on oceans' protection justice. Lucky, lucky oceans, lucky, lucky Kiwis. 

So there she was yesterday, 2pm House of Parliament, one Darleen Tana.
Bold as brass as Sister Mary Claire would have said, sitting up the back in the naughty girl's seat lonely as Herb Alpert’s bull.
Well, until the leader of Te Pati Maori came by and dropped a hongi on her, or them sorry, she's now a they/them, because she never walks alone.
So the leader of Te Pati Maori came by, dropped the hongi on the lonely bull, but after that they were on their own. Alone. Powerless. Party-less. And as useless as the tits on the aforementioned Herb Alpert's lonely bull.
To recap, Darleen Tana was elected as a list MP for the Greens, she was stood down while an investigation was conducted and to what they knew of migrant exploitation in their husband's business and what she had divulged to the Green Party.
They spent longer on leave than they did on the job, and when the review was finally completed, they resigned before they could be sacked by the Green Party.
Their party urged them to shove off out of Parliament completely, as did Labour leader Chris Hipkins, but no. Darleen Tana played fast and loose, refused to say whether they would resign from Parliament, and the will they/won’t they question was finally settled, it appears, when they plonked themselves in the back row of the parliamentary chamber as an independent MP.
“They have work to do,” they said. “I'm here now and doing the mahi as long as this place allows me,” were the exact words. “It's been a long time out and I've been very keen to do the mahi. I'm pleased to be back and I'm determined to continue serving the people,” which is all very noble.
But exactly what kind of work will they do? Sam, Mike Hosking’s producer, said they replied by text to that question with “I'm honestly just keen to knuckle down and get on with the work. I'm determined to do oceans' protection justice. Thx again for reaching out.”
So, oceans' protection justice. Well, heavens knows the oceans need protecting. There also might be a wee bit of self-interest at play here.
Now that Tana’s husband, Christian Hoff Nielsen can no longer bring home the Danish pastries given his business has gone into liquidation, someone has to be earning a crust.
I would have thought, given Ms Tana’s impressive resume, and despite the hoo-hah over their ignominious, albeit brief time in Parliament, she'd be able to find a good paying job somewhere, but it appears not. Might be hard work finding a job when you've already got one.
Possession is nine-tenths of the law, and if you've planted your buttocks to the back of a leather seat in the parliamentary chamber, good as gold, you’ve got the job. They are staying put. And do you know what for the next 2 1/2 years, we will get the benefit of Ms Tana’s mahi on oceans' protection justice. Lucky, lucky oceans, lucky, lucky Kiwis.

Join Kerre Woodham one of New Zealand’s best loved personalities as she dishes up a bold, sharp and energetic show Monday to Friday 9am-12md on Newstalk ZB. News, opinion, analysis, lifestyle and entertainment – we’ve got your morning listening covered.

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