Today, on Karl and Crew, we continued our theme week, "Stories of Victory", and we discussed the importance of mental health and overcoming that one thing that keeps us living life to the fullest. What is that one thing, that spiritual adjustment you need to make? Our expert guest was Dr. Deb Gorton who is the founder of Siv Consultation - a counseling and training practice in the heart of Chicago. Dr. Gorton is the author of “Embracing Uncomfortable: Facing Our Fears While Pursuing Our Purpose.” She is an avid advocate for mental health awareness within faith-based communities. Finally, we highlighted the release of Karl's new book this week, "Killing Sin: Conquer the One Thing That is Defeating You." Hear the highlights of the program on the Karl and Crew showcast.
Coming to you from the Morning Star Mission sponsored studio. This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
Uh, here's the deal, guys. You woke up this morning, and you feel kind of out of sorts, and, you know, something's just not right. Maybe your legs half inch longer, one of them than the other.
I mean, it happens. I was feeling really off, and, you know, it'd been a couple of years since I'd gone to the chiropractor, so I thought, you know, I want to go back. Like my. My back's feeling a little weird. I feel like I'm feeling like sciatica pain. I don't want to start feeling sciatica. Wow. And so I go to the chiropractor, and they do the scans and they show me where I have, like, inflammation. And then she does this thing where I lay flat down on the table, and they got that little space for your face and you're trying to breathe. And then she takes my legs like by the ankles. And she kind of pushes them forward. And she goes, oh, what was that? Oh that's.
Hilarious. No.
That's perfect. Chiropractor popping. Sorry.
So she pushes my my ankles forward and she goes, oh, you're pretty out of alignment. Like one leg, your hip is shifted to where one leg is, like an inch or half inch shorter. And I was like, oh, boy. So I've been walking around, you know, very it's very subtle. It's not like I was limping.
But it isn't subtle. I saw it yesterday.
My hips like, out of alignment in such a way that my leg, my gait, was actually off. And so I thought, that's why I've been feeling so off lately. My my hips and my legs are all off.
You know, I used to think that was crazy until I went in to a guy. I went into a chiropractor who was the sidelines, chiropractor for the bears and for the Bulls. And he's his job is to get people squared away when things have popped around. Oh my goodness. This guy did stuff to me that I, I couldn't believe, and I walked out of there feeling a little bit tender but lined up.
Yes, aligned. And you get things back where you're like when they start to look at the way your spine and your neck. I'm not going to get into like chiropractic nerd stuff, but it's it's fascinating how much.
Fascinating.
Comes just from your back.
It's amazing. Well, that's the one leg's out of alignment, a spine out of alignment. But what about your soul and spirit guys coming up here? We're going to have a real treat for you. We're going to tackle this issue because there is something that's got you out of whack today. What can God do about that?
This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
God is able to pick us up from wherever we are today, put us back together again. Oftentimes we need a little bit of help with that. Now, can the Holy Spirit provide that? Clearly. But oftentimes we are tackling a presenting issue and not getting after the real issue. And the question is how do you determine what's really out of whack here? Ali uses this little metaphor of her own body, went into a bone cruncher called a chiropractor, and you felt out of whack.
I did.
It's funny when you feel it, but you don't know what it is, right? Exactly.
And so she. You know, chiropractors are good at this. She kind of. She has me lay flat on my stomach and she pushes my my legs forward to where my knees are totally bent. And she goes, oh, wow, you are a little out of whack. You got one leg. Your hip is shifted to one leg is is a little bit longer. And I'm like, oh gosh. Like does the little adjustment. And pretty quickly I started to feel like things kind of settling in. But yeah, I didn't know what it was. It was causing me to feel so off.
The presenting issue isn't always the real issue, right? Deb Gordon.
That's so true. We always use the metaphor of an iceberg. A lot of times when clients come into the office, they're talking about what's above the surface, and we got to get to what's below the surface.
Doctor Deb Gordon joining us this morning. She's the founder of Sive Consultation, a counseling and training practice in the heart of Chicago. The focus is on mental health in the context of community. Deb, so often do people think they know what the problem is? I mean, you mentioned the tip of the iceberg kind of metaphor, but do people usually say, okay, it's this or do people come in having no clue?
It's a bit of both, but I think a lot of times people come in thinking like, yeah, this is what I'm dealing with. This is the presenting issue. And we're going, okay, yeah, we'll start there. But we got a lot deeper to go.
What's down below the surface predominantly. What are some of the big constructs that make that below the waterline? Why is it hidden?
Yeah. You know, it's no surprise to me that the first emotion we hear in the Bible is in Genesis. And when Adam and Eve eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and they were ashamed. A lot of the time it's shame. It's really deep rooted shame and things that perhaps we've done or that have been done to us, or even messages we've internalized that have nothing to do with who we are and our worth and value. But we've translated it to that.
So. So let's get after that shame thing. Because that's what's interesting about shame is shame makes you hide. You force it below water line whether you want to or not. Right, Deb?
Absolutely, absolutely. When we feel shame, our most common response is to retreat and hide.
Now.
There have been so many more conversations around mental health than I can ever remember in my lifetime. And and more people using clinical terminology to sort of self assess. We hear a lot of times people talk about they're dealing with anxiety. That's a more common one. But even some of the more nuanced clinical terms that people didn't have familiarity with that now roll off the tongue or people diagnose others. They are. I am married to a narcissist. Or my friend. Is this or that? Is it helpful that now we have so much more clinical terminology? Or do you find terms being misused in a way that actually doesn't help us move toward healing? Yeah.
You know, it's interesting. To your first point of diagnosing others, we work with a lot of churches, and we have counseling centers in several local churches here in Chicago. And whenever we open a counseling center, you know, there's this overwhelming excitement among the congregation. And then the doors open. And initially, it's kind of crickets. And here's my theory is everybody in the church is like, this is amazing. This is going to be so helpful for my sister or my son or my husband. Yeah. But no, I mean, it's a it's a catch 22, right? The the normalization of mental health is encouraging people to get and seek the support they need, which is amazing. But to your point, I do have a lot of people walking through the doors of our office saying, oh, I'm dealing with this. I'm sure this is my diagnosis. I need support and accommodations for these kind of things. And you know, what I say is let's focus on the symptoms, not not the diagnosis. That's good. We got to use the diagnosis, especially if you're working with insurance in a medical model. But let's look at what you're actually experiencing because that's the most important thing to address.
And on this diagnosis thing because I have heard the word narcissist a lot and it's thrown around willy nilly right now, it seems to be in vogue. I, I'm willing to go there with regard to that category and some people, but I guess the danger with diagnosis is you can misdiagnose not only yourself, but a lot of other people and actually pigeonhole them. Could you share your heart on that one, Deb?
Yeah, I think we make a lot of snap judgments in our current culture. You know, we've got a ton of information. We've got smartphones at our beck and call, and so we think we know a lot more than we do. And I also think because of things like social media where we have snapshots, we fail to take context into consideration. And that's so important. I mean, even with let's say you're dealing with somebody who does meet full blown criteria for narcissism. You know, we got to look at the context of what developed those traits, what developed those personality features, because we make a lot of really quick assumptions about a person's behavior, their actions, the root causes of what's going on without really understanding what's again, beneath the surface.
Coming up, we want to break this down a little more clearly here, because you might feel out of whack spiritually this morning. And what we want to do is give you tools that are going to help you calm the heart rate, calm yourself, and allow yourself to hear the voice of God, whose loving corrective we find that in John 14. John 16. But ultimately the destination is for your health and your good. All week long we're talking about identifying that thing. And today with Deb, this is beautiful. Going below the water line and looking at what in the world is going on here and how can God help me?
Your shot of hope to help you through the day. This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
Helping you take your next step with Jesus. In that step today could be identifying why am I out of sorts? Why so downcast? Oh my soul. You know, Deb, I'm with us. Deb Gordon. What a woman of God. And I'm so intrigued with you launching all these, uh, connection points with counselors and local churches that fires me up, as you know. Ali. Oh, my.
Goodness.
That's that's the stuff right there. How do we bring David's prayer? Search me, know me, try me. Oh, God. See if there'd be any hurtful way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. We see a man crying out to God, believing that God can reveal these things. What's going on with his heart? How important is Yieldedness to God? Uh, just pour out your heart about that, Deb.
Um, that's a great question. You know, I think it's. I always go to. And I'll connect the two. Romans 12 two, uh, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Don't conform to the patterns of this world. And I think when we're immersed, it's kind of like the idea of, you know, how do you. What is it? How do you boil a frog? You put them in cold water, and then you and then you slowly turn the water up. I think when we're not paying attention, we don't realize how much we're conforming to the patterns of the world. And so I think David's cry is I'm not noticing all of my sin because it's so prevalent around me. Search me, O God, know my heart. Draw me closer to you. Those are the ways in which God reveals to us the areas of our lives that that we really need to work on in order to to more align with who he is and who he has created us to be. And those are the areas in our lives that oftentimes, you know, to get to what we were talking about at the start that are causing us maybe the pain and anguish that we're experiencing and we don't even know it's the beneath the surface stuff.
Doctor Deb Gordon, our guest right now, founder of consultation, a counseling and training practice right here in Chicago. Deb, I'm curious about your work integrating the counseling spaces with churches. Talk a little bit about what you've seen so far. I know you've you've done this with a couple of churches here in the Chicago area. What has that looked like where you actually bring the counseling practice into the church?
Oh my gosh, I love it. I love it with all of the successes and wins and all of the challenges. So yeah, we partner with several local churches. We have counseling centers located in the church. And what's really cool about it is our counselors are clinically trained, so they have the knowledge and experience that they need to understand the root causes of mental illness from a biological and a psychological and a scientific perspective, but they're also biblically trained. More importantly, I would say. And so they have that holistic piece and they're able to come alongside. They have the language, the theological knowledge to equip and train church leaders to say, hey, these are some of the things that that we're navigating. These are some of the things that you're seeing in your church. How can we come alongside and support you? And then we learn and listen to those churches who know their communities. I mean, that's the unique thing about churches here in Chicago is they're so neighborhood based, and oftentimes there for decades have been a source of support and safety for the members of their community. And so now we have pastors from the pulpit saying, hey, we provide mental health care as an extension of the ministry of our church, not only for you in our congregation, but also for the surrounding community. And then our hope is maybe somebody from that community walks through the doors of the church to go to go to the counseling center. And then they realized I could come here on a Sunday morning and experience even more renewal, spiritual renewal through what the church is ministering to.
It's got to be a correlation between something here. Deb, I was blown away. I forget who brought this stat in to me. This is before the end of the year. The amount of book sales are down 2% nationally, but the amount of Bible sales are up 22%. There is a hunger for something transcendent. How central? Well, we know how central the Word of God is. It seems that a lot of people who are stuck actually don't have a lot of the Word of God, in truth, of who they are in Jesus Christ coursing through them. How, in your experience, in a clinical setting, how is there a constant theme there that there seems to be an absence of truth, and that's what you try to re embed in people?
Oh yeah. And it all comes out for me. It all comes down to identity. All of these things that we allow to become our Im statements, right? I think I've said this on your show before. I hear way too many people saying I am depressed, I am anxious, I am a narcissist, right? That's not your identity, that's a feeling, that's an emotion. And those have powerful impacts on us. So I don't want to diminish anybody's experience of things that are incredibly overwhelming, like clinical depression and debilitating anxiety. Those are very, very difficult things, but they're not your identity. And so even one of the very basic things that we do is we try to shift the language that people use. God said, I am. And if we are a reflection of God, then our identity is simply being image bearers, right? Nothing can take away from that. Nothing can add to that all these other things, kind of like the parable of casting the seeds. They get caught in the weeds and they get caught on the rocky ground, and they get eaten up by the birds. And we have to recapture that. We have to recapture our identity.
Doctor Deb Gordon, our guest this morning. What percentage if you had to just guess of people do you think would benefit from counseling.
Is it fair to say 100%.
Since since Scripture says to go get it right. Many counselors is.
Wisdom the.
Presence of many counselors? There's wisdom. I mean, here's the reality. I always tell my therapist when we're when they're starting off, when they're in the new stages of training and they're all anxious about what do I have to offer a client walking in my office and I'll say this. Look, every one of you have been in a relationship. Every single one of you, since the day you were born. You've been in a relationship. Some good, some challenging, some painful, some uplifting. And because of that, you have perspective. I don't want any of you to think you can be your own counselor. You need to go see somebody else if you're dealing with something because you don't have perspective when you're walking in your own stuff. Right. And so that's why I think, you know, there are many reasons why counseling is unbelievably beneficial. And there's a whole array of different mental health issues that that could challenge somebody or cause somebody to, to seek out counseling. But the benefit of perspective. Oh, it's just so invaluable.
Love it. Well, some of you and we've gotten a couple of texts here already are going. Now, how in the world do we get a hold of Deb? And we got some help on the way here.
Just text the word heal to 800 555 7898. If you want more on our guest this morning, Doctor Deb Gordon, just text heal to 800 555 7898.
Yeah. Deb, I want to thank you. I, I am so that stat deb of 22% increase of Bible purchases. That's in just the calendar year 2024. That tells me there are people that have hit a dead end with the wisdom of this world and are looking for more. That's got to ignite a fire in you, sister.
Oh, absolutely. I love it, and what I love about it is even when I have clients walking through my doors who maybe don't believe in the truth of scripture, I'm using it every day to influence how I'm working with them. Because to me, everything that I've learned as we've studied the social science of psychology is rooted in the truth of Scripture.
Oh that's good.
Oh, come on, man, that's the payoff at the end right there.
Text 0 to 800 555 7898. H e a l heel to 800 555 7898.
Making herself laugh no matter who joins her. It's time for Ali thinks it's funny.
First joke, Carl in mind. Since you're from Alaska, this is a penguin joke. And there are penguins in Alaska, right?
No, no.
You've asked me this.
Before. You have asked that question before, I. Okay, so there in the Antarctic.
I know technically they're not there.
But they're.
Like, they're there. Don't you feel like Alaska is the setting for penguins?
There might be. I will, even though my.
Everything inside.
Me goes, no, I will go. Yes, there might be a perfect setting in Chicago than there are in Alaska. Just because you know what? You know what? You might be right. In fact, there are guaranteed there's more penguins in Chicago. There are more penguins in Miami. Come on.
Go with.
It. All right, all right, I'm gonna go with it.
Thank you. Why are penguins so awkward at parties? Believe it or not, it's not the walk. It's not the penguin walk that makes them awkward at parties. What is it?
I don't know.
It is their inability to break the ice. They just can't.
Seem to break the ice.
You got ice in Alaska at least, right?
Oh, yeah. Plenty of that. Okay. All right.
You remember back in 2020 when everything locked down?
And don't remind me.
I know, I know, I know.
Those were the days.
But there was one comedian who managed to keep working during the Covid lockdown. Just one. He figured out a strategy that only he figured out made him very successful during Covid. What did he do?
I don't know. Don't know.
Resorted to only telling inside jokes.
Ha! That was really good. Oh, that one made my stomach hurt. I like that one. Made my stomach hurt. Oh, that's a good one, Ali. Text jokes. That's a good one to make up for the first one.
Come on. Penguins! Alaska ice.
It all works.
Together. Text jokes to 805, 55, 7898. Jokes to 855 five 7898.
Now for an awkward transition. Oh, boy.
That's always hard to transition.
I'll just tell you, as the guy who's doing the news before Ali does. Ali thinks it's funny. I do sit there sometimes going, okay, can't talk about that. We're about to go into jokes, so can't can't talk about that.
We're about to.
Go into jokes.
I mean, the beauty of corny jokes is that they don't have to segway in or out of of anything. Have you ever had a dad actually, in real life, tell you a dad joke? Are they ever fitting? No.
No. They're just, like, funny.
Just like plopping a turd in a punch bowl.
They just sit there.
Nothing. Yeah, I got a joke for you. So go right ahead. Carl.
Speaking of nothing like nothing.
Take it.
Ali.
Take it. I can't do it right now. Yes I.
Can. All right, gather yourself.
Here we.
Go. Here we go.
You got it.
Oh, goodness sakes. Shifting gears from penguins cracking ice to inside jokes that the last one was great. Text jokes, by the way. To 855 five, 7898. You two can torment people around you today.
Yes, yes.
It's Nice 800 555 7898. What is it about dad jokes that just. They do break the ice. They actually do.
Absolutely.
Because everybody has a feeling about them. You either love them or you hate them. I don't think anyone's really in the middle on them.
No. And what's great is the the the worse they are, the better they are.
And the delivery.
It's it's the.
Delivery as well.
Thanks I appreciate.
That. Yeah.
Oh yeah. You're right.
Yeah.
Ali nails the delivery. Okay, here's the deal, guys. There is something, usually one thing that comes to the top of mind when I ask you this question. What's holding you back from all of God's blessings? And I'm not asking you to look outside yourself. I'm asking you to look at that which you can, by the power of the spirit, control you. What's holding you back?
I'm glad you added that, because I think a lot of times we want to think that it's other people or other things or even circumstances that are holding us back. But I think when we're gut level honest, it's it's something in us. It's a habit. It's a hang up. It's a fill in the blank. But it's it's it's us more than anything else, circumstance wise. It's me, it's me. I'm the problem. It's me. To quote some song lyrics.
I know what you're talking about.
I do. But it's.
True. I am my, I am what's holding me back. Yeah.
And personal responsibility is one of the least path paths traveled. But it is powerful. I want you to text it to us. What is that one thing that's holding you back from everything. Get on us. We will not call out your name. We don't have your name. We will not call out your phone number. We're just wanting to get a feel for this right now. Let's go. Let's go. I'm asking you to grab a phone and text in right now. What is that one thing that's holding you back from everything. And we've got help and hope on the way. Can't wait guys. Boy, hang on here. If you can hang in here, we're going to cover some good territory. There is freedom.
This is girl and crew on Moody Radio.
Some of you have your eyes fixed on that one thing that is holding you back from all of God's blessings. I am so proud of you, boom crew. It is a healthy thing to identify that one thing. It's so good. What's coming in here, Ali?
Lots of texts. I'm not going to read numbers. I'll keep you anonymous. But unhealed trauma, regret, unforgiveness, not seeing God's presence in everyday life, fear believing I do not deserve his his results or his love. Depression. Worry. Fear. Self-sabotage. Procrastination. Someone even said my job. They feel like it's their job that's holding them back.
It's honest. That's honest. So the question is what do you do with that? Coming up here, we've got some hope on the way. Identify right now. What's that one thing that's keeping you back from everything that God has for you? And you know this because the Holy Spirit right now is prompting in your heart. It's this thing. And I don't want you to be discouraged because some of you are saying, I don't want to bring it up, Carl, I don't want to bring this to mind because I've tried to get victory over this so many times. Hang on. Hope, help on the way.
Romans eight brought her to Jesus while broadcasting traffic overnight. Super die is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
I have some great news for you. No matter what that one thing is that's defeating you. God can give you victory. And I just need you to just borrow my faith for you for a moment. Because a lot of you have thought, Carl, there is this one thing, and it's put me into this madness loop of sin, In shame. Repent. Repeat. And it's painful. But there is liberty. God by his power, can conquer it. So if you bring to mind that one thing that has been kicking your tail. Let's just get real honest here. Right, guys? Let's just.
Get to.
What's been kicking your tail. And I feel like crying. Unhealed trauma. Regret. Uh, unforgiveness. Um, laziness. Uh, the list goes on. We've got them just coming in here. Addictions, you name it. And we're so grateful. It's such a cathartic thing to be able to thumb it into a text message and go, this is my one thing, and we're appreciative of each of you. But oftentimes, in fact, let me put it to you this way the root of all of our sins. And don't get thrown off by this word sin. It means to miss the mark. That's what it means. It comes from archery or spear throwing. And if the righteousness of Christ is in crisis in the center. It's that distance between I'm hitting the bull's eye with God to that distance of where my life is landing here. But the root of all of our sins is that something or someone is taking the place of God. When God is pushed to the margins in any area of your life, sin is going to take root. Did a deep dive study on this, and I just want to give you a chart that I put in Killing Sin. Let me give it to you. Overarching sin. Pride. Underlying sin. Highest authority is not God. That can be fixed, guys. Gluttony. Overarching sin. Underlying sin. Satisfaction apart from God. God wants to satisfy you. Greed. That's an overarching sin. Discontentment, though with the generosity of God. Every good and perfect gift. Oh, we can lift up our eyes to the hills and see him and go, praise you Jesus. Hoarding security not found in God. He wants to be there for you. Lust. Gratification apart from God. That's all that is. It's just a cheap knockoff substitute. Envy. Contentment not found in God. Cowardice. Fear of man more than God. Laziness. Just lack in the wisdom of God. These are all remedied, Ali.
And when you start to look at what it is below that thing, you pray differently. And you look at Scripture differently because you you ask the Lord to satisfy you in him instead of just saying, help me to get this hoarding under control or help me, you start to dig a little bit deeper. And so I want you to get more of this. You mentioned what page is that on in the book?
It's page 48.
Page 48.
So if you want some more context or if you have that one thing that you feel like, man, if I could just get this one thing under control, that is the subject of this book that released yesterday, it's called Killing Sin, conquering that one thing that is defeating you. This is going to be a really important read for you this year, that you don't just make it another year where you set a goal, you make a resolution, but then by mid January or mid June, if you make it that far, you find yourself back in defeat. I want you to get this text the word conquer to 800 555 7898. Text conquer to 800 555 7888. Carl, why are you so excited about this for people?
Because I've been there.
Yeah.
I've been there. I know what it is to be in that madness. Trap of sin, shame. Repent. Suck it up. I'm going to do it now. God. Repeat. cycle. And it doesn't have to be there. And, you know, you have to unpack this a little bit. You've got to understand where the power comes from. You got to let yourself off the hook in the sense that this is God's work in us. But I'm I'm overjoyed. I'm giddy about this. I mean, killing sin, you might say at first blush, oh my goodness. But we're called to do it. Put to death what is in the flesh. And oftentimes we don't have a strategy for that. And that's what I've tried to do is give a tangible strategy for how to do this. I was on with Janet Parshall last night, and we just had a just a ball for an hour in the afternoon session, and I'm overjoyed, hoping that people are going to find freedom.
So just text the word conquer to 800 555 7898. Text conquer to 800 555 7898. The book again is called Killing Sin. Conquer the one thing that's defeating you. Conquer to 800 555 7898.