Royal Pains

Published Jun 10, 2022, 7:00 AM

Bethenny was crowned Reality Royalty at the MTV Awards. Her first royal decree is to spill the BTS drama of the award show! Plus, she finally addresses Erika Jayne’s dig Bethenny’s late ex.

Speaking of royalty, Bethenny thinks Meghan Markle has taught the Master Class on what NOT to do when dealing with in-laws. don’t make the same mistakes!

Okay, So a couple of things. One is that with the Uvaldi school situation, it's been just a horror show. So I just want to say that I know someone who's school wrote a letter home saying that we wanted to let you know as parents that a car drove by today, an suv with kids or people, I don't even know. It was kids out the window shooting water guns at the students, shouting profanity. So when I first read it, I was like a water gun school and I was like, oh my god, with the the temperature in the state of what's just happened, that sounds horrific, Like it's just then you immediately think, well, what if it was real guns? And the school had to say we looked at our security footage and in fact, is not real guns. And that freaked me out. And I was telling that to um this woman who was doing my nails, and she said that at her school that there was a kid who came in after the shooting with a BB gun. So that to me is that's expelled that. I don't even think that's suspension, like we have to get really crazy because it's just just not a risk we can take. And it just it freaked me out, and you want to like bubble wrapped the school, and while if the school was too secure, that would freak out the kids. I don't even know that I care, you know, I just don't even know that I care. So it's just a crazy time. I just wanted to share that with you because it just it's also heightened and terrible, and incidentally, because it isn't it is incidental, uh compared to what's going on be strong. My team was there. Um, it's all private because obviously the people's privacy is very important. But we've given each family five thousand dollars that was raised. I know that funeral expenses have been taken care of and customize caskets and things like that. Jesus horrible to even talk about, but just an extra five thousand dollars for I don't even know what. What the hell can I possibly say? There's no way to even uh tap into someone's tragedy and misery and healing, and it's just it was just something that we could do before we knew that the funerals are being paid for. Um, it is way less than a drop in the bucket. Okay, So I was given I was awarded Reality Royalty Award by MTV. So I want to go through this whole thing with you because I want you to understand how these things go for me. So here's how it goes. I got an email like a couple of months ago, maybe or definitely more than a month about saying I was nominated for some award and I forgot about it. And then I was with my assistant in the car going somewhere and she said, you're you're not. They sent another email You're nominated for an award, and I was like, is it? It's everything to me. It seems like it's not real. If it's being emailed to me, it seems like it's just not a real thing. I cannot explain it. Or I forget things like it was so crazy and so busy that just things that are important come through my email and I forget about them, and then things that aren't important, like my tail are coming today or the most stupid thing you could imagine that I focus on because I only swept the small stuff. It was literally the only sentence I ever had on a dating profile was I only sweat the small stuff and said my name. I didn't say what I did for a living. Didn't say long walks on the beach. It said Bethany or be because I want to be private. B my age, I only swept the small stuff. So now we're gonna get into that. So then my publicist says, well, no, there's like some event and something tele eyes and something else isn't and it's live and it's taped, and I don't hear what she's talking about. I never pay attention to anything until I'm actually there. So she then says, no, it's real and they're giving you an award, like a Lifetime Achievement Reality Royalty Award. So I'm like, what is that? That sounds sort of cool, but like it's me, so I think it's not real or I don't even know what it means. So so then she's like, no, it's a real thing. So I then think it's like a real real thing. So then she says, who do you want to to to like announce you or whatever, So I didn't know who to think, like Ellen the Rock, like you know people I know people who are on the Jersey Shore because they got the Reality Royalty Award for the first award ever given last year and who knows. So then my poposist represents Paris Hilton. I used to nanny Paris Hilton. She seemed like the best fit. It has a narrative, Um, I know her and it's a nice, like little story. So we are preparing for the event and I don't borrow clothes just as a rule. I don't want to owe anybody. I don't like to wear something if I can't keep it. It's just not my my m oh, but I had no time. This was like when I found out about this part of it, and then it was going to l A and I was bringing Brent. So I texted my friend for Nando Garcia, who is the head designer at oscar to Lorna. He did Paris Hilton's wedding dress, which is extraordinary and he's one of the only the only people that I would ever text just because I know them like I have their numbers, would be Christian Siriano and I thank him like I don't know anybody else, and that that's just like how I operate. I just said great. So he sent five options. I picked a second one and we were off to the races. So he said he want they wanted to have a measured. They had someone come to my hotel room in between three appearances doing a book book appearance, someone came or do my assistant measure me? No, I think, oh, first I sent them a video of how big it was. It came back to me my boobies were handing hang out. Now I had to have it binder clipped, and the day before the event, I had to have one of my assistants go to any Rando tailor, just like anybody at a dry cleaner. I wasn't even with the dress because I didn't have time. So this was like a ship show waiting to happen. So the dress came back. I tried it on for the first time in l A. It did fit yippy KaiA. That was amazing. Um. I get to the event and it's a Barker Hanger. It seems like a big thing. It's all housewild, like it's a lot of housewilves. So I didn't realize that it's like different than the other I didn't know there were two MTV awards, like this is the Unscripted Awards, but the red carpets really big. And now I'm thinking, like I was thinking of having Ellen introduced me at the Unscripted Awards, like I didn't know where I was. And it's major, don't get me wrong, but like it was a different major. I you know, what's funny is that when I ended up watching the real MTV Awards, I ended up thinking that our events seemed better than that event because most of those people I didn't even know who they are. That just because that's just because maybe it's younger and this is my audience and whatever. But like so I walk in and it was kind of a big deal, like they were making a big deal out of this a war, Like I was sort of a the guest of honor of this thing that became very real, and I was it was nice, like um, and I you know, my makeup was was good, but it wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. So I was trying to get their person that's just sitting there just to do people's touch ups, like helping me at the makeup five seconds before. And I felt a little shoddy because my shoes I bought online and they only they were these beautiful shoes of butterflies, and I have long toes and they were already hanging over the front. But these were half size too small. But I had to buy them. I had no choice. I bottom days before shipped them overnight. They came the day before. My feet were like hanging on the pavement. I was like Fred fon Stone, my feet under the car like as the engine. It was just but I so and I'm getting my touch up at the last minute. But you know, I had lips glass in my bag. But I wasn't like Paris has like a makeup hair person with her doing touch ups every second. And if I had known how like everything we were doing was on t V, I think I would have also. So I wrote my speech, which I'll read to you. I'll read it to you maybe today, maybe another day if we haven't I have enough time. But I wrote my speech and I went backstage and the prompter person said, it's the best speech, and it's the only speech I didn't write, which was kind of cute and sweet and snorky and funny. But I was the only person who wrote my own speech at the unscripted event, because everyone had their speech written, but it was all Housewife Kyle, Kathy Hilton, Garcel, Lisa Rinna, Erica, Erica, Jane you know, like a lot of people, Tamer was very, very lovely nice. I was in this touch up moment, so I said hi to her, and I was I'm always being aware that I'm still on the show that I'm like not being friendly enough and not being complimentary and like saying everything about everyone's outfit. But I was getting ready for the thing, So Tammer was nice. Erica gave a little bit of a snub, you know, but I kind of get that because the way that there was like an interaction where the Housewives takes everything it and makes it exponentially bigger, even if it's not. Like I was on this podcast and I said that Dennis had told me about Erica's husband. I've never said a word about her, but Dennis did tell me about Erica's husband. I said it. Once this thing became relevant and it became an issue for Kyle and Erica because it sort of made it like they knew, which I didn't know what was going on on their show. So me bringing up me adding one drop of water about something became this whole thing because me saying that I knew made it like on that show, did they know? But I didn't know about that because I hadn't watched the show. So you say one little thing and everything is like a big thing and you never know the undertones. But so then Erica recently was on Watch Happens Live and Andy asked her about something with me or me knowing, and she said, um, I don't know my guys in a home and her guys, her guy's dead, about Dennis my ex, her guys dead and my guys in a home. And I it went crazy. I think it was so crash and crash and terrible. It was very thoughtless and it was like cold. But I didn't really care because she's not really in my world. And I don't mean that to be rude. But so she was at this event and she sort of gave like a weird it was nothing. It was like literally an eyelash flutter when she saw me and I saw her. I didn't get up and say hey, it was like, oh what is that? What are we? But you know, no shade whatever, It just was what it was. We if this, if I hadn't said that thing and she hadn't said that thing, we would have been very friendly to each other. But you know, all's fair in love and war. In the Housewives, I guess, which I'm not even on. Okay, so Kathy's there and I used to work for Cathy, and I don't know what's going on the show. I don't know what's going on with her and anybody else, Like I don't know if I'm a blood or a crypt like what's going on with you know? I just in my life and was taking pictures. But apparently later this whole crazy thing happened while we were there, because people are writing about it, about some you know, riffed between Lisa and Cathy. I mean, I said, I think I said to Cathy at the table. I would say to Cathy, I would say to Kyle, like, get off this. You don't need to be you're You're You're Cathy Hilton. There's an allure and an elevation, and you don't have to I don't know what part of the season they're in or where she is, but like, you don't have to do this at all, Like you don't do any of this. You don't have to do this, you have to be on the reunion, have to do the show again, you don't have to do any of this. Um people like it. People want to do it whatever. But when people get surprised at these horrific, horrific riffs happen, and I have I haven't been in the middle of any really horrific one. It's like, it's about Tom. It's not about Tom. You know, get a hobby like life is not a cabaret like okay, not like crazy societal riffs. In the words of the prophet Caroline Manzo, and I may be paraphrasing, you hang out near a dumpster, you're gonna smell like garbage. Like there's a lot of garbage, and it's unnecessary garbage at a certain level. I was part of the garbage. I love the garbage. I loved seeing everyone um. But if you don't have to do that, then you shouldn't. And Caroline Manzo is literally one of a teency weensy tiny handful of people that have left the housewives that wouldn't pay to be asked back. And I know that that I know there's a There are very few people who say they've gotten they've left have gotten fired. That's a fact. Nine point nine out of ten of the people who have left have gotten fired. And other people who have not been fired and left also want to go back. Carol Manzo is not in that group. Carolyn Manzo is in the Bethany Frankel group. Okay, so Megan and Harry go to the UK for the jubilee. This is it sounds horrible. The court of public opinion and certainly the court of anyone who favors the royals, and certainly the court of UK and Great Britain are not big fans. So now you've left the royal family. You have your reasons, You've stated them on national international television for OPRAH, and you are the impetus for this. Tell all to a family that would like to be the most private family in the world. I mean, for the most part, they'd like to keep things private. So now we are all of the dirty laundry in a in a group that isn't that big. Isn't that keen on air dirty laundry? So I mean, I don't I didn't go to I don't have to be a fucking wizard to imagine that the in laws aren't that happy the past and so they're also the royals, so they mustn't be that happy. So now you've got the court of public opinion on you. The in laws have the court of public opinion on them. So for some reason, everybody has decided that as family members, they're supposed to get along in some way. There's some sort of modicum of tradition that is supposed to be abided by. But I can't figure out why, because any daughter in law that aired dirty laundry of their parents in law as normal people, would be excommunicated from the church and extricated. So now take that to somebody famous. So I'm fairly well known if I aired any laundry about my fiance's family in any way, and like not even like on television. Just if anything ever got back that I said about the family at all, they're very private. That would not that would not that's a nonstarter. Like that would be a massive a massive problem, would be a disrespect to be a boundary cross or my fiance would be it would be probably a deal breaker, Like it's a it's he takes privacy very seriously, he takes code very seriously. Okay, so now that's just he's just they're just normal people. So now let's take it to the next level. I do that to my fiance who's not a member of the royal family. One party here is a public person. I take it on television. I mean, there's no there's no turning back from that. So now I take it on television. But his parents are public figures, the most public figures on the planet Earth. I take that. And by the way, I'm not saying stuff that was said what is or isn't true. It's not my business. I don't know. I wasn't there, I don't know, but I do know that they're a public family. So now not only do Da Harry and Megan want to save face, like they want to go there and act like everything's okay, But like when you put your hands in front of your eyes doesn't mean that people can't see you. Like we saw what happened, Like we watched the tell all. It's not like a shock that we're reading now that the there was a chilly reception. They weren't standing on the main balcony, they weren't sitting in the front row. No ship, Sherlock, you fucking aired your dirty laundry of the most public family on the planet Earth. Like, oh, we shocked you weren't. I mean, it's amazing you were invited at all and they were doing that because they have to save face. But like I mean, I I I gotta believe that even if there were all these problems, like William and Cater are part of the machine too. They're cog in the machine too. They play the game. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Don't hate the player, hate the game. They're playing by the rules the whole nine yards. But just as a point blank matter, they had issues that they experienced that were real for them, that they aired on an international episode with the Queen of All Media herself blowing up every single skeleton of the royal family or many of And now it's major news that they went to the UK and that they weren't sitting next to will and Kate, and that the babies and families weren't blending, that birthday parties weren't blending. Like Jane the Nurse and Joe the Mechanic are married and they they they are the dirty laundry. I do not think that Jane and Joe are going to have a really great Christmas dinner

Just B with Bethenny Frankel

If you can’t handle the truth you can’t handle this podcast. Just B with Bethenny Frankel is the bes 
Social links
Follow podcast
Recent clips
Browse 282 clip(s)