Rant-a-palooza

Published Sep 16, 2021, 7:30 AM

Bethenny opens up about the Met Gala, Erika Jayne, and more

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Yeah, okay, so, uh, I get a lot of comments about these rants, and it's funny because I had never I still have never listened to a podcast before, and I didn't really know what this whole medium was about. And I'm not on television now. And one of the things I really did like about housewives was the absurdity and just the ability to say anything that you wanted or felt. That was very liberating for me, because, um, I need to express myself. I'm one of these people. Some people need to work out, some people need to have sex, some people probably need to murder people. You know, those are those types of people. But I need to vent and rant and say things that aggravate me. And when I did stand up comedy for the first and only time, one of the comedians, I just want to give her the credit that she deserves and I'm just blacking out. So anyway, she um, she identified that my comedy or the things that I want to talk about are these sort of things that I'm aggravating about. Um, And it's such a great vehicle here to just talk about them. And you don't have to agree with me. You could think I'm insane. It's just these ramblings of a lunatic that you you know, you're on the subway or you're taking your kids to school, or you you you look somebody up and down about what they're wearing, or you know, the moms that decide to dress like in hair makeup and the people like me who dress like you know, do we live in a sewer And so basically it's just like thoughts that go on throughout the day. And I'll text my assistant. I'll say something, I'll text her something she doesn't understand at all, Like I'll just be like paying forget a mantra, Like that's what I'll text her, Okay, it's it's and it will get there at some point. And then I just sometimes I read them on the piece of paper. I forget what I even said or what I thought. You know, I'll be out in a restaurant with someone and someone will some of you'll drive me crazy, like when I waits like have you dine with us before? Were? I'm like, I haven't, But I somehow feel I'll be able to navigate the scrawl on this piece of paper. And then I see a kitchen, so I think there's a man or a woman who's gonna cook some food and I think you're gonna bring it out with the larger round trees are meant to be shared. I'm like, cool, that's so interesting. Okay, wow, the things that are at the top of the advertisers so like, these are the types of things I think about. What's your water preference. I'd fucking like it to be liquid if it's possible, but it needs you want to be ripped off to the nth degree? Or do you do you know? I have been around the world, I've traveled a lot, and I still feel like an idiot every time. It's like the wine. Do you want to talk about the wine? Let's just talk. You know what's going to happen. You could put the best wine at the top of the two dollar price tag and the shittiest one with the seventy five dollar price tag, and if someone's on a date and wanting to impress someone, they're gonna get the seventy five one. I'm in the liquor business. I have a wine brand. I have no idea. We save these words like shabilee. When I was a kid, it was shabilee, and when I was a kid, what we call now Rose I seemed to be white zim Fandel and it wasn't even white. I don't think. I think it was pink. But zim Fandel was like a cheap eat type of ASTI spumante, like wine in a box, vibe thing. And now Rose is pink and that was not in when I was younger. So these types of things that we think about, that I think about, that's what we're gonna do today. Just I'm gonna rant about things that I've been talking about, and I'm probably gonna get myself into trouble or we'll edit some of these out. I don't know where do I begin. Well, first I want to talk about fashion, because first of all, when you listen to this, I sound like I'm not current because it's not exactly when things are happening. We edited and it might air a week later to a month later, depending upon the guests and the topic, et cetera. So if I'm talking about the met Galo, which was last night for me, you might be hearing it a week later, but I'm not. This is not a podcast for current events. It's sort of if I talk about something or someone, like if some some someone famous or some famous couple or some event. It's only because it's a matter that transcends this moment. Meaning I don't care about popular culture. I don't care who's sleeping with you. I only care about what it means, meaning what the construct is. So if I'm talking about the MET Gala and I'm talking about fashion, I am talking about what it means, what the what the what it means to us who are watching and who aren't really involved and who it's it's this show and the MET Gala has evolved because if you look at pictures when they flashback and you see Donna, Karen or Um, Elizabeth Hurley or someone, they wore gowns, beautiful gowns. It wasn't so crazy until I remember, I think Rihanna broke through with all her like the real Costume Institute moments. UM. So I'm thinking about this year's MAC Gala, and I'm thinking about UM, the Kardashians and j Lo and the way they present and the evolution of it, and in some ways it's really become this competition like these the fashion shows are always about the designers who design and what are they? Who designs the best design for these models and muses but there really isn't a show that is about who's wearing the best. We do that, we're sort of the court of public opinion judging who wore the best, who wore it best, but there's no show really saying it out loudly. There are people their opinions, this person won the night, this person looked terrible, but no one sort of really saying no, that person actually won. So this year, I thought that Kendall Jenner one. I thought she was spectacular, extraordinary. I thought that dress was elegant but still a moment like not safe, daring and sheer, but so because it's pays homage to what the event really is. And then other people do these sort of clown suits, crazy things that everyone has to talk about and thinks are amazing because you sort of don't even know how to understand it. So the guy from Ship's Creek who I love, Daniel Levy, did this outfit that was outrageous, but I don't know that I liked it. It just was so crazy that you have to talk about it. Same thing with umsap Rocky. He was wearing a blanket like it was a blanket of pomp pomp poms that look like someone's grandmother made it, Like how much did he pay for that? Because I get that it was a moment, but it was a giant blanket. I want to snuggle in that in my house? Was that not a blank It was a big blanket. So like, you know, we have to be reduced to them that we don't understand because remember that conversation that and a wind Tour had in Devilware's product about how cerulean blue is derivative of all these different moments. So we're you know, if I could literally wear uh, you know, a vintage telephone booth as a dress, and oh well yes, I mean obviously I get it. Anybody who knows would get why you're wearing a vintage telephone booth. But I could just it's sort of like art, you're just like fucking with people. But then someone like Rihanna, it's it seems like you do get it because she was wearing that that beanie, that cap with diamonds, like you know that there was a whole narrative there, and I'm sure there was two for Asap Rocky they went together. There's a story. But sometimes it just seems like, let me wear something absurd and ridiculous. That's expensive and get away with it. But I you know about fashion and about who gets invited to the met Ball, like why does Chloe Kardashian and Courtney aren't a list enough and they have a hundred and thirty two eighty million followers. But Madison Beer, who wore adult Chickaman, addressed that I literally have very similar one I wore twenty years ago to a Victori's Secret fashion show that I bought a sample sale, and she wore a pink version of that, So that wasn't very daring, and I don't think that she's really anyone in fashion, but she has a ton of TikTok followers, and so does Addison Ray, who someone said she borrowed adjust from Courtney Gardashian, So she was invited because she's an influencer and younger. So I guess like Chloe and Courtney in Purgatory, they're right in the middle. They're definitely influencers, but they're older. So this year they wanted either icons or young influencers, because I can't see how Addison Ray would be there, not courtnay Um. And then Megan Fox is there and isn't she more relevant now because she's in a relationship with someone that's very relevant. But didn't She's gonna go away for a minute, so we all don't understand exactly what is why And guess what the HBI c Anna wint Or gets to decide whether the funk she wants she could invite whoever she wants, she could invite herkell. That brings me to the Kardashians. Uh. Kendall Jenner is a supermodel. Kylie pushes the fashion envelope all the time. Um, but Kim in wearing that all black ensemble, which I said yesterday they said that Kanye and followed her, and I believe that that's sort of some connected message to this this costume. I just think that it's not unrelated. There's something that they're in on. But she said herself she always wanted to be on the cover of Vogue. She's had This is goals for her. She wanted to be invited to the met Ball one. I think the first year she got invited because of Kanye. Then she got invited in her own right. The next year, Kylie was invited, Chris is invited, Courtney and Chloe are not. That's got a bug them. They do everything the same and everything together. But that maybe probably makes the two sisters feel more elevated. And and but I have to say for Kim, she has committed to this life. Like she she she told a story. If this is supposed to be impact and theatrics and escapism, she accomplished that, Like I saw that black outfit on the stairs, Like I'm giving her full props for being disruptive, for saying I'm here and I can take chances and do my own way, and you know, own the room. And you know, a lot of people don't give them props. It always is given props. But well, she's a billion dollars, brought the sex tape or well whatever, Like I'm just giving straight up props. It takes so much work. I for me to go to that event, I would be planning for eleven months. I would figure out a way to rock it. I would make it my business. But like these girls, j Lo had been at the Venice Film Festival with Ben Affleck in full regalia with diamonds everywhere. Right before that, she was at the dol Chase Show looking like a app like literal like brocade queen with the craziest costume like that, that was the costume the met Gala. That was crazy. Her outfit there was crazy than her costume with the MEC Gala. Then she goes with Ben Affleck too Venice again. I think for his film festival. Unless I'm mixing stories, No, I think she went back. I don't know. She was there for dol Jacobana. Then Ben had a thing and she went with him. Then she went to the v m As. Then she went to the Beck Gala and like that, like Indiana Jones outfit, Like do you know how exhausting that is? That whole thing? Dad alone. I mean, she's got kids, she's got a job, she's got a relationship, she's got a mother, she's got a house. She must I mean, not that we're comp Nobody likes to hear like they're rich complaining about being exhausted, And she's not complaining. I'm just saying, these people are committing to really just win, to make a statement. And what do we all think of that? A lot of people don't like it. A lot of people think there are real things going on in the world. But that's escapism. You know, I'm the first one I deal with a lot of real things going on in the world, a lot of natural disasters, a lot of crazy stuff and people dying. But you know, it's what. It's escapism, and people want to see something, and so they're putting on a show to entertain others. Us on the other side in times of stress. I mean, that's not their purpose. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not overstating. They're all they all want attention, they want it, they love it, they want to win the night. I just think it's just an interesting conversation, alright. So cancelation is obviously a thing. It's cancelation nascent nation. And I was talking to my assistants yesterday about cancelation and sometimes will say, is that person can't I'll always say, is that person canceled? Because, as I said another time on this podcast, there's no jury. No one put down the gavel and said, yes, this person is canceled. You are canceled. So some people are undeniably canceled. Obviously, Bill O'Reilly's canceled. Harvey Weinstein is canceled, like banished to an island forever. Being a criminal should be in a different category. So that's the Harvey Weinstein thing. But you know, like Matt Lauer was a pretty big cancelation. And whether you agree with that or not, it's just that was a pretty big cancelation. And and and Brian Williams was not a cancelation. That was a demotion, Okay. And that's what we're gonna get into too. So Briant Paula Deane was a cancelation. Nick Cannon was a demotion. Had a bad moment that was being demoted. Years ago, don Imus said something about women um and I don't want to say because it was a women out of basketball team and it was like a racist, derogatory comic canceled. Okay. Julianna Ransi said something about Zendaya demoted. Okay, Chrissy Teagan with the thing about her saying that stuff to that girl demoted Olivia Jade and it was a bad one, Okay, Olivia Jade because she was like an influencer, et cetera. Demoted. Christie Tagan still has thirty million followers. Olivia Jade still has how many followers and she's on Dancing with the Stars. Nick Cannon still has whatever followers and he's on Mass Singer. I think this is the host. So these people don't may not have all the different promotion deals, endorsement deals, but they so they've been demoted. So my assistant said to me, what about Erica Jane. Has she been canceled? I'm like, no, she's on trial right now, the trial the judge, no judge has put the gavel down, like and because she hasn't had her maya culpa, she hasn't said her thing. She she's she's definitely semi demoted, but she's on a show that's celebrated for trashiness and scandal. You know, Teresa, arguably it was elevated by going to jail and that's like sort of street cred and you know, but the salahis who broke into the White House and that show got canceled. They were canceled, So it's very great people get demoted. People in purgatory waiting to see what's happening. I ran into Christy Taking when she was in purgatory. I didn't think she was gonna fully get canceled. She definitely hasn't gotten canceled, but she's definitely been checked and it may not be the same, but to me, I don't know thirty million followers. Seems like a pretty serious following to me. So then we talked, so this is about Erica Jane. So my assistant said, well, that's crazy. What's going on now? Now obviously I've know what's going on. I haven't seen the show, but I have a specific perspective on this. So Dennis Shields, my ex fiance, he passed away. He owned a company called law Cash. It was the largest funder, one of the largest funders of litigation in the country, and so funders of litigation. It's what happened with Hulk Hogan. He couldn't have fought that case that you want if he didn't have someone backing him in that litigation. Most people don't know this is even a business, and people don't like this business. But I'm just reporting the news. So there are these people that fund litigation, and so it has it happened like Ana Nicole Smith I think had litigation funding. Bill Cosby RV. Weinstein may have, or they talk about it because they are not gonna be able to afford their UH litigation. And you know, it happens on every level. It happens with UH companies that if you that's when you always see all these commercials. You see these billboards. Uh, John Morrigan does it in Florida. He basically if you get into an accident or class action suits, transvaginal mesh, things that happened from baby powder, like any of these kind of things, these big lawsuits that are class action lawsuits, mass towards. I'm getting complicated, but you under standin I'm saying, these lawyers do this. So that's so John Morgan is one. There's I know a lot of them because I met them through Dennis and I went to these sort of conferences with him, and I've met them, and some of them are billionaire lawyers, like major, major lawyers. Some have taken down like the NFL, Volkswagen, Chinese drywall, like major ship, big tobacco. Okay, that's that's that kind of stuff. So Tom Girardi was a lawyer that worked in that space, which is why I've met him, which is why Dennis knew him. So Dennis had never seen the show. So this was in two thousand eighteen. So Dennis and I watched the show The Beverly Hills Housewives. I don't I didn't watch this season. I want I dabbled so he watched a little because he um new Tom Girardi and he knew of Erica Jaane because Tom used to send Dennis videos of Erica and Dennis would be like a little uncomfortably, be like watching in your office when you're alone. That's what Tom would say to Dennis and be like, that's creepy and weird. So, um, we want ran into. I met Tom at like a lawyer's conference. I think it was in Florida or l I can't remember. I think it was it was l A a lawyer's conference. Um, so I knew I was aware of Tom, and also I saw Aaron Brockovich and um, and I told Dennis that Erica said on the show that she spent fifty thousand dollars a month on her glam and I also told him that her private plane. She had two private planes. And he said what, And I said yeah. And my experience is especially with the housewives, but everywhere as well, but really particularly with the housewives, if someone's flaunting their money, they don't really have it. And a lot of that's happened with a lot of the girls on all of the shows. And I can tell you that in New York people right that they have like fifty seventy five million dollars. All the girls have probably between like four and eight million dollars, and that's a lot of money, but people like you know, and then there are ones that were on before that have that really don't have a lot of money at all, but the media makes it like they do. In particularly on Beverly Hills, there have been a lot of all show and no go girls. And the more that they they flaunted, and the more that they, you know, brag about it, usually there's something wrong. I've always found if you're really flaunting your money, then you probably don't really have it. So I was talking to Dennis about this and I was, you know, Christopher Buckle, I know, is a friend of mine. He was doing her makeup and she's spending a crazy amount of money. She said this cost fifty a month and I was like, holy shit, six thousand dollars a year. Now I have money. I make money, I you know. I was like, that's rolling really deep, and that's just the nut that would be hard to sustain. And Dennis said to me, he doesn't have it like that. He owes me money, He owes me half a million dollars. I know this other guy. He owes a million and a half dollars. He doesn't have money. He owes everybody money. And I go, what are you talking about? How is she flying around on the big plane and a small plane. And he said it's not because he's using people's money to support her lifestyle. He's using the company's money to support her lifestyle. Dennis said this, and I said, what are you what are you talking about? And out Don't get me wrong, I didn't know everything about specifics. I didn't know what kind of cases he was working on. I didn't know there was an airplane flight. I didn't focus on it that much. I just was focusing on the five six hundred thousand alls a year. And Dennis was like, yeah, no, he owes me money and it aggravates everybody. I said, why why would he do that? He goes he can't say no to her. Dennis said, he can't say no to her. Okay. So now we were away in um New Orleans in May of two thousand and eighteen, and we ran into uh not ran into went to meet these other like billionaire lawyers that that Dennis knows and also people that Dennis worked with who I know I've mentioned it too, And it was a well known secret, like it was a well known it was widely known, best kept secret, like it was the worst kept secret, you know what I'm saying. So so this lawyer, who I don't want to bring these other people into it. When Dennis said to that him because he doesn't focus, he doesn't watch the housewives. So Dennis said, do you know in his acts, like do you know Erica Jaye spent five hundred thousand dollars fifty thousand a month on her her hair and her makeup. And the guy's like what he owes everybody money? He's being sued by everybody. So it was a thing. So I knew about it. So I don't know, like that's just what happens. Things take a long time to come out. But everybody in that industry knew about it. All these major lawyers and I'm talking about around the country that are in this industry, they all knew about it. And I I told Christopher Buckle about it. I told Andy Cohen about it just to say like it's not what you think. You know Erica. I have met and met her at Christina Aguilero's birthday party, Erica performed. We had a nice, very brief conversation. She we like you know, social media at each other, and she sent me boots which were great. And I think she's interesting. I think, oh I met her, she came to my house because we did the crossover. I think she's interesting. I'm sure she has an interesting story. I think she's tough. I think she brings it with the fashion is polarizing, and she seems strong. And she said, you know, unique history. I don't know her that well. And when I told it to Lisa Rehn and Kyle, I just said it like they don't get it, like that, like it's something you know her. Her husband. Everybody knows in that industry that he owes a lot of people money that he is also being sued by many of them. So when this came out, I don't know during the pandemic last year, I didn't even really know about it. Um and he called me, he goes, holy sh it, you really do know it all. He's like, you told me about this years ago. I'm like, yeah, I told you, Like no, I you know, I hashtag I know it all. So I knew about this whole thing. Um, I knew since yeah, probably probably two thousand seventeen and two thousand eighteen. I knew about this so definitely, because we all wear away that summer that he was the summer before in l A that I Meagan Dennis told me about this in two thousand seventeen and this all came out, and I guess so it wasn't a very well kept secret in that industry, but we're in the entertainment industry and that's very different. So it's crazy. I haven't seen it. But I when I was talking to my assistants about people getting canceled, they said, this is like crazy that you haven't talked about this because I haven't been really paying attention closely and I didn't realize this is like a major thing that everyone's talking about. So I, you know, Andy said it to me, and I said it and forget it. I just like I didn't know, and I haven't seen the show. I just I think when I left, I just sort of left that franchise and took a cleanse. So I don't know what's really going on, but it seems to be like a very big conversation and um and I think that the reason that I brought that up today is talking about people's need to show what they have. I remember the first season, Alex and Simon going in St. Bart's and spending like a hundred and something thousand dollars and they had, you know, they didn't have it like that, but they felt like the show would catch up with what they were spending, meaning, you know, and there are other people on the Beverly you know, Beverly Hills and other franchises that have done the same. And for some people, works out the money that you're making catches up with the way that you're spending, but for others it doesn't. And that's a dangerous game. If people are haunting and showing a lot of what they have, very often it's all show and no go. And people are just so tempted they must they must show a lifestyle. And you cannot create a life out of a lifestyle. You can create a lifestyle out of a life, but you cannot, like you can't lifestyle your way into a life. And I think that people just get so tempted to show everything and say everything instead of just keeping quiet. And that's so much stronger saying nothing. Is so much stronger. Just being more subtle about it is so much more powerful and strong. But it's there's something in our society where everybody needs to show what they have. And Instagram, you know, hashtag blessed equals hashtag bragging. You know, every time hashtag blessed, someone's always on a private plane, someone's always you know, on the back of a yacht because their hashtag blessed. Like if you're healthy and your kids are healthy and they love you and they adore you and they're snuggling and it's it was just a natural disaster, your hashtag blessed because you're on the back of it, your hashtag bragging. So I just think that people, because of Instagram and because of filters, and because of look at me, and because look how good my ask looks and look how bad yours looks, is what they're effectively saying, because that's what everyone feels, and let me filter my picture and let me bullshit my way through everything. There's usually something they're hiding, how this is how perfect my relationship is, And then you find out four years later, and then you want to bring that person down because the people who get brought down the worst. The people who get canceled the worst are the people that were flaunting, bragging, fronting, looking down upon. Really just I'm up here and you're down here. So just think about that in your life, even if you're not on television, even if you're not in the house. So I just think about what you're saying, what you're doing, how you're living. Because what goes up must come down, and who you see on the way up, you're gonna see on the way down. So that's why I brought up the topic of the Erica Chain situation. That's people all over the internet are writing about her shopping and the clothes and the yachts and the glam and the shoes and the diamonds and the planes and all this stuff because the people you know in that industry, and the people who really knew knew that they were all getting robbed. Do you know people who are just showing and you know that they don't really have it like that, and you feel that they're going to have a greater fall publicly in your circle when things go if things go wrong, or do you feel a greater sense of indulgence when somebody gets canceled when they've been fronting and stunting. If someone's just been sort of minding their own business and they say something wrong, is their cancelation different than somebody who's been fronting and stunting. Do you want to just grab them and pull them down. Someone's been flaunting their relationship, how perfect it is, flaunting perfect their bodies, and something goes wrong and you feel better about that at that time because they've just shoved it up your ass. So that's what I think. And I don't think that's talked about. Cancelations talked about, but the terms the cancelation policies not talked about. The terms of your cancelation is not talked about. And I think that's very important and very relevant. And like I said, don't care about celebrities. I don't care about who people are sleeping. If you've listened to the podcast, you know I don't care about these people ca you know, I care about what it means. I care about socially, what it means. I care about how we're living, and I care about lessons and takeaway. That's what I care about. So had Erica Jane not you know, had had the different people on the Housewives that say that constantly brag and freak out if you find out that they are being sued, or freak out if you find it that they really don't have the money, or that they owe people, or that they're renting their house, or that you know they had a bad situation, or that they have skeletons in their past. Are you more aggravated when they've pretended everything is perfect. That's the thing. It's so much easier to just be flawed and just be honest. But everybody needs everybody else to think that they're better than they actually are, and everybody wants to keep up with the Joneses. I just started zero. I just don't wear makeup, so when I put it on, I look good, We're like, wow, you look beautiful, And I really probably don't. I just the bar so low, okay. So being somebody that's always in pajamas always and never has hair and makeup on never, like really really never never never, probably nine at the time. Never. So when I go out, like I have a bottom mizza on Saturday, I'm gonna do my hair and do my makeup and try to look somewhere cute. And that's that's okay. And because I like my skin to be fresh and free always. I just don't like makeup on me. I don't like lashes on me. I don't like hair spray. I like just a Um. So I'll go out this Saturday and that'll be a thing like that's gonna be an hour more than I would ever take to go just out to dinner. When I got to dinner with pol put my clothes on, I put a little lip class on. If it's a summer it's great because it's a hat and sunglasses and it's the winter, and it was just put a ponytail and hope it don't, you know, run into someone. I know it sounds like maybe it's not making an effort. But I'll put a cute outfit on and some live class and I go to dinner. Um, I think time is so valuable, so that extra it could be like an hour and a half to get your hair and makeup done, So that extra hour of my life is not worth it to me. The nails, I don't wear nail polish at all. I never wear nail polish. I just get my nap nails done have been buffed because all that is time in my life. And maybe people are less busy. But then I look at these major celebrities and I think about, so I know how long it takes to get ready, Like I know how long it takes Beyonce or j Lo like three times, Kim Kardashian like three or four times that it takes me to get ready, becausey t can definitely takes a two to two and a half hours if she's doing something major, and probably like an hour and a half two hours. But if like there's hair stuff involved, like hair pieces or wigs are being or falls like the long thing, that's like a long time. So they have to do all of that then do like whatever the press of it is, like the theatrics of it, how exactly am I posing? And when did the jewelry get there? And what exactly is the bag and what's the overall look? And it's not just like when I do my hair and makeup, I just pray for the best to put on an outfit and the hair looks pretty much the same every time. I don't sit down and like, all right, I want to look like Joan of Arc Tomorrow, like Elizabeth Taylor. I'm going for this, I'm going for that, I'm going for God, Like they have a whole plan. So there's like a whole creative meeting too with stylists. And that's a job. And I know it's their job, and I know it's part of them making money. It's part of the whole thing. But from like a time suck perspective, so that would take up so much time. They're out like every night doing these events. So then if they have kids, how do you spend a ton of time with your kids? Because you gotta take your kids to school, back from school, dinner, night, bedtime, talk, fun, pumpkin pick in, Christmas decorations, all that. Then have a relationship, But then that person you're in a relationship also has that whole circus. I mean, I don't think that the men. You know, the men don't have the same circus, but they still have the whole stylist. And I forgot to even mention the stylist. I was just talking about the hair and makeup, the clothes. Oh my god. Any my assistant just said to me, like, do you want to have a stylus for your book cover? Shoot? And I was like, oh my god, if we had to bring over our own clothes, it's like a rolling rack and it's shoes and it's all this stuff. I'm like, sure, but that will be a whole process doing that and the different outfits and changing. I mean, it's a full time thing. So it's hard. It's hard to imagine two people both having to do that whole circus, both having kids, both having obligations, both having major careers. Like I don't know, I would be literally exasperated the entire time. Like the way j Lo showed up to that Dolt Jay Gabana thing in Venice was nothing short of theatrical like it was, and she had a different outfit every meal, and there were definitely a whole entourage. There was definitely a whole entourage they're doing that with her, But like, that is so much work. We're watching like an amazing show, you know, it's an absolute like Vegas. I don't mean that in a derogatory way, like an a spectacle show. It's just hard for me to imagine how you fit in time. If you go to bed at any kind of reasonable hour, I just know how many hours of the day there are and there aren't enough. And then forget about like cooking in your house and keeping your act together. And I know people have people who do it, but still you have to manage your stuff. So I have ideas and all that. It's it's just it's just interesting two think about it. What do you think about time? I mean, I value it so much. I valued it for a long time. I've taken so many things off the board that I do and for me personally, image is not something that I'm willing to spend time on when I'm ninety, I can promise you this. When I'm years old, I will not be around saying I wish I wore more makeup. I wish I had more selfies that look better. I wish I had more followers, you know, I wish I got that outfit right. I wish more people thought I would look beautiful. I will not be saying that. I will be saying, God, I'm so glad I spent all that meaningful time laughing and with my daughter and um, with all those experiences, like without being frazzled and rattled and just like always running. It's just the way that I am. So it's interesting to think about how you choose to spend your time. I choose to work when I have to, and then stack all the rest. Another question related to that is, is it is it possible to be in a good, healthy relationship and also flaunting it all the time. We see so many Hollywood couples. They spend years and years flaunting how amazing their life is, their relationship is, their gifts are, how much the person loves them, They're so lucky they met their soul mate. They write it on social idea, they wax poetic, they gosh and they and everybody watching it feels like absolute shit about themselves because either their relationship isn't as good and then it makes them feel better about themselves, or they're not in a relationship and then they feel like about themselves, or they're not as attractive, or their partner doesn't do as much for them. All of this is like to show, and then someone could say that it's aspirational, it's something to look up to. Is it aspirational to look at shiny pictures of rich and famous people showing how in love they are when we're just getting a snapshot? And then that's why people get excited and literally are like parasites when a couple breaks up. That's why a couple, as to say, we respectfully asked for your privacy during this challenging time, because the fans want to say, we respectfully ask for our privacy while you were fucking flaunting it with all your you know, lucks, good gifts and Valentine's Day and all the things that you have that we don't have. So you can't fucking have it both ways. You can't go flawed, how amazing it is, and then what your privacy when the ship goes sideways And I went through it, you know, with with I went through it with Jason, like I was like, hit me with it, I you know, And I put it on my show that things weren't going well because I didn't want people to think that it was. I don't like people to think that, like my life is so great and it makes them feel bad bad about themselves. It's kind of why I don't. Every day I post myself the way that I really am in pajamas and my hair wreck and my grays, and I don't care because that's what people really look like. And I don't want to post something that makes people feel bad about themselves and that's not true. It's effectively lying. It's effectively lying, and they don't like that, and I don't think you can spend so much time producing what your relationship looks like to other people and actually have it be good. I always say, you can make a lifestyle out of a life, but you can't make a life out of a lifestyle. So I know that when I'm with Paul, once in a while, I want to take a picture of us and look cute, or we're doing something funny, but like that takes it takes, it takes something away from our relationship. I like in that moment. You know, it's a little bit of like doing a little bit work, a little bit of work. It's like being on the phone. It's two seconds, and I so rarely do it. And Paul, you know, once in a while we do something really funny and then we later watch it on the story and we laugh and it has not It doesn't affect our relationship at all because we're not in a a reality show. And I literally never post about us, but once in a while I'll post something. I'll post somewhere. But can you get a picture of me? Because the girl does our social said she wants to get a picture of me in a bathing suit. This weekend or it's fourth of July or whatever, and I'll like say it like that because I'll feel like a real freaking loser because it's not something i want to be doing. But once in a while I'll do that and I'll feel a little cheaper as a result of it, you know. And so there's no way that people who are posting so much about their relationship and showing so much about their relationship and posing so much about the relationship, there is no way you can successfully do that and nurture their relationship. I do not give a ship. Like Harrison Ford and Clista Flockhart, they're in a good relationship. They went away. They're like they're not looking for it. There's so many people even like Blake Blake Lyiley and Ryan Reynolds, they do they have like their goals because they do it in like a comedic way with each other and like they're bantering and you can tell they enjoy it. But they're not flaunting their relationship, you know, and we and we just believe it because we just know that it seems like authentic. That's not flaunting, that's sharing. The difference between sharing and flaunting, I think, like I would put like dak Shepherd and Kristen in that same like sharing but not flaunting. There's some people that do it that way. I feel like even Michelle Gellar Sarah Michelle Geller. Um. So anyway I think sharing is it means sharing is a means to possibly having a successful relationship while showing everybody what is going on, but flaunting, I feel like we'll definitely do damage. And it also means it's like someone who doesn't really have money showing everything they have, like it's showing so much something's missing. That was really fun, that was different because it was really liberating. And it's just this is my place to get things out. Honestly, I just I'm missing that vehicle and that outlet in my life. So let me know how you think this went and if you want me to do more of these, because I enjoy it. It's just very freeing um and I want to hear what you think, so please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you so much,

Just B with Bethenny Frankel

If you can’t handle the truth you can’t handle this podcast. Just B with Bethenny Frankel is the bes 
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