Farewell, Adventure Era

Published Sep 11, 2024, 7:00 AM

This summer I came out of a lowkey depression and stepped into my Adventure Era. It's been messy, honest, and happy. PLUS: Don't give the busboy your number.

Okay, so let's talk about my Labor Day weekend, which was the end of a brief, crazy chapter that was so fun. It was the summer after my mother's death, a significant life change, and it felt like I was this butterfly. I feel like a butterfly that has been in a cocoon, like just sort of at rest, like a bear in hibernation. If you look at my steps on my phone, it says right now that my steps average this year. And people always ask me if I work out, and I don't work out. I just walk, so that's all that I do. But last year, the average steps I had for twenty twenty was three thousand, nine hundred and forty one a day. That's horrendous and not great. And I don't exercise, and I I was in a medium grade depression, Like I wasn't like, can't get out of bed.

I didn't even know I was depressed.

I was sort of a little uninspired in my life, and it manifested itself with not exercising, and.

I just was a little dead.

Do you ever get like just dead, You're just like not You're not you know, it's not great, it's not bad.

You're just like sort of like dead.

So that was my steps last year three thousand, nine hundred and forty one and my steps this year in twenty twenty four. The average seven six hundred and eighteen. So like that Celine Dion, I'm a live song that was playing like when my mother passed away, right, you know, to like for me to emerge.

It just felt like my anthem.

It felt like my body was propelling me to be alive, even even more than my mind, like or my heart. I just was like I just was out of a deep slumber. It was crazy. So with that, this enter my adventure era and I was doing therapy. I've been very serious about my therapy and working on myself and then eventually decided to enter into the dating space. Was open and honest about it, fairly public, not that you would ever know anyone I was dating, but like that, I have been just like flawed about it and this guy blew me off, or this one's a crazy person, or this one's a catfish or this one to you know, to share with people, because I think so many people go through so many things with the relationships. And that's why the dating podcast has been amazing, because it's just like let's talk about it. You know, we come in I was on the phone with my therapist today, and we come in with our own stuff, like we have our own not only DNA, our own triggers, our own things that inform how we conduct ourselves, and are we going to intervene in that? Are we going to work on ourselves so we change in future relationships, like, but there's a lot to navigate in dating.

So I decided to share it.

And I also messy, you know, like drinking and posting like a little bit buzzed, and just like I've been honest. I mean, I'm always honest, but it's just like the honesty of this new slightly more unhinged and messy phase has been a different story. So this summer the new beach house was like I really am alive. This is my dream to be on the sand and walk every day. That's the only thing I really, it's my therapy. So that was amazing. And then to say yes to like I was saying yes, like let's go, let's go out, We're gonna go to that, We're gonna go to this. It jammed me up a little. I was a little too accessible at points. You know, like I was going and doing personal appearances for free by accident because I thought that I was going to something social and then it became like a fan event in some cases, and I got ahead of my skis because I can be too accessible. That's what I'm told by the people I work with, Like I get my phone number out and I think, like everyone's my best friend and everyone has good intentions.

And I think the same thing with men.

I don't think I'm a public person I'm ready to go out with, so I'm going to tell them everything.

Like so I'm you know, I could be I'm too open. I'm either very open or very closed.

I don't have ad like I'm either I don't like people and I don't want to talk to anyone, or I'm out and I'm having three margarita's and I'm giving my phone number to the bus boy. Like it's there's not a lot of gray. So I've been living and it's been amazing. Also, like I've been getting a little I've been getting buzz and I don't like the way that makes me feel the next day. And but it's been super fun too, like staying up late sometimes and you know, I've had some romance which I'm not going to get into because it's now becoming something I want to preserve for myself.

So it's fun.

But like I've been a little over my skis, you know, like had to some days, Like I had to just like rest because it was so I was so tired from the night before, and like what did I do? And like a little juvenile for me, you know, but still alive and fun and happy. People around me say, I'm much happier than I've ever been. I'm like things at work are crazy flying in, like opportunities flying in. There's something I've to announce soon that is so crazy. Like it's like things are just coming. I feel like I'm acepentur and like animals are just flying like around me, like I'm the just crazy. Stuff is just swirling. So good energy begets good energy. I will tell you that you have to find a way to find your smile, like they said in City Slickers, find your happiness. It's easier said than done, because you may not even know that you've lost it. Who you surround yourself is big. If someone's dimming your light in your life, you have to step away from that. If you have people around you that are negative influences or just have negative energy or unhappy. These things are all real. These things are things people say. It's real people. It's contagious, Like it's hard to do and to discern, but you got to kind of just clear away the garbage and surround yourself with positivity. And I've been pretty happy so this past weekend, and I've had highs and lows. There have been days, you know, there have been dates where I think I like someone. Then it like goes low and you get a little depressed and you're gonna be happier alone, but you really aren't because you would love to ultimately get in a relationship. Are you ever going to meet somebody? Like you know, you go up and down. I'm really happy with my daughter because I have a full life and a career, But then you're a spinster. I mean, it's like it's a roller coaster. I'm sure many of you know that. You know, no two days are the same. Also, if you had six margarita's night before, you're going to feel a little differently today than you did last week when you were you know, doing a yoga chia practice.

It's like these are the roller coaster things we go on, and I do.

I did learn that, Like the thing that's really resonated is to get yourself healthy before getting involved with anyone else. Like we rush into wanting to meet someone because we get scared and we want to connect and we want to love and depending upon our past issues or abandonment or whatever, like you want something, But the truth is, you can't really go get something if you're a personal mess. You can't go get a job because you're going to be a mess.

At that job.

And I've hired people and had people work for me that are smart people that have had a mess in their life and they're a mess at the job and they get fired or it's a disaster. So you can't be that either because you could end up meeting someone amazing in a relationship or just to date. And like, if you're a disaster, and even if you're not a full disaster, it's best to go into to a new chapter trying to really work on yourself and say, am I the employee I would like to hire. Am I the person that I would like to date? Am I the friend that I would like to have, Like you know, am I the teammate on a sports team that I would like to be like that self exploration is really important, and that's been That's something that I'm really going to focus on in the fall. Like that's a big fall thing for me right now, not resting on my laurels of Oh, I did the work after my mother died and I'm happier, and then getting back into my old habits, Like even in dating, I see some of my old habits, my abandonment, my caginess, like my getting triggered, my not trusting people because of past experiences. I'm seeing that all come to the surface. So it's like time for like therapy to actually be intentional. So I was out in the Hampton's Labor Day weekend and I went out.

I've been out a bit.

I've been out with you know, I've seen I've had a little romance, and I been out in that regard a lot in the last several weeks. And then I was going to stay home because I just like the little highs and lows, just a little like the summer. Oh, that was what it was, the transition of leaving the Hampton's. The idea of a transition gives me anxiety. So it's like the summer's about to be over, and I have anxiety about the idea of it, Like, wait, we're not on the beach anymore, I'm not doing the walks anymore. But once it already, once it happens, then I'm okay. Like then I'm jumping into fall. Then I'm happy about where I am in the suburbs, and like the fall, the leaves and everything. It's like the idea of things are worse than the reality. The reality is no, I'm happy here, I'm happy there. If you're happy, it doesn't matter where you are. But the idea of the transition can give me anxiety. So but I'm still try to be super positive and say yes to things. So I was asked to go by my former assistant and her boyfriend.

Do I want to meet them? In mad talk?

And my inclination is always just like no, like blow it off, say yes, but they can stop by the house and just like punt it. But this was the summer of like yes. So Taylor I haven't seen in a long time, and I said, okay, Surfudge, I don't know, And I texted the person who runs Surflage and they said, oh, it might be fun for you.

Fifty cent is performing. Now, let me give you context on this.

My past relationship, fifty cent was performing one night and it sounded good and we got there and it was like a little crowded and difficult to navigate, and this person was not that comfortable with that, and it then makes you feel like self conscious about the other person and you want like them to not feel uncomfortable, and so lo and behold, we never saw fifty cent. We just left, and it was like, go all the way to man talk to leave, because when you walk on eggshells sometimes about how other people in your party are feeling, you can't relax. So this time I texted the person went to fifty cent had a great table and like was just open. And I'm not one who would normally wh would I normally want to be? Like, wait a second, I'm gonna go Labor Day weekend to Manta at the last minute to see fifty cent. It's gonna be a zoo. I'm gonna be ripped to shreds. Why would I do this? This sounds ridiculous. Everyone's gonna try to do this. This is like insane. It's like New year's Eve Times Square. But guess what I said, Yes, I got dressed up, so did they.

I met them.

I brought Tim Dillon, who has a podcast and is like a big, you know, very successful, opinionated person. He was like, he's a place of yes person too. He's just like sure, And I love that I found I made a new friend this summer that like is a place of yes. Like he's just like a good wing person. You want to go to the Mets game? My friends own the team. Sure, He's like, you want to go to the US Open last night? I have courtside tickets And to Bethany, I'm gonna speak to myself in the third person. That's that means, wait a second, I gotta get ready. I gotta get in the car. I gotta deal with the traffic. I gotta deal with the crowds. I gotta like a za. Why am I saying yes? I don't know. I always say no. So Tim says, yes, come in a fifty cent And for some reason, I'm like, but you can just wing it. He's like yeah, cause like he's not gonna freak out if there's a crowd and it's not my fault. It's not my responsibility, but in my previous life I've felt that way. So turns out Tim Dylan is the greatest wing man in history, and like my husband, so he comes and I've got my former assistant and her boyfriend. You wouldn't think this is a likely combination of these people, but like we're all there and we walk in and thank shout out to Jama Cardozo, like from Surfledge. I've supported the seruflage for years, just post about it and like always liked it. But like they treated me like Lady Gaga. I'm not kidding, Like sometimes a lot of times it goes sideways. Someone you know, it treats me like a loser, and I'm you know, it doesn't. It's just like I feel like a loser and we can't even move or walk or get a reservation cake, get a.

Drink, and that's life.

You know, that's totally life on this day, on this Labor Day weekend, to close out my adventure era summer, to just be place of yes to go at the last minute to see a hip hop artist. I walk in the seas part. I was having anxiety and thinking do I have my driver come in with me? Because last week. I was there and I was attacked by all these amazing women and talking to people, but like it's hard to step two feet. They gave me like a person to be with me the entire night, and we had this amazing cocktail waitress whose number I got. I also got the bus boys numbers, you know, and like we just had an amazing corner table, which meant that half of us were in like the restaurant, and behind me was the interior of the restaurant. There was an open window right behind me, and then to the right of me was the stage. Like I felt like I was in the middle of everything. This happened to me a couple of months ago at the living room in Miami, where they sat me on this major VIP couch in the center of the room, and I felt like Madonna. So this is this this night, I felt like Gaga. We just had a great table. You know.

I spent a lot of mine.

I spent thousands of dollars on like the bottle you have to buy or whatever nothing is. You know, they know I'm gonna do that, and that's why it's great that they did this. I tipped everybody I could see. I love bringing cash and becoming Antonio Montana and a night like this, like it's.

One of these nights and I'm just like.

And you got a hundred bucks, and you get a hundred bucks, so and I was like, it was giving fitty. The music was fun, I was drinking tequila. We had the best time dancing free and I loved surf luge because it's early. And two of the people that want to hate on montalk because it's become bougie and because it's bottle service in some places that is half fake news. Yes, there are places that do have bottle service, and of course they're going to try to make money in the only thirteen weeks that they have, which also four of them are going to be rainy, but they're also providing fifty cent why Cleff Jean, Like it's serious entertainment on the water. There's something for everybody. There's a little beachy area where people could just buy drinks. There's a regular bar, Like not everybody has to be a douchebag, like I chose that life, but like there's a pit in the front of the DJ where people are dancing, but it was civilized. Montog is great because it's highs and lows. It's fishermen, it's beach, it's life lifeguards. It's earthy, and it's Coachella, and it's douchey, and it's bottle service, and it's fitty, and it's Bethany, and it's every and it's assholes and it's not assholes. It's a melting pot. It's great, and the Hampton's overall. There's someone that I know that I'm spending time with who came for the Hamptons, to the Hamptons for the summer for the first time for several weeks, and they were all from They're from somewhere else, and they said, we thought it was going to be super sceny. We thought the Hamptons is gonna be superscny. And they realized the Hamptons is what you make of it. You can go over to Bill Bouquet in Sagharbor, to the Star Wars Bar and see every single doctor plastic surgeons work in New York City, okay, and every single divorce lawyer's client. You could see them all there if you want, Okay, But you go go to Montalk and like I said, you could see douchey bottle service, and you could see Coachella. You could see pilates instructors that are on Riya and producers, and you could see finance douchebags. You could see that one hundred percent. You could go to Hampton Bays and see people that are like bod. You could go to Greenport and see everybody making America great again, like at Claudio's drinking frozen drinks with their boats like the Hampton's. You go to the North the other Fork and go to a winery at the North Fork like you literally go to sag Harbor and have like Americana, like Americana little cute sea like sag Harbor Variety store, or go get a kite and like you know. And you can go to East Hampton and go to get a Louis VI time purse. And you can go to Southampton and see some wasps in Lily Pulitzer or go to like the little cheapos store that has like knock off Chanel bags on the side street, like it's whatever you want it to be. And the beaches are extraordinary. Cooper's Beach was named the second best beach in the country, second to Hawaii, So step the fuck off. If you want to hate on the Hamptons. Yes, you can see thirty dollars guacamola. You don't have to buy it, buy an avocado and make your own, but you can. You can be an asshole and buy the chicken salad that I made famous, or you could go buy a roast chicken for five dollars, seven dollars it can call it and make your own. Do whatever you want to do, but don't hate on it because I live there and I'm immersed in it and I know it. You know, like East Hampton Springs is for like real local, like it's just it's got everything.

So that's am against it.

You want to see rich people act poor, go to am against It. Rich people act like hippies and like Birkenstocks and eat granola chia. Go there for that. It's something for everyone. Sagaponic Goldman Sachs. You want to see the house from Billions, go to Sagaponic. Bag yourself a billionaire and get a yacht. You know, do whatever you want to do. So Surflage is amazing. The vibe is good. And they also it took them years to like get the program down, like it's not too crowded.

There's not like a fire Marshall issue. It's fun.

So then we leave there and we're going into sag Harbor and Tim is like, do you want to come to sag Harbor Tavern?

Now?

I have probably had five tequilas. That's what I think has happened. I think that's what has happened. And I don't think we've had dinner. Okay, So I am blind and we get to sag Harbor and I want to go to bill Bouque because that feels like klubby, and I want to meet this person that I want to meet there, and we this person says to me that like he's on a line.

I'm like, what are you talking about? A line?

And I'm like with sag Harbor and it's like weird. It's giving like on the end of the line for getting into a club in New York City, which is like, I'm like, what we get there?

Now?

I'm on a fucking line, like and you know Peppy Lapew at the front in the pinstripe suit, acting like it was Howard from the Palladium in nineteen eighty four to get into the club, like which was the hottest club ever, like getting into Studio fifty four in the like the seventies, in the eighties, seventies and eighties, was you know that was Brookshield?

It was and Andy Warhol, Keith Herring.

Like sag Harbor, like you don't understand the security process and the way treat you, and you're like graveling and begging for scraps to go in there, to be in the Star Wars bar, to be in the Housewives dumpster fire, to be in the divorce a Den. It's like so ridiculous. So I'm on the fucking line. So anyway, we don't get in. So now Tim had been saying we should go down to sag Harbor Tavern, and I'm two tequilaed in to remember I know this, like I know this by heart that the sag Harbor Tavern is the sister or brother restaurant to the Red Hook Tavern in Brooklyn that's known to have the best burger. Like that's what they say, the best burger, which they also say about Polar Bar in New York and other places Corner Bistro, Pj's, JG.

Mellons. There are different styles whatever. So but I and I.

Wanted to go to try the burger just because but like I hadn't, I wasn't obsessed with it. I wasn't fixated by it. It's got a line. One day, I'll go whatever. But in this moment, I'm not connecting that Tim Dillon is saying he's friends with the chef and it's at Sag Harbor Tavern, and I'm not connecting that this is the way to like just get the burger without having to go through any like lines or pomp and circumstances because it's late night. So now we go over there as like the leftovers, and he's got like fire pits outside and it's like this she cool environment, much better than Billbique, ironically, because this is like the sag Harbor Tavern with the burger, but it's just very it's vibing, it's across from the water.

It's like really nice.

So now Tim, I guess, is sitting with some very successful comedians. Andrew Schultz has like four and a half million TikTok followers and like sells out stadiums, and he was he did the Tom Brady roast and he's like a major comedian. I'm cross eyed, So I wouldn't even know that he's looking familiar, but like I'm that processing basic information. And I'm also with this guy that I'm hanging out with, and I'm just like having fun and living my life and we're just all like animals and chefs and animals are the same people. You should just know that they're the same humans. They're animals. It's late nights, it's gritty, it's jokes, it's inappropriate, it's politically incorrect. It's all just like it's all wrong and all so right, and just animals. So I'm the chef from Sarah Carbor. Tavern's there, this guy Andrew Schultz is there. All these other comedians are there, all these like put you know, people that work with him, managers, whatever. It's like it's like sort of this interesting version of la in New York, like in this backyard of the Saga Robert Tavern with Tim Dillon, who's like this irreverent comedian that like is so polarizing, and it's just like all my life, Like this is my life, this is these are my people, Like this is where I feel home. And we're just blasting each other and ripping on each other. And I walk up to Tim because I see that he as a burger cut in half, and I want to taste the burger, and they basically slap my hand like no, and the chef like no, because some of these people know I'm Chanelle and Chicken Salad famous, and I just wanted to buy it the burger, and the chef is like, again, I'm not processing information. But I later come to realize that he's like, no, you're not tasting like his burger, like you're getting your own burger.

So I forgot. I was just hanging out and hanging out with my my friend.

And and then like the burger shows up on this little table like I'm a pro, like I am the queen on a throne, and like there are jesters entertaining me, Tim Dillon and Andrew Shelter, the jesters, and like some minion is gonna come bring me like a cheese, take it away at once if it's not to my standing, like and I'm not asking for any of this, which is such a lesson that in life, like the universe brings you everything, Like I don't know, I would like die to meet someone like Andrew Sheltz and talk to him. I don't even know he knows who I am. I didn't even know who he was. I couldn't see I do you remember twirling my hands through his wife's hair, like I kept twirling her hair, like massaging her scalp. Why, I don't know.

I don't know her.

And I couldn't pick her out of a lineup, but I could pick out her gorgeous, rich and thick, chocolity hair, like dark almost black hair, but I and I also remember saying she just had a baby and whatever. But I was like fondling her hair. So I'm sitting at this table and like a cheeseburger arrives and like now it's a thing, and I get my phone out and I'm gonna do a TikTok review And I don't realize obviously how buzzed I am and that I'm gonna like do this review which is led by Tequila. And I cut the burger in half as one does, and it's dry aged beef.

And it's thick.

It's like a thick burger, not like a smash burger. And I think it's so thick that it's gonna be like dense and not like fluffy, and it's like enveloped in the cheese. It's not like a slice, but you could see the corners. It's like it's almost like it's just in robed in this cheese. No garbage on top, no no no tomato, no onion. It has like a crisp, a soft like I always used to when brims a little, I'd say her tush was like a brioche bun. It's like a shiny, soft type bun with like sesame seeds on the top, and the bottom is like at this good flatness that looks like a Portuguese bun.

And then it.

Does have like a almost steamed onion right under it, which I would sometimes be offended by.

But it wasn't raw.

It was what I later learned out to be that the scalding grill meeting the meat like just ever so slightly cooks that onion like tight, like okay, cut it in half, get the ketchup mustard mixture, take a bite, and it's like the juice is dripping down my arm, the steam is steaming my face, and people in my comments are like, it's too raw, and it was not where I was medium rare. Don't be a fucking savage animal eating a medium burger, and you let the chef he wants to bring the cow out and make sushi, that's his business, Like I'm letting him do what he wants to fucking do. Okay, the burger was sublime. It was so like delicious and fluffy and airy, and it was like a little like air like a throat pit, like a mattress, like just like a soft down mattress, and it was it was sick. And they have cottage fries, which are those round they almost look like potato chips round, but they're thicker with like a bend in them, like a like if the thickest ridgy potato could ever be. And there was such pride in that chef who's got the most famous burger right now, And he's covered in tats, he's got a rolex on, he's got baby skin like, he's got almost like reddish hair, pink puma sneakers. Like name is Billy doesn't want the fame, doesn't want to be in my video. Just wants me to like this burger because like he just wants the he's the pride of the burger, you know what I mean. And Andrew Schultz is like it's the Chanelle of Burgers, which is the greatest line of twenty twenty four.

I felt so proud.

I felt like I felt like more of a star there than like getting the an MTV Lifetime Achievement Award.

I just was like I made it like a chef is.

Coming over and like presenting a famous burger and then I can go get the burger and I want and that the burger has like over a million views on that burger, and like people like Tommy Mottola and Talia are reaching out to me, like we want the burger, like it's amazing.

So it was.

And then we all went back to Douche Bouquet Bill Bouque aka Douche Bouquet, and they wouldn't let one member of the group that we were within because they were wearing shorts. And of course I was battling with the doorman because it was ridiculous and we they were stupid. And I ran into somebody that I had gone on a couple of dates with. While I was on a date and there were houses, it was just like a shit show, and I said to the person I was out with who was meeting me that wasn't with me a fitty, I go, I'm coming in on fuego, like, don't light a match near me. And it was an iconic night, and Tim Dillon and my assistant and many people that night said it was their best night of the summer. And we closed out the summer with such a roaring bang, and I felt like responsible, I felt like proud.

I felt like, wow, that was so fun.

And I would not normally tell you guys this, but the Lord's work is never easy. The next day, I woke up to leave the Hamptons for the summer, threw up in the garbage can in my car, drank laid in the bed, drank green juice. And today I'm on day five of like my campaign for excellence, like just it's been all like organic and no drinking, and like my body is a temple and I have massive news in a couple of weeks and I need to like look great, and I'm in my supermodel era, so I went for my adventure. I've gone from my adventure era to my supermodel era.

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