Just B with Bethenny FrankelStrong opinions and big laughs. That’s what you get when you get Bethenny and David Spade together! They cover it all…behind-the-scenes stories from Snake Oil, stand-up comedy secrets, and David reveals something even his biggest fans don’t know about him.
Plus, so much more that we can’t put in writing!
My guest today is actor and comedian David Spade. You may know him from movies like Grown Ups and Joe Dirt, but now he's the host of a new game show called Snake Oil. This is just be with David Spade. Let's get into it. We're friends now. This is very exciting that I'm friends with David Spade. Like, you know, I'm a comedy snob and I don't like people that aren't funny. So you added to my funny arsenal. Yeah, how did you think Pete Davidson handle what's going on? Like his the opening, you know, statement about his father, which is tragic and kind of saying it's time to you know, it's time to laugh. I thought that was a pretty good like segue into having a comedy show. There's not really any way to do that. And have you been through anything like that where you've had to kind of be funny when it's not that funny?
You know. I'm sure he did a good job. I didn't see, but I know they you know, like nine to eleven, there's things where you have to sort of make the transition. I mean, everyone's tuning into a comedy show, so you sort of know ahead of time if you're going to try to escape the news twenty four hours, that that's what you have to do. It is hard to be on it also and be sort of light because when you're a part of it, you're you know, you're not an exception to all the problems going on I've had. I haven't had that situation. I have had being mad and going on. You always have to be sort of fun in a good mood to do comedy. And there's fights at SNL. There's fight, there's ore, there's getting off the phone in the green room when you're going on to do stand up and you're and you're in a bad mood, and then you have to just walk with You're like, it's so hard to change up when you're in a bad mood to just be like yeah, da da da right into John Benet Ramsey. You know, you have to be like, oh, it's very hard to do. So that that's tough on comedy book.
Well what do you do?
Because also you have like a we were on the show Snake Oil together everyone David Spade hosts.
It's a it's on Fox. It's hilarious.
I have to say it is so I keep saying it's so stupid and smart it is and you're the thing is you are like dispassion and being unflappable works for it. Like, so you can be a little grouchy in your comedy because it's kind of your whole stick right, your bit and you it's who you is.
Yes, when we first met, it was Will Arnette said, I knew him. We just did SmartLess and then he goes, you know, you would you want to do this thing because we had a blast on podcast. And then he goes, I said, I'm not really, I'm not against game shows. I'm just not my thing. I'm not like high energy. You know. I wouldn't mind an easy job where I say, I literally thought that job was spin the wheel and pick a letter and then I would just be like this a half hour and then money gun comes up with a spray me. Uh, but it was it was really hard, So I said yeah because the idea sounded funny to me, kind of like shark tank but one of them's fake, you know, and that and and it's kind of more comedic once you see it, like you you were on my favorite one. I'm not even bullshaite. You were on the one that I said should go first, because A, you're such you're perfect for the show. You're no bs, I don't know if you've ever heard that before. You're very perfect. You've never heard that. And but you have a charm about you and you're and you're smart in business, and people buy that already because it's been proven. I guess so I would never believe it, but it's been.
Yeah, but it's okay.
So you go out there and then you also are passionate about winning money for the person that doesn't have a lot of money, and that's a really fun thing that you don't get to do in life, really, and it's and it's on the line where you your decision steering her could ruin it. And that's that's a weird part of the show too that I didn't really notice until I was watching it for a while and doing it, going, this is so tough that anything they say to them if they somehow lose, because all the stars were very sweet and really pulling for their person, like you want them to win, of course, and your girl wanted a lot that was.
Oh and we already saw that. Yeah, I don't know if my other one, I'm not going to say what happens. But in one case, the guy he doesn't listen, so he didn't even consult me. Do you remember the one when the guy didn't even consult me and then he made a decision.
You know I don't because I remember this one the most with the woman because she's Arizona.
Yeah, oh right, okay, the show.
The way it came out. Then I said, okay, let's try it. I just said, is is it easy? Because I'm not really They go, we want you to be the anti game show host. I said, well, it's better because I'm more like a letterman than a talk show host. I would make fun of the show. I'd make fun of myself. I'd make fun of them. The production and they said, yeah, now when we shoot it, it's probably four hours you were there, So we got it down to four hours, so it was seven. At first, I'm like, god, damn, what could possibly be happening for seven an hours? And there was a rumor that this was going to be easy at one point, but I guess that was in a separate meeting because I was busting me home. And so we do what we do, we do it, and a lot of stuff gets taken away because you just really need the nuts and bolts to show the game and that's it, right, So I like it because the products are actually hard to decide which is snake with That's the best thing about.
The whole show, Beyond Beyond like they could.
Yeah, they and it's not easy at all.
No, no, and it's a bait and switch for the audience. It's a great I have to say, good for you, good for Willernet.
It's a great show.
I hope they continue and I hope you you know, are on it forever because it's fucking hilarious and very stupid. I came in lack, I came in with your energy level and I left like giving everybody cars.
In the audience, you were like this, Yes, I liked it.
Well, you did a great job and it was fun because you know, I want I want them to show more of the thinking out loud, because you know that last in EU episode that they are the one that they had already there's five products and you're trying to decipher which ones are real and we were there for like ten minutes do it, you know, and the show it's shortened, but it's like that one wouldn't make sense. You're just thinking for the audience because everyone at home. You know. The good thing about it is people call me and go, you know what, I got two out of the four, or I got you know, my friend really was doing well because you can't help, but just kind of ship, you know if you walk by and go, no, well that it's fake, and then they show the next one, which looks even more stupid, and you go, okay, go back to the first one, and that's what happens. You start to go, remember the one time when there was a big bear which you really broke that case wide opened.
With the batteries. Yeah, crack that case.
You broke him down. It was like the spotlight with the investigator and he goes and you go, what does it run on? You kept going deeper and he's like, I've only been coached to this bar. And then he started vamping and he was not. He was like, it runs on double A and I'm like, I think I've seen smaller vibrators that run on you.
Right, you're right, well, your your girlfriends have to use vibrators because you can't get it done. But yeah, well you asked me to audition, so hopefully I'll come up with some good material because I want to open up for David Spade.
That's my, that's my, that's.
Right, you say funny things on text. I was like, maybe.
I did do stand up one night one time, and I didn't know you. Otherwise I would have called you for your advice. But I have a lot of respect for comedians for this one reason. I literally I texted Chris Rock, Ellen, Kathy Griffin, Kevin neal In. I ended up speaking to Kevin a bunch of comedians, and every single one responded to me with advice. Ellen said, be funny, like that's literally what Ellen said. But Chris Rock gave me three paragraphs on really what to do. And I learned through that experience that a everyone has a different not just style, but like technique, like how to organize it, which I found fascinating. And like I remember Chris Rock saying the end in the beginning is important, the middle is just a flow, and come, don't come with a posse, go private, and I think Kathy Griffin said the opposite of the private part. And then Kevin Neilan was the one who really made me realize that everyone had their own different vibe like, is it in and out with quick jokes? Is it like telling a whole story? And Kim Whitley told me that my way is ranting, and I didn't even think of it that way, So I thought it was interesting to organize it, and I wanted to know, like what your process is.
I saw you that last week.
A bon stage, and I saw you working through stuff, which I think is really cool and people probably like to watch you, like at the piece of paper working through stuff.
So what is your process?
You know? First of all three and nice everyone told you advice because it's so hard because when people are newer, I just feel like you have to do it so much. You learn yourself, but you have to keep going up and like recording it and then you it's excruciating to listen to yourself, but you listen and you go. I thought that one worked, but really what worked was something I said after that, So I got to keep that. You know what I mean, and you're listening to it down and go because just the whole thing is a blur. It probably goes by fast than anything, and it's terrifying when you're watching that way. When I went out and did the first Johnny Carson like, that's old, am. I got to do one, Johnny Carson. When I walked out and I'd seen it this way where the curtain and everything, the thing that threw me is walking out, and then I saw cameras, audience, Johnny behind me, and all my whole brain was just filled with how different it was than I pictured. I was like, got the floor so shiny and black, and I had to walk up to my little ex or my star and I'm like and I thought, oh, it was like sol emotion. I go wait, I got to go now, and I couldn't. It's hard to remember your act because this is occupying my brain. So that's separate issue, but it's definitely takes a lot of repetition. When you saw me, that was actually a really fun night. That was like an unpaid corporate event, and corporate events are the ones where you get paid a lot to come in and do it for, like you know, an insurance company. This is all our best guys. They come here, we bring our employees, We have you tonight, stevianis tomorrow and everyone's a surprise and then they get to have an hour of fun. And they're not always easy because they're like in the middle of you.
Know, shitting and talking right, and then we.
Got a surprise and like, oh, this fucking guy. So then I go on and I'm like yeah, but they're not a comedy crowd audience. It's usually lit. It's like a cafeteria. Sometimes it's in the day. They don't always go well, but it's really a grind because you really have to stay on your act because when you're not going well. That's hard too because I'm editing as I go. I look at my set list and I'm like, get rid of that. They're not going to no, nope, and I got to go go. The other night I did the same thing. So for the audience at home, is you come to an event. I think your daughter was a fan of all that half Medicine Sandler stuff and I was like, the best.
In the wrong Missy is a movie ever?
Yeah, And so I said, the best thing is there's one event where me, Rob and Adam are all going on just coincidentally. I think even we're aware of it. And it's like a pay you know, they paid people pay to come in and it's for they're building a new urgent care whatever. So that was a fun one for us because it was us three, and it's kind of fun for the audience because we know eachach other, so we're kind of making fun of each other. But Rob goes on. It was still sunny out. That's a kiss of death. When it's still light out. It's very hard to get the at.
It's so fascinating.
Yes, and there's no roof, so the laughs go straight up. It's outside, it's at my manager's house, and then behind it is the ocean, so it's two pretty it's you'd rather look at that. So when then gets I said, I cannot go on until it gets darker. So Rob's vamping. Then they do the auction. Rob is great, you know, he loves that stuff. He's better at it than me. And then I.
Loved him by the way I loved him.
Yeah, he's a good guy and he's got a wrap out there sometimes, but he is super nice family man and we always crack up on the road. I've known forever, and so he was doing great. Brought me up. I went off the notes because those kind of things. People have more fun if you're off your act. You know, if I make fun of the house, if I make fun of you know who was in the front row, Oh Pierce, President, Sidney Grawford, So I didn't see them. And then in the middle I'm like, hey, you know, blah blah blah, joke joke, and then knowing Adam's five feet away laughing, and then I'm oh, yeah, my favorite joke was when my joke bombed. I look at my set list and I go, oh, my god, this is Adam's setlist. No one jokes suck. I'm reading the wrong one, Adam. These are horrible. So any joke at bomb that was a good crutch to go to. And then but you were laughing at which.
One the dog one, David, which obviously you'll do it or not do it, but does this thing about like you, you're talking about the perspective you are the dog. You're talking to us from the perspective of the dog, and I we were crying.
Yeah. You know a lot of animals I really talk, and my active bees talk, the dog talks. I don't really think of it that way, but later I look through and I'm like, God, that's part. Maybe that's something that's one of my hooks that I do because it just makes me laugh when you look at other perspective. That one is the dog that doesn't act embarrassed enough when he falls at my house and he acts like nothing happened. Uh, And so I walk you through with the dog. What's really going through his mind anyway you have?
Oh, you're like God, He's like, hey, that was my bad.
I fucked up and I did overshoot the whatever he said, it's really fucking funny.
The zoom sucked up. He's like, I came in too hot. There's hardwood floor. I didn't time it right. I have long nails going to fall. I started to spin. I was hider playing Jesus Take the Wheel. I hit the piano. It was a ship show. Yeah, obviously knew what happened. I acted like I didn't. I walked away. Hey, so what were you guys watching? Magnum? But I did know. And let's keep this in the house because you know, a lot of the dogs this neighborhood look up to me. So it's really just just just a long string of talking like a dog, and it's it's funny to me. That's a clean one too.
That's a clean of Jesus Take the Wheel was the best part. But that that's my favorite part. Jesus take the wheel. I don't know why, and that like that's umped off the page. And then Adam was but he also, I don't know if that's coincidental, did something about his dog and his dog looking at his penis, but his dog looking at his penis, and he's like, I know I saw something about it. I'm not going to give up this joke because you guys are on the road, but I just I don't know if there's something there with you guys and animals, like the prospective of animals. Everyone loves pets. It's fucking hysterical, like what they're actually thinking.
I don't know.
I was crying, Well, what really funny.
We're in the back. You know, when you do a corporate event, just more inside baseball, they usually say keep it clean, and that's tough because because you can't always keep it clean. But they mean, I won't say the rouchy version, but they had one guy there that was talking about going down when I grow something for fifteen minutes and you know, people are eating oal so I think that's what they mean. That's really what they mean. They don't mean, don't say the effort people can handle it, and mine is kind of light and stupid, so it's more silly where even if I'm talking about porn, it's not even that dirty, where no one complains after when I do shows, so I can work stuff in or they say, don't even say the effort, and I go okay. I say fifteen times, no one even notices because it's not filthy dirty, you.
Know, right right right.
You just don't want people recoiling like holy shit, this is rough and Adam backstage. I go, shit, there's kids here, and I don't know, man, are you do you have anything dirty? He goes, I got along and be clean. He goes five seconds. I can't. I can't go one song without it. I said, oh yeah. So I said so I don't care, you don't care, and he goes no, And I said, they don't care, and then I asked Curvi it's and he said no, no.
Only kid was My daughter was the only all.
Though, and I go, shit, there's kids here. They go there's one and she seemed like she could handle it.
So to give you guys context, Mark Kervitz is a power manager who I've known for thirty years. A girl that I know dated him, was in love with him, and he just he was like her big and he wasn't that interested. So it never was the opposite of that because he didn't come around for.
That side story, was it.
Yeah, he was, she was in love with him.
So anyway, he was always a power manager even back then, always in comedy. And I used to work at Broadway Pictures for Lauren Michael's like coincidentally did the Tommy Boy and Black Sheep premieres. So I've been in your sphere for a long time. I remember you being in Lauren's office with Chris Farley on his couch when I was working there. So Mark Irwitz, I texted him a while back and said, because Brinn loves comedy, and I said, listen, I know there's nothing going on now, but she's obsessed. She's seen all of Adam Sandler's movies. The wrong Missy's her favorite thing. Like I've told him this stuff. So he said, this is your night, you gotta come. And then the charity emailed me after I had paid for the tickets, booked the travel, canceled a trip to go away somewhere else and said, oh, you have a child, and this is PG seventeen. I said to Mark, this is fuck now. It's like two days away and I'm going. And he's like, listen, they just don't want to be performing their acts.
Or a bunch of kids. So I'll get you in. It's my house.
So Brinn was the only kid, and the three of you are very I mean, that was dirty. And afterwards she was like, ma, I want to go take an improv class.
You know.
By the way, let me say your daughter was so I said the rober out of vaccine because we Gervitz came back and I said, Adam Beth that he has your kid here, will you say? And he said, yeah, yeah. He's always nice about that stuff, especially if it's not overwhelming. I think that's what anyone is. You are like if you're with too many people and there's picture starting, you go, oh, this whole restaurant is getting in on this once you open it up. So he was sweet. Your daughter was so genuinely like nice and innocently sweet. It's it sounds crazy, but it's not as common as you think. She was just very complimentary, nice and was not pushed. She not anything. I just was like, walk away, going I want a sweetheart. That was so good job. Thank on you. You've heard some credit to And then I remember I saw at Gervitz, that guy, the rich guy that the power managers a bit strong, but he is my.
Man many power manager.
He does have Neil and who's a genius, Zach Galfanakis, Me, Bill Maher and Dana Carvey, Dennis Miller, Sam Mary's involved in. They have so many there.
Yeah, you're right, there's comedy factory over there.
Normy at far you know, so forever. They have a lot of SNL. But I did that gig. He has his own that wasn't his show, remember, because we're making fun of it was his house. He lent like an old cheesecake factory. And and and that's the one I forgot to say because it kind of does. And he has his own charity, you know, for eb So we do it, you know. And and one year I opened for like Jackson Brown. The next year was they have a comic Zach Alph and Augus did it with Tom Petty or you know, staying or something. So it's always fun. It's the same small area. It's like a great place to show. So I've seen Zach, who I think is high hysterical and he's got his notes out and I'm like the same thing. I go, there's a ton of kids here. I go I did last year. And when I got up there, I I was little thrown because they're sitting in the front. It's like a it's like a family barbecue. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, these jokes aren't all my dog talking and funny things. This is like so I go, what are you gonna do? And he goes, I, ah, shit, I gotta be clean and these other stuff. Then he goes up. He does one joke and he goes, yah, fuck it, and he goes right into all the dirtiest shit within one joke he got. I think he goes, uh, this isn't dirty, but he goes I saw Michael J. Fox at Shaky's and guys, he was getting a pizza. Shaky's is a little rough. But and then he did another one which I don't think I can do, Heather, because I think he doesn't do it anymore. But it was so dirty and we were like this. Everyone was Macaulay calking in the audience.
I love how you have an audience when you do podcast, You have your own audience. You have like a built in snow do No.
No, I have about forty people here and they come over and there's a spillover room where they watch on the monitor and no, they get paid. They all get an apple. I like my Snake Oil audience. Every time they go go all five, bet five, I go, don't listen. These idiots. They don't care. They yield at the last person. They don't. They walk with the same money you lose on YOURRS. This part, I'll give it all bts, which I have to. I give Snake Oil this because it is they try to run a really tight shit there. I was new to it too. You're probably like I'm there, you know, like four days when I saw you, So I'm getting used to it. But your person, you help your contestant, which is how the show works. Celebrity helper that knows business. She was a sweetheart, you know, and she the game is slightly company and that's what we're trying to simplify it. But we I overexplained it, which is half my battle going. I can't. We're talking to them first like there's seventh fiders and now like their first fid it's like they're looping stuff in to go and again the words snake. It's not a real snake, it means And I'm like, so they just really have to make sure one understands every literally single person. So I say to you too, this you got to the final round. I could say this because is already here. You got the final round. Now in the final round, there's there's all these products. It's gonna sound crazy right now. People at home are going, let me see by fallow you there's three products. One is snake, will two or read. You have to pick the BAC one and you get fifty grand. If you want four products a little harder one is snake, you get seventy five. If you do all five, which is the hardest, and you pick the one, you get one hundred. And right when I finished, she goes five because the crowds going and you use and I go, wow, okay, uh okay, five. And then someone in the crowd goes she doesn't get it, and oh do you not get it? And she goes, no, not really, and I go, oh, okay, well, and we had we stopped, and then they came over. The producers came over to you guys, and I walked over while they're explaining it because it is a little complicated, and she if she didn't get it, like legally, we want to know know what you're getting into. And a lot of people do pick five because they go, fuck it, let's right. I didn't come here to you know, right, I walk over it and I was gonna make fun of you because you know everything, and you go, this is so hard, and I go, why do you not know? This is so easy easy? You're now, well, this fart is a little and I go, right, So, anyway, you guys obviously got it. And then she did it, and then she won. Actually you were the one with the baby with all things coming out of his head.
I'm giving it.
I mean, guys, guys, David, he's the hero, he's wearing the cape, he's the guest.
So well, the customer is always right.
But no, two hundred and twenty thousand dollars, this woman won five products. I picked the one that was snake oil, and no one did that the whole week. They said, so I'd like, I mean, my prize.
We killed it, and it makes we were realizing what makes a good show, and what makes a good show is when somebody like that wins a lot of money, and it was and my reactions are real. My friend in Arizona goes, I actually like that you are. I don't know if you're acting, but you you're shocked, and I said, yeah, I tell them I don't want to know. So I'm just as dumb as everybody. And I'm always in my head going, well, that one's sort and then when it is real, I can't believe it. And like the rat heart necklace? Was that on your show? Yep? The rat heart necklace? And I go, no chance. And then it goes up against something stupider, and I'm like, it's like meat whiskey or something one God, damn.
No, no, you're great.
It's either a rat's heart is in a vial around your neck. That that or your grandmother's ashes have been put into an etch of sketch so you can do art with your grandmother's your dead grandma's ashes. I thought the ashes was right, because a rat heart insane?
Would they go? So when they quiz them, they go, you you have your own rat? Or do you have to bring a rat? And she goes, we have rats? Or you send this a rat you like and you dig out.
It's hard, right, what's that shipment process? Like yeah, yeah.
Any FDA or anyone any agencies of all this. She's like, no, it's sort of an underground thing.
It's actually it was smart of will our Nett to have you do this, because it's like, really, you kind of have had an alternative career to say the least, like you always do depraved, fucked up shit, and this is like the perfect mainstream network television depraved thing that you get to do. I mean, have you created your career like by design or do you just fall into things?
Like have you have you created?
Did you set out with a trajectory for your career, like this is how I wanted to go, and I'm just doing it my own unusual way.
Unfortunately I didn't read all those books because when I was started stand up, I said, if I make enough to pay my bills, I will quit school. I'll quit jobs at school. And I went early because I made eighty a week, and I said, okay, I'm there. And I was like, looking back, when eighty dollars, that's where you thought was the ceiling. But that was my only goal. I don't want to borrow money. I don't want to be reliant and no one. My mom will get mad at me if I leave Arizona State because I want to do this. Once I realized I want to do something that's different. A lot of people don't have a luxury. You want to do something I did.
No, I agreed, that's so funny. I was just talking to someone about their kid. They were saying, he doesn't have a passion, like it's very Usually if you ask for something in the universe, you really could get it. But most people don't know what to ask for. They don't know what they want. It's a very poignant that's a very and it's interesting statement.
You had a path.
I was going into advertising because I like that. My dad did that, my brother was doing it. I said, I kind of like it. It had a creative to it, and it was sort of cool, you know, And I said, I could do. Any job is going to be hard. I think it's hard now because there's a lot of pressure to be an influencer or something like it's like a pretend thing that just it's easy think the world, like I just have to look pretty or just run around and trick people and make them look stupid. And I can make money. So it's a little blurrier now. Back then it was like real jobs. It was like you want to be a carbon.
Who knows it had structure? You're saying there was a little bit of structure to it.
It's like a nine to five blah blah. And going into stand up, especially in Arizona, is not the number one thing. It's like too much of a pipe treat. It was even probably worse than going to lam being an actor.
You know, even though it's so it's so nuanced.
And that it would never happen. Yeah, no one was famous except maybe you downs who I know you follow on Instagram?
Yeah, of course follow im.
A bomb back and you know these people that when I grew up are like these are our star so fine, but so I get Well, your question was, I didn't ever think of SNL or anything. I wasn't a character guy. I loved SNL, but I thought if I could sort of crack this code of stand up, it's so hard, which made it so great because I'm like, I was kind of I thought it was kind of smart, but not that funny. You know, there's everyone that's funny around work and this, and they get up there and bomb because it's a different muscle. So you got to try to do that. So I tried to do that and then get a little better, teams a bit better all the time, and then get a little more. But you know, my big hook was there was nothing. There was no one when I came to LA that was twenty with white blonde hair that looked fifteen. So I wasn't even the best. I had a hook. Here's here's the lineup. When I go to the first night, Leno Seinfeld, Paul Reiser, Kevin Nelon. I'm like, these guys are all like thirty five growth, but I was just didn't look like a New York comic and that was interesting.
Wow, So you went to New York and I was La. Wait, that was La. You just said I went to New York.
I started in LA and that's what the chalkboard said of the improv And I was like, and I did amateur night and these guys helped me get on and they said, yeah, you can call them for spots. I was like even they were like, are you shitting me? Like right away, So I drove from Arizona back and I'd stay on their couch. I do like a spot at midnight, and then forties that I do a spot at eight thirty, and that was my week, and I got twenty eight bucks each. I think it's still like forty five. It's not a lot, and that's where I was supposed to live on, so I couldn't live on that, but I'd already quit everything. I had to borrow a few bucks, and then I got a movie because I was getting a lot of auditions just because I was the improv as a as an actual comedian but looked young so high school parts and stuff. So anyway, I'm trying to fit in the steam of what my lofty goals were. Everything. It was not an overnight success. It was a series of small breaks that turn in seemed like a big break. So SNL is a big break, right.
But it feels like golf, like you're going one hole at a time. Some are more struggle, but you're moving in like a direction that you know you're in the car and it's going in the right direction, but you don't know where you're getting off and what's happening on.
The club in Arizona got me on. That was a fucking huge thing. They let me keep coming in go to La the Funny Boys. This comedy team got me an audition that was a big break, and then I got on, and then I got through the spots late Night, and then I got the host, and then I got an audition. Then I got a little part here that I got a Police Academy movie, and I got on the HBO Young Comedian Special with Rob. Rob got on it. We were friends, Rob Drake Saylor, Dennis Miller hosted, He helped me Gerbitz they were producing it. That helped, and then I got from nat Or Michael saw that, and so it just sort of I turned into a writer as no. I didn't want to be. It was flattering, but they said you can be a writer, performer, but mostly just right for a while, and I was like, it's too hard. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm a fucking middle act. I'm not even a headlined. So I wrote there and they're like, write for data, carve you right for Mike Myers. And it was a great lesson in running with people faster than you, because every single person that was better than me, so it was very hard to it took a long time to get better.
Coney, write your stuff. Now, yeah, all their stuff.
I've always written and wrote on SNL, wrote my own stuff. But uh, and you get better at it. But then once I think I have a decent stand up, so once you start writing sketches, it's just such a no one's really helping. So I have a legal path. We don't have laptops, so I have to go to Conan O'Brien, Bob Odenkirk, Robert Smigel, Greg Daniels, suit at the office and kicking. And these guys are so good and they weren't super famous. They were just great, you know, And and I'd ask them how do I what do I start with? And how do I? And no one they don't not care. They deserve in their own lane. They helped Cone and help Bob, and then you know, Sandler came a month or two later, and then Farley and Chris Rock, so we all sort of started together. And then we all didn't really know how to do it. So you're not getting really written in something. I don't I look too much like Dana Carvey, and Dana was the best on the show, So I'm not getting really fed. I'm in a mess like this. They give me a little warm, and then I want another one because I get you a weekend update and a week later I'm like, now what they're like, you just did weekend updates. I'm like, I know what. I'm here every week.
I gotta do sory competitive.
You know, like, why aren't you on? I'm like, because it's a miracle. I'm even in the building. This takes a while. I gave up on me, but doing SNL without being like a super improv like you know, doing impressions and characters. So once I sort of started in the Hollywood minute, there's different things where Lauren is like, just do more like that, to be like the Bill Murray where you're just kind of yourself, and that was a good that kind of clicked with me. I was like, yeah, Bill Murry and his movies is always kind of Bill Murry and so interesting. I thought, I like that because I like Bill Murray. I'm not I'm not as good as Bill Murray, but I'm saying just the idea of like you're just kind of a version of that. I'm not immersing myself like.
De Niro, right right, right, right, So you've made money, You've you've proven yourself, you're successful, you've been in movies? What is your goal now? Like, what do you want? What do you why are you going on tour? What do you enjoy?
What's your favorite part of this whole business?
Like?
What are your goals right now?
Right? That's a nine parter. The first question, Well.
It's got a Chris Rock says.
Every time, like the Wrong miss he goes, he goes, Wrong Missy's number one in the world for a week or two. He goes, this will buy you six months and showed it. That's all you really until people forget and then they go, what do you do? I see people in the street Cavaar, hey man Huber Now, hey guy, Uh you're you're my favorite? Uh? What do you got coming out? That's just a random thing. People just say, what movies you got coming out? I go, Oh, the Wrong Missy's out right now? I didn't see that? What else? What else? Dude? It took a fucking year to plant, a year to shoot it, and a year to come out. You're already three years back in my movie career now, so now I got to another one and it won't be out for two more years.
And guess who's still watching The Wrong Missy? Though, who still thinks about the Wrong Missy at Brinn rand now and.
It's that wrong Missy really clicked. That thing went bananas. They said it was the top two comedy of all time there and then it's in the top ten of all movie anyway, we got lucky with them anyway, So and Lauren the Missy was the best part. So so I do that and uh what, I I don't know. I do have a couple of beans in my jeans. They're going away quickly. It's hard to keep making money a lot of things. You know, some people don't know a lot of things you do, don't. You don't get paid a lot for some things you do, shockingly, so you really probably couldn't tell if you were, you know, hosting the Oscars. I used to think if Jerry Seipelt was on, you know, the Tonight's show, he got ten thousand dollars. That was my number in my head. I thought you being like twenty and.
You got interesting.
Go to Allen and you get four hundred dollars. And I'm working on my bits for to do fifteen minutes out there and try to be funny. It's like so much work.
Yeah, you're making a point you're saying.
The corporate gig we talked about that is, you know, can be boring or you can bomb because they're eating chicken that pays doing a brand deal commercial. But the other stuff is all just marketing for that and even the wrong Missy. I bet people think you made millions and millions of dollars, and I would you didn't. You made money, But it's not crazy in.
The movie biz. Sometimes you I would never get the best comedy out there, so you get a comedy, yeah, especially the beginning, like when I'm doing my first movies after Tommy Boy was very lucky to get that was more so here I am doing those. But when I'm off on my own, I'm not getting Sandler's movie. You know, you don't. They go to back then maybe Will Smith or you know, Sandler was blowing up or whoever ed whoever the big comics were, And so I'm getting ones that are dinged up a bit, scripts that were passed on, but they go, hey, we still want to make it. We won't make a movie with you. Can you look through this pile of dog shit with cogwebs audio if you can find something? And so it was up to me to go, let me take this, rewrite it. And that was lucky to have some skill of writing and say.
Nice, I didn't know that. That's amazing.
We can make it a releasable movie and it's very hard. And then we came up with our own ideas, like Dick you Robert's former child star. That's a unique idea that even Paramount said, we actually liked this so much. We want to buy you out and give it to Jim Carriss and we want to a million dollar.
Movie and wow, wow, and then you've been the bridesmaid a couple of times.
Yeah, but I did it, you know, And I said, I get the business. I don't. And I think it was John said, I know you heard this rumor. It's crazy, you know. And I said, John, even if it's not a rumor. John Goldman apparently he was a green lighter over there, and he said, you know, we had talked about that, but we were going full forward with this. We just love the idea. And I said, John, you come to me and say you want Jim Carrey at a height of his career. You know, I get it. It's it is just business. I don't think you hate me. I just think you're just on a chart going we can have a Jim Carrey movie this year, you know what I mean? That kind of so I get, but it's been a tough battle of just getting writing, hewing, punching up anything I get, trying to make it better. So when you say what do you take? I take something, and you sometimes take an opportunity where you think you can make it better because you're not always going to get a ton of opportunities. So when you're knack in classicow, I don't do TV, I don't do this. You go take something and be so they have to notice you.
I agree, and I do. I feel we feel we sound like we're the old people in the room, and we are. But I just think that a lot of young people want instant gratification and want to know because of shows like Shark Tank. Frankly, they think that at twenty four they should be know exactly what trajectory they should be on. And I think it's a disservice because I think the road is that you know, you don't know where you're going to get off. You may hit a roadblock and then something amazing happens. I think, just like the process is amazing. So many things have happened in my career that I would never have could never have envisioned. So that's why I mean, and you're still on that road, and that's why I ask, like you're going on tour with Rob and Adam right now, like it's starting because.
You mention I go on the road on my own and now it's Adam wants to go on tour now, and I'm like, we had all summer off, so I have to go on my own tour and then I jump on some of Adams.
But is that is that like the band is back together? Meaning because it's boring at our age, you know what I mean? It's boring at our age, Like what do we do? We don't go out, we don't party as much. Like it's not you know, I'm sure once in a while you're the old guy in the club, but like it's not ten years fifteen years ago, So like that's the action right now.
I am so fucking boring now and I'm good from about that window from seven pm to nine twenty. But it's right, it's fine. That's where he saw me the other Hey, you're hitting it.
And then I'll be like, but you didn't want I know you didn't want to go, like not meaning you don't want to do that beautiful event, but like you don't want to go. Then you get there, you had fun, you interacted, and then the minute you get there, you're waiting to go home. And now it's like you're going on the road. You'll probably dread it, but you'll have the best time.
It's like, we're just no.
I got like Fort Worth coming up, Houston, all these places, and I don't go there a lot. So the gig itself is fun. It's always about getting there. It is tough, and the time change and the ones this weekend, one place was thirty degrees and the other one was eighty, so you get off a plane or you're like, holy shit. It just all that stuff just you know, over time grinds you. But stuff like on the road of those guys is fun. I would do another growing ups with them ninety percent to just because I think he does a good job with those and it's it's so fun to see those guys. And when do we ever get together anymore? It's just so hard, so great. I love that, and I think Adam takes his time to make sure those are good family movies. In the background. I mean, we're keeping the lights on at TBS. I mean, notice it's on twenty four of us.
Yes, yes, but I see that in him too.
He was making a joke saying he's bored, you know, not no disrespect his life, his family. But we're all at a certain age where he like wants to go on tour because it's something some action, you know. I was talking to someone about that the other day, like, you're certainly not getting rich off of going on tour.
What is that your favorite thing? What's your favorite thing? Doing a movie? Doing stand up? Like, what's your favorite thing?
I do like stand up when I'm out there because it's so fucking hard still, I mean to do an hour. I was just doing it this weekend to get that connective tissue between jokes and to make it all make sense. And you say one word wrong, the joke doesn't work, and you're like it's just hard and you have to look over everything and it's still something that is I have to really try. I wrote something this morning, you know, and I'm like, I got to try to work that in. I'll sandwich it between two things that work in case it doesn't, because when you're on the road, they're paying a long and I owe them a good show and I owe them not to walk through it. So I have a casual sort of demeanor out there, but it doesn't mean it's all not spinning in my head because I have to go and that's hard. That's one of the hardest things to do, the tour. But it's fun. Movies are fine, but they're a grin and that's a five am to eight pm every day and there's no life m H speak of. And then but when they come out, it's really fun. Wrong Missy came out of so far because you see it all together and you're like, fuck, that's right, and that's really good when people get into it, and then I don't even know what else I do. The podcast with Data is always fun because.
Dana, Well, by the way I've heard, I mean, I've literally never even listened to I've never listened to a podcast. I'm going to listen to your podcast because I've heard it's amazing and that what.
If you like comedy and there's an SNL feel to Most people have been on SNL, or or have hosted or have written on it.
I need to tell you that I was. I've been mentioned on SNL a bunch of times, and you don't understand. It's like the crown.
It's it's my crowning glory.
You don't get So I well, no, I and I tell the story to anyone who will listen, and no one has really listened.
So it's going to be you in college, and I'm why you.
I got an internship through Gary considin SNL, but NYU wouldn't give me credit. And SNL said, we can't give you the internship unless you get credit, and I went and I didn't.
I just could.
I was in some loophole and so I never got to do it. Oh god, this is David Spade in a nutshell. Brin and I are backstage talking to David Spade from the wrong missy talking to David Spade.
Then he has to leave the conversation go on stage.
We don't have a spaceship, so you know, I don't work at NASA, So we go and walk briskly to get to our seats, like, oh take it, sorry, everybody, take a.
Seats like it was us.
We were just fucking talking to you. Yeah, from talking to you. Yeah, you went directly on the stage. Yeah, we were patrons. Okay, So that was my only big regret, like not doing that, just to be in that space.
Dam you got to see Farley in the Primal Premium.
Yeah, but I was a loser in the other room, like you guys were, I want, like you were talking to Lauren and you we guys laughing in that room, and I I just would would to your point before a back geting on the road. I never planned an event in my life. I just raised my hand. I was like, I'll plan the Tommy Boy from here, I'll plan the Black Sheep event. Like I just wanted to be in that space. So when Maya Rudolph during the pandemic as the Statue of Liberty and everyone's talking about what they've been through, and she's like, we've been through this. We've been through Bethany Frankel, like, you know, as if I'm a plate, which I am, as you know because you worked with me. And then last weekend some of the guy ordered a Bethany Frankel rose Like I die. That is my That's like the greatest thing that's ever happened in my life. I'm so big time this week.
That's pretty big because I think it's great that during Black Sheep you at sex with Farley Lauren's office. That's that's something.
I mean, it was right and then he passed away, so.
You know I I being mentioned and that's now it is hard to knocket mentioned in negative flight. That's the hard part. I laughed, get you me? Is it like? And this guy's David's baide Like, I'm like, let me get out of the fucking building. Jesus, Like, you can't make fun of me immediately. That's really off.
I'm big.
Here's my question with you. I know you don't only talk about the stuff you do, not the Golden Bachelor in general, but I have to say there's something too those shows where they they work everybody and get them drinking, and there is a reward for that. I have to say on that subject in general.
Oh, the Reality Reckoning. You took interest in that, which I found fascinating.
You mentioned it to me. It's nake oil.
I think it's I think it's so out there and obvious that people can't go, oh, that's not how it works, of it. No, it's exactly how it works. They're all it's all scripted, it's all whispers and ears, it's all no one's getting rewarded going into a meeting going I'm very level headed, and they're like, get the fuck out of you, Like, is that what you want on the Bachelor? Is that what you want on any show? They're not the badche no, no, no, no, no no.
But there's always going to be a line. There's going to be a line, and it's been grossly crossed, and you're about to find out real soon because there are nuances that you don't think about, that you don't know about, that are insane, Like there are individual women who their lives have been ruined, who are like in deep deep therapy, like they're way, it's bad.
So I think there's a line. There's a line, and it's been crossed.
You don't remember this, but you were on a show called Housewives of Being Town or something in New York. I knew. And what happens is I'm sure at some point they're like you seem like a nice person. Is there any way you could break this bottle over your friend's head? I mean, just it might keep you on the show another few seasons. I mean, and I'm not saying that. I'm just saying we like fun, we like people that are exciting, and you're a little you're flatlining lately. I'm sure they'd say that to so many people because what does pay off, that's all.
And what does happen is.
Producers get excited about promote and wait for someone to fall off the wagon and really set the person up for failure. Like it's a good it's the upside down. So in this space, it's a good thing. If somebody falls off the wagon, that's fucked.
Up, right. I mean, listen, we all watch Jersey Shore. I want to see snooky hungover crawling out of a dryer in the morning and with a bounce sheet in her hair, wasted, and then she goes and gives someone an h J. Fine. Now when it comes back and they say, hey, Judy show's back, they're all married and have their shit together, I'm like, why is it? Oh?
Yeah no, And I get it.
And I'm for the line too. Listen you I saw your act. You're totally all very inappropriate.
I loved it.
My daughter is now going to college. You saved me four years in private school after that show. But and I'm I'm completely inappropriate too, But I I and I ride the line. But I think crossing the line and intentionally choosing the really weak people that will let you exploit them. It's very cult like the weakest person you can get to do anything because they'll do it. And that's where I think there's a line. And also to not be compensated for the exploitation, like to add insult to injury. Years later you're seeing stuff that you're not even being compensated for. So I just I there's something nice.
Like a cte ish equivalent of being on these shows. And later you're like, you've ruined friendships, you've lost job opportunities to you know, people see the dirty backstory of your life. When you're like, that really isn't I mean, I was trying to do better than that. Like I agree. I'm not saying I don't agree because listen, it all looks like funning end, it's all entertainment with popcorn. Oh look she's wasted. Oh look she beat up her friend and throw on the pool. But that stuff that happens in real life that sticks with you for years and years, and it's beyond that. There's drug use, there's sex, there's they want people to have. Of course they want. That's the greatest thing in the world when that happens on the show.
The crux of the argument is is it a work That's why it's a hybrid gray area.
Is it a workplace?
So I mean, listen, being at SNL is obviously not a normal workplace environment. And you've seen it all and I'm sure it's evolved and changed, but that is a workplace, you know, even though there's a lot of crazy stuff going on late night, et cetera. This is a workplace, but it's never been treated as such. So the line has gotten totally cross because you don't have to abide by any workplace concerns.
This old comedian Rich Scheiner, when I was starting out, he was at the Dallas Improv. The club owner says, why don't you stop buying you a set tonight? I think it's just for fun? He us, Now that's work. He goes, do I have to be anywhere? Do have to do anything that's work? So I think what you're saying is those shows, of course, they're like you have a seven am call, we're doing a brunch, hair and makeup, you go, you have to be there at least three hours. You're gonna eat, you're gonna do this, You're gonna interact, and we're gonna do some one on one. So that's work SNL. Right, say, Jimmy Fallon was toxic workplace, and I don't know any of the story. I know Jimmy from the way I know him, which I love him, but to anything, I don't know. If we're getting too far with they said he was giving people dirty looks and stuff. I'm like, do you know what toxic me? I mean, it's thrown around too much like you think.
Oh, I oh, I agree.
I've been on those shows and I all I said was every single time I've been on that show, he's been so gracious come in and I have allowed for being that I'm a guest and I know they're not going to treat me like shit. But I've been on all the shows and that one's great, and he does not deserve to be canceled.
I said that, Yeah, I think when I was on SNL, I mean not beyond toxic. But you know that's every job I had in my life. Do you think when I'm there, Lauren puts me on his knee and bounces me and says, how was this week? You do it good? Yeah? No, he did? Right? You know what I mean? I do? I got mine. These guys got this. Mike Myers is right, rains well, everyone's doing their shit. No one's like, I haven't asked about how you are. I'm like, I'm shitty.
No, oh my god, yes, yeah, I'm spiel.
I just want to make sure you have a good, safe and healthy work life balance and that you're I want doing a check in, an emotional well being check in.
Right, They're like good, quit like one less like we don't. Oh.
I came up working for Jerry Bruckheimer like it was called yeah, yeah, you know what that was like?
Yeah, I was in I was a bus boy, was dishwasher. No one is calling me I could go. This place is so toxic. I'm like, what do you mean? It just means I don't like working, right. I know my boss has been an asshole from the day I started working. In my life, every job, you always hate your boss. It's just the way it is. And to be allowed to go, I don't like it, and I don't feel safe and I don't feel loved here, like I don't know what's happening. So it's getting a little too far. Maybe there's some things, but it waters it all down because we're toxic. Now means nothing.
Then, Oh, by the way, and I'm on your side. I'm on the Jeffrey Katzenberg. If you don't come to work on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday or whatever that line was, he said, I'm with you. I I don't complain. There's no like, there's no lunch break when I came up. So even with that, that's why what I'm saying, you know, with the reckoning, it's I'm accounting for all that. I'm not like this person that is like, gone too far.
Loll listen. I've been on both sides of business. I've been a producer in this, so I see it all. I see from both angles. But there is something to what you're saying. Of course, I think that needs to be looked at. So the fact that you're making it aware if anything happens big from a big changes small, I think there is something there that they need to look at. It. It's real.
Do you date civilians or do you date people in the industry?
And do you date I usually date what I would look for is civilian or up to Taylor Swift. I guess that's that's the market the highest.
Oh yeah, so like my age range used to be nineteen to nineties, you've got a big.
Most famous is Tailor Swift in the world.
Right, Yeah, I'm saying it's a large range. I got it. I got it three stead of Taylor Swift.
More tricky. There's more layers of problems, and the more people know about what you're doing in your life and data and all that, it seems to exponentially add two problems in the relationship because everyone has an opinion. Everyone is this So I sort of like people that keep things down. So yes, I would date civilians and all that stuff. But I remember why is Chris Rock once gave his friend advice when I was at the table or he said I want to date. I think he said I would love about Rihanna. He goes, why don't you date a hostess that looks like Rihanna?
That's brilliant, that's brilliant.
Yeah, you don't strike me as someone who's looking for a tremendous amount of drama, And I like that you. By the way, no one's signed up for having to share everything about their relationship. It's such a terrible situation. It really there's no upside. I'm looking at this Travis Taylor thing that you cannot win in a situation where there are two peacocks in a relationship and you're in a snow globe that everyone's looking at.
That was Kelsey de tailorship is going to move to the top of his resume. So now for the next ten years minimum, even if they break up tomorrow, what's Taylor Swift? Like, how's Taylor Swift? He's like, I'm a huge football player, Like I know, but you went out and suddenly it diminishes a little bit of what he's done because it's too much over that and that's what people love. So he's a fucking stud. I mean, I have really no problem with that, other than it's a little obvious for me, Like why are you driving a convertible when you take her?
I'm like what I thought, so too. It's like the Queen's moves. This is like, you're literally cheap. She moves like the Queen. Everyone sees every eye lift. This is all intentional, not saying it's marketing, but they're both getting something from it publicly, Otherwise they wouldn't be so public about it.
A little itchy, but you know most people I know, you'd hear later they dated, or you're like, oh, you know they're not. You're like, oh, but it's hard to squish down because when people can see you, but you know, you could see when she went out with that other guy, Joe somebody. They didn't hear about it. For two years, you didn't hear people.
You're right, even at Taylor Swift's level, you can date quietly. It's not easy, but fa people that date can hide it, and famous people that are out with it want to be out with it. So I like your secret style. All Right, you go, Heather, thanks for laughing at David's jokes and text me have a great day. Thanks for doing this, David,
