Now some of you may not know this, but I'm definitely alurged to fish. And a couple of years ago, Paul saved my life when I drank me so soup. I just had an itchy hand and like I was having trouble breathing, but not like crazy nine one one. I just was in child's posting, I'm just in a minute, I'm having trouble breathing. He went to go get me bena drill and there was a lot of fish in this Mi so soup, be needle flakes that were like sort of concentrated into this sort of fish heroine, and he went and got me a benage. By the time he came back, I was unconscious for fifteen minutes. Long story short, I ended up in the hospital for days, EpiPens on adrenaline, almost died. My blood pressure was six d over forty and I went in to add a lactic shock and it was really very, very serious. And what's counterintuitive is that with allergies, the more you're exposed to the allergen with food allergies, the worst it is. Meaning it's not like being exposed to germs makes you more immune to germs. It means that the more you're exposed to the allergy, and the worst it is. I think it's just like more in your system or I don't know the reason, but I know that that's the case. So now it gives you anxiety that as you've had serious reactions, you're terrified to have another reaction because you've heard that more exposure to the allergy makes it worse, okay, because it seems like, oh, the more I'm exposed, my body will get used to it. That's sort of what I always thought as a kid growing up, and it's not the case. And I've had every different type of reaction to fish. Sometimes my face is blown up to twice the size. It looked like someone beat me up. I've had my lips only just get gigantic. I've had bumps in my mouth, hives on my body. It's always different. Food allergy is really weird. It just has differ applications each time in different symptoms. So brand and I go to dinner in Costa Rica and we go to this really nice restaurant Costa and Costa Rica is very vegetable forward. There's so many fresh vegetables that at this particular hotel, they have a vegan menu section, So I order a vegetable role, like a sushi vegetable role on the vegan section, and then I order what's called a summer roll, and it's described as just a bunch of different vegetables, and so I assume that that's that sort of rice paper wrapped role that we see in the US that's called a summer roll, or it could sometimes be like a spring roll where it's fried brand. My daughter says to the waiter when he comes over, we have my mom's deathly allergic to fish. Server comes over after we've ordered and confirms what we've ordered. Any points to the vegetable role, and I say, it's the summer vegetable role and the ingredients they're there, so we confirm, and it's under the vegan menu, so that like a triple confirmation. So I eat my first vegetable sushi roll and then they bring me another sushi shaped roll and it has cash you nuts and some greens. So there are often different types of vegetarian roles, so I assume this is their version of the summer roll. So I eat what I remember to be like three pieces of it, and then I see it sideways sort of open, you know, and you see like there's the right side, and then you see this sort of flat, open side, but you can see all the ingredients. And I see something white there that I think might be like hearts of palm or some other vegetable because they have so many different types of vegetable there vegetables there, and it just looks like scallop like, and I say, excuse me, what is this? And the woman's like looks at me, and I'm like, is this fish? And she looks stunned, like a stunned deer, and I'm like, is this fish? And so I said, what is in this? Like I guess I didn't even realize my body like screaming like in a restaurant, like what is that ass? And so she's like, well, there's vegetable, Like I think, I know she's scared to tell me because she senses something's wrong. So she's like, well, there are vegetable. I'm like, what is in this rold? Is this fish? So she says, yes, there's fish. I later the next day found out from the chef that it was sea bass, which I never tried. Incidentally, was delicious. This was like the best roll ever if you ever go to the ant does get the Bethany fish allergy sea bass roll so fucking good. But I'm like, is it so all of a sudden brings like crying you she's having panics. She wasn't with us the other time, but she knows Mama almost died. I'm trying to remain calm because I don't want to freak her out. I don't yet feel anything, but I know I've just eaten like not just like I've sometimes eaten spinach. That's it, like next to a someone's fish dish without realizing and and and gone crazy itchy. So now I've eaten multiple pieces of this at least three pieces of this fish. So I'm trying to remain calm. And I now have the information I have, and I now still have the manager Sergios information, so I text him immediately brands like I'm calling Paul. She calls Paul, my fiance. He wants to just keep us on the phone, make sure that I'm okay, and um, I now texta this guy's Sergio to say, I have we have a nine one one. I need a doctor in the room right now. Okay, But to be fair, I should have known ahead of time what the doctor's situation was, that there is a doctor on site, that there's a hyatt. This is an on DAWs that it's not like get a doctor from near by. I don't know what I'm walking into now. I don't know what level of a food allergy incident I'm about to walk into. I can't remember how long after the miso soup the incident was last time, and I almost died, but it wasn't immediately. Takes a minute for it sort of to get into your system. Maybe not for like a peanut allergy person or sesamel, but for me, it takes a minute. And you're also your adrenaline is pumping. You don't know what's actually going on with your body. And when I had the incident uh in Boston with the miso soup, I just had an itchy hand and I couldn't breathe. But it wasn't like mass hysteria immediately from what I remember. So now we're walking back to the room. The guy says, great, I'll have a doctor there, and um, we get back to the room and I'm just with brand the manager where the doctor hasn't shown up at the room and I show, you know, bring the EpiPen, and she's understandable, hysterical, you know, because she's like, I don't I need an adult. I don't think I could do this. So I've called the front desk, like someone needs from the hotel, needs to get to my room now. So now I start to feel the itchiness in my throat and everywhere. And this is where you know you need to have benegul liquid benetle with you if you have an incident, and even if somebody else might have an incident. So long story longer, the doctor and the manager come to the room. She gives me a shot in the ass of two different medicines that are antihistamines, and gives me ben and drill knocks me out, dehydrates me for two days. This is because I'm not in a full blown attack. And you don't want to take an EpiPen if you're not having a real attack, because it's serious amounts of adrenaline and you so you're trying to balance whether to jam the EpiPen because you've just eaten it, or whether a jam the epipe because you're having an incident. So the point I want to make with this long story is, even if you're not allergic to a food, you could step on a scorpion. You could you could get bitten by a poisonous spider. I know somebody who stepped on a stone fish which is poisonous and had to be rushed to the hospital. Before you travel, particularly to another country, you need to have a medical plan. When I was pregnant seven and a half months, I went to St. Barts and in order to do so, my doctor and I required a medical plan to go shoot my show like you and this was like helicopters standing by in case something went on because you had to go to a hospital. I mean, I literally know of a that girl, a girl who lost her leg in St. Barts and she was laying on the beach January one with no one helping her, with a dermatologist trying to keep her leg together. I mean, ship goes down. This is because her leg got caught in like the motor of a boat. But shit goes down. When you're booking booking activities, make sure that they're attached to a major company with real liability limit, with real liability insurance, and a real major company attached. When you're going to stay at a hotel, get a point contact person that you can text in a minute who speaks the language, can get medical care there right away. Also know what the medical care program is at that hotel. Is there a doctor on site? In this case, there was a doctor on site. I don't know if that was because it was a holiday weekend. I don't know if it's because there's always a doctor on site. These are things that we need to know. And this particular doctor told me that for some weird reason, she's always the one to deal with food allergies, like it just happened to be lucky. But what if it was dealing with something that wasn't a food allergy, there was like a poisonous bug bite. We need to be neurotic. You need to be that neurotic mom ahead of time and annoy everybody, And don't go there unless you have a specific plan with a specific contact that you've proven that you could get in touch with, and a moment's notice at two o'clock in the morning, that you understand who the doctor's name is. All this ship it could have gone so sideways that it could literally be the difference between life and death. So that's just I couldn't wait to get back and rant on this because it's so fucking important. Hi. Uh, this is an exciting show because it is our one hundred episode and I am celebrating with you and listener questions. So at Jada one to three one, j e d a one to three one mom guilt. I can financially afford to leave the workforce but enjoy my work and the adult interaction. I know I am displaying a great work ethic for my kids, but how can I feel less guilty or get more flexibility to really get quality time with them? Thank you? That's an interesting question. I can financially afford to leave the workforce but enjoy. So this is someone who's feeling a little bit guilty because they know that they don't have to work, but they choose to work. But that can absolutely be part of your identity as a woman. And you can be a great parent and uh a great entrepreneur or mobile or co real person while having kids. And I think you have to have a balance and a structure in your life where you don't apologize for working, but you're careful to not blend the two lives. It's interesting because I have a book called Business is Personal. But when I'm with my daughter, I try to be present with my daughter. And when I'm working, I try to really just work, and the twain don't really meet. My daughter goes to school and that's when the action starts. So I think it's important not to feel guilty and um. The flexibility is about the balancing our time we were on the phone, the online shopping, the time sucks, the staying up too late, the wasting time, the gossiping, the nonsense. We waste a lot of time doing things that we don't need to. So if you're really efficient with your time, you can absolutely have a well rounded career and be a parent and thrive at both end. Set a great example for your kids. Anonymous tell us about Paul. How did you guys meet? Was it love at first sight? When did you know you wanted to marry it? Paul? I met uh on a dating app and we went out. He makes a joke. I wish he was here to tell it, and he will one day. He makes a joke that Uh he asked me, oh, I know what it was. We met on a dating app and we were messaging, and he lived in Boston. But I think he sort of led on that he lived in New York because he had produced a movie in New York, so he made it like he was in New York all the time, because that might have taken him out of the running. Definitely would have taken him out of running if I thought he did not live in New York. So then I just happened to be in Boston in a women's conference when we were texting, and I said, because he's an online dating guy, so I thought maybe he was dating a lot of different people. And I said this would be a great place to me women, because I think I was speaking in front of thousands of women. And he texted back and he said, yeah, I'm more of a one woman kind of guy, which was like a little bit of a snap, and I was like, Oh, I thought he must like me or something. So then he asked me to get together. I thought it was on a weekend, um, for a drink, or he'd like to take me out for a drink. I was in the depths of hell in my divorce, and without getting too into detail about that, because that's for a different question, Um, there was zero flexibility in my time, and I was really just on fumes, and I was either really working hard or really being present with my daughter, and there was never a switch, and it was just it was just a hard time. So I really was only ever meeting people if I didn't have my daughter. And I gave him a time slot of two to four on a Monday afternoon, which is literally like the worst time slot in history. And I didn't even realize it. It It was just when I had time. It was probably after a work lunch or before something I was shooting, and he took it and we went out and we um and now knowing him, he doesn't really drink, and I think I ordered a bloody Mary during the day or something, and he ordered a vodka. And I laugh all the time and I'm like, oh, you got a vodka in the afternoon, like he would never get a vodka. And we had a really nice time and he was very cute and handsome and boyish, charm and sheepish as he is, and um, that's my type and I really liked him, and um then we dated for a short time. We had a couple of times he gave me sting gorgeous flowers after our first night date, in which we went to multiple places, and again he's not a big party or neither of mine, and the two of us trying to be hot steppers on a first date, like going bar to bar and restaurant drinking like so not our personality, and it just went a little too fat like not, I don't mean fast, like intimately, just the nights went fast and the flowers and then I think I just thought the game was moving too quickly and I just sort of just kind of put it on pause, let's say. And nine months later we reconnected and I said something. He texted me, and I said something about we live in separate cities and you know, would this be worth it or something? And he said, um, my intentions are clear. I could easily get a place in New York, like he came in to play second time around, so um, and I fell I fell in love with him. He's a pretty incredible person. I do not deserve him main fashion e stuff. What is your advice to your twenty five year old self? Oh my god, I would never take it. How am I going to tell? I would say, don't stress, sleep more, worry less. You know. I just you are a person who has a drive and you're just always trying to figure it out, and I was hungry and I was poor, and I was just going I would not have taken any of it if that question happens a lot. But the truth is, I just don't think I would have taken any of Someone says, what would you give to your old stuff? If you would take it, would have been to like be a more relaxed person. Don't think you have to have your whole life resolved in one Well maybe that's it. That's actually true, that a successful relationship does not define you and doesn't need to be resolved in your twenties, your thirties, or even your forties. Like that is not I hear my assistance in their twenties thinking like oh if I don't have a boyfriend or I'm not this, and I think, oh my god, you this we wasted on the young that you really relationships just absolutely are not any real indication at those ages. In my opinion, at that age love L O V underscore L E A H A. What do you think is the biggest misconception about being on Real Housewives That the people are friends and people may seem like friends, and people may become friends, but that usually lasts for the duration of success or the show, with some exceptions. Um that the conflict is all real, and I mean it is real in the moment. It's something that's bothering you, but it's not something that you would ever care about in any other sphere because you wouldn't be placed with these particular people in any other sphere. So it's very strategically cast that you're supposed to be around other people, not unlike Survivor or The Apprentice, people are carefully chosen and put together and folded into a recipe. So you're selected and paired with different people that make a good combination for conflict. Nobody's making these shows, so we all get along and become best friends. So the conflict is not real because the original relationship is not based on reality, and you're fighting about things you do not give a shit about and would never discuss in your other life. You would never speak to these people again. But you're forced to be with these people. So therefore the conflict lives on your disbelief that you're spending time with these people sometimes is shocking, and then you don't want to, and then you have to, and then so you argue about the thing you argued about last year, but but exponentially, so that's sort of that whole recipe. Anonymous is cheating a deal breaker. I haven't been cheated on very much. I think I can only remember one time in my life one other maybe time that I suspected it, but it wasn't that serious of a relationship. I was very young too, um. And I've one time where I was blindsided. Uh, And I did forgive him, and I don't know why. I think it was because he had experienced death and his family right before that, so it seemed like some sort of excuse, which makes no sense to go cheat with someone that he had had a history with. Some maybe that person seemed attractive, but I'm not black and white about that. And the reason is because I see people who go through issues in their lives. I see people who go through emotional pain, who have their own personal insecurities and issues. Um. I see people who abandon each other in times of need, meaning people if both people are going through something and no one can water the other person when they're on fire, things could happen. I mean, that's why you have to nurture your relationship and say checked in and try even when the ship hits the fans to get back on track. But the only reason I don't say it would be a deal breakup for everybody is that, you know, the game starts to move quickly, and as I see, people really start to uh not take care of each other and lose focus. I have friends whose spouses go out too much. Maybe the one partner doesn't want to have sex as much to the other. Maybe one person likes to have fun and the other one's to homebody that seemed fun in the beginning, or they both like to go out in the beginning and someone becomes who they really are later. I mean, a lot of things happen um someone's not getting their emotional needs met, and a stranger seems like they're gonna give you all this attention. There are ten thousand reasons that I'm not an expert on, but I don't know that I could really ever get over it because of a trail is h would be It would be very hard to let go of the anger. But I don't want to tell people to not forgive if you're in one of those categories at L Manning Peasy, what is the best parenting advice you're ned to give to another mom of an eleven year old girl who's an only child. My daughter loves being an only child. She gets me all to herself. It is such a special relationship and you get to run and gun and do things in a way that people have more than one child can't. You're thinking about two people's opinions. Does this person want to do it? Does that person want to do it? Hotel rooms can become challenging things. I mean, I share a hotel room with my daughter, and it gets more expensive when it's more kids. Um. And so the parenting advice I have is to really value experiences way more than stuff. The experiences, the memories. My daughter loves knowing we're going to l a, We're gonna go to that cake decorating place because we've gotten some gone so many times. Oh, Gingerbread University a place over Christmas where we we just make gingerbread houses and it's like baby ish, but we love it. Going to Rockefeller Center every year. Experiences, pumpkin picking experiences are just so meaningful. Those are the things you really remember. You know, a pair of sneakers or an iPad is not something your child is going to remember. But these experiences and these memories are the things that really keep me going. And we just we love it. Baking together, cooking together, you know, going to the Hibachi restaurant, like just rituals. Kids love rituals and girls that age love rituals. But yeah, I love having an all the child. Honestly, it's been the greatest joy of my life, bar none. Nothing can come close. It's my She's my life. And what you put into your kids you get out of them. So it's been extraordinary at burned ran b r N D E r o N. How can this crisis and the importance be explained to Americans who are not of Ukrainian or Eastern European descent. Not enough people are up in arms about this conflict. As Polish American, I know how bad this can be, and I'm so grateful for the actions you've taken to assist the refugee situation. I just wish more individuals in US would take a greater stand. Listen, it's like anything else. Certain charities. A cancer charity is important to one person, a cleft palate charity is important to another person, and UH and autism charity is important to another person. It doesn't mean all of these issues are not equally important. They're equally important. Different people are passionate about different things, and it's hard to make other people get passionate and awareness and education is important. Uh. Media obviously controls the message. I mean, I told my daughter that there was you live in this house and someone wants to come in and take your house. Is effectively how I told her that you live in this house and someone wants to come and take your house and move you out of it. And are you staying and fighting for it or are you just going because you're scared? And it's a big thing, and the resistance has been huge, and it's such an inspirational like David Goliath story for kids about just like the pride. I mean, none of us knew the pride of Ukrainians, the love and the open arms of of of Poland. To to have this refugee crisis going coming straight into their country, I mean, it affects all of Europe. It's been crazy. But to answer the question, I'm annoyed too. The Milan Fashion Week was at the same time, the Food and Wine Festival was at the same time. You know now and then the SAG Awards and you're watching people really just obsessed with what they're wearing and how they look. And you know, when you get really passionate about something, it frustrates you that other people aren't talking about it and that they're talking about their eyelashes, and it gets a little bit you know, you have to balance that because you want to just say, shut up, who cares. It's something going on in the world, you really do, but you've got to just play, you know, spread the word on your own and their strength and numbers, and you know, it's been amazing to have the capability and the passion and the skill set to do relief work. It affects so many people. And to my point about all those charities earlier and all those issues, it affects everyone. The one thing about crisis relief is it affects everyone. It affects the blind, the death, the black, the white, the young, the old. I mean, it affects everything. So it's one of the great reasons, uh that if you want to get involved and donate to be Strong Bethany dot com slash be Strong, b t h e n n y dot com slash be Strong, you get to help everyone. I mean, our newest request is for UH protective gear because civilians feel like they're personally, you know, in a war fighting a war, so they want protective gear every day. The needs change. It was went from US helping refugees relocate to now going back into the Ukraine does a dangerous proposition, going back in with aid and military when you're dealing with Russians who obviously want the Ukrainians to be weak. It's a whole crazy thing. I feel like, I I'm so not political, but I learned so much about politics through leaf work. You have no idea. I learned about the craziest stuff you never ever think of. Van Cleave's v A n K L e f s. How did you learn to become a great parent and you had no role model? I think role models come in many different forms. You can view what people have done and do the opposite. You can create your own recipe of some of the things that other people have done and at it to what you've either read about, heard about, seeing from friends, watched on TV, etcetera. But I think it's important to break the chain. If you're aware that you can break the chain and do it differently, as a parent than the way that you were parent did with whatever limited resources your parents might have had or financially or age wise, or education or emotional intelligence, then it could be a winning formula. I mean sometimes mentors come in in in forms of people that are doing the opposite of what you would do, because you just want to do what they're not doing in business and in your personal life. At cater DD two, if you could do one thing differently in your career, what would it be? I don't know. I do my career the way that I love to. I literally don't do things I don't want to do. I don't do things I'm not passionate about. I I actually have given up millions and millions of dollars on this journey and just not doing what I don't feel good about, what doesn't give me the right emotional or so a full return on my investment. Uh So, I don't believe in regret. I would not do anything differently. Honestly, who were my real friends on Real House? I was real friends with Jill Zarin and Dorinda Um. I really like Sonya. I have a soft place in my heart for Sonya. Um. Kyle and I came up together when we were young. I met Kyle when Pharaoh her daughter was four, and I think she had fair at eighteen or nineteen. So I had to meet Kyle when we were like twenty two years old. I was at her wedding, so I've known her for years. Um. And I'm friendly with Lisa Rinna. I talked to Lisa vander Pumps sometimes. I message with Teresa, who are really like and you really like Niny. I think she's iconic and hilarious. Um. Oh. I was really friend to Carol too, and I got support. I got interesting messages from certain house. So I was very passionate about the relief work. Uh. The Loris Catania, I don't even know her. Who would expect her to be interested in what be Strong is doing and passionately interested? She really gets involved. And then Margaret is on Jersey also, she she sends nice messages. I'm always surprised. And there's another all the Jersey girls interesting. Uh, the girl who took everybody to her West Hampton house. Why am I having Jackie gold Schneider. She reaches out too. It's fascinating actually, now that I think about it. Um, the people who are interested in really for that that reach out and ask if they can help. Memes about Bravo one which friendship breakdown is hardest for me, Jill or Carol? It depends on where you were. Where was in my life. I was going through a challenging divorce and the friendship breakdown with Carol was definitely challenging. UM. I think Carol and I were equally, if not almost equally. If I don't know, you know I, I don't know that. I don't have to answer that question. I actually don't. UM. Friendships that are made on television, on reality television are not that easy. UM. There are a lot of other elements involved. Competition, fame, attention, success, money. Everybody in that franchise is comparing to everybody else. They can say they're not. They can hashtag women supporting women, We could do anything we want to do. I've been there, and they will all anonymously tell you the same thing that that's that's if you're doing better than other people. They're having a problem with it in one way or another. It may be wrapped in frosting, but in one way or another. At Laura Kids Health, what are my top three traitors? Joe's products? Wow. Well, I like to say I knew Trader Joe's before it was famous. Okay, I knew Trader Joe's decades ago from l A when you'd go there to buy your cheese and your inexpensive wine. So Trader Joe's is extremely famous now, almost as famous as kale Um. So my top three. They had a really good, like a good healthier spinach artichoke dip, which I appreciated. It was in one of those plastic containers. Uh. They have a good marinated cooked balsamic chicken. If you eat chicken, Um, it's just a scot It's in a salty sort of zesty sauce. That's nice. Um. Their cauliflower pizza crusted, I think is better than most. And I think they have a nice feaking pesto. And they have a nice soy cheese like shredded cheese. It's not if you're into non dairy cheese. Anonymous, What should I do if I think one of my managers is mad at me. She's being passive aggressive, and I'm not sure how to handle it. This is a good one. It depends on the personality type. Employers can be like bullies and sometimes they prey on weakness, and if you seem like you care and you seem like you're not strong, they might keep going. If you really don't have a reason that someone would be upset with you, I would plow straight through. I would plow straight through and lead by example and do good work. Uh and ignore ignore I don't. It's like you can't be desperate. But if it's just something that could risk a job and you might have done something wrong, then approached the situation. But approach it head on. Don't you be passive aggressive? Also, don't be wishy washy people like strong people who can just cut to the chase. Have a meeting anonymous. You've been outspoken about keeping your circle small. How do you balance maintaining friendships and building a career. I have no friends that aren't real to the core, could trust them with anything. Friends, So I'm really black and white. That's it. Like I'm I don't have a lot of middle of the road friends, so I can really trust my friends. And if you have really good friends, they're happy that you're building a career. There's zero animosity, zero jealousy, zero competition. They're very successful in their own right. In different industries and that's how I roll. John Hardesty, H A. R. D. S. T. Y Lord Pittle, Puck Do. I have plans to ever run for Congress or party, but I run for I am not political at all. As I said earlier, I learned a lot about political situations going on because of the disaster relief, and I am always involved in politics in the sense that we may need people in politics to help us in order to get our aid to the right people. So you have to play the game in that way, which is its own dance. Um. But I'm not for politics. I'm not for campaigning. I'm not for being fake. I'm not for uh red tape, I'm not for kissing people's ass. I'm not for any of that stuff. Thank you so much for these amazing questions. I love this. I hope you guys like it too. It seems to go very well last time. And I love your curiosity and it just makes me think of so many other different things. So we've got on these different tangents. So I really appreciate your natural curiosity and love to talk to you about what you're going through. So thank you so much. Remember to rate, review and subscribe and have the Best Day Ever. Just Be is hosted by me, Bethany Franklin. Just Be as a production of the real productions I Heart Radio and Blue Duck Media. Are EPs are Morgen Levois, Antonio Andriquez, and Kara Hit. To catch more moments from the show, follow us on Instagram and just Be with Bethany

Now some of you may not know this, but I'm definitely alurged to fish. And a couple of years ago, Paul saved my life when I drank me so soup. I just had an itchy hand and like I was having trouble breathing, but not like crazy nine one one. I just was in child's posting, I'm just in a minute, I'm having trouble breathing. He went to go get me bena drill and there was a lot of fish in this Mi so soup, be needle flakes that were like sort of concentrated into this sort of fish heroine, and he went and got me a benage. By the time he came back, I was unconscious for fifteen minutes. Long story short, I ended up in the hospital for days, EpiPens on adrenaline, almost died. My blood pressure was six d over forty and I went in to add a lactic shock and it was really very, very serious. And what's counterintuitive is that with allergies, the more you're exposed to the allergen with food allergies, the worst it is. Meaning it's not like being exposed to germs makes you more immune to germs. It means that the more you're exposed to the allergy, and the worst it is. I think it's just like more in your system or I don't know the reason, but I know that that's the case. So now it gives you anxiety that as you've had serious reactions, you're terrified to have another reaction because you've heard that more exposure to the allergy makes it worse, okay, because it seems like, oh, the more I'm exposed, my body will get used to it. That's sort of what I always thought as a kid growing up, and it's not the case. And I've had every different type of reaction to fish. Sometimes my face is blown up to twice the size. It looked like someone beat me up. I've had my lips only just get gigantic. I've had bumps in my mouth, hives on my body. It's always different. Food allergy is really weird. It just has differ applications each time in different symptoms. So brand and I go to dinner in Costa Rica and we go to this really nice restaurant Costa and Costa Rica is very vegetable forward. There's so many fresh vegetables that at this particular hotel, they have a vegan menu section, So I order a vegetable role, like a sushi vegetable role on the vegan section, and then I order what's called a summer roll, and it's described as just a bunch of different vegetables, and so I assume that that's that sort of rice paper wrapped role that we see in the US that's called a summer roll, or it could sometimes be like a spring roll where it's fried brand. My daughter says to the waiter when he comes over, we have my mom's deathly allergic to fish. Server comes over after we've ordered and confirms what we've ordered. Any points to the vegetable role, and I say, it's the summer vegetable role and the ingredients they're there, so we confirm, and it's under the vegan menu, so that like a triple confirmation. So I eat my first vegetable sushi roll and then they bring me another sushi shaped roll and it has cash you nuts and some greens. So there are often different types of vegetarian roles, so I assume this is their version of the summer roll. So I eat what I remember to be like three pieces of it, and then I see it sideways sort of open, you know, and you see like there's the right side, and then you see this sort of flat, open side, but you can see all the ingredients. And I see something white there that I think might be like hearts of palm or some other vegetable because they have so many different types of vegetable there vegetables there, and it just looks like scallop like, and I say, excuse me, what is this? And the woman's like looks at me, and I'm like, is this fish? And she looks stunned, like a stunned deer, and I'm like, is this fish? And so I said, what is in this? Like I guess I didn't even realize my body like screaming like in a restaurant, like what is that ass? And so she's like, well, there's vegetable, Like I think, I know she's scared to tell me because she senses something's wrong. So she's like, well, there are vegetable. I'm like, what is in this rold? Is this fish? So she says, yes, there's fish. I later the next day found out from the chef that it was sea bass, which I never tried. Incidentally, was delicious. This was like the best roll ever if you ever go to the ant does get the Bethany fish allergy sea bass roll so fucking good. But I'm like, is it so all of a sudden brings like crying you she's having panics. She wasn't with us the other time, but she knows Mama almost died. I'm trying to remain calm because I don't want to freak her out. I don't yet feel anything, but I know I've just eaten like not just like I've sometimes eaten spinach. That's it, like next to a someone's fish dish without realizing and and and gone crazy itchy. So now I've eaten multiple pieces of this at least three pieces of this fish. So I'm trying to remain calm. And I now have the information I have, and I now still have the manager Sergios information, so I text him immediately brands like I'm calling Paul. She calls Paul, my fiance. He wants to just keep us on the phone, make sure that I'm okay, and um, I now texta this guy's Sergio to say, I have we have a nine one one. I need a doctor in the room right now. Okay, But to be fair, I should have known ahead of time what the doctor's situation was, that there is a doctor on site, that there's a hyatt. This is an on DAWs that it's not like get a doctor from near by. I don't know what I'm walking into now. I don't know what level of a food allergy incident I'm about to walk into. I can't remember how long after the miso soup the incident was last time, and I almost died, but it wasn't immediately. Takes a minute for it sort of to get into your system. Maybe not for like a peanut allergy person or sesamel, but for me, it takes a minute. And you're also your adrenaline is pumping. You don't know what's actually going on with your body. And when I had the incident uh in Boston with the miso soup, I just had an itchy hand and I couldn't breathe. But it wasn't like mass hysteria immediately from what I remember. So now we're walking back to the room. The guy says, great, I'll have a doctor there, and um, we get back to the room and I'm just with brand the manager where the doctor hasn't shown up at the room and I show, you know, bring the EpiPen, and she's understandable, hysterical, you know, because she's like, I don't I need an adult. I don't think I could do this. So I've called the front desk, like someone needs from the hotel, needs to get to my room now. So now I start to feel the itchiness in my throat and everywhere. And this is where you know you need to have benegul liquid benetle with you if you have an incident, and even if somebody else might have an incident. So long story longer, the doctor and the manager come to the room. She gives me a shot in the ass of two different medicines that are antihistamines, and gives me ben and drill knocks me out, dehydrates me for two days. This is because I'm not in a full blown attack. And you don't want to take an EpiPen if you're not having a real attack, because it's serious amounts of adrenaline and you so you're trying to balance whether to jam the EpiPen because you've just eaten it, or whether a jam the epipe because you're having an incident. So the point I want to make with this long story is, even if you're not allergic to a food, you could step on a scorpion. You could you could get bitten by a poisonous spider. I know somebody who stepped on a stone fish which is poisonous and had to be rushed to the hospital. Before you travel, particularly to another country, you need to have a medical plan. When I was pregnant seven and a half months, I went to St. Barts and in order to do so, my doctor and I required a medical plan to go shoot my show like you and this was like helicopters standing by in case something went on because you had to go to a hospital. I mean, I literally know of a that girl, a girl who lost her leg in St. Barts and she was laying on the beach January one with no one helping her, with a dermatologist trying to keep her leg together. I mean, ship goes down. This is because her leg got caught in like the motor of a boat. But shit goes down. When you're booking booking activities, make sure that they're attached to a major company with real liability limit, with real liability insurance, and a real major company attached. When you're going to stay at a hotel, get a point contact person that you can text in a minute who speaks the language, can get medical care there right away. Also know what the medical care program is at that hotel. Is there a doctor on site? In this case, there was a doctor on site. I don't know if that was because it was a holiday weekend. I don't know if it's because there's always a doctor on site. These are things that we need to know. And this particular doctor told me that for some weird reason, she's always the one to deal with food allergies, like it just happened to be lucky. But what if it was dealing with something that wasn't a food allergy, there was like a poisonous bug bite. We need to be neurotic. You need to be that neurotic mom ahead of time and annoy everybody, And don't go there unless you have a specific plan with a specific contact that you've proven that you could get in touch with, and a moment's notice at two o'clock in the morning, that you understand who the doctor's name is. All this ship it could have gone so sideways that it could literally be the difference between life and death. So that's just I couldn't wait to get back and rant on this because it's so fucking important. Hi. Uh, this is an exciting show because it is our one hundred episode and I am celebrating with you and listener questions. So at Jada one to three one, j e d a one to three one mom guilt. I can financially afford to leave the workforce but enjoy my work and the adult interaction. I know I am displaying a great work ethic for my kids, but how can I feel less guilty or get more flexibility to really get quality time with them? Thank you? That's an interesting question. I can financially afford to leave the workforce but enjoy. So this is someone who's feeling a little bit guilty because they know that they don't have to work, but they choose to work. But that can absolutely be part of your identity as a woman. And you can be a great parent and uh a great entrepreneur or mobile or co real person while having kids. And I think you have to have a balance and a structure in your life where you don't apologize for working, but you're careful to not blend the two lives. It's interesting because I have a book called Business is Personal. But when I'm with my daughter, I try to be present with my daughter. And when I'm working, I try to really just work, and the twain don't really meet. My daughter goes to school and that's when the action starts. So I think it's important not to feel guilty and um. The flexibility is about the balancing our time we were on the phone, the online shopping, the time sucks, the staying up too late, the wasting time, the gossiping, the nonsense. We waste a lot of time doing things that we don't need to. So if you're really efficient with your time, you can absolutely have a well rounded career and be a parent and thrive at both end. Set a great example for your kids. Anonymous tell us about Paul. How did you guys meet? Was it love at first sight? When did you know you wanted to marry it? Paul? I met uh on a dating app and we went out. He makes a joke. I wish he was here to tell it, and he will one day. He makes a joke that Uh he asked me, oh, I know what it was. We met on a dating app and we were messaging, and he lived in Boston. But I think he sort of led on that he lived in New York because he had produced a movie in New York, so he made it like he was in New York all the time, because that might have taken him out of the running. Definitely would have taken him out of running if I thought he did not live in New York. So then I just happened to be in Boston in a women's conference when we were texting, and I said, because he's an online dating guy, so I thought maybe he was dating a lot of different people. And I said this would be a great place to me women, because I think I was speaking in front of thousands of women. And he texted back and he said, yeah, I'm more of a one woman kind of guy, which was like a little bit of a snap, and I was like, Oh, I thought he must like me or something. So then he asked me to get together. I thought it was on a weekend, um, for a drink, or he'd like to take me out for a drink. I was in the depths of hell in my divorce, and without getting too into detail about that, because that's for a different question, Um, there was zero flexibility in my time, and I was really just on fumes, and I was either really working hard or really being present with my daughter, and there was never a switch, and it was just it was just a hard time. So I really was only ever meeting people if I didn't have my daughter. And I gave him a time slot of two to four on a Monday afternoon, which is literally like the worst time slot in history. And I didn't even realize it. It It was just when I had time. It was probably after a work lunch or before something I was shooting, and he took it and we went out and we um and now knowing him, he doesn't really drink, and I think I ordered a bloody Mary during the day or something, and he ordered a vodka. And I laugh all the time and I'm like, oh, you got a vodka in the afternoon, like he would never get a vodka. And we had a really nice time and he was very cute and handsome and boyish, charm and sheepish as he is, and um, that's my type and I really liked him, and um then we dated for a short time. We had a couple of times he gave me sting gorgeous flowers after our first night date, in which we went to multiple places, and again he's not a big party or neither of mine, and the two of us trying to be hot steppers on a first date, like going bar to bar and restaurant drinking like so not our personality, and it just went a little too fat like not, I don't mean fast, like intimately, just the nights went fast and the flowers and then I think I just thought the game was moving too quickly and I just sort of just kind of put it on pause, let's say. And nine months later we reconnected and I said something. He texted me, and I said something about we live in separate cities and you know, would this be worth it or something? And he said, um, my intentions are clear. I could easily get a place in New York, like he came in to play second time around, so um, and I fell I fell in love with him. He's a pretty incredible person. I do not deserve him main fashion e stuff. What is your advice to your twenty five year old self? Oh my god, I would never take it. How am I going to tell? I would say, don't stress, sleep more, worry less. You know. I just you are a person who has a drive and you're just always trying to figure it out, and I was hungry and I was poor, and I was just going I would not have taken any of it if that question happens a lot. But the truth is, I just don't think I would have taken any of Someone says, what would you give to your old stuff? If you would take it, would have been to like be a more relaxed person. Don't think you have to have your whole life resolved in one Well maybe that's it. That's actually true, that a successful relationship does not define you and doesn't need to be resolved in your twenties, your thirties, or even your forties. Like that is not I hear my assistance in their twenties thinking like oh if I don't have a boyfriend or I'm not this, and I think, oh my god, you this we wasted on the young that you really relationships just absolutely are not any real indication at those ages. In my opinion, at that age love L O V underscore L E A H A. What do you think is the biggest misconception about being on Real Housewives That the people are friends and people may seem like friends, and people may become friends, but that usually lasts for the duration of success or the show, with some exceptions. Um that the conflict is all real, and I mean it is real in the moment. It's something that's bothering you, but it's not something that you would ever care about in any other sphere because you wouldn't be placed with these particular people in any other sphere. So it's very strategically cast that you're supposed to be around other people, not unlike Survivor or The Apprentice, people are carefully chosen and put together and folded into a recipe. So you're selected and paired with different people that make a good combination for conflict. Nobody's making these shows, so we all get along and become best friends. So the conflict is not real because the original relationship is not based on reality, and you're fighting about things you do not give a shit about and would never discuss in your other life. You would never speak to these people again. But you're forced to be with these people. So therefore the conflict lives on your disbelief that you're spending time with these people sometimes is shocking, and then you don't want to, and then you have to, and then so you argue about the thing you argued about last year, but but exponentially, so that's sort of that whole recipe. Anonymous is cheating a deal breaker. I haven't been cheated on very much. I think I can only remember one time in my life one other maybe time that I suspected it, but it wasn't that serious of a relationship. I was very young too, um. And I've one time where I was blindsided. Uh, And I did forgive him, and I don't know why. I think it was because he had experienced death and his family right before that, so it seemed like some sort of excuse, which makes no sense to go cheat with someone that he had had a history with. Some maybe that person seemed attractive, but I'm not black and white about that. And the reason is because I see people who go through issues in their lives. I see people who go through emotional pain, who have their own personal insecurities and issues. Um. I see people who abandon each other in times of need, meaning people if both people are going through something and no one can water the other person when they're on fire, things could happen. I mean, that's why you have to nurture your relationship and say checked in and try even when the ship hits the fans to get back on track. But the only reason I don't say it would be a deal breakup for everybody is that, you know, the game starts to move quickly, and as I see, people really start to uh not take care of each other and lose focus. I have friends whose spouses go out too much. Maybe the one partner doesn't want to have sex as much to the other. Maybe one person likes to have fun and the other one's to homebody that seemed fun in the beginning, or they both like to go out in the beginning and someone becomes who they really are later. I mean, a lot of things happen um someone's not getting their emotional needs met, and a stranger seems like they're gonna give you all this attention. There are ten thousand reasons that I'm not an expert on, but I don't know that I could really ever get over it because of a trail is h would be It would be very hard to let go of the anger. But I don't want to tell people to not forgive if you're in one of those categories at L Manning Peasy, what is the best parenting advice you're ned to give to another mom of an eleven year old girl who's an only child. My daughter loves being an only child. She gets me all to herself. It is such a special relationship and you get to run and gun and do things in a way that people have more than one child can't. You're thinking about two people's opinions. Does this person want to do it? Does that person want to do it? Hotel rooms can become challenging things. I mean, I share a hotel room with my daughter, and it gets more expensive when it's more kids. Um. And so the parenting advice I have is to really value experiences way more than stuff. The experiences, the memories. My daughter loves knowing we're going to l a, We're gonna go to that cake decorating place because we've gotten some gone so many times. Oh, Gingerbread University a place over Christmas where we we just make gingerbread houses and it's like baby ish, but we love it. Going to Rockefeller Center every year. Experiences, pumpkin picking experiences are just so meaningful. Those are the things you really remember. You know, a pair of sneakers or an iPad is not something your child is going to remember. But these experiences and these memories are the things that really keep me going. And we just we love it. Baking together, cooking together, you know, going to the Hibachi restaurant, like just rituals. Kids love rituals and girls that age love rituals. But yeah, I love having an all the child. Honestly, it's been the greatest joy of my life, bar none. Nothing can come close. It's my She's my life. And what you put into your kids you get out of them. So it's been extraordinary at burned ran b r N D E r o N. How can this crisis and the importance be explained to Americans who are not of Ukrainian or Eastern European descent. Not enough people are up in arms about this conflict. As Polish American, I know how bad this can be, and I'm so grateful for the actions you've taken to assist the refugee situation. I just wish more individuals in US would take a greater stand. Listen, it's like anything else. Certain charities. A cancer charity is important to one person, a cleft palate charity is important to another person, and UH and autism charity is important to another person. It doesn't mean all of these issues are not equally important. They're equally important. Different people are passionate about different things, and it's hard to make other people get passionate and awareness and education is important. Uh. Media obviously controls the message. I mean, I told my daughter that there was you live in this house and someone wants to come in and take your house. Is effectively how I told her that you live in this house and someone wants to come and take your house and move you out of it. And are you staying and fighting for it or are you just going because you're scared? And it's a big thing, and the resistance has been huge, and it's such an inspirational like David Goliath story for kids about just like the pride. I mean, none of us knew the pride of Ukrainians, the love and the open arms of of of Poland. To to have this refugee crisis going coming straight into their country, I mean, it affects all of Europe. It's been crazy. But to answer the question, I'm annoyed too. The Milan Fashion Week was at the same time, the Food and Wine Festival was at the same time. You know now and then the SAG Awards and you're watching people really just obsessed with what they're wearing and how they look. And you know, when you get really passionate about something, it frustrates you that other people aren't talking about it and that they're talking about their eyelashes, and it gets a little bit you know, you have to balance that because you want to just say, shut up, who cares. It's something going on in the world, you really do, but you've got to just play, you know, spread the word on your own and their strength and numbers, and you know, it's been amazing to have the capability and the passion and the skill set to do relief work. It affects so many people. And to my point about all those charities earlier and all those issues, it affects everyone. The one thing about crisis relief is it affects everyone. It affects the blind, the death, the black, the white, the young, the old. I mean, it affects everything. So it's one of the great reasons, uh that if you want to get involved and donate to be Strong Bethany dot com slash be Strong, b t h e n n y dot com slash be Strong, you get to help everyone. I mean, our newest request is for UH protective gear because civilians feel like they're personally, you know, in a war fighting a war, so they want protective gear every day. The needs change. It was went from US helping refugees relocate to now going back into the Ukraine does a dangerous proposition, going back in with aid and military when you're dealing with Russians who obviously want the Ukrainians to be weak. It's a whole crazy thing. I feel like, I I'm so not political, but I learned so much about politics through leaf work. You have no idea. I learned about the craziest stuff you never ever think of. Van Cleave's v A n K L e f s. How did you learn to become a great parent and you had no role model? I think role models come in many different forms. You can view what people have done and do the opposite. You can create your own recipe of some of the things that other people have done and at it to what you've either read about, heard about, seeing from friends, watched on TV, etcetera. But I think it's important to break the chain. If you're aware that you can break the chain and do it differently, as a parent than the way that you were parent did with whatever limited resources your parents might have had or financially or age wise, or education or emotional intelligence, then it could be a winning formula. I mean sometimes mentors come in in in forms of people that are doing the opposite of what you would do, because you just want to do what they're not doing in business and in your personal life. At cater DD two, if you could do one thing differently in your career, what would it be? I don't know. I do my career the way that I love to. I literally don't do things I don't want to do. I don't do things I'm not passionate about. I I actually have given up millions and millions of dollars on this journey and just not doing what I don't feel good about, what doesn't give me the right emotional or so a full return on my investment. Uh So, I don't believe in regret. I would not do anything differently. Honestly, who were my real friends on Real House? I was real friends with Jill Zarin and Dorinda Um. I really like Sonya. I have a soft place in my heart for Sonya. Um. Kyle and I came up together when we were young. I met Kyle when Pharaoh her daughter was four, and I think she had fair at eighteen or nineteen. So I had to meet Kyle when we were like twenty two years old. I was at her wedding, so I've known her for years. Um. And I'm friendly with Lisa Rinna. I talked to Lisa vander Pumps sometimes. I message with Teresa, who are really like and you really like Niny. I think she's iconic and hilarious. Um. Oh. I was really friend to Carol too, and I got support. I got interesting messages from certain house. So I was very passionate about the relief work. Uh. The Loris Catania, I don't even know her. Who would expect her to be interested in what be Strong is doing and passionately interested? She really gets involved. And then Margaret is on Jersey also, she she sends nice messages. I'm always surprised. And there's another all the Jersey girls interesting. Uh, the girl who took everybody to her West Hampton house. Why am I having Jackie gold Schneider. She reaches out too. It's fascinating actually, now that I think about it. Um, the people who are interested in really for that that reach out and ask if they can help. Memes about Bravo one which friendship breakdown is hardest for me, Jill or Carol? It depends on where you were. Where was in my life. I was going through a challenging divorce and the friendship breakdown with Carol was definitely challenging. UM. I think Carol and I were equally, if not almost equally. If I don't know, you know I, I don't know that. I don't have to answer that question. I actually don't. UM. Friendships that are made on television, on reality television are not that easy. UM. There are a lot of other elements involved. Competition, fame, attention, success, money. Everybody in that franchise is comparing to everybody else. They can say they're not. They can hashtag women supporting women, We could do anything we want to do. I've been there, and they will all anonymously tell you the same thing that that's that's if you're doing better than other people. They're having a problem with it in one way or another. It may be wrapped in frosting, but in one way or another. At Laura Kids Health, what are my top three traitors? Joe's products? Wow. Well, I like to say I knew Trader Joe's before it was famous. Okay, I knew Trader Joe's decades ago from l A when you'd go there to buy your cheese and your inexpensive wine. So Trader Joe's is extremely famous now, almost as famous as kale Um. So my top three. They had a really good, like a good healthier spinach artichoke dip, which I appreciated. It was in one of those plastic containers. Uh. They have a good marinated cooked balsamic chicken. If you eat chicken, Um, it's just a scot It's in a salty sort of zesty sauce. That's nice. Um. Their cauliflower pizza crusted, I think is better than most. And I think they have a nice feaking pesto. And they have a nice soy cheese like shredded cheese. It's not if you're into non dairy cheese. Anonymous, What should I do if I think one of my managers is mad at me. She's being passive aggressive, and I'm not sure how to handle it. This is a good one. It depends on the personality type. Employers can be like bullies and sometimes they prey on weakness, and if you seem like you care and you seem like you're not strong, they might keep going. If you really don't have a reason that someone would be upset with you, I would plow straight through. I would plow straight through and lead by example and do good work. Uh and ignore ignore I don't. It's like you can't be desperate. But if it's just something that could risk a job and you might have done something wrong, then approached the situation. But approach it head on. Don't you be passive aggressive? Also, don't be wishy washy people like strong people who can just cut to the chase. Have a meeting anonymous. You've been outspoken about keeping your circle small. How do you balance maintaining friendships and building a career. I have no friends that aren't real to the core, could trust them with anything. Friends, So I'm really black and white. That's it. Like I'm I don't have a lot of middle of the road friends, so I can really trust my friends. And if you have really good friends, they're happy that you're building a career. There's zero animosity, zero jealousy, zero competition. They're very successful in their own right. In different industries and that's how I roll. John Hardesty, H A. R. D. S. T. Y Lord Pittle, Puck Do. I have plans to ever run for Congress or party, but I run for I am not political at all. As I said earlier, I learned a lot about political situations going on because of the disaster relief, and I am always involved in politics in the sense that we may need people in politics to help us in order to get our aid to the right people. So you have to play the game in that way, which is its own dance. Um. But I'm not for politics. I'm not for campaigning. I'm not for being fake. I'm not for uh red tape, I'm not for kissing people's ass. I'm not for any of that stuff. Thank you so much for these amazing questions. I love this. I hope you guys like it too. It seems to go very well last time. And I love your curiosity and it just makes me think of so many other different things. So we've got on these different tangents. So I really appreciate your natural curiosity and love to talk to you about what you're going through. So thank you so much. Remember to rate, review and subscribe and have the Best Day Ever. Just Be is hosted by me, Bethany Franklin. Just Be as a production of the real productions I Heart Radio and Blue Duck Media. Are EPs are Morgen Levois, Antonio Andriquez, and Kara Hit. To catch more moments from the show, follow us on Instagram and just Be with Bethany