It's exhausting, dehydrating, and a pain in the ass--But you're not going to accept less than what you deserve. Plus: if it's giving "boy," it's giving bye. Date MEN.
So you have to have good banter by text, not too much. You don't want to keep going and going and droning on, but you want to hook them in by saying, you know, by being authentically yourself, and by being a little shocking and a little disruptive in a way that is engaging, not in a way that makes you like a psychopath. But when you're not getting exactly what you want, meaning the normal version of interest, then you just shut down. You are closed, you have dissolved, you have evaporated, And in most cases, if you hook them in the beginning, they'll come and be disengaged, and what you'll say is either a yeah, I'm a serious person, so I lose interest pretty quickly. So if someone's not engaged with clear intentions and accountability, I lose interest because that's confident. That's walking away from the business sale. It's not like weed, you didn't call me, you didn't text me and give all these dumb, dumb rules. It's being the confident, grown ass woman that you are that basically says things like something that I've said, I've said this sentence, I've said yeah, without clear intention and pursuit. I lose interest I've said that sentence and people have literally chewed up their own food, spit it out, chewed up my food and eaten it out of my hand. Like, basically, you don't accept less than what you deserve. You don't date down, you don't take scraps, you don't date boys, and you don't date charming. You have self respect, and you don't accept less than what you deserve. Clear communication means no games. You're not on your first date one drink and saying I want to get married, I want to have kids, because that's ridiculous anyway, who is this guy? You don't know, You don't know that you want that. Don't be desperate you're interviewing him. We all are sitting at these women like, oh my god, he's texting me yippie. What are you a dog waiting for a treat? No, you decide, you're body of your choice. Another big fatal flaw, women and judging each date, going low, getting miserable, eating ice cream, going home, self loathing because the date didn't go well. A he didn't call, Okay, great, he didn't call. He doesn't like you. Who cares? It's the only person in your life. You're only gonna meet. You're at a restaurant and there's one dish on the whole fucking menu. That's all you could eat the rest of your life is this one angel hair Arabiata. No who cares good? You don't know what's going on with them. Maybe it doesn't like you. Maybe he thinks you're annoying, Maybe he's going through a breakup. Maybe he's a mama's boy. You have no idea. So also getting home and like feeling depressed because you've gone so many bad dates. You know what those dates are for? Those dates are when you go walking on an apartment tour to go look at homes, which is exhausting, dehydrating and a pain in the ass. But you know what looking for a home does for you, shows you what you do want and don't want. It's a real estate search. So you decide different than everybody else. You need high ceilings and you need brightness, but you don't require a bathtub. You need to be in a good location and a gym in your building, but you don't require amazing wood floors. Whatever your thing is, so you walk away from each of these guys. You always be a class actor. You always be nice you always respond you don't ghost anybody. You're always wonderful to be around. Why Because let's say there are putts, a moron, a loser, they're not attractive. But they did one thing right. You liked that they ordered for you. You like that they opened the car door for you. That becomes something that goes on your list of things that you're going to want and that you now find out are possible because your ex didn't do any of that, and that's why you're in this situation. Your ex was not chivalrous. He was selfish. He lets you walk through a parking lot alone and didn't think about the fact that you needed to be there. He'd let you walk on the street side of the sidewalk where you could get splashed or you know, something could happen with dust in the street. This guy, this dork that you don't like, did the opposite. Okay, that's one thing that you now know why you broke up with your ex. So you take that as institutional knowledge and you find the dream apartment for you, or an apartment with things that have many things that you like, but some things you can settle for. Also, that guy, that dork that you don't like. You're gonna be nice to him. Maybe he likes you more than you like him. You're gonna say he was very handsome, you had a wonderful time, Thank you so much. When he tries to reach out, you know what, I think you're really wonderful. I'm in a weird place right now. I'm not sure that this is right, but you know what, I have so many I have many girls, and because I think you were so lovely to me and you did this, that and the other thing. Right when I think of someone, I'm gonna call you. Or maybe that guy works somewhere where one of your friends might want a job. Maybe that guy has other friends that you might want to go out with. Maybe that guy has a great social schedule and you might end up at a party with him. Don't be small picture, don't play checkers. Dating is getting institutional knowledge. It's crowdsourcing information only dumb, dumb, basic bitches take it on face value and start just criticizing the guy. Oh he wore ugly shoes, he did this, that's for basic bitches. You're not basic. You are the prize and you're going to figure it out along the way. So everything is an opportunity for you to grow in this dating experience and don't date boys, date men. A twenty five year old person can be a man, and a seventy five year old man can be a boy. You date men, not boys. You send them all right through the strainer, and if it's giving, boy, it's giving by Relationships can become your identity. Why you're young, You went pre wed. You wanted to be taken care of. You thought that that's something that would be the envy of millions. All your friends would love it. Everybody's going to your wedding, it's your time, et cetera. But you are entrepreneurial. But somehow you feel like it's going to satisfy you enough to be in this relationship, because this is going to be your identity. You're going to live in a cul de sac, You're gonna meet a bunch of friends. You might play tennis, you might have a cute little job. You're gonna do the costumes for the school play. And this is going to be satisfying. And then you're gonna be forty five, and then you're gonna be drinking rose with your friends, buy the washing machine, gossiping. Maybe at book club, and you're gonna be like, what the fuck am I doing? He's doing what he's doing, And now I have no purpose and I don't have a job, and I don't feel like I really went and did it. And I see people like Bethany Frankel who maybe haven't been successful in relationships, but she really fucking went and grabbed the bag. She was on the cover of Forbes magazine. She can do whatever she wants, buy whatever she wants, go wherever she wants, a date whoever she wants. And I'm sitting over here by my washing machine. So what you're gonna do is do both. You're gonna work and keep your identity in work. And if a relationship is going to debilitate or diminish that you may not be in that relationship because you got to secure something on your own. If you want to be an entrepreneur, I'm not saying you want to be an entrepreneur. I'm not saying you don't want to be a stay at home mom. Nothing wrong with that. But for me, had I stayed in my very secure relationship in my twenties where I knew his family would ultimately support me, where I knew that I would have financial mediocre security from my current standards, I would have stayed there, and I would have been itching because it was always in my body and my gut instinct. If it's itching inside of you but you're scared because it's not going that great and you're broke, the way to solve that is not to jump into a relationship because that's going to save you. It will not save you. It will become your identity and you will still have that itching part of you, but you'll be much older and much less marketable. Why you don't need a guy in finance trust fun blue eyes. Six ' five six ' five is categorically too tall. If you are five to eleven, you probably need a guy that's six y two six ' three, and it could be six y five. And I'm not discriminating against anybody. Six y five. Tall guys are great. I think height is wonderful. You don't need a guy that's sixty five unless you want to be carried out of a fire. That's a good reason. Trust fund means entitled means, don't understand word ethic, don't understand the value of a dollar, have been given everything. It means boredom. It means they've never had to fight for something or earn something. They're not self made. It means getting really bored and cheating, unrest unsettled, It means the Emperor has no clothes. It means feeling less than and like you have no drive and purpose and you have to fill that void with toys and purchases. And it means depression. Finance means you run around with a big, swinging dick in crisp clothes, your hair slipped back with gel and some cologne, that you hang out in bars at happy hour, that you're expensing to your boss saying you have to go out for drinks on Tuesday night to go sell to other people. It means you're working for someone else. You're not making that much money. You're fronting and stunting, and you will have sex with girls and ghosts them. You do not need that guy and that girl who created the sound can do better. Do not date down, Do not accept screw apps. Women are accepting scraps. The littlest thing that he did he texted and it was a hard It wasn't a Sideway's emoji winky face. Get your life together. You're not that desperate. You'd rather be alone than date down. If you're begging for scraps and getting excited over morsels and crumbs, be alone