RHONY - S11, E13 “IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S MIAMI”
While Bethenny and Christine chat about RHONY, it inevitably leads into discussing their own lives. Find out why Christine and husband Ben Stiller split and what brought them back together. Plus, Bethenny reveals the reasoning behind her actions after her divorce.
When there's a Housewives trip, you know it's going to be a drama filled episode. This one is a masterpiece, described by Christine Taylor, who is phenomenal and a fan. Her daughter's a fan. The Ladies of New York are heading to Miami, and the women find out Ramona made out with Harry Dubin and Sonya lashes out at Luana Ramona and the wheels come off. Ronnie superfan Christine Taylor joins me to recap this episode. This is real Housewives of New York Season eleven, episode thirteen. It's not you, It's Miami. Let's get into it. I'm a fan and I was really excited that you did this.
Oh my god, I'm so excited.
Can I ask a weird question? Did you married now? Did you get back together? You're back?
Yes?
Yes, yes, we're back together. We never divorced, we separated, we're back together. I know it's it's like it's so not newsworthy, but it seems to have I think it's so newsy in newsworthy. But yeah, I don't find it as newsworthy as others do.
But I mean, I think the only like Melanie Griff and Antonio Banderiz kept getting back together, and maybe, like Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, I think it's newsworthy. I just feel like, yeah, that's a common No, I broke up with someone that was like the love of my life for I don't know if it was a year and I was miserable, and it gives you perspective. Was it during the like me during during the pandemic, and it was exactly that it was. It was well for us.
We found our way back during the pandemic because we were all forced to live under the same roof, So it could have gone either way.
Yes, Oh, because distractions and life were part of it. And then well that's very interesting because mine was the opposite. And when I got COVID and I got it really bad, it was like I had like a four hundred and four and chattering teeth and like felt so alone and he was so amazing during that time. It's funny, I'm remembering now that was part of it. Like I felt needy for him. We weren't together because he was we were long distance, but it still like connected us. So yeah, funny, and we also but it ended like at the beginning of the pandemic because it was also wonky. It was like weird, it was mundane, and we were in twoday with States and it was just like every day is the same. Let's talk about the roast chicken you ate, and let's be on the treadmill and say nothing and like, h it's all blah and like we broke up. But then the same thing. So I just I don't know why. That's the first when I saw it. It's the first thing I thought. So I don't know why. But that's nothing to do with what we're doing here. And on the other show, Jess b we could talk about that and relationships, but here we're to talk about very important things, way more than relationships and love. So you live in La No, I'm in New York.
I'm right. Yes, we have been in New York since twenty eleven, twenty yes, early twenty eleven.
Yes, oh my god, Like wow, I like became friends, you know, friends with Elizabeth moss on here, like we really like each other, so maybe maybe by the end we'll be friends.
So you I was gonna say, we we have been like keeping our eyes peeled for you all over the you know course, watching this.
I never I never leave the I never leave the house, by the way, same same, Yes, is that really true though, Like I really don't know that's it's bad.
I really That's why the pandemic was, Like I am such an isolator, so the fact that people were saying, you can't leave your house was a gift. But no, I go out when there's like you're being paid, scheduled event paid to leave.
If you're gonna pay me, I'll leave. Yeah.
We do a lot of ordering in yes, exactly.
Okay, So the pandemic gave me. It's bad in a sense because it gave me permission to be more of who I really am and life still went on, so like I got more and more deep inside. Like the only the one reason that I loved being on reality TV, and there were many reasons, but one of the things was that, like, as a young woman in my twenties, I would walk to Starbucks with pimple medicine on in my pajamas, like sixty two bucks away. I didn't care, Like who cares on my pajamas, Let people pajama I I just always was a person who was a major homebody, and it would like I'd make plans next week and then have anxiety the whole day and not want to go and think of reasons and someone would cancel. I'd be so excited, like it was problem but life. Then when I got in the entertainment industry, I would have a reason to like put on clothes because I like buying stuff and put on makeup, and so the pandemic then was really like, this is weird. And then we're being allowed to never leave to work. So it's been almost bad because you're like I'm like Kim Beazinger, where it's like, no, like why would I leave? Why would I ever get?
Why?
Movie from here? This week? It seems exciting, it was a big stars, I could wear a great outfit. I cancel because I'm like, why am I going? Why don't you seem.
So social to me? And I know that's part of what the show was, and that was obviously what took you out of that comfort zone. I guess right, because.
I'm interactive because I like banter. This show gave me another reason I've made friends that I've never even met. It you like my new pimpund now? Yeah, because think about have you ever think about it? You could not that you think about me, but like try to find me on a red carpet, like it's maybe like one Sprinkle year, because if you invite me to the Vanity Fair after party, I'll go, Sure it'll be.
But you don't go to every single opening that you get invited to, and same. I always feel like I want to go see a Broadway show when there's no red carpet, I don't want to go to the opening. I want to see the show fly under the radar. I really, because it's just so much work.
It's just well, if you go to the Broadway show and there's a red carpet, it doesn't matter that it's like sort of casual, like they're like, oh, it's Rock Center and it's like the night of the disco skating and I want to go because I like skating and it's a thing. And then I'm like, fine, who cares, it's a skating thing. I'll do my own makeup. And then that picture shows everywhere and other people look amazing. I look like a shipbox. So you got to spend one thousand dollars to go to a fucking movie from here? If there's a record it is, it is true.
You have to get your glam. I agree, I agree, I know, I know, all.
Right, So you've watched all them? Shows? Are just some? Do you have one over it? Where are you?
And here is how it all came to pass. Last summer, My well, my daughter who's just turned twenty one, became a fan. Her best friend loved the show New York. You're all of you guys, and Ella was behind the game on it. Then she started watching it with her best friend. Then she got her wisdom teeth out last summer and she reeled in me and my our son, my son who is now he's almost eighteen. But we started watching and I want to say, the first episode she showed us so I don't know how many seasons in she was, but was was the uh Berkshire's Christmas, the classic. Yeah, it was all of it. It was, and so we were sucked in immediately to the craziness. But and then and then she just went because she had everything downloaded, so it wasn't like she was waiting to watch with us. So whenever she was like, do you guys want to watch some episodes, we would pop in.
So and she liked New York in particular your son only New York, only New York.
She just started, and she'll yell at me if I get this wrong. But she she's getting more into Beverly Hills now. But it's not the same, That's what she has said.
It's not it's not the same. Because what I realized today, which we're going to get into, like, you know, the thing is when you're in it, and you know this from doing TV, I think it's different, but you know, it's like you're in a kitchen and you're watching different INGREDI and then like four days before so degrading as people on this cast. Four days before we get the episode like Jen Pop basically for and like so we're just cramming through to see what like covers we have to hide under for something we said, and then it's on and you don't even watch it. When it's on, you just want to know, like what hits you're taking. So you didn't really enjoy it because it's just like you can't you two in it.
Right.
So now I'm watching this and I'm like watching it like a person, and I'm just one of the characters on there, and I appreciate it and I understand what New York is different. About I mean, New York is slobbery and messy and like it's smart, but it's it's met it's really fucking it's not perfect, Like all our luggage is so chaotic, and we don't mind looking like train wrecks and Beverly Hills. It looks like it's like a like thing, like a little shiny, like diny little mark on everything. Like everything is to be so perfect. We are not glossed over. We're like, no, it's tressy, it's real, which I love.
And when I found out what episode we were supposed to watch, you know, to talk about today, I watched it out of context. Then I opened the last few days watched the entire season and then and then of course went to start it and realize you left right after the season, so I was like, I got to see your hey Day final season and yes, yes, and I.
Will say, I'm going to tell you a lot of behind the scenes because so this is in my it is in my I think this is Listen, there's vintage me in like the blue sweater that I pulled out of the raggedy drawer that I bought at a vintage store with no makeup on and the one liners, and then there's this which is kind of me iconic because this is me working at like not meaning working at it, but yeah, working at it. Like I was going through a wretched ten year divorce. So when I came back, they paid me shit tons of money because they begged me to come back, and they paid me ship tons. Now I'm back and I'm gonna deliver because when when the campaign came back that I was coming back, it was the Bee is back. So it was like so much pressure and the bar the bar, and the ratings had plummeted from three million to one point six I think it was or one point four, like so half the audience was gone now, so it was gonna be not even back. Oh Bethany couldn't save it or she came back, No one cares. So I felt like I'm coming back, and like it was so much pressure because everyone was making a big deal about it and not just letting me glide on in. So I came back, and I also was going through a wretched divorce. Where my custody schedule was was if I was asking if I was getting paid ten million dollars to do something four months from Thursday I couldn't get a switch, and I was going through real stress. So I came back and I said to them, I'll take this boatload of money, but I won't work on nights that I have my daughter, and I'm gonna have to work with my custody schedule. They took anything, and my boyfriend's not coming on and my daughter's not coming. Like I gave you this crazy menu.
Yep.
So and I've never told that story about the a la carte menu, but I gave this crazy menu. So on this trip, I said, I was in three states in one day. I was working. So they're like, you have to come the whole time. The trips is the whole thing. I said, I can't. So I was there for three out of the five days, or two out of the four days. I came late and left early.
That's what you say, you say, I'm I'm always the one coming late. I'm the last to arrive and the first to lead, right.
So you have resentment from other people because I have special rules, right, and they know I'm getting paid a fuck time and I have to perform whilst there. And it turned out on this show they edited out the whole day after I left. They all went to some organic farm and the woman who runs the company was like, we need we need you because it's all gonna fucking be garbage and that shit's gonna be on the floor. So you come and you're like I and you can almost see it, Like I walk into the dinner and I'm like zero dark thirty, what I'm not check check check, go to Luand's room, check check, check. So and you go to bed check check check. So it's like I'm fucking slag and dragons and leave they're exhausted. So that's like a little context for like what era this was, Like, I'm gonta fucking deliver.
Well, yeah, I mean you are so no nonsense. You are so no nonsense through all of it. When I when I watched the entire season, there is no question. It's like you are You're the talking behind backs and all You're like, no, I'm going right to the person I'm saying, like you'll talk about it, and then you're like, no, I'm just gonna go straight. Where's the other girls? They'll talk about people behind each other's backs, but then let somebody else tell and that becomes the drama. But you bring it right to like you can just tell you are I just? I mean, it's a It's a beauty to watch because there is a lesson to be learned in you know, saying what you mean, meaning what you say. And you always say, I'm not trying to offend you or you know, there's that saying but don't say it mean. But you are the queen of being able to to go in and just put it on the table.
It's appreciated.
It's very fearless.
I am fairly fearless, and I am into a direct to consumer model in all areas of life. Like I watched Sonya. Luanne said Sonya's taking pills, and Sonya told fucking Mickey Mouse and Donald Dot come back. It's like a circle jerk, and I just I don't got nobody and nobody got time, so so here we go. Okay, So this for everyone listening is exciting. And I love when people are I love I love when people are passionate about this. Some people come on and have never watched, but they put their back into it, and I love that. And but I love this. This is like Elizabeth Moss, you know, like a like a successful person coming on and like really has studied this like it's her most important work she's ever done. So here we are and this is this is one of my I did not realize this is one of my favorite episodes, and I have chosen because of this episode my legacy cast. Like I have a scenario where I come back. I am an ex producer in Vanity and name only. I don't really you know, I'm not gonna insult. I'm just want the I want the credit, credit seeker. I want the credit, and I'll tell you it's Bethany and the Blondes, be and the Blondes and it's me Tinsley, which I wouldn't have thought. But you need that little frosting otherwise it's all too like it's all like razor Blade, so you write frosted, right, So me Tinsley, and I like Tinsley. I do Derinda, Sonya and Ramona. It's messy and it's not it's good business. It's not that I love everyone want to hang out with him. It's good business. And aside, like a friend side, dish a quarter Luanne, okay, any side. I don't want the whole thing and I'm not doing it. But like literally she's.
An Luyanne would be the Barbara to you, and she's the very.
Barbara acted like a friend even though she was cast worst casting, possibly the worst casting in Housewives history. But yeah, but but Luanne is like a like a quarter character. She's a friend of her friend. She dips in and out and that's it. And these women would take that deal because they're not getting their legacy shout, they're getting a legacy trip. So they probably each getting paid one hundred thousand for a week. Did each take that deal. They wouldn't mind that I was getting paid boatloads of money because it's the only way I'd do it, and the vanity title because they want back off the bench coach, so that that's my cast. And Tinsley would probably only come back to the Housewives in that scenario because she doesn't really want to do it. But I would personally, you know, And I wouldn't have thought that when I was there. That's why I'm changing my perspective, Tinsley. I didn't think when I was there was like that great because sometimes it was like, all right, get out of the way with the big you know, the adults have to talk over here, right, And I like a little.
You know.
I like her, I've always liked her, but as a housewife, I appreciate her for how she fits into this puzzle piece of these Bethany and the Blondes.
That's but Tinsley disappeared, too, right, and Leah came in.
Yeah, right, Tinsley disappeared and Leah came in and and Tinsley is not an excellent housewife. But she's a good solid player to get on the field sometimes, like you know, she's a good solid and she gets you know.
I think it's a good sprinkling.
She's not good with every like, she's not somebody who's just gonna get like Kelly Ben someone you're it's gonna go throw her in with everybody. She's not good with everybody's because because our dynastic Tinsley's good with me because it's unexpected and it would be nice. So that's where I stand with that. That's my that's my weird legacy cas that I've never thought of before. And I'm the words of the prophet Needy Leaks. I say what I said. I love it so more, more and more little tidbits for you. We are so messy and we always go in the messy trips. We don't go to like Bali or like you know, Dubai. We go to Miami, we go to Des Moines, like yeah, they may they make Kingston into you know, that's our Kingston is.
Our Balie exactly.
So it's like show. It was like, it's like we're there a Kathy Griffin life on the D List of Housewives. We're always like a wreck.
So that's why I think it's everybody's favorite.
It's a favorite. It's a favorite, and that it doesn't rate the highest, but it's more like arrested development or something. It's like a people people.
Like it as I'd rather take that. Yes, exactly. Yes.
So so let's start with Luanne and just Cabaret as a concept and her just her singing for Christmas, Like right, well.
Well it starts with that, and it starts you know, I mean, I feel like that is it's always that. That was the thing. The hook that Ella brought my son and I into too was Luanne's songs and she would play us the songs over the summer and I couldn't believe that it was it was real, it was and it was so auto tuned and very you know, what I mean, it was so overproduced, you know, And then I see her in the beginning of this episode sort of, you know, in her rehearsal, and she's it's not that she's tone deaf. And you guys talk about it later in the season at one or maybe you talk about it at the reunion at the end. Yeah, where it's not that she sings badly. That's just not the strength. It's it's more bad.
It's not that she sings badly, it's that she thinks it's that she's a bad singer. You didn't describe. It's that she's a bad singer, right, But what's the best? And I have a good callback. It's very Zoolander.
It's you know what, that's you're right, because he's it's commitment. It's fully committed. It's and lacking a little bit of self awareness, right yet totally in the zone and fully committed.
Yes, okay, I just thought that spot I don't. Yeah, so I'm saying that. But also it's very Housewives because like only on The Housewives, can you have can you like make a career out of not being able to sing? Kim Zolziak has ten billion dollars in probably fake diamond bracelets and is playing rich and now she in foreclosure and like oz I r s money, like it doesn't have to be real, it doesn't have to be There were times when Sonia said she owned it, like was investing in a soccer team and fragrances and it doesn't matter. She by charat you could do a fashion show. Their head doesn't have to be clothing, right.
And what happened to Luanne's Broadway debut too, that didn't seem to happen right. Remember she she talks about that she was cast in Chicago on Broadway and I don't, oh, I love.
You, look at you piling facts and it's been like tea, I didn't even know. I forgot about that because we probably didn't take it seriously. So cabaret just as it's and it's just cabaret, and like that could have been that's a satire movie. It's Saturday Night Live. It's like I am black and you are white? Here is blind? Does it beat your Star wars? Nothing? Yes, it is.
She's talk singing a story. It's it's it's you know and and you know, and I feel like this starting it out because of where it goes later in the season, this episode in particular, of the of her getting ready for Christmas and saying this is very different from her cabaret show. This is a Christmas show because later, you guys are so done with seeing the shows, and there's the whole thing that happens later where the Christmas party, the surprise party scheduled on the same night, and and you guys don't go anyway, she is it just you know, and then and then it's it's it's Sonya coming in. And by the way, she's the only one who seems to call her Sonia.
And she's because she because she's another thing. Another thing that can happen on the Housewives and with Madonna is you can make up your own accents and be European because you you once did a layover in Frankfurt.
Like it.
It doesn't it doesn't matter, it's not important.
So that's not that would that would answer why she pronounces alcohol alcohol right, right?
And yeah, I'm sure, yeah, exactly, it's there are a lot of influences that say, Turely, it doesn't mean anything. It's just what they say. So, yeah, she's because she was from Connecticut, but also mild or you know, eight in an Italian restaurant. We don't know. It doesn't matter, it's not important to see. Don't get don't get caught up in the truth.
It's not I will not. I will not. You're clearing so much up for me right now.
Facts don't matter at all. On the Auswives. Yeah, but Sonia does seem high like I love Sonya so much, but she has mixed up the medications.
Yes, I mean too many. Even though you guys clear her of that, it feels as if there's something sort of, you know, being mismanaged. Yeah, high on life is not usually does not usually look like that, as it doesn't.
And I will say this, I don't know what she was doing overall. And I will say this as it pertains to drinking. I don't know how this affects anybody who's taking anxiety medication. I will tell you as a fact. And this is one of the problems I do have with the whole genre, because people like you and your kids are watching and it's entertaining because to you it is it is almost like watching Saturday Ight Live or Zoolander. But many of these women who go on the show end up like going on anxiety medication because of the show. So it's like this self created yeah of something that's like not real, but you're making money and your work, you know, so it's crazy. But you drink more when you're doing the show because like you're getting ready and everything seems exciting and it's like, let's have a drink, and it's nothing seems real. It's all like it's just something to do. It's like it's like eating pistachio nuts or smoking a cigarette. Like you walk in and you're just like, let's have a drink and let's have another drink, and then it seems like a good idea because you have such anxiety and like you're gearing up for something and you have to be so on. So I guess many people doing stand up or improv or their live show like can relate to that, like you just have to.
Be Haydo taking theo. You wanted to feel a little more loose and free and yes, yes it all make sense and that's why it happens. That's so much, I think, especially in the in the heated moments when stuff is going on and everyone's like, okay, let's just have a drink. Let's just you know, diffuse the situation and it's it's.
A it's an activity too, and it's yeah, like I don't drink hard alcohol anymore. I don't drink as much as I used to, even tho I'm watching this you know, great Rose, But I sometimes I'll be like stressed. I never drank to excess, but on a Tuesday, I'll just be I never drank either for social like it'd be like on a Tuesday, I'd be stressed like, oh, I can't believe this happened, and I'd want to sip some vodka just take the goddamn and it worked, like works. So now I'm missing that thing because like an edible or a pill which I don't take like zonks you out and puts. It's a different type.
Of feel because yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly exactly type.
Like alcohol could just you could take a little and it could just use properly. It just does take that like right right right.
Well.
I feel like this is also the the you know, the the quintessential episode where Luanne because she's sober and she's you know, going to the AA meetings, and I feel like she is not part of that. So she is like the outside. She has a lot of judgment when she's seeing it in action, even though she was a train wreck before. Like it, you know, you can't be judgmental when you're in one place in somebody else's So even though classics, Sonya is a hot mess at that dinner in Miami. I mean it is like off the charts that whole day. I mean when she just starts drinking. From the arrival and the unpacking.
Oh my god, we're going to get into the closet and all that stuff. We're going back in the But you're right, like there's a class there's a thing that is very classic, which is someone goes sober. I guess they have their They can now see things clearly. They're looking at other people, but not everything needs to be said. And the juxtaposition if I say something to Sonia, it's very different than Luanne. Now let's get to the uh during and at the Christmas Tree, Like I liked a lot of these events seem fake and made up, and I liked this event. It seemed elevated, it seemed legitimate. I like what she wore, Like, you know, this event doesn't really matter. It's just a vehicle to have this conversation. But like, I like this event as a backdrop compared to like they show in black and white like scenes from going to Clay make because it never really made it like this was a good This is like a good event to me, you know, yes.
And I gotta say and maybe like for the real diehard fans who have seen every single episode and no to Rinda, like every episode through this season, to me, it's like you and her are most are mostly the voices of reason. I feel like Janda comes off the least crazy as previous episodes i'd seen her in this season. She's holds scrub, you know, she has the stuff with.
Luanne, but I feel like she is fairly on the rails on the rail right, and and like it's she's drunk, but it's like a drunk it's fun.
It's like fun.
Yes, it wasn't it's not. It's not terrible drunk. It's not dark, it's not fringing drunk. It's not dark.
Right, So what do you think about Luanne talking about her in her act and her saying she's gonna call her lawyers. I don't think you can tell someone not to talk about them in their act. Otherwise Kathy Griffin wouldn't have a career.
Of course, not no, of course you can't get a letter from lawyers about what you say in a show and who you talk about.
I mean, you know, I don't know why we never brought that. I don't know why I never I wasn't around for those conversations because I don't know why. If I was there, I'd be like, what are you talking about? Like you can't, you know you can't.
Right, But you would think that Luanne would have the Wherewithal anyway after because they they by this point they had sort of made up with each other. You know, the beginning of the season, they are not really speaking, and you know it's one of them wants you know, there's like the clam bake and one wants one to apologize and Derenda's not showing up a barbes and the whole thing, and they finally kind of make peace. So you would think Luanne would also sort of like read the room a little bit.
Right now, it's not put her in the show and exactly do a joke about her like you're right, it's button pushing.
Well, you're right, And they referenced Jo Vannie and it would annoy me too. I gotta tell you if I brought someone to a because that's also very housewives too. This is some behind the scenes to you too about housewives are very grabby, which I know isn't going to shock you. But like, let's say you have a necklace on and another girl says, and you were gifted it from a brand on the Housewives, you have to gatekeep. You must gatekeep because here's what will happen. So I want to do to guest host on the Today Show and another housewife called, and I won't rat them out because then it's riding out Hoda or Jenna and I never connected dot so Hoda came up to me and told me that another housewife had called that morning to say, like why would you have Bethany, Why wouldn't you have me? Because a minute you tell someone. So also if it's stuff, if you say I got this, that other housewife immediately like this is a Ramona and Luanne special. They are the most Tinsey would never do this. Sonya might, but she'd forget about it. But the most the most vicious offenders would be Jill Zarin, Ramona and Luanne would be calling by noon to make an appointment at the show and say, Bethany got some stuff. I thought I could come up Like they have no shame in their game, right, right, so you got to kind of gate keep. So Durinda brought Luanne to Jovanni and like Luanne had to fucking bust it open like a pinata, like okay, you got a dress or too. You don't have to like you know, it's just like it annoyed Durinda, which I do understand, right, it's annoying, right, and she didn't give her credit, and all Durnda wants is credit, like thank you, this wouldn't have happened. It's not money. It's just it's annoying that Luana has to make everything like it was her idea. Tried to claim Skinny Girl Margarita, like Luanne has to make things that don't matter, that that that she came up with them and own.
Them right exactly not to go and that's I feel like that that is a you know, I remember having like a high school friend who would copy the things and my mother would say, oh, imitation is the best flattery, but that's bullshit.
Yeah, I agree, with my health.
Got the thing that you know, annoying.
No, I tell brand like not to copy. And there's a person in our lives that like copies every single thing, and we told her like stop, like it's too much. I don't want even copy me. Also, it's so funny in the middle of the night because I'll say to Paul, oh you copied me, my fiance, my fiance, I don't want to copy me either, And I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I'll pie and then he'll go, oh, you just copied me. He'll cry because I have a thing about being copied.
I don't like yes, it's like your own yes, to take your own path, let me have mine. Or if you're if you love something so much and you want to just say I love that. I think I'm gonna get it and I will give you full credit. You know, I don't know, but it's still annoying, still annoying.
If it's like a thing like like like green is my thing, so I have like a green car and a green watch, like stay away, right, I can't own a color, but it's gonna be. It's gonna be my color for now. Like in this friend's circle, right, and yeah, and if you don't well yeah, if you don't own a lot of green things, then yeah, stay the fuck away from my collar.
Yeah yah yeah, so so so I get it.
And it's but but Dirinda, if Dorinda had said it's funny because The Housewives is a zero s game, someone always has to be winning, someone always has to be losing. So in that scene now twenty twenty hindsight, it's obvious to me, just like with the tipsy girl thing, I should have just said something nicely to Sonya or constructively I got mad or not taken the bait, and it would have been on TV. But in this scene, Diorinda should have just said, will you do me a favor? It may be weird, and who cares? Can you just not have me in the act? Would you just not like I'm getting a lawyer? And she should have just said that, And I bet you the lad So we don't deal with things that way because we are bitches, right and we need to go to the mattresses and as women, just say it to say it nicely, and of.
Course, of course, and I think that's that's also something that would be much more reasonable in real life, but on television, you want it to be contentious, you want fair. You know, I think you're right. I think fair right, that I had Drenda said that, it just probably wouldn't have even made it fair right, fair, Yes, I think it's a little bit too sweet. You got to diffuse some things in life. And like I bring up that tipsy girl scene if you saw it or didn't, but it was when Sonya does something with a cheeter brand and I go hard, and she's not the person to go hard on, Like I almost brought her to tears, and like I was in my own head and so angry, but I wasn't playing chess. I was playing checkers, And I think, like you gotta play the long game and only pick the battles you need to pick right, right, right exactly exactly, Like Carol went so hard about the book Ghostwriter that made her seem like she didn't write her own book or just quiet down, shut up and don't don't don't take the bait right right exactly exactly, And.
Luan. Sonya has been Luyan's bitch for years, so it's not the one to go talking behind her back about later about anything. And what I do love about Sonya is she will pop off and it will be in a way that seems chaotic, but you'll be rooting for her because she has hit her boiling point, so like you know, it's it's something where someone else it's like, wow, you're crazy, and she did was off the rails. But with Sonya in particular, she'll be speaking in tongues. But if you really listen and you read the tea leaves, you can find what she's saying makes some sense.
Yes, well, even in her even in when we get to that if you know that that dinner rant when she is just sort of slurring through, I mean really at the core her when she starts going at Luanne and Ramona about her guys about her like why do you have to double dip into my men? And as you say, like it's disgusting. Yeah, the greatest line I peed my There are two moments that I literally like did a spit, but like peed my pants laughing, And the other is like you getting bleeped out saying I nothing lun when you guys are shopping. Nothing Leu Aanne could do would surprise me. You say something and then you're like, she could take a shit on me, and it wouldn't surprise like and I literally and if they bleep out shit, I don't know. I love that you could say shit is out what you can't say shit on my head or whatever ship on me, but you can say curator of cock. But both of those lines are like, I treasure them. I will never let them go. They will always be in like thought bubbles coming out of your beautiful face.
And I love you for it, thank you it I I a good, good line I have to say. And I never remember any of them. I forgot I said that. I never remember any of them. I say, I'm gonna see and I see him mention it all everyone thought was the biggest line in history. I never remember saying it. I don't know what's coming out of my mouth. That's what's funny about that. But yeah, she's totally valid. And Luanne never misses the opportunity to do the wrong thing. She never misses the opportunity these That's why she's been on the show for so long, because she if you look at what she's doing like she's never like the funniest and she's not the most entertaining, but she'll just do like the wrong thing or be the biggest narcissist, which is why I say in the next scene, the bathing suit shopping scene, that the stuff, that stuff was ugly, Like I don't know what I was, why I was. I mean, Messa Odabash seems like a great designer, but the stuff I was trying on, like, I don't. I did not buy that.
Thank god, this looks like my most this is the most, the most me the most.
No, I said, this is my personality, which she doesn't say a lot about my personality, so you know.
I was like, you can't put on it, like anything looks good on you, like, let's be real, let's and that's not a no, it's just yeah wow, except for that one thing, but yes, like a little yeah. It just looked like you were kind of killing time. I didn't think you were really gonna buy anything.
I didn't.
You probably were covered on the trip. You were probably already covered.
Yeah we didn't take that dress, but yeah, because probably they weren't giving it us for free. And I was like, we just put your place on the map because we thrashed the land, so we need a free calftan. So so so, but I remembered I forgot this whole thing. Luanne was always like she's always like it's always the dig covered in frosting, and she's just you just walk in and she'll say something just like give a dig and be like what what would were you? Are you leave early or you're not doing like there was just something, just jams in something and then like walks away. And for me the season, it was being like she was the curator of clock every time she'd know when I got somewhere, when I didn't go somewhere.
You know, she so up in your business on what time you arrived. And you know as a as a you were when you see those episodes where it's showing them like you get there the stamp time stamps eight twenty five and she's still getting ready and getting her face, you know for the Halloween thing or whatever that she was singing for, and you left like a let You were there three hours of my.
Life with a pair of child at home. I don't leave my kid. I'm just like, I don't leave the house.
And now that I know that you don't like going out, that's what is hell in a place like that too, where.
Yeah, and I rocked my costume rusted.
Yes, you did, you got, you had good time. You socialize with the other girls like you put the time in, you punched out the clock. She was forty minutes late for the thing, like whatever it was, it was, but so for her to track that when everybody's around her and having their moment and she's clocking where why you weren't there?
It's yeah, well I'm gonna give you more inside Baseball. I'm not gonna tell you who the housewife is, but Derinda told me that, and so did the producers verify it that there's one housewife? This is insane. That would count how many like interview bites I got, which were clearly a lot, and how many like scenes I was in. So Luyn, you know, and there's another housewife, Ramona. This is the other house of Romona. Be always aware of the cameras, like go get the camera guys and get them to come over to what she was doing. I've never done like, never done that, like never done that. So but Luyne, you know, wants me to be there because I was the shiny star on this particular season and then the be is back, so like, you know, maybe if I'm not there it didn't happen, so she wants for her big moment that like I'm gonna be there, so it's gonna make it and whatever. And she's a narcissist, which is why it doesn't matter what time she shows up. She wants us to go to you know, she wants us to like what I think they'd stuff like fat into geese, make like floig gras or like gat goose fat and pigeons or I don't know what this is kind of these birds, you know that they like forest feet or horrible whatever. Like she's flogging us with this fucking cabaret. None of us have ever gone to cabaret our whole life. Now it's like I've never eaten alligator and you're making me eat it five times in a week. Like I'm good. We don't want to go the first time. We don't want to eat alligator five times. Let me the fuck alone. Right.
It's a very niche performance, you know, category it is a there's a you know, it's like people who love going to see unknown comics and things like you know what I mean. There's the cat, there's the cabaret crowd, and I feel like it's very You're.
A great oil for me because you're a great I'm gonna tell you why you'd be my like my Robin, I'll take it. It's like you're saying the same thing. You will not dare speak in the language that I would ever use or in the way, and you won't get in any trouble. But you are perfect. You're the way.
I love it.
She's like producers are dying.
I know.
She's like, yeah, it's an acquired it's not something everybody goes to every day. It's a specific thing. I'm like, nobody fucking watches Gabaret. You're like a great foil for me. You're like Paul, my fiance.
I told you you are fearless. I need more of you in this DNA.
I need that. I need that.
I you know.
I talk about my twenty one year old daughter, who is I like, I long to be as straightforward and cool as she is at.
Something oh interesting, and I want to be My daughter is an angel. She is sweet, she is like earthy, and everyone loves her. She's like that person I have an assistant like that that everyone loves. But she's also like cute and popular and you get away with like also being funny, but like you never get any trouble. My daughter is that she's so sweet, she is the best. But I'm not. So you have your opposite to your daughter. My daughter is more like you. My daughter would never in her whole lifetime speak this right right, Yeah, got a little digs and she'll get them in Christine.
Yes, we know how to we know how to slide those in there.
Yeah. Well not everybody can be a curator, a person who would say curative cock. Okay, So and I am obviously foreshadowing that I will pop off if Luanne acts like a queen Bee in Miami. Well, there's a good foreshadowing in a in an English story.
I mean that is that is the understatement. Yet you hit the nail on the head when you said it earlier about Sonia, Like in those moments, you could if you read between the lines everything that goes on in that you know, and I know that that's really not the episode, but that's the part two of you know when you had dinner that that sort of you know, panic attack, breakdown is not it is so you see it coming from a million miles away, and it's everything.
And I experienced a death and it's ticking up. It's the it's the role of poster. When you just know that thing is gonna fly. You're like tick tick click, click click.
You know it's like that. Yeah, yeah, And it's that. I think that's why nobody, you know, it wasn't like this sort of oh god, what's going on? I mean, it was so clear that it was going to come out. And that was the I think you say it. She was the catalyst. It was there was it. Yeah, there was stuff that had to do with her, but it was everything else, everything else.
Now back to New York being message, this is not my brand ever of humor. And it's funny. I'm in a relationship, it's not it's not my fiance's brand. Like we're not. We don't do like fart humor. Like no, this is the cast that like doesn't mind shitting in their pants in a foreign country and collect wind I.
Put my pants down and peeking in public, and I know it's the line.
It's the it's the you know, peeing and like I once had to go so badly on the way to Atlanta, Saday, I actually had to go on the side of the word I would peede in the car. So those are my choices. But like talking about peeing in a bathtub and and like I'm not in the car, it's not it's it's not for me at all, Like I don't like it, I don't do it, I don't get it. I'm sure I know there's an audience for it, Like I wasn't a big fart man fan, like no, no, no, no, no, I don't know. It's not I don't like anything with regards to the ass and this this cast has has really done some important work. You know, some people cover like SMaL yah, like you know, war in Afghanistan. We've covered diarrhea in Cartiana on the floor. We've covered farting in many different places, peeing in a bathtub and anal and shitting in a bed. So like I'm good, it's that's not lovely, Yeah, yes, really class it's classy. I'm proud to been part of this category, you know, nominated in this category. So yeah, it's it's it's a lot. Tinsley tells Sonya that Ramona and Harry do, but Harry Dubin is really it's just he's the gift that keeps on giving, Like.
I mean even just saying the name the way it rolls off, like as if this is some sort of royalty. You know, it kills me when you when you're you're hearing the name and hearing the name, and then there's a quick flashback and you see Harry Dubin.
Like you, Well, Harry Dubin and Tom have had sex with every woman in New York City. That's a six. They're good at like the middle range women. Like they they're doing a volume business, like a volume desperado ridden, hard and put away, wet, beaten down, divorcee housewive, upper east side bar, like smash and grab salty group like they they they two o'clock in the morning, grab whatever is in sight, stick it in the net, take it, cook it and dump it out the next day. Like that's their model. So there's there's Harry and Tom. We need a dick, which we have a lot of dick. But they're really good on the mediocre model.
And why why is that appealing to Ramona and why like what is the tell me, I'll tell me what the appeal.
Is because they're well. To be honest, Sonya's done a good mid range but I mean Sonya and Laane have done a good mid range business too, not at the same clip and volume. And I love sonya, so please understand that. But like, you know, they've done a lot of the good mid range, like not a hard grab model too. But he's the kicker. There are men that like are marketed as having some money, like Harry's family, Like the parents had some money. I've been to their house, but like it's not trickling down to the kids. And like he's also not the kid that would get it. He's got an older brother that like this is the smart and more successful one of that family. So Harry is like the guy about town with the like sort of half a rich Jewish Upper East Side Hampton's name and goes to the parents' house a lot, and his kids go to the good schools. Probably the parents paid for it. I don't know that. But he makes like a living, but he's not like a baller, you know. So they are big with the thirty year olds who like want you to buy them drinks, and then they're ending up partying with those thirty something year old thirty five year olds, and they range for the thirty something year olds that are impressed by the paycheck and the fifty five to sixty five year old Expire group of ladies. So they got to range. So Tom his last name is Dagasino. It's kind of the same model. Yeah, I think the family has some money. He's not rich rich, like you know rich rich, fuck you riches billionaire. Really rich is several hundred millionaire normal rich rich is like fifty million dollars. Then there's like rich, it's like twenty five. He and Tom probably have a couple of million dollars, like right, maybe, which is rich. But it's like, yeah, it's their ball is soup. It's their fucking hot pot of bullshit soup that we're really going for. And Tom's got the same model, so whatever I just said, it's like the same model like losing the bone house And it's like the top floor of a shitty building in New York City that like has too bads where it's like someone took like a pH from another building and like stuck it on the thirteenth floor. So it's not a bad luck floor. It's the top floor. We're calling it a penthouse. Why not.
Yes, you can paint it anyway you want to know.
We're doing We're going to Palm Beach, but it's not real pomp Beach, tins which is why Tinsley is like is it on island? And it's not.
Even the Kingston House, even the Kingston House, which the way she described it, like, I mean, I was stop Bosta.
I can't let you go any further.
You are not allowed where you said about the kitchen and the guest house where you can be taking I think you said it. You can take ship. You can take a ship in the clay. At the same time, I'm not.
Yes, like, which is why you need to be half a housewife absolutely, because you need to be making ship soup.
We need to make shit soup, my way Ella told me. And she ends up selling that house like, you know, three months later or something like that.
So that's the Tom and Harry of it. We just need a dick, you know. But they're the dicks. So and Harry is a very perfectly nice, you know, nice person, and Tom seems like a perfectly nice person. But that's their brand. And there's a lot of women. It's a volume business. Yeah, it's a lot easier to do that. You know, you could bag fifty of those women in the time of taking a bag one model. So let's go for the volume. Sure, sure, let's eat a lot of shit. That's food, that's their highway highway restaurants. It's it's a lot easier to do that than like go to the cirque.
Absolutely, you nailed it.
I got it.
It's like that. Nothing more needs to be said about it, right, But.
Yes, in fairness to Sonya, she got them when they were a little more in their prime and a little more impressive. Like they probably they didn't have all the kids and all the bills and all this stuff, so like the parents' bank account was more impressive with the young you know, finance job or whatever. Yeah, they're ridden hard and put away wet now too. So that's when like Lunk and Ramona came in with their shovel. So Sonya had them, you know, before this group had you know, they were roadkilled, you know. Yeah. To find a guy who's had sex with you know, three to five housewives, that's a that's a that's an accomplishment, you know, I mean it's happened. That's the thing. A Viva Sonya Ramona Luin four housewives.
Yeah, yeah, it's a lot of cross pollination. I think it's not great. I think it's not great, and I think it's been a three.
You can't right this ship.
No, you really can't. You really can't. I mean that sort of incestuous, like a friend fool. I remember in my twenties we had a group of friends and everybody seemed to when one would break up, the the one would swoop in with a couple of the guys and I was like, that's just kind of disgusting.
Right, this is where the producers always want to blow their water early and they're wrong because they wanted me to pop off about Tom cheating like right when I got there, and they're also up my ass all the time to be there when everyone else gets there. This was perfection. It was perfection for this pot to be simmering on a stove before I walked in. And it's always like, guys, relax, I'm gonna get there. It's all gonna happen.
It's like your kids.
And this is mean if the two producers that were producing this is me that the person that brought not a bravo at the production company, like you were getting all your presents. Just relax, We're gonna open up one box at a time. So now we get there and this is bubbling so nicely.
Oh my god. I mean the timing of it, the timing of it is impeccable. And the way you uh, you sort of come in and and and you hear sounds. I mean it's almost as if And the shot of you walking in too, is almost as if you're entering a room where there is a wild animal, like literally you are.
You are so.
Tentative about what the hell is happening, and it it is all, you know, essentially a version of a wild animal. She's hitting the bathtub with the pants about to come down. She's about to pee in front of everyone.
Yea and his crew. It's shot.
Well, oh it's a shot.
It's very to twelve. And I think I said so, I said, I'm much sure if I want to be like interacting with this group, like I wasn't. I wasn't ready for the group, but you have to be ready, like there's a there's a Donda thing like it may not, it cannot always like I had to get into it. And before I get there, they're watching Sony with the guy's name.
Oh no no, no, oh no, moge pop like and he even says, it's it's Age like Hage right. He says it's Tate and she just keeps calling him rage. She keeps calling him to then she tells and then and then Luamne comes in and says, like, very you.
Know, of course she knows t O s A because I'm sure that was Yeah, that's that's her French, because she's from French Polynesia. She was like, yeah, she makes her own word and with such with such conviction.
That's much conviction, which is always like I that one of my favorite things is always how she's entering a situation after everyone has basically ship on her and everything about her, and she comes.
In so happy with herself in her hat, in herder in jacket, and she is just like hey hey, and it's just it's so brilliantly.
Done, Darling. It fits you a torch obviously whatever she said, Oh yeah, no, Darling, I lived. I did a short tenure in India. It's Sage. You know, I was spent.
I did.
I did an internship and modeling gig on the steps of the taj Mahal. So I know it's Sash.
But the way the shots of the poor guy who is just like I mean defeated, mortified and having to endure it and has signed off what it means.
Oh yeah, of course prayer but like, uh you didn't the staph the staff demoralizing going on in multiple rooms is what's going. It's amazing too, Sonya. It makes a blow job joke to the bald guy Dorinda's you know, it is like boiling her intestines and a martini shaker and telling him, you know, the art of the tail with her bangs flying like it's a beautiful episode. It's a beautiful episode.
It's a beautiful episode.
It's a beautiful episode, and I love what I'm proud of my castmates for, like not all the time is everybody firing on all cylinders and everybody's doing their part, you know, yes, And I now realize why Annie called me the Greek chorus because they're all doing beautiful work and it's just my position on the field. Someone needs to come in and collect this all and crystallize it. And that's where I always was like that, like you need everybody to be doing different things, like it's all happening and Sonya's I mean and on Q like you know, of course everybody is an indentured servant that she has to bring in. And you know, everybody that works everywhere is an unpacker, and and going to organize the closets at home.
That alone made me laugh of like who really ever utilizes the people that are there to help to.
Actually unpack you. The landscaper is also going to organize her shoes. She doesn't care who the fuck they are. Teasure reg it doesn't matter.
Telling him about her outfits and how it's they're gonna show off her boobies and yes, you know it's no, it's it is, it's it is a brilliant episode.
Yes, and more proof that I never there's a whole thing that goes on on like TikTok right now about like room categories and like there's like a hierarchy, and I say, it's total bullshit, because it's about working when you go on these influenza trips and this here, it doesn't matter where. If I'm sleeping in a toilet, it doesn't matter. I'm never gonna be in there. I'm gonna be out there picking up carcasses. I always take the ship room.
I would just say that the room, the room assignments are always a moment unto themselves, like the way everyone has to tour around and it becomes like the so you know, I mean that's the it's it's fascinating.
Because Ramona's under the Ramona is the only person that goes on these trips and thinks she's going in a real vacation. For her, this is like bikini season. I'm going shopping for it. I've packed my bag like I'm packing for my honeymoon. I'm excited and this is a vacation.
And she chose the house and arranged it all and she believes her own mess replaced Yeah, like.
Hundred percent.
She did that.
On the boat, well, I invited you all and I got this boat like a yacht because this is her fantasy to be like in a string bikini and go to Miami because someone else is paying for it, because Ramona's notoriously cheap, so like this is her thing. It's just and I'm going, you know, I could be below deck on one of those boats, like it doesn't matter where we sleep. And they spend hours about agonizing over the world. What are you doing?
Is?
What are you gonna do? Get married? She's own Yeah. On the balcony. You're not gonna be in there. Oh, it's insane. Barbara tells me that that Sonya is blackout already. That's blackout. That to me, that is blackout drunk, that's blackout.
That is as I mean, that's as bad as you see anybody where. And she's talking like a little girl, and she's I mean, she's going into like different it's sort of multiple personalities almost, but she's very lovey. But it's so sloppy and so blackout.
It's very off. And that gives me anxiety. So now they have dinner. Oh, they and the and they get lit before I even get there, Like I'm walking into a thing, and I die. I just have to say this ahead as time I die over really I die.
How long does she hold that for?
And I don't.
Like, Yeah, I die. It's so good. And Sonya makes a good point, she's great point.
Exact, you're exactly right. It's you read between the loudness and the craziness and the whirling dervish that she is in that moment, and everything she's saying is so dead on. And Derinda says that, I mean, she says she she she stands by her she feels like, why do you have to so anyway that I agree with you? There? It's amazing that she can have.
That, you know what I mean? It tracks, and it often does. The gibberish has an undertone that tracks. And Derinda doesn't care about this, this argument that much. But what Dorinda cares deeply about, deeply about is anyonhen anyone thinking they can say to her when she's not gonna talk about something when she's not, or like Dorinda doesn't like to feel caged in any way, she will lash out. It happened in Miami when that guy said something to her and she disagreed with him. Like once she gets put up against a wall in any way, she will unleash like a caged animal irrationally. And here she wasn't that irrational. She was like, you're not gonna fucking tell me what the fuck I'm gonna say, right, And she doesn't like that, like, don't don't tell me what I'm not gonna say, like she she'll get a twelve when she doesn't need to be, because that's her, that's her place of wounding, like ralling her, moving her, controlling as she does, and.
Like that right, right, And she didn't. I mean, I know she was drinking, and I know when you clock in, you you recognize, like it, they're not focused as much on her in that moment, so you don't see her seemingly as drunk as you know. Yes, you know, she seemed more of sound mind as well in that scene. Yeah, you know, she was sort of just taking it all in.
Yes, I go down to the wand's room. Yes, because I just walked into zero Duck thirty as zeroed in, I'm like, okay, oh I got it, and I really didn't get it, like I literally with the glasses you're at dark thirty. I was like, I see Ramona, I see Sonya's drunk, Ramona's wearing macromea or like a crochet. I got it. Like whatever it is, I saw it.
This is familiar to me.
This is a familiar, familiar to me. Ramona is being terrible to some staff member is completely familiar. Then she's bullying Barbara, horrendous, worse than the staff. That's disgusting.
Oh my gosh, that is its own thing. Yes, it's a.
Girl high school disgusting. There's nothing else to say. We both agree.
I know you're judge judge mean elitist.
Yeah, mean you vicious bitch. Mean, So that was terrible. And then yeah, I go to Land's room and I rarely say like, I'm here to talk, not to listen, Like I didn't really care what she had to say. Right, you're holy of the now, shut the fuck up, get off the cabaret stage. She's right, you're wrong, you have no argument. That's where I stand, right.
And you say it very clearly. It's funny because I think it catches her off guard because I think she's here to thinks you're gonna say I'm here to talk, right, but right, and then but and then you just sort of say like I'm here to talk, now to listen, and then oh, oh okay, so she and then that puts her on the defensive as well. And you know, everything you said is right, Like I feel like this has been bubbling through the season of her the cabaret, the cabaret, you know. I mean, it's so many times throughout the season where it's like life is a cabaret. It's not. It comes up in the next episode, but it is. Really you see that this is the precursor. I mean, even though the episode ends on you know the sonya, you know.
Falling your falls, which is I get anxiety, and particularly when if I've had something to drink, which I'm sure I had a little, Like I get anxiety anyway, just like with kids around certain things or you see glass or whatever, that glass table and sonya and just like being drunk and I hit my toe all the time and I get bruises all the time, and I'm just doing it. I knock my head like it just scares me. There's so much alcohol. She's clearly loopy on something and I'm just like just put. The only place I felt that she was safe was go in bed, like I just can't so I'm not going. I can't move until you're secure.
Yeah, And that's it again. That is that is you. That is the you know three are you are the lens through which are the audiences why And it's like you're the one raining it in, Like I feel like you are in that when from the time you come in a bit of like the ring Master of like listen, this is what's got to happen.
But you're I was like screaming like this was so good when it's great, it's so good, like it was when it.
Was great.
It was great. I'm so excited. My producers are like, oh my god, that was amazing. So thank you so much. And I can't wait to meet you. You were amazing, Like I don't know a lot about you, and now you just have a great I just love the way you crystallize things.
Yeah, I mean please, Like I know I don't want to jump on the Elizabeth Moss train, but please, let's find each other.
I would love to find each other. Please.
This was the most fun be ever ever. Adore you. What's Ella? Tell her she's got to meet you. She's got to meet you.
Oh yeah, well, well no, you know what, I'll have you do another episode together.
Oh my god, stop it, let's do that. Ella will take it to the next level.
Okay, well you let's do one with you and your daughter.
Yes, she is, I think she is.
You. I tell her to pick an episode that she thinks is iconic that we haven't done yet, Like, tell her to pick three in case we've done and she could tell you could tell the producers and and tell her one that she like lives form. We'll do that one.
I'm so excited. She's gonna die. She's awesome. This is like Christmas, the greatest Christmas gift you gave me and this in May amazing. Wow, thank you, you're the best. All right, talk to you, Okay, bye bye?
Oh my god. Like that was ridiculous. That was amazing. That was amazing. I was like, I, she's amazing at a great foil as I said, like great, she's not gonna say what fully, but she says it anyway. She's like and like I was, I was in my element today. I was in full tilt like that was me and my element. Like we you know, New York ones are like a little nugget a jam