Meet Kevin Heffernan & Steve Lemme, two fifths of the funniest comedy troupe in America called Broken Lizard! They are responsible for hilarious films such as Beerfest, Super Troopers, Super Troopers 2 and the tv show Tacoma FD. Don’t miss Craig, Kevin and Steve just straight up riffing for an hour, laughs guaranteed, EnJOY!
The Craig Ferguson Fancy Rascal Stand Up Tour continues throughout twenty twenty four. For a full list of dates and tickets, go to the Craig Ferguson Show dot com slash tour. See you out there, the Greig Ferguson Show dot Com slash Tour. My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast is Joy. I talk to interest in people about what brings them happiness. Broken Lizard are an narco terrorist comedy organization that have been a narco terrorize comedy ing for many, many years. They have made such hilarious films as Beer Fest and Supertroopers and Supertroopers Too, and the TV show dot coma FD. Please welcome two fifths of the funniest comedy troop in America, Kevin Heffernan and Steve Lemmy. So we are Mucky Pask got monkey pops. Kevin, you have monkey pokes yesterday? No, No, in the past. I'm gonna have it.
No, Kevin, you're doing something that's great because I was like no, I never answered you to earnestly.
No, I've never had monkey pop. Yes, yes, and he's yes. Yeah. Yeah, come on, he's still because he's still following the rule. Come on, but broken listen were you guys? Were you improv No? Hi, everybody give us the name of a town. No, we were not going.
We did one like we were sketch. But then we we performed.
We tried to do it well. We did a show like we used to at the Duplex.
Where's Christopher Street and Sheridan Square on the West Village, West Village.
Okay, is that is that a gay club? It is? Yeah, it's like a cabaret club. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
And it would be like cabaret shows. It would be downstairs, downstairs, and it would be drag shows like every day of the week, and you would have work tonight.
Did you ever work in drag just to get an extra night? No, nobody.
I think that they took us. They were the only club in New York that would take it. This is the first part we ever performed in right, And I think they took us because it was a bunch of us guys went in there to like see if we could get in there. I think they thought we were a gay sketch group, right, And so they took us and they gave us what three mondays? Yeah, yeah, one day night terrible and uh but we were twenty one and that first show all of our recently graduated college and.
What year was this? This is ninety one one? All right, okay, because I was in New York. But yeah, well just talking. We were talking before about my first ever stand up appearance in America was at the Comic Strip. Yeah on eighty seconds, Well, no eighty seconds, so on second Avenue, I think at eighty seconds, but it's around that. It's a sort of you know, yeah, all mixed together. Let me used to haunt to that area. You grew up there, right, I grew up on East eighty six. Yeah, yeah, all right, that must have been tough. Well the only way to school, like Dorman could attack you, instell the people. Old ladies may come out and give you a snack.
You know.
Let me tell you something, Craig. What I don't appreciate is that you're already on his side.
I'm not on his side. I just happened to know that neighbor I live in that neighborhood. You live there now, Yeah, and it's a rough and tumble neighborhood, New York city has changed a lot to golf the side. Do you know what it used to be called? But still is Yorkville now Yorkville doll that come on, now you're going to far that's just that's just hartful.
Yeah, but true, you know no, not dork fell well, but that was also farther east right, that's whether on the river.
You know where Daniel d Lewis in that movie. That was it started the eighty fourth Street Gang. Yeah, but that was it was still a good neighborhood when that movie was set. Sure there was farmland, yes you did you ever? Do you ever watch that movie? But you know when Daniel de Lewis touches his eye with the knife, yeah, and it clinks. Yeah, it's not it's got a glass eye. Yeah, can you do that if you have a glass you you famously have a glass eye. I do have glass eye. And monkey pocks see see that? Steve say no he didn't. Yeah, but did you you never had to do that? Yes, you guys wrote your stuff down right. Yeah. Yeah, we were terrified of him, but we didn't.
So what I'm saying is like we you know, we performed at the Duplex for a while, but one time. We did a joint show, yeah, with a group called Scared Scriptless.
Right, that was the improv team, an improv group that we were friends with.
I'm already angry. Scared Scriptless was the name of them, already kind of like, yeah, yeah, those guys are listening right now. Yeah, goddamn yeah, they're listening in their dental offices as they're working, like gentlemen. Scared Scriptless, Yeah, but they guy, Hi, Hi, Scared Scriptless. Does anyone have the name of a disease? Yeah, Mockey Fox, Okay, monkey Box in Phoenix. But the thing is, they would have you on stage with them.
And I've done it here where you go to Groundlings or whatever, you do an improv show and they're so much better than you are.
Yeah, there's so much better because they're skilled. That's a different game. Yeah. But's juice, b all that stuff. That's that's real. Yeah, that's it's the improv muscle. You know. We don't have that muscle. But we did.
We did a like a very basic and we were performing for for an audience.
We did like the mad.
Libs version that is funny, where like you tell the story and then you're like and then I went and I saw him behind the and somebody's like dairy queen, and then like you started improvising.
About you know, dairy queen being behind the dairy queens. Yeah, so let's so let's say you're in So let's say you're in a gay club in the West Village and someone shouts dairy queen. So what do you what do you do? Because you don't wanna, you don't want to be offensive, but at the same time, you can't run away from the improv So.
I think you have to start milking, milking, milking, milking dicks.
Right, we went too far? I did? You went too far? See you said, dick, it was too far?
Is that?
I mean? I know that this is a wholesome podcast. Well I don't know if that's necessarily true. Well it should start wholesom, right, because it's about joy. Well joy in the sense that it's you know, you just need it. You don't need to overform these things always like people say, Okay, my my podcast is the five five things that you've used to clip your nails over the years. You just need to lose umbrella. Yeah, it's nice, joy. I mean, it's like like like an Almald Joy. Do you know what I mean? It's like, no big fucking deal. Yeah, you know, it's like maybe there's another and I can't remember. Well, speaking of Nut and Joy, I enjoy saying the word dick. Oh okay, well that seems fair enough. I don't want to get in the way of that. But I don't want to. I don't want to abuse that. I don't want I want to keep it clean. Yeah, I think that. You know, you lose a lot of people when you start with do you guys ever like cause you don't work, you still work live? We haven't done a live show in five years. Say, you guys are really kind of like you work for the corporate we do. We work for you know, the big companies.
Now yeah, no, but since we had this TV show to calm AFT, we hadn't done that's the last time. I think twenty nineteen it was the last live show we did.
We did live shows to promote to com AFT. Yeah. Yeah, but since then we just haven't on the road. That's still going to cool AFT. Uh No, well no, probably not.
Yeah, we got we were on this this joke network, True TV. Have you heard that network? I heard it and they've kind of fallen apart a little bit. But then the show moved over to Netflix.
Like a month ago. You heard him familiar with that, and it's had a really nice new life there. Oh so you got that sweet Netflix, yeah, rebooth thing. Yeah, so it landed there in January. We were like the top ten for like a month and then because you've always brooken, Lizzard always been like the people's comedy, do you know what I mean? It's like because you guys, you even crowdfunded a movie, as I recall we did. We crowdfunded super Troopers too, that's right. Yeah, I figured I think that's the last thame I spoke to you guys, probably Super Tripers that and J I think I spoke to him during the promotional tourism. Yeah, yeah, we raised five million bucks. Croud funded five million bucks. And how much the movie make, I don't know. I mean that was a portion of the thing. But right, we don't get any of that, so so so you used to we just get the accolades, the glory. Well that's still good though. Accolades are good. That don't pay the bills, man, No, I know, you know that's why I don't go That's why I have no accolades. But I just go for cat that is like, oh yeah, joy podcast. Sure, sometimes you learn that. It's like, yeah, hey, how you doing. You don't have a you gotta have a podcast. We do well.
We we had a podcast for a long time and then we started doing the TV show and we stopped. And then when we finished filming the TV show, we did one of those things where that everyone's doing now, where you do the companion piece. You know, you get the episode and you talk about the episode, and so we did that.
I don't care for that. You don't like that, No, I'd like to go deep diving. Yeah, but I don't see. I don't think it is. I was having a conversation with you. There's no not called Kevin Bacon. Yeah. So Kevin Big actually lives in New York. Yeah, yeah, married to a very famous kind of New York royalty, sort of a Kiie s Edgewick family in New York. I think I see him on a farm all time. He's playing like a target was going And so I saw on social media I was on the playing guitarists.
Go.
Kira came and visit me and my wife in Scotland. Oh really yeah, they and he is very common because we live in the country and he he's They're very country people. They know things like he would go, oh, that's a that's a bird over there. I was like, really, well, yeah, and that's a squirrel right there. I was like, you know all the things more than you know. Yeah, shot, I just shoot him, shoot him. But he was talking about that deep dive stuff and we were talking about it. He said, oh yeah, he had a show coming out, and it was quite a serious show. Because Kevin's proper actor. He's not like sure, sure he knows how to do it. He's proper kind of growing up what the hell type actor, you know what I mean, Like, hey, these guys are coming over here. Actor like I have a feeling actor. That was really good, though, the only thing is that's all I can do. I can't do like two sentences, that's fine, but just one.
I can do like half a sentence of Morgan Freeman from Shawshank Redemption.
Oh, let's hear it now. And they said, oh, that's not bad, that's all right. I can't do one. They do free and they do free and do free. I'll see you in Mexico. No, I don't know, you got it. I think you got see I shouldn't have. The first one was good. Yeah, the first one was great. We were all like, Okay, it's happened now. I was talking to Kevin Bacon because he was doing this serious show and he said that the car I can't remember. I think it was Amazon or something that was on. They were making him do all this social media stuff at the time. So it's like he's like a serious scene, but he had he has to do it in real time. So he's tweeting that, oh yeah, that day it was really cold and I we had you know, everyone was snuggled in their trailer. And he's like, my whole job is to try and get people to believe I'm somebody else, and then on the other side of the corner, trying to get me believe that I'm Kevin Bacon playing dress up with my friends, which of course that's that's what acting is. But so I agree with him, you should. It's it ruins the fourth wall, I guess.
I guess, but I think comedy is a little different. And also our job has always or the thing we've always done, is create worlds and environments where it's a bunch of guys hanging out having a good time. Yeah, and the audience you want them to be a part of that audio crowd. I feel like they're hanging out with you, and so I think that that that's why these companion things seem to work well for us, because then it makes pop feel like they're hanging out with you.
Well, the first one I wanted. That's what I like about broken lizzards. I always want to like, I feel like I'm hanging out with you and I and I feel like, not only am I hanging out you, I'm slightly bare than you guys, Like I'm not going to fuck up as much as you guys are, which I think is the appeal of the joy going to make the bad choices. You're going to make the bad choices. I'm going to get okay, guys, I'm going home though.
Yeah, I'll remind you of a story that I'm pretty sure we told the last time we saw you. Was that when we were at the Kevin and I were doing a live show at the Montreal Comedy Festival.
Just for last I'm familiar, Yeah, And we had worked out this increase like eight or nine years ago. Yeah, there's pre to coom after. Yeah.
Yeah, we worked out a terrific routine where he was going to come out and say hello to the audience, and I was going to say it in French. Oh nice, And we had a nice little bit worked out. But before that, we went over to the International House of Comedy which you were hosting, and you and Eddie Izzard came out and did like the best version of it, like he is the exactly the same.
Well Eddie speaks French. I don't exactly well, you know what Eddie was doing. So I found it later on. He was fucking with me, like I was saying, so I don't know if you guys speak French. I was saying stuff, and then he was saying whatever he wanted in French, right to the French Canadian. Seems like that was this guy is idea. See, I don't know why I have to do this. It's a contracted obligation and I'm like, good evening everyone, and welcome to He was just being a dick to me. So it's very funny. We've been friends for a long time and he does speak French.
That that was the bit though, right that you Yeah, you would say something and he would mess it up or whatever, and like or you you know, and that the bit that we had was the same exact one, and you guys started doing it on the stage, and we were sitting at each other and when we're with your our mutual friend Phil Cotone, and we looked at each other like, holy shit, we're doing this exact same bit an hour from now in another place.
But you could still do do you did you do it? Yeah, of course you did, because it's not going to be the same modeo. It's not going to leave it because I think we were still on stage when you were sure it started though we were in like the.
And we were also like the Wrath Skellar or something. There's something like heavy metal Dungeon. There were skulls on the wall.
Of piercing. For me, that Montreal was better when you did that. Yeah, Like when I started, I started out in Montreal after the coming of the Montreal but Montreal I back then, I was really kind of they had an underground kind of vibe. It was really kind of cool. Yeah, when did you guys, When did you guys first get together?
When when was we went to college together? When college at Colgate University in upstate New York. And that was in the late eighties, and then we moved. We started comedy group there, right, and we you know, we.
Just it still is it's like five guys, right, it was then now it is.
Then it was like twelve people or something, right, and then people you know obviously attrition.
Yeah, it's like you know these things that.
Yeah, you can't hit make an almelet without breaking, Well you killed.
Isn't that what you were talking about? I thought I thought maybe it was like you know, I thought maybe it was just like age, but no, you're talking about you know, two men enter one man. Yeah, this thing, this was serious. But it was always just dudes. It was almost associated. No, we had we had we had women. Oh yeah, but then they I guess they get tired of us or something.
We had people quit because we had people write us letters that they were quitting because of how immature we were. Yeah, Like we had one guy who quit. He's like, you guys and your mom jokes. You give me a headache for every show, and I can't be with you anymore.
He couldn't handle the mom jokes. That doesn't sound like someone that's got a career in comedy ahead of them, probably, Yeah, I mean because the best even if you don't like someone else's jokes, shut up, Yeah, because you know they might have a show in a couple of years and then they'll say, hey, what happened to let's get him on to play the car? Yeah, you want to be in a movie? Yeah? That was That was it, Jordan, it was. Yeah, that's quite a long time for you guys to be Like, so the five that are in the Broken Lezard all still original members, right, that's a long time for guys to be friends a long time? Yeah, yeah, I mean are you friends of your Is it kind of like the Rolling Stones? You just get together for work and then because I don't believe until I saw you Steve today, I side when you were driving in I don't believe I've ever talked to both of you guys like separately. I always see you together. I guess that's true. Ye. Yeah, we travel on packs. Yeah, we're a husband and wife team. Yeah, so you know, we got sick.
We talk about this all the time. Like, you know, have you ever toured with well, you've toured with an opener right that you like?
Oh? Sure?
We like on Thursdays when we would go to cities, we'd be walking together in the airport and you know, eating a meal together and go out to dinner that night. You know, everything's great my Sunday, Like we're like fifty feet apart.
I think that's healthy. Yeah, I think that's good. I mean, it's like understand and also I think over time you can get past the first It's like marriage. You get pasted the first twenty years. You'll be all right, yeah, you know after that.
But now all guys have their own families and whatever. Yeah, so now it iss we come together and not just for work. I mean we'll come together for so and you know, I think that's fun stuff and you know.
But but I mean, given the fact that you guys have been through the economic ups and downs of a career in show business, like you didn't like form the Apple Company and then Yoko Ono and you don't have all that or maybe you did, No, I mean I guess we didn't. Thats about yes, and oh you were there. There's a Yokana. Yeah. I was about to ask anthem, I've lost it. Yeah, okay, but did Yoko ever get involved with No?
No, no, and we've never had a Yoko Ono figure, right, and we've had an.
Oh joke on that's good, that's okay, that's I think it's maybe a rite down. I should go now, I should leave it is you know it's going to be done? How from some mid level joe.
Well no, but at the improv clubs, that's when they would, you know, turn off the lights.
The show's over that one and like a the Craik Ferguson Fancy radscal stand up to He continues throughout the United States in twenty twenty four. For a full list of dates and tickets, go to the Craik Ferguson show dot com slash tour. See you out there? Do you go and see comedy you like other comedy trips? Was it? Was there a thing where you're like, oh, we want to be like Python, or we want to be like I don't be the other comedy troop. At the time, it was.
So, I mean we watched Python Weird Kids, right, So definitely, I think maybe our says it's a humor.
We're formed that way. I think everybody who's walk in the earth now is formed by Python, is like, yeah, it's like a game changer. It's like I don't know, Pythagoras or something. It's like a whole says it's the bar.
Yeah, but I think that was the inspiration film wise, like I think, you know, you know, they were obviously guys who were comedy group who made films. Yeah, and you know, I think a lot of the comedy groups aspired to you know, TV shows and things like that, but we definitely the TV no they were yeh yeah, yeah, but I mean I think, you know, we we were in the film world we grew up with.
Like also like early SNL, which to me was a big thing because that was like my sister was watching that. I wasn't old enough to watch it yet, but I would sneak sneak out after my parents went to bed. I would catch the last half hour and it was like that first season as well as early seasons they were doing like experimental stuff yeah was on there, and.
The wave of stuff and stuff like that. Yeah. I mean, once the once the eye of the corporate borg looks on you, you're not going to do that anyway. Yeah, I know that from some experience late like I had Magic Week and all that shit. The yeah, you know, I haven't magic.
At some point they stopped yet when we were when we were starting out doing sketch Comedy New York City in ninety onety two, it was like it was kids in.
The hall, like they were yeah, they were great. Yeah, And I think it was HBO they had the show.
And they came through town and we were they were CBS kids though they went then they started to went to CBS, they went to HBO the other way, right, I can't remember. Yeah, they were definitely on CBS for a while. Yeah, well they were you know, CBC or whatever. They were Cannon for a while and then and then yeah, Michael's brought them.
We saw them live at the like the bottom line, bottom line, that's the bottom line, and then like maybe the Beacon Yeah.
At the Beacony something too. But that was a big thing for us, I mean, you know.
And then we want to see that was us going to see like these are the guys doing what we are now trying to do the big.
And there are a few different groups in New York at our level, I think, you know, like the State guys, the State are kind of contemporaries of yours, right, Yeah, they were at NYU. You know, I think at the same time that we were performing in the village or whatever, and we went up. There was at some at one point where the three or four kind of sketch groups in the same food group were went up for like some MTV.
You know who got the gig on TV and they got that gig. Yeah, it's funny because the state. I'm very good friends with Tom Land in the state, and I always thought of the state a Tom get out of me for saying this, But I think of the state. No that that's not true, but I think of the state as being kind of the kind of middle class one, and I think of you guys being a little more blue collar. But since you grew up in Yorkville, Steve, I'm beginning to I don't know. I'm like, I don't know, I think that's true.
I think we were probably a little more fratty, like frat guy.
Probably, yeah, a little more make a movie exactly. We were more perceived that way. Was I going to be in beer fest at one point? Do you remember that what beer feest? I seem to remember somebody I would like some It was like it was before I met you guys. But somebody had come to me for to do beer Fest and I wanted to do it. I couldn't do it. Oh yes, I think that's true. That's that's absolutely right. Yeah, It's like I was doing Late Night and I couldn't get it. Well, you guys were shooting in Atlanta or some of that, or where did you show? We shot in Albuquerque. Yeah, far same away from from CBS in in West Hollywood. But I remember that. Yeah, I remember that being around and I was like that might be coming. It would be you'd be on the Scottish team. Yeah. Was there a Scottish team? Was that what it was? We had? The British team was the biggest.
There was a Scottish team because they were in they were in kilts Yeah yeah, yeah.
But they were relegated to background. Yeah, well get Craig Ferguson. Yeah, that's right. Doing Craig Ferguson. I'd be like, wait, wait a minute, guys, I mean I've come all the way from CBF that cou'd be the background, like shrinking back here? Yeah, you doing the throw them up front?
Yeah, I will say you know, uh see, this is something we discussed on the show Takhoma FD which is our after.
Oh so you the Tacoma from Taco End of the Week. The comedy Club. That's that's a great club, is it? Have you been there? No, No, I'll beat it's a coma, But I've never done that club. We excellent. That's one of the places.
I think that's where we kind of killed the idea for the show because we were we were batting around this firefighter show and which we put it, and it was just raining the whole time up there wouldn't be funny to put a firefighter showing the rainiest town in America. And then because we were doing that Tacoma Comedy Club, you're right, and then we would go back there afterwards after the show came.
Out, and it would just be phenomenal. Because I've got an idea for a shool right now into Cooma, Okay, Tacoma p d Okay okay. And what it is is that I'm a private detective, private detect in Tacoma in the rain, and I came and I came from Glasgow because I didn't like the rain and I heard the America it had better weather, and I ended up in Tacoma, Okay. I actually just as I say this, because I'm just like digging around them, like sexually pretty good story, that story. Yeah, all right, so we genuinely said because maybe I don't uh No, it's like and then the price and then the puppy died. Yeah, No, it's nothing like that. No, it's not that.
Well, it depends so like we had and I've never told the story publicly before.
So we shot season three.
We shot during like prime COVID time, and that was like, you know, all the protocols.
We were one of the first shows to go, and they were like bad time. You're going to be doing the Q tip every day.
Yeah, guest stars and every crew members got two masks and all that stuff and so and we made it a pretty long way now.
Like five months. Yeah.
So along the way, we had uh we had started talking to the network about doing Tacoma p D spinoff show. Yeah, extend expanding the universe, right, And there was you know, because we had a group of local cops in the show that are our nemeses. But the day we were shooting, one of those actors who they loved, turns out he had COVID and he gave him COVID and number.
One in a call sheet. Man. Oh geez. And then they got COVID and everything and everything shut down for hello, ten days or two weeks? Whatever? Did you were you vaccinated? It was pre vax, So this is like I go to pre vax as well. It was Harley.
Well, yeah, it's crazy because you didn't know. You would just sit in like a dark room and you weren't sure.
If you died. Yeah, you know what I mean. But then remember that if they used to say it like after ten days you also might die. You start to feel better, then you.
Might die, and like you know, my kids and my wife, nobody would go near me. You know, nobody knew it was gonna happen. So you just sat in a room and waited.
Yeah, and I had to quarantine because I was in the room with you and him, and I didn't get it, but I had The construction crew came and built a wall for me in my house.
Really yeah, and then my dad slide fucking the door. Madness. It was mad, wasn't that madness? Just mad, like fucking fool on. Yeah, I mean it's crazy. I was in the UK when it happened, and like the lockdown was crazy. Yeah, like you couldn't go out like you walked out. It was like remember that Will Smith movie before he got Punchy when he did that im po. Yeah, that's what it was like in Scotland. He said, you know, exaid it was right now, but it was like I was there, you just it was so quiet and crazy and scary. Yeah. But then I go to Anyway.
Yeah, so the network said, I pitched the idea of to CoA PD and they were like, yeah, let's do it. Oh great, And then this actor got COVID shut down the set for two weeks and I said, is this a bad time to keep discussing Tacoma And they were like yeah, fuck that, it's over and they killed it just because of the COVID.
Because that guy got COVID to me, you know, now we can bring it back. Yeah, Like I'm willing to go into Tacoma PD where me is the private takes from Scotland as a co production with Broken Lives. I think this is a real idea. I'm seriously, this is a serious, real idea that I think we're having right now. Like detective from Scotland like retires from the police force, does his twenty right, Yeah, retires from police once a quiet life. But you know, how bad can it be in Tacoma. It's a quiet town. It's probably got really nice weather. It's in America, right, And he goes there and it's like it's a rough town and it's raining all the time.
But is the joke that because you're coming from Scotland you actually think the weather's great in Tacoma.
Well, it's got to be better in America. It's got to be America. American weather. It's nice. It's like, you know, it's like sun sun sun in California, but you's on the West Coast. It's going to be like beach boys and all that.
You're out there in the rain at your Hawaiian shirt, Hawaiian shole car.
Yeah, convertible, definitely a le baron because you don't want to break the bank, so you get an old le baron. Yeah, sunglasses. Right. It's so kind of like it's like he thinks he's going to be like magnum p I, right, but he's drenched. Yeah yeah mind he mind wait mine because you think this is rain, this isn't rain. Yeah, yeah's not Scotland. This is missed right, all right, we got I think this is okay, we got it. I think this is good. Yeah. So this podcast forms a contract between us bound. We're bound, but we're yeah, yeah, we're we are now together, so we should probably discuss financial Okay, okay, we can do that. I actually I'm not kidding. I think this would work. That's pretty good.
It's very funny because what we talked about too, is that we would flip it so that the firefighters are just the nemeses.
You guys are the heroes of the show and we are the bad guys. Well, I think if you go into the universe, like the fire Department are there, So you guys are producers of this show, and if you feel like coming in and going all right, we're going to do like three episodes, right right, right, we can. Yeah, but then you just make producer money and.
I'll just go and do the job, right Yeah, okay, sweet, I think it's a good package.
Yeah, let me all right. Would you want to shoot in Tacoma or do you want to shoot somewhere else? That's a that's a tax question, welcome, because we shoot our show in La Yeah, and we're constantly erasing palm trees out of the well that sounds and also who's seven fifty? Who the hell can work in California?
Well except that accept that living for me, it would take me one song to get to.
The set, all right, okay, which yeah.
You know It's like when I would hear actors throwing tantrums about like the locations and how they don't want to leave home. I was always like, Oh, they're Prima Donna. Until I had kids. Yeah, that's different.
That's why I took Late Night because kids my first son was born. Oh really yeah, Like because I was I was a job. I needed something that was going to keep me in town. Yeah. And then this thing about that Craig Kilbourne is leaving the Late Night Show. I was like, do you want to try out for it? And I'm like, actually, it's it's in town all the time. They're like yeah. I'm like, okay, did you have to go up against a bunch of people? Oh yeah, yeah, one of them from the state, michaeleam Black. Oh yeah, he nearly got I think I actually think funny guy. He's very funny guy. I actually think he would have been a better choice. But you know, no, come on, oh no, I think so I agree, Yeah, No, I think I agree. He's very funny guy. He would he would be very smart, he's very he would have done a very good show, I think.
Yeah, but you guys bring a different thing to it, Like he would have had more of that like kind of smarmy, snarky young guy energy.
Yeah. You so you're saying, I'm an affable grandpa. You had, you had a more virtually gray.
You know, a regal, dignified presence. Sure, you know, like like you could have like he couldn't have like politicians on the show, right, No, he couldn't keep up.
With he could you could, Well, I didn't really have that many politicians. And the things about politicians is they're they're kind of like they're not good at him, right, They don't understand. They just stay on message. Somebody teaches them that there's some kind of media training out there and they and they say, I don't know what it's like, they say, stay on message. And it was like, so I'm going to be a douchebag from when I began until it doesn't matter what political party read, stay on message, and so you can't talk to them. They just come out and fucking yell.
But that's that's when you have the skeletons start talking to me.
Did you notice that there was a love I didn't have? I still have this. There were two skeletons. I don't want to you know? Really? Yeah? Where are they both in my house in Scotland?
Oh?
Really? Yeah? Did you? What do you do? Like? Put them in a box and cinemore? I put they sit in a room and we have little tea parties together. The scale of the first class airplane seat, No, see, I don't buy first class. I buy a coach, but I buy a coach for the scalton next to me, and then I don't have to go for the middle seat. Okay, yeah, so it's all good. Didn't we fly someplace first class recently?
We did, and one of the brook Miners got bumped out of first class and.
That's a no fly situation for me. Well, here's say you're bumped at a first class I'm saying, I'm sorry.
Here's the funny thing was, then we walked through first class and there's a cello player, and the cello player had bought the first class seat, so he's sitting in one seat and next to him in first class is his cello in the seat, But.
It did look like a big giant head. It was like an eight foot tall person sitting there.
The way as you do is paint a face on top of the cello so it looks like a big person and then you can shame them for taking the seat. But got bumped out of first class for the cello, but he still had through the curtain. He could still make direct eye contact with the cello. Right, you get free drinks. Was that a long Yeah it was. It was nearl A. No, No, it was Chicago. That's a lot. That's that's that's long enough to want to be in. Yeah, I don't know. I think the cello is quite sexy instrument.
It's sexy. And when you see it sitting in a first class seat, there's in a white case.
Oh wow, that's that guy's flex. You think, well, that's that guy trying to like get some action, you know, like.
A pet dog. Because immediately you're like, no, it's like the guy in Starbucks with a pirate on his shoulder, you know what I mean. It's the same, or a big lizard or something. It's like yeah, oh yeah, sorry, you want to talk to me. Sure, go ahead and talk to me. Will have the the brisket brisk But you know, you're immediately who is that guy? Who's that guy Yoyoma? It might be Yoyoma. It's not Yoyoma, it's not but he's because Yoyoma is too cool for that is like, yeah, my cello flies private.
Yeah yeah, yeah, no this but we were, you know, we were trying to peek and take pictures of the guy and then like we were looking like googling who's what cello players playing in Chicago.
It's probably just like that's a whole world though, that classical music world, Like there are giant stars in that world. You never know, you never know. It's it's kind of like now with your kids, right, they have like they have you two people or whatever it is, or you know, they want to go and see people that are performing in a stadium and you're like, who is this Yeah, and it's like, oh, he's the biggest influencer slash anime star. Yeah, you've ever seen like there's a there's a hologram thing. Now have you seen this? Now? My son want to see this hologram? How old are your kids? Twenty three? Or twenty two and thirteen. Because Scottish people, the way we breed is like these orchids in the jungle. So every ten years, a Scottish person goes and anywhere you know, a Scottish man goes, and anyone in a kind of like five twenty five gets pregnant. Yeah, okay, that's how we do it, only every ten years, caause it takes you ten years to regenerate, right, It just it builds up in your well. You have to fill in your pretenda and what is it?
That's that's a nice way of saying that nat that's flower Genitalia.
Is it pedenda? Yeah, flower Genitalia. I thought it was an Italian meal that it's also that. Yeah, I'll have the pedenda, yeah exactly. Yeah. But it's kind of a homophone, right, homophone. Homophone? What is a homophone again? It's a phood where you tell friends.
Yeah, so your kid went to see something, Your thirteen year old kid went to go see a hologram.
No, it's just when my twenty two year old was about seventeen or something, it was like it's like a touring thing. We could probably google it. It was like a touring thing. Where you go and see this Japanese performer, but there actually isn't it. It's a hologram, so they're not really there, but there's but there's songs and stuff. But Abba are doing that now Aber on tour. But hologram. Yeahlo, it's holograms. It's a big thing in London and the O two in London. You can go and see Abba like they wear back in the day, but it's hologround.
So it's like a it's a broadcast of an old thing, or they're sitting somewhere fighting somewhere in their generation.
It's holograms of them when they were young and in their prime, and the music is there and it's like they're on the stage performing for you. You see.
I thought using iPhone or something, I thought it was gonna be like they're in a studio in Sweden.
Nope, and they're putting on a show. No, No, this is completely generated and that they're just taking the money, just cashing checks. We should do that, We should do a Broken Lizard show that way. Guess I don't know, I don't know. I know Elvis is appearing in London pretty soon. Yeah, No, he's Elvis is going to be doing hologram shows in London down on the lobby of this building. There's an advertisement for it. Oh really, well that's probably that's crazy. Yeah, so Elvis, you know we'll be going back to Vegas. Oh yeah, young Elvis or Hefty Elving. For me, I would go I would go Hafty because I feel like that where I enjoyed it. Yeah. That Elvis was only forty two and he died. I know. Crazy. It's weird saying, isn't it. It's weird even think about that. Yeah. And Wilford Brimley was only forty nine when he.
Filmed Cocoon Man, playing a grandfather who's been put out the pastor Yeah, he's forty nine years old.
No. I had Wilford Brimley on the old Late Day Show. Yeah, and I have to say, uh, he's pretty impressive slash scary guy. What was he like? Funny? Did he engage? Yeah, he's funny, but he was kind of like frightening, frightening tough grandpa, like he'd like someone had been in the Second World War and see in action. But you know, I still had a bit of a sense of humor. Okay, Well, he's been a grandpa for forty years. Yeah, he's been a grandpa really easily since he was forty nine.
It's sometimes hard to get those guys to, you know, open up a little fun, you know what I mean.
Yeah, well that's true. But he did a little bit. I think he had to travel in from Montana or something. Okay, he lives it. Was he promoting something? No, No, he wasn't doing anything. He I kind of I did a campaign to get him on because I saw I saw this, uh, this drag queen in San Francisco who looked like Wili Brimley and was wearing stack heels and hot pants and but but otherwise looked like Will for Brimley, and I was like, wow, is that Will for Brimley? And then we started the whole thing is is it? Isn't it? And then he came on the show to and dispute the did.
You have the the person from San Francisco too?
At the same time, I did know which was wrong. I should have needed me there, Yeah, I should have. You know, it's a mess. I came up with the idea for Tacoma Private Detect that's true. That's true. Well, I didn't come up with the idea. But no, you you said that's true, so legally that is true. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, I'm just yes, standing and it's cruise me. You just contracted it just because holy ship. And he's a lawyer. You know he's a lawyer. Are you a lawyer? Really? Yeah? Do you actually go you go through the contracts and stuff for the But I mean we pay someone to do that. I do it for fun. The only time he ever actually should have done it for us.
We got screwed, we got loopholed, and we were like, what he didn't you catch he passed the barn two states?
And did you passed the barn in California? New York? That's New York, New York? Is there? Yeah? I did all right, first time though, first try, first try. That's great, pretty good that that's pretty good, So not just some beer swilling. I long ago dispensed with the idea that you guys were actually who you actually were, you know, I mean it's like, oh, yeah, they're just gonna are they.
Yeah. I dropped out of college my senior year because I got drunk and kicked through a glass door.
He is that consevered my achilles tendon really. Yeah, so you couldn't walk and you had to do comedy. Yeah, yeah, that's it. It drove me to comedy with my kids. What were you what were you studying? A couple? You study in law. I was a fine arts major. I was a painter. Oh see, I like my wife was a fine art dealer in New York. I love all that stuff. Yeah, he's just doing it to get girls. Well, yeah, like he did it. Do you ever check out my painting? Do you have? Do you collect art? I don't make art. You make it comic art. Fart jokes, you do fart jokes. Yeah, in the style of Matisse and stuff like that. Metis style fart jokes I liked.
I liked point to, point to Yeah, okay, told me through, which is like like Monette and Maynet, Like it's like a little.
All those little dotty pointy things.
Yeah okay, Yeah, so that was what I was experimenting with at the time of my dropout.
So you were an experimental painter and he ended up broken Lezard. Yeah dude, that's okay. That's that shows your adaptable and it's the adaptable that survived. Well.
The thing was, so my junior year is when we started, Uh, broken Lizard Chart Goosebeak was the name of that group.
Charge Goose Peak Chart Goose Oh, Charred Goose Peak. Okay, that's a little. I feel that's a little.
It's like wacky College is the quirky college guys, Charret gooseb It wasn't a pun at least, you know.
It wasn't. Yeah, it wasn't Scared script Yeah, yeah, that's what I were still angry of him when I see those guys. Oh, but one.
Of the girls in Scared Scriptless was a phone sex girl.
Oh. I worked with a couple of girls that did that in New York. Yeah, it was I think it was kind of a good job for actresses in New York back in the day, in the nineties. Yeah, because there was these phone lines. I think it was like an only funds but audio, right audio.
They didn't call and charge like they're fully dressed. She just had a very sexy voice. Yeah and yeah, I mean she probably had to say some lewde things and hear of she Yeah, but she was making a lot of money. Yeah.
I remember I worked with a couple of actresses who who had supplemented their income with that. They were like, it's hilarious. You know you're sitting with like smoke cigarette your robe. Oh baby, I thought, you know that's improv Yeah, that's you know it is. That's right, and fair play of them for doing it. I'm like, yeah, that's great. I would have done it. Yeah, yeah, but you could have done it maybe with a Scottish Yeah you could not. Now I don't Yeah, no, no, I'm too affable, Grandpa send it. I don't have too dignified.
Dignified, But did you, like, did you ever do like a uh, like one of those sleepy time books on tape that like silly and Murphy does.
No, But you know what I did, like a lot of I just did like Matthew mcconey doesn't know that it's like it's time to go to sleep. It's got a like white noise type. Yeah. I listened to them too, But I what I do you listen to that? I listened to Right now, I'm listening to Dan Stevens okay tailing an Agatha Christie book and like I have to put the timer on the phone for like fifteen minutes. I go, I'll have a bit. I'm asleep, and the phone shut it so off. After fifty minutes, I sleep like it's like it is absolutely arrowin to me.
Do you think, okay, so American versus UK, because I like, I don't think there's an American who could make me fall asleep, but I would have to think that, like.
Oh, Morgan Freeman, oh yeah, yeah yeah, or or Matthew McConaughey. Even, do you know what? I heard a great joke yesterday. Okay, and I don't want to do this. I can talk about Dan Stevens. Well, we can get back to Dan Stephens. But I heard a joke.
It's Bradley Cooper, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConney.
He decided they're going to make a movie together.
And Bradley Cooper's like, I'll direct, and Leo's like, I'll act, and Matthew McConney says, I'll ride, I'll write, I'll ride.
They see what he did. That's the joke. That's the joke. I talk about Dan, So that Stevens, we get to the yeah talking about Abby right, right, Dan Steve was even doing that? Yeah, was in that great Will Ferrell. Oh my god, he's so funny in that movie. The European European Eurovision Eurovision.
That's like one of the most underrated movies fast. Like I watched that with my family and then we watched it again, like ye like funny, funny it is.
It is Ricky Balby level funny totally. And then Stance he was the bad guy.
Yeah, and he played a Russian guy and he's hysterically he is and I'm like.
Fantastic downn Abby guy.
I like, yeah, he was like the lead dude and like he died at the end of the first season because he wanted to get out of his contract. Oh, like he drove his car into a tree or something like that.
But the season yeah, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I I doubt Nabby coming. Oh no, you see the thing is I watched it because I'm married to I did too, But then I loved it. You didn't try. I didn't get into it, but I think it was the second to third season. Yeah, my wife loved it and I got into it. And then we went and saw the movies and the movie theaters and.
Did you see the one where they uh, they come and make a Hollywood movie stopped?
I think that jumped the shark and they made really like the second movie they came out with, it was a movie from Hollywood and coming to film at the cast. I believe they're making another one where Scooby doing the Gang? Is that right? The Gang turn out that. I would see that one. I would see that. I will see that. They eventually did the deal with Matthew Lillard, so they're going they Shaggy and they're going to do Stevens comes back as a ghost. Yeah, you know, he's haunting that. I got more money than the amazing Yeah, it's going to be great.
By the way, if that, if the producers of Downton Abbey were smart, they would.
Go ahead and do that. They're definitely smart.
Smart, they're errud right, Like they come across as a person who puts.
In the slow It's it's the British thing, isn't it. They smart because they're British, but they're not really Yeah, yeah, no, I've come across that in my life many times. Well, I really think this is going to be mindless.
It's like anyone with an Australian accent. You think they're tough, but yeah tough tough now and you know, yeah, they're pretty tough some of them. Yeah, their head buddy or I think wasn't he Norwegian? Well but the guy who plays him, Hemsworth? Oh right, yeah, yeah he's pretty.
He's tough and big Yeah, big, big, big tough Australia. Yeah scared. I feel kind of excited.
Yeah, I feel like all off Seas are like they're a head buddy crew you.
Know that guy like you ever spend any time out there? Yeah? I kind of liked it. I thought it was I loved it. But Scotland is the same. Don't you think it's warm whaler Scotland? Yeah, I think you're right, yeah, vibe. It's got a kind of they're friendly, but they're you know, they do drink, so things get unpredictable later the Yeah. Yeah, when you're hanging out at the slot or lamb. Yeah, that's right. Stick to the pus, Yeah, stick to the pus.
We did a cold open of tacombe Ft this final season where he had played too uh two Scottish Highland Highlanders in blue makeup, did a Scottish accent.
How did that go? Well?
Like we I found out that there were certain like words that you could say that would get you into the Scottish accent.
Fair enough, let's hear them you and not bad, not bad at all.
That was my trigger word where it would get you in.
He wears flipp and skinning. Okay, what about that? Yeah it's not bad. It's okay, it's a little bit, but it's a little bit like his earlier Morgan Freeman, had you stayed just a little, Yeah, but but then you moved on. I mean, okay, it's not an easy accent, especially to a Scottish pairs. Hold on, let me, let me go, let me go. I had two phrases. One of them is it's footing great. I love that.
It's fucking great, I thought, and.
There are you to have your mind. That's a good Scottish woman. That was like my mother, the mom I'd like to go into show business.
Jesus, we should talk to America to become a late night talk show host.
You're mad, you'll be back here in a year's time. What happened my first year in late night I had Riza on the show from the Wu Tang Clan. Yeah, and my mom was on at the same time. So I said to reside, you do love comedy bit drive around l a and take my mom to some places that's funny, and he did. He took my mom to Roscoe's Chicken and water. Yeah, and they had taken a while and they gone really well. I mean, my mom was a nice woman and this is really cool, and he was like, yeah, it was Finally took her in his fucking bowler Mercedes around La and ah, that's funny. But they kind of kept in touch and then my mom my mom later on, like years, A couple of years later, Wu Tang We're doing a big show in Scotland, and my mom called me and said, I'm just trying to get in touch with Reza and I'm like, why, mo, Well, I noticed that Wu Tang are playing. Yeah, I thought I would take the ladies from Athritis. I was like, okay, but I don't know if the ladies we ride to scare are going to love, uh love the show they I don't know. Was she familiar with his music or she just liked them as I like what she was going to get into right group. I think she knew that it was, you know, it was a type of music. She perhaps wasn't familiar with that, but like, I'm guessing with your guys parents. I don't know if you guys were in showbiz family, I wasn't, no, no, no, not at all. So when I love show business, my mother just was like, I guess that's a world I don't understand, but yeah, might be okay with it.
They were totally loved they every interaction they had, they loved it. You know, they would make friends with people. We had the story about Linda Carter, my dad and Linda Carter was in super Troopers, old super Troopers movies, and then I did a couple of other movies with her. I did it called Sky High, Duke sat He.
Became friendly with Linda Carter wonder Woman, Yeah.
And and so legendary, legendary and also you know, like you know one of the you know, known.
To be the heart throb of you know, the seventies or and Catherine ba. Yeah.
It was at the same era we were shooting super Troopers too. We were in Massachusetts and uh, we had a day off or whatever, and we're eating lunch in the hotel. My parents came to visit, or we had wrapped or whatever, and I was eating dinner with my parents and Linda came into the hotel restaurant and sat down at the table with us, and we were just chatting and and and she, you know, chatting with my parents and my dad, you know, was chatting or whatever. And as my dad was eating hit a hamburger and fries and and Linda was sitting as my dad, and she just reached over and she like.
Plucked the fry off his plate and ate it. And he freaked out. He like got like totally rattled. And after she I said, what's up?
And he goes, Linda Carters d a French ry off my plate, you know, and he thought that was the greatest thing in the world.
If she did done it to my daddy, either go angry. He would get you to Linda with a y maby that's Linda Carter. Yeah, but you know, get your to in chips, don't touch mind as like out of spake, get you know, jepsy and your mom was like, she picks the French fry off? Yeah all right, Well no, look see we're done here. Now. I was going to ask you a stuff I've forgot and we started riffing on ship. Well, but we did come up with the idea for the show, which I think we have that show. Yeah, so let's get on to that. I think it's pitching time.
Okay, uh, we go out there, Yeah, I think so we've pitched together before for sure.
Yeah, like what didn't we pitch a TV show? Yeah, we pitched ball guys? Oh guy, and he's the guy with the hair. I was the guy. He was in the room with us. Yeah, he was going to be Cale Forysting. Yeah, he was Kale the good haired guy. Yeah, good hair guy. Did that show ever get made? No? No, No one thought it was like a sketch. Yeah. The show was about a bunch of ball guys and the bad guy is the guy who has hair, and that was here. Yeah, it might be a sketch. To be fair, it could be.
Yeah, I mean let's let's I think you ended up firing your manager over that show. Yeah, that was one of the shows that you felt like your management wasn't getting behind.
I don't think people know, like people who are not sure, but I don't think they know how many things get pitched don't happen. Oh god, I mean it's like, oh, i'd say even higher.
Yeah.
Probably. It's like like it's baseball numbers. You had one in ten year Hall of Fame. You know, it's like it's unbelievable. This idea was gold. This idea was gold. I think it was Phil Cator involved was involved.
I remember it was a fun pitch, like we were in the room a little bit bets and laughs.
Why did you agree to do it? How did we get it? It was film fell from Phil. He was like, you want to do a broken listen. I'm like, yeah, I still feel bad, but and it just do the BOK. But I think third time lucky the Tacoma probably Detective from Scotland. Now it is p D private to take and I think that the real PD would be like, you can't use p D and we were like, yeah I can. It's America, Yeah I can use PD. Have good will there we have good I will tell you this and he knows this is true.
This is on the list of TV shows that we you know, we have a creative document with all the stuff that we have lined up.
Right one of the shows is based on this cold open.
We had such a good time playing Scottish Highlands right back in like the fourteen hundreds of the twelve hundreds, right that we're like, you know, there's like that there's a Viking show out now, and then there's like, you know what we're doing the shadows.
There are all these like period pieces up for a bed. Thanks, fun, We we really do want to do a Scottish highlander show. Yeah, because she'd been on that. Yeah, for sure, I'll be all over there. He could be technical consultant and I know I think i'd be looking for more than that. Oh really, yeah, i'd be looking for that would be so as a woman, Yeah, no, older woman. No, No, that's the thing I'll say.
I loved at a very tough but with kreaky voice, the toughest guy with the toughest guy, and they were like, oh no, he'll come as big Alec Holleen, it's time to fight that.
That'd be great if you became if you became the tagline guy with like T shirts that are you out of your mind? Yeah, yeah, it's all good. Well we're good at the milling is the f