Joy, a Podcast. Hosted by Craig FergusonOriginally released August 1st, 2023
The first episode of Craig Ferguson’s brand new podcast “JOY” brings you a conversation with one of the biggest comedians in the world: the legendary Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias! Craig and Fluffy discuss what it’s like performing stand-up in a stadium, Fluffy’s collection of vintage Volkswagen vans, and how it is for him to still be living in his home town of Long Beach, CA after becoming a household name. enJOY!
Hello, mydeas. The Joy podcast will be taking the holidays off. I hope you can too and have a lovely time however you like to spend it, and with whomever you like to spend it with. We'll be back on January the fourteenth with the Lovely Lisa Lobe. That's more alliteration than I thought I was going to have when I started talking today. But there you are, the Lovely Lisa Lobe on the fourteenth of January, and have a lovely holiday time, my friends. Be careful, stay safe, see you soon. My name is Craig Ferguson. This podcast is called Joy. It's not Rocket Science.
I talk to people I like about their pursuit of happiness. Here's Gabriel Iglesias, one of the most successful comedians on Earth.
Enjoy.
Okay, So I was watching your or stadium special last I think you might be the only comedian I know who's ever done a stadium.
Are you the only one that's done a stadium?
No, Kevin Hart did it. He did it in Philadelphia a few years ago. And I want to say, Larry the Cable Guy did one for a special at a college. And there's this comedian I forget his name. He's a German comic.
Right, who was the one?
He's got a special one that set he set the record, right, I know, right, Germany, German comedy.
He was the comedian. Was he Austrian?
And was it in Nuremberg because that's a completely different I was like, yeah, everyone was having a great time.
We have a good time. So the actual, uh, the Guinness Book of World Records Biggest comedy show was set by a German many years ago. Yeah, I want to say it was sixty seven thousand.
Year after that record.
Aren't you know what? That would be a great goal. Yeah, it would be a great goal.
And you you're so I think when I watch you, because i'm a comedian as well, I've never played a stadium, but I like to think that I've got some chops a little bit. But I'm watching you and this thing, especially because I'm watched it last night, and I'm thinking, you're playing this like it's like it's a club like I've never You were just relaxed.
Didn't look to me like you were like umped or.
Anything, which I think is amazing because I know what it's like to get up there and to feel the energy of a crowd and to try and fight against your own tendency to just run around to make a noise.
You know. It's like it was amazing it like did you chant? Do you have a meditation process?
Yeah, that's been a question, like what's his routine off stage? Believe it or not. I'm just usually having a conversation like this with somebody, either the tour manager or my buddy Martine, or somebody who's right there next to me off stage. We're just chit chatting and tell the either the intro video or the the you know, whoever is introducing me, introduces me, you know what I'm saying, And then yeah, so I just I'm having a conversation. I know a lot of entertainers that like to get in the zone. They like incense, They have to drink something, they have to smoke something, they have to be in a corner, they got to you know, and I'd rather just have a conversation and just take this and just keep going up there.
It's almost weird, Gabriel.
It's kind of like that because it's like when you know the thing in Silence of the Lambs, which part was in Silence of the Lamb when they're describing Hannibal Lectern and they said he they had the pulse meet on him and he bent off and nurses the ear and his pulse didn't change.
That's when they knew.
He was like a crazy He was so crazy that he didn't even get a dreamal when he was doing it. Is that how crazy you are you don't even get I do get excited.
It's just that for that one in particular, I just think that we were It was a year in the making from the time that we planned it, and once it was there, it was just, you know, it felt very much like a homecoming. It felt like everybody there wants me to do good. I felt like it was a celebration of something bigger than me. You know. It wasn't like I was trying to go out there and kill it. It was like everyone knew what it took to be at that moment and we were all just celebrating it.
You are a very interesting comic to me as well. I think because you have no other comedian that I've spoken to has the level of goodwill that you have.
Everybody loves you. There's like everybody you can find haters.
No well, I guess you can find them because you're a comedian.
Do you go looking for them? You don't go looking for them. But you know, I do read my own social media. I run my own social media, so I'm looking at comments and stuff, and you know, people say, oh, you got to just brush it off, but it's you know, or not pay attention. But I have to pay attention. That's what makes me me.
Yeah.
So you know, but you know, every now and then there's there's someone who doesn't get what I.
Do to get to you, does ever get to you to get you done?
It makes me question, well, what is it that I'm doing? What is you know, I've been in enough therapy sessions to be able to question myself.
Now do you get Do you get therapy? I mean I've had a ton of therapy.
Yeah, yeah, I've done it for years.
And it's interesting because you come across and I think a lot of your audience think like.
He's just a guy. He's the guy who says funny things.
But there's no such thing as just a guy who says funny things in a stadium.
That's not like a normal guy, you know.
I mean, I know that you are normal in the sense that you're not crazy, but you are a little bit crazy because you're a stand up comedian. A lot of it is about for me, I think everyone I know, and I know a bunch of them, there's a kind of there's an energy in the darkness that goes with it too, right.
Yeah, definitely you have to have something going on with you to want to get up on stage and get the laughs and to make people smile and just you know, there's there's something there.
What do you think it is with you? Because I most people like talk to. I don't want to lead the witness, but most people like talk to. I think it's it's in childhood somewhere.
I was about to say, I've always been a big kid. I've always been the last to get chosen for activities. I've always been the you know, the unpopular one, chubby kid, messed up teeth, you know.
I had to acting messed up teeth with just making it normally.
You know.
It's like.
Things that that you know, kept me from being social because people would you know, the kids were cruel, you know, I mean they bullying now is one thing, but back then they added, uh, it was physical too. Yeah, so there was just a lot of that, and and I think that once I found comedy, comedy was the it was my hero, it was my savior. It's what protected me and kept me from feeling all those different ways.
Was a conscious thing as a kid, because I mean, of course you hear comedians say it was I used it to protect myself and I and I did too, but but I didn't.
I wasn't aware that I was doing that at the time.
I was just like, you just do anathing available to protect yourself, right.
Comedy For me, I definitely knew that that's what it was doing, and it made me want to do it more. And I loved it too. I love the attention, of the thrill, the butterflies that you would get right before you'd walk out on stage.
When did you first start doing it?
I was ten years old the first time I tried it. I did a school talent show. I was up on stage doing impressions. Because I didn't exactly know what comedy was exactly. I had watched an Eddie Murphy special and probably not the which it doesn't matter which one it is. It probably wasn't something that a ten year old should be watching. But I love the fact that he was doing the voices and the characters, and that's what I was drawn to. I was drawn to the animated part of it, not so much the foul language or whatever else he was talking about. I was drawn to the animated part. And I knew that I had this ability of altering my voice and playing. And so I got a chance to audition for a school talent show and they said, well, you know, what are you going to do? I said, well, I did voices, and I didn't know what really, you know, how to do comedy, But I knew that I had seen enough of a guy by the name of rich Little way back in the day Mary. Oh, yeah, impressionist.
He did the White House correspond the year before I said it.
He was he was really oh okay, yea yeah, So.
I know exactly who you mean, because I have you done that yet? No, So you stay away from I stay away from too. I just I mean, that's I think that's the reason why they asked me. I mean a big I used to talk about it a little more of the night, do not.
I'm like, no, it's just crazy.
Did you ever talk about it in the beginning? I did when it wasn't so taboo, whereas now you sneeze the wrong way and people are like, oh oh, it's like that.
Yeah, I mean you talk about that was that in the It was one of your specialists. You talk about they're trying to somebody trying to blackmail you like that, that fate.
But that's all the time though. I can't even say that that's a one and done. People are always like, you know, once you have a little bit of success or a lot of success, people want a piece of the pie, and so they'll they'll try to you know, hey I got this photo of this, or hey I saw you doing that, or you.
Know, are you a party animal?
Do you not a party animal? I'm forty six now I just want to I just want to do my show and go and hang out my dogs and grab a soda. I was more partying in the in the twenty you know when I was When I was twenty Yeah, twenty twenty five, that was I was.
That was more so did you ever get like I was shocking drunk? That was my twenties. I had to get so.
I would drink a lot. Yeah, I would drink a lot. Yeah.
Did you did you get to get out of hand.
Yeah, I'm sure it did.
See I knew I liked you.
I'm sure there are photos. But you know what, it was a different time.
You know, it's a different time a little bit.
I feel sorry for a lot of the youngsters today because I like, if there were cell phones around when I was drinking, I mean, the level of embarrassment and shame that they could.
You had time to prepare if somebody was going to take a photos like, oh.
Look at me's getting drunk hold on or the guy puts the black thing over his head and you're upside down and you have to stay still and then the flask goes off.
Gotcha? So that darkness.
Then we'll answer your question from earlier voices and the characters and stuff. I went up on stage and I realized that I had something going there because that night when I went up there and I was doing impressions of pee Wee Herman, who at the time was you know, he was still pee Wee Hermant, Petere Herman, Ronald Reagan, Popeye, Mickey Mouse. These are the characters I was doing when I was ten years old, and the crowd reacted to it and they're like, wow, look at him, and I had a microphone and it was loud and I could actually hear myself. It was the first time I worked with the microphone. Even with me. I was like, oh wow, I'm mont to something. And then I did the talent show again the following year, and then I went seven years before I was in high school. I got on the speech team and that's where I got the courage to get up in front of class. And then I just started doing that every single day, getting up in front of the class, until eventually I was just super comfortable in front of people. And then once once I started doing school, I was no. It was. It was a shit school. Yeah, you know. I mean I'm proud of because I graduated from it. Lombich Wilson, what's up. But there are many better schools, a lot better schools. But that's that's you know.
It was a violent environment.
During that time, yes, yeah, oh there was always school fight and rights and the you know, on the pot and stuff like that.
That's a lot of a lot of comedians, I know, particularly.
I avoided them though. I was, yeah, the schoolmash pit.
But that I think because I think of you as a I mean, if you were a British comedian, I'd say you were a working class comedian.
You know what I mean.
It's like you're I feel like you're I mean, this is a compliment. By the way, this is like a blue collar guy. You're from a working class environment, even to the extent you still know no.
Silver spoon for sure. My mom and I. It was just my mom and I, no dad in the picture section eight housing, public housing. We were on welfare, which is the wick of today.
Yeah, you think that's part of it. My wife is a theory that all stand up comedians have the same mother.
Oh she's She was very strong, very strong, very very opinionated. Did not think I was a good comedian. She didn't think I was funny. Period.
Yeah, I see that, that's exactly.
But I didn't need a fan. I needed a mom, right, I get it.
But it's it's an interesting thing because I think it takes you take your personality of a cave like a chubby little kid who's afraid, because that's exactly what I was when I was a kid. I was afraid, and you start being funny and you don't even know you're funny, but you know that they're not hitting you if you can divert their attention, right, it is a kind of darks and then you get in a drinking Were you ever in a drug taken?
Not really more of an advil PM kind of guy.
Right, Yeah, you didn't go for it because I always liked cocaine. I always thought it was a good vitamin to help you drink more. I never I never thought it was a drug. I just thought it was like a drinker's vitamin, like a kind of like the way the kids use Red Bull.
Now it's dry red Bull.
You never got into though, because because there's a I think particularly you know, if you grew up in La, La has a real culture.
Of you know, you get drawn and all that. As a young per.
There was a lot of it around. You know. What's crazy is that I always heard stories where big guys usually did not handle cocaine. Well, right, it was always you know what, if you're big and you do blow, then you're gonna die. You're gonna have a heart attack and die because big guys can't hang. And so I that alone was more than enough to keep me scared straight where I'm like, no, I'm big, I can't be doing that. I'll just I'll have a drink.
So you didn't have a self destruct thing.
It was just like it was just like to get messed up, but it wasn't to destroy yourself.
But also too, I mean I worked a lot. I really focused, and I was so excited about doing stand up where that's what I wanted to do. It wasn't the party after that I was after. It was actually the stage. Yeah, so you know I was just trying like, Okay, where can I find another stage? Where can I go up? You know, this is before social media, so you actually had to go and hang out with people and like you're at Denny's at two three o'clock in the morning with other comics are somewhere on something else. Some are just there to do exactly what you're there to do. And you know that was your social circle, and you know you kind of built off of that. You'd say, hey, can I get so and So's number? Can I call him? You know, if he's booking, where can I send a tape? You know, this is all stuff that you had to do back then at a lot of homework. You wouldn't know any of these guys. Yeah, it was it was a so When.
Did you start?
When did you start moving up? Do you think when did you start start working?
I was very fortunate that I caught lightning in a bottle really quick. So April tenth, nineteen ninety seven is my first official start date where I called myself a comic. I was in Long Beach, which is where I live now still and.
Yeah, because you like you drove here today in LA and it was raining and I was like, I can't believe you didn't cancel the fact.
That I canceled. I nearly canceled, and I'm like five minutes from here.
And I felt bad because I'm like, I'm a be late. No, I'm still coming, see, but I'm gonna be late. I think that's a that's a working sales here. That's that's your mom did that? That's your mom did that? I sailed here.
You have to get to that. You have to get there. If your mom was Scottish that you have to get there, who do you think? Yeah?
Ge Lannel told me this thing that when he took over the Tonight Show, it used to say the Tonight Show as starring Johnny Carson, and then when he took over, it said that Tonight so starring Jay Leno, and he told his mom and his mom said, well, his mom Scottish. He said, oh, the tonights was starting, Jaylando was starting Jilano was it?
Who do you think? Yeah? So he had to change it to The Tonight Joe with Jaylano.
Because his mom.
Because his mom, he's frightening.
She also he was on the cover of Time magazine and in Boston where he grew up, and his mom said, it's probably just the local Time magazine. He said, Mom, isn't the local Time magazine. See, I think moms are of comedians are kind of like that, you know, they're kind of.
They're the humblers. Yeah, there was no time where I could brag around my mom. No, unfortunately not, she's been gone ten years now. But I know that anytime I say something out loud that that kind of like I could hear my mom already, like how she would have reacted to that. Yeah.
Yeah, it's interesting I feel that.
Okay, oh look at you.
Oh that's exactly my Yeah, I wanted because you're you're quite open.
I say that. I don't know if you're open.
You talk about your family and your act, you talk about your son and you're right. Whenever I talked about my kids they don't like him, and they stopped me doing it, like, nope, that's done.
That's where I'm at right now.
Oh really saying you got to stop it.
It took a minute. He didn't say I have to stop, but he made it clear that he didn't appreciate it. And I didn't want to keep doing it if it was going to bother him, because I don't want the resentment and want him getting you know, for me, I just saw it as my form of parenting because I'm like, you know, before shaming was a thing. That's how you. You make fun of him. You embarrass him. You embarrass your kids so that they wouldn't do it, And I figured embarrassing them was better than spanking them. Yeah, it's better than yelling at them. Hey, look, I'm just going to make you feel stupid and hopefully you don't do that again.
Well, it's get an interesting thing because doing that now like people, because I agree with you, it's like somebody makes you feel dumb about doing something, you're less likely to do it again. And if he's done from a loving position, then that's fine. But I think the problem that.
I don't know.
I think people are having with the younger generation right now, is maybe that they don't handle any kind of contrary opinion very well. I don't think he's any to do with woke. I think decent people have always been decent people. But I think the idea of you know, I should have a hassle free life go, really, have you ever been on the four h five, Because there's no such thing as free life. It's like you're going to get hassled. It's just one of those things. I mean, you should get trained for it a little bit. Well, it is your boy now twenty five. Yeah, it's the type of stop hit you if you don't stop. Yeah, that's crazy. So when he was growing up, now you were, you were with his mom?
Yes, I got him when he was seven, his stepson. Yes, my mom would call him aftermarket.
Yeah, I listen. I don't hold with that.
I think love is love and family his family, and I don't buy any that kind of half brother, step sister all that. It's like, it's just it's a it's a way of kind of fine tuning the description, that's all it is.
But my mom was pretty hardcore and set against me having any type of relationship with anyone that already had a what did she call it? She said, Oh, that girl you're dating, she has a pre existing condition. I go, Mom, I go, it's not a medical thing. She's got here. What's the big deal?
You know?
She goes, you need to have one of your own. And I'm like, Mom, it's fine.
That's an interesting thing that you. Did your mom ever come around to it?
Is?
She?
All right? In the end?
You know what? She was not really she was just cool, like okay, fine, but she wasn't going out of her way to be like hey, come here, hey let me you know.
Yeah.
It was more so just like all right, he's here, cool, hello, you know what I mean?
That's interesting.
And trying to get my mom to change that was that was a mission in itself. And I think, just again, we're in a time now, we're now we're that person and now it's like, okay, so she.
I mean, she lived long enough to see you get very successful. Yes, right, so, which must have kind of freaked around a little bit, you think.
I don't know. I honestly don't know, because I mean I was working so much and she didn't exactly like watch me on television or anything like that. She knew I was always working, because you know, we would talk daily. Where are you at now? Where are you at now? When you're coming home, I'm hungry, take me to eat? So she wanted to know when I was, I was like, go and pick her up and take her to eat and tell her about my week and stuff like that. But I don't think that she knew that it was going to get to where it is now.
So many people go to where you are now though, I mean it's kind of like stratospheric at this point. Where do you see it going comedically? I mean there is I talked to you about the idea of going after that German Guys record for the biggest comedy in the show ever and maybe that.
But is that? Is that it? Or you happy?
Are you still happy playing, you know, a club with two hundred people in it?
I'm very happy with being able to like I shoot, I was at the Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio this past weekend and the room seats maybe two fifty three hundred, and I was having a great time. I loved it. It's it's you're right there with the people, but don't get me wrong. I love being gold driven. So having something to you know, work towards how can you outdo yourself? Because you know, a lot of times I think that people get into the you know, competition of oh, what's that guy doing, what's that guy doing, what's that guy doing? Whereas I find myself like, all right, how can I outdo what I did last time? Versus trying to figure out, Oh, this person's doing this, this person's doing that. That's why it's like people kept saying, you should do a podcast, but I'm like, that's not me though, or you should. Yeah, you should be either do this kind of show.
You got point. Yeah, I think it goes with your driver's licenses.
If you want to have a you know, or get avoid getting audited by the taxman or something, you have to do it, you know.
But as far as what's the next goal, I think it would be awesome because honestly, I contemplated retiring at Dodger Stadium. I thought about retiring because of the fact that I'm like, can I outdo this? Is this the biggest thing I'm ever gonna do? And if it is, what better way to hey, thank you good night?
Yeah? I don't think you should do that.
Look, I'm not a therapist, but I think that would be a bad idea.
I think I'd miss it.
You miss it. I think it would turn on you. I think that.
I mean, look, you don't I don't have to be an expert in the human condition to what you do. Stand up and go. That guy has got demon So that's the only way.
You get up there.
You don't get up there just ah, he's just a guy goes to Red Lobster. He goes to Red Lobster with his kid and they have a nice time to go. Yeah, he does do that. But you know there, you know, there's gotta be some dark in that fuel. There's gonna be some I think it would turn on you. The thing I think I'm going to say something to you. This is not by way of advice. It is an observation. I spent a long time. I was talking to some guys earlier. But I worked with Mick Jagger for a little while writing a screenplay, and so I was on tour with the roland Stones, and I watched Keith Richards. Keith Richards is just as happy would the Rolling Stones being that band, as he would be if it was in a ship band playing in a pub in North London. As long as he's playing the guitar, he doesn't really care. Nothing else really matters. And I think you have a little bit of that as long as you're doing the show. Like you said, you know, you just you just like to get up there. You want to get up there.
You know. I think if you were not doing that, I think.
It would it would come get you. I think you'd find a way to.
To get that.
Something would happen. Yeah, I guess with me, the problem is is that I'm afraid of all the work that I've put in over these years because this is your twenty six now for me, and I'd be afraid of like getting to a certain point. And then because it's not every day you could say you saw your peak, right, you know what I mean? And I don't know if this is the peak. I don't know if it is. I mean, it's the highest point I've reached so far, right.
But is it all about professionalism? Are their ambitions personally? Would you like to sail around the world? Would you like to, you know, get ripped and climb Mount Everest?
Is? Is there the other goals? Outside of performance.
Outside of performance, I mean, done a lot of traveling, been a lot of places, seen a lot of things.
Yeah, but you're always doing a show.
No, it was always around a show. I've never taken a vacation just to take a vacation, and that that blows people away too, that you know, No, I get, I just do not go anywhere like for me, I don't see a vacation as a vacation that I'm doing all the things I don't like doing about comedy without the comedy. So what, I gotta get on a plane. I gotta go to the airport. I gotta get on some shuttle bus. I gotta check in a hotel. I gotta worry about bed bugs. I gotta worry about you know. Let's yeah, all that, and you don't get there somewhere to eat. You know, what's going to be the situation once we get there?
How are you flying in airplanes?
I'm fine. I usually, uh we fly private, right, fly private, but mostly if it's for my dogs. I travel with my dogs and so you know, they keep me happy. Let's tu chiawas they go anywhere? They go everywhere? But yeah, I usually fly with them. And if they're not going with me on fly commercial.
Right, But you don't have any fear of flying things?
Right. That's interesting because I feel like I want to try and find out what's kind of making you tech, and I think you kind of you're luding me, not on purpose.
I just can't put my finger on it, which I think is fantastical.
Nice.
No, I think that's I think it's great. I mean, they.
Gotta break them down. I'm gonna break them down right now.
I don't feel broken down.
I feel kind of I'm quite intrigued by because I think you're a very singular human being. I think that you must be very strong emotionally, are you do you think you said?
I think it all depends setting boundaries. I think it's the boundaries are only as good as the person who you're trying to set them with.
Real be sure, because I think some people like need stricter kind of information you.
Can tell them. But I think a lot of times people are just gonna do whatever they want to do, and so you got to be selective about who you surround yourself.
With, and you're careful.
I try to be, but there's some people that have I guess been grandfathered in because they've been around so long and you just know, like, ah, don't talk about this around this person, don't bring up that. And you know, I see that start to stop Watch.
That's an age, I think because I could that too, because like young people is like if they don't agree, they're not friends. I'm like, hey, I'm like I have friends who are like awful, But what am I gonna do?
It's my friend, you know.
It's like, you know that guy's a racist, to go he is, he's a terrible racist.
But what am I gonna do? He's my friend.
It's like that thing like Megan Markle and Prince Harry said there's a racist in the Royal family and I'm like, no, yeah, it's a it's a family. If you don't know who the racist is in your family, it's because it's you know, you're the racist. You're the Yeah, It's it's crazy. It's like Grandpa's going to make a speech. No, he is not one of make a speech.
He's no.
I mean, do you find because your Mexican heritage, right, have you encountered I don't know, have you encountered prejudice from any angle because of that?
Do you think you know?
Yes, But I think a lot of times it's like, am I overthinking it? Am I? Am I looking into it? More? Am I? Am I looking for it? Versus is there something that's clearly like am I clearly being held back or being challenged or being you know, made to feel less than? Because I mean, we've gone to some places where you know, stereotypically it would not go well, right, and it does. And I think that For example, there's been some shows that we've done where I'm doing meet and greets afterwards and there's people coming up and they've got Confederate flags on the t shirts and the tattoos, and you could tell that, you know, they might have set a racial slur or two in their day. Yeah, but uh, for some reason, around me, it's weird to like, you know, you think you're gonna get one thing and then it's like, you know, I'll have people say things like we were eating at a at a Mexican restaurant before we came to see you, because we knew we were coming to see you, so we wanted to go eat some tacos and drink some Mexican soda before we came to see you, and part of me wants to go the what the hell does that even mean? But it's like when you hear what they're saying, it's like they're trying to find a way to connect and be close, even all the way that they're saying. What they're saying is just like are you come on? And so you want to get offended, but you realize sometimes sometimes people don't know any better. They have the best of intentions, but they don't know how to convey it. And so you're like, all right, okay, ro I'll get people. Oh lah, I'm a big fan of yours. You know, I want to be your amigo. I'm like yeah, I'm like like, okay, you you are a fan clearly, but your approach is just.
I can I can very much relate people. People come up to me and go, oh, Shrek ferty don't. I was like, really, didn't make you me feel weird? Like I don't know Shrek? All right? I do know Shrek, but I don't. We don't get along all right. Do you speak Spanish?
Yes?
I do. Do you do gigs in Mexico?
I recently performed in Mexico, but I don't perform in Spanish, it loses a lot in the translation, and then depending on what part of Latin America you're in, you're in, you know the slang, it's it's very different, right.
You interested in it because you know Eddie as as a friend of mine and Eddie she performs in lots of different languages, Like Eddie will go to France and not even speak French and then learn the act fanatically and then perform it as as an experiment. That's incredible, that's crazy, right, But I think you have a little bit of that in the sense, so because you work with the sound, Like the amount of voices you do in a show is crazy, like the different like you can do my voice. I heard you do it in that set Calm that you did for Netflix.
You did a Scottish accent that way.
That's actually oh bad, and nobody can do a Scottish accent and you can do it. And I think you have that fanantic thing, doesn't it. I think you should try a gagainst Spanish.
I you know what I've done. I've performed in Spanish for fifteen twenty minutes, right, and so I in my head I translated it and trying to you know, like, all right, here we go, right, and it went, okay, you know, I've opened up for Mexican Spanish speaking comics. We did. We actually made it a challenge where I opened up for a comic by then in a Francois Camilla who's massive in Spanish, and I challenged, Hi, all right, now you got to open for me two minutes in English.
Did he do?
Yeah? We both did, and we both agreed that we should never do that again. It was a horrible idea there.
No, I don't know, man, i'n't love to see that.
It was you know, it was it was cool to say that we tried it. And I'm like, okay, because the show that I opened for him in Mexico City at the Arena, he was taving a Netflix special and I went out there and it was just like wow, Like it was because I was really I had to really think about what I was saying, and that was messing with me. Yeah. I had him open for me at Staple Center when it was still Staple Center, and again he was back there and he's just sweating bullets and you know, he's talking to me and he's like, oh yeah, you know, oh my goodness, it was. But the fact that Eddie can do that, I think I know it.
But I think it's it's something to do with maybe a musician's brain.
Are you a musician?
My whole family they're all singers, songwriters, and you know, a priest. It's the weirdest combination of No.
That to me is like I used to recipe for a stand up a priest and a musician mixed together.
That's on my On my father's side, it's it's priest. There's priest and Mariacci's so.
No way to me if there's a priest.
And I know you see is a problem. But that's why I usually just say Mariacci and kind of just so and whateveres everybody else do they're just you know, they're spiritual.
Right, So that is so, there's the spiritual side. And are you a musician though? Do you play anything?
No, I don't know. I'll get drunk and do karaoke and that's the extent of it.
You still get drunk, Yeah, good for you, Good for you. It doesn't get in the way of what I don't know life. I mean, for me, I can't get drunk or I'm like things get arresty or I.
Just hate myself, you know.
I mean I hate the next day when you're dealing with a hangover or if you have a flight, or if you have to be functional. Right, that's when it's like.
Yeah, for me, that that next day is kind of about three months.
I remember being on the road having a good time and then you know, no big deal, wake up the next morning, go to the airport. You know, it was all good. And then you know, as soon as I hit forty, that stopped. Now because you're a big guy. And back to that question about setting goals and stuff like that, you know, traveling or whatever it is. Yeah, my goal has always been, you know, if I could just you know, do this would be to lose weight. I'd be lying if I if I didn't say that the weight lost art.
It's really hard. I mean I struggle with it, and I really do.
I struggle with it all the time, and I get crazy about it sometimes.
How do you approach it trying to lose weight?
Well, clearly I haven't.
I don't know, Man, you look like something.
I mean, this is not my heaviest I was actually from right now, I've been I was one hundred pounds heavier. Yeah, I filled in the couch.
That's crazy. Well, congratulations on that. That's incredible. Feet.
There was a point in time where a comedian arrest in peace. Ralphie May and I were very cloa, very close. But yeah, during COVID, I had an opportunity to get a trainer and then I'm diabetic, so I want to go see a doctor and I got put on some you know, good medication to control that, and that helped out so that automatically, without even really you know, having to do much, the weight to started coming off because I wasn't eating out every night.
Yeah, because we were home. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Did you get it? Did you get COVID?
Yes? I got COVID one time. I know people that got it four, which I think is insane.
I've had it twice. It's well, no counting now because I feel like I might I've kidding.
I feel a bit monkey POxy, but I'm okay. COVID vise, I'm fine. I've just been checked. It's fine.
I don't know. I mean, do you want to draw up more?
I do, and not so much for like, oh, I want to look better, but i'd rather you know, I'm coming up on the age now where it's like I might want to start.
Yeah, I know, you got to think about it for sure. It's a thing.
That's that's more so the thing like okay, I just you know, to feel better.
Right, So what do you do about it? Do you fast? Do you like on Gwyneth Powers, was bowen soup or something nice?
I haven't done anything yet to make that change. I think I got to get it right here first and then I can do it, yeah, because I don't want to just start and then be like all right, that didn't work out and then just feel like I've failed.
I think for goal orientated people like you, and I think weight loss is even harder because you try and make a goal for it and people say make a goal, make a goal, and don't. I don't see it like that. I think it should be like it's today, today's the goal.
I get a lot of people to say, oh, it's just it's a lifestyle change. Yeah, it's a change of lifestyle, like is it a diet or am I you know what a what do you mean lifestyle?
No, it's just today, it's like you know what, am I going to have a candy bar never or no, all right, I want to have it now. That's it, that's only I mean, that's why I had to do to stop drinking, because the idea, even though I haven't had a drink thirty one years, but the idea of no ever drinking again. I'm not prepared to make that commitment, you know. I just like, I'm not going to have one today.
And that is very impressive because I'm sure you've been putting a lot of situations where the alcohol is right in front of you.
I live in Scotland, man, it's like you lost the window.
It's like it's right there, go buddy.
Right, you'll have something like no, I don't want to darg come out.
Have you ever played Scotland? No I haven't. But actually I will be playing it very soon. Really yes, it'll be the first time. I know. I'm doing the UK, I'm doing London, and I'm going to be doing.
Let's Go Edinburgh. There will be one of those.
It's going to be one of them. Know it's coming up.
It maybe both, It might be No, it's coming up. I want to come and see you. I want to come and see you in front of a Scotch crowd. They'll eat you up, they'll love you, you will kill over there.
I've heard of all the festivals and all the comedy shows that have happened there, and I'm just like, how have I not gone well?
I think because you were successful enough you didn't have to.
I mean, the the Edinburgh Festival is about really for a lot of people, about getting started, you know, So if you're doing well in the United States, you don't. It wouldn't be on your radar if you were, if you were an up and come comic in the UK.
But it would be more so like to just get my foot in the dorm and at least you know, like all right, you know, for example, like with Montreal, Montreal was always.
The judge for last festival. Yeah, you've done that.
Right, yes, multiple times. So it's like, you know, even now where it's like I don't have to, but I like going because then I can catch up with a lot of comics I haven't seen.
Them, see that I do the same thing. Sots far As like, hey, so who do.
You who do you hang with? Who do you like and who do you rate in the comedy world? Now, who do you like seeing? Do stand up?
You know what, My favorite comedians are comics who don't do what I do, which is basically like comics that get very controversial political comics that that touch on topics that like, yeah, I've intentionally avoided in order to maintain the stylistic choice.
I mean, Gaffigans like that as well. Jim Gaffigan.
I don't know if you know Jim, but jem Is is like he's as cranky and cussy as any other comedian, you know, but he said, I made a show. He keeps his show totally clean. He keeps it, you know, family friendly. Atlanta is the same.
I mean, Atlanto can cause like a sailor, you know, anytime you.
I've seen someone scratch one of his cars, he can cuss.
Yeah yeah, yeah, but but he doesn't do that in his eyes.
He keeps it. I wish I could.
I keep trying and then I just one or two slip out every time.
I remember I was talking to Jim. Jefferies is one of my favorites. Bill Ber, Jeffrey Jeffers, Bill Burr, Tom Segura, He's an oh great Chapelle. I mean, you know, I love, I love these performers are incredible. I was doing Jim Jeffrey show. And after the show was over, you know, we're in the bathroom just that and there I go, I go, Jim, can I just tell you something?
Man?
I go, I go, I envy your freedom on stage to say anything you want and feel feel good about it. He looks at me and he goes, I envy your money.
All right, Yeah, that's fair. I think that's to shave my friend. Do you ever think about doing a show where you could just unleash.
From time to time? I will, You know, I won't keep it as squeaky clean as let's say, Jim Gaffigan would, but you know, in my set, I will I do cuss in my show. I mean, I'll do a show.
Yeah. It doesn't come across like you're doing a clean shows.
It's but it's not every other word. You know, there's some times that it's like a tick. It's just it comes out every two seconds. But I'm very selective. So if I'm telling a story where there's a big statement to be made and I insert it there and it's like okay, you know right, and it's and it's impactful. Oh, he doesn't use that a lot. He dropped his f bomb card, you know, but it's not.
You know, I think you're right, because then then it's got some power. If you use it all the time, it just doesn't go any power. Do you ever go and see comics like I know, some people like hang out in the Comedy Store, and I've never been able to hang like that.
I can't really do it. You know, you you hang with other comedians.
You know what. The Comedy Store is one of those places that in the beginning, I always felt like it was super clicky and I didn't feel like I fit in right. There was always these groups of comics and I just like should I It felt really off.
Yeah, it's scary. It's like high school, isn't it. I hated it. Yeah.
I got a chance to perform there recently and I had a great time. It was really really cool.
Yeah, because you're one of the biggest comics in the fucking world. That's why everybody's like, oh, yeah, it different.
It was different now, yeah, but uh yeah. I was never one to hang out. I didn't want to hang out at the club. I wanted to just go in do my thing. If there was somebody that I enjoyed watching, i'd watch them, but then let me just leave to not get caught up and things.
Yeah, I think that's I think that's very smart because the I think also it's very stand up comedian, to be honest, because I think they are solitary animals. We're kind of low in predators really, and then the idea of that we'd all be It's been people say the Hollywood community is full of evil, twisted people.
I'm like, have you ever been to Hollywood? There's no fucking community and show.
Business all these people are out for themselves, for themselves, like, oh yeah, we all get together and make a decision.
No, we don't.
You know, there's no there's no uniformity of thought here. I don't think where would you go to love? Because you still live down in the old neighborhood, right.
Gay still the momach. I live literally four minutes away from where I basically, you know, grew up. I live very close to my my old neighborhood.
Is that manageable because you've got to be highly recognizable down there and people getting well, I guess it's la you're in.
Your car a lot, you know what. It's I'm close to where I used to live, but it's not where I used to live, so it's very you know, difference. And if I think if people know where you're at, that's that's one thing. People do see me driving around, you know, and I freak with the same you know, Starbucks or wherever you know I'm going. It's like, you know, like, hey, hey, it's him.
Do you ever get uncomfortable with that?
Because it's like every time you go out, especially now with the way phones are you're on, it's like any mistake you make, any little bit of road rage, any picking your nose in the car, any like, you know, passing gas and the line at Starbucks. I'm not saying I've ever done that, but I might have. You know, everybody's gonna record you. We got good days and we have bad days.
If I'm not feeling good, I try not to go out, but it doesn't mean that I'm not gonna have a moment of weakness where I'm you know, getting upset over the way someone's driving or or or somebody messing with you. Because I have people that will mess with me intentionally to drive through and I'm trying to maintain and it's hard sometimes because people want to challenge you they want to get a rise out of you.
Well, yeah, because and they're holding your food hostage.
I already paid for this. Can I just get my thing?
Say hey?
Say how to say how to my sister? Say out of my sister. Man, she's your biggest fan. Your brother has my food, and if I don't say hi, he's not going to give me my food. Mat throw some ranch while I'm talking to your sister. Now it's like a negotiation, Like negotiate to get my food. So I gotta don't you have staff? You should have staff. But see, that's the thing though, is that I don't want to I don't want to have to rely on staying in my own little box and sending people out to the real world to go get me things I don't. Then that feels like I'm disconnected. I'd rather go out there and if nothing else, it'll be a story.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
I'd rather. I'd rather. I still want to live. The only time I get concerned is if if I have my dogs with me, which is most of the time, and people.
Dogs with you today, I was going to bring them, Yeah, man.
I was going to bring them. They've been on a lot of TV shows. Uh you, Yes, I have German shepherds. You have real dogs. They're pretty good. Actually, you can't put them in your hoodie.
You can't.
I can put my dogs in my hoodie.
But you can actually get your You could send a German shepherd to buy you hoodie.
Yes, okay, which color would you like returned? Presently? What's the correct change?
I love that you gave the dog the accent German.
Accent.
I don't know, you know what I come on. You have a voice for everything. You got to have a voice for your dog.
Yeah, yeah, I do.
You don't have to share it with me. I don't want to know.
But I don't want to hold be the guy holding your food right now?
No, I have I have, you know, I'll do a little like you know, the hey daddy, I want this or that, but they don't have like accent, like why don't you put me in your right? It's not like, yeah, make my dog? I feel bad like I forced you Mexican my dogs now.
Their Mexican dogs. About the Yeah, did you have them growing.
Up from the age of twelve until now? I've always had a Chihuahua.
How long did Chihuaiwa's live.
You know what, small dogs live a long time. Yeah, they go for a while, they live a long time. I had one Chiuaha that lived to be almost nineteen, my oldest right now she's gonna be she's right around seventeen, okay, and the other one's twelve.
Okay, So you know I like German Shepherds twelve that's kind of the bigger the dogs. Yeah, that's why I wouldn't have like, I like big dogs. But you can't, you got they just break your heart. So I have two German Shepherds and a Jack Russell okay, which is very different, is like an Irish Chihuahua.
Nice, Like what the fuck you look at that? Yeah? Fucking botter fucking right. But they are crazy, are you?
Dogs?
Aggressive?
They're aggressive whenever someone comes near me, if someone approaches me, like quick, okay. That's why any ofthing, oh my god, they react to.
So that's why you keep them in your hoodie in.
The hoodie or you know, in the car and stuff like that. So whenever somebody approaches the car, I'm concerned more so for my dogs, not so much for me.
Yeah, and you don't travel with security, right maybe on the.
Road it depends on where I'm at. When I was in Mexico City performing, I had four armed guard It's which I thought was excessive.
But they're like things can get there, Like I could not be down there sometimes, you know.
I mean it's like if you're a high profile indivision here too. Though, yes they can.
It's not like it's not like a kidnapper can't say let's not talk about this. It's freaking me out. I don't know why I even brought this up. I'm talking about kidnap and now I'm worried about kidnappers.
I've had a I had a break in in December. They broke into my house and I thought my place was like solid.
I would fucking move if someone broke out of my eyes, I'd fucking leave.
And it's one of those things where people say, oh, well, what do they take?
I go.
They took my peace of mind, is what they did. You know, I had a giant I still have a giant fence that surrounds the property, multiple camera systems, a security system. You know, I'm lucky that they weren't home. Yeah, I had them with me, so I was like, Okay, just look at the brands but as far as it's traveling with security, you know, it depends on I don't think that I need an actual like team of people, but it's always good to have somebody there to just be the go between. Where like, if a bunch of people approach, Hey, okay, he'll take a picture. Can you get them all in line? Like, folks, please get together form a line. He'll be happy to take a full Keep the peace, you know what I mean, before it gets chaotic, because if I get people coming at me from every angle, and then again, if I have my dogs with me, I'm only worried about my dogs.
Are you romantically involved right now? I mean I'm not gonna no.
I was in a relationship for almost thirteen years. You know, I'm still good friends with my ex.
But how long ago did that end?
Been a few years now, about four, four or five?
That's time, man, you know, so it's at that we're cool. Yeah, but I mean it's time. It's time you get it.
Oh, start going out. I've gone out.
I've got a nice scale for you in Scotland.
Oh nice. Yeah, I've gone out on a few dates and it's just like okay, and I'm like, I'm good. I'm good. I'm gonna go home and set my thermostat to whatever temperature I want, and I'm gonna play with my dogs. I'm gonna fart and just call it a night, because I can.
You can do that when you're married, too. Yeah.
I don't want to be obligated to do things that don't make me feel like a better person.
Why the fuck should you get away with it?
You know, I'm just I'm just making up my mind that I don't I don't think I want to. I don't want to do the relationship thing anymore. I'm okay at first when I when I first broke up, oh man, I was just like, I want, I want someone I need. I've never been alone, right, and uh, you know it took some time to get used to that and appreciate it.
Do you have a space do you think in your life if someone blows your mind to come out, I'm not.
Going to say never or or no. But I haven't met that. You know, that hasn't happened yet, right, And it has to be somebody that's on board with what I do.
I think it's going to be fair. You know, anyone who meets you was going to know what you do. It's not like you go and so what do you do, Gabriel? Do you have a where do you work?
But you know, even in the past, you know when I was I've been doing this in twenty six years, so I've had a couple of relationships where they knew what I did. And I tried to explain, Hey, look, you think it's cool and it's fun right now, but it's gonna get crazier. Yeah, I'm gonna be working more. There's going to be more opportunities. And I don't want to say no to potential opportunities because you don't you know, you're gonna miss me or this or that. No, no, no, no, I can get it.
I get it.
And unfortunately, and you know, it got to a point where there was a lot of resentment. I remember I had gotten a deal with Netflix for for a sitcom and when I told her about it, she goes, well, I'm happy for you, but I'm not happy for us. Why, she says, because that's just more time that you're away. And I'm just like, all right now I'm feeling.
Bad for bad about getting a sitcom deal.
Yeah, that's and so it's like, yeah, you know.
See my wife, if I said I gotta deal with Netflix, she'd say, how much is it? And I tell us, to God, that's so great. I'm so proud of you. So there are people out there that are, you know, going to be very cool with you.
Get But then too, I don't know who to trust, you know, because they're they're meeting this one right here, versus that's who you are in industry, but it's who you are.
Like I remember once when I was in I can't remember I was. I was dating some girls years and years ago. I've been married forever, but.
Years ago, and somebody said to me, she's just going out with you because of who you are. And I'm like, but that's sure, I am, so of course she's going. I don't want her to go out with me because I'm somebody else. So I don't think it's it's not that big a deal. What if you find like, like a female comedian, Oh.
God, no, God, no, why because.
She wouldn't understand the game. And you know, no, okay, man, man.
I'm just sitting there at the dinner table and she's trying to tag my ship. I'm like, nah, no, no, Now we're good you know.
If you said that, I feel bad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
But I do think you seem to me like I don't know you very well. We've talked a couple of times, but you seem to me and you come across as a very warm, loving, sensible human being. And maybe that's what human beings are like when they're not in relationships.
They're fair. I don't know.
I do remember I talking to do you know the Broadway performer Kristin Chenning was I know the name. She's very talented, big star on Broadway, And I remember her talking about she was, you know, very committed to being single, and she was talking about what she does requires rest and solitude that a relationship doesn't afford her.
Do you think that's true?
I think it depends on who you're with well, because you know, and then also too, there's because in the beginning, in the beginning, it's always great, it's always great. In the beginning, you're both both trying to make each other as happy as possible, right, and you're both giving it everything. And then little by little, you know, one starts giving more and one starts given less, and then that's when you start getting that divide. So I think depends on where you're at where you get that piece, all right, because towards the end of mine, it was just, you know, it was so.
Oh when they go bad, they go bad. Yeah, It's it's like fish and once it goes off.
In coming back, it ain't ain't coming back, no, I know. But I do miss that whole being close to someone, having, you know, being able to just you know, sit on the couch, you put your leg on somebody like hey, you know that, I mean stuff like that. I do. I do miss simple little things, little car ride.
Well, you know, I think it what it is.
It has some whoever for me anyway, because I've been in a one successful relationship and a bunch of relationships that were so successful, and it seems to me that the person has to be your friend like that, like your partner has to be your friend too. And if you say, hey, I just got to deal with Netflix, I'm really excited about that, they would be really excited for you to genuinely and if it was something that was going to get in the way, you go, well, I'm going to have to come with the set, now, you know what I mean.
And it's like it's to be part of it.
But sometimes do you find it easy to share your success with someone who's close.
I used to try to share as much of it as I could, and then for some reason, it felt like I was bragging through their eyes. It didn't feel like I was sharing anymore. I felt like my coming across like a like, I'm bragging to this person? Is it sharing? How are they looking at it? Because the good for you and way to go started, you know, it was less and less and less. Yeah, And it was more so like, am I making this person feel bad? Because I continue to like things started just snowballing where it's like, oh my god, and then this happened today, and then this happened today, and then with success comes like opportunities to meet people, to do different things and experiences and you're just like wow. And the only person I was able to totally just share things with was my mom, and she was never going to look at it like you know, and I couldn't. There's no way I could ragged to my mom. Look at your world, traveler, OI, look at you. Can you even pick up a phone to call?
You know?
Yeah? Oh you listen.
You don't have to explain that mom thing to me. I totally understand.
But sharing your what you do with people, I found that I had to cut back because I was not making people happy by sharing. Yeah, and I'm just like, well, you know, are people happy for me? Not happy? You know?
It just weird some I mean, success is a weird thing. It's that thing. Bette Midler said, No everybody.
One of the most disappointing things about success is finding out that no everybody is happy for you.
Actually, that's very true. It's a little different. You, sir, are a joy.
I really love talking to you, and whatever you've got going on.
I would tell you, but I don't feel bad about it.
No, I think I think whatever I think, whatever you got going on, you know, it's so I'm so I can't tell you. See, I've lapsed into German dog accent now in order to disguise how I truly feel.
It's been great talking to you. Man. Continued success.
I hope you get that record of the giantest, biggest thing in the world.
I think it will be.
I gotta see what that next big goal is going to be. But until then, I'm just gonna.
I think take play a state you know, like if you've going to a stadium, I think the next thing is to start with a small state.
Said like I'm going to.
Play Rhode Island and it's the whole state. The whole state has to be there. Yeah, you can work your way up to Texas or something. To start in Rhode Island.
Just a small state and then you see how it goes. You're a good man. Thank you. Turkis Bob
