Best of 2024 - "Incorporate The Hymen Manoeuvre"

Published Jan 15, 2025, 12:07 AM

In case of emergencies - don't ask Hayesy for help šŸ¤£ 

We get you every morning, every day, Adelaide.

I think there was a medical emergency in the studio.

I e. I genuinely swallowed something the wrong way and was choking and hilarious. I have I listen to my near death experience and how it all unfolded.

Absolute scenes in the studio, and that is, Jodi. When you forgot to chew before you swallowed it, you try to eat it like a duck.

A bit of sweet potato just lodged in my throat and I literally couldn't breathe.

And at that point where I couldn't breathe, you're yelling.

Incorporate the hymen maneuver.

It's a hormone, isn't it? Isn't that too? I'm confused. I think we all learned some lessons yesterday.

Yeah, and my favorite thing about you, Andrew Hayes' when you make a mistake, God, you double down and you double down hard.

Okay, injits, it's the home and maneuver.

It's not And just for those playing at home, the home maneuver, which I'm sure is an actual thing.

I don't even know that. No, you can imagine how.

Much I don't know that. No, you would be as much as you could possibly not know something, Yes exactly?

Is that the only thing you don't know?

That the only thing you repeatedly and infuriatingly get wrong.

Oh my gosh, words, you just cannot get right thirteen twenty four to ten. I can't unless I really double down and concentrate. I can't say Glen Elg unless I really concentrate that. Go again, Glen glen Elg.

Yes.

So I've got to stop and really check myself. So I just wanted to speak normally in a sentence.

I do it.

I do a lot of sample stories and I love covering the Tigers, so you'll hear me say the Tigers or the Bays a lot instead of Glen Elg.

Right, So okay, quick spot check. Say I'm going down to Glenelg today. Don't think about it.

I'm going down to Glenelg today. I'm not good with l for the first g Glen elk Yeah, right, base going down to the Bay. Are you flawless?

I mean I can use words out of context sometimes I don't know, like bought and brought it.

And sometimes we're doing interviews with someone and you'll get them in the wrong place, and I'll just be in the corner twitching because.

I'm not going to correct you in front of someone else. Get there, and now your brain's like, oh no, I'm going to make sure that I stuff you up and make sure every single time you're using the wrong context you don't even flip the right one.

So if you bought something, you buy it, but you've you've brought it, you bring it?

Is that right? But I can't just do that.

It's something in my frontal QUARTETX that says, no, you will never get that right. You're never ever in the history of your life get brought and brought right in the right context without having stopped and going okay, if I bought it over what you.

Can't pause a five to ten seconds, make sure you get it right. Absolutely, it's a fla.

You've got one or two. I'm not sure I can top Danilk.

For years and years and years, I thought it was hyper bowl.

Ah, do you know what that's That's like the Super Bowl.

Hyper that's a weird word though, hyperbole.

Yeah, yeah, And I would say hyper bowl and I would get very embarrassed.

And does anyone actually know what it means? I don't think anyone really knows what that word even means.

Hyperbole I think, isn't it just like to spew out like a whole heap of words that sort of you don't really know the meaning to.

What I'm doing right now, I'm hyperbolezing.

We are not an intelligent show.

Ten give us an example the words that you just cannot get right, because everyone's got a word or maybe few that just trip you up.

Yeah, just let me quickly, don't produce a flack in here too. You know Levisa, the jewelry shop that's in every shopping center right across South Australia.

For years, he thought it was Louisa.

Oh no, in my advance, there's a bit of a curve on the V so it looks like a U.

So I thought it was louisahy Is that right?

A bit of a curve in your brain?

Mate?

We'll go one for you as well. For the longest time, you know the brand unique one. Yeah, that Novak Djokovic probably made quite fan famous.

Yeah.

I never looked at it, but it was Union of Queensland. Did I had the University of Queensland sponsored?

Novak was like, you didn't go to the Union Queensland. That's so weird.

Four to ten the words that you cannot get right, or maybe the words that you just always thought were completely wrong.

What a great win for the university system times a huge cube.

Guys, what is it?

Christie?

Good morning?

But just before the you two thousand, everyone was like, oh, it's coming up with the menellium.

I still can't play it.

Oh there were or two bugs already got Christie for it's even.

Up, Christy, So I think you mean I think you mean millennium? Yes, but what do you say?

Millennium?

That's good, just something who doesn't mix the ends and l's up.

Thank goodness, the millennium has been gone.

Yeah, that's good, thank you.

Let's go to you, Rebecca Hay.

Okay, let's have a crack at it. What is it?

Okay?

Cruel?

Sorry?

True?

What are you trying to say?

Are you trying to say squirrel?

Yes?

Why doesn't Why doesn't your squirrel have an it? Why is it a quirrel?

I can't do it.

I could do it if I do it, but then I feel like an idiot. Okay, well, well, well.

Okay, go again. Well you sound like you're on a slow my replay school.

So if you were to, for example, say Rebecca, if I just said, okay, say this, the squirrel couldn't find its nuts, go for it.

The squirrel can't find it, hopefully just merges into the.

Oh, yeah, I done, Rebecca. Thank you, Johnny. Okay, morning, good morning. Your word is rendezvous? What's what was Johnny?

From Craigmore's interpretation of rendezvous.

It used to be rendevers. My partner thought it was pretty hilarious.

And this is because you can't say rendezvous or did you.

Just have no idea?

Yeah?

I had an event at the render.

God, thank you Johnny.

The partner didn't leave. I thought it was funny.

Nice, that's good.

That's good. So I guess we're all in this boat together.

Yeah.

Words can be tricky, they can really be.

It's all stuff them up together.

Yeah, I mean, who hasn't Who hasn't said gelapinos am I right?

Or jelapanos.

She is one of Australia's funniest comedians.

People say when the change of life comes for ladies, get a bit moody, Holy welcome, bash someone to death.

I'm not kidding. Having graced our screens for over two decades, Julia.

He's best known for hosting I'm a Celebrity to get Me out of Here for almost ten years.

I'm a celebrity, Get Me out of Here.

Fee is the son of Steve and Ha has been feeding saltwater crocodiles, leaning.

The water, not.

Water spe Now we're just twenty years old and gold LOGI No'm under his belt.

He's heading into his second season co hosting with Julia.

That's what that is about, family, fun, passion, wildlife.

And that's what I'm a celebrities about the forest.

January premier on Channel ten from Celebrity Gets the Year, Please welcome Julia Morris and Robert Irwin.

Good morning. Just to peel back Oh you like it?

Good?

Excellent?

Yeah, I like it. Just to peel back the curtain.

We're watching you on a video and we've been watching you creepily for the last eight minutes.

You two and the genuine really.

Kind and nice, the really nice kind interaction that you two have is lovely. You genuinely enjoy each other's company, don't you.

Oh my god, we dove our luck.

Yeah. It just makes everything so much easier.

Plus, I think both of our families at this point too, like are great mates.

Absolutely. Julia just came.

And hosted the Steve ow And Gala in Brisbane, so she's a wildlife worrying through.

Can't deny it?

Can I ask you?

Are you like the rest of us when you're sitting back watching people eating like bulls testicles? Are you gagging in your mouth as well?

Yes?

Oh yeah, you can smell it and see it and defeel it.

And I always on you.

And it's like when we are standing there and the and the celebrity is doing that to make our show better. Yes, it absolutely stinks, but I think that the empathy in both of us truly is so hardcore that you also want to make that moment stop for them.

You know, a bulls testicle or a bull's eyeball? Which one do you choose?

Oh?

Yeah, which which way?

Personally neither.

All the ways I picked that about you, Julia, I picked.

It marriage so I don't have to worry about it.

But I can tell you this much.

The bag is chewy. The eyeball, you cannot separate. It just is like it doesn't stop. And then eventually, if it, teeth do make their way through the optic nerve.

The freaking struggling into your mouth and you can't know and then the lens just just like a plug on the back of it.

It's so vile that it's.

The natural choice would be like, just give me the eye. It's smaller bag bag only I'll just take.

The garden salad.

Jez us. I'm going to try to move forward from that. Let's see how we go. Yeah, what they do say in the business is too far. Yeah, that's okay.

Robert Prince William has just been named the sexiest ball man in the world. So you were up close and personal with him not so long ago. Can you confirm or deny that he's super sexy?

Well, I can confirm he's a great conservationist. That that I can weigh in on. He is a really, really incredible person. And you know, I've gotten to have a few great conversations with him in the past, but you know this this last week for the Airthshop rise in Cape Town, I really got a chance to to really spend some time with him, you know, go on a few hikes and have a couple of really great meetings and and Mate, it's it's been it's been an honor.

It's been great, So Princess Diana much loved across the globe. We see so much of her in Prince William. Did you see that in his endeavors to try and promote awareness.

Absolutely?

And I think you know, like when whenever you are, you know, carrying on someone's memory, in someone's spirit and legacy, and it can it can be a challenging thing, but but you you find your own way to go about it. I know in my life, you know, of course, throughout everything, my dad is always ever present in every conversation, and so I can sort of relate to that, and you know, I'm certain she would be incredibly proud of him, and and he's he's fighting the good fight, he really is, so so yeah, he's definitely carries on that that spirit and that and that determination for sure.

Did you guys have that discussion about carrying on your parents legacy?

I think it's just.

This sort of unspoken thing. I think anyone who's in that club is a it's not a fun club to be in, but there's a lot of us in that club, and it's this nice, unspoken understanding that you have and there's something somehow kind of comforting about it. It's hard to explain, but it's special.

So, Julia, his.

Father is very much into the conservation.

He truly is.

Yeah, and I've met him as well.

And when I shook Charles's hand, I remember shaking his hand and going, oh, the callouses, Like he's got callous hands. He's a hard workers like he puts in the work. He's an incredible gardener, and he's an incredible environmentalists. And you know when you meet someone like that, there's all the different preconceived notions people have, but from my experience that I've had, they're hard working people and they're doing a lot for our environment.

So mate, big points for that.

Yeah, all the best with the show.

We love watching YouTube together on screen there the chemistry is just electric.

So thank you so much for the chat.

Gee, we have fun. Thanks guys. See on the nine eighth, that's a job.

That's a joke. That's a job. Job, a terrible job.

We get you up and about is the aim. Anyway we do our best. Yeah, we do it through humor.

It's the Monday Morning joke off.

And if you heard the Naughty six forty a short time ago, you will understand when I say the Queen of Kink is back.

Okay, last time I offer help on sexual innuando and advice to you too.

That's a lot of leather for a Monday morning.

Can you take the mask off for the joke?

Talking bit says the man wearing some leather chat.

Gosh, Jody's dripping in chains?

All right, three jokes? Who wants to go first?

An Irish man walks into a library and he says, fish and chips please. My brain says this is a library. It goes sorry, fish.

And chips please be.

It's gonna be so quiet in a library. Its good.

You have to whisper because it's a light. Okay, I got one.

A man asks his iPhone Siri, why am I single?

Siri activates front camera.

Can you imagine that?

That's brutal? I'm trying to get it? Go on, go again.

I'll go one way because.

You're under all sorts of just come out of rolls, out of your slate? What else you got?

Two donkeys are standing at a roadside. One donkey says, so shall we cross? And the other donkey says, no way. Look at what happened to the zebra.

Yeah, I like that.

That's clever, It's get good.

Here we go.

So p ignant woman that bumps her head and falls into a comb, A pregnant woman. When she finally wakes up, she's greeted by a nurse. The nurse says, oh, great, you're finally back, and the woman says, did I give birth? Nurse replies, yes, you gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. She says, wow, that's amazing. The nurse replies, and your brother named them. Woman says, oh, no, but he's an idiot. What did he name the girl? Nurse replies Denise. Woman says, oh that's it's quite a nice name. And what about the boy? What did he name him?

Nurse replied The nephew.

Confirmations, good, you win the joker?

What did the like? The little contest?

This is? Isn't it?

Isn't it gorgeous?

I promise everyone I'm going to stay calmp Okay, I'm going to.

Be so's them this way because you know what, let's face it, I'm trailing so horrendously badly.

No, I can't.

I can't make a dan to an impact, So why don't know as well as yours? And has fun?

Right?

Is it a two eighty two, fourteen to twenty seven, spuck, I just.

Glasses from him.

I'm not going to buy it either, just so you know. Okay, you can throw out as much bait as you want. I am not going to be that little fishy this morning.

Okay, you fishy, fishy fishy. Hey, producers are for the first time. What's going on here?

The song's song song song our favorite competition here in the Hazy Show. So three songs, no over hits and three backs or kestralized. It's the best of three. You're playing for a couple of listeners to win them a Wallace Cinema family pass. First through this morning with Stacey from Prospect, who chose Team Jody. Thank you Stace, and then on Team Hazy, John Davron Park.

Here's Johnny. Hey you there we go, good man. How are you my friend?

John's first time?

Now I'm on your team? All right? Yes, sort of sledging. I'm going to ignore.

That's okay though, because Stacey chose you. Yes, that's nice.

Oh so Johnny got a signed Hazy.

Yes you've got the short straw.

Yeah, poor poor Johnny. Let's kick straight into it. Song number one.

Here we go.

Yeah, I know what name is your brother, I don't know.

The title the artist.

That's the probs. We're we're fully sure.

Listen basically, go on sure, men, there's nothing hold me back.

Wow, I'm shocked.

I thought you'd both get that straight away.

It's from the car, and it's on the car, Johnny, it's on the cart.

I saw it on TV.

Can I be honest with you? Joe's and this may shock you, but I'm not a huge, huge fan of Shawn Mendes.

Okay, I don't dislike it, but you may not see me at a SHORW.

Mendes concert.

Okay, Okay, that's good to know.

So I don't know if you know me well enough to know that.

But I don't know.

Your musical taste is quite eclectic, and I can never really pick what.

You do like I'm is that right?

Because I don't know what that word means.

I mean in the but it is the best. That's three. There's a chance to come back. I think this one's hard song.

Number two song too. Joey always excels.

At Okay, don't don't bite, You're right, shut up.

Too much.

I know.

Only I'm gonna give you that that was was very good.

Friends.

Friend.

Hey, so here's the big question.

Here's the massive question.

And this is a big test, Joes, do we play the third song? Come on for the thrill of it?

Absolutely?

You said you're in a great mood today, and nothing I'll get you down. Imagine winning the third song? All right, okay, come on, come on. I believe in your song number three for fun.

It's fun, jokes, fun.

Yeah, let's get loud by Jody. Let's get loud. Let's get loud.

Bye, come on, no.

Scared?

How have I not remembered her name?

Up?

Grow up, Alex, produce a black fright of help out.

That's okay, that's all right, producers like realizes it.

Sometimes you need to throw a dog of bone.

And also you've already won. Yeah, shut up?

What are you gonna have an argument over the dead rubber?

I promise I would get angry, but that's sort of behavior tips me.

Over the edge.

Gosh four, I guess.

Hey, we're gonna speak like Hugh Grant, who's gone on a ramp. So that just came to me.

I love that Hugh Grant went on a ranch.

Yeah, you Grant went on a rank.

So what a write this one doing a few of the rounds. This is a man who knows nothing else but to complain. Listen to him, just talking about day to day things in life.

One enormous pet peeve. That's all I do. I walk around the streets peeving. I don't like people walking slowly. I don't like people with backpacks. I don't like water bottles. What's the whole water bottle thing? Why do my children have to go to school with the water? They have to cart water across London? What's wrong with a drinking fountain? I mean, don't get me started. Or I don't like leaf blurs flowers.

I mean, for goodness sakes, we're the leaf blowers.

Well, leaf flowers on a Sunday morning everyone will attest are very very annoying at six a m h.

I mean, like, who's blowing a leaf blower at six am?

Have you got a leaf?

But yes, we do?

Actually yeah, yeah, that is spoken like a man who never uses.

Really really checked we did. On That means it's not at top of mind, but on to you. Grant? What about him Rubbishing possibly the greatest movie of all time? He's gone after notting Hill and in particular his carriage out William Thacker.

Who is one of the most beautiful, gentle souls that this earth has ever seen.

For example, which man uses this phrase say yes you did? He said whoop?

No one has said woos for what fifty years?

So here we go.

Get that's nice.

He has labeled William Thacker as despicable for the way that he treated actress and a Scott throughout the movie. Speaking to Vanity Fairs that seeing selection, he said, whenever I'm flicking the channels at home Mark a few drinks and this comes up, I think, why doesn't my character have any balls?

Come on you?

He's just a beautiful guy. And also he had the greatest housemate of all time.

This is me Speaky. I'm in contact with some quite important and spiritual.

So mad at Spiky when he accidentally dubbed them into the paparazzi.

Can you remember that, Yes, that's the Spiky You idiot? What are you doing?

Spike?

D you ruin the greatest romance of all time?

Great selection of T shirts. I will say that, yeah, that's true. But the only thing I will say about that movie it's a little bit unrealistic.

What what everyday man meets movie star and they fall in love.

Every day man from a small town bookshop falls in love and bed's the biggest movie star on the planet.

What's the problem with it.

I'm saying, I don't know how realistic it is.

Yeah, okay, but it's a good example of nice guys finishing first.