Many assume that once a mother has given birth through IVF that the experience must have been a beautiful one. But it isn’t always a happy ending for a couple. But in reality, it doesn’t quite work that way.

In this episode, Kay talks about some of the hidden factors that affect IVF mothers during the pregnancy in a stark, candid and deeply personal confession about the realities of being an IVF mother.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The constant state of apprehension during an IVF pregnancy can be troubling, as well as joyful. The constant checking on one’s own secretions, the repeated tests to make sure that pregnancy has even occurred, and even the lengthy courses of medication, can lead to an unhappy experience, when the miracle of pregnancy should be enjoyed and celebrated.

• Even practical concerns, such as buying baby clothes or equipment, becomes a dramatic decision. The pregnancy can sometimes feel so fragile, that these pleasures cannot be enjoyed.

• IVF mothers can even feel a reluctance to bond with the baby inside them when they kick, for fear of being even more heartbroken should the pregnancy not continue to full term.

• Sometimes you can be overcome by guilt for not having been able to conceive naturally. It can also lead to a feeling of non-possession when the baby is born; as though it will one day have to be returned.

• Finding peace with yourself is realising that these heightened concerns are most likely the concerns of any mother; IVF or natural.

• Learning to manage not just our tasks, but our outlook on these tasks, is the key to making peace with yourself.

• Guilt at yourself erodes your confidence about who you are, what you’re doing. It makes you feel unworthy, and can lead to a loss of identity.

BEST MOMENTS

‘It sometimes means holding your breath every time you go for a scan and they check for a heartbeat’

‘When you’re at the maternity unit, you are sitting in waiting rooms filled with women who have their innocence still intact’

‘You feel the constant battle of being happy and heartbroken all at one time’

‘Navigating through life with an IVF baby is exhausting’

‘Life at the beginning with them is all about feeding them, winding, crying with them, playing with them, worrying and simply marvelling at their beauty, and at the fact that they were once inside me’

‘All of this will become our memories. Memories are our recipe’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

 https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ivf-before-and-after-podcast/id1413710507?mt=2

ABOUT THE HOST

IVF Before and After was founded by Kay Dempsey. She created IVF Before and After, after many years spent researching and practising every possible way to conceive with IVF. Kay has created a global community with the use of podcasts she will share the stepping stones to empower your mindset, fuel your body organically and support you along your fertility journey.

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