Being fabulous can save your life. 


The Old Gays are a social media sensation: flamboyant outfits, lip synched dance parties, and risque theatrics you might not expect of men in their 70s and 80s. 



A lot of their media attention focuses on the joy they bring to all of us. But in their new book, The Old Gays’ Guide to the Good Life, they share a deeper story. This week on It’s OK, Bill, Bob, Mick, and Jessay talk about the missing generation of gay elders, and how being “discovered” late in life saved them. 



In this episode we cover: 


Finding beauty inside immense suffering
Why is it so hard to talk about devastating collective events - like AIDS and COVID - once the initial danger is over?
The role of luck in surviving when so many did not
Learning to love yourself first - at any age
Chosen family and the power of being truly seen for who you are - in good times and bad





Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.





Related episode: 

What’s It All For? Loss and Meaning In Midlife with Chip Conley





Follow our show on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok @refugeingrief and @itsokpod on TikTok. Visit refugeingrief.com for resources & courses





About our guests:

The Old Gays are best friends Mick Peterson, Bill Lyons, Robert Reeves, and Jessay Martin. Flamboyant social media celebrities - @oldgays - they’ve also become educators, teaching people about the strides that have been made over the last five decades in the LGBTQIA+ community. Get their new tell-all group memoir, The Old Gays Guide to the Good Life: Lessons Learned about Love and Death, Sex and Sin, and Saving the Best for LastFind them on IG at @theoldgays and on TikTok at @oldgays.



About Megan: 

Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief



Additional resources:

The San Francisco AIDS Foundation and UCSF house a lot of queer history related to the AIDS epidemic. 



National AIDS Memorial 



Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here. 



Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed



Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

Being fabulous can save your life.  
The Old Gays are a social media sensation: flamboyant outfits, lip synched dance parties, and risque theatrics you might not expect of men in their 70s and 80s. 
 
A lot of their media attention focuses on the joy they bring to all of us. But in their new book, The Old Gays’ Guide to the Good Life, they share a deeper story. This week on It’s OK, Bill, Bob, Mick, and Jessay talk about the missing generation of gay elders, and how being “discovered” late in life saved them. 
 
In this episode we cover: 
 
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Finding beauty inside immense suffering</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why is it so hard to talk about devastating collective events - like AIDS and COVID - once the initial danger is over?</li>
<li aria-level="1">The role of luck in surviving when so many did not</li>
<li aria-level="1">Learning to love yourself first - at any age</li>
<li aria-level="1">Chosen family and the power of being truly seen for who you are - in good times and bad</li>
</ul>
 
Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief <a href="http://refugeingrief.com/wyg">course here</a>. 
 
Related episode: 
<a href="https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-its-ok-that-youre-not-ok-89497701/episode/whats-it-all-for-loss-and-116080698/">What’s It All For? Loss and Meaning In Midlife with Chip Conley</a>
 
Follow our show on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/refugeingrief/">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/refugeingrief/">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/refugeingrief">Twitter</a>, and <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@refugeingrief">TikTok</a> @refugeingrief and <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@itsokpod">@itsokpod</a> on TikTok. Visit refugeingrief.com for resources &amp; courses
 
About our guests:
The Old Gays are best friends Mick Peterson, Bill Lyons, Robert Reeves, and Jessay Martin. Flamboyant social media celebrities - @oldgays - they’ve also become educators, teaching people about the strides that have been made over the last five decades in the LGBTQIA+ community. Get their new tell-all group memoir, <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9780063333604">The Old Gays Guide to the Good Life: Lessons Learned about Love and Death, Sex and Sin, and Saving the Best for Last</a> Find them on IG at <a href="https://www.instagram.com/theoldgays">@theoldgays</a> and on TikTok at <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@oldgays">@oldgays</a>.
 
About Megan: 
Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781622039074">It’s Ok that You’re Not OK</a>, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief
 
Additional resources:
The <a href="https://www.sfaf.org/">San Francisco AIDS Foundation</a> and <a href="https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2021/06/420686/40-years-aids-timeline-epidemic">UCSF</a> house a lot of queer history related to the AIDS epidemic. 
 
<a href="https://www.aidsmemorial.org/">National AIDS Memorial </a>
 
Want to talk with Megan directly? <a href="https://www.patreon.com/megandevine">Join our patreon community</a> for live monthly Q&amp;A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd0EjlSBXpJCil0TqCMp1sC-1SlWfBpC_jcVPOmrH5eJTMSFw/viewform">Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here</a>. 
 
Check out Megan’s best-selling books - <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781622039074">It’s OK That You're Not OK</a> and <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781683643708">How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed</a> 
 
Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 

With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.

New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief & follow the show @ItsOKPod

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 
With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.
New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief &amp; follow the show @ItsOKPod

It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 
With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.
New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief &amp; follow the show @ItsOKPod

The Old Gays Talk Life, Joy, and the Missing Generation of Gay Elders

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/c4b82847-c179-4d11-ac3a-b0a201525411/transcript