Have you ever put on a face mask, expecting it to solve all your mental health problems? 

That seems…unrealistic, but it’s what self-care marketing tells us: get your self-care right, and all your difficulties will evaporate. 

This week on It’s OK, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, author of Real Self-Care, breaks down what “self-care” actually means when we’re living in a complex, capitalistic world. It’s an exploration of grief, burnout, and exhaustion, and what it takes to care for yourself inside systems that repeatedly ignore their part in your suffering. 



In this episode we cover: 
Why self-care doesn’t work
How hope is different than optimism
Does looking for your own answers mean you have to do things alone?
Accepting help as a bid for connection
How Dr. Lakshmin’s definition of boundaries can help you practice real self-care



We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2023.



Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.



Follow the show on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok @refugeingrief



Related episodes:

Rage Becomes Her (and by “her” I mean US) with Soraya Chemaly



Living with Chronic Illness: A Conversation for Everyone with a Body with Sarah Ramey.





About our guest:

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin MD is a psychiatrist, a clinical assistant professor at George Washington University School of Medicine, and the founder and CEO of Gemma, the women’s mental health community centering impact and equity. She has spent thousands of hours taking care of women struggling with burnout, despair, depression, and anxiety in her clinical practice. Her debut non-fiction book,Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included), is available in e-book, hardcover, and audiobook narrated by Pooja.



About Megan: 

Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief



Additional Resources:

Read “Hope is Not a Thing to Have – It’s a Skill to Practice” at Oprah Daily



Read “How Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers” at The New York Times



Read “Saying ‘No’ Is Self-Care for Parents” at The New York Times



Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here. 



Check out Megan’s best-selling books -It’s OK That You're Not OK andHow to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

Have you ever put on a face mask, expecting it to solve all your mental health problems? 
That seems…unrealistic, but it’s what self-care marketing tells us: get your self-care right, and all your difficulties will evaporate. This week on It’s OK, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, author of <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9780593489727">Real Self-Care</a>, breaks down what “self-care” actually means when we’re living in a complex, capitalistic world. It’s an exploration of grief, burnout, and exhaustion, and what it takes to care for yourself inside systems that repeatedly ignore their part in your suffering. 
 
In this episode we cover: 
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why self-care doesn’t work</li>
<li aria-level="1">How hope is different than optimism</li>
<li aria-level="1">Does looking for your own answers mean you have to do things alone?</li>
<li aria-level="1">Accepting help as a bid for connection</li>
<li aria-level="1">How Dr. Lakshmin’s definition of boundaries can help you practice real self-care</li>
</ul>
 
We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2023.
 
Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief <a href="http://refugeingrief.com/wyg">course here</a>.
 
Follow the show on<a href="https://www.instagram.com/refugeingrief/"> Instagram</a>,<a href="https://www.facebook.com/refugeingrief/"> Facebook</a>,<a href="https://twitter.com/refugeingrief"> Twitter</a>, and<a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@refugeingrief"> TikTok</a> @refugeingrief
 
Related episodes:
<a href="https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-its-ok-that-youre-not-ok-89497701/episode/rage-becomes-her-and-by-her-108030869/">Rage Becomes Her (and by “her” I mean US) with Soraya Chemaly</a>
 
<a href="https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-its-ok-that-youre-not-ok-89497701/episode/living-with-chronic-illness-a-conversation-115630505/">Living with Chronic Illness: A Conversation for Everyone with a Body with Sarah Ramey</a>.
 
About our guest:
Dr. Pooja Lakshmin MD is a psychiatrist, a clinical assistant professor at George Washington University School of Medicine, and the founder and CEO of <a href="https://www.gemmawomen.com/">Gemma</a>, the women’s mental health community centering impact and equity. She has spent thousands of hours taking care of women struggling with burnout, despair, depression, and anxiety in her clinical practice. Her debut non-fiction book,<a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9780593489727"> Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included)</a>, is available in e-book, hardcover, and audiobook narrated by Pooja.
 
About Megan: 
Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781622039074">It’s Ok that You’re Not OK</a>, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief
 
Additional Resources:
Read <a href="https://www.oprahdaily.com/entertainment/books/a41283632/pooja-laskhmin-roe-v-wade/">“Hope is Not a Thing to Have – It’s a Skill to Practice” at Oprah Daily</a>
 
Read <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/04/parenting/working-mom-burnout-coronavirus.html">“How Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers” at The New York Times</a>
 
Read <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/16/parenting/burnout-boundaries.html">“Saying ‘No’ Is Self-Care for Parents” at The New York Times</a>
 
Want to talk with Megan directly? <a href="https://www.patreon.com/megandevine">Join our patreon community</a> for live monthly Q&amp;A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd0EjlSBXpJCil0TqCMp1sC-1SlWfBpC_jcVPOmrH5eJTMSFw/viewform">Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here</a>. 
 
Check out Megan’s best-selling books -<a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781622039074"> It’s OK That You're Not OK</a> and<a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781683643708"> How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed</a>
Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 

With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.

New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief & follow the show @ItsOKPod

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 
With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.
New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief &amp; follow the show @ItsOKPod

Advertisement