It’s been ten years since the massacre at Sandy Hook elementary where 20 children and 6 adults were murdered in an act of public gun violence. While we’ve got your attention in this flurry of ten year anniversary media reports, Sandy Hook parent survivor Nelba Márquez-Greene wants you to know what survival really looks like. 



This is a re-release of the first episode of season two. On this week’s show, Nelba and I discuss what it’s like to live such a public grief, and what it means to find joy - and hope - in an often violent world. 





In this episode we cover: 
Supporting each other: the difference between an “inside the house” friend and an “on the porch” friend. 
Why no single form of advocacy for survivors is right for all survivors 
What’s missing from our ideas about “resilience”
Where your money goes when you donate funds in the wake of a tragedy
The importance of telling your own story in the ways you want to tell it (no matter who demands a soundbite) 
What to do when the next act of gun violence happens





Notable quotes: 
“My son was eight when his sister was murdered. He has every reason to not hope. In this country, boys who look like him are murdered with impunity more often than we report. And my son still has hope. And that gives me great hope when I can't find it.” - Nelba Márquez-Greene
“What’s the aim of a media outlet, or a news outlet, when they tell a specific (often traumatic) story? Like, yes, they want clicks & advertising, but they need emotional impact to get those clicks. Do you know what has emotional impact? The f*cking truth.” - Megan Devine





About our guest: Nelba Márquez-Greene is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in grief, loss, trauma and their impact on individuals and systems. What her official bio doesn’t say is that her child was murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary. 



In 2018, she was profiled as one of “100 Women of Color” and a YWCA (CT) Women’s Leadership Award recipient. She was featured in People Magazine’s October 2019 issue as one of Ten Women Changing the World and also recognized by Chelsea Clinton and Hillary Clinton in their Book of Gutsy Women.



Find Nelba at thisgrievinglife.com

Follow her on Instagram and Facebook @anagraceproject

Follow her on Twitter at @Nelba_MG and @anagraceproject



Additional resources



There are many organizations fighting to end gun violence. Here are just a few: 

Moms Demand Action, Change the Ref, and Brady United. As Nelba suggested, if you want to support survivors of gun violence, find ways to support survivors in underserved communities, especially if their tragedy didn’t make the national news. 



Get in touch:



Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. 



Have a question, comment, or a topic you’d like us to cover? call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co



For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.co



For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, TW, and @hereafterpod on TT



Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

It’s been ten years since the massacre at Sandy Hook elementary where 20 children and 6 adults were murdered in an act of public gun violence. While we’ve got your attention in this flurry of ten year anniversary media reports, Sandy Hook parent survivor Nelba Márquez-Greene wants you to know what survival really looks like. 
 
This is a re-release of the first episode of season two. On this week’s show, Nelba and I discuss what it’s like to live such a public grief, and what it means to find joy - and hope - in an often violent world. 
 
In this episode we cover: 
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Supporting each other: the difference between an “inside the house” friend and an “on the porch” friend. </li>
<li aria-level="1">Why no single form of advocacy for survivors is right for all survivors </li>
<li aria-level="1">What’s missing from our ideas about “resilience”</li>
<li aria-level="1">Where your money goes when you donate funds in the wake of a tragedy</li>
<li aria-level="1">The importance of telling your own story in the ways you want to tell it (no matter who demands a soundbite) </li>
<li aria-level="1">What to do when the next act of gun violence happens</li>
</ul>
 
Notable quotes: 
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">“My son was eight when his sister was murdered. He has every reason to not hope. In this country, boys who look like him are murdered with impunity more often than we report. And my son still has hope. And that gives me great hope when I can't find it.” - Nelba Márquez-Greene</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">“What’s the aim of a media outlet, or a news outlet, when they tell a specific (often traumatic) story? Like, yes, they want clicks &amp; advertising, but they need emotional impact to get those clicks. Do you know what has emotional impact? The f*cking truth.” - Megan Devine</li>
</ul>
 
About our guest: <a href="https://www.thisgrievinglife.com/">Nelba Márquez-Greene</a> is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in grief, loss, trauma and their impact on individuals and systems. What her official bio doesn’t say is that her child was murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary. 
 
In 2018, she was profiled as one of “100 Women of Color” and a YWCA (CT) Women’s Leadership Award recipient. She was featured in People Magazine’s October 2019 issue as one of Ten Women Changing the World and also recognized by Chelsea Clinton and Hillary Clinton in their Book of Gutsy Women.
 
Find Nelba at <a href="https://www.thisgrievinglife.com/">thisgrievinglife.com</a>
Follow her on Instagram and Facebook <a href="https://www.instagram.com/anagraceproject/">@anagraceproject</a> 
Follow her on Twitter at <a href="https://twitter.com/Nelba_MG">@Nelba_MG</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/anagraceproject">@anagraceproject</a> 
 
Additional resources
 
There are many organizations fighting to end gun violence. Here are just a few: 
<a href="https://momsdemandaction.org/">Moms Demand Action</a>, <a href="https://changetheref.org/">Change the Ref,</a> and <a href="https://www.bradyunited.org/">Brady United. </a>As Nelba suggested, if you want to support survivors of gun violence, find ways to support survivors in underserved communities, especially if their tragedy didn’t make the national news. 
 
Get in touch:
 
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. 
 
Have a question, comment, or a topic you’d like us to cover? call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co
 
For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at <a href="http://www.megandevine.co/">www.Megandevine.co</a>
 
For grief support &amp; education, follow us at @refugeingrief on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/refugeingrief/">IG</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/refugeingrief">FB</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/refugeingrief">TW</a>, and @hereafterpod on <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@refugeingrief">TT</a>
 
Check out Megan’s best-selling books - <a href="http://refugeingrief.com/book">It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed</a>

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 

With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.

New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief & follow the show @ItsOKPod

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 
With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.
New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief &amp; follow the show @ItsOKPod

It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine

It’s Been Ten Years: What You Need to Know About Sandy Hook Survivors, with Nelba Márquez-Greene

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/9399b093-0528-44dd-bca6-af5500098619/transcript

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