The rags to riches success story is everywhere - usually with a side of trauma somewhere: the homeless child with mental health issues overcomes all the odds to win an Ivy league scholarship. After graduation, they continue to “rise above” their past by joining the world’s most famous tech company. If they can do it, anyone can. 



It’s a story we hear over and over again. But what if those transformation stories actually hide some deeply screwed up practices? Author Emi Nietfeld joins us to explore our beliefs about resilience, and our weird fascination with stories of triumph.



In this episode we cover: 


The main problem with “survival” memoirs
Who gets to survive? Who gets to thrive? Whose stories are believed? 
The underbelly of scholarship programs (hint: the more tragic your story, the more money you get)
why one successful person can undermine everyone else’s chances of being seen and believed
How the practice of motivational interviewing could change the course of mental healthcare





Content note: this episode includes discussion of eating disorders, self harm, and hospitalization





Notable quotes: 

“As a culture, we believe in this fantasy that anything bad can be made good, that no matter what we lose, what tragedies happen to us, we can - through our sheer force of will - twist them into something better. And that feels awful if you're the person who's lost something.” - Emi Nietfeld



About our guest:

Emi Nietfeld is the author of Acceptance, a memoir of survival that explores our beliefs about resilience, and our weird fascination with stories of triumph. Her essays have appeared in New York Times, Longreads, Vice, and Boulevard, they’ve been cited in The Best American Essays of 2021 and have been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. 



Find her at eminietfeld.com






Additional resources

The basics of motivational interviewing





Get in touch:

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. 



Have a question, comment, or a topic you’d like us to cover? call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co



For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.co



For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, TW, and @hereafterpod on TT



Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

The rags to riches success story is everywhere - usually with a side of trauma somewhere: the homeless child with mental health issues overcomes all the odds to win an Ivy league scholarship. After graduation, they continue to “rise above” their past by joining the world’s most famous tech company. If they can do it, anyone can. 
 
It’s a story we hear over and over again. But what if those transformation stories actually hide some deeply screwed up practices? Author Emi Nietfeld joins us to explore our beliefs about resilience, and our weird fascination with stories of triumph.
 
In this episode we cover: 
 
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">The main problem with “survival” memoirs</li>
<li aria-level="1">Who gets to survive? Who gets to thrive? Whose stories are believed? </li>
<li aria-level="1">The underbelly of scholarship programs (hint: the more tragic your story, the more money you get)</li>
<li aria-level="1">why one successful person can undermine everyone else’s chances of being seen and believed</li>
<li aria-level="1">How the practice of motivational interviewing could change the course of mental healthcare</li>
</ul>
 
Content note: this episode includes discussion of eating disorders, self harm, and hospitalization
 
Notable quotes: 
“As a culture, we believe in this fantasy that anything bad can be made good, that no matter what we lose, what tragedies happen to us, we can - through our sheer force of will - twist them into something better. And that feels awful if you're the person who's lost something.” - Emi Nietfeld
 
About our guest:
Emi Nietfeld is the author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0593489470?tag=randohouseinc7986-20">Acceptance</a>, a memoir of survival that explores our beliefs about resilience, and our weird fascination with stories of triumph. Her essays have appeared in <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/07/opinion/google-job-harassment.html">New York Times</a>, <a href="https://longreads.com/2019/12/11/self-portrait-as-a-human-interest-story/">Longreads</a>, <a href="https://www.vice.com/en/article/5948gb/bruxism-teeth-grinding-botox">Vice</a>, and <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5b4a699f9d5abb222d1f936a/t/5f5ace294f77101fe8b6d8ba/1599786540460/011-25+Nietfeld+Boulevard+S20.pdf">Boulevard</a>, they’ve been cited in The Best American Essays of 2021 and have been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. 
 
Find her at eminietfeld.com
 
Additional resources
The <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motivational_interviewing">basics of motivational interviewing</a> 
 
Get in touch:
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. 
 
Have a question, comment, or a topic you’d like us to cover? call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co
 
For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.co
 
For grief support &amp; education, follow us at @refugeingrief on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/refugeingrief/">IG</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/refugeingrief">FB</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/refugeingrief">TW</a>, and @hereafterpod on <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@refugeingrief">TT</a>
 
Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 

With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.

New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief & follow the show @ItsOKPod

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 
With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.
New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief &amp; follow the show @ItsOKPod

It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine

If I Survived, You Can Too! Author Emi Nietfeld on the Hollowness of the Transformation Narrative

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/9c820f8b-4c16-4437-b370-af530185a4cb/transcript

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