What do we lose when we’re not allowed to be angry? 



In a lot of ways, anger is more taboo than grief. They’re deeply related, as you’ll hear in this two-part episode: both grief and anger are considered “negative” emotions, things you shouldn’t feel, and definitely shouldn’t express in polite company. But what if reclaiming our anger was the way to build the world - and the relationships - we most want? 

All of that and more with the best selling author of Rage Becomes Her, Soraya Chemaly. 



In this two-part episode we cover: 


What is the right amount of anger?
Why deciding some emotions are “good” and some are “bad” isn’t really helpful 
What would “anger competence” or “anger literacy” look like? (and why would you want that??) 
Why Soraya says “most grief is ambiguous grief”
How the old split between the head (logic) and the heart (emotion) cuts us off from what we most want
Finding your best community by embracing your anger



We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2023.



Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.



About our guest:

Soraya Chemaly is an award-winning writer and activist whose work focuses on the role of gender in culture, politics, religion, and media. She is the Director of the Women’s Media Center Speech Project and an advocate for women’s freedom of expression and expanded civic and political engagement. A prolific writer and speaker, her articles appear in TIME, The Verge, The Guardian, The Nation, HuffPost, and The Atlantic. Find her best selling book, Rage Becomes Her at sorayachemaly.com. Follow her on social media @sorayachemaly



About Megan: 

Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief



Additional Resources:

We mention Pauline Boss in this episode. If you’re not familiar with her excellent work on ambiguous loss (a term she coined in the 1970s), check out her website at ambiguousloss.com



To read more about anger and how it relates to grief, check out It’s OK that You’re Not OK.



If you want to explore your anger with creative prompts and exercises, check out the guided journal for grief, How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed. 



Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here. 



Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

What do we lose when we’re not allowed to be angry? 
 
In a lot of ways, anger is more taboo than grief. They’re deeply related, as you’ll hear in this two-part episode: both grief and anger are considered “negative” emotions, things you shouldn’t feel, and definitely shouldn’t express in polite company. But what if reclaiming our anger was the way to build the world - and the relationships - we most want? All of that and more with the best selling author of <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781501189562">Rage Becomes Her</a>, Soraya Chemaly. 
 
In this two-part episode we cover: 
 
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">What is the right amount of anger?</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why deciding some emotions are “good” and some are “bad” isn’t really helpful </li>
<li aria-level="1">What would “anger competence” or “anger literacy” look like? (and why would you want that??) </li>
<li aria-level="1">Why Soraya says “most grief is ambiguous grief”</li>
<li aria-level="1">How the old split between the head (logic) and the heart (emotion) cuts us off from what we most want</li>
<li aria-level="1">Finding your best community by embracing your anger</li>
</ul>
 
We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2023.
 
Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief <a href="http://refugeingrief.com/wyg">course here</a>.
 
About our guest:
Soraya Chemaly is an award-winning writer and activist whose work focuses on the role of gender in culture, politics, religion, and media. She is the Director of the <a href="https://womensmediacenter.com/speech-project">Women’s Media Center Speech Project</a> and an advocate for women’s freedom of expression and expanded civic and political engagement. A prolific writer and speaker, her articles appear in TIME, The Verge, The Guardian, The Nation, HuffPost, and The Atlantic. Find her best selling book, <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781501189562">Rage Becomes Her</a> at <a href="http://www.sorayachemaly.com/">sorayachemaly.com</a>. Follow her on social media @sorayachemaly
 
About Megan: 
Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781622039074">It’s Ok that You’re Not OK</a>, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief
 
Additional Resources:
We mention Pauline Boss in this episode. If you’re not familiar with her excellent work on ambiguous loss (a term she coined in the 1970s), check out her website at <a href="https://ambiguousloss.com/">ambiguousloss.com</a>
 
To read more about anger and how it relates to grief, check out <a href="https://refugeingrief.com/books/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok">It’s OK that You’re Not OK</a>.
 
If you want to explore your anger with creative prompts and exercises, check out the guided journal for grief, <a href="https://refugeingrief.com/grief-journal/">How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed</a>. 
 
Want to talk with Megan directly? <a href="https://www.patreon.com/megandevine">Join our patreon community</a> for live monthly Q&amp;A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd0EjlSBXpJCil0TqCMp1sC-1SlWfBpC_jcVPOmrH5eJTMSFw/viewform">Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here</a>. 
 
Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 

With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.

New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief & follow the show @ItsOKPod

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 
With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.
New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief &amp; follow the show @ItsOKPod

It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine

Rage Becomes Her (and by “her” I mean US) with Soraya Chemaly

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/bf245470-4ec3-4e42-a7e3-b1210173dce6/transcript

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