Should you stop being “good”? 



According to the 7 deadly sins, a “good person” needs no rest, has no appetite, has no desires, puts themselves last, and is never upset. 



NYT best-selling author Elise Loehnen says we spend most of our energy denying the needs and instincts that make us human - like our needs for love, connection, success, and rest. 



It’s hard to be “ok” when you’ve spent a lifetime denying your own needs.





In this episode we cover: 
How the 7 deadly sins morphed into a rulebook for everyday life
Who does she think she is?! 
Is the sin of greed keeping you from making friends?
Why the most harmful thing you can do to a woman is destroy her reputation
Why don't we allow men to be sad? (it’s not what you think)
The grief in how much time you’ve lost trying to be good



Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.




“You can't interrupt the status quo alone. This is communal work.” - Elise Loehnen



Related episodes:

⁣Horse Barbie & Cultivating Trans Joy with Geena Rocero



Book Bans, Grief, and Love: What Do These Have to Do With Social Movements? with Malkia Devich-Cyril



Follow our show on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok @refugeingrief and @itsokpod on TikTok. Visit refugeingrief.com for resources & courses





About our guest:

Elise Loehnen is the author of the New York Times bestseller, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good.She’s written for The Oprah Magazine, Stylist, and The New York Times, and hosts the podcast, Pulling the Thread. Find her @eliseloehnen 



About Megan:

Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. The best-selling book on grief in over a decade, Megan’s It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, is a global phenomenon that has been translated into more than 25 languages. Her animations and explainers have garnered over 75 million views and are used in training programs around the world. Find her @refugeingrief



Additional resources:

Elise’s NYT best seller: On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good



Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here. 



Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed



Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

Should you stop being “good”? 
 
According to the 7 deadly sins, a “good person” needs no rest, has no appetite, has no desires, puts themselves last, and is never upset. 
 
NYT best-selling author Elise Loehnen says we spend most of our energy denying the needs and instincts that make us human - like our needs for love, connection, success, and rest. 
 
It’s hard to be “ok” when you’ve spent a lifetime denying your own needs.
 
In this episode we cover: 
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">How the 7 deadly sins morphed into a rulebook for everyday life</li>
<li aria-level="1">Who does she think she is?! </li>
<li aria-level="1">Is the sin of greed keeping you from making friends?</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why the most harmful thing you can do to a woman is destroy her reputation</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why don't we allow men to be sad? (it’s not what you think)</li>
<li aria-level="1">The grief in how much time you’ve lost trying to be good</li>
</ul>
 
Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief <a href="http://refugeingrief.com/wyg">course here</a>. 
 
“You can't interrupt the status quo alone. This is communal work.” - Elise Loehnen
 
Related episodes:
<a href="https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-its-ok-that-youre-not-ok-89497701/episode/horse-barbie-cultivating-trans-joy-119899896/">⁣Horse Barbie &amp; Cultivating Trans Joy with Geena Rocero</a>
 
<a href="https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-its-ok-that-youre-not-ok-89497701/episode/book-bans-grief-and-love-what-119490405/">Book Bans, Grief, and Love: What Do These Have to Do With Social Movements? with Malkia Devich-Cyril</a>
 
Follow our show on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/refugeingrief/">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/refugeingrief/">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/refugeingrief">Twitter</a>, and <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@refugeingrief">TikTok</a> @refugeingrief and <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@itsokpod">@itsokpod</a> on TikTok. Visit refugeingrief.com for resources &amp; courses
 
About our guest:
Elise Loehnen is the author of the New York Times bestseller, <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9780593243039">On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good</a>. She’s written for The Oprah Magazine, Stylist, and The New York Times, and hosts the podcast, Pulling the Thread. Find her @eliseloehnen 
 
About Megan:
Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. The best-selling book on grief in over a decade, Megan’s <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781622039074">It’s Ok that You’re Not OK</a>, is a global phenomenon that has been translated into more than 25 languages. Her <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2zLCCRT-nE">animations and explainers</a> have garnered over 75 million views and are used in training programs around the world. Find her @refugeingrief
 
Additional resources:
Elise’s NYT best seller: <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9780593243039">On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good</a>
 
Want to talk with Megan directly? <a href="https://www.patreon.com/megandevine">Join our patreon community</a> for live monthly Q&amp;A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd0EjlSBXpJCil0TqCMp1sC-1SlWfBpC_jcVPOmrH5eJTMSFw/viewform">Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here</a>. 
 
Check out Megan’s best-selling books - <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781622039074">It’s OK That You're Not OK</a> and <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/96103/9781683643708">How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed</a> 
 
Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 

With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.

New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief & follow the show @ItsOKPod

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 
With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.
New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief &amp; follow the show @ItsOKPod

It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine

Elise Loehnen: The 7 Deadly Sins and the Crown of Sadness

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/b6d61178-ce4c-4b7e-82eb-b07000369a03/transcript

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