Invasion of the Holiday Villains

Published Dec 11, 2024, 10:08 AM

Every villain has a story, but few involve tinsel, ornaments, and gingerbread houses. Join us as we dive into the unappreciated universe of holiday villains! From our beloved green diva, The Grinch, to the hairy, horned, holly-wearing beast Krampus, there’s always room for a little mischief this time of year.

You're a mean what.

Miss, who's the villain? You're like the director, that's sinister, You're sinister.

Maybe she's not a villain so much. Maybe we feel bad that the Wicked Witch died when when we're watching was It of Oz, you're happy that she died because she's a villain in that story.

Right, everything is perspective.

Sannah is actually the first villain. What's the frosty the snowman? I'm like, the villain is the weather.

What? Because he melts? Oh? Funny? You keep saying they're all the worst one. Which one is the worst one? Well, I don't think that there's such thing as good or bad for real. I think they're just good or bad actions. The true villain of Christmas is Crampos, Okay, he has no redemption story.

Launch Ladies, Germs, Germains, dermones German. It's welcome. This is a holiday season and we thought it would be interesting on the spaceship to talk about something that.

Perhaps we have not explored before, or maybe you.

Haven't thought about before, Holiday villains.

I mean, it's an amazing topic. It is an amazing topic.

Luckily, our producer Janelle gave us this amazing idea, and I think that it's incredible that in the time of the season and marry Mary, Mary, we think about the things that are scary, scary scary.

Oh yeah, that's right up your alley.

It really is.

Well, you know, I love I love Christmas. I love the holidays. Once Thanksgiving, like the week up to Thanksgiving started rolling about, I'm a different person. I think it's because I didn't really get to have I always had holidays as a kid, right, Like, we always had Christmas at my dad's house, at my mom's house. But I think because my holidays were split, and also my mom is not the big fan of holidays, I didn't get to have. You mean she's the crane. Yeah, well she's gotten a lot better. I'm not gonna lie to you. I saw her she was buying some decorations the other day and I was like, wow, we're riving off on her first villain. No, no kidding, but she you know, I respect it. She's like, this is created by a Hallmark and you know, there's no need to choose one day to be giving me giving all year long, which is like funny, but I see the logic behind behind her position. It's just not for her, but because of that, it's extra for me and I just love it. I love everything about it. I love the food, I love the weather changes. I love the movies, I love the music. I love the colors. Even though my Christmas tree is like gold and silver every single year, but whatever, but.

It's gorgeous and I love our Christmas tree and I love that.

I love our create.

The last thing Jem does before she goes to bed literally is a Christmas tree.

Off. Well, it's I love it. It really does spark joy. Marie Condo was onto something.

Yeah, and thank you for caring about that, Like, honestly, honor the people in your house who are able to bring this tradition forward.

Thank you, thank you.

The tree.

But also like that's something that you care about that I care about you doing, but I don't have the same motivation motivation that you do. Whoever out there is putting up your tree in your house. Thank you. Yeah. So, anyway, today we're talking about Christmas villain villain.

So I think the most famous, most revered and feared Christmas villain of all time is the Great Okay, but also like what an epic villain? What an epic villain go off Doctor Seuss. Yea, he has, just like all villains, the perfect origin story. And he was so sweet and so bullied and he just wanted love from Martha May and he didn't get it and he retreated. At least he still had love for animals with his little dog's nasty teeth. I love The Gridge. Okay, so why do you love the Gridge? Well, I love the film The Gride. I love who Villa, I love how I love I think that that movie there was a lot of movie magic, and I like how they created the whole universe and you, they really sold it to you.

I think that it's funny in any holiday movie that there has to be a villain, because even when you're oh, you doesn't.

Have to be a villain in a holiday movie. Okay, look at look at dear old Lizzie Lohan and her latest work of art. There's a villain. Who's the villain? You're like the director.

Geminy, No, I don't mean it like that, Like there's some kind of conflict in every movie, like, for.

Example, you need the climax, all right.

So there's a cartoon about this called Grandma got run over by a reindeer when you look it up. Literally, Cousin Mel spikes the gd Mamma's food with reindeer something that like reindeer, Like that's why she got run over by the reindeer. Wait what Yeah, because Cousin Mel was like, ah, I don't like Grandma. She's out she's the epitomal Christmas villain.

Okay, No, she's definitely not know that she's not the epitome of a Christmas villain. But it's good to know because I didn't know anything about that story or the song. Okay, So I do have a bone to pick, okay with our producer. Okay, because she tells me, oh, you're gonna love this. You should watch the movie, right, and to prepare for this episode, you should watch the new movie, she said, the new movie with Jim Carrey. What's it called, Like, I don't know. So we're talking about villain. So we look up names of new Christmas movies and I'm like Crampa. She's like Crampas. You should watch Crampus. I'm like, all right, fine, I'm thinking I'm signing myself up for a comedy something just Maskie and Grinchy and just like Jim Carrey and I, to my dismay, to my great dismay, it's a horror film. It is a real life horror film with real life frightening scenes that I had to ask em to lower the volume in the movie because I couldn't watch. Okay, like this massively horned demon. By the way, if you don't know who Crampus is, he's literally like this demon. He's Santa's shadow, He's the anti Santa. And he's this massive, hideous, horned being with all this super long tongue of this terrible face and these big hoofs. And in one of the scenes, this little girl's just like out going through the snow because they're snowed in from a storm, and he's like boo boo boom, running across roofs, across different roofs, only for her to come across a truck right with a dead man in it, and then she's hiding under the truck. You know, there's the scariest parts because you're like, oh my god, he's gonna pull her out. He'snna pull out, He's gonna pu out. Yeah right, yeah right, words out of nowhere appears this jack of the box, this demonic Jack of the box. Okay, that essentially the music starts, it pops out, and then it eats her. It eats her alive. That doesn't belong in Christmas. Whoever said there should be an intersection of holiday and horror it should be fine?

Here, I am high should I have found my new favorite genre of movie, horrible holiday horror. It is the most amazing a hey, bad movie I've ever seen.

Like turn the volume rond, like, oh.

My god, this is hilarious. I can't believe this moment right now, my publics are just told me that she never watched the movie.

Well, don't need to now, because I can just you and you'll pick up input right here. Jem literally being like GM boos, What the fuck is Grampus cramp Down?

First of all, forget the Grinch. The true villain of Christmas is Crampos. Okay, he has no he has no redemption story. He's not like ebb No or the Grinch. At the end of the movie, he then, you know, becomes a good guy. No, No, cram is literally he walks around with chains, chains with with the jingle bells around them as a reminder of his connection to Hell. He literally opens the opens this floor up right the way the movie ends. Sorry, I'm happy to ruin it for you. And he shoves this whole family in hell and then they wake up thinking it's a dream and they're actually all just captured in a slow globe that he collects.

No.

Crempus is, by far of it the worst Christmas villain ever. He is at the top of the list. I love it. Yeah, I think it's great. I'm glad.

More so than anything, I love gem Accidentally coming into a horror movie.

I was excited.

She's like, let's watch Grandpoos. I'm like, let's do it Christmas movie. The first like twenty twenty five minutes are the first.

Like twenty minutes.

There's like, I'm just like, excuse me, Gems like Tony Collette, Yeah, actors, okay, h the actor from Sweat Tooth, the actor from Sweet Toooths, and also the guy from Parks and rec Yeah. And I'm like, wow, these actors signed up. And then the more that the got chills because it's amazing, because it's so bad that.

It's so good.

After a while it got like a little ridiculous, like you know, like like villainous gingerbread cookies. Come on, but I mean it's but at the beginning, you did have some tough scene was amazing.

That scene where they shot the gingerbread cookies with a shotgun.

That was unbelievable. You and I have different definitions, if I'm okay.

Well, anyway, the point is that for every good story there seems to be a villain. The Grinch, obviously, like we touched upon, is our favorite villain. There's a reason why he's that way, which is every villain's origin story.

Yeah, the worst villain is for sure. But let's talk about Ebenezer Screw. I love him. I love your Screw. Look, Ebonez, your Scrooge is like the staple good guy turned bad. Why he Ebenezer Scrooge is alpha ba? Okay, okay, explain because alpha Ba, like Ebenezer Scrooge, didn't start off wicked or evil. Okay. He was bullied, he was isolated, he was abandoned by his family. He started to grow this this this disdain and this bad taste for Christmas as a result of real life childhood trauma that he had. Spicy trauma Box. Spicy trauma Box. He didn't resolve that shit that's why when Bella, his fiance, came along, that obviously went up in flames, because the man started to find only value in his money and in his growing his wealth and growing his finances, and he essentially forgot about her, which, like this line of the story kills me, where she says, I release you. I release you. She says to him, I release you. Our contract is old, like our you know, our our contract in love is old. And obviously there was no room for her in his life anymore. Although side note, I you kind of feel like Marlee, his old business partner, and him were kind of like undercovered.

Going on there because we saw the nineteen thirties version and the two thousand and eight exactly. Well I didn't see I saw two thousand today, but yeah, we saw the thirties one last night.

I was like, there's I don't know he he he's really mourning the loss of his business partner, and like maybe that's part of it, but I do think that there was something else there. But yeah, Ebonnezer Scrooge, poor guy, and and what a story for him to just go around, go along life and see God, what the impact of his actions, the impact of his upbringing what life would be like afterwards, and then the thought of essentially dying alone and worse people not missing him but celebrating his absence caused him to realize that he was showing up poorly. And then he redeems himself and he's like this lovely chipper. Well, yeah, exactly similar stories. He's just you know, he has a redemption story. So what's the purpose of a villain? What do you mean? Yeah, like like contextually, yeah, or conceptually, I mean, like why do we even like if you need the villain in order to have the right, but.

If the villain becomes the good person, right.

Well, I don't think that there's such thing as good or bad for real. I think they're just good or bad actions. And a lot of people who are bad. Maybe there are exceptions to this rule because humans have proven that they're capable of anything. But I think that even most people that we would view as bad had a villain origin story where they were good and they were wronged either by a parent or their friends, or something happened to them, and there they essentially went in the complete other direction.

Oh yeah, I get I guess at that process, I mean, like at the end of the day. The villains quote unquote that we see in movies end up actually getting a happy ending, not always okay, Name a Christmas villain who hasn't gotten a happy ending.

A Christmas villain, What do you mean happy holiday villain who because Crampus's ending was happy for him. I'm assuming him and his snow glowsai collection of families. No, but I think that's a that's a really abstract answer. But you need villains in order to have heroes. It's like you need darkness in order to have I agree with you.

I just think that it's ironic that most people love to see the villains. I think that it's interesting in the day that we're living talk about Wicked, right, Like Wicked is the predecessor to something that we already know and love, right, and we already assigned a villain to Wizard of Oz.

But when we know Wicked now, we're like, oh, that's what origin story.

Maybe maybe she's not a villain so much. Maybe we feel bad that the good Witch died, when when we're watching was It of Oz, you're happy that she died because she's a villain in that story.

Right, Everything is perspective right, so I feel like we have this. I don't know. It's like those those things artists that will collect like little choskis. Have you seen that online? Well, they'll collect like a feather and a coin and a button, but they'll layer it in three D in such a way that it creates an image or like it's a bird. It's not a bird, it's a needle and in a twig and it just yeah, it's all perspective.

I just meant like the audience's need to have some kind of villain.

It's fascinating, a climax. You need the climax that conflict in the story. And who better than the antithesis of your hero like Crempus. No, I'm never gonna get over that. Okay, what about what about oldies?

Okay, like old school. Oh that's not that villain.

Harry, Harry and Harry and Marv the wet Bandits there, they are the Christmas villain. They are Christmas mellings. I bet you they have origin stories too. And also there's a lot of people like them, like you know robbers that that burglarized to look at all those people those Amazon packages.

For real, what are they called porch pirates, Porch pirates.

Porch pirates. Wow, that makes so much sense. I like that though, that's what they call it'll deserve.

That anyway, amazing freaking Christmas movie, which, yes, if you're watching, you're like neo.

There they are.

Those are the villains of that movie.

Yeah, and they don't have a redemption story either, But like, I don't care about them too much. It's not the same. It's not like the Oogie Boogie Man Night remember before Christmas scary. He's really terrible. Yeah, I like his character too. Okay, but when I said old, I met like older, like Santa Claus is coming to town Burger meister meister Berger or Rudolph trip's over a toy and then outlaws toys. Oh no, Rudolph. The whole freaking movie is villains.

Guess who's the villain more than anybody?

Santa Claus unbelievable, literally two daughter, biggest villain daughter. He should be ashamed of his child. First of all, it's racist, it's literally racist. They won't let Rudolph play any games. And because he has a because he has a.

Red nose, Santa is actually the first villain.

No, yes, he wasn't the first, at least in Rudolph. No, no, no, no. But I see where you're going there. Yeah, oh that movie was sad. But come on, the Oogie Boogeyman literally kidnapped Santa Claus. Yeah, that's the worst one. You keep saying they're all the worst one. Which one is the worst one?

It's crampis that's the best?

The best time watching? You hate that? It was horrible? Oh my god. And here's the problem, right, because like, I have to go to the end.

So I think I was.

Seeing Janelle in every language because I was like, I have to finish watching this now, I've already started it.

She said, I'm sorry, can you turn that down so we can finish watching this?

I'm sorry, can you.

Turn the volume off?

Can you turn the volume off so I could watch the rest of this damn movie without hating my life? I just don't enjoy it. I don't enjoy being scared for sport. That's you, I do.

Yeah, I know, but clearly in the holidays we still have a reason to be scared. Yeah, okay, do you remember Jack Frost.

Ooh see, I loved those movies. I sort of remember.

There's a very big villain there. It's the anti Santa.

Oh, Freddy Allen snitch black. What was his offense? I don't remember.

His offense is he is the anti Santa in Jack Frost. Literally everything he touches, everything that's magical that he touches, turns black and turns to cole and turns to like badness.

He just makes everything bad. Oh, I don't remember that. I should watch that one.

It's fucked up in preparation for this episode. I saw it, and I'm not happy with what I saw Jack.

Frost, or you saw that scene.

I saw Jack Frost and what he does as a villain, which I hate. Makes me sad actually, But that's to your point about what we're talking about. That the fact that like in every kind of like positive moment, you kind of need a villain.

Well you don't need it, but yes, it definitely helps to further the story.

Tell me a story that doesn't have a villain.

Sometimes I don't necessarily like stories that have villains. Sometimes people are do a fine job of messing stuff up on their own with nobody has help. Well, you heard it here. You don't need to point your finger at someone.

You could probably just look in the mirror. What's the frosty the snowman. I'm like, the villain is the weather?

What? Yeah, because he melts? Oh funny, that was cute. That was cute. The villain is the weather. I love that the sun? How dare you? Literally? How dare you? How dare you? I remember telling you this last night, and I just want to say it because I just think it's so funny. Okay, when is Crampis Night? When is the celebration Crampas Night broke Ely's birth?

I can't get over the Crampus? You guys, you don't understand.

Like apparently people dress up as Crampus and parade through the streets scaring on look like Belchnickel.

Belchnickel is the original German sound.

Who your kids?

Like?

El gogo where we started?

But anyway, the point is that, yes, so Jem was like in this whole shit and I'm cracking up because I thought this was so funny.

I think that you didn't think the movie was funny. I think you thought my suffering was No. I thought the movie was hilarious.

I thought that it was so amazing that they hired these incredible actors so Anyway, while we're watching the movie and I'm literally making fun of Jem because she's scared of the Crampis, she goes.

Oh my god, what's the day of the.

Crampis crampist night, I said, dezamber Fief, it's my birthday.

I am the Grampus. Literally, you were not the crampst Yes, you wish.

I would love to wear a Santa hatan chains around my neck and just do what I do.

I am the Crampus and whip children with birch sticks and chain them and essentially have the fiery pits of hell swallow them whole.

They end up in the snowlishment. As long as they end up in the snow glope, they're still alive.

We're good.

That's horrible, Emily, that's sinister. You're sinister, all right, before we leave you.

We can't forget the most important Christmas villain anybody.

I keep saying that, the abominable Snowman. Oh why is he? Why is he? Where is he? What movie? What story is he in? Or is he just like folklore? He's folklore like Bigfoot. He's a monsters inc.

Well, he's in Monsters Inc. Now, But he's folklore.

He's lore. That's the whole thing.

It's like the Abominable Snowman, and that's the original villain.

Well, he's like Bigfoot, which honestly, they don't want to eat people. What's he eats children? Anyway?

The Abominable Snowman is like Bigfoot, somebody who is the original lore? Right? That could be seen in the snow in a big storm when you can't see outside and everything's kind of wishy washing. You see wishy washing Prince going along the snow and you see something going through. That's the Abominable Snowman.

That's him.

He's coming to eat you.

Yeah, he still has nothing on Crampus. No, Yeah, that's like the villain of all villains.

I was gonna say, like we've gone up and down on everything, but I don't think we've talked enough about the Grinch. That's my favorite Christmas villain, just like yours.

I think it's yeah, I think it's everybody's Okay, what do you want to talk about? I just feel like I don't know. I feel like it's just a lovely story and movie. And you know who doesn't who doesn't grow up reading Doctor Seus's books. I mean, probably plenty of people, but yeah, I don't know. There there's there's the child the childhood element connection to it from the books and of course the film.

Do you think that people like the Grinch because he ultimately is not the Grinch? What if the Grinch was grumpy.

All alone, like just remained grumpy like never read, people still love him the same? No, I don't think so. I think that they saw his human side and his empathy and then they it had a happy ending. Who doesn't love it? His heart grew three times bigger? So are there really any villains? Yes, crempis, I don't know why you keep having to go in circles. I said it since the beginning. Guys, please watch movie. It's or don't ridiculous is nowhere near it? Okay, case you're wondering ridiculously delicious.

By the way, before we leave you, guys, did we ever find out who actually played the Crampus hoved? Excuse me like Jem called him or her hooved bitch?

No, that's not fair. It's because you asked me who who was who? Which character I was afraid of? So basically we don't know who played the cramps But that's absolutely irrelevant. The point is that it was not Jim Carrey.

The point is that you were led to believe it was Jim Carrey, and and I was happy.

I even brought up my Roudolph mix. Target doesn't pay me to say that mix is amazing. It is as little white chocolate covered cereals and little tiny Reese's Pieces and little tiny Eminems and little tiny puppy chow and little tiny gram crackers. O what's young.

The point is, at the end of the day, every story has some kind of a conflict if not named a villain. Even at the holidays. I have discovered my new favorite genre, which is holiday horror. I really enjoyed it so much.

Have fun with that one.

I really enjoyed it. But more so than that, it's just about enjoying movies and the fact that, like like The Grinch, which came from a book.

To a movie to a movie to a movie to a movie. Yeah, they have like the Seven animated.

A good story evolves like Ebenezer Scrooge. When you and I sat down last night to watch that nineteen thirties version, I was in awe because I was learning about how people do cinema in that time and how people understand comedy and how people understand villains. Well, I hope all of your holidays end with a happy ending.

Yeah.

Clearly we have divulged enough here of unhappy endings.

But at the end of the day, that's life. Yeah, preach back to the jolly spirit of Christmas.

Oh my god, thinking of the jolly spirit of Christmas and.

Everybody's favorite space news network, space News.

The boy's louder than you of somehow.

All right, on this very jolly space news I have exciting news for everybody out there in the universe.

All right.

An industry group is changing its name ever so slightly to more accurately reflect its work across the more commercial space industry. The Commercial Space Flight Federation announced December third it's changing its name from Brielle to Brianne. Hmmm, okay, why, I don't know. I just report the news. Next, world's second fastest supercomputer runs largest ever simulation on the universe ever, ever, literally, you know how fast a supercomputer is fast, not to be confused with the world first fastest supercomputer, which is only fans mainframe.

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The Blade Star? Why the overdue news star t Coronet Borealis has yet to light up the new sky? Rumor has it the reason is Snoop Dogg's lack of interest in the project.

What's funny? That's good?

I just report the news. There's a reason why. Line I got to a punchline.

Why is it lighting up the sky because Snoop dog doesn't have interest?

I love that.

No, it's good, it's great. I love the news. I just reported. I love it.

And this has been.

All right? Well, wow, clearly if you've learned anything from this episode, it would be to watch the crampis no learn more about snow.

Please don't do that to yourself. There's no need. There's no need. Watch The Happy, The Happy Screwed.

The GRINCHA Carrol is doable.

What's your favorite Christmas movie over here? I don't know, No, how about yours? I don't think I have one. I love them all you asked me, and then I love Klaus one, Klaus two, Klaus three. I love them all. Wait, what's the guy in Klaus? The guy Tom Allan? Everybody loves Tim Allan. Yeah, it's good, they're good. I like the one. I like the one where he's a postman, where that's the kid helping Santa.

Oh yeah, okay, my favorite is a Christmas vacation national lampoon.

There you go. There it is, though, Horblone all the home alone? Soose are so good? Elf? You shoot your Elphis?

Oh my god, we haven't talked about what's the villain in Elf?

No villain, there's still villain. He just you for watching it so many times.

Well, if you've been along with us so far and we've missed some Christmas villains, please tell us because you know how much I enjoyed gem hating the Crampus, So give us some more Christmas villains. But in the meantime, don't be a Christmas villain. Be a Christmas protagonist and just enjoy our podcast is here? Yeah, just be a Christmas hero. And if you're a Christmas hero, then you would follow us on our socials.

In our own worlds pod. Love it.

Yeah, and don't be a ho ho ho. I didn't say a boat word.

I just said ho ho ho. I love Christmas, me too, love you baby, Merry Christmas. I do love Rudolf. Better let him play your games all right?

Goodbye, guys, love it bye clearly today the villains have gotten See you next week.

We love you by.

Launch. This podcast is brought to you by Moonflower Productions in partnership with iheartsmichaela podcast network. For more podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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