Continuing our mission to support mental health via I’m Listening, today we are joined by award-winning public speaker, author, and podcast host Gabe Howard.

Audacy's Kennedy from Mix 104.1 in Boston recently sat down with Inside Mental Health podcast host and author of Mental Illness Is an A**hole, Gabe Howard to discuss his recently released guide, number 1 educational show, podcast, and making sure to stay flexible in his own mental health journey.

“I was a prolific writer; I started off as a blogger; I've been a mental health advocate for a long time and I wrote lots and lots and lots of stuff,” Gabe briefs us of his long list of credentials. However, he says “At one point, a publisher came to me and said, ‘We want to take some of your best blogs, give them a little retooling -- and shove them in a book in some order that people can use as a reference guide.’ And I said, ‘No, that's stupid. That's the dumbest thing ever. They're free on the internet. Why would anybody pay for this?’”

“I'm really protective of my people, right?” he explains. “People with mental illness get taken advantage of a lot. There's always people selling them cures and solutions, and it really tripped me up.” But now that the finished product has been revealed -- with everything in one place at one easy price -- Kennedy says it’s on her Kindle “forever.”

“I was so completely wrong,” Gabe admits. “People tell me they love carrying it around, they love highlighting it, they love writing notes in the margins… When it first came out, people were posing with it online and they're like, ‘Finally, finally somebody gets it!’ It's taken on this whole other life.”

“Flexibility is underrated,” Gabe adds. “I think sometimes people think that they're being ‘firm’ or ‘consistent’ or ‘solid,’ but actually they're just not going anywhere. You know, trees are solid as well, but they have to stand in the same place forever. It doesn't sound like a lot of fun.”

Addressing the elephant that can sometimes be in the room when around friends and family who are seeing a loved one struggle with anxiety or depression, Howard acknowledges how that can feel like an additional burden. “I think that's important to let our friends and family know -- they want to help because they don't want to feel bad and we don't want to tell them they suck at this because we don't want them to feel bad.”

“So everybody is operating from this great place of kindness, compassion, and empathy, but it doesn't matter, no matter how hard you try. If you mix gas and water, you're gonna get an explosion, you just can't make those two things get along,” he explains. “I learned from being married that when my wife comes home from work all ticked off, I need to ask her if she wants advice or does she want to vent, does she want me to help her fix it, or does she just want to talk about it? I think that's really good advice for the people in our lives.”

“We don't need them necessarily to do anything about it,” he adds, “and when we do need them to do something about it, we need them to do more than just tell us it's going to be OK.”

Listen to Kennedy's full chat with Gabe Howard above and find Gabe's Inside Mental Health podcast on the free Audacy app.

Audacy's I’m Listening initiative aims to encourage those who are dealing with mental health issues to understand they are not alone. If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression or anxiety, know that someone is always there. Additionally, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 988. Find a full list of additional resources here.

Words by Joe Cingrana Interview by Kennedy