What if your most formative identity traits come from people you didn’t grow up with?

In this powerful episode of Identified, rapper and queer icon Cakes Da Killa reflects on growing up in Teaneck, New Jersey, raised by his teenage mother and grandmother. He shares openly about the complexities of reconciling with an absent father, discovering inherited traits in unexpected family members, and why — as a queer person — chosen family has always played a central role in his life.

This episode touches on:


Intergenerational strength from women in his family


The slow repair of fractured paternal relationships


The trauma of losing family homes and generational wealth


The nuance of chosen vs. biological family


And why his mother’s strength remains his biggest inspiration

With clarity, wit, and raw honesty, Cakes shows that family — like identity — is something you get to define on your own terms.

What if your most formative identity traits come from people you didn&rsquo;t grow up with?
In this powerful episode of Identified, rapper and queer icon Cakes Da Killa reflects on growing up in Teaneck, New Jersey, raised by his teenage mother and grandmother. He shares openly about the complexities of reconciling with an absent father, discovering inherited traits in unexpected family members, and why &mdash; as a queer person &mdash; chosen family has always played a central role in his life.
This episode touches on:
<ul data-start="963" data-end="1247">
<li data-start="963" data-end="1018">
Intergenerational strength from women in his family
</li>
<li data-start="1019" data-end="1074">
The slow repair of fractured paternal relationships
</li>
<li data-start="1075" data-end="1136">
The trauma of losing family homes and generational wealth
</li>
<li data-start="1137" data-end="1183">
The nuance of chosen vs. biological family
</li>
<li data-start="1184" data-end="1247">
And why his mother&rsquo;s strength remains his biggest inspiration
</li>
</ul>
With clarity, wit, and raw honesty, Cakes shows that family &mdash; like identity &mdash; is something you get to define on your own terms.

Welcome to 'Identified', a podcast hosted by Nabil Ayers, music executive and author of 'My Life in the Sunshine'. This show explores the intricate and often complicated world of family and identity.

In his memoir, Nabil shared his journey of understanding his mixed-race identity, navigating a distant relationship with his father, renowned jazz musician Roy Ayers, and discovering new family connections. 'Identified' continues this exploration, broadening the scope to encompass universal themes of family dynamics.

Join Nabil as he engages in heartfelt conversations that traverse cultural histories, the impact of non-traditional childhoods, and the ways our relationships shape our identities. Through personal stories, the show confronts the challenges of loss and grief, while celebrating the unique bonds that define us. Each episode seeks to answer the profound question: What is family?

Discover remarkable stories from individuals of diverse backgrounds as 'Identified' unravels the complexities that make family so unique.

The executive producer for 'Identified' is Kieron Banerji, and is produced by Palm Tree Island.

Welcome to 'Identified', a podcast hosted by Nabil Ayers, music executive and author of 'My Life in the Sunshine'. This show explores the intricate and often complicated world of family and identity.
In his memoir, Nabil shared his journey of understanding his mixed-race identity, navigating a distant relationship with his father, renowned jazz musician Roy Ayers, and discovering new family connections. 'Identified' continues this exploration, broadening the scope to encompass universal themes of family dynamics.
Join Nabil as he engages in heartfelt conversations that traverse cultural histories, the impact of non-traditional childhoods, and the ways our relationships shape our identities. Through personal stories, the show confronts the challenges of loss and grief, while celebrating the unique bonds that define us. Each episode seeks to answer the profound question: What is family?
Discover remarkable stories from individuals of diverse backgrounds as 'Identified' unravels the complexities that make family so unique.
The executive producer for 'Identified' is Kieron Banerji, and is produced by Palm Tree Island.

Identified with Nabil Ayers

Welcome to 'Identified', a podcast hosted by Nabil Ayers, music executive and author of 'My Life in the Sunshine'. This show explores the intricate and often complicated world of family and identity.
In his memoir, Nabil shared his journey of understanding his mixed-race identity, navigating a distant relationship with his father, renowned jazz musician Roy Ayers, and discovering new family connections. 'Identified' continues this exploration, broadening the scope to encompass universal themes of family dynamics.
Join Nabil as he engages in heartfelt conversations that traverse cultural histories, the impact of non-traditional childhoods, and the ways our relationships shape our identities. Through personal stories, the show confronts the challenges of loss and grief, while celebrating the unique bonds that define us. Each episode seeks to answer the profound question: What is family?
Discover remarkable stories from individuals of diverse backgrounds as 'Identified' unravels the complexities that make family so unique.
The executive producer for 'Identified' is Kieron Banerji, and is produced by Palm Tree Island.

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