What if your most formative identity traits come from people you didn’t grow up with?

In this powerful episode of Identified, rapper and queer icon Cakes Da Killa reflects on growing up in Teaneck, New Jersey, raised by his teenage mother and grandmother. He shares openly about the complexities of reconciling with an absent father, discovering inherited traits in unexpected family members, and why — as a queer person — chosen family has always played a central role in his life.

This episode touches on:

• Intergenerational strength from women in his family

• The slow repair of fractured paternal relationships

• The trauma of losing family homes and generational wealth

• The nuance of chosen vs. biological family

• And why his mother’s strength remains his biggest inspiration

With clarity, wit, and raw honesty, Cakes shows that family — like identity — is something you get to define on your own terms.