Summary

Most of us can probably think of something we'd like to change in our marriage. Maybe we keep having the same argument, feel disconnected after years of focusing on work or the kids, or simply wish we had more fun together. But what if making our marriages better doesn't have to be as complicated as we sometimes think?

In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff share the first three of six practical steps they've discovered through their research on highly happy marriages. They explore why we need to learn from couples who are doing marriage well, how small habits practiced consistently can make a surprisingly big difference, and why giving ourselves and our spouses grace is so important as we learn and grow.

Along the way, they share fascinating findings about the power of verbal affirmation, why celebrating small wins matters, and how a simple shift in the way we view our marriage can change the way we approach challenges.

The encouraging news? You don't have to overhaul your entire marriage overnight. Sometimes the biggest changes begin with one small thing you choose to do differently today—and then keep doing tomorrow.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Small Changes That Can Improve Your Marriage
01:30 Step 1: Learn From Marriage Role Models
04:44 What Shaunti and Jeff Discovered Studying Happy Couples
06:55 The Surprising Power of Saying "Thank You"
09:24 Why We Need Real-Life Marriage Mentors
13:16 Step 2: Practice Small Habits Consistently
15:06 Why Little Things Matter More Than Grand Gestures
16:57 How Consistency Creates Lasting Change
19:22 The Power of Small Wins
21:52 Noticing and Affirming Your Spouse's Efforts
23:47 Step 3: Give Yourself and Your Spouse Grace
27:28 How Small Habits Can Change the Way You See Yourself
29:33 Shifting From an "Eject Button" to a Lifelong Mindset
32:36 Why Happy Couples Learn to Let Things Go
33:31 The Biggest Takeaway: Start With One Small Thing

Resources

The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages by Shaunti Feldhahn

For Women Onlyby Shaunti Feldhahn

For Men Onlyby Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

Invite Shaunti to Speak

Would you like to explore having Shaunti speak at your next event? Whether you're planning a marriage event, women's gathering, retreat, or conference, we'd love to connect! Email speaking@shaunti.com or visit shaunti.com/speaking to learn more.

Summary
Most of us can probably think of something we'd like to change in our marriage. Maybe we keep having the same argument, feel disconnected after years of focusing on work or the kids, or simply wish we had more fun together. But what if making our marriages better doesn't have to be as complicated as we sometimes think?
In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff share the first three of six practical steps they've discovered through their research on highly happy marriages. They explore why we need to learn from couples who are doing marriage well, how small habits practiced consistently can make a surprisingly big difference, and why giving ourselves and our spouses grace is so important as we learn and grow.
Along the way, they share fascinating findings about the power of verbal affirmation, why celebrating small wins matters, and how a simple shift in the way we view our marriage can change the way we approach challenges.
The encouraging news? You don't have to overhaul your entire marriage overnight. Sometimes the biggest changes begin with one small thing you choose to do differently today&mdash;and then keep doing tomorrow.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction: Small Changes That Can Improve Your Marriage 01:30 Step 1: Learn From Marriage Role Models 04:44 What Shaunti and Jeff Discovered Studying Happy Couples 06:55 The Surprising Power of Saying "Thank You" 09:24 Why We Need Real-Life Marriage Mentors 13:16 Step 2: Practice Small Habits Consistently 15:06 Why Little Things Matter More Than Grand Gestures 16:57 How Consistency Creates Lasting Change 19:22 The Power of Small Wins 21:52 Noticing and Affirming Your Spouse's Efforts 23:47 Step 3: Give Yourself and Your Spouse Grace 27:28 How Small Habits Can Change the Way You See Yourself 29:33 Shifting From an "Eject Button" to a Lifelong Mindset 32:36 Why Happy Couples Learn to Let Things Go 33:31 The Biggest Takeaway: Start With One Small Thing
Resources
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Surprising-Secrets-Highly-Happy-Marriages/dp/1601421214/?tag=shaunticom-20">The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages</a> by Shaunti Feldhahn
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Women-Only-Revised-Updated-About/dp/1601424442/?tag=shaunticom-20">For Women Only</a> by Shaunti Feldhahn
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Men-Only-Revised-Updated-Straightforward/dp/1601424450/?tag=shaunticom-20">For Men Only</a> by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn
Invite Shaunti to Speak
Would you like to explore having Shaunti speak at your next event? Whether you're planning a marriage event, women's gathering, retreat, or conference, we'd love to connect! Email speaking@shaunti.com or visit shaunti.com/speaking to learn more.

Relationship tripwires. Mental health puzzles. Confusing work dynamics. You’re not the only one scratching your head. But now you have a secret decoder ring! Each episode of I Wish You Could Hear This is packed with proven, simple, and surprising secrets that help you thrive in life, faith, and relationships. Researchers Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn have spent decades interviewing and surveying more than 40,000 people to identify the little things that make a big difference in our lives. They’re Harvard-educated, Christian authors and speakers who also happen to be happily married, analytically minded, and a whole lot of fun! Join them and their guests for real stories, real help, and real hope.

I Wish You Could Hear This

Relationship tripwires. Mental health puzzles. Confusing work dynamics. You&rsquo;re not the only one scratching your head. But now you have a secret decoder ring! Each episode of I Wish You Could Hear This is packed with proven, simple, and surprising secrets that help you thrive in life, faith, and relationships. Researchers Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn have spent decades interviewing and surveying more than 40,000 people to identify the little things that make a big difference in our lives. They&rsquo;re Harvard-educated, Christian authors and speakers who also happen to be happily married, analytically minded, and a whole lot of fun! Join them and their guests for real stories, real help, and real hope.

6 Steps to Better Your Marriage (Part 1) - Episode 52

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/f3bfdeb5-785d-486e-8996-b4ea0112a416/transcript