I Choose Me with Jennie GarthJennie's having the best time ever with the incomparable Kim Gravel! From beauty pageants, to blazing her own entrepreneurial trail, to QVC and everything in between; Kim is such a hoot and divulging why she learned more from her failures in life than she ever did from her successes.
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about the choices we make and where they lead us. My guest today is a dynamic, successful CEO and entrepreneur, a life coach and part of my amazing family at QBC. She has a fashion line, a beauty line. She's a TV and podcast host. She's the author of Collecting Confidence. She does it all you guys, y'all, please welcome Kim Gravel to the I Choose Me podcast.
He's finally connecting on some level.
On some level, we have been trying to get a coffee, a lunch, something on the books for like.
Got to get together. We're so busy. I know your line is killing. I'm so thrilled.
We need you, Jenny Garth, we are killing it together on TV.
Well, we've got to We've got to got to keep going.
All right. When was the first time we met, Because I remember the first time we met when we were in Vegas and you were sitting on a tiny sofa next to Queen Latifah.
Yeah with you.
You were across from me and you were sitting right next to Queen right and but.
We really met in my bedroom my senior year. You just didn't meet me, but I met you.
Oh mayah. No one has ever said that to me, Kim, No, I'm serious.
Well right right, really just every other day I remember this, let me.
You just got to let me just saying girl for two seconds, because I my parents would never let me have a stereo.
This is how old we are.
Okayio, I had a stereo, and I could have a stereo or a boom ball in my bedroom or a TV until my senior year. And girl, I used to I had a little o TV. Remember you have to get up and change your nobs. I didn't have remote control and Jenny, okay, right, I.
Can't remember what I know Wednesday.
I think it was a Wednesday or Thursday.
Yeah, that sounds good.
Did you love it?
Oh yeah, I mean what an amazing way to grow up.
Well, I'm telling you that's when.
That's when you became one of my best friends.
Oh well, I I'm glad that I finally got to meet you. Yeah, we were. I don't know. I remember we went to that convention together. Yeah, and I remember looking at you there next to Queen and thinking what who is this gorgeous creature. And you were a little quiet right then for some reason, so I didn't fully get, okay, the Kim Gravelle experience. You were listening uh huh. And then I listened to you speak on stage and I was really into your like straight forward talk and your positive messaging. I was so taken by it. And I realized at that point that I was so excited by what you have built. And I said to myself, I want to be like Kim Garvell.
You're going to you are doing it.
You're doing it because you have such a strong point of view, because that's that's what I think people don't get. And I got a little bit younger than most because of my upbringing, because of my parents.
They're part psycho and part fabulous.
So I think, I think, you know, it's just they are the most down to earth, straight talking, Like my dad would go, yeah, if you want to do that, I'd.
Little this twenty pounds by you. I mean, that's how straight talk.
It was never demeaning, it was just always honest realism.
Yeah. Very in earnest.
They were very earnest, my parents were, so I grew up not knowing that Wow, well that's not that is. You can't do that with everybody because a lot of people, a lot of people can't handle that kind of straight talk.
But it does serve you.
And it really helped me erase all the limitations that the world puts on you. It helps you like debunk or back up all the things people say, well, you can't do that or you shouldn't do that. I'm always like, but why why can't we I don't know why we can't?
You know, so it helps. It helped.
Did you want to be when you are growing up Whitney Houston?
I wanted to be a singer? But you did? I did?
And do you sing?
I do? I did?
For a long time, I sang intem great Christian music. We made albums and we were on the Brady and everything. And then I thought, you know, because I'm a first of faith, and then I thought, well, yeah, this church works not gonna work for me. I realized that's a calling, it's not a business. And I was like, I don't think I'm called to that. But I wanted to be like you know, I will I'm not you know, I wanted to be a singer. And then I realized one time. My daddy said to me, he said, Babe, whenever you go, don't sing without talking first.
He said.
You're a great singer, he said, but you got to talk first. And then I thought, well, maybe maybe I don't want to really be a singer, because I don't. I love singing, but I love talking more, believe it or not.
Yeah, and then you went into pageants. Now, yeah, like major pageants. You were Miss Georgia.
Hi. Yeah, well, I mean hello, I mean it's a big deal. Don't get me wrong.
I'm taking that back. I'm taking the little thing back. I was in pageants because.
You know what, Genny, you know what you know, you know, you know where you're You kind of follow the path of your parents.
Very few people can venture out and become something completely, you know that they were not surrounded by you know. So for me, my mother did pageants. She was in Miss South Carolina, and so that was a place for me to sing and speak and earn money for school. And that, you know, Star Search had just come out, you know, so that was it. I didn't want fame. I wanted to go to school because I majored in theology. I thought I was gonna be a ministry and my whole life really truly, So I majored in so that was the way to pay for my school, so, you know, and my mom did them. So I thought, well, that's the way to get that message out, you know, in a in a fun way. Who doesn't look to glam and wear beaded gowns by Bob Mackie.
I mean, come on, I mean you did. You were so and then you had a reality show right about coaching. Yeah, pageant. Now I enjoyed some of those episodes.
By the way, Country come to town.
So yeah, so we had a small business here. You know, it was not really businesses and make no money, but it did. It really did pay it forward for a lot of young girls. That's my heart and passion is to see young women really step into their power and their purpose and their potential.
You know that because I had that done to me, Genny.
When I was really young, I was mentored by two nancies.
One was related to Norman rock Will.
She was a painter and I was seven years old and I would just sit and eat chocolate chip cookies in freshly squeezed.
Lemonade and watch her paint.
And I still have one of her paintings here in my office today, and she would just pour.
Into me, you know, and tell you know, she was like in her seventies. I was seven.
And then another Nancy, when I was going into pagets, we would sew. We made all of our clothes. I made all of my clothes from Miss America, so we would sew. And so, I mean, I that was such a blessing and a gift to my life that I thought, oh, that's what I need to do. I need to give that back to the young job. I just spoke today at a high school. They have a Glamour and Girls club. It's so cute, a Glamor and Grace. The club is called Glamor and Grace. And so it was like twenty six girls and we just all. I gave them all makeup and we just talked about I made them all stand up and say one beautiful thing on the inside about themselves and one beautiful thing on the outside about themselves. And they all could say the inside thing, but very few of them could say the outside.
And I thought, see that's.
Why they that's the work. Yeah, that's it.
Don't you have daughters.
I do. I have three daughters.
God, love it.
I have sons.
I know you have two sons.
How old are your kids?
Twenty seven, twenty one and eighteen?
Okay, do you believe in ranch marriages? I have an eighteen year.
Old birsay we can talk.
I mean he's a good guy, good.
He has a good mama, so I know he's got to be well.
You know, look, I.
Never said on a clay till at seats, so you know, I just I mean, somebody will fade them and just.
Likely even imagine what it's like to live with three guys.
Girl. It's people say that girls are harder. I don't. I'm beg to differ.
I don't mean I've never lived with teenage girls, but like, are you besties with your girls?
Yeah? I think girls it's more of an emotional roller coaster and like it feels like an emotional warfare. But with boys, is you just they just go and destroy things and pee on toilet seats.
Well, they're just so you know, they're just so tested out.
They're just everything is so good, you know, they never they don't speak a real language. Like my son came into yesterday and he said, hey, gee, I said.
Who's g I'm talking to you.
Yeah, I used to be mom, mommy, mom, mama, brah, and now I'm.
Just yeah, gee, okay, I'm gonna try that in my house and see if anybody.
Hey. G He said it was for dinner and I said, whatever you get in there and fiction for yourself and he said no cap And I'm like, I'm looking up online to define what that means.
Oh my god. Okay, So I feel like I know the answer to this. But where did your confidence come from? Because it feels like it just comes from inside your deep deep inside. You were always confident when you were young or were you, you know, a vivacious child.
Yeah, I was really driven.
But I think I know my confidence comes from my faith. But but I know a lot of people of faith that don't have a lot of confidence. It also comes from I get this question a lot because I'm not I'm confident, but not in in me, Like I'm confident that that all things work together for the good, and I'm confident that that everyone possesses purpose. And I'm confident and know that I know that if we're here, it's got to be for a reason. I mean, I don't believe in coincidence. I don't believe in happenstance. I believe in divine appointments, and I believe in purpose. And I've talked to people from the scientific world about this all the way to you know, the highest, biggest, like you know, Mother Teresa Nunn's Catholic priests, people have been walking in faith their whole lives. Confidence is it's not something you possess, it's who you are.
And so the more you get to know who.
You are, then the more you start loving yourself, and you also start really really loving other people. Because competition and creativity cannot coexist. Competition and you know, success really cannot coexist.
They fight each other.
Did you were there times in your life where you did feel that competitive energy, especially with pageants.
And all that.
Yeah, when I was really a mature you know, when I was really young, and I remember praying a prayer and I said, God, I want to see other.
People like you see them.
I should have never prayed it, because Lord have mercy, because I do. My best friends, like you see the potential and everybody. I said, well, because a lot of potential was sawn and it was seen in me. You know, I mean, you give back what you've been given and so it's an overflow. You know, my cup I say all this time, I says to the girl's desk, said, your cup run is over.
But baby, there's two or.
Three pictures full as an endless hose that's just filling up.
But you just think, oh, my cup run. But I just have a picture.
I'm like, no, you've got a big old water hose always you know, you get it's endless.
You got free refills, free refills.
Oh my god. If you weren't famous, I'd steal it.
I'll come for you.
People knew I took it from us. I can't do it.
Wait, okay, so did you ever fake your confidence? Oh yeah, oh yeah, right, yeah, I think it sometimes now still, yeah, we have to sometimes.
You do you do? And I say, faith it till you make it, so, you know, instead of fake it to you. But I do.
I get I mean, like I get down. I mean just last week, I mean, there was something that happened in the business and.
It tore me. It turned me inside out, and I just feel like because I'm like, lord, why why is it always a struggle? Why is everything a struggle?
And I'm reminded that when you got struggle, you're building strengths, you know, yours, and so I just but yeah, I was, I'm like, I can't do this, I don't think I can do this, and then you know you do it anyway.
You just I'm glad to hear that you have those same feelings too. When I look at you, I don't I don't think that, but then I remember, oh, wait, she's a human, she's got to have I'm.
Gonna flawed hoe up from the flow of human like I am psycho.
Like, no, I'm serious. I'll tell you the code honest truth. I mean, I'm not gonna I am.
I am ADHD or whatever day the A D D or B I T, I don't know whatever, whichever you wanna call it. I'm crazy and I have too many high expectations, not only myself, with other people. I mean, like, I messed up, but I know it and I don't try to be not messed up.
And that's freeing, right yeah? Or is it delusion? I don't know.
I think it's freeing for you, but I don't know how other people in your life feel about it. But I like it. I like you crazy, it's.
Crazy, But this is the thing, Jenny, like, but my parents are so too grounded, you know, Like, but I think that generation was different too, Like I.
Really I have a heart for this.
General like our our children's generation, because they don't know how to connect. Okay, they don't even know how to have a relationship.
They don't even know.
How to invest in a relationship with people. And I mean, and I blame myself part of you know, I'm like, well, you should have taught them, you know, But it's just the culture we live in is very insular, and really confidence comes from commit unity, and confidence comes from depositing these commodities of who you are into your world.
Right, like sharing your light.
Yeah yeah, Like, I mean, I'm so glad you're at the queue because of that. Your perspective is so fresh and different and it inspires me and and you know, and not to mention that our girlfriend that's sitting at home watching it. So it's like, you know, we all have something to add to this tapestry, this big old art piece, you know, and it's unique and different. And I know that sounds total cheeseball, but it's true.
It's okay, Okay, thank you. I need to know how you got from being in pageants then doing the reality show. How did you become? How did you get to becoming one of, if not the most successful brand on QBC? What were the steps? How'd it go?
Okay?
Okay, so this is this is truly how I have it. So I never had a plan. Okay, So I just I just say, okay. When I realized when I worked at a church as a worship leader for two almost a year, I'm like, I can't do this for many reasons. We won't go into it. That's a whole nother podcast. But church work was not my vocation. I knew. I mean, I love to go church, praid guy, whatever, but I cannot work in a church. And your listeners can probably knows exactly why and what I'm talking about. So I said, okay, what what can I do? You know, because I traveled around, I had these two older women, which we were older than I thought we were old. We were like in Earth. I was thirty something, I said, one of the other men's forty. I said, we're going to do a reality shot.
So I'm so do it.
I said, that's how we can get on a bigger platform. I see everybody's doing it. It's a real housewives can do it.
We can do it too. What can we do?
So we all put that together in my family and we decided to do that. So when we got that show bought, I didn't know what was going to happen, you know, and it just didn't get bought. By the way, it was rejection, rejection, rejection, let's go into that. I mean there's a lot of rejection, and rejection is really I learned way more from failing than I ever did from success. And failing is easier than being successful. It don't hurt as bad.
No, it's not as complicated, it's.
Not as it's not and it's no, it's not as much pressure. You've got nothing to lose. So when when that was fun for me, I was like, let's try it. We got nothing to lose. There's no pressure. Now there's a lot of pressure on me to carry a lot of weight. That's that's I missed the days of.
Let's go do this. So I did.
I did the reality TV show, and then I did it for two seasons and I hated. I loved the work. I hated being controlled.
I don't like that I the network, or the or the purpose network.
Just just the environment, just like say this, say this, say this, say this. But I'm so glad I did it because my mind, they would want me to be mean and ugly, like the dance Mom's woman, who was really not that mean.
And ugly by the way. She was just hard. She was just telling her like it is. And I couldn't.
That's not how I teach an I mentor. So I had to in my mind creatively because I wasn't executive producer, and you know this, if you're not in control, you're a work for ire. So I had to creatively come up with ways to make the scene work or make the situation work, and that really, you know, exercised my production in producer chops. And so after that was that chapter was closed, I'm like, I'm going.
To KVC right then and there, Yeah, I said, I'm going KVC. Did you have a product that you thought I'm going to take this to QVC? And what was your plan?
My plan was this get there? How are we going to get there?
Just knock on the door.
And I had like, I.
Will never forget this, this funny story, I will never forget this. Well, I tagged my friend download they used to have a big, big how to get on QBC dot.
Com like Bible right that I've seen that it's this big.
I mean so, Amy, she was. I remember it so bivally because we didn't have a pot top in. You know, I was married, I was you know my husband. I were married. I had two little children, so which was I was a stay at home mom, which about did me in all of you people out there going see at home now, it's the hardest job ever. I was miserable. And I know people are going to judge me for saying that.
It really was hard. It was. It was sacrificed for me personally to do that.
I love my babies and I was there, but it was hard for me because I'm a person who's who wants to.
Do and grow and whatever. But glad I did it.
So I printed off this big Bible and I started writting through it and I didn't read totally.
And I said, Amy, we've got to have a kid booty product. Now listen to this, I said, we got a kid. My mom.
I was sitting at my mom said she was, you need to make you need to make a gene like this that doesn't stretch out and she threw it to me across the table.
I'm like, Mom, I can't make a what do you mean, go make a gene. I don't want to make a gene.
Like a blueje And she said, you could do it, but this one stretches out. It looks like pajamas. You need to go make a gene that looks like a woven jene. But it stretches like an end.
And I was like okay.
And so I started looking for manufacturers and then I wanted to do beauty because that's my background. So long story short, this is why I know if you take the steps that are in front of you, somebody's listening that has a dream or wants to do something, or wants to do something has no idea.
How to go about it right. There is no formula. You just have to start walking, okay.
And so I took every bit of my reality TV show money, which wasn't much, and I put it in two products. I put it in a cream for beauty and I put it in a pair of genes. And then I was doing the Steve Harvey Show and Jane Tracy, you know.
Jane, she loves you.
Yes, yes, you.
Always want to do shows with Jane.
She said, oh my gosh, this crazy girl Kim from Kim Queen's needs to come on and be on QVC. And so all of my followers start going, oh my god, Jane just gave you a shout and I knew. I was like, okay, this is my place. So all the pieces just aligned.
I had.
This manufacturer was another manufacturer for another brand of QVC. I said, I've got this gene. She said, let me do a sample. Long story short. We go in and do our pitch meeting in QVC.
The buyers and you know who they are. If I said they're not said we're not.
We don't allow people to do beauty in apparel. I mean even Jane Tracy said, do not do that. This is gonna tank you. They're never gonna. They're not gonna.
And I said, no, I'm doing it.
I said, so if you can't, if I can't show beauty in apparel, I'm not doing it. That was stupid, But again, not knowing what you don't know sometimes serves you.
That's what I'm saying. All of you listening, and Jenny, you know what I'm saying.
Do it afraid, take a step, don't worry about how it's going to be in the long run. Just take that first step. And I went in there and we left that day with three hours. They bought everything, including beauty.
Wow. And did you roll out beauty at the same time you rolled out that geen?
No, because I was scared to death. I was like, oh my god, we got all these oars, Like I can't feel this. I got the money to do. I mean like at that point, I'm like, how are we gonna feel the bit? I mean I knew.
Nothing because did you have a business background?
No?
Right, but I love business.
I have a business of knowing what connects. But to how to make something, you know what I'm talking about, that's a whole other beast.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean there's teams of people that do that stuff.
I mean it was me, Amy, my husband and in two others and I will never forget it. I will never forget I come, I'm like, Okay, what are we gonna do now?
How are we going to make it happen again? We just started taking the step. Did we fail?
Yes?
Do we make mistakes? Yes?
We got sued. We got sued before we ever hit the airways at QBC. What trademark infringement wasn't It was a total frivolous lawsuit. Somebody wanted the name, so they Susan, I didn't know that you do that, and it is all somebody.
Wants to just just lock you up in court. You let's give it to somebody. What I had to fight flex a bell?
Flexa bell.
That was the gene.
Yep, that was the gene.
So I knew at that point.
I remember I was in a puddle on the floor. I was heaven crying because they had threatened to, you know.
Let QVC know. It was just I you know.
Of course I didn't know what I know, and I know I'm not proven, and so I just sat there and my husband, I was on the floor, I was crying, and he said, he said, is it worth it to keep this name and to do this? And I said it is. I said, I think this name and this gene is going to set me apart on QBC and I think this is it. And he said, well then let's fight it. And so we took out a loan to fight the lawsuit. Never got the money back. Of course, we won. It was a year and a half. Never got the money back.
Jenny.
But I learned how to I learned how to trademark, I learned how to how to do IP. I learned that was that was my Harvard Business School, was that lawsuit.
So what I'm saying you what.
Looks like can be it looks like it is something that's going trying to stop you.
It's trying to strengthen you to where you're going next.
I think this is all such great advice because I know that there are people listening. I know women everywhere, everybody is tapping into that entrepreneurial quality and it's so awesome. Does see everybody just igniting And I think it's because of women like you who are freely and lovingly offering advice and sharing your journey because they're learning from you, from your mistakes, from your triumphs. And that's how we all do it. And I think that that's one of the things that I love the most about you.
Thank you. And it's hard. I mean, you're doing this now. I mean when you have.
Something that's got your name on it, you know this. You've known this longer than I have. I take that really to heart. Like the people who watch and buy are things they spend a lot of money. Yeah, I mean, thanks God for everybody, but they spent a lot of money too, And.
It's like a responsibility of that pressure on your shoulders that you feel you need to deliver the best thing that you possibly can to them.
Over and over. You just got start.
Girls, I know, wait, how long have you been doing it?
Eight years?
Eight years?
Eight years?
And I just want to hit this point home with people because every because we're just in another obstacle now.
I don't know if you've heard about the strike that's going on.
Oh yes, okay, so.
That's going to affect all of us. Yeah, news, it just happened, just happened on.
But I remember, so I was traveling up to QVC kind of like because you go up what once a month, twice a month, they probably want you seven times a month.
Yeah yeah, I'm not very much definitely there once a.
Month, okay. Yeah.
So I was going up twice a month with two you know, middle of school high school children and so, and we.
Built the business pretty significantly.
And I I was having a panic attack, like I was like, I can't I cannot do this and grow.
I can't do this and be a good mom.
Did you feel like it was unsustainable, like I can't actually physically, mentally, emotionally do this.
I couldn't. I knew I couldn't. I knew. I was like, how am I going to grow this? And how am I? I can't because I'd have to move up there.
Everything's here in Georgia, parents, aging parents, I've got to, you know, be there for them. You know, you don't have your people forever. I know that's a sad realist Again, we're realists. So you got to milk it while you can't. And so, and then COVID hit and remember everybody flucked out. So I remember sitting at my desk and I said, we're going to build a studio. Listen to this, I said, and we're going.
To level up. I said.
This COVID thing is going to be it's terrible, but we're going to find that silver lining and we're going to do it. So we bought an old house, fixed it up, made it a studio, and my business quadrupled. So I'm telling you this, what looks like an obstacle is really an opportunity. And now now my kids are older, and now I travel up there more. And it's good because you know I can't, but I'm just telling you if your giftings, your brand, your business, your dream will make way for you. You just cannot get paralyzed or quit when things get tough. You have to look for what how it can serve you. Again, I feel like this sounds so cheesy, Jenny, I really people are like Ken, It's really truth.
No this if anybody who's listening believe this woman, because this is so recent that you've done this, yes, and started with nothing, nothing, and you've built this incredible business m hm. And now you've branched out into a whole world of beauty and home and home oh my.
God, you need to do you do home already, but you know you might want to think about it.
Will you do.
Beauty Tale with Barakoff? So I'm just saying, like, you're doing the same thing.
You're doing the same thing, I mean, and it's and people like, well you just there is no work life balance.
That is That is the lie too. That's a lie.
When I hire a lot of gen z ers in because I don't know how to do technology, their new catchphrase is work life balance, and that doesn't there is none.
Yeah, they have a different criteria for their hours. Right.
Well, this is the thing too. I say, way hard when you got the time, and work hard that and that is what I'm talking about, like, be flexible, be be nimble, don't control create, you know, and get with people who have the same morals and values in and integrity in their work, you know. And I also tell people, so surround yourself with people who work for themselves, not for you, who work for themself. Like my manufacturer works for herself. She does what she does because she for her, you know, and her family. And you know, I just there's some there's some there's some non negotiables, but there is no work life balance and I don't want there to be.
I want to milk it as long as I can because.
I'm right, it's it. Do you consider yourself successful at this point?
Yeah?
Yeah, good, it's not. It's all subjective, you know. Whatever success is to whoever's listening it. The success to me is I will feel really successful when I get both of my kids graduated at high school, in college making a sea or above, and then when they get out and can pay their own bills, that to me.
Is ultimate success. So I'm getting there on that track.
But in business. I do because I'm not afraid of anything in business anymore. Like I think this guy's the limit because I'm talking to somebody here. If you can sell one hundred dollars worth of your product or services, you can sell a thousand. If you can sell a thousand, you can sell ten thousand. If you can sell ten thousand, you can sell a million. If you can sell a million, you can sell a billion. There is no cap All it is is how much work and how much heart you want to put into it. Because people, I say this all the time, people buy you.
The jitty. Your product is gorgeous, it is quality, it is fantastic, Thank you minus two mm hmm lot of coorse.
That's the cue. It stands for quality PVC. But people buy you. And that is if you have a car dealership, or if you have a social media platform influencer, or if you have.
This young guy mentoring business.
He has a detailing car service, and I'm like, they're buying you, dude. They're not buying how clean you can clean your car, because they can get that from a lot of different people. So the more you make you are and the more you are in who you are and what you've been created to be the more successful you'll be, so in that respect, yeah, I'm successful.
Yep. I feel like I feel the same when you're authentic. When you are honest, people will listen, They'll want to listen.
What do you.
Think authenticity is?
I'm curious because so you've been in a world and I know that you're supposed to be interviewing me.
You go, come on, mob as, I'm an interview But.
What do you think, Like, what does that mean to you? Because everybody's like that's the buzzword.
Right, authentic?
Yeah, what does that mean to me?
It means remembering where I come from, remembering the people that I looked to for guidance and advice all my life, and to not get caught up in yes people, to not get caught up in always winning, And it's just about keeping your feet on the ground for me, keeping a level head. That for me, when I am truly my authentic self, I feel good. And the minute I slip out of that and I try to be something that I know in my heart I'm not, or I try to act a certain way and it's it doesn't represent who I am. That is when I have a breakdown, like I literally just can't figure things out anymore. I get so lost. So for me, being authentic just means being who I was born to be.
M im own I love. I love when you said try. I think that's a dirty word.
What do you mean?
I does think try?
Because you said when I try to do something that I'm not like. I think that that's I don't know. I didn't Yoda say something about that, was that there's no try or do? I can't remember the quote. I love it, I can't remember it.
So boy, Mama, I don't know what you're talking about.
Ok I google like people.
It's something Yoda say it and I agree with it, something about there's no you shouldn't try, Like, Okay, let me ask you this.
Let me ask you this because you OVC. I'm on GVC. It's live TV, which is different. Is it different for you?
Oh?
Yes, it's so different, like what.
You did to earn a script and have to stand where you need to stay.
Because I was on a guest spot of Drop Dead Diva Girl. I thought.
I was like, I can't do this and they're saying say it with this accent. I'm like, what I've only got one accent. This is what the accent I've got. He wanted to be speaking a Jersey accent. I was like, dude, really, now you you think I'm that kind of person.
That's why he wanted you to have a Jersey accent.
Well, I can't.
I can't act.
That's hard.
Just was saying, like, what you do is so like acting is so that's such an art. Urt, it's such a crap. But have you ever felt like this on TV?
In your live on KBC and you're talking, you're saying something and you're not like watching yourself, but you're you're observing yourself.
A little bit like from above, Well just like or inside your head. I know, I'm telling I'm crazy. Okay, which times I'm talking going why are you saying that? That is not you? That is not you?
Have you ever done that?
Oh? Yeah, okay, okay, so I'm not the only one.
Okay, No, it's a it's an it. Like you said, acting is an art. Being on QBC is an art.
It's hard. It's hard. What's hard about it?
For you?
I love to hear this.
Well, here's the thing. I am not a talker. I'm an introvert, Like I am the deep introvert yep, and.
You read, don't you?
I know how to turn it on. I wish I could have more time to read. I know how to like I know when it's go time. I know when sometimes it's time. That doesn't matter what you think you are or what you're scared of, you just go forward, you leap in. So that's what I'm accustomed to. That so I thought that's all I needed. But really you need to have all the words. You need to have like a toolkit full of words that people understand and relate, especially our beautiful customers because they're they're waiting to hear that one thing that they want to hear about that product, you know, to make them love it. And so for me, it's it's a learning herb, like I'm certainly learning as I'm going, and I watch you and I watch other people, and I learned from you, and it is it's scary. It's really scary. But it's just the talking for me.
Well, I mean, but I get that because words aren't so powerful people.
I mean, you would not know that today the way people fling around words. And I am so guilty.
So there's no judgment there because I don't realize the things that I say, and I don't filter myself either, but I'm mindful because words are things. So IMO saying like you're saying, you just need the words, And to me, it's like, I totally get what you're saying because it's because they matter. Because think about it, people are paying their money for what you're saying, that they're going to get home that they cannot touch, feel or see.
And I don't want to say something that's not true. Yeah, yeah, like I can't do that.
No, you can't.
You're very very earnest, very trustworthy. Like when I watch you, I'm like, oh god, I believe her because people think that, like people think an audience is not that bright, they're brilliant.
Oh yeah, they can smell it a mile away.
You You. I love that about you. You just tell it how it is. You've always been that way, and you you speak off the cuff. Have you ever been like, oh, oh, well, I just I said something I shouldn't have said.
Yes, yes, and I and I apologize and say I shouldn't have said it right then and there. Yeah, I just don't want it. I think the I tell my kids that all time like, why are you lying?
Why lie? You know I'm sitting here telling you here it is, and you're saying I didn't. I didn't. I don't. I'm looking at like three sixty and yes you did. And I'm like, but why you lie? Why lie?
Don't lie? Just tell it like it is. Just tell me the truth. And you know I didn't always do that, though I faked it. I did, and sometimes I do, Jenny, honestly, sometimes I'm like, what am I doing?
Why am I doing that?
But I mean I try to course correct. But you know, women we beat each other up. We beat ourselves up worse. Oh it's the word the perfection gene is real in the DNA of a woman. And you know, I'm gonna blame society a little bit for that, but you know, we're easy to beat up on. What do you mean things that are said to women and expectations that are put on women. I'll give you examples, like, you know, if my son, you know, picks up his clothes or or cleans the toile at once, or actually you know, cleans out the toothpaste out of the saint, I'm like, oh, you know, because the expectation is low. But on a woman, and I don't know how you feel about your daughters. We put more expectation on women in a lot of things.
Yes, we do, and it's.
Not it's not what did you say that it's not sustainable.
I think it's what we do though as just naturally because we take on so much more. We take it on just because like for some reason, I don't know if we think that it's not going to be done if we don't, or that that's our role won't that's true. If it's done, it won't be done right correct.
And the thing is is that we love that and it's a drain on us too. And that's why I think QVC is such a great fit for all of us women, especially at our ages. Because when I reached, because I didn't start my business till forty six, so I mean, my fifties are amazing. They're like the best things at the best years ever. Because I'm free, I'm more confident, my relationships are secure.
I think that's a big import.
Your tribe people, you surround yourself with, Your community is important. That's why I think all of us being friends at KVC helps eat to iron sharpens iron.
Yes, it does.
I've never felt the support of being in the industry that I've grown up in and being so based on competition and being selected or what's the word when you're not picked, I've got brain fog sometimes sorry too rejected? Yes, thank you think about it too. So based on that as a young girl all through my twenties and thirties, and so now being at a place like QVC where we're a group of women who support one another and I want the best for you and I want you to have so much success, and I don't think that takes away from my success. That's a bit, you know, like it's such a different feeling than I've ever had before, and I love it so much.
Well, all times rise, and honestly, that's a universal truth.
It's really a truth at QVC.
Like I don't know if you've experienced it, but when the TSV does well on that day Today's special Value, everybody does well.
So it's like that's the beauty.
Of of that environment. But I think that rings true for everything. I really do. I think that it's almost like a team. Like my kids play sports, and they played soccer, tennis, and basketball.
It was basketball.
I would get frustrated because they had a coach that just he would pick little stars out and he would highlight them. And I'm like, and they lost every honking game. And I'm like, you can't win with one or two like superstars.
There's no iron team.
There's no many team, Jenny, there's no iron team. And then and then the next year, the last the next year, the team was horrible because we lost the two seniors they grab. They were terrible. They won everything because they needed each other. And that is and look, you can't work with everybody. Some people just like hold me. They just mean harded, mean spirited. I have never experienced that, QBC, but I know that's out there in the world. But get people around.
You who.
Who support you and that you can support them, don't you know, be a taker and be a giver.
I know you lost like fifty pounds not that.
Long ago, and I put on ten more. So bright from me.
Oh, it's a roller coaster. Come on, I loved I know eating is fun.
Eating it's fine.
No, you look amazing. Whether you've put on all your weight back on or taken it all up, it does not matter.
But I feel better.
You talked about good and I'm sure you're healthier. You talked about in your podcast. I heard your experience with weight loss, Like, what was it behind that moment that I choose me? Moment when you decided that I need to get healthy, they need to lose some weight and change my lifestyle.
Well, I was the type of person that I did a blame game. I don't know if you've ever done that, where almost self sabotage a little bit.
Uh huh.
And I loved to.
I love to have something to blame if something didn't work out, so I you know, well they didn't.
I didn't get this because of my weight.
I didn't do that, and I just I love to have something to blame. I think it was fear. And well, I know it was fear because I think everything bad in our life starts with fear. But I remember waking up one day and looking in the mirror and I thought.
That's it. I'm doing it. I'm changing my whole entire lifestyle.
Just flip the switch.
I flipped the switch. I decided everything's in a choice and a decision. I think I listened to a podcast where I heard somebody say that, and I thought, you know what, that's true, everything is just a decision away, and.
People say, what did you do? I mean, look, you can do keto, you can do you know, low fat, you can do the injections.
There's a lot of people losing a lot of I don't reject injections, and that's fantastic too. There's a lot of people that you know that have weight loss surgery. I mean, there's there's many thousands of different ways we know how to make that change.
We just have to decide.
To make it, and so we commit to it.
Yeah, just commit. I just decided. I'm like, bump this, I'm doing it.
Wait, when you lose weight like that, people just assume nowadays that you're taking ozembig or you're doing something other than just I wish changing your lifestyle.
I'm thinking about going on it now. Look, I'm like, I don't hate that, by the way.
Right, once you lose the weight, you know, it's like you're like, please, I don't want to gain a bag.
They weren't the hot thing then now they're the hot thing. I didn't even know about that. It was an April. It took me nine months to lose it, and I just remember that April I was like bump it, I'm doing it. And I the first three days, I did nothing to change my diet except write everything down. And Jenny, this is the truth. I was eating about four thousand calories a day.
You learned that just from keeping a food journal, right.
So I decided, I was like, I'm going to write down everything I eat and I'm going to look up the nutritional value and the caloric intake. Because I'm a I'm an energetic person, so I'm a go, go, go person. I'm not a lay on the couch, do nothing person. I don't exercise like I should, but I move.
Okay, I can tell you.
So I said, when.
I got finished, I mean the drive throughs, which I love a good drive through, and it was about four thousand calories a day.
And I thought, that's not normal. That's not normal than I am.
What's your favorite drive through? Oh?
God, for chicken, it's Chick fil A. For burgers, I'm gonna Wendy's kick. I mean, I'm really digging.
But look, there's not one that I hate.
Yeah, but you've made a choice to like make those trips less frequently.
Well, I've made him a little bit more frequent. So but I love the fact that I'm like, no bump and I'm not doing that. I'm with a back off on the back off, and and so I think that's with everything. And like you know, like like someone was asking me about their marriage and she's like that it's somebing to be married to him anymore.
I'm like, you know, I joined the club most people don't. Okay, this is marriage.
I love it when you talk about relationships and marriage.
It's hard.
It's so hard, and you're just so honest about it. Like I love that so much.
I've held trump so that I said, listen, if I can't be with the one I love, I'm just gonna love the one i'm with.
But you need to shut up, you know. I mean we, I mean we are going fine.
He's so cheap, he's so cheap, he's so stubborn, he's so the opposite of me, which I love and hate.
Yeah, but I's been saying like I hate the light of my life. I'm like, really, he's pretty the light of your life.
But this is what I'm saying, Like, this is what we got, this where we're at.
And so I just I can't remember where was going on.
Where's talking about drive throughs, and then I started talking about marriage.
Sorry I can't remember, but anyway, I love a good drive through and I do love my husband. I have to say I do love my children husband, even though it does not seem like it when I'm on air because they've ticked me off right before I go on. But I'm just saying I do. I've been on air and they're like, what's for dinner? I'm like, I am YOUBC, I'm not.
Even talking yeah, oh my gosh. I understand completely as women that we're always turned to for that the answer, and it's always what's for dinner?
Do you do cook? Well?
I do cook, but I don't have a lot of time or energy.
I don't need to cook.
We're busy, busy.
Girl, and you're about to get busier, I know.
And I look to you for my survival.
About what I can help you is is we can glad to eat and I can get you a good meal, MPa. That's what we need to do is go break bread because it's okay. Let me ask, just when you get off the show, do you feel like are you euphoric? Like do you feel like does it does it feel that creative? Part of who you are as an artist.
I I actually just I do love connecting with whoever's watching. I love that feeling, you know. Like for me as an actress, I don't like any parts of the business. I don't enjoy waiting, wasting my life on a set, waiting for the camera to be ready in the lights and make everything like I just sit there and I think I'm wasting my life and what am I doing. When I do my on airs at QBC, I feel like I've just connected with people. I've just made them happy, made them feel seen, And there's something about it, just like when I act. It's the moments when I'm it's just me in the camera, you know, and like I'm in the scene, and then once they call cut, I'm out, you know. But it's that It's that relationship I feel with through the camera to the people that are watching.
But you're not quitting acting, right, No?
I don't think I get ever quit acting.
I think you need to do a lot of home movies too, with all your clothes in it their business thing.
I'll be your country best friend.
Okay, wait, if you were an animal, what would you be? Have you ever thought about that?
I think I would be. Oh my god, I just thought of my I said, my husband be a warhog. Why did that just come to my mind? Oh? Yeah, those war hoogs are stubborn as mules. If I was an animal, I probably would be. I would want to be a cheetah, but I ain't that.
Sears I'm here.
Are you are a cheetah?
No, I'm not cheeta Now I want to be a cheetah.
Are you a jaguar?
No, I'm probably more like a grasshopper.
Mm hmm.
You don't think so.
You're definitely a cat.
You think I'm a cat?
Oh?
Yes, I want them hairless cats.
I love those. Okay, okay, I just have a couple more questions.
What are you? What are you about you?
Oh god, I didn't even think what I would be. M I feel like I would be a horse.
You're the perfect stallion horse.
Yes, I don't. They're just there's something so strong and quiet about them and effortless.
They just run. And yeah, you're very You're very smooth.
I'm very horse like. Thank you very harty. Oh my god, I've not heard that before. Looking back on your life, I want to know what is the biggest adversity that you've faced so far, and how did you overcome it? Just give me a quick.
People thinking at first glance that I'm not smart.
I always know if someone's intelligent within ten minutes of talking to them. If they think I'm intelligent, I'm smart because you think I was smart because I have always been looked at as a caricatures from the souths and loud and I say, ain't and you know, I don't have a higher education in that way and their business degree. So I've always had to prove that. So that's probably a big obstacle. I mean when I enter a room or a meeting or something, I'm always having to go, okay, let's end you because we're educating everybody here because they you know, people, they don't talk down to you.
They just assume a lot, you know. So that's the biggest challenge for me. I know.
And when you ask a question in a group in one of those big board meetings that we have to go to, I feel like people think I don't know anything, but I feel like if I didn't ask the question, that would be unintelligent.
Yeah, And a lot of times asking questions is a sign of intelligence. The curiosity. But a lot of times I'll ask questions to see what they know.
I might already know the answer, but do you Oh she's smart? Yeah, Like any how you really people can front and fake.
And sell you. Again, back to the QDC model. What is authentic? Like I remember even some of the bad like reality like just crazy, broke down, ratchet reality TV shows that we love.
It's because they're really who they are. It might be a bad version.
Of that, you know, it's a training that I just love watching it. Yeah.
Yeah, we accept what's real and authentic, bad, good or whatever.
Yeah.
You have so many different feathers in your cap which I greatly admire and can relate to. Your podcast host, your life coach or a TV personality, a host at CEO, all the things your mother, your wife? What is still on your list to achieve? Like, what do you want next?
I think next is in the near future. I want to do more live events. I want to do events where we all get together and we put our minds together and we speak and we laugh and we eat and we do a you know, conga line. I mean, I want to do things where I'm touching, feeling people. I love QVC and I love the camera. But I like, we've been doing these Age of Possibility events and I am digging it, Like I love meeting the people. Yeah, and so that's something I want to do. I want to I want to create and host and be a part of big events where we can all come together and empower each other because I believe women are the power of influence. I do believe that, and I think that's why we're so attacked. And that's why I think we're always pitted against each other. Is because everybody knows at school, at church, in your community, in your family, when all the women get together and decide this is what they're going to do, it happens. So I think I think all the powers that be that are trying to stop that, but you can't. When you get a bunch of women together that unite so a lot of events for me in the near future.
That's why I see it. I see it. You're such a great speaker, You're such a great leader. I definitely see that. Definitely. Okay, before I let you go, Okay, Kim Gravelle, what was doing last? I choose me moment?
Oh that's so good. I love that. Oh.
Hello, I went and got myself marshmallows, a Hershey milk chocolate bar, and honey Graham creckers. Okay, I made three or four smores. I went upstairs. I turned the air really low. It's still really hot here in Georgia. I got it really crispy cold, and I put on the Terrible This is awful. I put on Bridgerton and watched it from season one all the way through the last season.
Why did you find time to do this?
I just did. I just it was like raining. It was one day and I just closed the door.
I locked it. I did it all day and I.
Just laid there with your s'mores.
I mean, I ate the mess out of those things. And I sat there and watched Bridgerton.
I love that. I love the scenery, I love the music. I love everything. I've watched like seventeen times. Don't you do that, though? Do you find something you.
Love and just rewatch it and like when you get oh, if.
You product, I have to. I've watched it every time a song TV.
It's so good for me. It's great because I can't remember things like that happened ten minutes ago, so I could have seen a movie eight times and don't remember what's gonna happen?
How do you remember all the traps? Then?
I don't know. Well, I love your eye choose me moment. It's perfect, it's real.
It's just it's nothing better than that. No, Well, I love you.
And you are Oh, I just want to squish you.
Well, we don't have to get together, Tanny. I mean it now.
I mean it too. I mean it. When is your next show October twenty something.
And you're still doing home too? Right?
Yes? And that's in November.
We have it, okay, don't that's that's Are you and Tory doing it together?
Yes? In November.
Are y'all really best friends? Yep?
We all love history together.
Isn't it great? I have a very best friend. I love it so much.
Amy.
Yeah, I might have to ditch her though, if you're available.
Kay, don't tell her. I don't want to coming after me. I love you, Kim, Thank you for.
Coming all right?
Oh my god. Kim is such a funny and inspiring woman. I love what a power how she is. That's really so incredible to hear about her journey in the business world, and her personality is infectious. That was so fun as we continue to choose ourselves. This week, I want you to think of something you've been holding off on starting. Is it a new workout routine. Is it starting your own small business. Is it writing your own book, or starting your own podcast, whatever it might be. I want you to take Kim's words and just do it. You don't need a plan or roadmap.
Just start.
You'll figure it out along the way, I promise you. I want to inspire you with this conversation I had with Kim to choose you this week and stop putting off what could end up making you immensely happy and maybe rich someday, who knows. Thanks for listening to I Choose Me. You can check out all of our social links in our show notes, rate us, review us, and use that hashtag I choose me so we can see you. I'll be right here next week. I hope you choose to be here too,
