Viren is a very fun person. Ironically, I met him many years ago indirectly through one of the least fun places; LinkedIn.

We’ve had so many conversations over the years about friendship, connection, fun, and how it’s so easy to not prioritise those thing and end up in some pretty boring ruts with the people around you. Which is (unfortunately) the place that many people find themselves in.

I brought him on How to Friend to talk about how he friends, which is a blend of intentional fun, often through the medium of competition. We both agree that competition can get a bit of a bad-rap, or feel like a bit of a loaded, maybe even toxic term when it comes to friendship and relationships. However, when it’s channelled in the right way, it can add an extra dimension of anticipation and conversation to otherwise routine gatherings and catch ups.

Who’s Viren?

Viren a.k.a V, Paramaters or Tkrar is a house music DJ, a gamer, a lover of sci-fi movies & TV shows, a soccer fan and a dad to three boys (named after famous soccer players). He is pro everyone having more hobbies and is an anti-second-screening activist.

Links

You can find Viren on LinkedIn, his work on his website or on his podcast, The Values Lab, and his DJing on his YouTube channel.

 

What we talked about

In this conversation I ask Viren how be brings fun and competition into his friendships in different ways, and the different versions of that with different friends.

Here’s some things we talked about…


Viren’s twice-weekly gaming group’s overly engineered leaderboard


Finding fun things to track and rank with friends


Moving from social media apps to niche activity tracking / ranking apps to learn more about your friends


Competition as a pipeline to having more fun with your friends and elevating the experience of ‘normal catch ups’


Competition for increasing collective effort in gatherings


Good participation is as important as good hosting


Looking out for the signals of disengagement


Finding a good cadence and frequency for gathering


Regularity as the antidote to decision / planning fatigue


Why everyone needs more hobbies

I hope you enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I did recording it. And of course, I’d love to know if there’s anything you’ll be experimenting with from this conversation.

Viren is a very fun person. Ironically, I met him many years ago indirectly through one of the least fun places; LinkedIn.
We&rsquo;ve had so many conversations over the years about friendship, connection, fun, and how it&rsquo;s so easy to not prioritise those thing and end up in some pretty boring ruts with the people around you. Which is (unfortunately) the place that many people find themselves in.
I brought him on How to Friend to talk about how he friends, which is a blend of intentional fun, often through the medium of competition. We both agree that competition can get a bit of a bad-rap, or feel like a bit of a loaded, maybe even toxic term when it comes to friendship and relationships. However, when it&rsquo;s channelled in the right way, it can add an extra dimension of anticipation and conversation to otherwise routine gatherings and catch ups.
Who&rsquo;s Viren?
Viren a.k.a V, Paramaters or Tkrar is a house music DJ, a gamer, a lover of sci-fi movies &amp; TV shows, a soccer fan and a dad to three boys (named after famous soccer players). He is pro everyone having more hobbies and is an anti-second-screening activist.
Links
You can find Viren on <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/virenthakrar/">LinkedIn</a>, his work on <a href="https://valuesmap.com/">his website</a> or on his podcast, <a href="https://www.valueslab.co/">The Values Lab</a>, and his <a href="http://www.youtube.com/@djtkrar.">DJing on his YouTube channel</a>.
&nbsp;
What we talked about
In this conversation I ask Viren how be brings fun and competition into his friendships in different ways, and the different versions of that with different friends.
Here&rsquo;s some things we talked about&hellip;
<ul>
<li>
Viren&rsquo;s twice-weekly gaming group&rsquo;s overly engineered leaderboard
</li>
<li>
Finding fun things to track and rank with friends
</li>
<li>
Moving from social media apps to niche activity tracking / ranking apps to learn more about your friends
</li>
<li>
Competition as a pipeline to having more fun with your friends and elevating the experience of &lsquo;normal catch ups&rsquo;
</li>
<li>
Competition for increasing collective effort in gatherings
</li>
<li>
Good participation is as important as good hosting
</li>
<li>
Looking out for the signals of disengagement
</li>
<li>
Finding a good cadence and frequency for gathering
</li>
<li>
Regularity as the antidote to decision / planning fatigue
</li>
<li>
Why everyone needs more hobbies
</li>
</ul>
I hope you enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I did recording it. And of course, I&rsquo;d love to know if there&rsquo;s anything you&rsquo;ll be experimenting with from this conversation.

A podcast about friendship, for people who want more from theirs.

The podcast is about friendship. It’s less of a dense prose deep dive into the psychology of friendship (although that will come up), and more of a burst of joy, showcasing a host of fun, interesting, creative, quirky, and meaningful examples of the ways that people spend time with, and celebrate their friends.

It is not just a podcast of ideas like ‘hiking with friends is good’ (although obviously that’s also true) or ‘I like my friends because they’re always there for me’ (which is nice). This is a smorgasbord. A recipe book (in audio form) of the tiny regular rituals, creative celebrations, and more interesting time spent together that people have with their friends, to inspire and encourage other people to do the same in their friendships.

A podcast about friendship, for people who want&nbsp;more from theirs.
The podcast is about friendship. It&rsquo;s less of a dense prose deep dive into the psychology of friendship (although that will come up), and more of a burst of joy, showcasing a host of fun, interesting, creative, quirky, and meaningful examples of the ways that people spend time with, and celebrate their friends.
It is not just a podcast of ideas like &lsquo;hiking with friends is good&rsquo; (although obviously that&rsquo;s also true) or &lsquo;I like my friends because they&rsquo;re always&nbsp;there for me&rsquo; (which is nice). This is a smorgasbord. A recipe book (in audio form) of the tiny regular rituals, creative celebrations, and more interesting&nbsp;time spent together that people have with their friends, to inspire&nbsp;and encourage other people to do the same in their friendships.