Episode Summary: 

Today, we're exploring a topic that feels counterintuitive but profoundly transformative: "How to Rekindle Your First Love.” Together with Pastor Jessica Van Roekel, we’ll examine why this is important, how it helps us live our lives in Christ, the warning signs of losing it and how to get back to it. We’ll offer biblical wisdom, personal stories, and practical insights to help you embrace joy as a choice, a fruit of the Spirit, and a testament to God’s faithfulness.

 

Quotables from the episode:
Search for identity and purpose can only be found in our personal relationship with God. We cannot chase Dr. Michelle’s experience with God, my experience with God, or your pastor’s experience with God. We gather corporately for worship services, but the rest of the week, we “gather” with God as an individual.
We must seek our own revelation of his love for us, who we are IN him and TO him.
Life confuses, distracts, or points us to look at the world or church leaders for insight into ourselves. Ultimately, Christ reveals himself and will return to set things right. No more broken hearts or tears. All hope will be fulfilled. All promises will be kept.
The book of Revelation uses imagery to describe the end of time, but the letters to the churches at the beginning of the book are easy to understand. Christ’s purpose for the letters are to challenge, encourage, warn, and build up believers and churches throughout history.
The letter’s values for us today includes: a revelation of what Christ loves and values along with what he hates and condemns. They also give us a clear statement about consequences for disobedience and spiritual neglect along with rewards for spiritual alertness, diligence, and faithfulness to Christ.
They also provide the standard for any individual or church to judge their true spiritual condition and provide an example of Satan’s methods for attacking and working against the church or individual Christian.
The Christians in Ephesus were complimented for: toil, patient endurance, separateness from evil, pursuers of truth, bearing up for the Lord’s sake, not grown weary. They were criticized for losing their first love.
The first love is defined as: commitment to the original love, truth, purity, and power of Jesus and his original revelation. Our first love protects and helps us live the way Jesus calls us to. Our first love protects us because it helps us avoid sin, prevents us from running after false teaching, and helps us not forsake Jesus.
But the consequences of losing our first love means we forget about loving the hurting, loving our fellow siblings in Christ, and about our own lost, wretched nature before we gave our life to Christ and his Lordship.
We can lose our first love through spiritual distraction, loneliness, weariness, focusing more on the battle rather than our Victor, listening to other voices, and allowing religious actions to replace relationship. But God gives us warning signs.
Let’s go through the warning signs: delight in something/something else more than God; lacking of longing for prayer and Bible reading; don’t think about God throughout the day; claim to “be human” to excuse behaviors/attitudes; and lack of cheerful giving or service.
There’s more: treating other Christians with more judgment than kindness, view Christ’s commands as restrictions to happiness, striving for mankind’s acclaim, allowing fears to control decisions to share the Good News of Christ, refuse to give up an activity that displeases God, complacent to sinful attitudes around you, and unwillingness to forgive.
To rekindle our first love, we choose to remember God’s love, his faithfulness and our initial love for him. We can remember what he saved us from and how we were before we welcomed him into our lives.
The second way to rekindle our first love is to REPENT. Jesus, our High Priest, stands ready to forgive us if we would turn and come to him. We need to admit we’ve lost it, stop ignoring the warning signs and bring our “spiritual” care into the “mechanic” for service. He stands waiting for us and we don’t need to be ashamed or put undue pressure on ourselves.
The third step is to RETURN. Return to where you lost it. Don’t try to be a mile ahead of where you use to be. Go back and begin again with renewed love for God.
Don’t beat yourself up for letting your love for God grow cool. Remember you’re not alone, remember God is for you and loves you. Repent and return.

 

Scripture References:
Revelation 2:1-5 To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.
Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
1 John 4:19 “we love him because he first loved us.”
Luke 7:36-50
Hebrews 4:12-16 “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Jesus the Great High Priest Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,  Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
1 Timothy 1:6 “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God.”
Jude 20-21 “But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life,”

 

Recommended Resources: 
Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel
Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2
Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference
Revive & Thrive Summit 2
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue

 

Social Media Links for Host and Guest:

Connect with Jessica Van Roekel:

Website / Instagram / Facebook

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

 

Co-Host:

Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.

 

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson

Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

Episode Summary: 
Today, we're exploring a topic that feels counterintuitive but profoundly transformative:&nbsp;"How to Rekindle Your First Love.&rdquo; Together with Pastor Jessica Van Roekel, we&rsquo;ll examine why this is important, how it helps us live our lives in Christ, the warning signs of losing it and how to get back to it. We&rsquo;ll offer biblical wisdom, personal stories, and practical insights to help you embrace joy as a choice, a fruit of the Spirit, and a testament to God&rsquo;s faithfulness.
&nbsp;
Quotables from the episode:
<ul>
<li>Search for identity and purpose can only be found in our personal relationship with God. We cannot chase Dr. Michelle&rsquo;s experience with God, my experience with God, or your pastor&rsquo;s experience with God. We gather corporately for worship services, but the rest of the week, we &ldquo;gather&rdquo; with God as an individual.</li>
<li>We must seek our own revelation of his love for us, who we are IN him and TO him.</li>
<li>Life confuses, distracts, or points us to look at the world or church leaders for insight into ourselves. Ultimately, Christ reveals himself and will return to set things right. No more broken hearts or tears. All hope will be fulfilled. All promises will be kept.</li>
<li>The book of Revelation uses imagery to describe the end of time, but the letters to the churches at the beginning of the book are easy to understand. Christ&rsquo;s purpose for the letters are to challenge, encourage, warn, and build up believers and churches throughout history.</li>
<li>The letter&rsquo;s values for us today includes: a revelation of what Christ loves and values&nbsp;along with what he hates and condemns. They also give us a clear statement about consequences for disobedience and spiritual neglect along with rewards for spiritual alertness, diligence, and faithfulness to Christ.</li>
<li>They also provide the standard for any individual or church to judge their true spiritual condition and provide an example of Satan&rsquo;s methods for attacking and working against the church or individual Christian.</li>
<li>The Christians in Ephesus were complimented for: toil, patient endurance, separateness from evil, pursuers of truth, bearing up for the Lord&rsquo;s sake, not grown weary. They were criticized for losing their first love.</li>
<li>The first love is defined as: commitment to the original love, truth, purity, and power of Jesus and his original revelation. Our first love&nbsp;protects and helps us live the way Jesus calls us to. Our first love protects us because it helps us avoid sin, prevents us from running after false teaching, and helps us not forsake Jesus.</li>
<li>But the consequences of losing our first love means we forget about loving the hurting, loving our fellow siblings in Christ, and about our own lost, wretched nature before we gave our life to Christ and his Lordship.</li>
<li>We can lose our first love through spiritual distraction, loneliness, weariness, focusing more on the battle rather than our Victor, listening to other voices, and allowing religious actions to replace relationship. But God gives us warning signs.</li>
<li>Let&rsquo;s go through the warning signs: delight in something/something else more than God; lacking of longing for prayer and Bible reading; don&rsquo;t think about God throughout the day; claim to &ldquo;be human&rdquo; to excuse behaviors/attitudes; and lack of cheerful giving or service.</li>
<li>There&rsquo;s more: treating other Christians with more judgment than kindness, view Christ&rsquo;s commands as restrictions to happiness, striving for mankind&rsquo;s acclaim, allowing fears to control decisions to share the Good News of Christ, refuse to give up an activity that displeases God, complacent to sinful attitudes around you, and unwillingness to forgive.</li>
<li>To rekindle our first love, we choose to&nbsp;remember God&rsquo;s love, his faithfulness and our initial love for him. We can remember what he saved us from and how we were before we welcomed him into our lives.</li>
<li>The second way to rekindle our first love is to&nbsp;REPENT. Jesus, our High Priest, stands ready to forgive us if we would turn and come to him. We need to admit we&rsquo;ve lost it, stop ignoring the warning signs and bring our &ldquo;spiritual&rdquo; care into the &ldquo;mechanic&rdquo; for service. He stands waiting for us and we don&rsquo;t need to be ashamed or put undue pressure on ourselves.</li>
<li>The third step is to&nbsp;RETURN. Return to where you lost it. Don&rsquo;t try to be a mile ahead of where you use to be. Go back and begin again with renewed love for God.</li>
<li>Don&rsquo;t beat yourself up for letting your love for God grow cool. Remember you&rsquo;re not alone, remember God is for you and loves you. Repent and return.</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Scripture References:
<ul>
<li>Revelation 2:1-5 To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand&nbsp;and walks among the seven golden lampstands.&nbsp;I know your deeds,&nbsp;your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested&nbsp;those who claim to be apostles but are not and have found them false.&nbsp;You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.&nbsp;Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand&nbsp;from its place.</li>
<li>Jeremiah 29:13 &ldquo;You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.&rdquo;</li>
<li>1 John 4:19 &ldquo;we love him because he first loved us.&rdquo;</li>
<li>Luke 7:36-50</li>
<li>Hebrews 4:12-16 &ldquo;For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God&rsquo;s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Jesus the Great High Priest Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,&nbsp; Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are&mdash;yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God&rsquo;s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.&rdquo;</li>
<li>1 Timothy 1:6 &ldquo;For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God.&rdquo;</li>
<li>Jude 20-21 &ldquo;But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life,&rdquo;</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Recommended Resources: 
<ul>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/401AnCf">Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything</a>&nbsp;By Jessica Van Roekel</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3OpAZgQ">Sacred Scars: Resting in God&rsquo;s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3sCoqqm">The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms</a> by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories</li>
<li>YouVersion 5-Day Devotional&nbsp;<a href="http://bible.us/r/A57">Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3twWnXp">Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right</a> by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals</li>
<li><a href="https://www.bible.com/en-GB/reading-plans/31089-today-is-going-to-be-a-good-day">YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1</a></li>
<li><a href="https://my.bible.com/reading-plans/31151-today-is-going-to-be-another-good-day">YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://leanhealthyageless.com/revive-and-thrive-landing-mb/">Revive &amp; Thrive Women&rsquo;s Online Conference</a></li>
<li><a href="https://leanhealthyageless.com/fall-2020-revive-and-thrive-landing/">Revive &amp; Thrive Summit 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bit.ly/3mJPixb">Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bit.ly/3to2SJc">Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian&nbsp; Writer&rsquo;s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award&rsquo;s Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/16633-breaking-anxietys-grip-by-michelle-bengtson">YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip</a></li>
<li><a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip-study-guide/">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip Free Study Guide</a></li>
<li>Free PDF Resource: <a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/fight-anxious-fearful-thoughts-download/">How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J">Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor&rsquo;s Personal Journey Through Depression</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2yMdN46">Hope Prevails Bible Study</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award</li>
<li>Free Webinar: <a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-tips-to-beat-the-blues-webinar-replay-sign-up/">Help for When You&rsquo;re Feeling Blue</a></li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Social Media Links for Host and Guest:
Connect with Jessica Van Roekel:
<a href="https://welcomegrace.com/">Website</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/jessica.vanroekel/">Instagram</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/jessicavanroekel.author">Facebook</a>
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3OpAZgQ">Sacred Scars</a> / Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3sCoqqm">The Hem of His Garment</a> / Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3twWnXp">Today is Going to be a Good Day</a> / Order Book &nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/2Vvipro">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip</a>&nbsp;/ Order Book&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/2Vus9SJ">Hope Prevails</a>&nbsp; / &nbsp;<a href="https://www.drmichellebengtson.com/">Website</a>&nbsp; / &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/">Blog</a>&nbsp; /&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson">Facebook</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.twitter.com/DrMBengtson">Twitter</a>&nbsp;(@DrMBengtson) &nbsp;/&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson">LinkedIn</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;/&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson">Instagram</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails">Pinterest</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn92DHzGSZk8psDb2FKazOQ">YouTube</a> / <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-hope-filled-perspective-dr-michelle-bengtson-podcast/id1468018011">Podcast on Apple</a>
&nbsp;
Co-Host:
Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don&rsquo;t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God&rsquo;s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God&rsquo;s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.
&nbsp;
Hosted By:&nbsp;Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

Your Hope-Filled Perspective draws on Dr. Michelle Bengtson’s almost 3 decades of clinical expertise as a neuropsychologist to help her listeners regain hope, renew their minds, and transform their lives. With a perfect balance of clinical expertise, compassion, and vulnerability, Dr. Bengtson and her guests purpose to share Biblically-based hope-filled perspectives for real-life issues, struggles, and concerns. Voted #2 in 2022's Podcast Magazine's Top 50 Moms in Podcasting.

Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Your Hope-Filled Perspective draws on Dr. Michelle Bengtson&rsquo;s almost 3 decades of clinical expertise as a neuropsychologist to help her listeners regain hope, renew their minds, and transform their lives. With a perfect balance of clinical expertise, compassion, and vulnerability, Dr. Bengtson and her guests purpose to share Biblically-based hope-filled perspectives for real-life issues, struggles, and concerns. Voted #2 in 2022's Podcast Magazine's Top 50 Moms in Podcasting.