Episode Summary: 

Trauma can shatter our sense of safety, identity, and trust—especially when it comes at the hands of someone who vowed to love us. In today’s episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, I’m joined by a licensed professional counselor and marriage and family therapist whose story of surviving attempted murder is both heartbreaking and incredibly inspiring. Through her faith and her training, she has transformed her pain into purpose, helping others heal from grief, loss, and trauma. Today she shares how God meets us in our darkest moments and how we can reclaim our lives after the deepest wounds. This story is not about a villain and a victim. Instead, it is about a woman who, despite being victimized, chose healing and emerged victorious. Today we’re going to be talking about how to move from surviving to truly living again, even after the deepest hurts.

 

Quotables from the episode:
I will not be a victim. I was victimized.  And on that day, I was a victim.  But from that point on, I became I had been victimized, but I was not going to be a victim.
I said, “I want you to know I will forgive you.“ I kept declaring these things over myself without even realizing it.  Now, I did not forgive him that day, although I prayed for him that night when he was in jail. I had to work through that, but I knew that I will be forgiving.  I will be joyful.  I knew this is not going to be the end of my story because the devil will not have the last word.
Let me maybe clarify too, because even though I declared all that over me, that doesn't mean I wasn't falling apart at times.  You know, healing is not linear.  I was weeping.  I'd have good days and I'd had bad days.  So, I don't want to give the impression that I just said, okay, life will be great.
When people say, “where's God when bad things happen?”  You know, sometimes we say it as an accusation, like God wasn't there. I love to say, ask the Lord where he was because he was there.
I didn't know if I was going to live or die.  But in that moment, I knew I would not have died alone.  That it was Psalm 23 come alive that said, “yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you're with me.” So many people think, “well, we shouldn't walk through any valleys.”  But the Bible says we're going to walk through the shadow of the valley, the shadow of death.  The promise is he's not going to leave us.
The hardest person to forgive was myself.
I had to go back and rewrite those beliefs because I hadn't failed. I told myself and the enemy told me I had.
I've come to learn that you can heal without forgiveness, but you can't be whole.
I love to tell people that God is in the restoration business.  There is no story that is too far gone. There is nothing he cannot redeem because that's what God's specialty is, is bringing beauty from ashes.
Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it can't happen.  Hold on to God, who is the author of hope.  He's not going to let you down. 

 

Recommended Resources: 
Healing from Life’s Deepest Hurts: Reclaiming Your Life After Grief, Loss, or Trauma by Kimberly Haar, LPC, LMFT  
Free Stress-Response Personality Assessment
Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2
Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference
Revive & Thrive Summit 2
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue

 

Social Media Links for Host:

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

 

Guest: 

Kimberly Haar, LPC, LMFT, is a survivor of domestic violence, a licensed professional counselor, and a license marriage and family therapist with nearly two decades of experience helping others find healing and wholeness in life. Her therapy practice is located in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she continues to inspire hope and strength in those facing life’s challenges.

 

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson

Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson

Episode Summary: 
Trauma can shatter our sense of safety, identity, and trust&mdash;especially when it comes at the hands of someone who vowed to love us. In today&rsquo;s episode of&nbsp;Your Hope-Filled Perspective, I&rsquo;m joined by a licensed professional counselor and marriage and family therapist whose story of surviving attempted murder is both heartbreaking and incredibly inspiring. Through her faith and her training, she has transformed her pain into purpose, helping others heal from grief, loss, and trauma. Today she shares how God meets us in our darkest moments and how we can reclaim our lives after the deepest wounds. This story is not about a villain and a victim. Instead, it is about a woman who, despite being victimized, chose healing and emerged victorious. Today we&rsquo;re going to be talking about how to move from surviving to truly living again, even after the deepest hurts.
&nbsp;
Quotables from the episode:
<ul>
<li>I will not be a victim. I was victimized.&nbsp; And on that day, I was a victim.&nbsp; But from that point on, I became I had been victimized, but I was not going to be a victim.</li>
<li>I said, &ldquo;I want you to know I will forgive you.&ldquo; I kept declaring these things over myself without even realizing it.&nbsp; Now, I did not forgive him that day, although I prayed for him that night when he was in jail. I had to work through that, but I knew that I will be forgiving.&nbsp; I will be joyful.&nbsp; I knew this is not going to be the end of my story because the devil will not have the last word.</li>
<li>Let me maybe clarify too, because even though I declared all that over me, that doesn't mean I wasn't falling apart at times.&nbsp; You know, healing is not linear.&nbsp; I was weeping.&nbsp; I'd have good days and I'd had bad days.&nbsp; So, I don't want to give the impression that I just said, okay, life will be great.</li>
<li>When people say, &ldquo;where's God when bad things happen?&rdquo;&nbsp; You know, sometimes we say it as an accusation, like God wasn't there. I love to say, ask the Lord where he was because he was there.</li>
<li>I didn't know if I was going to live or die.&nbsp; But in that moment, I knew I would not have died alone.&nbsp; That it was Psalm 23 come alive that said, &ldquo;yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you're with me.&rdquo; So many people think, &ldquo;well, we shouldn't walk through any valleys.&rdquo;&nbsp; But the Bible says we're going to walk through the shadow of the valley, the shadow of death.&nbsp; The promise is he's not going to leave us.</li>
<li>The hardest person to forgive was myself.</li>
<li>I had to go back and rewrite those beliefs because I hadn't failed. I told myself and the enemy told me I had.</li>
<li>I've come to learn that you can heal without forgiveness, but you can't be whole.</li>
<li>I love to tell people that God is in the restoration business.&nbsp; There is no story that is too far gone. There is nothing he cannot redeem because that's what God's specialty is, is bringing beauty from ashes.</li>
<li>Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it can't happen.&nbsp; Hold on to God, who is the author of hope.&nbsp; He's not going to let you down.&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Recommended Resources:&nbsp;
<ul></ul>
<ul>
<li><a href="https://link.amazon/B0j253wkm">Healing from Life&rsquo;s Deepest Hurts: Reclaiming Your Life After Grief, Loss, or Trauma</a>&nbsp;by Kimberly Haar, LPC, LMFT &nbsp;</li>
<li><a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/srpa/">Free Stress-Response Personality Assessment</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3b4Tfsi"></a><a href="https://amzn.to/3OpAZgQ">Sacred Scars: Resting in God&rsquo;s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3sCoqqm">The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms</a> by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories</li>
<li>YouVersion 5-Day Devotional&nbsp;<a href="http://bible.us/r/A57">Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3twWnXp">Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right</a> by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals</li>
<li><a href="https://www.bible.com/en-GB/reading-plans/31089-today-is-going-to-be-a-good-day">YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1</a></li>
<li><a href="https://my.bible.com/reading-plans/31151-today-is-going-to-be-another-good-day">YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://leanhealthyageless.com/revive-and-thrive-landing-mb/">Revive &amp; Thrive Women&rsquo;s Online Conference</a></li>
<li><a href="https://leanhealthyageless.com/fall-2020-revive-and-thrive-landing/">Revive &amp; Thrive Summit 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bit.ly/3mJPixb">Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bit.ly/3to2SJc">Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian&nbsp; Writer&rsquo;s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award&rsquo;s Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/16633-breaking-anxietys-grip-by-michelle-bengtson">YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip</a></li>
<li><a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip-study-guide/">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip Free Study Guide</a></li>
<li>Free PDF Resource: <a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/fight-anxious-fearful-thoughts-download/">How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J">Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor&rsquo;s Personal Journey Through Depression</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2yMdN46">Hope Prevails Bible Study</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award</li>
<li>Free Webinar: <a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-tips-to-beat-the-blues-webinar-replay-sign-up/">Help for When You&rsquo;re Feeling Blue</a></li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Social Media Links for Host:
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3OpAZgQ">Sacred Scars</a> / Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3sCoqqm">The Hem of His Garment</a> / Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3twWnXp">Today is Going to be a Good Day</a> / Order Book &nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/2Vvipro">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip</a>&nbsp;/ Order Book&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/2Vus9SJ">Hope Prevails</a>&nbsp; / &nbsp;<a href="https://www.drmichellebengtson.com/">Website</a>&nbsp; / &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/">Blog</a>&nbsp; /&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson">Facebook</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.twitter.com/DrMBengtson">Twitter</a>&nbsp;(@DrMBengtson) &nbsp;/&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson">LinkedIn</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;/&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson">Instagram</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails">Pinterest</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn92DHzGSZk8psDb2FKazOQ">YouTube</a> / <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-hope-filled-perspective-dr-michelle-bengtson-podcast/id1468018011">Podcast on Apple</a>
&nbsp;
Guest: 
Kimberly Haar, LPC, LMFT, is a survivor of domestic violence, a licensed professional counselor, and a license marriage and family therapist with nearly two decades of experience helping others find healing and wholeness in life. Her therapy practice is located in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she continues to inspire hope and strength in those facing life&rsquo;s challenges.
&nbsp;
Hosted By:&nbsp;Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson

Your Hope-Filled Perspective draws on Dr. Michelle Bengtson’s almost 3 decades of clinical expertise as a neuropsychologist to help her listeners regain hope, renew their minds, and transform their lives. With a perfect balance of clinical expertise, compassion, and vulnerability, Dr. Bengtson and her guests purpose to share Biblically-based hope-filled perspectives for real-life issues, struggles, and concerns. Voted #2 in 2022's Podcast Magazine's Top 50 Moms in Podcasting.

Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Your Hope-Filled Perspective draws on Dr. Michelle Bengtson&rsquo;s almost 3 decades of clinical expertise as a neuropsychologist to help her listeners regain hope, renew their minds, and transform their lives. With a perfect balance of clinical expertise, compassion, and vulnerability, Dr. Bengtson and her guests purpose to share Biblically-based hope-filled perspectives for real-life issues, struggles, and concerns. Voted #2 in 2022's Podcast Magazine's Top 50 Moms in Podcasting.

Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson

How to Move from Surviving to Truly Living Again, Even After the Deepest Hurts

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/a3323f23-5693-4455-b97c-b4c8002b205b/transcript