Episode Summary: 

In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, I’m joined by my friend, Pastor Jessica Van Roekel, as we talk about something so many of us are facing today—the growing challenges of stress and a work-life balance that feels anything but balanced. Together, we share from our personal stories, our professional backgrounds, and, most importantly, from a place of faith.  We offer practical strategies to help you reclaim peace, set healthy boundaries, and redefine what true success looks like. My hope is that through our honest conversation, you’ll be reminded that grace and flexibility are available, and that lasting peace is found when we anchor our lives in faith.

 

Quotables from the episode:
Stress is something we all face to a greater or lesser extent. We live in a culture that promotes “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me” but if we aren’t careful to attend to appropriate stress management, prolonged stress can have a detrimental impact on our physical, emotional, mental well-being. If we go too long, for too strong, ultimately our bodies will demand we stop. So how do we work toward better work-life balance?
Stress comes from a variety of places, but if we don’t learn to manage stress, it will manage us. We as women struggle with the work/life balance in a unique way because culture tells us success is gained or lost in the workplace, yet we are often the primary caregivers for our family (including everything from laundry to holiday costume sewing to permission slip signing to kissing boo-boos).
In 1970, about 43 percent of women ages 16 and older were in the labor force. By 2000, 61 percent of adult women were in the labor force and that has continued through today. Arguably, today women have more on their plates than a generation ago, with less down time to rest and restore.
Stress is a physiological and psychological response that occurs when we perceive a threat or challenge that EXCEEDS OUR COPING RESOURCES.  This perception triggers the body's CENTRAL STRESS MGMT SYSTEM, particularly the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and the sympathetic nervous system (increased Heart Rate, Blood is directed to our muscles, increased alertness so you can face danger or run away) leading to the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
Once stress passes, the HPA axis should return to normal but often doesn’t because we live life in a heightened state of stress.
Our brain doesn’t know the difference between good stress and bad stress.
While this natural stress response is useful for short-term danger, chronic stress keeps these hormones elevated for extended periods, which can harm both mental and physical health.
Perfect balance is a myth; instead, balance is fluid and flexible.
Sometimes career demands take precedence, while other times, family needs do. Extending grace to yourself and adjusting priorities based on seasons of life can prevent both guilt and burnout.
The myth of “multi-tasking”—it’s physiologically impossible for your brain to multitask.
Physically, chronic stress can cause headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, and a weakened immune system. It also raises the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, digestive issues, and sleep disturbances, impacting overall physical wellness.
Stress has significant effects on brain function and structure. ACUTE stress can sharpen focus and improve short-term performance by enhancing activity in brain regions like the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. However, chronic stress can have adverse effects and lead to structural changes in the brain, such as a reduction in the size of the hippocampus (affecting memory) and prefrontal cortex (affecting decision-making and executive function), while potentially increasing the size and activity of the amygdala (heightening emotional responses).
Chronic stress often leads to constant worry, difficulty concentrating, and memory issues. The brain, under prolonged stress, struggles to function optimally, making it harder to focus and think clearly.
Emotionally, prolonged stress can lead to feelings of irritability, anxiety, and even hopelessness and despair. It can cause mood swings and may contribute to depression, as persistent stress wears down emotional resilience.
Constant connectivity has been shown to increase stress, as people may feel pressured by comparisons, notifications, and the need to stay updated.
Increased academic and career pressures, societal instability, and economic uncertainty can all contribute to heightened stress.
Having too much on our plate in one arena of our life leading to insufficient time and energy to devote to other areas of our life can spur stress.
Consider adopting both a weekly and daily planning ritual across both your work and personal life whereby you establish the top 10 priorities for the week, then the top 3 priorities for each day, while circling the non-negotiable tasks. This narrows our focus and reduces the overwhelm of a long to-do list.
When we consider that stress arises when situations exceed our coping resources and anxiety results from a fear of losing control, if we lower our expectations of others it leads to decreased stress & anxiety when things don’t measure up.
Also, we often expect more from ourselves than do others. If you were to list everything you expect of yourself in a day or week, would you reasonably expect the same from others?
Set Boundaries: we teach people how to treat us, and part of that is by setting and respecting boundaries. This includes learning to say “no” or “not now” gracefully and asking for help without guilt. Furthermore, appropriate boundary setting includes prioritizing non-negotiable family time, reserving specific hours for work, and protecting time for self-care.
Consider Self-Care as Non-Negotiable: Redefine self-care as essential for your mental and physical health, including basics like adequate nutrition, exercise, scheduled rest breaks throughout the day, and consistent sleep-hygiene.
Self-care also includes self-compassion especially on challenging days. There are no perfect days, but how we talk to ourselves on both good and challenging days matters! Pay attention to your thoughts and assess if you would talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself?
Adopt a growth mindset: understanding that true success includes inner peace and joy, not just career milestones.
Redefine “Success” in the Context of Balance: Never has anyone said at the end of their life that they wish they’d worked more. Consider envisioning a successful life that includes time for loved ones, mental wellness, and personal fulfillment.
Return to Faith as Your Foundation: Surrender control to God and stay anchored in faith.

 

Scripture References:
 Ecclesiastes 3
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Isaiah 30:15 “This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it.”
Psalm 23

 

Recommended Resources: 
Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel
Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2
Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference
Revive & Thrive Summit 2
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue

 

Social Media Links for Host and Guest:

Connect with Jessica Van Roekel:

Website / Instagram / Facebook

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

 

Co-Host:

Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.

 

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson

Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

Episode Summary: 
In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, I&rsquo;m joined by my friend, Pastor Jessica Van Roekel, as we talk about something so many of us are facing today&mdash;the growing challenges of stress and a work-life balance that feels anything but balanced. Together, we share from our personal stories, our professional backgrounds, and, most importantly, from a place of faith. &nbsp;We offer practical strategies to help you reclaim peace, set healthy boundaries, and redefine what true success looks like. My hope is that through our honest conversation, you&rsquo;ll be reminded that grace and flexibility are available, and that lasting peace is found when we anchor our lives in faith.
&nbsp;
Quotables from the episode:
<ul>
<li>Stress is something we all face to a greater or lesser extent. We live in a culture that promotes &ldquo;If it&rsquo;s going to be, it&rsquo;s up to me&rdquo; but if we aren&rsquo;t careful to attend to appropriate stress management, prolonged stress can have a detrimental impact on our physical, emotional, mental well-being. If we go too long, for too strong, ultimately our bodies will demand we stop. So how do we work toward better work-life balance?</li>
<li>Stress comes from a variety of places, but if we don&rsquo;t learn to manage stress, it will manage us. We as women struggle with the work/life balance in a unique way because culture tells us success is gained or lost in the workplace, yet we are often the primary caregivers for our family (including everything from laundry to holiday costume sewing to permission slip signing to kissing boo-boos).</li>
<li>In 1970, about 43 percent of women ages 16 and older were in the labor force. By 2000, 61 percent of adult women were in the labor force and that has continued through today. Arguably, today women have more on their plates than a generation ago, with less down time to rest and restore.</li>
<li>Stress is a physiological and psychological response that occurs when we perceive a threat or challenge that EXCEEDS OUR COPING RESOURCES. &nbsp;This perception triggers the body's CENTRAL STRESS MGMT SYSTEM, particularly the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and the sympathetic nervous system (increased Heart Rate, Blood is directed to our muscles, increased alertness so you can face danger or run away) leading to the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.</li>
<li>Once stress passes, the HPA axis should return to normal but often doesn&rsquo;t because we live life in a heightened state of stress.</li>
<li>Our brain doesn&rsquo;t know the difference between good stress and bad stress.</li>
<li>While this natural stress response is useful for short-term danger, chronic stress keeps these hormones elevated for extended periods, which can harm both mental and physical health.</li>
<li>Perfect balance is a myth; instead, balance is fluid and flexible.</li>
<li>Sometimes career demands take precedence, while other times, family needs do. Extending grace to yourself and adjusting priorities based on seasons of life can prevent both guilt and burnout.</li>
<li>The myth of &ldquo;multi-tasking&rdquo;&mdash;it&rsquo;s physiologically impossible for your brain to multitask.</li>
<li>Physically, chronic stress can cause headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, and a weakened immune system. It also raises the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, digestive issues, and sleep disturbances, impacting overall physical wellness.</li>
<li>Stress has significant effects on brain function and structure. ACUTE stress can sharpen focus and improve short-term performance by enhancing activity in brain regions like the&nbsp;amygdala and prefrontal cortex. However, chronic stress can have adverse effects and lead to structural changes in the brain, such as a reduction in the size of the hippocampus (affecting memory) and prefrontal cortex (affecting decision-making and executive function), while potentially increasing the size and activity of the amygdala (heightening emotional responses).</li>
<li>Chronic stress often leads to constant worry, difficulty concentrating, and memory issues. The brain, under prolonged stress, struggles to function optimally, making it harder to focus and think clearly.</li>
<li>Emotionally, prolonged stress can lead to feelings of irritability, anxiety, and even hopelessness and despair. It can cause mood swings and may contribute to depression, as persistent stress wears down emotional resilience.</li>
<li>Constant connectivity has been shown to increase stress, as people may feel pressured by comparisons, notifications, and the need to stay updated.</li>
<li>Increased academic and career pressures, societal instability, and economic uncertainty can all contribute to heightened stress.</li>
<li>Having too much on our plate in one arena of our life leading to insufficient time and energy to devote to other areas of our life can spur stress.</li>
<li>Consider adopting both a weekly and daily planning ritual across both your work and personal life whereby you establish the top 10 priorities for the week, then the top 3 priorities for each day, while circling the non-negotiable tasks. This narrows our focus and reduces the overwhelm of a long to-do list.</li>
<li>When we consider that stress arises when situations exceed our coping resources and anxiety results from a fear of losing control, if we lower our expectations of others it leads to decreased stress &amp; anxiety when things don&rsquo;t measure up.</li>
<li>Also,&nbsp;we often expect more from ourselves than do others. If you were to list everything you expect of yourself in a day or week, would you reasonably expect the same from others?</li>
<li>Set Boundaries: we teach people how to treat us, and part of that is by setting and respecting boundaries. This includes learning to say &ldquo;no&rdquo; or &ldquo;not now&rdquo; gracefully and asking for help without guilt. Furthermore, appropriate boundary setting includes prioritizing non-negotiable family time, reserving specific hours for work, and protecting time for self-care.</li>
<li>Consider Self-Care as Non-Negotiable: Redefine self-care as essential for your mental and physical health, including basics like adequate nutrition, exercise, scheduled rest breaks throughout the day, and consistent sleep-hygiene.</li>
<li>Self-care also includes self-compassion especially on challenging days. There are no perfect days, but how we talk to ourselves on both good and challenging days matters! Pay attention to your thoughts and assess if you would talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself?</li>
<li>Adopt a growth mindset: understanding that true success includes inner peace and joy, not just career milestones.</li>
<li>Redefine &ldquo;Success&rdquo; in the Context of Balance: Never has anyone said at the end of their life that they wish they&rsquo;d worked more. Consider envisioning a successful life that includes time for loved ones, mental wellness, and personal fulfillment.</li>
<li>Return to Faith as Your Foundation: Surrender control to God and stay anchored in faith.</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Scripture References:
<ul>
<li>&nbsp;Ecclesiastes 3</li>
<li>Matthew 11:28-30 &ldquo;Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. &ldquo;Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.&rdquo;</li>
<li>Isaiah 30:15 &ldquo;This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: &ldquo;Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it.&rdquo;</li>
<li>Psalm 23</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Recommended Resources: 
<ul>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/401AnCf">Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything</a>&nbsp;By Jessica Van Roekel</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3OpAZgQ">Sacred Scars: Resting in God&rsquo;s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3sCoqqm">The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms</a> by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories</li>
<li>YouVersion 5-Day Devotional&nbsp;<a href="http://bible.us/r/A57">Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3twWnXp">Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right</a> by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals</li>
<li><a href="https://www.bible.com/en-GB/reading-plans/31089-today-is-going-to-be-a-good-day">YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1</a></li>
<li><a href="https://my.bible.com/reading-plans/31151-today-is-going-to-be-another-good-day">YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://leanhealthyageless.com/revive-and-thrive-landing-mb/">Revive &amp; Thrive Women&rsquo;s Online Conference</a></li>
<li><a href="https://leanhealthyageless.com/fall-2020-revive-and-thrive-landing/">Revive &amp; Thrive Summit 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bit.ly/3mJPixb">Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bit.ly/3to2SJc">Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian&nbsp; Writer&rsquo;s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award&rsquo;s Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/16633-breaking-anxietys-grip-by-michelle-bengtson">YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip</a></li>
<li><a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip-study-guide/">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip Free Study Guide</a></li>
<li>Free PDF Resource: <a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/fight-anxious-fearful-thoughts-download/">How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J">Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor&rsquo;s Personal Journey Through Depression</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2yMdN46">Hope Prevails Bible Study</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award</li>
<li>Free Webinar: <a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-tips-to-beat-the-blues-webinar-replay-sign-up/">Help for When You&rsquo;re Feeling Blue</a></li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Social Media Links for Host and Guest:
Connect with Jessica Van Roekel:
<a href="https://welcomegrace.com/">Website</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/jessica.vanroekel/">Instagram</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/jessicavanroekel.author">Facebook</a>
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3OpAZgQ">Sacred Scars</a> / Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3sCoqqm">The Hem of His Garment</a> / Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3twWnXp">Today is Going to be a Good Day</a> / Order Book &nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/2Vvipro">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip</a>&nbsp;/ Order Book&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/2Vus9SJ">Hope Prevails</a>&nbsp; / &nbsp;<a href="https://www.drmichellebengtson.com/">Website</a>&nbsp; / &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/">Blog</a>&nbsp; /&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson">Facebook</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.twitter.com/DrMBengtson">Twitter</a>&nbsp;(@DrMBengtson) &nbsp;/&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson">LinkedIn</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;/&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson">Instagram</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails">Pinterest</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn92DHzGSZk8psDb2FKazOQ">YouTube</a> / <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-hope-filled-perspective-dr-michelle-bengtson-podcast/id1468018011">Podcast on Apple</a>
&nbsp;
Co-Host:
Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don&rsquo;t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God&rsquo;s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God&rsquo;s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.
&nbsp;
Hosted By:&nbsp;Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

Your Hope-Filled Perspective draws on Dr. Michelle Bengtson’s almost 3 decades of clinical expertise as a neuropsychologist to help her listeners regain hope, renew their minds, and transform their lives. With a perfect balance of clinical expertise, compassion, and vulnerability, Dr. Bengtson and her guests purpose to share Biblically-based hope-filled perspectives for real-life issues, struggles, and concerns. Voted #2 in 2022's Podcast Magazine's Top 50 Moms in Podcasting.

Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Your Hope-Filled Perspective draws on Dr. Michelle Bengtson&rsquo;s almost 3 decades of clinical expertise as a neuropsychologist to help her listeners regain hope, renew their minds, and transform their lives. With a perfect balance of clinical expertise, compassion, and vulnerability, Dr. Bengtson and her guests purpose to share Biblically-based hope-filled perspectives for real-life issues, struggles, and concerns. Voted #2 in 2022's Podcast Magazine's Top 50 Moms in Podcasting.