Episode Summary: 

In this week’s episode, I’m talking with Dawn Ward, who shares her painful story of being a mother to two sons who have struggled with addiction. Dawn shares how God has used those wounds, healed them, and given her purpose in her pain to encourage us that God never wastes our pain.

 

Quotables from the episode:

 
I was a Christian and I thought that if I took my children church and taught them the Bible and did all the things according to God's word then those evil elements of the world would somehow not get to our family, but that didn't prove to be true.
When I tried to outrun old wounds from my childhood, these old pains and things that had hurt me so much came back to haunt me when my son became involved with the wrong friends and the wrong movies and troublesome behaviors.
Both of my sons struggled with addiction and I faced intense guilt and self-blame and shame because at that point I thought it was my fault.
I remember crying out to God, “I thought that I was doing better in my relationship with you. I thought I had more faith. I thought I trusted you. And now I'm just in a big pool of my own tears.” And that is so often what happens when we hear messages in childhood that are not always based in truth.
Earlier in my life, in my career, my faith, or things that God was tugging at my heart to do, I was reluctant to step out and be bold and do those things because I didn't feel adequate. I didn't feel like I would be able to do it. And I look back on opportunities that God put in front of me, and I told myself I couldn't do them.
There came a breaking point where I realized I have to figure this out, because if I don’t figure out how God sees me and the things that he’s given me responsibility for and that he trusts me to be a wife and to be a mother, but yet I’m not trusting myself to do it with his help.
I needed to trust God to begin to reveal lies and the thought patterns that were holding me back and affecting all my relationships.
One day my husband confronted me and said, “You are going to worry yourself to death.” And I told him he had permission to write that on my tombstone, “She worried herself to death.” But I heard the Lord say to me, “No, it’s going to say she trusted God.” That was an aha moment for me when I realized that every choice that I made moving forward, I needed to ask, “Do I trust you, Lord? Even though this doesn’t make sense. Even though I can’t understand why it’s going this way.”
So, I wrote a book hoping maybe other moms wouldn’t have to go through as much pain and all of the hard lessons I had to go through. It’s really about getting our relationship back with the Lord and having our faith in him that can withstand these storms and helping us to trust him in the process of those difficult and painful things that we have no control over.
That’s the same thing with us with these wounds. If we don’t allow God to heal them the way that he wants to heal them.
Most of us wouldn’t sign up for half the stuff that we end up having to go through in our life. But the beautiful thing is that when we turn it over to God and we trust God through it, he can bring something beautiful out of those painful wounds.
Another benefit that comes from that is our relationship with our children and our loved ones, whether they’re in a good place or not, it becomes healthier just because we become healthier and stronger and we’re healing.
I look back and sometimes truthfully wish I didn’t have to bear this trial, or that my children didn’t have to bear their trial. But I can see that God has cultivated trust and faith and hope through his grace into my life. And I’m so grateful for that because I don’t think I could have really healed from some of the things I went through as a child without him working through the process of this healing with me as an adult.
God is not finished writing your story, or your child’s story. He loves you very much. If we can imagine how much we love our child and to imagine that God loves them that much more, and he loves us too. When we look at our God and what he is capable of and realize that his eye is on that one little lost sheep that’s wandering, that gives us hope.

 

Recommended Resources: 
Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2
Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference
Revive & Thrive Summit 2
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue

 

Social Media Links for Host and Guest:

Connect with Dawn Ward:

Website / Facebook / Instagram

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

 

Guest:

Dawn Ward is a speaker, writer, and biblical life coach. She is the founder of The Faith to Flourish, a ministry equipping women to live transformed lives through inspiring teaching, mentoring, and biblical resources. Dawn also offers support and encouragement to women with addicted loved ones. She is married to Steve and mom to three adult children. Her book, From Guilt to Grace: Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of Addicted Children is scheduled for release in September 2024.

 

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson

Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

Episode Summary: 
In this week&rsquo;s episode, I&rsquo;m talking with Dawn Ward, who shares her painful story of being a mother to two sons who have struggled with addiction. Dawn shares how God has used those wounds, healed them, and given her purpose in her pain to encourage us that God never wastes our pain.
&nbsp;
Quotables from the episode:
&nbsp;
<ul>
<li>I was a Christian and I thought that if I took my children church and taught them the Bible and did all the things according to God's word then those evil elements of the world would somehow not get to our family, but that didn't prove to be true.</li>
<li>When I tried to outrun old wounds from my childhood, these old pains and things that had hurt me so much came back to haunt me when my son became involved with the wrong friends and the wrong movies and troublesome behaviors.</li>
<li>Both of my sons struggled with addiction and I faced intense guilt and self-blame and shame because at that point I thought it was my fault.</li>
<li>I remember crying out to God, &ldquo;I thought that I was doing better in my relationship with you. I thought I had more faith. I thought I trusted you. And now I'm just in a big pool of my own tears.&rdquo; And that is so often what happens when we hear messages in childhood that are not always based in truth.</li>
<li>Earlier in my life, in my career, my faith, or things that God was tugging at my heart to do, I was reluctant to step out and be bold and do those things because I didn't feel adequate. I didn't feel like I would be able to do it. And I look back on opportunities that God put in front of me, and I told myself I couldn't do them.</li>
<li>There came a breaking point where I realized I have to figure this out, because if I don&rsquo;t figure out how God sees me and the things that he&rsquo;s given me responsibility for and that he trusts me to be a wife and to be a mother, but yet I&rsquo;m not trusting myself to do it with his help.</li>
<li>I needed to trust God to begin to reveal lies and the thought patterns that were holding me back and affecting all my relationships.</li>
<li>One day my husband confronted me and said, &ldquo;You are going to worry yourself to death.&rdquo; And I told him he had permission to write that on my tombstone, &ldquo;She worried herself to death.&rdquo; But I heard the Lord say to me, &ldquo;No, it&rsquo;s going to say she trusted God.&rdquo; That was an aha moment for me when I realized that every choice that I made moving forward, I needed to ask, &ldquo;Do I trust you, Lord? Even though this doesn&rsquo;t make sense. Even though I can&rsquo;t understand why it&rsquo;s going this way.&rdquo;</li>
<li>So, I wrote a book hoping maybe other moms wouldn&rsquo;t have to go through as much pain and all of the hard lessons I had to go through. It&rsquo;s really about getting our relationship back with the Lord and having our faith in him that can withstand these storms and helping us to trust him in the process of those difficult and painful things that we have no control over.</li>
<li>That&rsquo;s the same thing with us with these wounds. If we don&rsquo;t allow God to heal them the way that he wants to heal them.</li>
<li>Most of us wouldn&rsquo;t sign up for half the stuff that we end up having to go through in our life. But the beautiful thing is that when we turn it over to God and we trust God through it, he can bring something beautiful out of those painful wounds.</li>
<li>Another benefit that comes from that is our relationship with our children and our loved ones, whether they&rsquo;re in a good place or not, it becomes healthier just because we become healthier and stronger and we&rsquo;re healing.</li>
<li>I look back and sometimes truthfully wish I didn&rsquo;t have to bear this trial, or that my children didn&rsquo;t have to bear their trial. But I can see that God has cultivated trust and faith and hope through his grace into my life. And I&rsquo;m so grateful for that because I don&rsquo;t think I could have really healed from some of the things I went through as a child without him working through the process of this healing with me as an adult.</li>
<li>God is not finished writing your story, or your child&rsquo;s story. He loves you very much. If we can imagine how much we love our child and to imagine that God loves them that much more, and he loves us too. When we look at our God and what he is capable of and realize that his eye is on that one little lost sheep that&rsquo;s wandering, that gives us hope.</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Recommended Resources: 
<ul>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3OpAZgQ">Sacred Scars: Resting in God&rsquo;s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3sCoqqm">The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms</a> by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories</li>
<li>YouVersion 5-Day Devotional&nbsp;<a href="http://bible.us/r/A57">Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3twWnXp">Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right</a> by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals</li>
<li><a href="https://www.bible.com/en-GB/reading-plans/31089-today-is-going-to-be-a-good-day">YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1</a></li>
<li><a href="https://my.bible.com/reading-plans/31151-today-is-going-to-be-another-good-day">YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://leanhealthyageless.com/revive-and-thrive-landing-mb/">Revive &amp; Thrive Women&rsquo;s Online Conference</a></li>
<li><a href="https://leanhealthyageless.com/fall-2020-revive-and-thrive-landing/">Revive &amp; Thrive Summit 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bit.ly/3mJPixb">Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bit.ly/3to2SJc">Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian&nbsp; Writer&rsquo;s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award&rsquo;s Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/16633-breaking-anxietys-grip-by-michelle-bengtson">YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip</a></li>
<li><a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip-study-guide/">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip Free Study Guide</a></li>
<li>Free PDF Resource: <a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/fight-anxious-fearful-thoughts-download/">How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J">Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor&rsquo;s Personal Journey Through Depression</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2yMdN46">Hope Prevails Bible Study</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award</li>
<li>Free Webinar: <a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-tips-to-beat-the-blues-webinar-replay-sign-up/">Help for When You&rsquo;re Feeling Blue</a></li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Social Media Links for Host and Guest:
Connect with Dawn Ward:
<a href="https://www.thefaithtoflourish.com/">Website</a> / <a href="https://www.facebook.com/thefaithtoflourish">Facebook</a> / <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thefaithtoflourishblog">Instagram</a>
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3OpAZgQ">Sacred Scars</a> / Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3sCoqqm">The Hem of His Garment</a> / Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3twWnXp">Today is Going to be a Good Day</a> / Order Book &nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/2Vvipro">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip</a>&nbsp;/ Order Book&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/2Vus9SJ">Hope Prevails</a>&nbsp; / &nbsp;<a href="https://www.drmichellebengtson.com/">Website</a>&nbsp; / &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/">Blog</a>&nbsp; /&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson">Facebook</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.twitter.com/DrMBengtson">Twitter</a>&nbsp;(@DrMBengtson) &nbsp;/&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson">LinkedIn</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;/&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson">Instagram</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails">Pinterest</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn92DHzGSZk8psDb2FKazOQ">YouTube</a> / <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-hope-filled-perspective-dr-michelle-bengtson-podcast/id1468018011">Podcast on Apple</a>
&nbsp;
Guest:
Dawn Ward is a speaker, writer, and biblical life coach. She is the founder of The Faith to Flourish, a ministry equipping women to live transformed lives through inspiring teaching, mentoring, and biblical resources. Dawn also offers support and encouragement to women with addicted loved ones. She is married to Steve and mom to three adult children. Her book, From Guilt to Grace: Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of Addicted Children is scheduled for release in September 2024.
&nbsp;
Hosted By:&nbsp;Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

Your Hope-Filled Perspective draws on Dr. Michelle Bengtson’s almost 3 decades of clinical expertise as a neuropsychologist to help her listeners regain hope, renew their minds, and transform their lives. With a perfect balance of clinical expertise, compassion, and vulnerability, Dr. Bengtson and her guests purpose to share Biblically-based hope-filled perspectives for real-life issues, struggles, and concerns. Voted #2 in 2022's Podcast Magazine's Top 50 Moms in Podcasting.

Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Your Hope-Filled Perspective draws on Dr. Michelle Bengtson&rsquo;s almost 3 decades of clinical expertise as a neuropsychologist to help her listeners regain hope, renew their minds, and transform their lives. With a perfect balance of clinical expertise, compassion, and vulnerability, Dr. Bengtson and her guests purpose to share Biblically-based hope-filled perspectives for real-life issues, struggles, and concerns. Voted #2 in 2022's Podcast Magazine's Top 50 Moms in Podcasting.