Episode Summary: 

In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, my co-host Rev. Jessica Van Roekel joins me to explore the heart issue behind grumbling and complaining and how it reflects a lack of trust in God’s provision and plan.

Grumbling is self-focused and rooted in unmet expectations, comparison, stress, and a scarcity mindset, leading to drained joy, strained relationships, and a disconnection from God’s presence.

In contrast, lament allows us to honestly share our pain with God while trusting His sovereignty.

Together, we discuss practical ways to combat a grumbling spirit, such as focusing on blessings, practicing gratitude, and seeking accountability. By shifting our perspective from what we lack to what we have in Christ, we can experience renewed joy, peace, and a deeper dependence on God, even in life’s challenges. Join us for How God Views Grumbling and Complaining & How to Cultivate a Grateful Heart.

Quotables from the episode:
God has the standards but I sometimes like to superimpose my standards on it and so then I struggle with perfectionism which is really driven out of insecurity and fear of rejection and I find myself getting into this grumbling cycle.
Sometimes when I'm in that cycle and then I choose gratitude, it feels a little fake. I don't know if I'm really truly genuine. And so I'm trying to understand that when God has called me to a new thing, it's going to feel a little not real at the moment or it's not going to feel as authentic because I'm starting a new   habit.
It's just like any time we try to establish a new habit. It takes time. It takes practice. It feels awkward at first and there are some personality types that lend themselves more quickly to grumbling and complaining and I think there are some personality types that lend themselves to always seeing the good in every situation and I want to be more like the latter than the former.
God's heart for you is good he wants you to trust him he wants you to let the love for him flow from a heart of gratitude for what he's done.
It is not just that grumbling reflects a lack of trust in God, but it really disdains him. And that's what really convicted me, is the fact that when I complain, I'm really disdaining God's work in my life because our circumstances flux from good to, they could be better, to I don't want to be here. Why am I here? And so when we then start complaining and grumbling against God, it really disdains the work that he's doing. There's a passage in Psalms that says that everything that touches our lives has to pass through his hands first. And when I, when I cut my hand, like a bowl like this, you know, there's, I think of God's hand being cupped. And I'm thinking, what is he actually also preventing from hitting my life? Because when we, when we cup our hands and water runs through them, there is a pool of water that stays in our hands.
When we grumble and complain, it reminds me of when we give a gift to someone and they don't receive it with a heart of gratitude. How hurtful that can be when our heart is for them.
Yet when we grumble and complain, it's like saying, "Yeah, that wasn't good enough, God. That's what I wanted." And who am I to tell God what to do? In fact, but we also have to give space for our heartaches too. Psalm 62:8 says to pour out your heart to God.
To look at Lament at first glance, it could look like grumbling and complaining. It's a fine distinction. Grumbling and complaining come from a heart of, I deserve this. So, grumbling and complaining is very self -focused, but lament is approaching God honestly, sharing our pain but recognizing that he is sovereign and his will be done and it gives the essence of I don't like where I'm at but I trust that your way is best.
Grumbling and complaining is self-driven with a heart that is not trusting God's sovereignty. Whereas lamenting is sharing our heartache. It's telling our heartache to God with a surrender to his sovereignty. It's almost as if grumbling and complaining is talking bad about God and lamenting is just talking to God, inviting him in to soothe our heart too. And then David has written so many wonderful songs where really it teaches us how to lament. He starts out with like, "Oh, my life is awful God. Why did you allow this to happen? You said you were faithful." And then in the next verse he's like, "But you are faithful God. I'm going to praise your name. I'm going to trust you. You're steadfast and merciful."
God desires us to grow in trust and dependence on Him, even during challenging times.
There are common reasons we fall into grumbling, like unmet expectations, comparison, stress, and focusing on what we lack rather than what we have.
Grumbling and complaining is speaking against God and is forming idols out of what it is we want and/or think we deserve.
A grumbling spirit can drain our joy, disconnect us from God’s presence, and even negatively impact our relationships with others.
Focusing on blessings, even small ones, can reshape our perspective, making it easier to find peace and joy in God’s presence.
Keep a journal or ask a friend to hold yourself accountable in a loving way. Maybe even wear a rubber band on your wrist and flick it every time you notice yourself complaining in order to increase our awareness of how habitual this really is.
Practice replacing each complaint with something to be thankful for. This helps to shift from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance in God.
Ask God for help in changing your hearts and to help you see His blessings more clearly each day.

Scripture References:
Philippians 2:14–15 "Do everything without grumbling or arguing…"
1 Corinthians 10:10 “And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18 “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Psalm 100:4 “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.”

Recommended Resources:
Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel
Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2
Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference
Revive & Thrive Summit 2
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue

 

Social Media Links for Host and Guest:

Connect with Jessica Van Roekel:

Website / Instagram / Facebook

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

 

Co-Host:

Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.

 

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson

Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

Episode Summary: 
In this episode of&nbsp;Your Hope-Filled Perspective, my co-host Rev. Jessica Van Roekel joins me to explore the heart issue behind grumbling and complaining and how it reflects a lack of trust in God&rsquo;s provision and plan.
Grumbling is self-focused and rooted in unmet expectations, comparison, stress, and a scarcity mindset, leading to drained joy, strained relationships, and a disconnection from God&rsquo;s presence.
In contrast, lament allows us to honestly share our pain with God while trusting His sovereignty.
Together, we discuss practical ways to combat a grumbling spirit, such as focusing on blessings, practicing gratitude, and seeking accountability. By shifting our perspective from what we lack to what we have in Christ, we can experience renewed joy, peace, and a deeper dependence on God, even in life&rsquo;s challenges. Join us for How God Views Grumbling and Complaining &amp; How to Cultivate a Grateful Heart.
Quotables from the episode:
<ul>
<li>God has the standards but I sometimes like to superimpose my standards on it and so then I struggle with perfectionism which is really driven out of insecurity and fear of rejection and I find myself getting into this grumbling cycle.</li>
<li>Sometimes when I'm in that cycle and then I choose gratitude, it feels a little fake. I don't know if I'm really truly genuine. And so I'm trying to understand that when God has called me to a new thing, it's going to feel a little not real at the moment or it's not going to feel as authentic because I'm starting a new &nbsp;&nbsp;habit.</li>
<li>It's just like any time we try to establish a new habit. It takes time. It takes practice. It feels awkward at first and there are some personality types that lend themselves more quickly to grumbling and complaining and I think there are some personality types that lend themselves to always seeing the good in every situation and I want to be more like the latter than the former.</li>
<li>God's heart for you is good he wants you to trust him he wants you to let the love for him flow from a heart of gratitude for what he's done.</li>
<li>It is not just that grumbling reflects a lack of trust in God, but it really disdains him. And that's what really convicted me, is the fact that when I complain, I'm really disdaining God's work in my life because our circumstances flux from good to, they could be better, to I don't want to be here. Why am I here? And so when we then start complaining and grumbling against God, it really disdains the work that he's doing. There's a passage in Psalms that says that everything that touches our lives has to pass through his hands first. And when I, when I cut my hand, like a bowl like this, you know, there's, I think of God's hand being cupped. And I'm thinking, what is he actually also preventing from hitting my life? Because when we, when we cup our hands and water runs through them, there is a pool of water that stays in our hands.</li>
<li>When we grumble and complain, it reminds me of when we give a gift to someone and they don't receive it with a heart of gratitude. How hurtful that can be when our heart is for them.</li>
<li>Yet when we grumble and complain, it's like saying, "Yeah, that wasn't good enough, God. That's what I wanted." And who am I to tell God what to do? In fact, but we also have to give space for our heartaches too. Psalm 62:8 says to pour out your heart to God.</li>
<li>To look at Lament at first glance, it could look like grumbling and complaining. It's a fine distinction. Grumbling and complaining come from a heart of, I deserve this. So, grumbling and complaining is very self -focused, but lament is approaching God honestly, sharing our pain but recognizing that he is sovereign and his will be done and it gives the essence of I don't like where I'm at but I trust that your way is best.</li>
<li>Grumbling and complaining is self-driven with a heart that is not trusting God's sovereignty. Whereas lamenting is sharing our heartache. It's telling our heartache to God with a surrender to his sovereignty. It's almost as if grumbling and complaining is talking bad about God and lamenting is just talking to God, inviting him in to soothe our heart too. And then David has written so many wonderful songs where really it teaches us how to lament. He starts out with like, "Oh, my life is awful God. Why did you allow this to happen? You said you were faithful." And then in the next verse he's like, "But you are faithful God. I'm going to praise your name. I'm going to trust you. You're steadfast and merciful."</li>
<li>God desires us to grow in trust and dependence on Him, even during challenging times.</li>
<li>There are common reasons we fall into grumbling, like unmet expectations, comparison, stress, and focusing on what we lack rather than what we have.</li>
<li>Grumbling and complaining is speaking against God and is forming idols out of what it is we want and/or think we deserve.</li>
<li>A grumbling spirit can drain our joy, disconnect us from God&rsquo;s presence, and even negatively impact our relationships with others.</li>
<li>Focusing on blessings, even small ones, can reshape our perspective, making it easier to find peace and joy in God&rsquo;s presence.</li>
<li>Keep a journal or ask a friend to hold yourself accountable in a loving way. Maybe even wear a rubber band on your wrist and flick it every time you notice yourself complaining in order to increase our awareness of how habitual this really is.</li>
<li>Practice replacing each complaint with something to be thankful for. This helps to shift from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance in God.</li>
<li>Ask God for help in changing your hearts and to help you see His blessings more clearly each day.</li>
</ul>
Scripture References:
<ul>
<li>Philippians 2:14&ndash;15 "Do everything without grumbling or arguing&hellip;"</li>
<li>1 Corinthians 10:10 &ldquo;And do not grumble, as some of them did&mdash;and were killed by the destroying angel.&rdquo;</li>
<li>1 Thessalonians 5:18 &ldquo;give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God&rsquo;s will for you in Christ Jesus.&rdquo;</li>
<li>Psalm 100:4 &ldquo;Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.&rdquo;</li>
</ul>
Recommended Resources:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/401AnCf">Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything</a>&nbsp;By Jessica Van Roekel</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3OpAZgQ">Sacred Scars: Resting in God&rsquo;s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3sCoqqm">The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms</a> by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories</li>
<li>YouVersion 5-Day Devotional&nbsp;<a href="http://bible.us/r/A57">Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/3twWnXp">Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right</a> by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals</li>
<li><a href="https://www.bible.com/en-GB/reading-plans/31089-today-is-going-to-be-a-good-day">YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1</a></li>
<li><a href="https://my.bible.com/reading-plans/31151-today-is-going-to-be-another-good-day">YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://leanhealthyageless.com/revive-and-thrive-landing-mb/">Revive &amp; Thrive Women&rsquo;s Online Conference</a></li>
<li><a href="https://leanhealthyageless.com/fall-2020-revive-and-thrive-landing/">Revive &amp; Thrive Summit 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bit.ly/3mJPixb">Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1</a></li>
<li><a href="https://bit.ly/3to2SJc">Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian&nbsp; Writer&rsquo;s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award&rsquo;s Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/16633-breaking-anxietys-grip-by-michelle-bengtson">YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip</a></li>
<li><a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip-study-guide/">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip Free Study Guide</a></li>
<li>Free PDF Resource: <a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/fight-anxious-fearful-thoughts-download/">How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win</a></li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J">Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor&rsquo;s Personal Journey Through Depression</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award</li>
<li><a href="https://amzn.to/2yMdN46">Hope Prevails Bible Study</a>&nbsp;by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader&rsquo;s Choice Award</li>
<li>Free Webinar: <a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/10-tips-to-beat-the-blues-webinar-replay-sign-up/">Help for When You&rsquo;re Feeling Blue</a></li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Social Media Links for Host and Guest:
Connect with Jessica Van Roekel:
<a href="https://welcomegrace.com/">Website</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/jessica.vanroekel/">Instagram</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/jessicavanroekel.author">Facebook</a>
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3OpAZgQ">Sacred Scars</a> / Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3sCoqqm">The Hem of His Garment</a> / Order Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3twWnXp">Today is Going to be a Good Day</a> / Order Book &nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/2Vvipro">Breaking Anxiety&rsquo;s Grip</a>&nbsp;/ Order Book&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/2Vus9SJ">Hope Prevails</a>&nbsp; / &nbsp;<a href="https://www.drmichellebengtson.com/">Website</a>&nbsp; / &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/">Blog</a>&nbsp; /&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson">Facebook</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.twitter.com/DrMBengtson">Twitter</a>&nbsp;(@DrMBengtson) &nbsp;/&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson">LinkedIn</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;/&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson">Instagram</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails">Pinterest</a>&nbsp;/&nbsp;<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn92DHzGSZk8psDb2FKazOQ">YouTube</a> / <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-hope-filled-perspective-dr-michelle-bengtson-podcast/id1468018011">Podcast on Apple</a>
&nbsp;
Co-Host:
Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don&rsquo;t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God&rsquo;s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God&rsquo;s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.
&nbsp;
Hosted By:&nbsp;Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

Your Hope-Filled Perspective draws on Dr. Michelle Bengtson’s almost 3 decades of clinical expertise as a neuropsychologist to help her listeners regain hope, renew their minds, and transform their lives. With a perfect balance of clinical expertise, compassion, and vulnerability, Dr. Bengtson and her guests purpose to share Biblically-based hope-filled perspectives for real-life issues, struggles, and concerns. Voted #2 in 2022's Podcast Magazine's Top 50 Moms in Podcasting.

Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Your Hope-Filled Perspective draws on Dr. Michelle Bengtson&rsquo;s almost 3 decades of clinical expertise as a neuropsychologist to help her listeners regain hope, renew their minds, and transform their lives. With a perfect balance of clinical expertise, compassion, and vulnerability, Dr. Bengtson and her guests purpose to share Biblically-based hope-filled perspectives for real-life issues, struggles, and concerns. Voted #2 in 2022's Podcast Magazine's Top 50 Moms in Podcasting.

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