Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson from The Daily ShowRecorded on 4/25/23.
“Yo, people really listen to this podcast.” - Dulcé Sloan
“This is the first time anybody’s been accused of writing one of the comments, and it’s me, and it’s for someone backing up what I’m saying.” - Josh Johnson
“Now I’m looking at some of these YouTube comments, and I think that there needs to be a second podcast where we just allow people to give Josh a hug.” - Roy Wood Jr.
To wrap up season one, Dulcé and Josh are reacting to their favorite comments from this season. Moderated by Roy Wood Jr., Dulcé and Josh respond to comments from “Conscious Rap vs. Club Bangers,” “Summer vs. Winter,” “Vanilla vs. Chocolate,” “Diners vs. Waffle House,” and “Chicken Soup vs. Tomato Soup!” It’s Dulcé and Josh vs. the YouTube Comments this week on the Hold Up season finale!
Listen to Hold Up on Apple Podcasts, the IHeart Radio App, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Click here for Dulcé’s tour dates: dailyshow.com/dulcesloan
Click here for Josh’s tour dates: dailyshow.com/joshjohnson
Welcome to Hold up, it's not Josh Johnson, it's not dual, say Sloan, It's me Roy Wood Junior. And on this episode we're going to be talking Wait, why a y'all looking at me like.
That, because it's not You're gonna say it's not us and we're here. If you if we weren't in the room, if you were in the room and you were like alone and you said it's not, say slow, it's not.
But it's like with the news, like when you hear a new voice, they'd be like, where the fuck is the other anchor.
I'm just saying, when you have a guest on a podcast, you introduce the guest. The guest doesn't introduce you, like when you have visitors, they don't open the door to your house.
It's first off, I thought, since I had already moderated y'all special episode a while back, was that the one a while back I.
Came in before what I came.
In on the previous episode and moderated some shit between y'all. So I thought that I already had keys to the crib and that y'all wouldn't mind me. That was what I'm saying.
That's what it was.
But it was an episode?
Is that what? Before we figure out what this was?
A promo counts as an episode. It was just a little commercial. Okay, that don't count.
No, negro don't count.
Okay, then you know what, y'all do your own intro?
Okay, well, hey, everybody is josh Johnson even why hey, hey, hey.
What you're not gonna do.
What you're not gonna do is come on this podcast and tell Joshua Ezekiel Johnson that he is not introducing the intro like the way he needs to be introducing.
I feel like I'm introducing it the same way. If anything, if anything, every time somebody listened, accusations, how many episodes of that podcast.
Listen, I will say that I am team spaghetti. Wow? Okay, wow, it was spaghetti versus lasagna, right, yes, yeah, spaghetti because it's more appliable, it's easier to make. Lasagna is a whole ordeal.
That was my whole point.
Yeah, yeah, but you were wrong.
Look here, what you think just because we in this tiny room.
Hey, hey, neither one of y'all can get it. I know both your mamas, you understand. I have had dinner with both of your mothers in the city of Atlanta because that's where black people live.
Okay, Oh yeah, we had dinner with t Pain Damn.
You're right, yeah, you.
Do know my mama Korean barbecue with your mama.
Okay, my bad. Josh, go ahead with your introduction.
The disrespect. Are you gonna come to somebody else's house and tell them that they wrong? In the trailer where we pay rent?
My my name is Josh Johnson. I'm right for the Daily Show, and I am joined by Don't Say's long.
Listen, just imagine that as.
A fireworks okay, yeah, with a pop pop with.
The yeah, because apparently you know what fun I did what I said. Listen, y'all trying to act like I'm not out here making these noises and I'm where.
Josh, You're in here, no out here, noise making.
In the in the mall.
Oh okay with with your father? Yeah yeah, yeah, I didn't know that. That didn't feel like the tea up that you thought it was.
You know what, I just said one word, so I was like, in here.
You know what I'm in here, I'm out here, we out here. I apologize that did not give you the proper the proper information, the proper tea up.
As you say, this episode is a very special episode. This episode is.
Where we get the most interaction that we've had with all of you. You know, this is this is the episode where we get some of that feedback, some of these opinions about what we said, and who's on our side and who's right and who's wrong and everything.
And who's supporting a good Christian woman.
And then Roy is here to moderate because if left to our own devices, as good of friends as we are, I feel like per comment, per subject, we would get too distracted.
I'm a walking tangent.
I'm a man.
I I'm not helpful A lot of the time.
I have so many things going on in my brain because as a creative person, okay you know the person who has like that, things like just the synopsiss like pop it off, the what's listen, I've been hanging out.
With PD but you but you see, I'm used to people touching the temple.
I'm not used to this and then this over and then this bad.
Well see the thing this is just thinking, Okay, this is the synapsis firing.
Ye do you mean synapses?
I thought you meant like multiple summaries.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Synopsis synopsis not SYNAPSI you know what, Let's go on to the first YouTube comment.
No, I'm making plural, y'all not gonna do me like this? How you're making plural?
There?
Look, it's a pleasure to be here and take a walk down memory lane of some of the biggest arguments that you two had conversations. Hey, look, whatever synopsis you want to put to it, you go, ready, head.
I have a whole bowl of fruit that I will throw.
The first comments come off of the very first episode Conscious Rap versus Club Bangers. Let's get to that.
I'm not a huge kindlick with maar fan because I think he sounds like a muppet.
So you could have stopped at not a huge fan. See, this is what you do. This, this is your whole vibe. You like to put your foot on the line and make sure your toe is over it.
Ten toes down? Baby?
Why? Why would why would you even need to include that? But I can respect you not being a huge fan. I'm just saying I think that.
But when you say you're not a big like when you say you're not like a Kendrick, people are like people want quantifiers, Well why, well, what is it? And my reason is his voice sounds like it's being done by Jim Henson. Y'all didn't even play the best line of that where Josh talks about his hatred for the song knuck if You Buck.
Oh, that's a literally man, have time to get into crime mob.
Josh, how do you feel about the song?
You know, at at the risk of losing the people who I have. I'm just gonna say it's not for me.
I'll tell you what he said.
He said that nuck if you buck sounds like a ged being thrown down the hall of a juvenile detention center.
That's that's pretty good.
I recall something to that effect.
And of course we have to now you can finally confront Roy about the award.
Oh yeah, yeah, you did betray me.
I'm not here to unpeck off. No, I'm here to talk about the YouTube comments.
I hear you, but you got to acknowledge that how did I betray you?
But I made the award.
I was going to say first place, and you told me to change it the runner up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because second place stings a little more no matter what it is, it just stings a little.
And it was a betrayal because you didn't have to say anything, you know what I mean. That's the first piece of mail I got in this building.
That's why he's always so upset about it.
The runner up for the If You Buck Yeah, yeah.
For knucking and bucking and being ready to fight.
And I expect this type of thing from Dual Safe.
But like when she told me that you, I was like, not not one of my heroes. Just imagine, imagine if Babe Ruth side your baseball then spit on it and threw it in the other direction. I'm showing up. It's fresh face. Excited to write and work with Roy Wood, Julia. I've been watching them for years and everything, and they do tell me like, oh, the last part, the part that's the worst.
That was Roy's idea.
Tell serous, I wanted to know conscious rap versus club. Here's here's some of the YouTube comments. Number one, I would go straight for Josh, no joke. We should clone them. There needs to be more people like him in this. Thank you Sarah, Thank you Sarah.
I appreciate you.
Right, that's nice when you do you engage YouTube comments such a broader sentiment.
N I like having self esteem. Bro, I'm already working hard enough.
I keep it on.
People talk about Instagram and Facebook stuff. I like YouTube and I like Reddit because they got the time you get a critique from somebody on YouTube or Reddit, oh it's been thought through social media comments are just.
Yeah, yeah, social will be mean for no reason. But when YouTube is mean, at least in my experience, because I'm not surfing the internet as a woman, right, so I'm not getting the level of toxicity. A lot of the stuff that I get is pretty well earned. And I remember I did a Comedy Central set years ago and it was when I had my afro, right, and it was not at its biggest, but at its second biggest. So we're talking like pre pandemic afro ron Taylor fro and right. The first comment, top comment was because you know in the thumbnail, I'm smiling just like like given, like you know, happy days and everything. And the first comment was Josh looks has shaved as well, and they were like, Josh looks like.
A single mom. Just trying to make it.
And it was because then when you click it, I was wearing like a shawl because because I don't know what's fashionable. I felt I felt swave in it.
You know. Oh Lord, next coment, Thank you, Rebecca. Rebecca Johnson says, So this is where Josh Johnson went. You went in on Lil Wayne, this is where you went on this topic. How dare you, Josh?
Well, As someone who's also from Louisiana, I feel like I can, you know, and then for someone who has ears, I feel like I also can. I'm not I'm not speaking to his lyrical ability or his level of success or his business acumen. I am speaking to his voice that I can hear, and.
We all hear it.
You know what I mean? When he does that little like.
That, that thing right there is drugs.
I have no problem saying it.
Death yoh, dump a bag boy, a ride yo boy.
Look it slaps the drugs really got a hold of his.
First time I heard lollipop, I thought aliens were landing.
Yes, yes, exactly.
We were at Camp record store and it was me and my homegirl because we didn't have a job. It was middle of the day, God bless and we were just I think we're saying out like DJ Monte, you remember, like all them oop camps, like DJ Jelly, all of them.
Boom Camp was a local collective of Atlanta music creatives during the early Thank You so.
Much, and they had record stores that you could just be there, and so we were sitting there minding my business and then Lollipop starts playing and it was the first time anybody had like they just started to play it, and I think like it came on the radio like two days before or something, ain't that And it starts playing and me and my homewirl were like, bitch aliens because they were just something about that, and we're like, no, I think this might be and I just worked shoddy.
I like, oh, it's a song, this song.
But when I thought I was sober, it was like three pm and I legitimately thought the sun was out and me and my homegirl with aliens, and I was like, no, it's so.
J Peterson had one that I wanted to get your opinion on. They'll say, they said, quote, can I just say, Josh is my doppel ganger from another color? Now we don't know what to hang on. But we don't know what color Ja Peterson is.
He's white. You don't know that he's white.
Other colors there are other colors.
No person of color would say that, can you They just say Josh is just Can I just say Josh is my doppelganger?
Here's my question to you off this comment se has nothing to do with conscious rap versus any of the other ship. Have you ever met your white doppel ganger? No, you never met a white woman with a fro.
I've never met a white woman with my face.
To Shae, I would love to believe that it's Jordan Peterson.
Peterson, What's what's the last one? What's the last one? I think they had one more from Levora Battle Levora rights love this, but I have to say Brenda's got a baby is the reason I'm not a Tupac fan. I would literally turn off the radio, damn Levora and go play outside when it came on. Otherwise totally would dull say I want to bop okay, and Tupac had a lot of bops, but Tupac every now and then would have a hey, y'all, we got to get it together. Changes yeah for me?
Yeah right, yeah, I mean, you know, duality one. And let you know, first of all, the fact that she was turning off Tupac and going to play outside.
Mm hmm.
But you know how old Miss Levora is. Second, nobody likes Brenda's Got a Baby. No one enjoyed that song. It was so sad you could not no.
One fact that they played it on the radio. Its wild didn't get played like that back then, No, And then it was like it was because it was.
Part But then you play it and be like, ah, play California Love, verge.
It tastes out of my mouth. But like I've heard it maybe two times in life.
It's not that different from Dear Mama in the sense that it's about the hardships of growing up in the hood and it's low key. One of the most pro feminist songs Tupac ever did was Brenda's Got a Baby.
I mean California Love was a pro feminist.
I mean there was some girls in there shaking their ass out there in the desert, which side by that California Love video not sexy.
Like even when you talk about beaches, it depends on the beach, because stranded is not sexy. Yeah, I mean, if we're just out somewhere, even no matter how nice it is, if we can't get home or where we want.
To get got to find a lagoon or something.
Sex is not on my mind, you know what?
On this one.
I'm just like, I was like, where could I be stranded and would want to have have sex? But it's like we strained with somebody coming to get us.
I think what it is with a song like Brenda's Got a Baby. I think the issue with conscious rapp is that what are you listening to the music for. Are you listening to music for it to emotionally feel something or are you listening to music to escape?
You ain't escaping nothing. If you're listen to the Britain's having a baby, they pull us. It's an awful world.
What I'm saying. That's what some people. It's like the people who like who enjoyed the torture porn that it's documentaries and true crime novel podcast. Okay, that's people who like pain. And then there's people who just want to watch a ninety day fiance.
Okay, well think about that City High song.
What would you do if your child got that?
That's the way that they've been able to.
Come agree and a little bit of you got to.
Sleep with a man for a little bit of money, so they were able to make it's the only time where.
A truly socially conscious song has been a bot, the only time. What's a name another one?
Yeah, that's true, and that's City High that.
I think J Cole's middle Child was good.
And that group ended up breaking up because of like love and drugs. They had their own drama, so to say that they weren't aware of the horrors of the things they were singing about. So yeah, you know that shit came from the heart. Yeah, all right, new topic. Now, this was another one that you all got into the debate of summer versus winter. I am team Winter, just for the record.
The fuck why?
Because I grew up the same place as U d the South, Yes, one hundred degrees. Everything I did was outdoors my entire childhood. I don't think I was even inside until school. That's the only time I was in air conditioning in the South, and then I grew up playing baseball. So I'm just outdoor the heat. You could be buttonneked. It's still one hundred degrees, but you can dress properly for a ten degree.
Wind chill drenched, dehydrated heat stroke.
Oh you mama, that wouldn't let you inside.
I spent every summer in Mississippi out doors from eleven am to no.
Literally no, my mama wanted us to come inside.
Ah.
So we lived in Miami too.
Let's let's that's different. So you had a fucking beach. I was outdoors in Clarksdale, Mississippi.
Hey, hey, hey, you think niggas went to the beach all the time?
No? Yo, I know people in Miami has never seen the water. Yeah, wow, niggas.
They would go to the beach with their hair and nails done and never get in the water.
Yeah, be like, I can see it.
Let's go to the clip before we go to the comings.
Your most fun activities are there in the summertime. Oh so you enjoy snowboarding, you enjoy the boggaining, you enjoy skiing.
It's not about snowboarding your skiing, all right, It's about having like a nice nature walk in the winter. If I'm in the woods, it's.
Cold, it's thirty degrees outside, go inside.
What do you mean people act like you can't gear up for the winter.
You could be You could be so comfortable if you just gear up for the for the temperature in a heat wave that you can't take off the skin you can take off everything, but you be naked.
And still hot.
All right, But in winter you gear up enough and you're just comfortable until you.
Go inside somewhere, and then you're sweating your life away.
Because that's the other thing about the wintertime.
Is that, oh okay, all right. The other thing about the water time.
Is it's so hot indoors.
Let me tell you something. I hate being hot. I hate being cold outside and I hate being hot inside.
I can't believe that line GotY twice. What sweat your life? I was actually laughing on beat with my last I love I love.
What Abby Wire said here, though, Josh, because I didn't think about what you said in that context said quote. I never thought Josh might be a serial killer until he mentioned nature walks in the winter. Look at God, there is some killer shit. I ain't say nothing about going on the nature walk in the snow. I ain't say I like snow. I just said I prefer I'd rather go to war with a windshield than heat index.
Yeah, I enjoy the snow. I think the snow is great. I think the place that the snow is the best's.
Because you grew up in little But that's a sub winter conversation. That's a conversation about winter within winter. What do you like to do during winter? I'm just saying if you like to.
Make snow angels and shit half snowball fight?
Yeah?
Yeah, Well why are you humming? Like that's suspicially?
You ever had a good time in the snow? Like, did you ever go to the snow is fun?
Yeah?
Thank you the first two days and then it keeps being there.
Yeah, so it's like so then it's just coverts and then it's like it don't stay pretty.
You're talking about city snow though, oh country snow. Country snow is great.
Gatlin Berg? You ever go to Gatlinburg? You ever make that trip with the other black felk to do the pajama weekends every black history. That's like a Southern thing.
I wasn't on I wasn't that black.
Okay, well, I was at a black college.
So no, I went to no, no, no, I went to very white school.
I have no student loans.
Next coming, it must be nice.
I can't relate eighty five thousand dollars degree. Baby, these white folks pay for airy thigh. Look at God.
Philip Lorene said, quote, I knew it. I saw the topic and I said to myself, there's no way she's not a summer girl, ah staying out on those late summer nights and joining the sunshine Sunshine and Beaches, and mister staycation is definitely a winter person.
He listens.
I love this show, but feel bad for Josh sometimes. Damn. See this is what the YouTube comments get deep and they start breaking your ass down. I love this show, but feel bad for Josh. How does he ever expect to win an argument against this woman?
Damn easily.
Could have ended at Sunshine and Beaches.
One hundred percent.
And and the thing is, okay, look he did came look bro, because you know, this is what happened.
Though.
I think over the course of the season, there were a lot of there were a lot of things that we chose to talk about where uh dul Say's opinion as well as well as her you know, her points appealed to the people in a way that Look, I was by myself, I could not appeal in the same way.
Somebody called you a serial killer, bro, I've never been called that. I've been called sating. Someone ever said I was taking lives repeatedly.
So later in the season, you'll see where I start to pick up some steam.
All right, I.
Called you Dexter Morgan from Miami PD.
This is why I'm really just trying to, you know, stick to the overall topic, like stay on the show.
The grind MLG.
Yes, I was for somebody to bring us up.
In The grind is officially a running gag in these debates, and we'll never get tired of it because I'm dying from the absolute creative improv going on there.
If summer is about a lot of payoff, you know, you're out in the world, You're getting to see your friends, go on vacation stuff like that. The winter, the wintertime is about the grind, all right. It's about staying home. It's about staying home. It's about no days off, it's about doing. It's about doing what the other people don't see because you're inside grinding.
Okay, now that's true. That's very true. Thank you.
Oh like a grasshopper in an ant situation.
Yeah, the winter is where you like work. Summers where you show off the work. Summers also where you recruit the friends you'll need during the winter. Yeah, yeah, it do be too cold to make friends.
I can't tell you, as a big bitch, as much as I love summer summers when I have to take a knee because wintertime is a big bitch gig cuffing season, big bitch gig.
Oh, so you gotta put in work. You got dudes trying to holland all that.
My ex would act right from labor day to Saint Patrick's day. And once the weather started to change, once a little bit of pollen.
That first pollen sneeze, you know, he gone, Nigga's gone by. It's been good.
Yeah, And all of a sudden he an't answering the phone. But December, December.
Out, Wait, what is this? Explain this to me from East Schwartz quote the minute dude say said New York is hot. Wrong. I knew what she was talking about.
I love sitting outdoors. But also I know that New York is hot.
Wrong.
What do you mean it's building hot?
It's not nature hot.
Oh that's a good point.
Oh somebody else likes nature.
Oh it's the concrete, it's that and cret heat and.
Was an apple apple.
Also we're on camera. I can't disrespect the man like that.
We won the ward.
Yeah, you're you're right. Also, I think also with New York, it's it's an issue of the heat odor, it's the garbage juice.
In the But it's truly, it's truly the fact.
That, yeah, cement heat is different, You're not different.
I remember as a kid because also one of my dreams was to be on David Letterman, and when he canceled his show, I was like, I'm almost there. But anyway, I remember watching David Letterman and him literally frying an egg because I always say it's a hot to fried egg, it's a hot to fried egg on the sidewalk, and I remember him going outside. And that's when I found out that Late Night shows a film during the day, because people ask you about Daily Show and they'll be like, oh man, you tape so late at night.
And I was like what, Oh, yeah, you know that's a background behind them, right.
Window, that's where. So when I saw him actually cook.
A pre chicken on a sidewalk, I was like oh, and I was like I was like sixteen.
I was like, this place is a nightmare.
Because if the ground is hot enough for you to cook food, I ain't never seen nobody cook. I've seen the heat waves come off. I've never seen anybody try to cook food on the ground in Georgia and they and listen. I know they know it's hot wrong because the coper. Years ago, I was supposed to do Ozzie Fest and they canceled it because they said it was too hot and it was gonna be ninety two degrees outside. I called my mother, thank you, thank you. I called my mother because she asked me about it. She said, you're not doing the Ozzie Fast thing that you was gonna do. I said, Mama, they canceled it. She said why. I said, mama's a heat wave and she said how is it gonna be? I said ninety two degrees. My mama laughed for fifteen minutes.
Mighty growl. One night, it was ninety eight in New Orleans at.
Night at night, I've seen or it was in the nineties in Georgia at two am.
Now I'm looking at some of these YouTube comments and I think that there needs to be a second podcast where we just allow people to give Josh a hug. Like it's not even an audible podcast. It's just video of you receiving hugs so that people know you gotta hug.
Listen.
I'm just telling you what the streets are saying.
This is okay, what's this comment?
Karen? Her name does thank you, Karin, thank you for another great episode. They'll say is a great comedian. I don't think joshuaever win a debate against will say josh is a gentleman. I like the tone of his voice and his smile. I vote for Summer Yo.
People have been talking to josh like your voice is a panty dropper dog.
But this is what happened.
But this is what you're abusing the shit out of it.
Hey, hey, hey, ain't nobody abusing nothing?
All right?
I make valid and salient points.
It is not my fault that pretty voice over here, Luther Vandroffs can't keep the fuck up.
This is the I will say in this scenario, to to convey that you're not abused of the ship. I someone you might want to just have the tone even so. That way it's it's more believable. I know I'm not being abused, but now I sound abused. A behalf of the tone you took just now where you were like a It's like it.
Wasn't an aia.
You know you could just be like, no one's abusing, are you me? I'm maybe maybe a little bit. Just try to help, just try to throw it out there.
So wait, so since people, oh god, not even a microphone thought you was lying, y'all, let's go to the next comment because apparently I am abusive. You know what, This is racist, This is racist, this is sexist. I will not be as a black I am. I have won multiple NAACP awards. I have been very black. Okay, I am a cpu a na I never even heard of it, Uncle Rick, I've never even heard of it.
Black people always be going to gatlin Burg. That's what they do down South. We go hang out at white stuff and pretend to be white for three days. If you come back home to racism.
No you Alabama negroes go up to Gatlinburg. We have an actual black city. I grew up in Atlanta. We just do shit in the city.
We have pajama jams in the.
City, Vanilla versus chock.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
It's the next debate.
I don't know a man, I've been a Dollywood. It's all right, that's right around the corner from the shit.
I do know what I'm talking about we only.
Went to Dollywood because I got him for free because I worked the Star Mountain Park.
Vanilla versus Chocolate was the next debate that you two had this season.
Vanilla knows who Vanilla is, and Vanilla's like, listen, I'm flavoring things. Okay, Chocolate is heavy. Okay, it's gonna sit on the tongue for Vanilla. On the other hand, Hey baby, I'm a bean and you put me in shit. Okay, they're fish, I'm doing cakes, I'm doing creams. There's way less processing when you're dealing with Vanilla. Chocolate came in to be heavy. Chocolate came in to step on your feet and be like, hey, what's going on?
What's doing?
Ain't nobody sitting up getting caught with Vanilla all on their face. It's not happening. Vanilla has better pressed because Vanilla's a more refined situation. Vanilla's like, out here in your whole Halloween, that's what Vanilla's doing. Vanilla is a classy bitch, all right. Villa like, hey, yeah, Vanilla can't be in everything.
Okay, you got triple.
Chocolate cakes, you got chocolate on chocolate on chate on chocolate, vanilla comes in boom, that's the flavor. There's vanilla and then there's a little vanilla bean. Chocolate, on the other hand, is letting you know it is stepped on like a motherfucker.
Chocolate, for sure, is trying to be a start. Chocolate is like what macaroni and cheese is turned into?
MM entre No your side?
What if I got lobster?
What if I got what if I got bread crum? You're a side.
Let's be clear about something. Chocolate is holding all this ship together. Okay, I'm tired of the disrespect. Actually I told Roy up top what was gonna happen. I told him how the season went. All right, you got ahead of me. I'm not gonna lie. You got ahead of me a few times across the season, but then I caught up. You know, I feel like we landed pretty evenly.
Doctor Braxy chimed in on this debate.
You MD.
Maybe could be one of them fake.
Doctors, like, hey man, you can get a doctorate in math history.
The way they typed is coming. They clearly have a doctorate in chocolate, he said. Deilsey said, stop the video and answer who I think will pick what I'm going to say, Josh will go for chocolate because reasons.
Not a doctor, Because if they had a doctor, they'd have made a dissertation.
For vanilla because it can be mixed with everything, whereas there are some ad ins that don't blend well with chocolate. So doctor Braxy got it right.
Wow in psychology, uh, doctor of the future.
For Reed, Freed chimed in, this is the first time watching the podcast on YouTube. I normally listen to the podcast. Is it just me who thought Josh was white? I pictured him to be a white guy with glasses for some reason? What the fuck does this have to do with vanilla or chocolate? For Reed, why are you in the comments? Oh?
But why did we pick this comment to talk about?
But maybe for Reid thought there was a vanilla versus chocolate on Josh's race. Maybe that's what he thought it was.
We were just trying to do a night way to do white versus black.
Listen to the podcast. For Reid, mofucker has a picture of Josh. Adn't God, damn, I can't even podcast up. Wow. Watching these two is like watching a pair of siblings arguing over the wildest things. That's literally what created this podcast, You're too yelling in the hallway in Josh's office, which we could hear listen.
I knew we were having a good conversation when everybody and the writers would close their doors.
Yes, because they were trying to make a fucking TV show. No, I was arguing about spaghetti versus.
We would only do it was after rewrite.
It was after rewright.
Oh yeah, was getting it on at like eleven o'clock in the morning.
We was working.
No, No, we really do do our jobs.
Yeah, and then and then so when there's that space between okay, rewrites over, we gotta tape the show that one whatever our period, Yeah, that's.
When we'd be talking.
So they were just closing their doors and be disrespectful because if they wanted, if they wanted to be, you know, not anti black, they would have joined it in a conversation and learn something.
Leave your door open, learn something about your colleagues.
My favorite day was so I used to have an office with Randall, Devin, and I and there was one day where, over the course of an hour and a half, every time Devin left and came back, there was another black person in the.
Office, to the point where there really was too many of us.
There was nowhere to sit.
At a certain point, I'm pretty sure Jabouki was sitting on a bookcase shelf.
He was sitting on those rolling u Yeah. Remember we had like.
The rolling cabinet, put a little.
Seat on top, and then somebody was just and then I think at one point like he was sitting on that. I think Randa was just sitting on his desk. Yeah, it was just he was like everything. It almost felt like.
Imagine everybody was in there, everybody, Ashton.
Everybody, Sierra Hunter, Lewis. I have to say, you do warm my heart with the program that you give us. I suffer a lot of physical pain and when I say dul Say's laugh brings me joy. I just love seeing someone love life like me. Many blessings to you both. That was a nice shout out.
To Sierra Hu to Lewis.
It's crazy that we got this comment and then before that coming at Josh's whole ancestry.
I don't see what you have to do with each other.
That's what I'm saying. That's how wild people be commenting.
Yeah, but that's the thing about YouTube, is that YouTube is that you have one person that's reflecting on the topic and going, I am a doctor of vanilla and chocolate medicine. And then the next comment is just, hey, I'm in pain over here. I'm hurting. I just love that, y'all laughing yes, And then the next comment will just be like negroes Sarah phoebe right. I feel like I'm going to be wrong. But Josh likes pancakes over waffles. He's definitely a vanilla person, which.
Means that this person actually stopped.
Yeah, that means they really did.
They really did stop and guessed.
But that's why I want But that's why I did it, because it's like, I think that it if there's a debate. I think if you pick a side early, and I think it makes people more engaged because then it's like, oh, well I picked chocolate. One, let's see which one of them picks my side, and then two, let's see how they defend it.
Speaking of waffles, let's look back on another conversation the two of you had about diners versus waffle houses. Now, do you already know where I stand on a diner versus a waffle house? I don't rock with no diner. But here's what the two of you had to say.
Let me kick it to you. Why I think the diners are just far superior.
Because bougie go ahead, because I'm boogie.
Okay, Look, all I'm saying is.
When someone tells me that they're about to give me steak, I just wanted to be steak. You know, when I get steak at a diner, I know that that's steak. Why I get steak at a waffle house that's burger. That's just burger.
No waffle house one has steaks too. Why are you ordering a steak at a diner or a waffle house in the first place. You have set yourself up for failure. This is why this is my issue with That's on you. You wanted a high quality steak from somewhere whose menu is thick like an encyclopedia. You mean to tell me that you have a turkey dinner, a lobster florentine or whatever, but also disco fries. What the fuck is happening in here?
I'll tell you right now. What you think is the beast, I think is the beauty. All right, So when I see that chapter book laid out in front of me, I'm like, wow, I.
Really have options in life. I could.
I could try something and get something that I already like as a backup. So am I gonna get, you know, a pasta with a burger? Maybe I'm crazy like that. I can get wild like that because I could get wild like that because I'm a diner right now. I'm not limited to the to the.
You're gonna get a grilled cheese cheese.
You're gonna get a grill cheese and a chicken alfredo, you fucking child.
I'm gonna get a grilled cheese. I'm gonna get spaghetti. I'm gonna go ahead and no grilled cheese. I'll get spaghetti. And you know what, you know what, just the top it all, just because I care. Because this is what options in life do for you. You know, because when you go to a diner, you're your own little Elon Musk, your own little Jeff Bezos. They're going to space.
I'm out here having orange juice, chocolate milk.
With a mon of crystal sandwich.
About a crystal.
Sandwich over for your stomach. Over.
This is how you train your stomach.
I gotta yeah, I gotta say it, swell house all day.
For a lot of reasons, all day, every day. Get your life together.
Rebecca Wilhelm quote, I feel like do Say and Josh need to take a road trip together in order for each other at waffle House and diners love this guy.
That that's wild. That that's yeah, you.
Two on the road would be good. It's like some like I don't like the word, I don't like the Boordain comparison, but I think it's some Stanley Tucci find in Italy. But y'all just like still get it. Okay, Now that was a left turn. I didn't know that we needed to take full Fitch coming.
You need to know, y'all try to.
Stanley Tucci if you're listen in the Daily Show. Offices are located at the corner. Lindsey says quote, I'm a Louisiana girl, Team waffle House. Love you, Josh, but I'm with d waffle House for the wind. I like to watch my food being fixed. The hurricane shut down the whole city down for weeks. Waffle House was still open and were able to eat and charge our gadgets all star breakfast scrambled eggs, bacon grits with cheese, toast, and a pecan waffle.
Let me tell you something.
We've talked about the waffle house index, and the fact that the government uses a waffle house to figure out how dangerous and what's going on in a city when a hurricane, when the Lord himself has spun through your city and made everything so fucking way, How dare you? How dare you?
You know it?
Josh?
This lets me know that you don't.
You don't. You don't support convicted felons. That's what that means, because nobody supports someone. No one keeps recidivism down better than a waffle.
Here's the here's the thing with diners that I think your face that I can't appreciate that that I think Josh is also gravitating towards It's a more communal experience. And this is having worked at a Shawnees work I lovees. Ain't none but a diner. Low key. It's just so, I'm just saying. It was marketed as a family restaurant, but it's straight up Denny's vibes. It's straight up the dinerob yet marketing they market themselves as a diner. It's high end. Yeah, it's a high end diner. Danny's is a donner the seats is uncomfortable, so it makes you think it's not a diner.
But because I've been all these diners here and I can tell you I'm very unimpressed.
The songwriting cat. Why is there so much attacking Josh in this in these comments? When YouTube? I feel like Josh lost when he was describing his diner order and I remembered how many times he's admitted to having food poison it.
People really listen to this podcast.
Yeah, yeah, I mean the it was on my other podcast, so yeah, I think that's a crossover. Yeah, yeah, it's a fan. Yeah, it's it's been quite a few it's been It's been a lot, you know, because I'll get it venturous.
Listen. I saw you fight a piece of fish in Miami.
So I just think diners, it just it all is what it is. You're not going for any real experience.
All I'm saying is that I know diner food can't be fresh because there's too much stuff on the menu.
It's too many options.
It's too many options. Like I said, you cannot have a full turkey, so stuffing, cranberry, sauce, gravy, all the so you have a turkey dinner in fixings.
It's July.
Yeah, you just got dressing in the cut like that, because I know y'all ain't make this dressing fresh today.
I mean, maybe y'all need to open your mind. Okay, maybe y'all need to hope for something bigger.
Listen, all right, and you eat that, you eat some dressing in July, it's gonna open your ass.
Look, your stomach is closed your business on a regular basis, so I can't even.
I eat at waffle house, says hey Jack. When I like to have my food, I like it with a side of danger.
Now, listen, Have I been to a waffle house and seen a fight?
Yes?
Have I also seen a fight in a bar? Yes? Have I also seen a fight in a Bennegan's.
Absolutely yeah. I think house gets a bad rap on them.
They act like they're the only restaurant that has wait, wait, wait, a bad rap.
Though.
Have you ever been to a sports lounge? I've been burger king fight, burger King fight. Finny results as waffle house.
So it goes to me.
It goes from searching the internet as someone who loves fights.
I love fights.
Watch the fights every weekend, Watch the fights in the middle of the week, and I'll watch the waffle House fights, burg King fights. It goes uh McDonald's because they have the most locations. Burger King because they have some of the angers employees, and also the customers at Burger King really are a little bit trained. Like like when when the fight kicks off at Burger King, there's leg kicks thrown, there's like a tempts at chokes and stuff.
Waffle House like a judge, let's go to the car waffle House.
Waffle House feels like it has more of a of a street fighter vibe. Yeah, because you'll see little Haduken's thrown. You'll you'll see like jumps, You'll see moves that don't make any sense.
The waitress who caught the chair.
That the waitress, let me tell you something. Yeah, that girl had been through some ship. Yeah.
The way that girl, the way that white girl caught that chair, I.
Was like, is she at the house.
Somebody flung the chair the white house waitress from at least ten feet away and she caught it by the leg, caught.
It by the leg mid air, and then threw it back.
The way throws.
Let me tell you something.
Somebody hired that girl, her skills are wasted.
Here's when I need some explaining because I didn't listen to this episode. Uh ne Oren wrote, Josh, you nasty for that one. I'm not dipping my spanacopa, spana copea and anything except them to zeke.
So spanic copela is a Greek dish, so basically, think of it's a it's a pastry, so think of like, uh, it's layered, so it's like like filo dough, yeah, so feli dough and then it's uh spinach and cream cheese. No spinach and feta cheese, and it's in layered and then it's all encased and like a uh it's all it's like a triangle shape sometimes or it is more like a pie. Yeah, so it's like put you in the mind on like a lasagna.
Pie is like a lasagna. The little triangles are like little impanadas.
Yeah, Okay, it's like a trianglepinada with like spinach and feta cheese inside and this layered up. Okay, there's a thousand things on your menu, so it's like, oh, there's spana, copeta and chili.
What the hell is going on in here?
So Jack of All Trade but yeah, I cannot wait. I cannot wait.
So people hear you say dip the span of copaa in the chili.
You are a wild man. I love you, but that was a phrase. That was a wild phrase, dip the span of copa and the chili. Oh, the Lord can't bless you living like that.
I know people are gonna lose their mind.
The only thing you're supposed to dip in chili is is grilled cheese or crackers. Yeah, that's pretty much it.
You can dip grilled cheese into the chili. Yes, I'm just never done it.
I don't know.
I was always crackers for me.
Yeah, I mean either or. But that's I mean, dipp the grilled cheese and the tomato soup. I know people do.
Yeah, yeah, I've done that bespanac. Yeah. Also oyster crackers. Are they on oysters or is it because they're.
I think they're built like oyster. Yeah, it's like a.
It's like puffed out in the middle.
Here's a here's a Here's one thing I will say in defense of a diner though, like I do appreciate the fact that you can have more multiple options if you don't know what you want. So like when you're drunk. We went one night myself. I can say this publicly. We've talked about it in the past, myself and a bunch of the Impractical Jokers. This is a pre daily show and for whatever reason, I was always end up at a comedy festival and would hang with them.
I love Sal.
So it's me Sal Jogatto and Murph Q is the responsible one of the four because he's a firefighter.
A squareheaded one with the going Yeah.
He's very much well, let's do what's right. We were drunk at a Denny's in Phoenix, and when I tell you, we ordered everything. We had breakfast, we had a steak, we had a salad, we had a Moon's over Miami, Wounds over my Hammi, at at least fifteen different things, and we just sampled from all of them. And you can't do that at a waffle house. You can't. Like, waffle house is very much a lockey in on one thing type of thing. So when you're drunk, your palette expands and you kind of want chocolate cake, but you kind of want some Spana copad, but you kind of want some chili.
You kind of want some adventure.
Yeah, you go fuck it. What would it taste like if I dip this shit to chili.
Off House has chili, but White House.
Don't have spanic copa. Wafe House ain't got turkey and dressing. What do you want? Chocolate cake and turkey and dressing?
You want to throw up because you're drunk, Maybe fucking irresponsible.
Maybe you just like options.
Maybe you just like gas your bypass because you're going to bypass all your gastric all brow the fuck up.
Last point I'll say about it, since everybody jumping on me like I'm crazy for liking diners a little bit more than I like waffle house, is that diners are the right type of concession for everybody that you're hanging out with, because then when you show up, somebody can get the breakfast food they want, somebody can get the spaghetti that they want.
You like the all lives matter of restaurants.
Why would you do that?
You know? What's interesting about about you, too, is that you will force people to think about things they've never thought about at a depth that they've never had to analyze it, and then actually have an opinion. Chicken soup versus tomato soup, of which I am team chicken soup because there are enough varieties of chicken. There's ways to augment and freestyle chicken soup. You can add noodles, you can add extra meat, you can change the viscosity tomato state tomato. Let's just see what you do have to say.
If if we're really bringing chicken noodle soup up against tomato soup.
That counts everything.
I manas wait wait wait.
Wait wait wait, you're saying any liquidato.
Is tomato soup.
All right, like sasa, you're counting salsa.
As tomato soup.
Let's do it.
Okay, So any tomato based anything.
Tomato soup, ketchup, tomato soup, cocktail sauce, tomato soupt, tomato soup, the spot choat tomato soup. Pray go ragu tomato soup, marinaira sauce is tomato soup, tomato soup. So you're saying tomato paste is tomato soup. So if someone opens a can of ragou, yeah, pasta.
Sauce, okay, throws it in a bowl, yeah, heats it up.
HM tomato soup, tomato soup, soap.
I am saying because I feel like I feel like in the last episode with the diners versus the waffle house what ended up happening because I gotta eat the live by the way, Yeah, which is why now, hey, everything is tomato soup. We're going all tomato soup. Okay, I will not lose again.
And you flew too close to the sun icorous your wings melts it, you understand them. Feathers fell from the sky like a goose that got hit by a plane.
I think that's that's the thing that But that's a fair point that Josh brings up tomato soup and a base in the viscosity or whatever. Right, but once you add onions and carrot.
Have you tried to make tomato souper home. I've tried to make it.
You can't get it smooth.
I don't know what they doing over at Campbell's, but it's always blending.
But no, I got an emerging blender. I have disposable income.
I was like, I'm gonna figure this out, and I think you have to strain it. But then you lose so much. I was like, oh, there was.
The vegetable there.
Yeah, yeah, but you can throw something back in.
But that's interesting though, that everything that you use to augment chicken chicken soup. If you put that in tomato soup, now it's a sauce that must be served with something else.
Oh so put onions and chicken soup. It tastes better. If you put onions in tomato soup. It's sauce.
I'm saying that chicken noodle soup chicken soup has an advantage because no matter what you put in it, it's still seen societally. It's still perceived as soup. If you augment tomato soup with anything else, it's seen as a sauce that must be served on top of oil.
I think it's just a texture, because if you got a pasta that had a sauce is loose as tomato soup, you'd be like, oh, I've been conned, and I'm obviously at a diner.
Or you're in a public school, okay.
Or you're in a public school okay.
So I feel like was actually happening is that Roy is the first person to truly see what I was saying. When I was saying it, all right, everyone was acting like I was crazy.
No all right, no, no no, But Roy didn't say catch up was tomato soup. He just said if you add real like vegetables, because like there's a rustic there's more rustic types of tomato soup now where if you keep messing with it, it's gonna be marin aero sauce.
I was right, it's a little thicker and lumpier, but it's still just tomatoes. I was here.
I also heard what Roy said. What Roy said, because that's the thing. If you take chicken soup, if you took chicken soup and putting noodles in it, it is chicken noodle soup. It stays soup. If you put noodles in tomato soup, it's pasta. Which somehow the pasta takes precedent.
Yeah, now exactly, the soup is diminished because.
Because when I said.
That, that's why you say tomato soup is better, because it can't be. Could you put one thing in it and it becomes something else?
No, No, I'm not even talking about soup another ingredients.
Pre but you're saying it loses the title of soup when it becomes something else. You're saying that no matter what it is, it's always gonna be soup. So he's not agreeing with you at all.
No, I am, I'm agreeing. I'm agreeing with him on the grounds there.
So then but if we're growing up, so if everything is tomato.
Soup ketchup, of course he's a lunatic. But pray go, pray go. But that rustic tomato soup you talking about.
I'm not no.
Listen, this is to say.
I didn't say that Marin Anasaurce was at tomato soup. I'm saying that what if Tasha b said Josh was a self sabotage and tyrant on this one?
That is wild because you threw in ketchup and all the other No, no, no, you threw in ketchup and I couldn't back down.
All right, that's what happened. Yet, don't put words in my mouth.
Wait, I still can't believe. So Christopher Smith got on our Gore's Internet instaid. I still can't believe Josh said this. My entire church prayed for you. Your name is still on a weekly prayer list. I even thought about calling intercessors. I'm gonna tell you what's for to happen right now. I am taking a.
Picture that is a deep cut.
Babe. If you don't you have to not only do you have to go to church, you have to go to southern church, because I don't know if Yankees have intercessory prayer. Somebody is waking up on at six am to pray for you.
Josh and I appreciate it, all right, but we we've already established what happened. I wasn't running around the streets of New York saying that ketchup is tomato.
Soup like the British were covering.
My back was against the wall.
Your back would have plenty of space.
And I and I had to fight back, and so we ended up with a little bit of like.
No, no, no, no no.
I was testing how far you would go if you said anything tomato base. Yeah, because I said ketchup. You could have said no. You could have said a ketchup.
But then you said to trip him up. No no, no, no no no no.
You could said ketch up. Now you can say ketchup. Ketchup is too far, and I'd have gone, you're right, and thank you for coming back.
You coming back?
Okay, You wiley coyote jumped off a clip.
And that's why politics is so divided, because you can't be a moderate you can't be a ketchup moderate you have to be fully entrenched in camp ketchup, even to the point of sounding ridiculous.
What about purple ketchup? Is that so tomato soup?
That's just food coloring. So it's the same as before purple ketchup?
Yeah, why don't they Why do they don't? Don't they make ketchup from green tomatoes?
I don't think it has the right sugar content.
Oh yeah, that's fair, Yeah, a little bit of it.
They're very sour.
Oh here's our d. I like this one from r D. Making the claim that all liquids with tomato are tomato soup is a very special level of insanity. Thank you, r D.
A lot of quotes in here.
Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that it can't be all liquids, But I understand what Josh's saying. Don't say no, no, no.
What I want to know is, were you saying these things to try to win? Are were you saying these things because you actually believe them.
I'm saying these things to make a point that helps tomato soup keep up with chicken soup, Because what exactly what Roy is saying was exactly My point in the debate.
Chicken soup is you you said it yourself.
I remember you made a very great point that every culture over time has had chicken soup, right, But what I'm saying is that those same cultures had tomato soup, but they didn't know it because we.
Not only culture had tomatoes.
Now everybody had chickens, not not every culture had tomatoes, but tomato soup was coming through with a lot more than just that one blended Campbell's.
Can tomato as a whole serving the culinary palette across different cultures, is what you're saying.
Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying that a lot of cultures.
Did didn't have tomatoes, I understand, but with tomatoes, as soon as they did, though, they would they make a little bit of sauce. What'd they make a little bit of a spaghetti? What did they make tomato soup?
I'm saying.
I'm saying there are more cultures that have chicken soup than have tomato soup.
And I can't I can't fight you on that, but I'm just trying to show you it's not one versus ten.
You know, what is this truth?
The Avalon read this one d I primarily listen to these episodes, but I ran to YouTube to watch Jewels Saye's face as josh is making the last ditch argument.
And I am not disappointed. Oh Joshua, Joshua, you have to defend it all the way to the end. You have to defend the lie no matter what. Oh, thank you, see, thank you.
I was looking at these videos, going, my skin looks amazing. Abba sis fie on my probably never say that, so I'll say it's extra points because their skin is on the glow up. Yes, that what I was looking at it going, my skin look good, But I didn't want to say nothing. Wow.
But I am so glad. See, I know.
I've been looking at my skinny past like one, you know, and you know why my skin looked like that because it was warm out summertime. I'm a summertime beach. You understand, summertime beach. We're not as well to even be in this climate.
Finally, somebody standing up for josh Spwaff.
Writes, that's the person that.
Swaff. Did you write this comment?
No, that wasn't me. Why would it.
This is the first time anybody's been accused of right. One of the comments and it's me. It's for some back it up. What I'm saying, Wait, Joshua is kind of right. Technically all that stuff is tomato soup.
Serial killer.
Okay, first of all, the dad, take it back, take it back.
I'll never take it back.
I hate it that I have a piece of apple ready.
For you, my dad. When I sneeze, I don't.
I don't now fuck it man, I'm with you, bro, I hate DM Sorry, that's your business. That's a guy you pray to. Ketchup is tomato soup?
How out here?
It's just viscosity, Yeah, because it's literally just a change in the level of.
Water and vinegar and sugar.
So then isn't everything ketchup? Then?
No, you have it with a spoon soup. You can eat ketchup with That depends on how you look at it.
You can eat.
Okay, how is everything?
If you want to reverse things, then that that's that's up to you. I'm just saying.
What I'm saying is how is everything?
Not Marin ear Well, the episode wasn't chicken soup versus ketchup. It was chicken soup versus tomato soup. My tomato soup points.
Then I can just say chicken soup is is Ramen. It's Ramen with less noodles.
But you don't have to put noodles.
Everything is everything is Ramen. You't gota put noodles in Ramen to make it ramen. It's just broth and some ship.
No Ramen is the noodles. If you don't put Ramen in noodles.
I don't have that. Who says who? Who set these rules?
It's ramen. That's like saying you can have spaghetti without having noodles.
You can.
That's just a ball of mari and aarosauce. You didn't have spaghetti, you just had poverty.
I see why you do this every episode. This ship is fun bro for no reason.
I'm not right up.
You can't have ramen soup without the noodles. You can't have spaghetti without noodles. Can you have lasagna if there's no noodles.
It's like you can't, Like you can't win with her. She's always ready.
Yeah, I have a brother, Bro. The other thing about this is but y'all don't But y'all don't remember is Josh has no siblings.
Oh, you're coming in at a disadvantage. Truly. Yeah.
Yeah, I still fought my way through all season out here by myself, fighting for my life.
Don't you tell me all my life I had to fight.
This Matil day man, tell thee of our gone and his evil must be evil desire to win at any costs. Josh is going too far, all caps. That's the only sensible reaction anyone could have to his silly self in this debate. Chicken soup wins.
Not his silly self. Yeah, listen, Josh, I applaud you for being willing to take up this mantle because you knew it was wild when you said it.
Well, look, we we could. We could go on to another episode. Could we could go on to a whole other episode. Probably should where I'm where I'm at least making I've never.
Been called evil, not to my face, well not on the internet.
Well, nonetheless, this has been a joy for you all to have me here and listen to you to go back and forth.
Yeah, we did it.
Listen, Josh, you know how to wrap us up.
Well, that wraps up our season finale of Hold Up Dose.
And I can't thank you enough for two in each week sharing your love for the show and even helping us decide which topics to debate and get way way too mad about.
We're about to take a little break, resting, recuperating. That's a lie. We're grinding all right. You already know we won't stop. We can't stop.
Feel free to bringe all hold Up episodes on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever.
You get your podcast.
While you're in there, make sure to check out our other shows in the TDS podcast universe, like The Daily Show, Ears Edition, Beyond the Scenes and Jordan Klepper Fingers The Conspiracy. We hope you enjoy them all and we'll see you all soon.
Bye.
