Many women grow up believing it’s their job to keep everyone else happy — to be the good girl, the peacekeeper, the one who doesn’t rock the boat. But what if that belief is the very thing keeping you exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from yourself?

In this episode of Hey Soul Sista, host, Mel Histon, is joined by psychologist Kaz Amos for a deep, compassionate conversation about people pleasing — where it comes from, why it’s so hard to stop, and how it quietly shapes our confidence, self-worth, and relationships.

Together, we explore how people pleasing isn’t a personality flaw, but often a learned survival response — rooted in attachment, trauma, conditioning, and hypervigilance. We talk about the good girl conditioning so many women carry into adulthood, why saying no can feel unbearable, and what it really means to stop taking responsibility for other people’s emotions.

This is a powerful conversation for anyone who:


Feels responsible for other people’s moods or reactions


Struggles with guilt when saying no


Notices resentment building after always putting others first


Is ready to let go of the good girl role — especially in midlife


Wants to live more authentically, with stronger boundaries and self-trust

In this episode, we cover:


What people pleasing really is (and what it’s not)


The psychology behind people pleasing and fawning


How trauma and hypervigilance shape our behaviour


Why people pleasing feels “safe” — but keeps us stuck


The hidden impact on confidence, self-worth, and identity


Midlife as an invitation to stop pleasing and start choosing yourself


Practical ways to recognise people pleasing patterns and gently shift them


What it means to live authentically — without guilt or shame

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “I’m not responsible for your happiness” — but still feeling like you are — this episode is for you.

Connect with KAZ AMOS: 
Instagram: /kaz.amos
kazamos.com.au 
Book through the Hummingbird Centre for psychology sessions, workshops, and speaking engagements. 

Connect with MEL HISTON:
Subscribe to make sure you hear the next instalment of Hey Soul Sista!
Instagram @melissahiston
Instagram @heysoulsistapodcast
Watch the podcast video on YouTube: @heysoulsista
Website: heysoulsista.com

Many women grow up believing it&rsquo;s their job to keep everyone else happy &mdash; to be the good girl, the peacekeeper, the one who doesn&rsquo;t rock the boat. But what if that belief is the very thing keeping you exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from yourself?
In this episode of Hey Soul Sista, host, Mel Histon, is joined by psychologist Kaz Amos for a deep, compassionate conversation about people pleasing &mdash; where it comes from, why it&rsquo;s so hard to stop, and how it quietly shapes our confidence, self-worth, and relationships.
Together, we explore how people pleasing isn&rsquo;t a personality flaw, but often a learned survival response &mdash; rooted in attachment, trauma, conditioning, and hypervigilance. We talk about the good girl conditioning so many women carry into adulthood, why saying no can feel unbearable, and what it really means to stop taking responsibility for other people&rsquo;s emotions.
This is a powerful conversation for anyone who:
<ul data-start="1291" data-end="1605">
<li data-start="1291" data-end="1350">
Feels responsible for other people&rsquo;s moods or reactions
</li>
<li data-start="1351" data-end="1390">
Struggles with guilt when saying no
</li>
<li data-start="1391" data-end="1456">
Notices resentment building after always putting others first
</li>
<li data-start="1457" data-end="1527">
Is ready to let go of the good girl role &mdash; especially in midlife
</li>
<li data-start="1528" data-end="1605">
Wants to live more authentically, with stronger boundaries and self-trust
</li>
</ul>
In this episode, we cover:
<ul data-start="1640" data-end="2124">
<li data-start="1640" data-end="1692">
What people pleasing really is (and what it&rsquo;s not)
</li>
<li data-start="1693" data-end="1744">
The psychology behind people pleasing and fawning
</li>
<li data-start="1745" data-end="1796">
How trauma and hypervigilance shape our behaviour
</li>
<li data-start="1797" data-end="1852">
Why people pleasing feels &ldquo;safe&rdquo; &mdash; but keeps us stuck
</li>
<li data-start="1853" data-end="1912">
The hidden impact on confidence, self-worth, and identity
</li>
<li data-start="1913" data-end="1984">
Midlife as an invitation to stop pleasing and start choosing yourself
</li>
<li data-start="1985" data-end="2061">
Practical ways to recognise people pleasing patterns and gently shift them
</li>
<li data-start="2062" data-end="2124">
What it means to live authentically &mdash; without guilt or shame
</li>
</ul>
If you&rsquo;ve ever found yourself thinking &ldquo;I&rsquo;m not responsible for your happiness&rdquo; &mdash; but still feeling like you are &mdash; this episode is for you.
Connect with KAZ AMOS:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li data-start="2269" data-end="2397">Instagram: /kaz.amos</li>
<li data-start="2269" data-end="2397">kazamos.com.au&nbsp;</li>
<li data-start="2269" data-end="2397">Book through the Hummingbird Centre for psychology sessions, workshops, and speaking engagements.&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
Connect with MEL HISTON:
<ul>
<li data-start="2269" data-end="2397">Subscribe to make sure you hear the next instalment of Hey Soul Sista!</li>
<li data-start="2269" data-end="2397">Instagram @melissahiston</li>
<li data-start="2269" data-end="2397">Instagram @heysoulsistapodcast</li>
<li data-start="2269" data-end="2397">Watch the podcast video on YouTube: @heysoulsista</li>
<li data-start="2269" data-end="2397">Website: heysoulsista.com</li>
</ul>

Welcome to Hey Soul Sista—the podcast for women who are ready to live with more joy, purpose, and SOUL! If you’re feeling the pull to re-discover yourself, embrace new possibilities, and create a life that truly lights you up, you’re in the right place.

Each episode, I sit down with incredible women who are sharing their soulful wisdoms and finding deeper meaning in this life. We dive into real stories, honest conversations, and practical wisdom to help you feel inspired, seen, and ready to say YES to yourself.

I’ll also bring on experts in health, wellness, mindset, and spirituality to share their best tips on how to nurture your body, mind, and soul—because thriving in midlife is about feeling good inside and out. Because midlife isn’t a crisis—it’s an awakening. 

And Hey Soul Sista is here to remind you that the best is yet to come. So hit that follow button, pour yourself a coffee (or a wine—no judgment here), and let’s navigate this journey together with laughter, courage, and a whole lot of soul.

This is Hey Soul Sista, and you are exactly where you need to be.

With love and soul, Mel Histon - your host xx

Welcome to Hey Soul Sista&mdash;the podcast for women who are ready to live with more joy, purpose, and SOUL!&nbsp;If you&rsquo;re feeling the pull to re-discover yourself, embrace new possibilities, and create a life that truly lights you up, you&rsquo;re in the right place.
Each episode, I sit down with incredible women who are sharing their soulful wisdoms and finding deeper meaning in this life. We dive into real stories, honest conversations, and practical wisdom to help you feel inspired, seen, and ready to say YES to yourself.
I&rsquo;ll also bring on experts in health, wellness, mindset, and spirituality to share their best tips on how to nurture your body, mind, and soul&mdash;because thriving in midlife is about feeling good inside and out. Because midlife isn&rsquo;t a crisis&mdash;it&rsquo;s an awakening.&nbsp;
And Hey Soul Sista is here to remind you that the best is yet to come. So hit that follow button, pour yourself a coffee (or a wine&mdash;no judgment here), and let&rsquo;s navigate this journey together with laughter, courage, and a whole lot of soul.
This is Hey Soul Sista, and you are exactly where you need to be.
With love and soul, Mel Histon - your host xx

Hey Soul Sista is the podcast for women who are ready to live with more joy, purpose, and SOUL! If you’re feeling the pull to re-discover yourself, embrace new possibilities, and create a life that truly lights you up, you’re in the right place.

Hey Soul Sista by Melissa Histon

 

Welcome to Hey Soul Sista—the podcast for women who are ready to live with more joy, purpose, and SOUL! If you’re feeling the pull to re-discover yourself, embrace new possibilities, and create a life that truly lights you up, you’re in the right place.

Each episode, I sit down with incredible women who are sharing their soulful wisdoms and finding deeper meaning in this life. We dive into real stories, honest conversations, and practical wisdom to help you feel inspired, seen, and ready to say YES to yourself.

I’ll also bring on experts in health, wellness, mindset, and spirituality to share their best tips on how to nurture your body, mind, and soul—because thriving in midlife is about feeling good inside and out.

Because midlife isn’t a crisis—it’s an awakening. And Hey Soul Sista is here to remind you that the best is yet to come.

So hit that follow button, pour yourself a coffee (or a wine—no judgment here), and let’s navigate this journey together with laughter, courage, and a whole lot of soul.

This is Hey Soul Sista, and you are exactly where you need to be.

With love and soul,

Mel Histon - your host xx

&nbsp;
Welcome to Hey Soul Sista&mdash;the podcast for women who are ready to live with more joy, purpose, and SOUL!&nbsp;If you&rsquo;re feeling the pull to re-discover yourself, embrace new possibilities, and create a life that truly lights you up, you&rsquo;re in the right place.
Each episode, I sit down with incredible women who are sharing their soulful wisdoms and finding deeper meaning in this life. We dive into real stories, honest conversations, and practical wisdom to help you feel inspired, seen, and ready to say YES to yourself.
I&rsquo;ll also bring on experts in health, wellness, mindset, and spirituality to share their best tips on how to nurture your body, mind, and soul&mdash;because thriving in midlife is about feeling good inside and out.
Because midlife isn&rsquo;t a crisis&mdash;it&rsquo;s an awakening. And Hey Soul Sista is here to remind you that the best is yet to come.
So hit that follow button, pour yourself a coffee (or a wine&mdash;no judgment here), and let&rsquo;s navigate this journey together with laughter, courage, and a whole lot of soul.
This is Hey Soul Sista, and you are exactly where you need to be.
With love and soul,
Mel Histon - your host xx

Hey Soul Sista 

In this episode of Hey Soul Sista, Mel Histon is joined by psychologist Kaz Amos for a powerful conversation about people pleasing — where it comes from, why it feels so hard to stop, and how it impacts our confidence, self-worth, and relationships.