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Episode 9: The Breakthrough

Published Jul 1, 2021, 4:01 AM

Ruben, Marco, and Janelle are back in sync, and their latest interview has all their heads spinning. Alone at home afterwards, Ruben meditates on all that he’s learned from the artists he’s met, and comes to some epiphanies about why he’s been acting so wild.


Featuring Def Jam artist Bobby Sessions & his new song “Repeat” [Stream|Download]


Executive Producer: Asante Blackk

Producer: Daniella Perkins

Starring: Asante Blackk and Daniella Perkins

Co-Starring: Bobby Cius, Rayme Cornell, Christopher V. Edwards and Taylor Bettinson

Written by: Taylor Bettinson and Nakia Hill

Directed By: Christopher V. Edwards

 

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This is the new grounded routine. I get up, I take my new meds. My therapist is finding me off the climb of pin and adderall and onto a mood stabilizer Deprica, and the idea is to have me being less chemically tugged back and forth, get me leveled out. But I'm always anxious during medication changes. They can have unexpected side effects on my mood. Mostly I like this guy, Dr Ferryman, but in our first session he mentioned by polar disorder is a possible new diagnosis to explain my impulsive behavior. I don't want to admit it, but that really freaks me out. Coping with anxiety has been one thing, but but bipolar is like bipolar is like a real mental illness. Luckily, he isn't pushing anything. In our later sessions, We're mostly talking and kneasing up on my meds, and my parents seemed happy that things are working out with him, so I'm able to turn my attention back to what I want to do most here comes the break. This week We've lined up our biggest artists yet, Bobby Sessions. He's an artist bridge and activism and music. I know it'll be a dope conversation. The interview is after school in the book of t Audio Lab Studio and Marcos joining Janelle are not there for the first time. After that, we're recording the finale and that's a wrap on season one. I've got bad news. Rob, the artist we had booked, had to cancel on episode ten. He was in an altercation with the police and got detained. We don't have an artist book for a season finale. What happened was he pulled over by the clop flaw driving. Was he at a protest? His manager didn't say. When I saw he was at the same burger police as the man who was unfortunately shot and killed last week. You may have got caught up in all of that because the police went on a spree arresting witnesses who recorded the shooting on their cellphones. He was right behind the guy who was killed by the police. I mean, it could be anything, Damn, that's crazy. That's why I'm thankful for this pot. This is about more than music. It gives us in the artists of voice to talk about real ship that matters. I know, right, I mean, there's a reckoning happening right now in America. Monkster generation. We need justice for Brianna Taylor, Tony McDade, Atiana Jefferson, a Maud Aubrey like yesterday, all those black lives brutally taken, prematurely named and unnamed. Oh, I mean, and don't even get me started grouping. I mean, you know I'm going to a BLM rally and Brooklyn next week. You should join me. I start to get anxious when Jane s to just going through a protest. It hasn't really been my scene, to be honest, I meant what I said about the podcast being a vehicle to talk about issues, and that's where I want to focus my energy. Crowds, chants, and cops really are my thing. I'll just tell her that I'm going to stay in the lab to focus on our pop one thing at a time. I've got to get out of my ground. And first, and you said we're out of final artist interview, we for sure you need to solve that before making any other plans for next week. I mean, okay, fair enough, you got any fresh ideas? What if we feature a true indie artist, someone on the East Coast who is a poet and mc a truth secret Ruben I can see the stars in your eyes. My g who do you ever mind? You gotta lead already, you already know. So when I was at the villa, hung out with the Rabbit from Boston, we follow each other on the ground. Now I could reach out to her. All right, we're on a tight deadline. It's worth a shot. Let's hit put up. Maybe focusing so much on the pod, which is technically a school project, will convince your parents that you're stepping up your game. You're serious about your academics, and you're done wilding out in l A. And if you ask me, maybe a little you join me at the protest. She flashes me a daring smile. This girl doesn't miss a beat. I feel an echo of the crush I had on them when we first met, but I'm past it now. Janelle has been my rock during all this drama cost even when she's been pissed in me too. She's a good friend. That's actually not a bad idea, you know, if I can get out of my grounding, I promised to join you. That's what I'm talking of about. The rest of the day is a blur. The whole time my mind is on the Bobby Sessions interview coming up after school. I'm looking forward to Marco seeing the new audio lab set up too. After a month on the outs, now that he's back in the phone market, can see just how much Janelle and I have leveled up our production. That's Marque, my last classic study hall, where I've been listening to the Bobby's music and prepping my interview questions. With the ring of the bell, I crammed my phone in notebooks in my bag and book it across the campus to meet Janelle at the lab. As I get close, I see Janelle is already in there waiting for me, and I also catch eyes on Marco. We're walking down the hole. He got here pretty damn past. But then again, our old public school gets out a little earlier than Book of t so he had a head start. Marco this way. He salutes from across the hall and hustle to catch up with me. We entered the lab together and Janelle waves us a bright hello. Damn, you really do have a sweet spot up here. Tech school has its benefits, Hey, Marco, welcome to here comes the break two point. Oh, I told you this was an upgrade your boogie school has its perks. After all. When he looks at me, I can see the Marco was still a bit uptight. He still hurt, but he's trying. This dude doesn't wear selling or salty that well. My brain is full of racing thoughts, but I know the only way to heal our relationship the rest of the way. It's time before I can say anything too soft and screw up di vide. Janelle chimes in, so we have a few minutes before Bobby calls in. I figured we could just review some products stuff Marco, I told her been earlier, but you should know we're out our final artists for next week. We have to feel that slot pretty quick. What that sucks, don't worry. I gotta leave Boston based rapping or poet named up. Well, we shouldn't rely on just one lead. I'll review what other artist context we've got that we haven't used, and maybe put out feel us for a couple more good idea. Where did this lead come from? Anyway? I met her at the villa. We mutual follows one mention of the villa, and for once, Marco doesn't have a smart comeback. Yep, he's still heard it in the awkward silence that follows. It's Janelle who eases the tension between us again. I also finished betting the ads sponsors who have been courting us, sending us merchant all that. Marco, we didn't want to move forward with anything until we're all back together, so I've just been researching them until you got back. So who are we going with revenue streams? Baby? Let's get this paper. Actually, I think we dodged a bullet waiting. None of the sponsors who reached out to us are particularly environmentally or socially conscious. I just think whatever brands we agree to work with, we really need to make sure they reflect our values. Maybe we con solicit ads from places that have holistic missions that they true we uphold. I have faith will find the right company to sponsor. Here comes the break. Until then, I think we should go at free and the awkward silence comes right back. I can tell Marco is not feeling the idea of turning down money now that we're big enough to monetize off of our brand. To be honest, I don't really disagree with him. Janelle really caught us soft guard with this one. Girl, Are you crazy? We're at the level where we have sponsors hitting us up. We can make some bread off this, so we're not summer camp counselors or back in groceries this summer. I mean, I'm not above it, but if we can make money off our social media presence, that's that's huge. I'm with Marco on this one, Jay, I mean, I appreciate you vetting on the candidates like you did, but maybe he and I should take a look at the list too, and we could pick a few you might be willing to consider. I can see Janelle get a little frustrated behind their eyes. It occurs to me that this is the first time Marco and I really pushed back against their input. I mean, if you guys want to take on the extra work, feel free to review the list yourselves. I'm just saying we're about to sit down for an interview with an artivists, activists slash artists. We've asked artists about their social consciousness and global consciousness just as much as we've asked about the music. We don't want to abandon those values and that perspective. I hear you, I hear you, But you know what else I hear wu Tang Cream cash rules everything around. He get the money, didid bill? Yah? Yeah, man, that's my dude. Woo tang Woo tang jy. I'm just trying to lighten the move a bit now. I know you're into vibrating higher and singing bowls, but making a little cash whon't hurt if we want to scale up more. The next step is getting an operating budget, and that means AD dollars. This is the big break we've been waiting for. Fidgets in the seat. We're all dancing around the disagreement and being professional about it, but it feels a little strange to find Marco on myself united against it. We're over here singing it Wu Tang duet. We've experienced a lot of different dynamics as a team in the short, wild history of this project, but somehow not this one. I understand that, And to be fair, I know this pod started out between the two of you. I'm not trying to come between your romance or the vision of the pod. However, I don't want us to lose sight of our principles. In Layman's terms, more money, more problems. Fair enough, Marco and I will look at the list this week and we'll return to this convote in a few days. You good with that? It works for me, we'll see. Just let me know. It feels great for me and Marco to be working together as a team again. Janelle may not be feeling us right now, but we gotta keep our eyes on the prize. All right, You ready to lock down this interview, Let's get to work. Bobby Sessions is calling in and Janelle turns on the mic. In my research, I've noticed activism seems to be the fabric of who you are. Have Have you been able to remain authentic and truth to who you are by being signed to a major record label. I feel like when you are blessed with the opportunity to be signed to a company death Jam or something of that level, there's a lot of responsibility that comes with that platform. And it's not for every artist. But if I feel like if artists has the ability to report what's going on and put it in a way where it can be entertaining with the music, then by all means they should use their gifts. Why would you processing all of the the reckon with systemic racism going on right now? That's a difficult thing. To process because even post the murder George Floyd, that's been a number of other people that have been executed, has been murdered prior to George Floyd that are getting more like now, and it's almost difficult to keep up with all the names because there's so many. So it's difficult to process. But I try to stay informed and then also balanced that out by just taking breaks from my own sanity. Yeah, I feel that. I feel that. I also read that unfortunately, your cousin, James Harper was shotting killed by Dallas cops, said free years ago. So yeah, it's disheartening. You become noumb twit when you have a family member that experiences that. And in my case, I found out a combination from Twitter and my mother when my cousin passed. I was working at Walmart at the time, and during my break, I was on Twitter and I saw that he was calling it a riot. But there's a bunch of people that were upset and uh in South Dallas and saying that someone had been shot by the cops. But you did you hear this every day? So it wasn't You're almost desensitized. And I remember hearing about that Damn, that's crazy. This happened in Dallas. Then my break was finished, and then I get a text from my mom, which at that time she wasn't really texting. So when she was like, y'all need you to call me, I knew something was wrong immediately because that just wasn't the way that she chose to communicate during that time. So I stepped into a bathroom and I called her, and then she told me that my cousin got killed. Like I started connecting back from what I was seeing on Twitter some hours before, and then like I connected the dots, like uh, but there was a life changing event because you see these things all the time, and even if you're not consciously thinking about it, somewhere in your mind you maybe thinking that won't happen to you or someone by around you. And then that was that wake up called like oh wow, this isn't something on Twitter anymore, something on TV. This is like this hit our front door. So it's crazy seeing other families now have to deal with a similar thing. It's a sad thing, but I am encouraged by all the I haven't seen as much unity from us as a people, and even wait for some of the non black people that are still that are just supporting and coming together to put an into this. I haven't seen as much unity. I haven't seen as much collective pushback in my lifetime, so that part has me excited for the future. Most respect to you man, Thank you for discussing that you didn't have to do so I appreciate it. Sort of First, I felt a lot of beautiful things are developed in dirty places and dark places. So, for example, as bad as things are on an economic level, on a literally black people getting killed for no reason level, there is a positive side to it. And as far as the future going forward, I believe that's gonna be so much more accountability across the board, as far as how we're police, how money is being distributed into our communities. M hm, okay, okay. Something back to music a little bit. Uh, Have you met or collaborated with an artist that you're just like, I can't believe me. I'm in the room with this person. If you have, how was that experience, I would saying no, not at least not yet, mainly because not even on a cocky ship. It's just I expect to be in those rooms. I can't believe it. When I'm in there, I believe it, you know what I mean, Like, I'm excited every time. Still, like, man, this is crazy. The unbelievable part that for me is more man, there's a lot of attraction stuff was really working everything. That's the part that gets me feeling a way. I believe I'm dope, so I expect to be in wrongs with dope people. So so you're inspired by the seecret did not have attraction and let this manifest station in. Like to you, I'm real big on writing yourself down, like you mentioned, I think for the main purpose of not just writing something down. But so for example, when I write down the goal, I put it on a big piece of construction paper and I hang them in different areas of my place. So like pretty much no matter where I'm at, I see this goal like constantly, And it's not necessarily for my conscious minds. It's really for my subconscious money. So there's times that I'm taking it in and absorbing what I have on this board without even consciously noticing it. And I'm doing this to program my subconscious mind. So whatever future I make all of my future realities of present fact this and as a late instead of me just putting down Okay, I want to make this much money. I want to have a relationship with this person. I do it more like material things that have fallen off the list and has become more about just I just want to be creative. I want to wake up and feel abundantly creative. I have this endless will of creativity that I can draw from whenever I want, for however long I want, at any time, anywhere, And then that has resulted in a lot of manifestations just because I'm focusing more on the ability to fish as opposed to the fish itself and fish in this example, is the material thing like a car or a watch or money that's a fish. I am thinking of manifests being better at fishing. Do you have advice for young creators and their parents trying to learn how to fish? People have time goals that they set for themselves. I should have this much money or be at this stage in my career at this time. We do that. When you're eighteen, you're like, I need to own a business at twenty three. So you turn twenty three, you don't own a business, and now you're discouraged, and now you want to quit when if you would have just kept going, you would have owned it at and by the time you're twenty eight and you own it, you wouldn't look at it like too old man. So a lot of struggles and anxiety and depression and self doubt and second guessing. A lot of that is attached to time, and your parents have time expectations on you as well, because that's how they evaluate their apparently. So if your kid is twenty four and they need to live with you and they're struggling, you're like, oh, man, like what when is this gonna turn out? Your little hobby and they're trying to protect you at the end of the day, that's their intention. It comes off wrong because they're like, oh, y'all a ship on my dreams and all that. But it's not for it's not for your parents to understand. H It's not for them too. It's a difficult thing for you as the creative to accept, but it's not for them to accept. When I first started rapping and I wanted everybody to jump on the Boby Sessions bandwaggon and they was like, oh, this is I'll be what ibb this is my dream? This is my life goal, it's my life purpose. But that's not for them. They're not in my head, so they can't see the future that I have for myself. And then I learned a very valuable lesson and some of my my mother told me, and I'd never forgotten it. She told me my mom end up being or both my parents end up being cute supporters of my music down the line, but in the beginning it wasn't, and my mom said I couldn't support it because I didn't believe it, and that changed my life. Wouldn't view that as an insult. I view that as you know what I'm wrong, You're right, because you shouldn't. You don't owe me support because you're my parents. Any child that's expecting their parents to do that, I wouldn't do it. I would highly recommend not doing that. You need to be you need to be on your path, and you need to be okay with your parents judging you because that's what they're supposed to do, because at the end of the day, they don't want you to be homeless. Now you believe in yourself and or you believe that you're gonna be successful, you need to depend on that and no external validation from anyone else. And what are they say? If you want it enough, you're gonna find out a way to go get it. We'll be right back and now back to the show. I'm bugging out after that interview. We all are. It was one of our best yet. The tension over whether we signed sponsors for the pod is completely forgotten among the three of us as we celebrate the recording and pack up our stuff. But as we head out from the school, two things Bobby Sessions said keep ringing in my head. That's a lot of responsibility that comes with that platform he signed, and he talked about the responsibility that comes with that. Our platform may still be minored by comparison, but our social responsibility is exactly what we were debating before the interview started. Marco, when I chat about it more on the subway right back to Far Rockaway, but I'm still unpacking the Bobby Sessions interview when he started talking about parents not supporting artistic careers, about not feeling entitled to that, and that hit home for me. It's what I've been struggling with with my parents. It's why it's all led to me being grounded and now in therapy, all I really wanted was some support, encouragement and understanding from my parents. Bobby's lying cuts me so deep I can't get it out of my head. Marco. When not split up at the station, I pull out my phone during I walk home and send a d M to Umpah. I asked if she'd be willing to be our season finale guests, and in no time I find myself at the front door. You don't owe me support because you're life parents. Any child that's expecting their parents to do that, I wouldn't do it. Hey, Ruben, and how is your interview? It went well. We're almost done with the season and almost ready for the final project presentation in school. Good good, slide my backpack off my shoulder and sit down by mom on the couch. Here goes nothing. I want to ask you both something go for a kid though. After our final interview next week, Janelle is going out to a BLM rally in Brooklyn. She invited me along, sort of jokingly because she knows I'm still grounded, But I figured, you know, maybe if it was worth a shot to ask if I could go out with her and Marco for a good talks. Mom puts down Bell Hook's book All about Love and gives me her full attention. That's funny. It's the same book Janelle was reading when I met him. Boy, are you trying to play us? That's clever. You're smart, honey, he gets that from me. I mean it has been over a month. Things are going well in therapy. Why not ask well? As long as you're being honest, I'm in favor of you being part of something bigger than yourself. I turned on my mom a little shocked. I thought she'd take more convincing than that, all her worries about me being out in the city at night. Reuben, your dad and I will talk about this tonight, gather the details about when, where, what time, and we'll think about it as long as you, Marco and Janelle take the right precautions and stick together. I think I have some permanent markers, so you guys can write your phone numbers on your wrists, and I'll run to the store and grab a few bottles of whole milk for each of you in case of pepper spray. WHOA, My mom is really cool with this, Yes, ma'am, Damn, you got it all worked out, well, can we at least talk about bail funds tonight too? You're silly, but yes, we'll talk more later. I'm just glad things are getting back to normal around here, well the new normal. What do you mean, you know, with your surprise podcast project and now you've gone and got all political. Honest, you've given us a lot to digest in the last few months. Is this what other parents feel like when they're teenagers? Rebel? I pause because I feel a nurse to disagree here comes to break is not an active repel you, and it's a business and career opportunity. But I bite my tongue. I don't know. I've gone pretty easy on you on the team rebellion front. I guess I had to balance things up. That winks at me and gets back up to head into the kitchen. Talk concluded, I take my bag upstairs to my room. Tonight is the night I could feel it. I'm gonna make my meditation breakthrough, get all the way to the closing bil without moving or opening my eyes. I silenced my notifications settle in the first starts to drift through my mind are the ones that have popped up all day, the same way they do. When you're drifting off to sleep, floating in the void of my closed eyes, I see Janelle pushing back against going commercial. I see my parents given in to me going out to the protest. But as those visions passed deeper, recollections from the podcast in the last three months start popping up like bubbles in my mind. I start to fill a pins and needles buzzing in my feet as a rush of podcasts when when he floods my quiet brain, I try to meditate as much as I can, like every day, every other day. We all got a DNA that we fight like a lot. A lot of people don't really talk about it like that, but I don't really kid. You gotta do with anxiety. I have huge anxiety. It's like really bad. But lately I've been finding a lot of ways to cope with it and just kind of like get through it because I feel like a lot of it is fear of certain things. So I just try to like go with it and just try to like hope it's not going to turn out bad. The days of my constant panic attacks feel so distant now. My Dad's right, there's a new normal around here. The pod. Success isn't just in external accomplishment. Do this work. I'm finally getting to know myself again. More people care than you think if you are looking for help. Actually it's usually there. It's just gonna take a little longer. That's it. It's more again when you be yourself, be patient, have intuition about the situation. There's gonna be times where everyone is wrong and you're the right one. But you also have to continue to be humbled. You know. Don't shoot yourself as a foot. And I did shoot myself in the foot the way I handled the pie with my parents, the way I handled viral villa with everyone. But personally, deep down, I'm proud I took a stand. It was messy, but it was a necessary part of this whole painful process. Depends and needles in my feet extend up through my thighs. Even as all these recollections swirl around me, I feel more center than I haven't months. This is really quick and all that. That's when the will power going to play. A lot of struggles and anxiety and depression and self doubt and second guessing. A lot of that is attached to time. Time I've been sought of sorts with time trapped years backwards in my head, nursing wounds about my shutdown VI an account, all hesitant about the podcast because I wasn't sure I was ready. I wasn't sure it was time yet. Wow. I was so proud of my viral villa stunt. It felt so free because I haven't known how to live in the moment and just be be president. You have to know every single step with your journey, otherwise you're not gonna be able to retrace them and go back to point eight on the drawing board whenever you need to. Now you believe in yourself and or you believe that you're going to be successful, you need to depend on that and no external validation from anyone else. I did it. Pins and needles received as I unfold from my half lotus position and checked the meditation app. That definitely did not feel like ten minutes. We felt like so many ideas fly around my head and mounted to nearly nothing at all. I wasn't distracting myself this time. I was collecting myself and now. An exclusive track from Bobby Sessions, Can I Talk my Ship? Yeah? One question I have? Can I talk my Ship? Yeah? He can I talk to my ship. One question that I can talk in my ship. I'm gonna talk about it. You gotta problem, say so, get my check. No Billy Jean, her hair go off. No guillotine kick green like Draymond all the years with day one spreading like like hey, cooking up right, que ain't nothing to funk with. Shout out the wood. I was swearing to chuck tis without the shoes shine. I was an asshole when I was eighteen leaving the school. Now I got an afro. You got that big gin You got that dude, I got here, but that wo out the maam. I'm gonna just move out to pay buy me, y'all, look out family, all it said, I'm a sam whoa you know on the go, I might just pull off the lamb you pull off a man, I might pull a poop up and I'll keep it sup up for all the folks in the can trying to go buy the lamb that's in the pool, like round making that move. I am what I am what I think in my dream. I don't sleep, see my tooth. I don't blink. Track your brain. The thing like me and the bass key using my staff to seat and proving my health. Key, I don't set up for lash, keep cocking my flash skeet, none of my nag to skeep none of a tag keep runna da set a check it. I woke up this morning and I said, fun, my nine to five ain't nothing legend that by working at a job ty did not happen ship that I know, but longing me got a quick second guess and man, what the hell it roves need? I need racks on racks by the whole damn rack made the mus shut down, get the washbus down. I'm trying to catching busses for a table to bust down. I know the problem, but the better question is what now money? Your power? I needed to living below my potentially they feed in my stappit. I'll need information. I see it is set and demand what I wanted Muna speak to exist as you received it. You had to believe it all of my dubs. I'm gonna leave it behind. Talking will open. I started without hoping it down. It's a waste of my time. I know what happened for a local after he talking ship didn't want to pronto after open passes be a global rap. But I O my hapbits, took it, call my actions. Put my dogs like crew, well free Willy, I do well. Hit the league like blue Bell, I am the best. Keep using my shaf keep and proving my health. Keep. Don't set up for last, keep a ca come my flash of feet running my nag. Set run up a check running them Dad Feet Here Comes to Break is produced by Double Elvis and partnership with I Heart Radio. Executive produced by Deaf Jam Recordings. Executive produced by and starring Asanti Black Is Ruben, Produced by Danielle Perkins who plays Janelle, Bobby cs is Marco, Christopher V. Edwards as Dad, Raymie Cornell is Mom, and Taylor Bettinson. Written by Taylor Bettinson and the Kida Hill Artist Interviews conducted by Nikia Hill, directed by Christopher V. Edwards, mixed and edited by Matt ta Hainey, Sound recording by Colin Flem Music Elements and production by Ryan's Breaker. Additional production support by Jamie Dimons. Executive produced by Jake Brennan and Brady Sadler for Double Elvis. Special thanks to Orin Rosenbaum, Shelby Shankman, Sarah Kane, and Jordan Garrellic United Talent Agency, Beck Comedian Marketing, Barack Moffatt and Universal Music Group Rich Isaacson, Lind Gonzalez, Charlene Thomas, Merrissa Pizarro, Gabriel to Serrierio, Jessica Manarino and Nya Fleming at Deaf Jam Recordings and Conald Burn, Carrie Lieberman, Will Pearson, Noel Brown and the entire I Heeart Media team to hear bonus content, meet the cast, and go behind the scenes of Here It Comes to Break. Follow with double Elvis on Instagram or visit double elvis dot com. L another

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