Hell I Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Help I Suck At Dating. We have another very special episode today, not just because of the topic that we're going to be discussing, while that is a very special topic, but also because it's one of those rare moments where all three of us, Jared, Vanessa and myself are in studio together and we're just having the best time. We're just hashing it out, you know, We're just sitting around talking about dating life, relationships, having having a gay old time. Why is that saying falling off time anymore? I think it's taking a different meaning behind it now. It's just frustrating. I know what was It's in the Brady Bunch song? Is that right? Yeah? They say something about how happy and gay they are. Didn't they remake a Brady Bunch of movie or something like that? Previously? Too, there was two sequels. There was a Brady Bunch and the Brady Bunch Equal. You seem like the kind of guy who go see that one of those movies in theaters. I think I saw the first one in theater and he disappointed I was like six at the time. It really wasn't my choice. I was the parents. I'm sorry. I thought it was within the past five years. No, not to my knowledge. I just remember the one from the nineties that was pretty fantastic. I'm not gonna lie, but it was a parody of The Brady Bunch. It was it was a movie of The Brady Bunch, but was also a parody. I love how much you know about movies with the same actors and actors are quite sad. No, no, no, no no recasting. They had some of the former cast from the seventies make cameos. It was interesting. Yeah, I didn't realize that Bretty Bunch was the seventies show. I didn't even know TV was around in the seven Yeah. Yeah, watching Pretty Bunch what they were wearing, it was like, I just don't remember the iconic intro with like the squares or them like going down. It was like them going down the staircase. Yeah, and it was like, how's that song go? It's a The Brady Bunch and at the Brady Bunch, and I don't know that rings no bells for me, nothing, nothing. You never watched an episode story by there, So the reason I know that too is because they obviously do so many parodies of that for Tom Brady, where it's like always my fault. He brought up the Brady Bunch and he's very right, but maybe he totally did it before that episode started. Did you guys watch um like real like real shows like that as children or cartoons? I love cartoons? What was your go to cartoon? Um? Well, I actually loved I don't know if you guys had this t G I F t JF like Friday Friday. Yeah, so they had no the On Fridays they'd have like a lineup of Sabrina the Teenage, which it wasn't a cartoon, but I loved anything Boy meants World, Sabrina the Teenage which, Um, then there was another one with the basketball was that no hang Time? And then there was that TV show that what's his name was on it on a boat. That's how he became he became famous. He was on the Notebook. Yeah, I guess because he's a king. That was a Disney thing. That was the Disney Channel. No, it wasn't a Disney No, well he because he was he was a Disney kid. I remember that. No, but this is when he was a teenager. He anyways, the premise of the show was he was a student on a on a boat, on a cruise ship breaker high Breaker high that. I guess it's an I guess it's a Canadian. It was a Canadian show. Okay, that makes so good. I'm like, I want to go in to school. I want to go to school on a boat. Was going famous in Canada before he started really becoming famale. I think he really became famous because of the Notebook. Oh yeah, I was like the Notebook was his big one. Um. Because it's funny looking back at Ryan Gosling's IMDb and I didn't know if like in Canada they're like, hey, we got a guy and remember the Titans, Like he's going to play the cornerback. He's a Canadian. I don't even remember that. Yeah, you know I was the blondead. He's the blond kid. Well, you know how the Notebook. So apparently they cast him as the lead of the show. And then what happens with is when you're making a movie and you know you have a lead of the show, Oh, you want to make sure that the person that they're going to be uh playing with is like they have a lot of chemistry. So apparently they hired him and then they brought in McAdams. Yeah, exactly, and they thought that the chemistry was like crazy. There's an audition tape of Rachel McAdams reading for the part of Alley and Notebook with Ryan Gosling, who has already casted. But apparently there was rumors that they really did not get along on set, which is interesting because then they date dated, yeah, for years after that. I wonder if they broke up during the movie too. Um, I can look that up while you guys talk to someone. I wonder strats are for people who um play like a scene with their partner, and how many people actually end up dating after I bet you that the fact that Gosling and McAdams had its multuous relationship would help them both in that role because it wasn't it kind of like a movie where they had ups and downs in their relationships. Yeah, and there's one of the great Like, I mean, I sometimes can be a little dark, but there is a scene in that movie that I love. It's the fighting scene that everybody watches. It's where Ali goes back so she's like, yeah, she well, she goes so Ali goes to see Ryan Gosling. They make love because they haven't seen each other in years and they're still in love with each other, but she's getting married to this guy. And then she goes back and she's like, that was a mistake. I shouldn't be with you. And then Ryan Gosling gives just an awesome performance where he's, you know, trying to tell her that he's the one she really wants and she doesn't love the other guy. And we watched movies like this or like, oh, this is real life, this is what it's supposed to be. Like, yeah, it's the meme where he's like, what do you want? And now it's like a meme of like anytime to dinner, what do you want? I don't know? Um, so, yeah, it's pretty fantastic. Is that I don't know? No, it's she doesn't say anything. That's the whole point. It's like she's so indecisive, she can't even say anything. Anyways, That love story is so cute. We break down romantic movies. That's definitely a relationship topic. Do that on an episode that I'm not here because I don't know as much about movies, so, oh, you know way more than I do. There's got to be some sort of romantic movie that you have seen, or Titanic seeing Titanic. Yeah, but I feel like Jared could dissect these movies ten ways from about dissecting, but there's got to be a movie that you love out there that what about how was a guy in ten Days? Definitely? Maybe I think it's about you, Definitely. Maybe that's an interesting choice. Ryan Reynolds fan, He's like my, He's like my, He's my cheap guy. You know. Really she's also Canadian, right, Yeah? I think Rymes he's from Vancouver. A lot of the good ones I like to call out the Canadian people. There's a lot of good ones. Keanu Reeves is Canadian. Yeah, Yes, there's some good Canadian blood that I'm very envious of. It isn't Jim Carrey Canadian, Wayne Gretzky's Canadian, Wayne Gretzky's Canadian, Vanessa Grimaldi's Canadian, Vanessamaldi's Canadian, Justin Bieber's Canadian Calm Bristoke. I mean, Drake's awesome obviously, but also very annoying. During the NBA Finals, did you see that post that he um when he was going into I don't know Who's hair and got a piece of lint and then posted a picture saying this lint is up for sale on eBay and it actually so Yeah, he was such a troll. Um, there's not so definitely maybe as you'r like, go to Ryan Ryan, Ryan Reynolds, what about yours? Who might go to? Um? Obviously I'm a big one. Harry met Sally Van Is that obvious? Um, it's pretty obvious. I guess, oh, if you want, well, it's not obvious. But um, when everything was happening with Ashley and me, that movie was just very resonated, resonated a lot, especially the end when Billy Crystal is because they've been friends in the movie, their friends for ten years before Billy Crystal is like, he goes to her at a New Year's Eve party. It's a fantastic scene at the end of the movie. He goes after Meg Ryan and she's standing there and it's New Year's Eve and he's like, when you find out who you want to spend the rest of your life with, you what the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. I mean, that's cute. Yeah, we have Ashley and I have a little picture in our bedroom that has that quite yeah, And I think our hashtag for the wedding is going to be when Jared met Ashley because we can't really think of one. That's a great question that I never even thought to ask, what's the wedding hashtag when Jared met? Actually? We're thinking so that on in Ashley's bridal shower, it said it, it said when Jared met Actually, that was like the hashtag for a bridle shower. So I'm assuming that's going to be for the wedding. It's more of Ashley's decision than mine. I'm very indifferent because we can't think of a really a good one. Um, and that's cute and funny, and do you actually crowdsource it, like like put it out to Instagram and be like, hey, we're trying to think of something super creative. And we did that, and there's a couple of good ones that I can't remember off the top of my head. But well, it was like when Ashley I becomes Ashley H or something along she taking your last name, she will be taking my last name. But she's still debating whether she's gonna Typhone. I think she's finally decided she's gonna hyphen CANETI, so she may be Ashley Nicole Ashley Nicole I CANETI Han. And what about your children? Uh, they'll take my last name, so just be blank. It's just crazy though, Like, can' we just have that discussion. Why is it that children have to take the men's last name um? Because they're like, what the history behind that? Because men um? I think it's probably just a sosogynistic thing. Yeah, it's definitely, but why are we still doing that? I agree? I mean, listen, Josh's last name is Wolf. I would love for my if we have kids, I would love for my kids to have his last name. So I've been pretty vocal about this. On the flip side of that, if and when I get married, I would take my wife's last name because it's such a suit you like doing things in reverse. It's just such a ridiculous tradition. Like I get it, Everyone does it, so it's like we're going to do it, But at the same time, it's like, why why do the men get to keep your last name? Also, my last name is like not that cool, so and I think back in Montreal and Quebec. At one point you had to change the women had to change their last name to their husband, but they had to pay for it. Yeah, now it's not you don't have to do it anymore, but at one point you had to pay for it, so you would become Vanessa Wolf. I don't I have never really thought about it. It It sounds pretty cool. Yeah, Vanessa Grimaldi is pretty right. There's not a lot of Grimaldi's out there because it's super unique. Nuele's unique. But like in a weird way. I always say, it sounds like you're kind of gagging when you say, like right, and I have two brothers and so like they could let the family name live on. Also, I don't really give a funk about my family name, Like why do we care? Like I was going to ask you that it's kind of egotistical of us. Still almost be like I want my family's name to live on. Is it egotistical or is it pride? Yeah, Like there is a little bit of me that wants to keep the Haven name just because it's my family name, and it's my dad's name and my grandfather's name. And I know that might be egotistical, but it's also kind of like, is it egotistical to say I'm a proud American? I don't know. There's a balance right where you want to be a nationalist and say you're like, hey, I'm a proud Canadian, um, but there's that other side to say, well, we're not better than anybody, but I'm also very proud to of who where I come from. Are you a proud American? Uh? Yeah, I'm definitely proud American. I mean, listen, not to say there's a lot of stains in this country that are currently happened and obviously with our history where we have uh screwed up many many times. But you know, so I have a lot of different countries in a lot of different I like to say, I'm I'm happy to be an American, but I'm not necessarily proud of it, you know what I mean. I don't know. It's especially when you travel so much, like you say you're from, you say, well that you people always prick up like, oh U s a like I love us a blah blah blah. But it's just like the connotations of stains all that kind of stuff. There's a lot's a lot about history here Are you proud to be white? Uh? Yes, yeah, Because I also there's we're living in a society right now where I feel like you have to shift on being white. Like I feel like, like anything I do in my life, if I'm successful, I feel like I have to make like put in contexts, be like I know I'm privileged, I know I'm white, Like I'm sorry, Um, like I have to. I feel like I have to say that before I can be proud of anything I do. Um to be like, hey, I'm proud I did this. I know I'm privileged. I know I had to, you know, I know, grow up white. Um. So there's a part of me that wants to be like yes, But at the same time, like that's okay. You know, it's okay to be white. It's cool to be white, it's cool to be black, it's cool to be Asian, it's cool to be a lot of different ethnicities, you know, everyth But it's whatever you are, you should be proud of it kind of thing. I think. So, you know, because I think especially in this culture right now, the political culture that we live in. Not to make this a political podcast, but I think there's a lot I don't want to talk about the podcast We Can I love that about politics. Yeah, I'd love to talk to you about this off air, because I have a lot of opinions about any Yeah, I heard you and Josh really get into politics. Yeah, but I think maybe the some of the reason why we are in the state we are within this country is because there's a lot of people who feel I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but they feel like they're walking on glass a little bit um and that's obviously very I don't know, I don't want especially in the landscape that where now it's like everyone gets offended by everything that we people say and do you know what I mean? And like with that, I think that's what you're saying, like everyone's walking on eight shows because it's like, oh, I don't want to say one thing that could possibly rub someone's feathers the wrong way. Yeah, even now, like I don't want to express my opinions, even though I don't think my opinion is really that radical or wrong, but I'm just nervous about somebody offending someone and then they, you know, email the show and be like, oh my god, I can't believe you said that, and it's like, you know, there are times where I missed the old days of like if you didn't like somebody's opinion, just don't listen to what they have to say. That car channel. Do you think any of that carries into dating? Uh? Oh, yeah, of course, But you didn't hear that was that? Do we think that any of the landscape that like we're faced with in twenty nineteen carries into that How it's like changed and shaped the dating culture that we're in? Now, what do you mean, like, I think for better? Yeah, specifically with the equality between men and women. You don't think me example, So I want to hear your I mean, obviously the ideas of men and women have changed pretty significantly over the past few years. I feel like open mindedness is is a lot more of a preached thing nowadays, which is great. Um. I guess I don't have a specific example to give you, but I'm just saying, like, just the way that things have changed, where it's like, you know, we have all these movements, and it's great to have these movements because it's great to like bring um exposure to these topics and these issues that we're dealing with, but also it's like sometimes you have to like, now you have to consider more things as you're going out to date more people, right, Like you have to be more considerate and cautious. And do you feel like as a man you're more cautious in the in the way that you approach a female. Uh, that's a good question. Yeah, I hear. So there's a comedian, um who has a joke. I don't know if I'm out saying this, but a comedian who as a joke saying he basically says how since the me Too movement, he will never get on top of a girl whenever he goes into bed with her. He does he wants to be the submissive one, and he will never go on top of her. Conveniently, for me, my favorite position is on bottom, so it's like I'm always going to be on the bottom anyways, um Tore, you said that when Dean said, has the landscape changed in the dating world? Has that better or worse? And I said, I think it's better because of a lot of different reasons, and you were shaking your head, No, what why is that? I just think that guys have taken more of a passive role on it now that they're like I can't figure out what this girl wants or what's right or wrong that now I'm just going to completely back off. And but then why can't that be on the girl to then step forward and take a more aggressive role. But I think we have. But I think that now it's like enabled the whole dating realm where it's like, I mean I get bumbled, was like, no, I'm going to be the girl. I'm going to reach out to you. But I think that now it's like we go to a bar, and I think it's just caused like isolation almost besides it being like flu with it's more of like guys don't do it, so I'm angry, or it's now the girls are doing it and it's only going to be on my terms. And I think that there just could be more, it could be more fluid of I think guys are now I'm just gonna sit back and get d M or you know what I mean. I think it's the technology realm tomb has now. I think technology just screwating well now because as a guy or a girl, if you see a cute person at the bar, you no longer need to go up to him at the bar. You can easily just go home, find them on Instagram and send them at Is that so Josh ended up when we were in Tahoe. He got a message from someone because they realized that we were together off of my Instagram account. And I'm like, it's just crazy how people can know so much information about you. I want to bring it back. Sorry one second, just to what Tor just said and why I'm frustrated to buy that. It sounds like to me, I've heard this before pretty often, especially when it comes to girls. They want they want things that are convenient for them, in the sense that they want the men to pay for dinner, but then they all necessarily I'm just saying that they want the general that's the generalized statement. Okay, sure, but a girl would want a guy to pay for dinner, but then also like not have to, like she wants she wants the guy to step up when it's convenient for her, like don't hold the door open for me, I'm a modern woman. That's fine, but also pay for my dinner, you know, like that that type of stuff. It can be so frustrating to hear because it's like, if you want it, if you want it, at any given point, then you have to have it that way for the forever sort of thing. Well, I get I get your point. I get your point. It's like, well, have it like the new way or the old way, like there's no one between, because then like the guy is always going to lose out. Is that what? That's what you're trying to say. I think my point of if there's all these dating apps in my head, it's like, okay, well it's so much easier now for a guy to like reach out to me, or for a guy to be a little bit more committed because there's all these different opportunities for them to get to that place. You know, why can't you reach out to the guy? Oh? I do all the time. Well not now that I'm in a relationship obviously, but I a lot of If you line up all the guys that I dated, most of them was because I went after them. To Dean's point, Bill Birds, that's a really funny joke where women see men's life as a buffet where they go through and like I'll take pay for dinner, I'll take some of that, pay for the movies. Uh, screw that, you can keep that um And she's yeah, it's like I like this, I don't like that. I like this, I don't like that, and it's kind of messed up. But that's that really is the way that it is sometimes with people. Well, we had someone on the podcast talking to us about how dating now is like um, fast food dating or something like if you're if you want to make sure you're in like a good and healthy relationship, Well, if you're going to go to the grocery store, make sure that you're going to pick the best apple out of the bunch and not like the one that has the most bruises on it. And same thing. Like I remember her analogy was so amazing and I'm not I'm not I'm not bringing I'm not making sense right now, but it was something to that extent. Does that make sense? Yeah, And I think I'm on the reverse of that with with men wanting certain things for women, like we live in a how do I phrase this? I think men really crave attention from I'm generalizing, but I think there's a lot of men and relationships that crave like attention and emotion from their female that they that the female is more than happy to provide for the man, but the man reverse does not showcase the same much. But that's love languages. Yeah, So if you're someone that needs affection, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to show your love by giving affection. I think within a relationship, i'd be willing to say that majority of people need affection, And I don't know. Sometimes I think about that within my own relationship, because actually is very affectionate towards me, and I'm very affectionate back, but certainly not to the extent that she is, just because that's her nature. And sometimes in my head, I think, um, is that fair? Because I love her showing affection towards me, and I do it a lot, but not as much as her. So should I really try to do as much as her? On the head though you've given received different love languages. I give physical touch, but I receive acts of service, you know what I mean. So it's just like, I think that's kind of just what that situation is. Maybe yeah, or maybe you're maybe just your level of giving isn't quite as great as Ashley's is, you know what I mean in terms of affection exactly right. But I mean I know people who are in relationships and they're constantly arguing like, oh, I just want him to, I don't know, write me a love letter. But if that's not what the person is used to doing and used to showing their affection, you can't be mad at them for not stepping up to the plate because that's not how they show their love. Like I'm not someone that will buy someone like elaborate gifts. I don't even buy myself elaborate gifts. But if I see something that reminds me of you, Like my boyfriend loves diet coke, I'll always be the first person whenever we go out to a restaurant, I'll be like, I'll have a glass of water and he'll have a diet coke. You order drinks for Josh. Yeah, even even when he'll have the diet coke, he'll have the chicken. Even my one of my good friends exactly just like, what's going to know what I don't? I do it, No, but I'm doing it because I want to be attentive. I'm not doing it till one of my good friends is the same way. She's always because she is one of those people where she's like you never called to ask how my day is going. You never like inquire about like this this, or you haven't asked about this, like why I'm feeling this way, and I'm just like, I'm not that person that can give you those things that I will never be that person. You shouldn't expect that from me. And if you continue to carry that expectation of me doing that, you're continuously going to be let down. So does that translate into your relationships as well? Um that specific situation maybe, but this this one specifically, I'm compartmentalizing it. I'm not giving you this part of myself and so you should never expect me to give that to you. And when you get upset that, it's not that you're not receiving it from me. The only person you can really be upset with is yourself for expecting that. You know, in friendships or relationships, the one thing, the one main reason why people get into arguments is expectation. Well, of course, because your expectations are not being met. But my question is you talk about certain things that you just can't give because that's not who you are. But within a relationship, should you try to change, Well, this is a friend this is a friendship. No, I know, but I'm asking within a relationship said, there's obviously times where you're significant other will say hey, I need this from you, and you're like, well, that's just not who I am. But I think there has to be a balance, right, because there has to be a part of you. You can't just tell your significant other well, this is who I am and I can't change anything. Oh no, then you don't want to be with that person. If there's no room or if there's no room, there has to be some push and pull. Yeah, that's what I've been arking. Yeah, I go back and forth on this. Actually sometimes because I agree with you. It's kind of selfish for you to be like, this is who I am. Taking or leave it sort of thing, right, But on the flip side, it's like, that's who you are. You like you're like I feel like you're someone who do you feel like you're someone who's very black and black or black and white? Because I feel like you're very black and white. I don't know. Actually, like you you have to learn how to be a little bit more fluid and being like who's lived in the gray areas? Vanessa? Oh yeah, I'm trying to learn. I'm trying to learn to gray I just, oh, you are the ground living in the gray areas. Yes, but in terms of like being hard and this is what I think and this is what I believe, and it's like you can't ship away at changing your mind. Yeah, I just I wanted to add something else, but I can't remember what it was. I don't know, I don't know. But we need to take a break. I was gonna say, let's let's take a quick break and then we can continue to jump into it. We still haven't really talked about your wedding too much. I know we're gonna talk about the wedding. And I found the story about Ryan Gosling Rachel McAdams that I will read very breathe this and then we'll jump into a break. Read it now before the break. Okay. So there was some heavy fighting apparently between Gosling and McAdams on the set of The Notebook, which the director Nick has a vets Uh talks about and he says that actually helped the role both of them in the roles. To your point, and he says, maybe I'm not this is a quote from the director may I'm not supposed to tell this story, but they were really not getting along one day on set really not. And Ryan came to me and there's a hundred and fifty people standing in the big scene and he says, come here, and he's doing a scene with Rachel and he says, would you take her out of here? And bringing another actress to read off camera with me? I said what he says, I can't. I can't do it with her. I'm just not getting anything from this. And then they went into the room they talked to throw and bought and then and then they started dating. Uh. Maybe you know, sometimes hate breeds to love. It's a weird It's it's sometimes you can get those wires crossed and you can kind of confuse it to which just means you care about the person very deeply. Yeah. I guess all right, Well, we're gonna take a quick break and then jump into some more start talking about wedding talk. I suppose, well, jared'sney that we're talking about rom coms because it wasn't Ashley's bridal shower a rom com theme. Yes, it was, Like I said, the hashtag was when Jared met Ashley, which is a play off of When Harry met Sally. I don't know why I'm saying it that way, and they play a movie, the rom com movies in the background, like Ashley's favorite rom com is um The Wedding Planner with Jlo Oh my god, I love that movie. Loves that was Jalo as an actress. Amazing good. No, she's really good. She's good, she's good. She was also in another movie. Um, don't you ever see that movie? Enough? Yeah, so she also plays really well and she was great enough. She was great in Selena. Um, what else has she been in? Why am I made in Manhattan? Made Manhattan? Manhattan? Manhattan? Okay, So isn't it funny how she pronounced it, Say it again, Manhattan and I'm like, Manhattan, there's no there, Okay. So it was rom company. Yeah, what else? There was just like tons of rom com stuff there because just Ashley and I are big movie buffs and she loves romantic comedies. So that was the whole scene. You have a groom shower, guys, don't do that shower now. I had like a small bachelor party with my Rhode Island friends Dean. You couldn't fly out there. That's the issue, because I have I have has been in l A, I have one in Vancouver, one of Virginia. And then so the bachelor and basketball party already happened. Yeah it was. It wasn't really a bad I mean I just went to a casino, um, because actually went to Vegas or No, she went to the New Kids on the Block Conco Oh that's it. Yeah, they were on a bus. Yeah. And then just some of my friends and family in Rhode Island went to a casino fox Woods Casino down south and did bowling. And then it was that on the same no, no, no, no no, it's two different days. No, she went to go see New Kids in the Block, which was awesome. She took they took a party bus from l A. So much fun. Yeah, I was pretty good. And to Annaheim, I think they were playing and um, it's kind of weird to say, but we're we're kind of friends with Donnie Wahlberg and Jennie McCarthy. Really, yeah, your friends as so many artists. Yeah, it's it's honestly, Ashley Ashley just well not did she ever but did she ever befriend the handsome brothers she's friends? Well she knows, um which one Isaac? Yeah, I think it's really sweet. Um, yeah, she knows Isaac Um. But with the New Kids in the Block concert, they got to go backstage and hang out with Donnie. And then we went to go see New Kids in Boston, which was one of the greatest shows in my life because there are New Kids on the Block is the Boston band. They played in Boston, and they just catered to the Boston fans. Like he came out in a full Red Sox uniform and like they played shipping up to Boston while they were putting all the Boston sports logos up there, and it was and it was like this is when you said recently, right, this is the one just that recently right, Yeah, gets into his little world. Oh. It was just the coolest thing because you know it was anyway, um, but what's your question? Right, Yeah, this is so that was her like bachelor party. So she had a party us up there, and her bachelor party sounded a little Yeah. I mean she got to hang out Donnie Wolberg. It's way cooler than mine. I mean I had fun. We went golfing. I love golfing, so my mine was a blast to Yeah, because your wedding is is pretty soon, pretty soon, which is really crazy. To think about because it just there's been so much planning involved that had it. It's become more and more stressful as time goes on, because it was so much fun when we first were wedding planning, as you know, because our wedding planner, his name is Truy Williams. He's the best and he's just a really close friend. And we're getting married in Rhode Island, so we flew out to Rhode Island. We're doing venue shopping, which was really um close to my heart because Rhode Island is my home and I think I've always envisioned getting married there and so be able to you know, go home, be with my family and then also look for places that we're gonna get married and then pick the place and then do like food tasting was so much fun because we had we had three caters, all were awesome, but we had to choose one obviously, and it was like having dinner with your family three different times. Her parents flew in for it, and my parents obviously on Rhode Island, so it was like and and they wint and dine you because you know, they want to be your cater and so it was cool because I think for the three of us, we can all. Um, we're pretty lucky that a lot of times we get treated very well wherever we go. Um. And so it's really nice to share that experience with my parents and her parents to um, you know, give him a taste of like and that's like extra bonding, like, hey, what do you need? You want another last champagne? Whatever you need, we got and so that was really cool. Um. So any last minute details that you guys are still ironing out, Yeah, it's been There's there's one hiccup. There's a couple of hiccups within any wedding. They'll all get solved. But it's just it's you know, the clock is taking at this point and that's become the most stressful thing God, bless you, bless you, is that I'm nervous I won't be done in time for the wedding, which it will be, but it's just all the and you know, and now we have to pay for things, and like the quotes come in and I mean, you know, people can give money at weddings. So when we get married in Canada, and I guess maybe just in our culture, we don't expect physical gifts. We give money to help pay off the wedding. Yeah, I mean, obviously that's ideal. I would never ask for that. Whatever people want to give us is what they give us. They don't have to give us anything. The most important thing for us is that everybody is there, because we also know that whoever's not in Rhode Island is a little stress filled to try to get there. How far is of a flight is it from from l A? It's well to Rhode Islands, not bad. It's about a little less than five hours, like four hours, and yeah, you can fly into Boston and then it's about an hour drive south. Why did I do that? Find like l A to Atlanta Atlanta Providence because Providence is like so Boston to the venues about like an hour and a half um, and then Providence to the venue is like a half hour, so it's a way shorter drive. Um but um but yeah, on the way back it sucks because it's like the jet stream which still boggles my mind down a little bit, slows you down. So it's about five and a half hour flight. Adds on about forty five minutes, which is a long time when you're up in the air. Um but We're very excited. I'm just really excited for the week of to come. I want to get there a few days early because I really want to try to enjoy that time and like just go golfing, you know, and and hang out and enjoy that time before like you know, everything starts vamping up the weekend of. Do you like vow is prepared already and everything. No, I gotta really get on that. And apparently I need to get actually a gift, that's the thing. Yeah, Yeah, she's I don't know if she already got me one, but she but she's expected. She's like, you can get us something that she can wear the day of the wedding. Where where? Yeah, like maybe a piece of jewelry, right, that could be nice. I mean, if you're looking at the wrong guy, I think I give it to her after the wedding though. Isn't that kind of customary? I don't know. Apparently there's also a tradition that you might hurt each other before the wedding. No, we're not going to do that. Like then after the rehearsal dinner, will go out separ raids for the night of and then I'll see her at the wedding, which I think is kind of cute because I'd like to not see her the day of. I'd like to have it be a little different. Um, and so would she. Um. We're actually debating staying in separate rooms like the night before, no, like a couple of nights before, to really kind of build the anticipation nice. Yeah, just to really make it a little different, you know, to really look forward to that wedding night, even though we'll definitely just pass out. That's what I've been hearing that everybody just goes to the room and pass out. Um. But also there's a tradition that you have to something blue, something something, something new, something blue. So this is where Ashley is supposed to wear, like something borrowed, something that she can have from her mom. Yeah, blue, And I don't know, I just found this out as well. There's a lot of all these things. Yeah, and something new, well knew could be her dress, something borrowed could be like a piece of jewelry from her mom, and then something blue can be on her the garter belt she was talking about yet a garter belt or like you know, underwear. I don't know, I guess, I guess Catholic. Um it it isn't a church though is a church, um. But they were very lenient UM. And I like to describe Ashley and I as spiritual um with um you know, uh, some thoughts about religion. UM, I would say which way you both want to get married in a church? That was the one thing where we, I want to say, disagreed because I was very open to either. I think seeing the venue that we got there is a beautiful outdoor area UM that I was thinking would be really nice. But you know Rhode Island, it can rain, so I think it's really yeah, so we wanted to make sure everything was indoors. God forbid if it rains, we don't have a plan. B you know everything that half rain, right, it almost be romantic, Yeah, it would be romantic. Yeah, but it has to redo all of our makeup and all of her hair. But it's such a beautiful place. It turned like, especially that where we're going to drive to is really pretty and if the sun is out, it's going to be really nice. And we may have you know, some trolleys to pick you guys up in. Uh no not horse carriages were against that. Come onding you of all people horses. I ran out the bulls. You just sounded like a horse, right there. Can you do that again? Holy crap, that's pretty good unintentional you know what you were in your past life. Um but uh but yeah, it's kind of weird because I think we talked about the wedding a lot. To be fair, we're questioned about it a lot. But on the other end of that, you only get married once. Knock on wood. Um, and uh so I'm gonna talk about it as much as possible. I was thinking about that because I wanted to post something on Instagram about the wedding, and I was like, ah, people are probably already, you know, they just they just wanted to be here. They just want to see us get married now at this point, and I was like, what the hell am I talking about? I get married once in my life? Yeah, I'm going to post about to h It is pretty crazy when I think about it, everything that we've gone through, the up and downs, and and it's funny now because a lot of my friends, because Ashley has been so close to my life for so long now, a lot of my friends are sending me pictures of like, dude, this was three years ago. And it's like me and Ashley had a couch and we're sitting on opposite end of the couch and there was a picture with my buddy Kenny, who's in the rooms party send and it's he was like, this is a picture from three years ago when Ashley was in town and you guys were like fighting on the couch about something, and like I had my hat over my head and actually had her head down and he was thinking like at that point, like you guys are already a married couple and you just don't realize it yet. Um So, it's really funny to think about everything that actually and I have been through and it feels like a lifetime ago. Do you think anything's gonna change post marriage now? I I mean, I'm not sure. I've heard different viewpoints of you know, things change after you get married or or no, it's exactly the same. I think the big thing I hear from a lot of people is when you move in together, that changes a lot. Already live together for over a year now, and um so I don't see foreseeing that much changing. Are you gonna wear a wedding band? Oh? Yeah, of course. Um so that can own up to you know, traditional like grass or whatever color of gold. Yeah. Um, so I went into Neil Lane and picked out a ring. Uh and Ashley got her wedding band. Were both looking at it. So it was a pretty cool moment. Can you can you tell us what kind of bandard is? That's just like something you want. I have no idea what type of band it is. It's going to be silver? Yours mine? Is it plane? Yeah? It's pretty plain. Diamonds on it, No diamonds on it. Now. I saw this one guy who had a wedding ban. It was all diamonds. That's pretty cool. I saw men just war basically just a circle with nothing. It's just more of like a symbolism. What do you think when people get tattoos too? What do you think of when guys were like the black ones? I like the black one? Do you? Ashley's doesn't? I don't like. I don't know if I like it. I think it's like it's too try hard to be edgy? You know? Yeah? Is it a wedding band? Is it not a wedding ban? Title of my autobiography Dan try Hard to Be too, try hard to be? I like the traditional silver. I think that's a good way to go. Either the silver like the gold or brass color I think are the cool ones. Yeah, I think it was copper, Kappa or what other? What other? Would you guys get tattoos of each other's initials? Like supermanent? Yeah, you never know what's gonna happen. Really, the marriage is in permanent. Um, that's a joke. It's definitely. I don't know. See, the thing is, I was talking to Dean about this the other day. I don't have a tattoo now. Dean said he'd be willing, so we're both Dean said that he'd be willing to get a tattoo with me the night before the wedding. Would that'd be a gift. That could be a gift. We would get matching tattoos. It would both be a plus J and so Dean would have an A plus J tattoo on him. I'm very glad to do that. That would be really cute. Where would you get it? Probably my butt cheek? Yeah, I wouldn't want it anywhere else. No, that's cute, it's adorable. Unless I mean, I will get it wherever Jared wants me to get it. I guess let's just say that right on your forehead within the torso and the waist down anyway, Okay, that's fair. Um. But yeah, so that's kind of like the story of wedding planning right now and everything goes into it and uh, yeah, it's been fun, it's been stressful. Um, But I think both Ashley and I are really trying to just like step back and enjoy them because I don't want to overlook what's about to happen. And I think after the fact that you're gonna look, BA can be like, wow, that off flew by. You know, it's already flying by, it's already almost August. I remember when my sister got married also in August. It was a really really hot day, and the day after her wedding, she's like, I don't know why I stressed out over the smaller d and we spoke about this before. She she's like, if I can do this all over again, I wouldn't stressed out about the small details because then that takes over and then you're not in the moment and you're not present and you're not absorbing everything that's happening around you. So yeah, like you said, just try to be in the moment. Totally. I feel like I'm going to be a little bit of a jerk on my wedding day. Not a stress, no, not a stress, not intentionally, but to make sure that Ashley and I enjoy the day and enjoy the moment, because we just want to make sure that that happens. And so in order to make sure that happens, I think I'm going to make my priority Ashley and of course, but that's like the one day you should be selfish. But there's people who have told me that the wedding is actually about your guests. Okay, well that was another thing I want to bring up. So in our culture, would your guests our guests are were we expect the bride and the groom to come around to the table and greet everybody. I don't think we're gonna do that, okay, because that's just I'm consuming and I want to say hi to everybody. But at the same time, we've put so much effort into this one. I want to make sure that we enjoy it. And if that means that I'm not going to take time to go around to every table and shake hands like I'm running for office, I might do that. I don't know I agree with that, but I also want to see and hang out with everybody I know. I know someone that can help us answer a lot of these questions, and we're gonna have them on next Crystal Randon, who just got married in Paradise. Sure, DNA testing can tell you about where your ancestors are from, but did you know it could also give you a lot of genetic information about your health and traits. Understand more about yourself today and inform yourself on how you can live your life going forward. With twenty three and Means Health and Ancestry Service, you can learn how your genes can affect your health. It's a lot to take in, but once you know more, you can take action now how to stay healthy. I'm someone that likes to know more about my health and how I can stay healthier, so I love doing the twenty three ME testing. I'm also someone that likes to know and be in the know of the updates, and twenty three does send you emails on that, so you're always up to date with the process discover your health. 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Twenty three and ME tests selected genetic variants only. Visit twenty three and me dot com slash dean for important test information. Order your Health and Ancestry kit at three and me dot com slash dean, and you can meet your genes in one plus Personalized Genetic Reports. That's the number two three and me dot com slash d e A N. All right, and we are back with the one and only Coach Crystal Randown Crystal Random. How does that? I'm actually not switching my last name. I'm gonna go by just coach Crystal Crystal Nelson. Um, I'm not right now. And that's just because I just don't feel the need to change my name, because I mean, I am Crystal Nielsen and I love who I am. And um, I think that perhaps when we have children, I might hyphenate for sure their names I like, but I just don't feel like I need to change. So they're going to take your last name and Chris's last name probably and you guys just smush them together like Neil done or something like that. Well, it's funny because I don't know. I've had a lot of questions about that. They're like, are you gonna switch your name or not? I've heard it from both sides. I'm curious, what are your thoughts. Does a woman need to change her name or should she? Because that goes like we had this discussion earlier on UM in Quebec. It was obviously you had to at a certain point. Now you don't have to anymore. My my parents are divorced, and my mom had to pay for her now her maiden name to take it back, to take it back. So I'm like, you know, I I think for me, I love my last name. I don't think I will necessarily change my last name. But if I kids with my boyfriend now and his last name is Wolf, definitely want I want to hype the same thing I want to hype in a Grimaldi Wolf. I think I'm gonna I'm gonna play Devil's advocate here as I usually do in my school. He's wearing a shirt this is Angels. In my school. I went to a small town, not many kids. My high school had like two kids in it right in the entire school. There was one kid. His name was Cole Green Smith Cole Green hyphen Smith. And that kid got a lot of heat because he was the only kid in the entire school with a hyphenated last name. And so maybe maybe it's just me now who because do you not remember? I feel like I'm on I'm on Dean's page here. Not that anybody should change their last name, they don't have to, but yeah, kids are ruthless anything. And maybe maybe it's just me because I have this experience as a kid where it's like we like, he kind of got a lot of heat for it. So now I'm just like, now he's probably the cool kid because not many people have a hyphenated last name. I'll be honest, I don't. I haven't talked to him in years, but I'm just saying, maybe take that into consideration. I want to say there's a little more back to backstory to it, and it's that Chris has expressed to me multiple times that he's thought about changing his last name because on his mother's side, matt Arni is the name and because he has sisters like that name is going to die out, and so he's thought about changing his last name from Randoon to match Roni to pass on like the legacy of the name for his grandfather that he loves very very much. So because of that, I'm just like, I just I can't switch to rand don't. If you're going to switch to mat, I can't. So that's like another major reason why I'm just sticking with you know, So he's going to make that decision if and when you guys start trying for kids. I think it'll be in the future, and a lot of that is I mean, Randon comes from his father, and he doesn't have a relationship with his father, and so that's like a debate that he's kind of working through. See he's thought about He's like Chris Nielsen, that's a yeah, it sounds like a movie star starring star Lord because I'm kind of the same way as Chris, where it's like I don't really like my last name. My father and I have like a kind of a broken relationship as well, So I'm like, oh, just take my wife's last name, you know what I mean, you would do that. I would be open to it. Yeah, as long as it's something cool like Nielsen. You guys think that's cool. Yeah, because growing up, I was like, I thought it was just mediocre. I feel like everyone's else Nielsen. I'm like, it's Nielsen. I'm before you bro. Yeah, get it together in the Okay, Well, so Jared obviously has a wedding coming up. Yes, that's so exciting. Ad absolutely. Okay. So Chris and I just celebrated our one month anniversary. Congratulations. We are about to book our flight to your wedding as soon as I get back tonight, and I was strolling through some advice having gone through this recently, that is really critical that I want to make sure that I can help my brother messister out to have the most stress free experience. We were talking earlier, Jared, and you were saying that you're going to Rhode Island, so it's going to be a time change. So you're saying you're going out their few days early, right just to acclimate too, to acclimate and make sure that we're not rushed, because I really want to try to spend as much time there as possible before the wedding, so it doesn't just I don't fly in the day before, it just flies by. One thing I would recommend now, since you're a few weeks out, is setting your alarm to wake up a little bit earlier. That's smart every week, so that because you're gonna be three hours ahead, you're not going to wake up so late in the afternoon, and you really have as much time as possible. It's good advice. Get my brain set. Teachers do that. My friends who are teachers, they obviously they have all summer off, so they sleep in a week before they have to go back to school. They start setting their alarms earlier, earlier, so they're prepared with first so it's not like a sudden shock. And I'm so jet lacks. One of my best tip I have for both of you guys, as you need to allocate your maid of honor and your best man as the point of contact for all friends and family to spress Eddie like inventing too and not come to you. That needs to be set really really clear so that you guys have boundaries where you got to just focus on the two of you and you have like your your people handling everyone else. Yeah, well we're good with that because our wedding planner is going to probably deal with a lot of that as well, and he has been dealing a lot with that and everyone has his information. Yeah. Oh yeah, because my best man is my dad, and my dad is just you know, he's a dad. He gets very stressed and so son's getting married. Everybody needs to calm down. Not issue, but the whole texting I was talking to you about. It's like he's calling me every day talking about it like that. Yeah, and he's stressing. And my sister would be like, why are you asking me? Actually, I mean I was going to ask the lorn as your maid of honor? Yeah, yes, yeah, who's your best man? Your deaths so cute? Yeah yeah, I asked him that Christmas dinner. Um, that is funny to just imagine Ashley's sister and your father like they're going to watch right. But I was just saying for crystals. Thing like handling like everyone at all. Okay, so maybe someone else, like maybe it's the planner. But I will say that was the most stressful thing for Chris and I like the most was that everyone came to us to express like their frustrations and what they were stressed out about, and a lot of it was out of my control because it was through Yes, what frustrations were presented to you before the wedding travel well, because it was like for the show, so it was like really kind of last minute, like they didn't have their air for until like ten days before like they left, so everyone was really stressed out about that and dresses and food and just so many small things. And to be the person just receiving all the frustrations, it really stressed me out because I couldn't do anything about it. So I would just really and my maid of honor is amazing, but very neurotic, very stressful. Did the date of your wedding change last second? I didn't change last second, but we didn't have a definitive date until maybe like a week before. Like they're like, it's like ninety nine percent, but keep it open, and we're like, what I think I can talk about this. I don't. I don't think I'll get in trouble for this. But I remember being at Paradise this year and one of your friends who you who you are close with, kept saying their wedding is on this day, but this day came and passed, and now, like, what's going on? I don't I'm so confused. And it ended up being like two days after that or the day after that or something like that because you sent him to save the date, right, and then it just ended up being like a day after and so like everyone's expecting you guys to get married on this certain day. Yeah, that is confusing. As a guess if you're not you don't know anything that's happening, right, especially when we sent out to save the dates. Um, it was a correct date, I think, just in Paradise there's like, you don't know what day or a year it is, because there's so much that goes on in each day. So so it stayed that before we go I wanted to ask Dean a question because we're talking about weddings here, and I don't know if it was the same thing with you, But when we first started planning a wedding, I think both Ashley and I had this um moment we both thought should we do this? Is planning wedding something we should be doing? Because once you start looking at money and figures and all this stuff and how much stress comes with planning a wedding, I think the question is just naturally asked, should we be doing this or is this some sort of tradition that maybe we should start moving away from? And I know, Dean you have some thoughts about that, and I'm curious I thoughts too, but I want you go to first. I mean, I'm just I'm I'm anti getting married for the fact that everyone before est has gotten married, you know what I mean. It's like, just because people have done it since you know, the year two thousand BC or whatever, that we feel like we should be doing the same thing too. I get it, but there's just a lot of stuff that's like it's like a lot of these are like outdated ideas that I don't necessarily agree with. So I think what I in an ideal world, like, at least the way that I've viewed now is I think I would have a wedding ceremony, but I don't know that if I would, if I would go to the length of like having anything initially done, like all that kind of stuff. Crystal and I were talking about this like yesterday, Um, I said that because of my my sister and I've been to so many weddings and I know what I know what it's involved, I know what in what you need to do, and it's really stressful. So I have this idea where I'm like, well, I do want to get married. I don't want to have kids. I would love to just invite people over for dinner one night and they have no idea why they're coming over, like oh, we're having like a dinner at our in our backyard or whatever, and it's like, well, we're getting married today. Because that is also the stress for the it's stressful for guests, you know, like what dress am I going to wear? I have to put makeup on. I have to find this, I have to find that. So that would be something that would be so not traditional, um and so out of the ordinary for my family. Do you ever you ever hear that as zeasons are a bit where he goes, the first guy who ever thought of marriage must have been real weird. He goes, I love you so much. I want to get the government involved. It's like, well, and like there are It's funny actually because when Bachelorette came out and they published our pro files with like the ten questions and answers, one of the questions that they asked me was what are your thoughts on marriage? And I had a pretty controversial answer. I said, I think marriage is institutionalized cham derived from like religious and practical beliefs, because it kind of is like if you look back at marriage, it was I think it started out as and correct me if I'm wrong, if anyone knows this, but I think it started out as to farm families that wanted to combine their land. And so what they did was they had one son married with one daughter, and then they basically got all of their land and and it's just like that's how they grew their empire, and that's that's no longer a thing anymore. You know. Well some of its business tax purposes, yeah, I mean you can, yeah, And that's that's an appeal of that too. Well, you get like tax breaks, tax breaks, and then like once you have children too, it's like you want your child to be what so this whole spouse thag Yeah, yeah, you are in Canada, so I don't know, they might not apply to us. I don't know. There's just a lot of things that are wrong. I do want to say that I actually never thought I would get married because I had very similar beliefs to you, Deane. I just felt that if I'm committed to a person, I don't need to be the paper that that shows it. Um. But like when I met Chris, and like throughout the journey of our relationship, I really found someone that like I wanted to commit to and I wanted to do in a very public way where he just was my person. And it's like because of our relationship, I grew to trust, I grew to love myself more through loving him, I really discover a lot about myself. And I know, having been married one month now, our relationship has transformed since being married, and I think a lot from Chris. He's actually been so much more vulnerable and open with me and both of us, if you're familiar, we both grew up without our fathers, and so we didn't have that trust and that like found that solid foundation, that like of stability, and now that we are legally that to each other, it's actually really beautiful because we finally feel like we have this family that we choose to be together. And I think there's definitely a lot of there's obviously there's more good things than bad things, right, but like as a eternal skeptic as I am, I always try to find like the negatives of things. I'm a skeptic too, I get you. I think I was asking more to about the idea of having a big wedding, not only just marriage, about you know, you took two people becoming one, but the idea of planning this wedding. Yeah, because I think at both Ashley and I were having a lot of doubts when we first started doing it, because we were coming, you know, to a moment thinking do we want to spend as much money on a wedding? You know, we can put it down, people in the house, so on and so forth, and speaking to her parents UM about everything, because her parents have been great throughout this entire process and and they wanted to help UM a lot, and they they wanted this wedding as you know, as much as we did, because I think I've always envisioned getting married and having you know, the people that I love most there and a celebratory thing. And I like getting dressed up. I like the idea of putting a tux on and having you know, our our guests were gowns and things of that nature and kind of you know, having that UM a night where it's it's it's different, right, UM. But that costs money, and so I think it's just I go back and forth, especially now seeing everything come together, and it's wonderful and I'm more excited for the wedding than anybody. But I think seeing a lot of the figures and numbers that are being thrown out, it's like, was it was it worth it? And I think at the end of the day it will be. But to not have any type of down in the back of your head saying, man, should we have done something different with this money? Of course, you're gonna have that thought. I think for me specifically as it pertains to the ceremony itself, it would be like, if my wife or prospective life wants to have one, we'll have one. If she doesn't care, then probably want Can I ask you feel because you're an Ash's relationship is so highlighted and so public that there's a pressure to perform for the wedding because so many eyes are watching. Now that we decided to plan a wedding, yes, beforehand, no, because it was our choice, would ever we wanted to do, But now that it is, you know, such a public thing, Yeah, of course there's this. I think there's an element not only for us but for our wedding planner because it's gonna be so public, he wants to make it as perfect as possible. And um, that puts a lot of pressure on things because nobody wants to, you know, chints out. Nobody wants to cheap out on things. Um. But at the same time, you know, it's our decision. You know, it's at the end of the day, we have to do it's best for me and Ashley and our families. So um. But yeah, no, there's definitely been a little bit of pressure, saying like, I hope people especially coming to the wedding our guests, I think specifically for my friends, not so much like you know, bachelor people, because you guys kind of get it, but like, I think my friends and family have this idea of who we are as a couple and who we are as people, and like this quote unquote celebrity status we have. Um, I just hope that they don't get underwhelmed, you know, thinking like that kind of I guess pressure measure trip or form or whatever. Yeah, I just because so many people they just you know, I think they have a different idea of who we are, not in a not a bad way, but just in a way. You know, you're saying you don't want like your bachelor friends to be underwhelmed, not my bachelor friends friend your friends to be underwhelmed, or like think it should be grander than I just have no idea what they're expecting. But I know when I talked to them, I think, you know, they're always like, you know, yeah, it's hard to really articulate, but they see a picture of us with you know, you know, being able to like do some really cool things, right and meet some really cool people, and I don't want my friends to be like, oh yeah, that was that was cool. But it was a lot like on the weddings I've been to. I thought it was gonna be so much grander and that shouldn't be a concern of mine, but for some reason, I think it a little bit. It is. Okay. I want to give my last piece of advice for you, because I had gone through this with the show and a televised wedding, and I definitely felt pressure and those eyes and I haven't even seen it. I don't even know how it's gonna look. Um, So it's like impending beautiful ceremony. It's gonna look great, thank you. I mean, we can't talk too much about it, but the ceremony itself was god breathtaking. I can't wait to watch things so much. But at one point, like Chris and I, we just had to let go and we just had to let it unfold as it was going to. And it was like two days before we just completely surrendered it. And it's like, if things don't happen the way that we we think they're going to, that's fine. We're just gonna let We're just gonna let it go. We just let go and we just surrendered into it. And because of that, like the day of the wedding, like we did. When I did that walk, it was the most calm I had been throughout the entire process, Like when I walked down the aisle and just standing there with Chris and everything before that and all the stresses and even all the people and my neurotic made of honor, like none of that, It's just matter because it all out to this moment. So when you show up to Rhode Island, give it a day to get it out, jump in the in the water, and then just like let it go and remember like everyone's here to celebrate you. Guys, this is your moment, your day. Don't worry about other people's expectations. Yeah I won't be during this. They're showing up just to celebrate you, So just hold that close to your heart. I am very excited for that moment, for like from the moment I get to the altar, because I guess I'll be the first person there, and I'm very excited for that moment because like it would be cool just like I've been in you know, the place the church, we're getting married in so many times now that it would be cool to go into it now where it's full of just the people I love, you know, because that's gonna be because every time I walk in, it's just empty, and it's like, Okay, yeah, this is where everybody's been sitting, and then they'll be standing, will be there, Papa, bappah bah. And then like there's gonna be a moment very soon where I walk in it's gonna be full and like everybodys gonna be looking at me and it's holy sh it, we're gonna get married. And then to see like, you know, everybody start walking down the aisle and the grundsman and uh and then obviously see the doors open up and see Ashley standing there with your dad is uh. That's when I think I'm most excited about. You're gonna cry so much. Are you doing a first look? Oh? Yeah? Oh? And uh no, no first look. Um. The first time I will see Ashley in her dress is when her dad is walking arou down the aisle, which I'm very excited about, counting down, counting down the days. It's coming very soon. But that will put an end to our podcast today, Chrystal, thank you so much for coming on. In the end, thank you for the advice. I will certainly be taking you to her and thinking about it, and I will certainly try not to stress on the day of and I don't think Ashley will either. And we got to watch your wedding in a couple of weeks too on National Toble then Sane, I can't wait. Do you look beautiful? To Chris look great, You look beautiful. It was awesome to to be there, so thank you for having us um and thank you Dean Vanessa for being in studio. Thumbs up from Dean. I had fun on this podcast. We just kind of rambled. Yeah, I love it. I love that too, talked about Ron all the great stuff in life. Really, Tori, you are a trooper as always us. Always a shoutout Tory. She's just killing the game. Her a the love and make sure you tune in next week, where hopefully we all suck a little less. Follow hell by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast