And so if you're still experiencing what you think is grief, I'm here to tell you it's not grief anymore. Now it's self inflicting, self deprecating depression. And that is Oh, here comes the worst part about this. That is narcissism.

And so if you're still experiencing what you think is grief, I'm here to tell you it's not grief anymore. Now it's self inflicting, self deprecating depression. And that is Oh, here comes the worst part about this. That is narcissism.

What's up, guys, Welcome to the podcast.

What's up, guys, Welcome to the podcast.

Thanks for being here, watching, listening wherever you're coming from Episode to twenty seven. Thank you for everyone that has taken this journey for so long with me. I believe this podcast started in twenty seventeen, so we're looking at as real time right now, we're looking at about seven years of this. So man, I love you guys, and I love the opportunity to just real talk. No edits, no clicks, no notes, no quotes in front of me, no books that I'm discussing here, just answering your questions. If you have one for me, email podcast at grangersmith dot com. We'll walk through it like we're sitting around a campfire. This first question comes from Morgan. It says, Hey, Granger, I love listening to the podcast. I'm twenty one years old, I'm from Tennessee, and I am starting to realize a reoccurring thought of a guy that I no longer talk to. In the beginning, I was relieved that the situation was over and did not think much of it. It has been at least five months now. However, the past month or so he has come to mind often. I realize it is something I need to take to God and ask him about. As I do, I'd love to hear your take on it. Normally, if someone comes to mind, I'll pray for them and reach out to them if i'm thinking about them. I have done both. He did not respond when I reached out. He is still a thought in the back of my mind, and I'm so confused about it. There is such great vice, great advice in each episode, and I hope to hear back on this topic. Thank you all right kicking it off with Morgan, I appreciate you, And look, I'm not always right on this stuff. I'd just like to answer like we're two friends. Maybe we're sitting sitting in the cap of a truck or sitting sitting around a campfire, and we talk through this, and so I hear these questions for the first time, and there's not always.

Thanks for being here, watching, listening wherever you're coming from Episode to twenty seven. Thank you for everyone that has taken this journey for so long with me. I believe this podcast started in twenty seventeen, so we're looking at as real time right now, we're looking at about seven years of this. So man, I love you guys, and I love the opportunity to just real talk. No edits, no clicks, no notes, no quotes in front of me, no books that I'm discussing here, just answering your questions. If you have one for me, email podcast at grangersmith dot com. We'll walk through it like we're sitting around a campfire. This first question comes from Morgan. It says, Hey, Granger, I love listening to the podcast. I'm twenty one years old, I'm from Tennessee, and I am starting to realize a reoccurring thought of a guy that I no longer talk to. In the beginning, I was relieved that the situation was over and did not think much of it. It has been at least five months now. However, the past month or so he has come to mind often. I realize it is something I need to take to God and ask him about. As I do, I'd love to hear your take on it. Normally, if someone comes to mind, I'll pray for them and reach out to them if i'm thinking about them. I have done both. He did not respond when I reached out. He is still a thought in the back of my mind, and I'm so confused about it. There is such great vice, great advice in each episode, and I hope to hear back on this topic. Thank you all right kicking it off with Morgan, I appreciate you, And look, I'm not always right on this stuff. I'd just like to answer like we're two friends. Maybe we're sitting sitting in the cap of a truck or sitting sitting around a campfire, and we talk through this, and so I hear these questions for the first time, and there's not always.

The right answer.

The right answer.

Except for you, except for this one. Morgan, you got look the guy says, the guy is gone, right, and you reach out to him and he doesn't respond. That is enough. That is an answer in itself. He might not have responded with words, but he responded clearly with no words. And it means I don't want to talk. For whatever reason, I've moved on, I don't. I don't want to talk or have anything to.

Except for you, except for this one. Morgan, you got look the guy says, the guy is gone, right, and you reach out to him and he doesn't respond. That is enough. That is an answer in itself. He might not have responded with words, but he responded clearly with no words. And it means I don't want to talk. For whatever reason, I've moved on, I don't. I don't want to talk or have anything to.

Do with you.

Do with you.

You're twenty one, You're from Tennessee, and you say all you say, right, is there is a guy I no longer talk to. I think that's all we know about this guy. But look, Morgan, this is, first of all, it's normal. Let's acknowledge this. This is a normal feeling that you're having. And when he doesn't reply, it also triggers something in your mind that it kind of thinks, what why is he not replying?

You're twenty one, You're from Tennessee, and you say all you say, right, is there is a guy I no longer talk to. I think that's all we know about this guy. But look, Morgan, this is, first of all, it's normal. Let's acknowledge this. This is a normal feeling that you're having. And when he doesn't reply, it also triggers something in your mind that it kind of thinks, what why is he not replying?

Is he hurt? Is he injured?

Is he hurt? Is he injured?

Did he get in a car accident? And he's he's ran off a cliff and no one knows where he is. And if I, if I find him, then you know that maybe I'll be the one to be able to rescue him. No, that's not what this is. He doesn't want to talk to you.

Did he get in a car accident? And he's he's ran off a cliff and no one knows where he is. And if I, if I find him, then you know that maybe I'll be the one to be able to rescue him. No, that's not what this is. He doesn't want to talk to you.

Anymore.

Anymore.

And look, you say, I'll pray. I've been praying, and I need to take this to God. Look you're getting in a clear answer from God and everyone else.

And look, you say, I'll pray. I've been praying, and I need to take this to God. Look you're getting in a clear answer from God and everyone else.

That the guy's moved on, so you should too.

That the guy's moved on, so you should too.

Next question comes from Anonymous, and it says, hey, Granger, I lost my twenty one year old son on December fourteenth of last year. It was unexpected, and we put him to bed and he never woke up. I have two other children, a three year old daughter and a seven month old baby. My fear is that I won't ever be able to have joy with my other children ever again. All I see is him not being there. How do I balance the pain of losing my two year old with making new memories with my other children?

Next question comes from Anonymous, and it says, hey, Granger, I lost my twenty one year old son on December fourteenth of last year. It was unexpected, and we put him to bed and he never woke up. I have two other children, a three year old daughter and a seven month old baby. My fear is that I won't ever be able to have joy with my other children ever again. All I see is him not being there. How do I balance the pain of losing my two year old with making new memories with my other children?

Also? Does this pain ever subside? Thank you all right, Anonymous.

Also? Does this pain ever subside? Thank you all right, Anonymous.

I'm so sorry, and unfortunately I could I know this and I could relate. The first thing I would say is we're going to answer kind of your question in parts here. And your first question is how do I balance losing my two year old with making new memories with my other children? Well, that's the answer to that question is. First of all, you don't you're not trying to plan next year. You're not trying to plan five years from now. You're not You're not trying to get a ten year plan. You're not trying to figure out when you're gonna go to Disney World when they're preteens. All you have to do is work on today. And the reason I say that is because pain comes in waves, and sometimes you're going to feel okay. And on those days, you have a three year old daughter and a seven month old baby. On those days, you'd be as present as you can with them, and when you get you get down on the carpet, you know, in their room and their bedroom, and you get lost with your three year old and you start having conversations with her, and sure you might break up and start crying a little bit, and it's okay for her to see you crying, and you could say I miss your little brother, and that's okay. And then other days you might not bring it up at all because it doesn't it doesn't cross your mind to tell her that.

I'm so sorry, and unfortunately I could I know this and I could relate. The first thing I would say is we're going to answer kind of your question in parts here. And your first question is how do I balance losing my two year old with making new memories with my other children? Well, that's the answer to that question is. First of all, you don't you're not trying to plan next year. You're not trying to plan five years from now. You're not You're not trying to get a ten year plan. You're not trying to figure out when you're gonna go to Disney World when they're preteens. All you have to do is work on today. And the reason I say that is because pain comes in waves, and sometimes you're going to feel okay. And on those days, you have a three year old daughter and a seven month old baby. On those days, you'd be as present as you can with them, and when you get you get down on the carpet, you know, in their room and their bedroom, and you get lost with your three year old and you start having conversations with her, and sure you might break up and start crying a little bit, and it's okay for her to see you crying, and you could say I miss your little brother, and that's okay. And then other days you might not bring it up at all because it doesn't it doesn't cross your mind to tell her that.

And so my point is if you if you work.

And so my point is if you if you work.

Day by day instead of week by week or year by year, you just work day by day and sometimes just hour by hour, then I promise you the days will go by and you'll start collecting good days along with the bad ones. The problem is, what you'll realize is that sometimes you'll be laughing with your kids and there's a thought, an evil thought, that comes in your head that says, how dare you laugh with these kids when they lost a sibling and you lost a son. And I want to tell you right now, Anonymous, that that is that feeling is the enemy. It is a lie, and it is here to steal your joy. And so you reject that thought, and he say, no, no, I me having joy and laughing with my kids does not compete against the grief of losing my son. They can coexist at the same time. And listen, I don't have to convince you that you could probably already think back as you listen to this podcast of many times when that's already happened, when you've you've felt joy and you laugh genuine I mean, three year olds are kids you want to laugh all the time. They say funny things, they do funny things. And I'm sure you have seen your daughter say or do something funny and you've smiled, and whether or not you felt guilty about it, I want to tell you that that smile can coexist with the grief of losing your son. They could both exist.

Day by day instead of week by week or year by year, you just work day by day and sometimes just hour by hour, then I promise you the days will go by and you'll start collecting good days along with the bad ones. The problem is, what you'll realize is that sometimes you'll be laughing with your kids and there's a thought, an evil thought, that comes in your head that says, how dare you laugh with these kids when they lost a sibling and you lost a son. And I want to tell you right now, Anonymous, that that is that feeling is the enemy. It is a lie, and it is here to steal your joy. And so you reject that thought, and he say, no, no, I me having joy and laughing with my kids does not compete against the grief of losing my son. They can coexist at the same time. And listen, I don't have to convince you that you could probably already think back as you listen to this podcast of many times when that's already happened, when you've you've felt joy and you laugh genuine I mean, three year olds are kids you want to laugh all the time. They say funny things, they do funny things. And I'm sure you have seen your daughter say or do something funny and you've smiled, and whether or not you felt guilty about it, I want to tell you that that smile can coexist with the grief of losing your son. They could both exist.

In your mind.

In your mind.

There's no reason why you should feel guilty about that. And then the last question is for you, does the pain ever subside? And the answer is absolutely yes. There might be people that tell you no, I've heard those people and I still hear those people. They say, losing a child is a loss, it's a pain that never goes away. Well to those people, I will say, there's a problem. If you truly believe, and it has been maybe decades and I've heard this, that the pain of losing a child never subsides, then there's something else wrong because you're now past you're past the appropriate time to grieve, and now you're in self deprecation mode and you're in depression grief just like you know, you get.

There's no reason why you should feel guilty about that. And then the last question is for you, does the pain ever subside? And the answer is absolutely yes. There might be people that tell you no, I've heard those people and I still hear those people. They say, losing a child is a loss, it's a pain that never goes away. Well to those people, I will say, there's a problem. If you truly believe, and it has been maybe decades and I've heard this, that the pain of losing a child never subsides, then there's something else wrong because you're now past you're past the appropriate time to grieve, and now you're in self deprecation mode and you're in depression grief just like you know, you get.

The flu, right and you.

The flu, right and you.

Cough, and you have this bacterial infection in your lungs with the flu, and then that can turn into pneumonia. Pneumonia is not the flu, but as the flu lingered too long, it manifested into pneumonia. And grief and loss can manifest into depression if it's not dealt with correctly and So if you're still experiencing what you think is grief, I'm here to tell you it's not grief anymore.

Cough, and you have this bacterial infection in your lungs with the flu, and then that can turn into pneumonia. Pneumonia is not the flu, but as the flu lingered too long, it manifested into pneumonia. And grief and loss can manifest into depression if it's not dealt with correctly and So if you're still experiencing what you think is grief, I'm here to tell you it's not grief anymore.

Now.

Now.

It's self inflicting, self deprecating depression. And that is oh, here here comes the worst part about this. That is narcissism. And it's like, whoa hold, what do you say? Did you say that my self deprecation and my depression from losing a loved one is narcissism? I'm saying it could become that yet, because it could become where all you think about is yourself, not in a good way, but in a bad way. All you think is poor me, poor me, because of this. I don't have this because of that, I have missing out on this. My life is not the way it should have been because of this. And what that is is just me, me, me, me me. It's narcissism. That's what it becomes. So let me answer the question. Finally, does the pain ever subside? Absolutely?

It's self inflicting, self deprecating depression. And that is oh, here here comes the worst part about this. That is narcissism. And it's like, whoa hold, what do you say? Did you say that my self deprecation and my depression from losing a loved one is narcissism? I'm saying it could become that yet, because it could become where all you think about is yourself, not in a good way, but in a bad way. All you think is poor me, poor me, because of this. I don't have this because of that, I have missing out on this. My life is not the way it should have been because of this. And what that is is just me, me, me, me me. It's narcissism. That's what it becomes. So let me answer the question. Finally, does the pain ever subside? Absolutely?

It does. The memory and.

It does. The memory and.

The love and this sting from the loss itself exist as you move forward with it, and it becomes less and less painful as you look back on it. That's a healthy way of moving forward with that loved one.

The love and this sting from the loss itself exist as you move forward with it, and it becomes less and less painful as you look back on it. That's a healthy way of moving forward with that loved one.

Right.

Right.

So you don't do that by forgetting them. You don't do that by wishing them away or carrying with them like they're like they're an idol and a shrine. You don't do it either of those ways. But if you could work away where you're remaining present, playing with your other kids, living moment to moment with those kids, finding joy in those moments with those kids, then you'll notice the seconds go by, the minutes go by, hours, the days, the weeks, the months, and then the years. And you collect enough years and you look back and you go, I don't hurt as bad. I still remember, and I still feel, and I still have moments, but it's not all sad anymore. In fact, now when I look back at my son, I'm talking to you, anonymous, you'll smile more than you cry. You could do this, and that's a healthy way to grieve, it is. Next question comes from Elizabeth hey Gringer. My name is Elizabeth. I'm thirty five. My husband and I recently found out that someone who we have been close friends with was a registered sex offender. Not only have we become friends with the person, but our son has also become closer friends with this person's son as well. This person has served their time and I'm told they no longer are on the registry. However, it has changed the dynamic of our friendship. We are believers and so this yes, and so is this person. We completely believe in redemption and that God can change hearts and can take people out of bondage. But are we wrong for setting boundaries for our family based on what we are comfortable with. We are praying for God's wisdom as we move forward in our friends and in our friends with this person and the rest of the family. Thanks for your time. We love your music into preaching. Thanks Elizabeth. Yeah, that's a great question, Elizabeth. Thank you for asking it and bringing up a you know, an interesting topic. And we've said this before in this podcast, but there we know that there's a difference between forgiveness and love and how God changes hearts. There's a difference between those things, and then there's a separation in trust, right because we trust is earned and we have to be responsible with who we give it to. We can give freely our forgiveness, and we can give freely our love, but but trust we give limited amounts of as it's earned, and that that would be my advice to you is when you're if it was just you and you're you're hanging out with this person, that's one thing maybe, but with your children involved, it becomes it becomes difficult. And now your obligation to protect your children and prepare them for the world is now greater than the desire to make friends and keep them. You're gonna have to You're gonna have to wrestle with that because those two priorities. Being friends with someone, being loving, being a good neighbor is not equal to I need to also protect my child from a registered sex offender or an unregistered sex offender, even if they seem recovered. The protecting your child from possible danger is greater than your trust of a neighbor. Not your love, not your forgiveness, that's different, but your trust of that neighbor. So you're gonna have to have great discernment. And I think it's absolutely right that you're setting boundaries. I think that's part of your question, and I think you're absolutely right, and there would be no objection from the Smith family if that was the situation we saw. Next question comes from Kurt, and it says, dear Granger, I sent this question for I sent in this question good paying job versus ministry position that y'all answered in episode two to two, and that got me really emotional. I remember that was with Bernie, and Kert goes on to say, I just want to say thank you for all your advice and your insights, and I apologize for getting Bernie choked up, but thank you for not cutting and for that raw emotion and his heart.

So you don't do that by forgetting them. You don't do that by wishing them away or carrying with them like they're like they're an idol and a shrine. You don't do it either of those ways. But if you could work away where you're remaining present, playing with your other kids, living moment to moment with those kids, finding joy in those moments with those kids, then you'll notice the seconds go by, the minutes go by, hours, the days, the weeks, the months, and then the years. And you collect enough years and you look back and you go, I don't hurt as bad. I still remember, and I still feel, and I still have moments, but it's not all sad anymore. In fact, now when I look back at my son, I'm talking to you, anonymous, you'll smile more than you cry. You could do this, and that's a healthy way to grieve, it is. Next question comes from Elizabeth hey Gringer. My name is Elizabeth. I'm thirty five. My husband and I recently found out that someone who we have been close friends with was a registered sex offender. Not only have we become friends with the person, but our son has also become closer friends with this person's son as well. This person has served their time and I'm told they no longer are on the registry. However, it has changed the dynamic of our friendship. We are believers and so this yes, and so is this person. We completely believe in redemption and that God can change hearts and can take people out of bondage. But are we wrong for setting boundaries for our family based on what we are comfortable with. We are praying for God's wisdom as we move forward in our friends and in our friends with this person and the rest of the family. Thanks for your time. We love your music into preaching. Thanks Elizabeth. Yeah, that's a great question, Elizabeth. Thank you for asking it and bringing up a you know, an interesting topic. And we've said this before in this podcast, but there we know that there's a difference between forgiveness and love and how God changes hearts. There's a difference between those things, and then there's a separation in trust, right because we trust is earned and we have to be responsible with who we give it to. We can give freely our forgiveness, and we can give freely our love, but but trust we give limited amounts of as it's earned, and that that would be my advice to you is when you're if it was just you and you're you're hanging out with this person, that's one thing maybe, but with your children involved, it becomes it becomes difficult. And now your obligation to protect your children and prepare them for the world is now greater than the desire to make friends and keep them. You're gonna have to You're gonna have to wrestle with that because those two priorities. Being friends with someone, being loving, being a good neighbor is not equal to I need to also protect my child from a registered sex offender or an unregistered sex offender, even if they seem recovered. The protecting your child from possible danger is greater than your trust of a neighbor. Not your love, not your forgiveness, that's different, but your trust of that neighbor. So you're gonna have to have great discernment. And I think it's absolutely right that you're setting boundaries. I think that's part of your question, and I think you're absolutely right, and there would be no objection from the Smith family if that was the situation we saw. Next question comes from Kurt, and it says, dear Granger, I sent this question for I sent in this question good paying job versus ministry position that y'all answered in episode two to two, and that got me really emotional. I remember that was with Bernie, and Kert goes on to say, I just want to say thank you for all your advice and your insights, and I apologize for getting Bernie choked up, but thank you for not cutting and for that raw emotion and his heart.

It really moved me.

It really moved me.

I truly believe that I'm I am an ambassador for Christ and whatever area I work, So thank you for that word, Granger. I walked away from the podcast feeling convicted, as my prayer life has not been consistent and is an area of my life that I.

I truly believe that I'm I am an ambassador for Christ and whatever area I work, So thank you for that word, Granger. I walked away from the podcast feeling convicted, as my prayer life has not been consistent and is an area of my life that I.

Want to grow in.

Want to grow in.

So that's great getting a getting a follow up to a question that was That was an impactful podcast episode two twenty two because Bernie, who's a regular guest on here, got really emotional, so much so that he couldn't speak anymore. And that's the first time I've seen it in all these episodes, the first time I've seen a guest or me get so choked.

So that's great getting a getting a follow up to a question that was That was an impactful podcast episode two twenty two because Bernie, who's a regular guest on here, got really emotional, so much so that he couldn't speak anymore. And that's the first time I've seen it in all these episodes, the first time I've seen a guest or me get so choked.

Up that they could not speak anymore.

Up that they could not speak anymore.

So Kurt I'm glad you heard that, and I'm glad that you reached back out that it means a lot to me.

So Kurt I'm glad you heard that, and I'm glad that you reached back out that it means a lot to me.

Let's hit another question here.

Let's hit another question here.

A question says, Hey, Granger, I emailed about a month ago about me and this girl. We recently split our separate ways, but this has taken me. Our relationship was something else, so it's very rough to part ways with someone I have found so special. I need some tips on how to get out of this dark place. I'm trying to follow your email. This comes from Carter from the state of Wisconsin.

A question says, Hey, Granger, I emailed about a month ago about me and this girl. We recently split our separate ways, but this has taken me. Our relationship was something else, so it's very rough to part ways with someone I have found so special. I need some tips on how to get out of this dark place. I'm trying to follow your email. This comes from Carter from the state of Wisconsin.

He says, so.

He says, so.

Recently split up with this girl and you said our relationship with something else, So it's very rough to part ways with someone that I found so special, and I need some tips on how to get out of this dark place.

Recently split up with this girl and you said our relationship with something else, So it's very rough to part ways with someone that I found so special, and I need some tips on how to get out of this dark place.

Okay, first tip is.

Okay, first tip is.

Yeah, it feels like we haven't done this in a while, but my first tip is block her on everything. Block her on Instagram and Facebook and anything else you're following her on and on your phone.

Yeah, it feels like we haven't done this in a while, but my first tip is block her on everything. Block her on Instagram and Facebook and anything else you're following her on and on your phone.

Block her on your phone.

Block her on your phone.

If the relationship is truly done, which it's come on, it sounds like it is. You don't want to see her, You don't want to see her pop up on your feed saying something or messaging you in a week time, knowing that it's just going to end up going back the way that it was, and to protect your heart in this kind of situation, it's necessary. It might seem rude. If you feel better about it, probably wouldn't reckon in this. But if you feel better about it, message her, text her and say just to let you know, I'm going to block you on everything and it's not personal. I just need to move on and not seeing you will help with that, and then blocker before she could reply blocker. If you feel convicted enough to do it. I probably wouldn't even recommend that. I wouldn't even do it myself. I would just go ahead and block her on everything and she'll know eventually it's not personal. But that's the first step in your healing. Is you don't want to see her. I don't know your situation. I don't know if you see her every day. I don't know if you see I don't know if you work with her or see her in your small town. But I would I would let that time go by and just know that the time as.

If the relationship is truly done, which it's come on, it sounds like it is. You don't want to see her, You don't want to see her pop up on your feed saying something or messaging you in a week time, knowing that it's just going to end up going back the way that it was, and to protect your heart in this kind of situation, it's necessary. It might seem rude. If you feel better about it, probably wouldn't reckon in this. But if you feel better about it, message her, text her and say just to let you know, I'm going to block you on everything and it's not personal. I just need to move on and not seeing you will help with that, and then blocker before she could reply blocker. If you feel convicted enough to do it. I probably wouldn't even recommend that. I wouldn't even do it myself. I would just go ahead and block her on everything and she'll know eventually it's not personal. But that's the first step in your healing. Is you don't want to see her. I don't know your situation. I don't know if you see her every day. I don't know if you see I don't know if you work with her or see her in your small town. But I would I would let that time go by and just know that the time as.

It rolls, as it ticks on, you'll get better. And you'll get better.

It rolls, as it ticks on, you'll get better. And you'll get better.

I promise you, Carter, time will heal In this scenario. You can't always say that, can't always just go yeah, time heels. But in this situation, if you block her out of sight, out of mind, out of heart, time goes by.

I promise you, Carter, time will heal In this scenario. You can't always say that, can't always just go yeah, time heels. But in this situation, if you block her out of sight, out of mind, out of heart, time goes by.

And you'll get better. I promise.

And you'll get better. I promise.

It was a long time ago that I started grangersmith dot com. Since that website launched into the world was in two thousand and two, twenty two years. First of all, could we just think for a second how crazy it is that two thousand and two was twenty two years ago. Well, since then, that website has evolved so much. I remember when we first started selling a T shirt that was probably two thousand and five. Music was probably four, and things really didn't start picking up at all until maybe two thousand and six, and I was still just selling it right out of my house, coming out of the cabinets in my kitchen.

It was a long time ago that I started grangersmith dot com. Since that website launched into the world was in two thousand and two, twenty two years. First of all, could we just think for a second how crazy it is that two thousand and two was twenty two years ago. Well, since then, that website has evolved so much. I remember when we first started selling a T shirt that was probably two thousand and five. Music was probably four, and things really didn't start picking up at all until maybe two thousand and six, and I was still just selling it right out of my house, coming out of the cabinets in my kitchen.

My mom was helping me.

My mom was helping me.

It's crazy to think that back then I had no vision. I hoped, I had expectation, but I had no vision for what that online store would become.

It's crazy to think that back then I had no vision. I hoped, I had expectation, but I had no vision for what that online store would become.

And it became ee dot com.

And it became ee dot com.

Now, when you're creative and you're making creative things you don't think so much about the technology behind it. And that's where Shopify came in and really really helped our company grow from those early days in the kitchen to now having the ee farm. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you at every single stage of your business. And it doesn't matter what that business is, whether you're selling scented soap or outdoor apparel like EEE. Shopify helps you sell everywhere, from their all in one e commerce platform to their in person POS system. Wherever or whatever you're selling.

Now, when you're creative and you're making creative things you don't think so much about the technology behind it. And that's where Shopify came in and really really helped our company grow from those early days in the kitchen to now having the ee farm. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you at every single stage of your business. And it doesn't matter what that business is, whether you're selling scented soap or outdoor apparel like EEE. Shopify helps you sell everywhere, from their all in one e commerce platform to their in person POS system. Wherever or whatever you're selling.

Shopify has got you covered.

Shopify has got you covered.

They do all the behind the scenes stuff that take it all out of your hands so you could do what you do best and be creative and come up with the product. And meanwhile they're turning browsers into buyers. With the internet's best converting checkout thirty six percent better on average compared to other leading commerce platforms. You could sell more with less effort thanks to shopify Magic, your AI powered all star at all stages of growth, from the kitchen to the EEE farm, Shopify is there for you. Shopify powers ten percent of all e commerce in the US and Shopifies the global force behind all birds rothis Broke, lennen Eee, and millions of other entrepreneurs of every size across one hundred and seventy five countries plus Shopify as award winning help is there to support your success every step of the way, because businesses that grow grow as Shopify sign up for a one dollar per month trial period at shopify dot com slash granger all lowercase. Go to shopify dot com slash granger now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in shopify dot com slash granger. If you want to get a hold of me, maybe a video message. You know, you know I could do that. People all the time are like, hey, can you send me a video message? I'm like, I got an easy thing for you to do. Go to cameo dot com. That's cam Eo Cameo dot com slash granger Smith or just search for me on that website or the app, and I'll suit you a video message based on what you tell me to do. So it's like, hey, Granger, can you please tell my brother in law happy birthday. He's a fan of you, and make fun of him a little bit because he's a bad fisherman.

They do all the behind the scenes stuff that take it all out of your hands so you could do what you do best and be creative and come up with the product. And meanwhile they're turning browsers into buyers. With the internet's best converting checkout thirty six percent better on average compared to other leading commerce platforms. You could sell more with less effort thanks to shopify Magic, your AI powered all star at all stages of growth, from the kitchen to the EEE farm, Shopify is there for you. Shopify powers ten percent of all e commerce in the US and Shopifies the global force behind all birds rothis Broke, lennen Eee, and millions of other entrepreneurs of every size across one hundred and seventy five countries plus Shopify as award winning help is there to support your success every step of the way, because businesses that grow grow as Shopify sign up for a one dollar per month trial period at shopify dot com slash granger all lowercase. Go to shopify dot com slash granger now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in shopify dot com slash granger. If you want to get a hold of me, maybe a video message. You know, you know I could do that. People all the time are like, hey, can you send me a video message? I'm like, I got an easy thing for you to do. Go to cameo dot com. That's cam Eo Cameo dot com slash granger Smith or just search for me on that website or the app, and I'll suit you a video message based on what you tell me to do. So it's like, hey, Granger, can you please tell my brother in law happy birthday. He's a fan of you, and make fun of him a little bit because he's a bad fisherman.

And I read that and I'm.

And I read that and I'm.

Like cool, I get off my phone, turn on the camera and it's like, Hey, John, your brother in law wanted me to give you a shout.

Like cool, I get off my phone, turn on the camera and it's like, Hey, John, your brother in law wanted me to give you a shout.

I know it's your birthday.

I know it's your birthday.

One of these days I need to give you a phishing lesson whatever it might be, Hey, any kind of occasion. The message could be you two, but I will send you that straight from my phone. Just go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. Next question comes from Justin. It says, Hey Granger, I'm justin IM from Athens, Alabama.

One of these days I need to give you a phishing lesson whatever it might be, Hey, any kind of occasion. The message could be you two, but I will send you that straight from my phone. Just go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. Next question comes from Justin. It says, Hey Granger, I'm justin IM from Athens, Alabama.

I like a woman that is in jail a lot due to drugs.

I like a woman that is in jail a lot due to drugs.

My friends tell me to leave her alone, and I want to, but my heart tells me that I need to stick around and help her because she obviously doesn't have the friends that she needs and I want to be there for her.

My friends tell me to leave her alone, and I want to, but my heart tells me that I need to stick around and help her because she obviously doesn't have the friends that she needs and I want to be there for her.

Please give me some advice.

Please give me some advice.

And if I do read this, if you do read this email, I want to thank you for your time. Christ Is King and yee please come back to northern Alabama all right. Justin appreciate you, buddy. Thank you so much for emailing. And you know this answer is not difficult to give, but difficult to hear. This girl is not right for you. And I'll tell you why. In a romantic relationship, you are looking for a life partner that is going to partner with you. I mean, you said, christ Is King, You're going you want a life partner that's going to be your ministry partner in life, that's going to be your your your partner with raising kids.

And if I do read this, if you do read this email, I want to thank you for your time. Christ Is King and yee please come back to northern Alabama all right. Justin appreciate you, buddy. Thank you so much for emailing. And you know this answer is not difficult to give, but difficult to hear. This girl is not right for you. And I'll tell you why. In a romantic relationship, you are looking for a life partner that is going to partner with you. I mean, you said, christ Is King, You're going you want a life partner that's going to be your ministry partner in life, that's going to be your your your partner with raising kids.

You want to see eye to.

You want to see eye to.

Eye on on schools and and issues that come with raising kids and jobs and finances. You need someone you can lean on, someone you could trust, someone that in good times and tough times and joyful times, she's steady right, as steady as she should be. And that's not this girl. And the problem is, really there's a difference between you're looking for a life partner that's going to you're looking for a job applicant that's going to be your assistant, your assistant manager of your household, right, And so to look for an assistant manager of your household, you don't go after drug addicts that go to jail. That would never happen if you were running a company and you're looking like I'm looking for an assistant manager to help run this facility, then somebody says, hey, have you checked the jail. Have you looked at anyone in and out of jail doing drugs, you'd say you look at them like they're crazy. But because she's probably cute and you like her because she's pretty and you get along with her, you see her as a project and you're getting rewarded when you feel like you're helping this project.

Eye on on schools and and issues that come with raising kids and jobs and finances. You need someone you can lean on, someone you could trust, someone that in good times and tough times and joyful times, she's steady right, as steady as she should be. And that's not this girl. And the problem is, really there's a difference between you're looking for a life partner that's going to you're looking for a job applicant that's going to be your assistant, your assistant manager of your household, right, And so to look for an assistant manager of your household, you don't go after drug addicts that go to jail. That would never happen if you were running a company and you're looking like I'm looking for an assistant manager to help run this facility, then somebody says, hey, have you checked the jail. Have you looked at anyone in and out of jail doing drugs, you'd say you look at them like they're crazy. But because she's probably cute and you like her because she's pretty and you get along with her, you see her as a project and you're getting rewarded when you feel like you're helping this project.

So the problem.

So the problem.

Is that in a in a friend situation, this sounds like a great opportunity to help a friend and to help revitalize them and help help show them how to move forward in life and to to get off these drugs and to stay out of jail. That's that's a good project. But not for your your co manager, not for your life partner, right, So you got to and because of that, and because you have an emotional attraction to her, you got to cut this off. And it's really tough because you'll you'll immediately start thinking that if you cut her off, she's going to get worse and she's gonna go off the deep end. And the hard reality is that's not your problem in that way, because it is your problem if you're if you're trying to help recover a friend, but you're also trying to find find the mother of your children.

Is that in a in a friend situation, this sounds like a great opportunity to help a friend and to help revitalize them and help help show them how to move forward in life and to to get off these drugs and to stay out of jail. That's that's a good project. But not for your your co manager, not for your life partner, right, So you got to and because of that, and because you have an emotional attraction to her, you got to cut this off. And it's really tough because you'll you'll immediately start thinking that if you cut her off, she's going to get worse and she's gonna go off the deep end. And the hard reality is that's not your problem in that way, because it is your problem if you're if you're trying to help recover a friend, but you're also trying to find find the mother of your children.

So you see the problem.

So you see the problem.

That's why it's not your problem, because you're looking for the mother of your future children, Lord Willing, and you don't want a drug addict in and out of jail. So you're getting this dopamine kick by helping her, and it feels good.

That's why it's not your problem, because you're looking for the mother of your future children, Lord Willing, and you don't want a drug addict in and out of jail. So you're getting this dopamine kick by helping her, and it feels good.

And and she's like, oh.

And and she's like, oh.

You're no one else cares about me, and no one else speaks to me or or does the things that you do for me. I don't have anybody in my life like you, so thank you so much. And you think, wow, this is I'm a hero. Like here I come night on the white Horse, save in the day and it feels good. All of us like the puffer chick stuff a little bit and go, yeah, this is good. I feel really great about this. But not for the future mother of your children. You got to break this off, justin you have to break this off.

You're no one else cares about me, and no one else speaks to me or or does the things that you do for me. I don't have anybody in my life like you, so thank you so much. And you think, wow, this is I'm a hero. Like here I come night on the white Horse, save in the day and it feels good. All of us like the puffer chick stuff a little bit and go, yeah, this is good. I feel really great about this. But not for the future mother of your children. You got to break this off, justin you have to break this off.

Next question.

Next question.

Sub decline is patience says hey Granger, and my name is Jackie, and I am having a really difficult time lately, and I have no one to turn to. I'm thirty five years old, I have three kids that live at home, which I homeschool. I'm married to a long haul truck driver who is home on the average of three to four days a month. I have minimal friends, all that live in either other states as we've all moved a bunch, and I do not have many close relationships with any of my family members. To say that I'm overwhelmed, lonely, and incredib burnout is an understatement of the century. The last couple of years, I have found peace, joy, and religion through gardening and reconnecting with the earth. As for the last year, I've had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to go home, and this feeling of just knowing that we are supposed to buy land and start our own farm, finally get my husband off the road, and then back with our family. But my husband feels the same way. However, It's been one thing after another preventing us from getting started on that path. It just feels like every path through our future is blocked and I'm not sure what to do. What I'm really struggling with is this calling to go home and knowing that that call is coming from my God, but not understanding the path to get there. How could you know wholeheartedly what your God wants from you, but have the patience to wait for the right path to show itself, especially when you are incredibly miserable in the life you're currently living. Thank you for any thoughts you have, and I appreciate you, Jacqueline, she calls herself Jackie. Okay, great email and a lot to unpack here. You know, let's dive into this and it's multi layered, and let me find a starting spot here. I want to point out that every time she said god, it's a god or my god in its lowercase G, and it implies, Jackie, you're implying that you have a god and I have a god. Okay, So we'll start kind of there, and my question would be this, do you think they are multiple gods? And do those multiple gods kind of going back to the last email, do they kind of co manage the earth? And they like one god has a certain amount of people and the other god has got another amount of people. And your god apparently speaks through gardening. That's your religion, you say, mother Earth. Okay, So I reject all that, and maybe that's not what you think, but I reject all that. All that thought. If there is a god, there is only one, and if there is only one God, then he is.

Sub decline is patience says hey Granger, and my name is Jackie, and I am having a really difficult time lately, and I have no one to turn to. I'm thirty five years old, I have three kids that live at home, which I homeschool. I'm married to a long haul truck driver who is home on the average of three to four days a month. I have minimal friends, all that live in either other states as we've all moved a bunch, and I do not have many close relationships with any of my family members. To say that I'm overwhelmed, lonely, and incredib burnout is an understatement of the century. The last couple of years, I have found peace, joy, and religion through gardening and reconnecting with the earth. As for the last year, I've had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to go home, and this feeling of just knowing that we are supposed to buy land and start our own farm, finally get my husband off the road, and then back with our family. But my husband feels the same way. However, It's been one thing after another preventing us from getting started on that path. It just feels like every path through our future is blocked and I'm not sure what to do. What I'm really struggling with is this calling to go home and knowing that that call is coming from my God, but not understanding the path to get there. How could you know wholeheartedly what your God wants from you, but have the patience to wait for the right path to show itself, especially when you are incredibly miserable in the life you're currently living. Thank you for any thoughts you have, and I appreciate you, Jacqueline, she calls herself Jackie. Okay, great email and a lot to unpack here. You know, let's dive into this and it's multi layered, and let me find a starting spot here. I want to point out that every time she said god, it's a god or my god in its lowercase G, and it implies, Jackie, you're implying that you have a god and I have a god. Okay, So we'll start kind of there, and my question would be this, do you think they are multiple gods? And do those multiple gods kind of going back to the last email, do they kind of co manage the earth? And they like one god has a certain amount of people and the other god has got another amount of people. And your god apparently speaks through gardening. That's your religion, you say, mother Earth. Okay, So I reject all that, and maybe that's not what you think, but I reject all that. All that thought. If there is a god, there is only one, and if there is only one God, then he is.

Let me stop there. He is everything. There's no way other way around it.

Let me stop there. He is everything. There's no way other way around it.

If there were, you know, hypothetically, if there were a God in this email scenario that wasn't all powerful or all knowing or all planning or all sovereign or all providential. If there wasn't, if he wasn't any of those things are all good, that he wouldn't be God. You know, he would be maybe like a Marvel Marvel character or something. I don't know, but he wouldn't be God and he and he if he wasn't all that, then he would have a creator himself, or he would have a father himself. Right, this is a weird rabbital for some reason I got into. But I'm trying to walk down the path because I believe this is a strange email because of the lowercase G and this idea. Okay, where else was I going to go? Let me collect correct my my brain here? Oh, I know I know where it's going to go. The idea that you're that there is home that you're being called to and you're not there now, but it's out there, and then you go at the last sent it says, especially when you're living an incredibly miserable life. So in other words, Jackie, you are painting a picture of this calling that mother Earth, God is calling you to and you feel a sense of home, and you're living a miserable life. Now, well that's interesting because if you walk down that path a little bit. C. S. Lewis had this idea that if we have a sense that there is something greater than any desire we could possibly achieve here on this earth, then we must not be from this earth, and all of us can testify. No matter who you are, no matter what you believe, your conscience betrays you because you have felt at some point a feeling that there has to be something better than this, especially if you look at like celebrities and people that have achieved a lot, or that have a lot of money or have the world and still seem unhappy and uncontent and like they can't quite get what they want. It's like that you two songs still haven't found what I'm looking for. That testifies that maybe there is something else out there.

If there were, you know, hypothetically, if there were a God in this email scenario that wasn't all powerful or all knowing or all planning or all sovereign or all providential. If there wasn't, if he wasn't any of those things are all good, that he wouldn't be God. You know, he would be maybe like a Marvel Marvel character or something. I don't know, but he wouldn't be God and he and he if he wasn't all that, then he would have a creator himself, or he would have a father himself. Right, this is a weird rabbital for some reason I got into. But I'm trying to walk down the path because I believe this is a strange email because of the lowercase G and this idea. Okay, where else was I going to go? Let me collect correct my my brain here? Oh, I know I know where it's going to go. The idea that you're that there is home that you're being called to and you're not there now, but it's out there, and then you go at the last sent it says, especially when you're living an incredibly miserable life. So in other words, Jackie, you are painting a picture of this calling that mother Earth, God is calling you to and you feel a sense of home, and you're living a miserable life. Now, well that's interesting because if you walk down that path a little bit. C. S. Lewis had this idea that if we have a sense that there is something greater than any desire we could possibly achieve here on this earth, then we must not be from this earth, and all of us can testify. No matter who you are, no matter what you believe, your conscience betrays you because you have felt at some point a feeling that there has to be something better than this, especially if you look at like celebrities and people that have achieved a lot, or that have a lot of money or have the world and still seem unhappy and uncontent and like they can't quite get what they want. It's like that you two songs still haven't found what I'm looking for. That testifies that maybe there is something else out there.

Maybe we don't belong.

Maybe we don't belong.

To this life right, like, maybe there is something bigger and something greater to look forward to. A Christian would say it's a longing for heaven. And Christians know that we it's healthy to cultivate a longing for heaven because we could satisfy that desire that you have.

To this life right, like, maybe there is something bigger and something greater to look forward to. A Christian would say it's a longing for heaven. And Christians know that we it's healthy to cultivate a longing for heaven because we could satisfy that desire that you have.

Right now and we can go.

Right now and we can go.

I'm struggling right now, but I know I'm not home, and I know that I have a cultivated longing for heaven, and because of that, there is a contentment that comes with this life now, Like I have a sense of contentment here and I know that I have a purpose here, and I don't have to think that maybe Mother Earth, God is calling me to garden in another place with my husband, with land and acreage, and that's gonna make everything better. Like if I just go to this land and garden with my kids and my husband gets finally gets off the road, then I'll be happy. Then this miserable life will be worth living. You know, Jackie, you know that is not true. You have all the data. We have all the data points and the evidence that testifies against that idea that the grass.

I'm struggling right now, but I know I'm not home, and I know that I have a cultivated longing for heaven, and because of that, there is a contentment that comes with this life now, Like I have a sense of contentment here and I know that I have a purpose here, and I don't have to think that maybe Mother Earth, God is calling me to garden in another place with my husband, with land and acreage, and that's gonna make everything better. Like if I just go to this land and garden with my kids and my husband gets finally gets off the road, then I'll be happy. Then this miserable life will be worth living. You know, Jackie, you know that is not true. You have all the data. We have all the data points and the evidence that testifies against that idea that the grass.

Is not greener.

Is not greener.

It doesn't take much to know, to talk to people, to see on TV, to watch to read history. The grass always seems greener, and it is not true. So what you're left with is if you know the grass is not greener, that this life doesn't exist, that hypothetically you go and you just live this life and it's all better because you know you're listening to Mother Earth God. If you know that that's not true, you're left with a really big problem. You're left with the incredible of your words, the incredibly miserable life that you're currently living. What do you do about that. I'm not going to go too much in depth because I do a lot on this podcast and I always like to go a little bit different directions sometimes, especially for the people that listen all the time. But I'll go this email, I'll go this way. This god you're you're referring to, and we already kind of had this discussion about if there is one god or multiple gods, there can't be multiple gods.

It doesn't take much to know, to talk to people, to see on TV, to watch to read history. The grass always seems greener, and it is not true. So what you're left with is if you know the grass is not greener, that this life doesn't exist, that hypothetically you go and you just live this life and it's all better because you know you're listening to Mother Earth God. If you know that that's not true, you're left with a really big problem. You're left with the incredible of your words, the incredibly miserable life that you're currently living. What do you do about that. I'm not going to go too much in depth because I do a lot on this podcast and I always like to go a little bit different directions sometimes, especially for the people that listen all the time. But I'll go this email, I'll go this way. This god you're you're referring to, and we already kind of had this discussion about if there is one god or multiple gods, there can't be multiple gods.

It can't.

It can't.

It cannot happen because one would have to exist before another. If there was thousands of gods, there would have to be one that bird the other gods there, they couldn't all have come into existence at the same time. In fact, if any of them came into existence, then they also wouldn't be God. The only being that would qualify to be God is a being that didn't come into existence. It always was, and always is and always will be God. Nothing else makes sense. And the idea that there is no God also doesn't make any sense because something can't come from nothing. And so if anything, if something exists, anything exists, it had to have come from something, because everything comes from something. And so if there is anything, it had to have come from something, and that something has to be God. And if if it came from God, then God has to be the only thing that has always pre existed. Like this is not this is not deep theology, this is not deep systematic religion, whatever. This is just just thinking. We're thinking around the campfire, right. It's a good it's a good discussion in the cab of a truck. And so here's here's my point, Jackie. If there is one God, which we I think I just made an argument for, don't you think that God would have made a way to communicate with its creation or do you think God made its creation and let it spin out of control? And wonder if there's a map in the stars or something in the dirt of the earth that leads like national treasure, This strange cryptic roadmap to happiness instead of living a miserable life. If you dig deep enough in this garden, you'll find the secret hidden that leads you if you follow closely to a secret life that's waiting for you with some acreage and a husband that's not on the road, and this cryptic God leaves these breadcrumbs.

It cannot happen because one would have to exist before another. If there was thousands of gods, there would have to be one that bird the other gods there, they couldn't all have come into existence at the same time. In fact, if any of them came into existence, then they also wouldn't be God. The only being that would qualify to be God is a being that didn't come into existence. It always was, and always is and always will be God. Nothing else makes sense. And the idea that there is no God also doesn't make any sense because something can't come from nothing. And so if anything, if something exists, anything exists, it had to have come from something, because everything comes from something. And so if there is anything, it had to have come from something, and that something has to be God. And if if it came from God, then God has to be the only thing that has always pre existed. Like this is not this is not deep theology, this is not deep systematic religion, whatever. This is just just thinking. We're thinking around the campfire, right. It's a good it's a good discussion in the cab of a truck. And so here's here's my point, Jackie. If there is one God, which we I think I just made an argument for, don't you think that God would have made a way to communicate with its creation or do you think God made its creation and let it spin out of control? And wonder if there's a map in the stars or something in the dirt of the earth that leads like national treasure, This strange cryptic roadmap to happiness instead of living a miserable life. If you dig deep enough in this garden, you'll find the secret hidden that leads you if you follow closely to a secret life that's waiting for you with some acreage and a husband that's not on the road, and this cryptic God leaves these breadcrumbs.

Does that sound right to you?

Does that sound right to you?

Once again talking about all knowing, all powerful, all sovereign, pre existed before everything. Don't you think that being that God through his creation would make a way to communicate with them. That's what I want you to chew on and then come back next week. Chew on that, think about it, Jackie, and let's talk. Next question says, hey, Grae, I'm seeking your advice on how to leave someone you love. I'm twenty four and I've been in an on and off relationship with my boyfriend for ten years. We grew up together and he is my first everything. As a young couple, we picked up toxic behavehavior that we've been fighting to break free of the last five years. We have been really worried or excuse me, We've been really working hard on us and overcoming many obstacles However, I can no longer deny the fact that he isn't my forever. He isn't a bad man. He is my best friend. He is very kind giving, and I know we'll be an amazing husband slash father someday. We're in the middle of building our first house together. However, our religious beliefs, standards, and worth ethics do not line up, and we still fall into old, toxic habits more than I'd like. I now have a wondering eye for something better, and I know that that's not fair to either of us. I had a wife. I had a wife mentality of not leaving him although we are not legally married. What does it mean to feel like it's still a sin to leave even though you're not married. I don't want to hurt him. I love him, So how.

Once again talking about all knowing, all powerful, all sovereign, pre existed before everything. Don't you think that being that God through his creation would make a way to communicate with them. That's what I want you to chew on and then come back next week. Chew on that, think about it, Jackie, and let's talk. Next question says, hey, Grae, I'm seeking your advice on how to leave someone you love. I'm twenty four and I've been in an on and off relationship with my boyfriend for ten years. We grew up together and he is my first everything. As a young couple, we picked up toxic behavehavior that we've been fighting to break free of the last five years. We have been really worried or excuse me, We've been really working hard on us and overcoming many obstacles However, I can no longer deny the fact that he isn't my forever. He isn't a bad man. He is my best friend. He is very kind giving, and I know we'll be an amazing husband slash father someday. We're in the middle of building our first house together. However, our religious beliefs, standards, and worth ethics do not line up, and we still fall into old, toxic habits more than I'd like. I now have a wondering eye for something better, and I know that that's not fair to either of us. I had a wife. I had a wife mentality of not leaving him although we are not legally married. What does it mean to feel like it's still a sin to leave even though you're not married. I don't want to hurt him. I love him, So how.

Do I leave?

Do I leave?

I appreciate your I appreciate your time and feedback, and for all that you do. You've encouraged me and strengthened my relationship with God, and that is a gift I could never repay you for. I'd like to remain anonymous. Recapping from a brain here. Anonymous, twenty four years old in a ten year relationship with your boyfriend. You guys are your first everything. We all understand what you mean by that. And I'm trying to find are you living? Oh, you're building hang on a second.

I appreciate your I appreciate your time and feedback, and for all that you do. You've encouraged me and strengthened my relationship with God, and that is a gift I could never repay you for. I'd like to remain anonymous. Recapping from a brain here. Anonymous, twenty four years old in a ten year relationship with your boyfriend. You guys are your first everything. We all understand what you mean by that. And I'm trying to find are you living? Oh, you're building hang on a second.

Last five years, on and off. I get it.

Last five years, on and off. I get it.

You don't like him anymore. You love him, but you don't like him, right that old saying he isn't bad. To get it, to get it, he's going to be amazing for someone. I get it. You're in the middle of building a house. Why why are you building a house together? I don't understand that.

You don't like him anymore. You love him, but you don't like him, right that old saying he isn't bad. To get it, to get it, he's going to be amazing for someone. I get it. You're in the middle of building a house. Why why are you building a house together? I don't understand that.

You're different.

You're different.

You got different religions, different standards, different worth ethics. Why can't I say that anytime it comes up? Old habits toxic? You have a wondering eye, you have a not leaving mentality, you're not legally married. And then you come back to saying you're getting stronger with God and you don't want this to be a sin to leave. Okay, this is weird and I gotta be honest with you. Anonymous, your sinate says, what does it mean to feel like it's sin to leave even though you're not married. It's not sin to leave, it's sin to stay in this situation. Think about that for a second. It's not sin to leave, it's sin to stay. I don't want to hurt him. Irrelevant say I don't want to hurt him. That's irrelevant because guess what you're doing hurting him by staying. See, that's the problem. It's not that you don't want to hurt him. That's not the that's not the issue, because if you loved him, you'd tell him the truth and you would break this off as quickly as possible, pulling a band aid off. But that's not the case. It's not that you don't want to hurt him, it's that you don't want to see him hurt by you and feel bad and guilty about it. This is really about you, Sorry, but it is. This is about you. This is about you wanting to hang on, check out, just in case maybe you're maybe you're wrong, like maybe he's going to get better, maybe things will start lining up a little bit better. He was your first everything, so that's kind of convenient to keep the first one and around you know that way, you don't have to have to explain that to other people other relationships. But the truth is, it's not about hurting him. This is about you, because you're absolutely hurting him. Right now, you're hurting him by emailing me saying I'm in a toxic relationship. We're building a house together, and I want to leave, and you're hurting him by not telling him this. So your question is how do I leave? Well, it depends on how brave you are, because if you're brave, you will set up a meeting and you will you'll say, look, you'll lookim right in the eye, and you'll sit across from each other in two chairs, and you'll put your hands on his knees and you'll say, I love you.

You got different religions, different standards, different worth ethics. Why can't I say that anytime it comes up? Old habits toxic? You have a wondering eye, you have a not leaving mentality, you're not legally married. And then you come back to saying you're getting stronger with God and you don't want this to be a sin to leave. Okay, this is weird and I gotta be honest with you. Anonymous, your sinate says, what does it mean to feel like it's sin to leave even though you're not married. It's not sin to leave, it's sin to stay in this situation. Think about that for a second. It's not sin to leave, it's sin to stay. I don't want to hurt him. Irrelevant say I don't want to hurt him. That's irrelevant because guess what you're doing hurting him by staying. See, that's the problem. It's not that you don't want to hurt him. That's not the that's not the issue, because if you loved him, you'd tell him the truth and you would break this off as quickly as possible, pulling a band aid off. But that's not the case. It's not that you don't want to hurt him, it's that you don't want to see him hurt by you and feel bad and guilty about it. This is really about you, Sorry, but it is. This is about you. This is about you wanting to hang on, check out, just in case maybe you're maybe you're wrong, like maybe he's going to get better, maybe things will start lining up a little bit better. He was your first everything, so that's kind of convenient to keep the first one and around you know that way, you don't have to have to explain that to other people other relationships. But the truth is, it's not about hurting him. This is about you, because you're absolutely hurting him. Right now, you're hurting him by emailing me saying I'm in a toxic relationship. We're building a house together, and I want to leave, and you're hurting him by not telling him this. So your question is how do I leave? Well, it depends on how brave you are, because if you're brave, you will set up a meeting and you will you'll say, look, you'll lookim right in the eye, and you'll sit across from each other in two chairs, and you'll put your hands on his knees and you'll say, I love you.

You know that.

You know that.

But I can no longer do this relationship. I'm going to be moving on and there's no chance of us getting back together. It's nothing you did, It's just I have fallen out of believing that this is going to work. There's too many factors, religion, standards, worth that ethic.

But I can no longer do this relationship. I'm going to be moving on and there's no chance of us getting back together. It's nothing you did, It's just I have fallen out of believing that this is going to work. There's too many factors, religion, standards, worth that ethic.

I can still can't say that. Worry y'all.

I can still can't say that. Worry y'all.

They don't line up. And I know we're building a house, so that makes things complicated. I want to do X y Z to pull myself out of this contract or if your name's on it and I need to move on, Look, my heart is I don't want to hurt you, and I realize that dragging it out is hurting you. The longer I go hurts you worse. So please hear my heart. I'm telling you in this very specific, blunt, truthful way so that you have a fair chance at moving on, finding someone and becoming a great husband and great father, which I know you will. Okay, and then you say I love you, and this is goodbye, And at that point love means just love because they're an image bearer of God and they're a friend. But it's not romantic love.

They don't line up. And I know we're building a house, so that makes things complicated. I want to do X y Z to pull myself out of this contract or if your name's on it and I need to move on, Look, my heart is I don't want to hurt you, and I realize that dragging it out is hurting you. The longer I go hurts you worse. So please hear my heart. I'm telling you in this very specific, blunt, truthful way so that you have a fair chance at moving on, finding someone and becoming a great husband and great father, which I know you will. Okay, and then you say I love you, and this is goodbye, And at that point love means just love because they're an image bearer of God and they're a friend. But it's not romantic love.

Okay. That's what you do. If you're brave.

Okay. That's what you do. If you're brave.

If you're not so brave, you send a text message, in a phone call FaceTime. If you're less brave than that, you leave a letter, and you leave like an old country music song. And if you're less brave than that, you disappear, which you can't do anymore because of social media. So you owe after ten years, you owe him a face to face conversation, and you owe.

If you're not so brave, you send a text message, in a phone call FaceTime. If you're less brave than that, you leave a letter, and you leave like an old country music song. And if you're less brave than that, you disappear, which you can't do anymore because of social media. So you owe after ten years, you owe him a face to face conversation, and you owe.

Him this as soon as possible.

Him this as soon as possible.

And I appreciate all of You'll thank you so much for email, and if you have a question for me, email podcast at grangersmith dot com and we'll see you next month. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and not of Fication spell so that you never miss any time I upload a video.

And I appreciate all of You'll thank you so much for email, and if you have a question for me, email podcast at grangersmith dot com and we'll see you next month. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and not of Fication spell so that you never miss any time I upload a video.

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