Psychological Reasons Why We Impulse Buy

Published Feb 6, 2024, 7:00 AM

Struggling with impulse purchases? In this episode, we dive deep into the psychology of spending, a topic that's not only fascinating but also central to our upcoming book. Jen and Jill explore the reasons behind impulse purchases and provide strategies to help combat them. We don’t just talk theory - trust us, this is a must-listen for anyone looking to improve their spending!

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Episode three seventy eight, Psychological Reasons Why we impulse.

By Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity and life. Here your hosts Jen and Jill.

Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and today we are talking psychology of spending. This is one of our favorite topics. This is kind of the reason that we are writing our book. It's very much the heart of it. And so today we are doing things a smidge differently. We're going to still do an article, We're only going to do one, and we're going to try to give actionable tips after every explanation, so not just the why, but also the how.

Shaken everything up. We know a lot of people struggle with impulse purchases and sometimes understanding why can help give us the techniques to then combat it in some helpful, beneficial ways. But first, this episode is brought to you by curators, all of them like the ones for art, wine, furniture, music, botanicals, wildlife, literature, oddities, all the rest.

Are they necessary? Probably not? Is it a dope job?

Most likely they're the ones telling us what's worth our time. What's not They drank the bad wine, looked at the weird art, got bit by the wildlife, so we can drink the good stuff.

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And if a Somalier for your finances is exactly what you need, help us curate the content for you by taking our buy annual mega survey. It sounds important because it is, but don't worry, it's not that long. Ten questions. Take the survey get better content from us, because it's how we curate what we give to you.

Yes, nine multiple choice and one short answer. And when we mean short it means you're not allowed to give a long answer. So this is going out in the friend letter. You have until February ninth to fill it out. It's going to be in the friend letter all week in every email. So if you are not getting the friend letter, head to Frugal friendspodcast dot com. Get the friend letter so that you can be part of our curated content. I really like Somalie for your finances.

Isn't that right?

Love to be that?

I think we are.

We just be like given tastes of something out like free samps.

Yeah, we're just like swirl this around in your mouth.

That's and we don't say it, no, not on a podcast, because it gives too many ways that you could shake that up in your mind. Okay, Anyways, psychology reasons that we spend. We've done this topic a lot in the past. We've got episode three point fifty one where we talk about impulse buying, what it is, how to stop, Episode two seventy nine Tips to avoid impulse spending. And so that's why we wanted to revisit it again with a few different types of maybe not so much of like the jargon of psychology, but maybe more of the actions that come from it, and then some tips to stop, some strategies. So when we pulled you guys, you guys, most of you, we pulled you and asked in the frontlinder, how many impulse buys that you're doing per week? And a lot of you guys were saying, you know, one, two, three, not a lot. Uh, But impulse buys do compound, and so I'm sure you've seen that, you know, TikTok or where it's like I think it's ten or thirteen bucks a day can end up being like a couple thousand dollars a year that you're missing out on and so that could be a vacation, your emergency fund. And we don't think about our impulse purchases as impulse purchases when we're doing them right, like people are. You know, I don't spend thirteen dollars a day in impulse purchases, no way. But maybe I'm not doing it every day, but then once a week, maybe I'm doing a fifty dollars impulse purchase at a restaurant. So while it's maybe not so applicable in your day to day, a lot of you are saying, like, lunches on workdays, that's definitely thirteen dollars.

Yeah, mostly lunches on workdays.

And somebody else said that their impulse purchases are usually on Amazon and Instagram ads. We hear that from a lot of people. Grocery store impulse purchases. I mean, if we're going to the grocery store at least once a week, that whole place is set up.

For impulse buys. Just they make.

You walk through a lot of other offerings before you get to the milk and eggs, not to mention.

The extra grocery trip that you make every week, but you don't schedule, but you inevitably make, and then you also get something in addition to the impulse buy that you made the extra trip for, you get something else. And that's the way you don't send your spouse because they'll get like five things extra.

Yeah, thanks for answering that pole. That's very similar to the Mega survey we are putting out. So obviously you all like answering questions about yourselves and what's going to be helpful for you. So just another reminder to take the Mega survey. But also thanks for answering these poles and the emails, because we're incorporating them into every episode now, which is fun.

Yeah, because we want to get like real time where are you at? And how can we best structure I mean, we come up with the topics and then ask you, so how can we best you know, structure this. That's kind of how we came up with this like a little bit altered format. So the article we're going through today is called nine Psychological Reasons Behind Impulse Spending, and so we are gonna I don't think I think we're gonna skip one. We're gonna go through eight of them once we go through the reason, we're gonna give you a kind of a tip to it's gonna be a very it's it's gonna be a little bit of service level, but it's gonna have some deepness to it, so stay with us.

So this article comes from M two comms, and the first reason for impulse spending is emotional appeal. We will often shop to meet an emotional need, whether positive or negative, if we can kind of qualify it under one of those two categories, usually somewhere on the spectrum. So we might impulse purchase because we're really happy something went really well that day. We might have a treat yourself mentally, or we could impulse purchase because we're feeling stressed anxious. It's kind of a way to cope and it makes us feel better in the moment, whether or not we're completely attached to that being the reason. There can be an emotional thing behind us having the behavior of buying when we didn't intend to buy. And so one of the things that we can do when we are finding that this might be one of our primary reasons for emotional spending is to be able to have a plan in place. If we're identifying Yeah. You know what, when I did my ninety day transaction inventory, I found that the purchases that I made most often that I wasn't planning for, happened around emotional times. Maybe it was really late at night when I'm feeling a little bit more vulnerable, or when I'm doom scrolling and having emotional reactions to the people that I'm seeing on social media, or I was really sad that day and so I went out shopping to kind of help myself feel better, having a plan in place of what am I going to do when I'm feeling stressed, anxious, sad, tired, vulnerable, or on the flip side, happy, celebratory, joyful. What are some things that I can do that doesn't equal me spending money I didn't intend to spend. And so anytime that we stop a behavior that we don't want to be perpetuating, we have to replace it with another behavior that does feel more beneficial to us. So some people might choose that their coping skill is going to be I'm going to call a friend. I think that's actually going to meet the emotional need, is being able to connect with somebody and talk, Or maybe it's that I need to get energy out. Some of this me scrolling and shopping feels like it's something to do, but really what I need to do is go for a walk, breathe in some fresh air. And I'm going to do that instead. Maybe I'm going to journal, Maybe I'm just going to pause and read a good book for five minutes. Whatever it is that for you that you think might work. Even writing these things down and having a place that you can go and say, what of these things could meet the need that I'm experiencing right now in place of buying.

And it'll take some testing too write. So whereas for some people reading a good book for five minutes is really going to like take you out of body and be you know, rejuvenating for you, it's not going to be that way for everyone. And so this is a lot of There are going to be a lot of lame answers, and you're going to have to try a lot of things that don't work in order to find the things that do. I think so often we get caught up with these lists of like I saw Gosh Vanguard, I love them, but I was on social media and I saw they posted a carousel about ways to save money and I went through and I was like, oh, no, Vanguard, stay in your lane. So went through and it was just like those same tired you know answers that are really like the the what, but.

Not the how.

And so when we give you these like how's, you're going to have to try quite a few. And I would encourage you to write them down and kind of like journal like what you experienced. After there should be like a negative emotions list and a positive emotions liss. So like, how am I going to celebrate these things without going out to get a manicure, going for a shopping spree, the normal things that we do to celebrate something that involve money. Make a list of the of the things that are free that we can get the same dopamine hit without shopping or the negative emotions. I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm anxious, I'm overwhelmed. There's there's more than enough reason to be overwhelmed. And when we are overwhelmed, we want to control something, and online shopping is something that you can really control and it's a really viable way to gain control. But we want you to make a list of like how can I gain back control in a way that doesn't involve shopping or spending money. So make both of those lists and just trial and error.

Yeah, and it will look different for you, even not just it's going to look different for every person, but depending on the circumstances, what you need in that moment will shift day to day, moment to moment, and that's where having that pause in place before we make a purchase, but also to check in with ourselves on what is the core need that's happening to me and what can I do that's going to be congruent to that core need? Is it a relational need? Meet it relationally? Is it an emotional need? Meet it emotionally? And so on and so forth, and identifying what are those activities that work for you and in each of these different categories like you've mentioned.

Yeah, so that don't meine hit leads us to our next and it is instant gratification. And so for me, this feels like shopping as a hobby or shopping as an activity. So you are looking for a quick fix of dopamine, it's pretty neutral. It's not emotional. You're just bored, you know, like we're bored, we're not doing anything, So we get up and we go to Target, to the mall, we go downtown. This is our instant gratification shopping. And so this is a momentary burst of instant gratification, but it is always short lived and it usually ends up with us having something permanently or losing something permanently that we wish we hadn't. So this is where we say, like, think about your why, but your why is a little far off right, and so this is where these internal and external motivators come in. Eventually you have to build up internal motivation to not make these purchases and not view shopping as a hobby. But in the short term you can reward yourself for not doing this instant gratification kind of thing. This is something that like hits close to home because when I was growing up, like shopping was a hobby. It's what we did every Saturday. And now that people are going to actual physical malls less, I think when we're bored, if maybe we're done scrolling social media. But social media in itself now is a shopping ad. But maybe we get tired there and we go to the Amazon app or even thread up or at like in No Spend January, a lot of you have been saying how difficult it is to pass by a yard sale or pass by a state sailing, not go in now, to pass by a thrift store and not make a stop, because these are things like you can't just go in later and expect the same things that we're there to be there. So like we have, you know, these altruistic motives and like I shop secondhand. It's better for my wallet, it's better for the environment. But do I actually need to be shopping at all right now? And so I think our strategy for this is again a list like a dopamine hit list. Similarly for our emotional like how we want to reward and fulfill ourselves emotionally? How do I want to spend my time for free when I get bored? What am I going to do that gives me that hit of dopamine that is free.

For me when it comes to because I'm hearing you on the thrift stores, the yard sales, the estate sales, because some of it is the hunt of it, and I have found for me this is gonna sound so silly, but I'm gonna throw it out in case it works for somebody else. Doing something like geocashing, where you are doing like a treasure hunt for free. For those who don't know, geocashing is an app I believe where you can find different like hidden buried treasures around your city in various parks and that kind of a thing, and people will leave behind little mementos or notes.

It's actually how Travis proposed to Jen.

He did not leave the engagement ring in the geocash spot.

Which was smart on him.

If you wanted to on our friend was like, you should not, Yeah, should just keep it on you.

Yeah.

Or also doing a hobby, doing something or learning a new skill, So it might for me Right now I'm in my sour dough era.

That does provide me a dopamine.

Hit for shirt when I'm pulling that fresh bread out of the oven that I've just made. It is doing something for me. So trying something new, doing something that you love. This could be some of the things on a dopamine hit list. Or create a treasure scavenger hunt for the kids in your life. That's also something I love doing for my nieces and nephews. So finding those ways that are free that hit.

The thing that you're looking for.

Yeah, it's gonna seem a little corny at first, but these I mean, these things are really really fun. And so again just figure like make the list and figure out like what's working for you. Sometimes for me, it is playing Solitaire on my phone, Like it's the same. Instead of scrolling Amazon in bed on my phone when I'm bored, I open up the Solitaire app. So it's not I'm literally I don't have to physically move or mentally move. I'm just really replacing that smallest habit of opening one app and instead of opening that, I'm opening another app. So you don't have to think big picture. Right. If thrifting is something you love and it's the hunt, you can think of another hunt. And that's where the ninety day transaction inventory really comes into play because we're not looking at numbers on there, right, We're looking at triggers. We're looking at why did I spend this money?

What?

Instead of saying why, because that's where we're trying to get away from. What need was I trying to meet with this transaction and how can I better meet it without spending money?

Yeah?

Number three on this list or reason that we impulse by, is social influence. We've talked about this a ton of course, when it comes to the scrolling, everything is an ad but also the people in our lives. So there was research done out of the University of Florida and University of Tennessee that revealed that just the mere presence of a shopping partner can boost the likelihood of splurging on unplanned items. And this can happen when you are just out with a friend and if your hobby or activity is going out to the stores, both of you might bond together by egging each other on in making the purchase that you might not have made on your own. And so one of the things that we can do to kind of combat that level of impulse purchases is to retrain our brains and our thoughts around shopping as a hobby or an activity. To say that it's not shopping is not a hobby or an activity.

It is I mean, I guess it's an activity.

It is something that we do, but not necessarily something that we do for fun, to fill the space, to meet our boredom, to kind of solve the boredom that we might experience.

Yeah, not a wait, it's not the best way to bond or build relationship if.

You both need something and it's a nice way to be able to get out, that's great. But if you are identifying, you know what most of my impulse purchases are happening when I'm just going out to the store on a Saturday afternoon with a friend with no clear purpose or intention in mind, know that you are going to be more likely to buy in those situations. So again, we're not just cutting it out. We're not just depriving ourselves from being with friends, from bonding with others, from finding fun activities, but we're replacing them with something that is going to be more beneficial for us, maybe actually meet the need, actually be better for our wallet. So this is going to be identifying what do I like to do socially that doesn't have to involve me spending. Can you if it's just being out for a walk with a friend. Are there other things and activities that you can do? Can you find free activities on Facebook? Can you come up with an activity that you can do with friends? Can you host brunch at your home so you're not already at the store next to stores at brunch and then now you're buying and shopping, and so some of it, all of This is just an increased level of awareness of what are my triggers? Is it primarily social? What can I replace that with that is still social but doesn't lead me to spend money unintentionally.

Well, here's what really got me on this one is the recent study that highlighted family members, particularly parents and children, had an even more substantial impact in driving impulse purchases than significant others, close friends, or partners. And if you have ever shopped with a child, you know that the social influence is not positive. It is negative. And sometimes you have to choose your battles. Do I want to spend this money and avoid this tantrum? Or am I happy to live with the tantrum and at least willing to live with the tantrum. It's a choice you have to make in the time, and there's no there. Honestly, sometimes there's no way to avoid the tantrum. You have to handle it. You have to plan it or honestly, plan to shop with your children as little as possible. That's the only thing that helps me I avoid like the plague, going to a store with my children. That is that, and even with I mean with my mom sometimes, like when I was growing up, that's what we used to do on the weekends together, so it can definitely be a trick for me. And the thing is that she's never trying to get me to spend because she doesn't care about my money. She just and vice versa. I just I don't want to be the person any more than I already am. That's like, like, are you sure you need that? Because that if you do that to a friend, that that's uncomfortable, Like that is a friction.

I mean, yeah, you're parentifying yourself to that, and so nobody wants to be like that, right, And so that's why our.

Stress is we avoid it. Avoid it as much as possible. That's the best way. Avoid shopping with other people and then kind of building up those boundaries to be the voice that isn't like quote unquote parental, but make it about you just being like, oh, I don't really need if they're if they tell you I'm trying to spend less and then you're with them and they're trying to make an impulse by and this is probably gonna happen with a parent. And I'm so sorry in advance because I've been in this situation and you're like did, I mean, did you plan to buy it and don't like go in deep Honestly, it's like not your place. But if it triggers them to stop, then cool. If it doesn't, then it was not.

We ultimately only need to worry about ourselves and our own triggers.

But avoided as much as possible. And the fourth one is utilitarian motivations. So this is another one as a mom that really hits close to home, but you find yourself making impulse decisions on practical and functional items like toilet paper, batteries. My grandmother, no lie, she left me one thousand dollars when she died and also a thousand dollars worth of toilet paper, like to all of her grandchildren.

And it's a decent inheritance. You will use that.

And toilet paper, And yeah, I did. I was like in college, so I was like cool. But that's I mean, when we're buying stuff that we know we're gonna use, it doesn't seem like a bad impulse buy because we're saving money on it. But when you're trying to pay down debt that is increasing income and you've got a stockpile full of toilet paper, paper, towels, rice, all these things ready for the apocalypse going underground. That stuff is losing value. I mean, with inflation, it's not bad to keep a couple months, I would say, so my practical tip for this one is think three in three month intervals. If you have enough for three months of that product, then you do not need more right now. Even if it's on sale. We'll get into sales, but they're cyclical, so.

That is a helpful metric.

I did not know that this was a category of impulse spending until I read through this article, because I'm like, I, it's not a huge issue for me at this point in my frugal journey, and until I read that one, I'm like, oh, that's me, And it never really strikes me as too much of an issue because I will eventually use it. But that is a very common one for me, extra rays or blades that I didn't intend to buy. Oh yeah, I might as well stock up on the deodorant right now. It's just so I don't even know if I get that much of a dopamine high from it, other than I just get to feel like, oh, I am prepared for the next thing that's happening.

Well, on the surface, it's not bad, but as a habit, if this is not everybody struggles with this, but if you do, then eventually you get to the point where you're stucking up on so many things that by the time you need it, you've lost the thing that you stocked up on. And so that's when it becomes a problem. And that's when we want to say, Okay, this is the time where we want to focus more on decluttering and minimalism and have that sort of mindset so we can go back on this, you know, kind of semi hoarding on some stuff. So not everyone will struggle with this, but if it is something you've made a habit of, it's definitely something to kind of think in those three month intervals, specifically for yourself.

The next on this list is number five, feeling of getting a deal. This is a big reason for impulse buying. I think touched on in all of these other categories. We can find ourselves in social situations. We can find ourselves wanting to stock up on necessities any one of them can intersect with and it's on sale, and when we can get that got a great deal, when we get get that double whammy of I'm hunting, I'm getting what I need and it's a deal. WHOOI That can be a big reason and sometimes just the feeling of getting a deal, and we would say that's kind of the lowest tier of helpful when it comes to impulse purchases. Great to get a deal on something that you need, but if you're just getting a deal, then it's not a deal, Like we're ultimately going to save far more money buying something full price that we actually need than getting two things we don't need on sale. So I think one of the things that we can do to combat this feeling if that's one of our main triggers of it's a red tag, it's on sale, this is way less than it typically is, it is being able to know that deals happen in cycles. So this is one of the things that we can remind ourselves of when we are seeing the red tags and the sales that are happening, know that they are playing off of a sense of urgency for us that I'm never going to find this deal again.

I've hit the jackpot.

I got to buy it now, and to give ourselves the pause and be able to say no, actually sales happen in cycles. This sale will come around again if I need it then, and again that reminder of even if it doesn't happen on sale, when I finally do need that thing, it's going to be better to pay full price than to pay lower than that now on things that I don't actually need, things I wasn't planning on spending on.

So again, most of this is.

Going to be creating that pause before the spending. That's going to be the tip that flows throughout all of these impulse spending categories and the psychological reasons behind it is wherever we can create just a five second pause to identify what is it about this that's drawing me in right now, and what is a solution that I can implement right now? And for this one, it's this sale is giving me a sense of urgency that doesn't need to be there right now. It will be on sale again if I really want it, I'm going to put it on my list. I keep a list of things that I want to purchase and give it time, so I keep a notes app in my mind phone, and if it's on that list when I come across a deal, then I can give myself permission to buy it. Sometimes I'm waiting twenty thirty forty five days before I'm actually making a purchase on something. But put it on the list, and that can also solve for some of that I really want to do something about the fact that I saw this thing. It's drawing me in, I want to buy it. Put it on the list. The list doesn't go in anywhere, and you can circle back to it if you still want it in a week, two weeks, three weeks from now.

Yeah, and here's another tip that goes a step further. If it's worth buying to you, then it is worth taking the time to research online the times that it has been on sale before. The internet is magical and it keeps score, it keeps receipts on what is on sale and when. You could go look at Blackfriday dot com and see every Black Friday ad that's ever been on the internet. Right, So the sales are very easy to find if you research them. If it's worth buying to you, then it'll be worth you doing the research to see when was the last time is on sale, when is it going on sale again, and then you can buy it. And if it is not worth you doing that, research, then you don't really want it. Then you know it's an impulse buy, and you can go right on past. And you can even do it on your phone in front of the item, so you don't have to wait. You can't. You can't be like, oh, I can't wait till I get home, because then I'll miss out. I can't wait to this research. You can do it right on your phone. So if it's not worth doing that and researching the sale cycles of the store that you're in the sale history of the item you're looking at, it's an impulse buy and you don't really truly want it. So the next one, I love this one. I love this one so much. Cognitive biases, Jill, you like this one. So cognitive bias. I know I said we wouldn't use like psychology dark, but so cognitive biases also known as heuristics. There this one, Yes, that's not in your So there are shortcuts that our brains take to help us make sense of things around us that are complicated, that require thinking right, and so cognitive biases allow us to make decisions quickly and without thought. So it's like, if you've heard of the book thinking Fast and Slow, your cognitive biases are your fast thinking, and so shoppers that are driven by their confirmation biases tend to seek out information that confirms their desire to purchase the product. That's rationalization, your rationalizing, and so this comes again it very much combines with the with buying for utilitarian reasons. I think this one utilitarian sales and cognitive biases. These ones come at you at a like triple whammy, right, They're all there at the same time, and you can really easily rationalize why you are buying the thing that you are impulsively buying. And so I think the solution for this one might be, like, your reality isn't always the realist. It's knowing that sometimes the information that you're processing you have a confirmation bias towards You're trying to get to that answer. Not all the time, but you have to kind of be real with yourself and be like, I want this to be true. I know I want this to be true, and is it going to cause me to buy it or am I gonna say I'm going to put it back because it's not the it's not the realist.

And if this topic does intrigue you, if it doesn't skip on past it.

That's totally fine.

But if you do want more of these kind of psychological urns, what are the cognitive biases? There are so many, Yeah, there are so so many. One of the ones that I do want to highlight is an anchoring bias. And so this one has to do with believing that the first piece of information we've received is the most accurate, and we're going to compare everything else back to that first piece of information, whether or not it is actually accurate. Now, the thing about cognitive biases is that they're not actually bad in and of themselves. They can be really helpful. But being aware of them again, putting in that pause to know when they're at play and when they might not be helping you but instead hurting you, is going to be helpful. And so even being able to name some of these biases can be fruitful for us. So when it comes to shopping, this is one that's at play a lot. I actually witnessed it. This was many years ago, but I was out with my mom at a crafts market and there was this. It wasn't even a press. It was like a garlic tray with little nodules on it that you could like, shave down your garlic in the bowl.

I have a cutting board that has that on it and a knife sharpener.

Yeah, and they were really beautiful and but yet you could tell these weren't handmade. They weren't handmade by them. They were just selling them and for like forty bucks a pop. And my mom really loved them, and I thought they were really cool too, And I'm like, I'm gonna look that up on the internet and see how much these are. And sure enough, the same exact ones for fifteen dollars to be found elsewhere. Again, like same ones, they weren't handmade. I would understand if they were handmade and at higher price than buy local, but this was not the case here. So I'm like, I love it, but I think I'm gonna go for the less expensive option if I'm even gonna buy it. I did not end up purchasing it, but that's that. And for her, she was just like, no, but I found it here first, and I think it's a great idea, And they were the ones to introduce me to this idea, and that's the anchoring bias in that moment of this is where I first learned about it.

So this is where I'm going to purchase it.

So keeping those things in mind again, lots of other cognitive biases that we could be talking about, but recognize when they're at play and when they are influencing your purchases for the better or the worse at that time. Okay, the ninth and final category that we're going to go through we did skip over to is environment. So our environment has so much to do with our impulse purchases. This can be environment literally the space and location that we are in in that exact moment. It could also be environment of what's happening in the world around me, what's going on with the economy, and just the political landscape, you name it that might be influencing some of my impulse purchases and just the physical environment. So let's say you're out shopping the appealing displays and the tempting offers like Joanna Gaines Target, Yes, the Joanna Gaines section of Target. I know we've talked about this before. A really good solution in those situations is take something out of the Joanna Gaines display section and walk it on over to the trash can section and see if that item still looks good in the trash can section of target, because that's probably going to be more accurate how the thing looks in your own head.

We post We talked about this on another episode, posted that clip onto Instagram and it is one of our best performing reels. People love the idea of the trash tests.

Not saying that your house is trash or my house is trash, but just that an item taken out of the esthetically pleasing environment gives the impression of what the actual item looks like apart from its surroundings. And I have been disap pointed myself. I'm like, why doesn't this thing look like it did there in my home now? And it's because it's not set up the same. Sometimes these items only look good in the milieu of the other things. So recognizing when your environment is at play, when you're kind of basking in the essence of the aesthetic of the place and you just kind of want to be a part of that esthetic by purchasing to be able to pause and say, I can enjoy this aesthetic without pulling out my wallet, to be able to lean into this right now.

Yeah, you have something like that in your house right now, hanging on the ceiling probably should have been next to a trash can.

You gotta test out lights to know what's gonna work in your space.

Yeah, I mean, Jill takes risks, and it is. You can still be frugal and take risks with your design elements, but you have to all so be willing to return it when it doesn't Maybe you take it home and you're and you're like, oh, it doesn't look as good next to my trash can, and you've got to be willing to return it.

I love returning stuff. That's actually there is a coming back from impulse purchases, and it's called returning things. So I know that it's an extra trip to the store, that it's extra time and energy spent, but getting money back and being able to reclaim some of those purchases that you didn't actually mean to make or doesn't meet your need entirely is the best.

Right you can. You can fail in the moment and still win overall. Let's be clear about that. You can fail in the moment and still win overall. It's called returning, and we're not girl mathing here. When you return it, you leave the store, right, you know, say oh now I have now I made money something else and it's basically free. No, we're we're here, We're in it to win it.

Even if it's a gift card, you hold onto that gift card until you need something from that store.

Or you're planning your impulse purchase and be like, I set aside fifty bucks this month just for impulse purchases.

That's awesome.

We're not trying to fight against our what our brains want all the time. Right, If you are budgeting for an impulse buy, then that's great, spend the money. But we also want to train our brains to not immediately go there when we're having emotional response, or we're bored, or we're with someone. So that's the purpose of going through all of these But ultimately we want to say, if you do make the impulse buy, you can always come back over ninety nine percent of the time. If you ate, you know what you bought, you can't come back from that.

Do you want to know what a good replacement for boredom? Hier desire to spend.

Everybody's list for instant gratification.

The bill of that way, that's right, it's tough for the best minute of your entire week, Maybe a baby was born and his name is William.

Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died, and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Dust bills, Buffalo bills, Bill clion. This is the bill of the week.

Hey there, Hi, Jen and Jill love your podcast. My name's Anna. I was just calling because I have an awesome bill of the week. My husband has been a cardio patient since the day he was born. He's been treated at our local children's hospital for basically his whole life, and we had some reasons that we wanted to leave. One of those being that his after insurance, our reliable portion during COVID jumped to four thousand dollars. That was after our insurance was applied. So we decided to look into other doctors, and we found a really awesome one who's a great fit and it's outside of the hospital and his echo is done in a separate lab. And the bill just never showed up. So I was getting a little bit nervous that it was like sent to his email or something. So I called the doctor's office. And our responsible portion this year is zero dollars. Our insurance covered at one hundred percent, so I just want to encourage your other listeners. You know, you don't have to stay faithful to a certain doctor or a certain hospital. You're able to go shop that out and look for alternatives. So I highly recommend doing so. Thanks again for the podcast.

I really love it, oh Anna so good and saying like, there's definitely space to keep doctors we love, but there are so many good.

Doctors out there. It's also like, just because refrugal doesn't mean we need to use the cheapest doctor that we dislike, but it does give space for experimenting for sure, and healthcare that can be one of the big three if you're dealing with a chronic illness like that.

Yeah, we've talked about chronic illnesses what we did an interview in the past, and I think especially in those circumstances, it's important to be able to shop around, but also to be able to give yourself permission to stick with somebody who's trustworthy and reliable. But just for anybody too to recognize, I think there can be this idea for those who may not go to the doctor that often, that the price is going to be the same across the board, Like this is just how much hospitals cost. This is how much the kope is always going to be, this is how much the doctor is and it's just not true. Even in a ten to fifteen mile radius. Different establishments can charge various amounts of money. Insurance is going to cover various amounts at these different establishments, So calling around can be such a headache and very time consuming, but can also save thousands of dollars. And I'm so thrilled to hear that this was able to work out for you and your husband and that you were able to find a trustworthy person, because, yeah, going to one place for so long, it can be really difficult to make that change. But it sounds like a celebratory thing for the two of you, and I'm very glad to hear it. Thanks for the bill. Yes, if you all listening, have a bill about shopping around and getting a deal. If just your name is Bill and you do or don't shop, or just literally anything related to Bill.

If you are Bill and you're getting the bill, and deb's get in the package. I can't tell you how many people have sent us that reel from ring.

We'll hear about it again. We love to laugh.

Visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill, leave us your bill. We're ready for it, and now it's time for providing around.

All right, your most common impulse by and the steps you're doing to fight the impulse. So food, close home tools.

I'm the impulse versus sing circular sauce.

I mean plumb bobs. Oh, I love me a good plumb bob. You don't, I.

Actually do love plumbobs. I don't know if they like they really get me.

I want to put it on a necklace.

I don't know what a plumbbob is.

Well, look it up, okay, but don't impulse buy it.

I'm so glad. I don't know what that is, Okay. For me, it is definitely food. I think if you don't say food, I don't know if you're listening to the right podcast.

If you or at least if you don't already know that we're both going to say food, yeah.

Then you don't know us listen to the podcast more until that answer is not a surprise to you. So for me, it is definitely take out coffee. And it was the things that were on my nose bend January, take out coffee and quick service food. I don't have a problem like impulse going to restaurants because I have children, and again I try to take them as few places as possible that they're going to ask for money. And so, but I do I do love a drive through, a Starbucks drive through. Actually, I am disillusioned with Starbucks right now.

Oh I know, Oh, pinky up, I spill the tea.

I'm just like, there's so many other good places. Cariboo Coffee came to Saint Pete. It's their first location in Florida.

Oh, Caribou is. I'm not this Caribou Is. I mean, I know Cariboo, I didn't know that they were in Saint Pete.

Yeah, they make my favorite latte. So I'm like, why would I even go to Starbucks? Like it's I don't want this anymore when I have this. Yes, so but Caraboot, I mean the closest one was in Atlanta before and now it's down.

So you used to be driving up to Atlanta right right all the time. Wow, So it saves you money on gas too, perfect.

So that and I plan for the quick service once or twice a week. But I think the impulse comes in that I will not go on the day that I plan, I will just it'll get to a certain time and I'll feel a certain way and just be like mat, ma'm I'm not doing this. So I have been simplifying my meal plans even more lately, especially well so we're still on no spend January as we record this, and so I've gotten even simpler as the month is evolved. And so yeah, those are my biggins and that's kind of I make. So the number one thing that I've done to stop the drive through spending on coffee is I will take my mug with me in the car. So when I am out, when I want to go through the drive through, I cannot because.

I there's no room.

There's no room. I had wheel in one hand and coffee mug in the other.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's how I.

Look so silly with an open mug in the car. But it works for me and I'm not covered in coffee. That's a skill. You have to fill the coffee mug halfway. So that's just a tip if you're going to do that. And then is those stupid simple meal plan things cereal for dinner, leaning into cereal for ting in and sandwiches.

I respect that for me, it's food. It's always gonna be food. It's all of our answers. So and even impulse shopping, impulse food buys at the grocery store, that's I can use my words. So one of the ways that I am solving for this is by taking inventory before going shopping. So a common impulse buy for me is duplicates of something that I already have and I just don't remember. So I'm getting more canned chicken, more shredded cheese, more flour and rice, you name it. I'm getting the things and I didn't actually have to buy it on that trip.

So even if I don't.

Have time to be digging into all my shelves and writing everything down, I'll just take pictures. If I'm on my way out the door, I know one of the errands that I'm gonna run is to the grocery store. I'm taking pictures of my fridge, taking pictures of my pantry, and then I can look through them when I'm at the store to remind myself do I have pasta on hand? How much what's in my freezer? And that has been super helpful. But then beyond that, when I can find those spaces regularly. I usually meal plan every two weeks, so that has been a big one for me, and I meal plan both our lunches and dinners to be able to reuse ingredients. So really sticking to the list has been helpful. But I also make room in my budget, in my spending plan for some of those impulse purchases, because that's what makes it fun. If I'm going to be eating at home, like more than I'm eating out, then I need to have things that are enjoyable for me. I need to be able to get the chocolate if I want to get the chocolate. So leave a little bit of room for something to strike your fancy and it just won't feel like deprivation all the time.

Yes, if you love spontaneity and hate planning, there is still space for you in frugality. There is still a way that you can limit your impulse purchases and still get the things that make you happy and the surprises and that impulsivity. We're looking at the eighty twenty world. We're looking to do it right eighty percent of the time and do whatever the heck we want the other twenty percent of the time and not feel guilty about it. So thank you so much for listening. I hope that strikes your fancy. We love reading your kind reviews, especially this one from Wham eighty five. I wrote you a couple of years ago and would like to update. Uh oh, the Frugal Friends have shifted their tone to focus on grace, personal finance and environmental sustainability and values based spending. I love this approach and that the content is presented with levity and humor.

Who that's a beautiful review. It makes me wonder what the previous review was. But we're here for this update you. If you've been listening to us for a while and you feel like you need to update your review in like a positive direction, go for it.

Yes, and yeah, please leave us a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or both. It really does help people figure out if this is the right show for them, because yeah, we have shifted, I mean over six years, we not the same it a little yeah. So so thank you, mellas.

Next time, thanks for listening.

Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni Oh, Jill, I have something salacious. Oh my gosh, this could ruffle some feathers, okay, and it could demote me from average mom to mom I don't want to, you know, mom, nobody wants to be like so this week, this week is the Scholastic Book Fair.

I love book Fair week, do you I?

I hate it?

Well, as a kid, I loved it.

Okay, we'll say here's that's that's where we're yep. I hate it's you have to buy books. It's inside a library where all the books are free, but they want you to buy books. And then we have other libraries where I can get even more books for free. Okay, so the only thing that he's going to want to buy is cheap plastic stuff that doesn't that will not last more than thirty.

Why is that? It was my favorite part?

But like the book fair, what I always wanted were like those slap bands that you slap it and then it like you know, goes around your wrist, and then the erasers and the pencils.

I don't want more of that in my house. I don't want to buy it. But now I am also pushing that on my four year old. And my four year old doesn't have the same values values of the environment and frugality that I do. And so I am at this crossroads and I have to think, like, I can't just send him with five dollars either. It's now they're using e wallets. I have to load an e wallet online.

No you don't.

And so I'm at this at this really tough spot, like do you? And that's where that social influence is. It's the children that get you to spend. So I didn't send He's four, So I don't think I'm going to traumatically like mess him up this week more than I already have. I'm testing it much easier to test it four than at seven. Right, Yeah, Okay, you're judged for your lack of slap bracelet.

Right, so what are you doing?

Nothing? I gave him no money, okay, Yeah, and I'm going to see what happens this week. Did I devastate him? And my solution that I'm already planning is if he's very sad, I'm going to take him to get a cake pop at Carabo consumable A consumable. Yeah, So I'm just going to pivot and spend the same amount of money I would have or potentially no money.

Yeah.

I feel like there's a way to explain it. I mean, I don't know how much a four year old's can understand it.

But I feel like you really connected the dots for me.

The books and things they're selling are in the midst of books and things that are for free, and so we've got some hard earned money here that we're gonna be a little bit more judicious about spending. And I think you should use that word with him, judicious. Yeah, I think you're giving him a gift there in vocabulary.

He has a wide vocabulary. So yeah, I don't know how it's gonna be. It's stressful.

What if it turns him to stealing?

What if?

What if he's like, fine, Mom, I'm gonna find my own way and I'm gonna steal the things that I want from my friends. What my friends are getting all these things that I want, and so now they're mine.

Oh now I am.

I'm saying what I don't want to know. I don't want to anymore.

Well, controlling the recording

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