Some say money can't buy happiness, but what if it can? Today we're talking 'happy money principles' and ways to align your dollars with your values and use money as a resource to experience greater intentionality with your spending.
Sponsors:
Notable Notes:
What the Internet has to say:
This article from Forbes provides us with 5 principles of happy money
What Jen + Jill have to say:
More from the Internet
This article from INC provides us with some top tips for 'happy spending'
More from Jen + Jill
BILL OF THE WEEK - Thanks Olivia for sharing about your $2 bill that you used to FILL UP the gas tank on your scooter!
Episode one fourteen, How to Buy Happiness. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money embrace simplicity to you how to Buy Happiness. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and I am super happy about today's episode. What a great tie and we are titled. We do a lot of listener requests and on the rare occasion that I get to slip one in there that nobody requested, but just I am excited about None of us noticed. None of us noticed. It's about happy money principles. So it's our book club friends. We'll remember we used to have a book club, and if we still had one, this would definitely be one of the books in the book club. And so we'll talk about it. Uh and uh yeah, I'm just super stoked. I love how excited you are about it. I also thought that maybe you were excited because we were in person. Oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah wow. So you'll see that if you're watching this on YouTube or listening to us on YouTube, that we are together again. Because Eric and I are buying a home in Florida. We put our money where our mouth is to buy happiness, to buy Happy Florida. Yeah, yeah, we'll talk about it. We're going to get here. I will dive in first. We're going to talk about our sponsors. Also brought to you by chewing gum. It's what makes me happy and it's what repels cavities. Chewing gum so win wich she does. When I read this, I laughed because she loves chewing up too. It's a shame for me that during podcasting I can't chew up. It's sadness to her repels cavities, but probably will give me lock jaw. Maybe I don't know, but it is happiness for me, and I buy it. I buy it once a week. Yes, So, speaking of buying happiness. Uh, there is a book called Happy Money and it is an amazing, amazing book. Um. I am. I should have become prepared with the name of the author, UM, but I didn't, So I'm googling it right now. No shame, um. But it's essentially five principles um that it's the science of happier spending. And it's five principles that do when you spend on them, uh, increase your happiness. Um. And it's by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton got there quick. There it is um and so Michael Norton actually did a Ted Talk Ted X talk about happy Money, so you can find that, uh, and they even have a mobile app. UM. You might be familiar with joy or payoff for happy money. It's a few iterations. So there are several ways you can come into contact with happy money, and we're going to go through a few articles, uh talking about those principles, how you can apply them to your life and why they're so super relevant, um for for where we're living in right now. Yeah. I love how they highlight just this concept of spending money on things that will actually bring us joy in our lives. And that's the idea behind you know what people say, like money can't buy you happiness, but money used wisely can buy us things that bring about life giving opportunities, and you know, maybe some activities that do bring about joy and can create some happiness and connection between us and others. And we'll talk about that. So, yeah, ways that you can spend your money, not not just making financially sound decisions, but how money can be a tool to be used for a variety of ways in our lives and one of them to help us, uh, bring about life and joy. Yeah. We are not frugal for the sake of being frugal for the sake of hoarding money. Uh, it is. It is a tool. And so our first articles from Forbes and it's called the five Principles of Happy Money. So we're just going to go through those ones first and uh yeah, it's yeah. So the first one is to buy experiences. Research shows that material things turn out to provide less happiness than experiential purchases, but for some reason, we we continue to buy things because when you buy something, you have it long term, and so we think, oh, I'm gonna buy the shirt and I'm going to get to wear it over and over and over, and that is going to bring me happiness every time I wear it. Um. But the law of diminishing returns, will, you know, remind us that it only will bring you happiness for so long, Whereas an experience, the the anticipation of it, the actual experience, and the memories associated with it, You carry those with you for much longer than the happiness that an item can bring those that you've shared those memories with as well. It's amazing how I can recall maybe one time of spending three hours with somebody, and it is it feels as though I spent a lot longer than that with with somebody, given whatever kind of circumstance or activity you're doing side by side. It's it's quite amazing how important experiences are and the memories that are created as a result of that versus just like what we can do with our things in isolation. Yeah, when I was paying off debt, I had a rule that I would never drink alone. So whether that was alcohol or coffee or whatever, I would never drink alone. And that was to save money because I love the experience of getting coffee with a friend or going to a bar um. But alcohol and coffee tend to be expensive after you, you know, buy them a lot. So I gave myself freedom to enjoy those things, but only if I experienced them with someone. That's a helpful boundary line, especially when you're at certain financial goals that could be And yeah, it aims at the experience of it and not just the thing that you're consuming. Like that, and that kind of ties into number two on this list is make it a treat. And so the article argues that when something is always available, we're less inclined to appreciate that thing. This goes in line with growing up in an area and never having been to the local museums or even some of the local parks because it's just there. I don't know, it's like that's in my backyard. I just never go. Versus others who come to visit. It's like that happened to us all the time growing up outside Philly. People are like, I want to go see the Liberty bell Is. It's so amazing, Like I want to see the Betsy Ross House. I want to all these things. And we're just like, oh yeah, Like I went there once on a field trip in elementary school. It's just there. You just don't think about it. Um. And so using that mentality, we can create things to be treats and to be exciting um. And so in the article they give this example of like they went out a vacation and they found this wine that they really liked, and then they had wine every single night for dinner, and then suddenly they didn't want wine anymore. It wasn't a treat. And so, in some ways, kind of abstaining from a thing or a purchase or an activity for a time that you typically enjoy can help to make that thing a treat and then you can, yeah, spend money on that thing, but it doesn't have to be all the time. We don't have to gorge ourselves on that thing. And and in in some ways that kind align with fruit frugal principles as well of yeah, by the things that you enjoy, but it doesn't need to be amassed in large quantities. Do it occasionally, look forward to doing it. Well. That's one of the reason that I love doing no spend challenges. When I was paying off debt, I had these habits built up and I didn't even realize them, um that I would just spend money without thinking, but abstaining from it for just a few weeks put things back into perspective for me. And so these things, once I could do them again, felt like treats. Oh my word, it's like what has happened with COVID nineteen and all that we have not had access to. Like just getting to gather with somebody outside feels like an enormous treat um. I know in our area, even like restaurants, outdoor restaurants just opened up, and so even being able to eat outside and you see that, you see the benefit that that can have on your bank account, and then create, like I know, for myself, I plan Eric's hearing this for the first time to not go out to eat as often as I did prior to all of this happening. I'm still going to get take out, don't get me wrong, but going out to eat is quite an expense that I need to treat as a treat pun intended, pun intended more than just like how I feed myself for sure. It's just taking a step back every once in a while, um and and just re recalibrating and looking at things as they are intended to be. And in the same like with turning coffee and bar, you know, things into experiences. That also turned it back into a treat for me. So I actually sought out people. Do you get the introvert in me, you know? So it was a way to maintain community because has paying off debt can also be kind of isolating, um. So it was a way for me to seek out community away for me to make these things into treats, so I didn't feel like I was depriving myself. So that you know, the pendulum swung swung from all the way abstaining to all the way indulging. It's still kept it in balance and check but saved me money and I was able to feel really excited every time I went out. It feels a bit gamified to me too, and some yes and setting up these boundary wrong with this for yourself? Yeah, I'd be curious and feel free to engage with us on our focal Friends Facebook community group. Did I say that right? Ridical friends community on Facebook? Yeah? Okay? Uh? In in some of the ways that you have set up boundary lines for yourself in a way that maybe gamifies or make something into a treat or yeah, that'd that'd be fun. I know that we do these things at different times, like the no spend challenge or like what you know, the boundary lines that you've set up for yourself to drink coffee. I think that can help us in this journey to create some fun around what might typically be Monday in or routine. Yeah, I think it's a great idea. Um. The third is to buy time outsource your dreaded tasks in order to have more time to follow your passions. Um. So if money is an issue, consider outsourcing things like cleaning the house so you can work more and earn more money to pay for the house being cleaned. And this I think is a huge mindset block for a lot of people. I'll say, for me initially paying to outsourced dreaded tasks or um, I'll talk about this later, but to um, you know, pay for things so that I was able to earn more money, UM that I felt a lot of guilt about having to do that, UM, but reframing it to be about like, no, I'm buying time so that I can do more of the things I enjoy. I think it's a prioritizing issue too. And I noticed this in my own life where I know what my priorities are. I say that I know them, but then what I'm actually doing with my time is not that I get so caught up in the menial tasks that keep me from doing what I actually want to do. And I think that this is along those same lines of saying what do you actually want to put your time to, then put your money towards the things that you don't want to be doing. And that's not to say like, Okay, this is not for everybody to hire a house cleaner, Like, I'm sure that there could be a millionaire arguments against doing that. However, find out what that is. What are you spending your time on that is keeping you from doing the things that you want to be doing or the things that can help make you more money. And it doesn't even have to beat time consuming things. But if you'd rather be doing a side hustle than be doing your laundry, holy smokes, do your side hustle and take your laundry to the drug. If your side hustle is more profitable at least, yeah, then it's worth it. I also and and so I think we talked about this in one of our early early episodes in the archives. So I want to dig up this concept again because it's something that has really stuck with me and have shifted a lot of the way that I approach money and think about this specific topic. When Eric and I were in Uganda, UM we were building homes and setting up solar power and different things like that UM for an organization down there, and we when engaging with the local people there, we realized that so many had people meaning their homes that they paid people watching their children that they paid um and they themselves or maybe not making in our in my mind, like a lot of money. And yet and so I was talking with some people about that, and they were like, well, this is what we see as the right use of our money. That if I can afford to provide some sustenance to somebody else, then that is my responsibility to do that, versus hoarding it all and saying I can do it all. I can watch my kids, I can clean the laundry, I can do the dishes, I can make the food, I can work, I can show for I can be on the p t a Like this is a mentality. This is such an individualistic mentality that can really be a detriment to our mental health, to our happiness. As we're talking about um and and this intersects with a lot of other things that we're going to talk about on this list of like being generous. Not that I think paying somebody for their work is generous, but that idea that like is better to give than to receive. And so if we are able to afford to give others a task, to give others a job and pay them for it, like it's it's our responsibility at least the way. That's the way. That's something that that took from that culture. Uh, and that has really shifted the way that I view my money and the way that I engage with that because I think we feel like frugality means hoarding your money, doing everything to scrimp and save and scrounge. But frugality is just about widening the gap between what you spend and what you earn. Like, that's what frugality is to us, is widening that gap so that you have more disposable income to do with the things that make you happy. And so like I love that concept. Yeah, and and it is happiness if you do choose to buy a house cleaner to come home and the dishes are done and you didn't do them. Yeah, that sounds good. Um. The fourth one on this list is pay now, consume later. So they're talking about paying up front for whatever cost it is. They're primarily talking about vacations and delaying the consumption for that. Um. And you can buy more happiness even as you spend less on those things. UM. Delaying consumption allows us to reap the pleasure pleasures of even anticipation. And I love what's being talked about here, and this is actually um a concept or even like a tool that I was handing out to people in the midst of COVID nineteen and managing anxiety and figuring out how how do we find perk best if maybe we are without work or we've experienced extreme disruption or transition in our lives. And one of the things that we found as clinicians was really helpful and is always really helpful, just kind of pulling on and amplifying this is we need something to look forward to, all of us. And really we're talking about hope, like we need hope. That is true across the board, but particularly when things are very uncertain, it is important to have things to look forward to, or when things are very very difficult, it's important to say, what can I set my sights on that helps me to pull up out of my immediate circumstances. And that is true regardless of whether or not there's a global pandemic happening. It is helpful for us to have something that we can set our sights on and say, this thing is coming. I wouldn't say, and neither does this article say that the anticipation is better than the thing itself, but it is really helpful. You do also have to go and do that thing so that you can continue to perpetuate the idea that this is going to be fun, and that's what provides you the opportunity to look forward to it. Uh. But paying for your vacations ahead of time, planning in advance. They talk about how they stayed at like six different places and all they had to pay was like the incidentals yeah yeah, which they ended up getting back on their card. So almost like I was thinking about you when I was reading this article, like their own version of an all inclusive by having UM pre paid all of these things. So I think that's another way to look at you know, you know, whether that's Christmas shopping or vacation planning, or you name it, something that can be down the road that you pay for now when you have the money that can help. I think the main idea is to shift from UM consume now paid later, which is how credit cards typically work UM, to something that is save, save, save, pay consume UM, So trying to shift the order in which you do things UM. The fifth one is invest in others. So research has shown that spending money on others provides a bigger happiness boost than spending money on yourself. And they did this experiment in the book Um between the researchers, they gave money to a bunch of people, and the half that spent it on other people reported feeling better overall. Um. So investing in others is such a big way that we can use our money, Uh, for us. I have always said giving is more for us than it is for the people we are giving to. And I will stand by that giving is more for the giver. And so you don't need to be an angel like you don't need to be Oh yeah, there's always ulterior mortgigs behind doing big things makes us feel good, but okay makes other people feel good. Embrace it and do more of it. Yeah, don't feel like you have to feel like a I don't know those angel investors or those people that give that are really good people. I'm a horrible person, so I don't even know what they're called. Don't even let them fool you. They're doing it because it makes them feel good. Yeah, just do more of what makes you feel good. And we know, right, we know now that that is investing in others. Research has shown that's what it is well said, and we'll get more into that even in this next article, which provides us with four tips for happy spending, and it comes from ink dot com, So we'll go through all four. Yes, and again it's it's a repeat of the first article, but I think it's worth repeating because I think that there's something behind this. And so number one says, spend spend your money on extra time, hiring a housekeeper of virtual assistance, blurge for a grocery delivery. So they reference so this is actually the science behind how spending can bring about some happiness. We don't want to just throw this concept of money doesn't buy happiness out the window when there could be some actual science behind saying, well, it can bring about some joy if we do it well. And so it referenced the study of Americans showing pretty definitely that people who value time over money me are happier than those who don't. And so they're arguing, all right, then spend your money. I'm creating more time for yourself. Chances are yeah, you'll feel good about that. You won't regret that. I will say I don't always do grocery deliveries or I don't always do the all the you know, the meal prep services, but when I do, oh my word, it's so much freedom, especially if I've budgeted for it. So please hear us that we are not talking about spending outside of your means to do these things. These are absolutely budgeted for things. But when we've done that and we see that we have maybe a little bit of discretionary income, what we might be spending on like stupid trips to target, could actually be going towards these more intentional areas. That is, that's the goal with this is to put it in your budget. Don't let mindless spending dictate how you spend your money, Essentially, like, don't wake up and wonder where your money went. Make a budget, but be intentional with putting things that have been proven to increase happiness putting those things in your budget. Um. The second one is to spend your money on great experiences. Um. So, like I was saying before, just because physical things last longer doesn't mean they bring happiness for a longer period of time. So when you're creating your budget prior to prioritize at least one experience each month, I think that's not too much to you know, to spend on like one experience to look forward to every month and then really fun to do and you can oh my gosh group on living social yelp. There's so many ways to get experiences inexpensively, um, but budget in great experiences. And when you do that number three, spend it with and on someone that you care about. So psychologists believe and this is referenced in the article that one reason experiences seem to make us happier than things is that we often share them with a friend or a partner or a family member. And so while doing free things with people you love is great, you should also budget for the cost of that. Um. But not just experiences, but with other people can bring about connection with others. And I will say, and this is another UM therapeutic tidbit. Play is so important and there's tons of studies on play. We've talked about it and books written about play. Just the amazing hormones that it releases, and especially when we play side by side with other people, it bonds us to one another. There um it helps us to have a more positive outlook on life. It increases our feelings of happiness and joy and I could go on and on, but play is so important, and I think that that is also one of the things that happens with experiences. Usually when we're spending money on experiences, they're fun, they are our version of play. And when we invite other people into that, and when we're willing to spend on that, we don't always have to pay for another person, but invite them in and if possible, if you've budgeted for it, Yeah, pay for your friend to join you, and that will increase bonding and connection, which again increases our levels of our experience of happiness and joy and life giving things. So all of this, yeah, it is rooted in some some studies, some science, some psychology that these are some ways that we can intentionally spend money. And circle act number one. If you are not finding that you have enough time to play or time to spend with people you care about or have experiences at least once a month, it maybe time to pay somebody to free up some of your time. That maybe time to really examine your budget, your work schedule, how much your side husling. Maybe you need to slow down your debt payoff um or your savings rate. It may be time to just meditate on it so that because you do not get this time back, Like it's fun to say, I paid off, you know, seventy eight thous dollars of debt in less than two years, but I don't get those two years back. So and there are things that I I wish that I had done. I for the most part, I'm super happy, um, you know with how I balanced my debt payoff, but I still have some regrets. And so you don't get that time back, you have to be okay with however you lived it. It's reminding me of this concept that you presented gen and episodes back about being your own CEO, like the CEO of your finances, and kind of thinking if a business were run that way, it would be super ineffective and inefficient if like the CEO couldn't actually get the things done that they needed to get done to move their business forward. Like once businesses reach a point where they need to hire new people, they need to recognize that like, all right, we've reached a point of capacity where now we need to hire out some of the things that we do, or we need to bring on another employee. And that's similar concept. If I'm realizing I don't have the time to do everything, then maybe it's an indicator that I've reached my capacity and my limitation and I need to bring someone else in to help. I just recently in my business, brought on a virtual assistant because I realized as that my time was more valuable working on higher level projects than you know, the menial day. Today, we just outsourced the editing of our podcast. We did. It's so so these are things that you hear about inside hustles and businesses. Um, but they are the same concepts that you should be applying to your own life to make it as effective as possible. Yea, So those are the ways. Those are our tips for happy spending. Those are the ways we believe that you can spend happiest. And I mean, if it's nothing that makes me more happy, there's literally nothing that makes me more happy every week, then the villa weed. That's right, it's time for the best minute your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. That's bill Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week. Hijn and Jill, It's Olivia calling from Denver, Colorado. My bill of the week gives a little bit of a stretch, but just bear with me. My favorite bill is actually the two dollar bills that I use when feeling at my gooter with gas. I recently purchased a Harnda Metropolitan and because the scooter gets about a hundred miles to the gallon, it only required um one gallon of gas. That's at a time. It can only hold one gallon of gas. So therefore, because of the price of gas right now, um, it only costs me about one or two dollar bills every time they need to build the tank. So there you have it. That's my favorite bill of the week. Have a great day and thanks so much for what you to do. Olivia. Olivia, this should be illegal to call in making a so jealous on so many levels. First of all, you live in Denver, Colorado. That's beautiful. Second, of all, two dollar bills. You've got your hands on some two dollar bills. Those are amazing and I don't think we've ever had that. A Third, you have a scooter, which is super fun and cool. Fourth, you only need to spend two dollars to fill up your one tank of gas to get you all over town. Fifth, your name's Olivia. That's awesome. Six How many can I get up to? I don't know where you're going. What was the name of that scooter? I'm looking at a metropolitan metropolitan. I need to see it for myself. This was amazing. It didn't even require any bearing with you. That was Oh, I love it. I'm looking at driving off into happy freedom. Oh my gosh, freedom from gas bills. If you have any adorable things that you want to call in about that have to do with a bill or maybe require a bill or something, um, please uh Man Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill and we want to hear about them, and we will celebrate with you. It's what we are best, apparently best celebrating people. It's amazing. No, it's time for lightning. You have to My child is sleeping. I just remembered that. Yeah, So we are going to share one change, um, that we've each made to spend happier, and one change we need to make. So this is one thing we've done and then one thing that we need to get better at. So um, first, one that I did. UM, and this was a big This was a big mind cluster cuss for me. UM. So is daycare. I had visions of my life of being a stay at home mom, um, work from home mom. I wanted to do it all, and then very quickly after the birth of my son, realized, like, that's not me. That's not my life, that's not my happiness. It's what I thought. Uh wasn't right, but that's just not me. So I thought it. But um, when he was four months old, UM, I put him into a private in home daycare, and part of me was sad that I felt like it was a failure UM because I couldn't mom hard enough. UM. But I realized I can make more money having by paying to put him in daycare. So I have been able to really grow my own business only because I have him in daycare four days a week. And to highlight to what you're describing for yourself as what you know is helpful to experience the different expressions of yourself, what what is helpful for your mental health, for your professional growth, for you being the best mom that you can be, Like, it's not at least what I'm hearing you say is it not just about the money aspect, but also the ways that that impacts you holistically. And I think, I mean, this is such an important thing what you're describing, because there's also the barriers of mom guilt, which is so real hotly smart um, and the different life choices that all moms make. And it does not mean that you love kai any lass because you're not a stay at home mom like holy smokes, mom of the year. Actually I'm nominating you. This is this means a lot because you saw me almost drop him on his head yesterday. No, but the thing that I wanted to focus on was the fact that you had an amazing feat of strength and like, uh, fastness, what's the word I'm looking for? Thank you in catching him like he did not fall. It was amazing. It wasn't credible to watch anyhow, not to mention that I it was my fault, but also you you have chosen what has worked best for you, which is part time. Like guy's not in daycare, Liken, No, no, child doesn't take care Tony wur seven, but he's yeah, like it's a part time thing for you. And I think that I I always am super encouraged to see people operating in their specific expressions of where their giftings lie and to be the best that they can be on all levels. And you've found that for yourself, and and I think it helps to give other people the freedom and permission to do that and not shame one another for what is chosen. Thank you, Yeah, you're welcome. Um. So for me, something that I have shifted and has my good us brought me so much happiness is giving gifts to other people. Um. This is something that we do budget for, and I will say it's something I've always desired to do, but finances for a long time we're not there. Like I was so desirous of even just small things like knowing it someone's birthday. It's probably my love language, I suppose, like wanting to give people things because I know it makes me feel good. Like I'm not Mother Theresa here. Um, that's who I was trying to think out. Oh thank you, But honestly this is an unpopular opinion probably, but Mother Theresa felt good for doing the things that she did. You know she did so yeah anyhow, uh, and just refusing to feel guilty about it. And because this does satisfy something for me, like I am able to go shopping, pick up like all the cute things that I see at the store, but then give them to somebody else. So like I get to shop, I get to buy cute things, and then I give it to somebody else and it's just like win win win across the board. Um. And I I just I refused to feel that like shopping guilt for that because of the value that it places on other people and the fact that I have the money to do that, I have allotted for it. So, oh my gosh, here's something. You should go to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash raise and get a gift card for somebody. Yeah, that's a great I mean you get free a five three dollars by using our referral code and then give that to somebody. Oh my word, give it forward. Everybody in the Frugal Friends could do it. Oh my gosh. We'll put forth and back and forth. Yeah, we'll post the link in there. That's set. Okay, that's that done. It's done. Is done to your next what she needs to my next thing. One chain that I want to make is to increase my giving. Um, I want to give more to more organizations doing work that I think is necessary. But more so I want to give to more people in my community. Uh, Like we need to feel connected right now. And I may not have a big income compared to some people, but it's big compared to others. And so I want to use what I've been blessed with to encourage others. And I had a I just made a YouTube video recently about like ways that you can give without having a lot of money and like to vote with your dollar. And one of the things that I remember really significantly when I was a broke college student is that I would, Um, I went to go get gas several times at this gas station and there would be just twenty dollars on the pump, just prepaid, and so like as a broke college student, that made such a big impact having twenty in my tank. Um, And so like it's stuff like that, Like I want to do that for people, um, and I have, I've done it before, but like I want to be more intentional and not wondering, not stressing so much of like whether I give money to the person on the side of the road, Like what are they going to do with it? Are they going to use it efficiently? And effectively like who the heck cares I've I've stopped caring about that. That that cannot be Like I'm going to give you money, and it's not like it's not up to me with what you're going to do with that, Like I don't have to, but like if I want to, I'm going to and I'm not going to second guess myself. Yeah. Absolutely, Also, uh so for me, you have a more altruistic goal and money you already have, You're already doing the altruistic for you. Whatever, No, you're you're better your Okay. I want this is more like a perspective shift more than it is something that's like actually, like this is already happening. I just want to change my perspective on it. So like ordering out and allowing myself to have a higher food budget guilt free, so I can feel so much comparison when I see people in the personal finance space talking about, hello, is your grocery budget? What's everybody's food budget? I mean, it is one of our biggest areas of spending and where we want terrain and spending. So it's such a hot topic and people are talking about it all the time of oh, for for a couple, I spend fifty dollars a month, and I'm just like, oh my word, I'm nowhere near that. I am so beyond that amount of money. But yet I recognize where my life season is and how first of all, just like stressed and annoyed and frustrated, I get at why we have to eat three meals a day. I mean, I've cut it down to two and some days down to one, but like, why you're so thin? That's sickening. It's just I'm so tired of thinking about food. And then every time I do think about food, then I just take it even further where I think I have to do this for the rest of my life, Like I'm already done with it in my thirties and I potentially have forty more years of needing to think about food every single days. Like that, That's where it's at for me. Not bad it is. I like food, don't get me wrong, but to think about I've got to go grocery shopping. I've got a meal plant, I've got to prep it, I've got to cook it, I got to clean up after it. I gotta then think about what are we doing the next day, it's just like, oh my goodness, I can't on top of everything else that I'm doing. So anyhow, what I'm saying is wanting to give myself the permission that, hey, my food budget is a lot higher, but I have budgeted for it, and and my food budget, to be fair, includes everything. It includes all my beverages, my eating out, my dining in, my groceries, it's everything. But yes, it is higher than fifty a month, higher than for yourself. Yeah, and I think I just need the permits I need to just experience the permission of this is what I've budgeted for, I have the money to do it. This is where my values are. This is what helps free up time for me to do the things that I want to do. This is how I'm going to feed myself, at least for the season. I mean, it's much better than saying than you know, meal planning out seven dinners for the week, but always failing, you know, twice a week, and then you feel the guilt and instead just budget it in and let go of the guilt, give yourself great. The cycle I get into is I'll go and I'll get a ton of stuff from the grocery store and then halfway through the week, I don't have the capacity for it. So then I'm also ordering out, and then it's just like, well, this is ridiculous because now I have gone grocery shopping and I'm eating out, and that's where it's not okay, and it goes beyond. So and if this is somewhere that you're trying to rain in, So if you're more like me, and you're just like I love to think about my next meal after my last meal, then then try and get creative, like with your budgets. So give yourself grace, go slowly. Um, but then maybe maybe next month you keep the same food budget, but you think about how you can work more creatively with it. So try to eat out. Uh, you know, increase you're eating out without increasing your spending. So gamify it. There's nothing wrong with gamifying how you do frugality. And I'm so goodness when I say that. What I'm doing is I'm picking up Chick fil a chicken fingers and I'm putting it on lettuce that I did buy from the grocery store. But that to be guilt free about it versus in my mind where all goes I should have made that chicken myself. I should have gone to the meat market where I can get discounted chicken. And I should have done all And I not right now, maybe eventually, but and and it serves with seasons because chicken, my chicken is good like it's delicious. I learned that that one of their secrets is marinating their chicken and pickled juice, dill pickled juice. It's true. So if you need one more thing on your plate, um, marinate your chicken, don't pickle juice. If if that's what brings you joy. Yeah, thanks so much for listening. Guys, we hope that this episode inspired you to have a little more grace with yourself and to use your money to spend more money, spend it more wisely. Uh So, we talk a lout about spending less and saving money, but uh there there's a time for everything. Um and we just have to have wisdom to be as balanced as possible, and that is the ultimate goal. Um so. And then also thank you for reviewing the show leaving helpful reviews. Um I especially liked this one from t This is one of the best reviews that I have ever If you can top this review, I will read your review. It's passes the Beck dol Phi drinking game test, which I do not know if that was a real I think they did. I'm fine with that. You can make up your own things for these um So the review is not only are these wonderful ladies so fun and down to earth as they explore all matters of finance for everyday people, but they also pass what I call the Beck dol Phi drinking game tests and f I s financial independence. So if you're wondering, this particular test requires you to listen to a financial podcast and every time a host or guest says the word savvy, you have to take a drink. If you can listen for longer than five minutes without succumbing to alcohol poisoning, then that podcast passes the Bechtel five drinking game test. Really, I I'm obsessed with whoever you are. Really, though, it's refreshing to hear straight talk from folks that speak to the listener like you are a friend. And I'm super glad that you think that you're our friend, because you are, and we are speaking to a group of talk down to earth talk. I don't know how else to talk to you. But also, yeah, savvy is never a word that I use. No often, I will say sometimes when I post on Instagram, I will hashtag savvy, but that's also because I don't know how to use Instagram. I'm sorry, I'm not as true Nail. Oh my god, it's so real, yeah real, how bad you are Instagram? I guess I don't. So here's here's another admission. I don't listen to a lot of podcasts, but I have one, and so I didn't realize how popular the word savvy is among female liked saying it. You're going to get someone out there drunk, and that's on you. Two shots is you're You're going to be fine. We also want to thank our friends who share these episodes on social media. So when you share the latest episode and tag us on Facebook or Instagram, we will add you to our monthly drawing. And so for every tag, every five tags or reviews that we get each month, we give away a ten dollar Amazon gift cards. Those odds are really good, like one in five, so that means if we get ten, we're giving away too a gift card. And you guys, like, not a lot of people do this. It's amazing that we're talking about this first. So we have a good amount of reviews, but each month, like yeah, not a lot of people send them. Um. And then it's email. You have to send us a screenshot of your review or tag us at Frugal Friends podcasts on Insta or Facebook so that we get the tag um and and you would be surprised how few people do this. But you could get ten dollars for doing this every single month. So you know, yeah, give it, give it a try, give it a try. And so with your ten dollar Amazon gift card, maybe you buy Happy Money the book. Maybe you don't, you buy what you want. Maybe you buy ten to your your Raise gift cards and then you just like you keep building it on top of itself. I don't know. Yeah right, yeah, but you have to use your own money on Raise to use an Amazon gif curR. Well you'll figure it out. Thanks for listening, don't forget to tag us on social and email us your screen. Shops by Frugal Friends is produced, edited and mixed by Eric Seria. Um. I had to look up what the Beck Dol test was because I'm a horrible feminist. Um, do you you know you don't know what the back Doel tests, How bad am I? You're right up the same as me. So the back Dol test is in a movie. Um, if a movie has a scene where two women are in a room having a conversation and that conversation is not about a man, that passes the back Doel test, Okay, I have heard this. Yeah, And you can literally have twenty seconds, a twenty second scene with like five seconds of dialogue, and your movie can pass the Bechdel test um like any scene, even if other scenes have two women in them not talking about No, you're the movie in its entirety only has to one scene with two women in a room without any men and they're not talking about any So it's it's very easy. Wow, Yeah, it seems easy. But I'm sure i'd be shocked at how few movies pass the time you might. Yeah, there's still movies that still don't pass, that come out and still don't pass the Becktel test. So and then there are movies like like all the New Star Wars movies, those all pass the Bechtel test, But you don't think of them. I mean, I guess now now you do. With that's strong because they're talking about like monsters instead, yeah, I guess, or just like life robots and stuff is what two females would be talking about. Just because they're like not gendered, then it counts, like what do females talk about if not men? Savvy savvy savvy things. See Yeah,