People that are frugal are frequently labeled as bad tippers or cheap. When the pandemic struck, tipping became a hot topic, sparking deeper and more complex discussions about gratuity. As your best frugality companions, we'd like to dispel the idea that we're bad tippers. This episode will help you become a better tipper by making you wiser and more well-informed about it.
๐๏ธ Get full show notes here!
https://bit.ly/3pUimsd
๐ Want to save money and spend better in just 5 minutes?
https://www.frugalfriendspodcast.com/friendletter
๐ Get our FREE Modern Frugal Living eBook here!
https://www.frugalfriendspodcast.com/ebook
๐ฃ Submit your bill of the week and get a shoutout from us
https://www.frugalfriendspodcast.com/bill-of-the-week/
๐ธ Check out our monthly challenge community
http://www.frugalfriendspodcast.com/club
๐๐ผ Subscribe for more on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/frugalfriends
๐๐ผ Hang out with us on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/frugalfriendspodcast/
Episode three twenty four, How Much Should You Tip?
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and live your life here your hosts Jen and Jill.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and today we are talking about tipping. Love it or hate it, it is, It exists. You can't deny it, you can't say you don't believe in it, because it is here, and frugal people get a bad rap when it comes to tipping. It's where I think most of us might get called cheap on. When you think of a frugal person negatively, I think a lot of the times the first thing that comes to mind is they're bad tippers. And we want to debunk that myth. We want to be good tippers in the best way possible, so that means being wise with our tipping and knowing about it. I learned so much from these articles that we're going to cover today, and so I'm really excited to share that with you guys.
Yeah, it feels a little dangerous not gonna lie to talk about tipping well, and because there's also so much chatter about it currently what the pandemic did to tipping, and how it feels like places you didn't even used to tip now tip, which is why a lot of people are asking this question, and also because there was a time when people thought that we gave advice not to tip. We never did that. Never did we ever do that. You'll hear us reference first. This episode is brought to you by the Dream. We don't normally partner with American singer songwriter record producers, but if you're shorty as a ten and you love her, you should tip her. If she's a dime, yeah, you should definitely tip her. If she's making you eggs and grits in the morning, or even better yet, pancakes with the bacon on the side, you should tip her. And listen, we're doing all that and more in our newsletter these dime pieces over here, Jen and I, we've got all of the scoop and the hacks for you on free food, tips for spending, tips for saving, and so much more. It's called the friend Letter, and it's free, but you can tip us by subscribing. Check it out at Frugal friendspodcast dot com slash friend Letter. You're not going to want to miss out on that.
Yes, you don't actually have to tip us money or any percent. There's no moneylved, zero percent, twenty percent of zero.
I want to show.
Your kindness to us by subscribing.
Yes, I and Jill, I know this for a fact that this is one of your favorite songs.
You love all.
When I was doing this sponsor, I pulled up the song while looking at the lyrics and I definitely had a dance party in my office chair to the song. Mm hm, I believe that she's so dumb you should tip copy.
Right, all right?
So if this is something that you tipping, is this something you encounter a lot of stress with very frequently, then you're probably making a lot of purchases devices that turn around and ask you to tip them. Maybe they have just made you eggs and grits in the morning, and you should probably tip then, But there are a lot of.
Times you shouldn't.
So we have a couple episodes on eating food, Yeah, just a couple. One of our favorites is episode two forty seven, how to Save Money on food takeout specific it's take out Tips edition. And then if you're trying to eat out less, check out two sixty two meal prep and freezer meal tips. But we have so many food episodes. I think half of our episodes are food episodes. Not really, but it feels like, so this is something that comes up a lot. But we're not just going to talk about restaurants cafes. We are going to cover the gamut of places that you should tip, places that ask you to tip. Where we're covering it. And these are from like etiquette experts, from hospitality experts, people in the industry. We're not These are not things that we're making up. You know, we scour the Internet for what's out there, and we are discerning what Google has decided is the best of the best. You know, sometimes we agree, sometimes we don't. But I'm very pleased with these two articles, and I learned a lot. So let's get into the first one. And it is from Real Simple, and it's the ultimate guide to tipping etiquette in every situation and when not to tip. And so these articles also are written in twenty twenty three, or at the least updated in twenty twenty three, so these are not antiquated.
These are real time, up to date.
I love their intro sentence, Tipping is like blockchain and Brexit, important but super confusing, which I can relate to. And again, especially in today's current circumstances, where it feels like tipping etiquette maybe has even shifted a bit from what it was five years ago. And of course we're talking from the perspective of being in the United States, where I know that there's plenty of other countries where it's not as common, but for us here, again, love it or hate it, it is a reality and it is how many people in the service industry are able to make a decent living. It really stinks that there are some states that allow their workers to earn only like two dollars and fifteen cents an hour and they're really banking on tips for their wages. That stinks. But our pushback on that should not be not tipping, because these are real individuals working hard to give us a service and it needs to be budgeted in or planned for in our spending plan. And we're going to start out in this article talking about the times and places where you absolutely do need to tip. These are some non negotiables.
Yes and how much and how to discern. So the first place you always need to tip is at a restaurant, so the average is from fifteen to twenty percent. This Robin Di Pietro, PhD of Hospitality and Retail says, you could do fifteen percent for average service, twenty percent for very good service regardless of the level of service. Gratuity is non negotiable. And as a former server, I would so I know that there are some some people who are like twenty percent across the board, whether the service is good or bad. I would say my only pushback when I was a server, I would get kind of upset when somebody who was like serving their tables, spending all their time in the back talking to the cooks, I'm like refilling their people's drinks and like pre bussing for them, like they would get twenty percent and the same percentage as I would, and not taking a consideration they were like barely out on the floor and I'm like, you know, standing around babysitting almost. So I think it's not rude that if your service is poor to do.
Eighteen and I'm not that was probably like yeah, right, hot take, hot take today, right, but it's it is, really And you can tell the difference between poor service and somebody who's very busy and who doesn't have time to babysit you, like, look around the restaurant if it's packed and your server, you see your server at three or four other tables. You're not getting a water refill when your drink is half full. Like, that's unreasonable to expect from somebody, and that is unfortunately where most service professionals are today. They have probably table like a table count that is above what they should. Uh So it's not poor service if your table is not babysat. But if you don't see your server for like the entirety of.
The meal and you're waiting around really long times and the you know, the restaurant is not packed, then that's a different story. Most of the time, that's not the case. I would say that's kind of like a ten to that's probably like a twenty percent. You know, eighty percent of the time, your server's overworked and they're not giving you poor service, they're just not able to babysit your table.
Alternatively, the way I approach this, because we're not the same person, is I am a twenty percent across the board when it comes to restaurants, and if you are phenomenal, I might do twenty five percent. There have been time I've even been known to do thirty person.
And that's another that's like a surprise and delight.
Like if you as a surprise and delight.
Yeah, and there have been times where I have gotten service that has really exceeded what is required for their job, and yeah, I'll do twenty five or thirty for sure if that server is awesome.
I love to do that.
And this is where it coincides with values based spending. For me, it is going out to eat and it is generosity. And so when I'm able to do that with the as I'm going out to eat and interacting with people in the service industry, it's a really wonderful thing for me to know, I this is part of my spending plan. I can do this and be guilt free about the fact that now I've just spent even more in going out to eat to yeah, pace one for a job well done. So I enjoy it. I think it's kind of fun to tip, but it certainly does impact my decisions of how often can I go out, because you are going to for me, I have to factor in for a sit down restaurant an extra twenty percent and if that's not worth it to me, then that means I'm cooking at home myself. It doesn't mean I'm cheating someone out of a good wage.
Amen.
Okay, So then they also are moving into talking about how much to tip at a bar. I did find this one interesting and helpful, where they're chatting about if you're just kind of hanging out ordering drinks at just a bar, that going for more flat rate amounts could be a good idea. So leaving a dollar for a beer two dollars for a cocktail could be a really nice way of tipping. Usually that I guess that would be probably close to twenty percent. I think it's recognizing thating a beer is not as labor intensive as making a cocktail, which is one of the reasons I like kind of want to just go work at a brewery. You just get it off the wall, hand it to people, and you still make tips. I love it.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
I think the only caveat there is if you're out a brewery and you taste like ten different beers from like ten different taps, and you really are taking up a lot of the bartender's time, then maybe you tip two dollars, because while that's not as like skill intensive, it is time intensive where they could be getting another beer for somebody else in the time you've taken to like decide.
Which one you have, which one you want.
The next one is how much to tip for a taxi or ride share And I always I never am like fully sure on this one, so I was glad to have a general rule. So the general rule for tipping in cab is fifteen to twenty percent per taxi ride, which usually equates to a dollar or two. For ride shares like Uber and Lyft, tip at least two dollars per ride. And that's from a former Uber driver and the director of outreach at Ridester, Jonathan Cussar. He's an online resource for ride share drivers. So that will be my rule of thumb from here on out. And I'm sure it also would depend on the length of the ride share two, but even if it's a short distance, at least two dollars per ride.
The next one on here is how much to tip at a hotel And this does fall under the necessary too tip category, and so they give a recommendation of leaving about two to three dollars per day for housekeeping, referencing the fact that in many hotels, the housekeeper who cleans your room one day is not necessarily the same for the following day, So leaving a tip day today ensures that whoever is there in your room that day is getting that tip. They also give a recommendation that if you're staying with kids or pets, consider leaving a few extra bucks because you're probably making a little bit more of a mess, more of a labor intensive job for the person. I will say personally, I did not know that you were supposed to tip at a hotel until like much like very recently, so catching myself feeling very bad, I didn't. I didn't grow up going to a ton of hotels, but when we did as a family, that wasn't something that I saw my parents do. And maybe this is a relatively newer thing, maybe not. I don't know. I didn't know. Now I know, so I'm responsible with that knowledge. But in other articles I've also read someone talk about between ten to fifteen percent of your stay per night would be potentially a nice tip as well, although that would be a lot more than two to three dollars a day, So I don't know.
Yeah, and that's considering if you have housekeeping come daily, you can always put the sign on the door and they won't come and then you don't have to do that tip. But I didn't realize that it was you should do it per day because there's different housekeepers. I guess I realized that, but until reading this, I was like, oh my gosh, yes, like duh, so I usually don't have housekeepers come into my room daily, so don't I've never like really worried about that, but definitely yeah, at the end.
At the end of this day, Yeah, I don't usually do housekeeping throughout this stay. But then when I'm leaving now that I know, leaving behind some money as like the one time.
Yes, next is hair and nail salons. So and I learned something new on this because growing up, my mom would say, like to tip ten percent, but this article says a fifteen percent tip is the going rate at most salons. So that is like, I'm glad that I know that because growing up that was like what I was taught. It was like ten percent, and I didn't know any different.
So well, I want to know that now. I looked this up because I only get my hair cut once a year, and I think I might have shared this on a previous podcast. I up until last year, had never gotten paid to get my haircut out of salon. So I was surprised by kind of a lot of the experience and including meaning to know, well, how much should I tip? And I was googling this and I found a lot of articles even saying twenty percent now is the going rate at hair and nail salons. And I will say that when I went to this salon and I paid for the haircut, then they flip their little machine around and they didn't even have an option, you know, you're kind of quick options for how much to tip. They didn't have an option for anything less than twenty percent like they And I see a lot of places doing this now where they're kind of setting the standard for what they're hoping you tip them, and less than twenty percent I am not seeing on a lot of these point of sales, like you can't press the fifteen percent button. You could press the other button and then insert your own amount. But sometimes that can feel like you're under pressure and there's a time constraint and it's like, yeah, I'm taking now extra time to tip you less than twenty percent now, and that's usually a shenanigan I don't want get involved in, but it really is quite shocking to see that kind of everywhere across the board is expecting twenty percent or more.
Yeah, which is why this is such a big topic right now, which is why we're talking about it because in in the you know, the pandemic times, when things were the most rough for these tipped like professions, it was you were like doing a service for these people, and it was if you're going out and if you are blessed enough to like have money, then give back to these people who were out of jobs for six months or more. And now that we're kind of back to we are spending on these services is back to pre pandemic levels some I mean some industries even more, I think, so we kind of have to take a step back and reset.
Right.
It's not being stingy, it's not being greedy. It's taking a time to not just reset, but also reevaluate the institution of tipping, the things that have been allowed to happen, the greed that's been allowed to happen by these companies that are allowed to pay their employees two dollars an hour because they're relying on their customers to foot that bill. So that's another reason we need to re examine tipping, because we need to be looking at these systems that have perpetuated this and realize it's not on us and our tipping to fix this problem. There are other ways that we need to be intentional, and we'll touch on that a little later.
But again, it's not to say don't tip right right a mac problem with a micro level solution like hurting the person who just provided you the service, but it's worth having a bigger conversation about for sure. Yeah, okay, So the next one is tipping a babysitter or nanny. The still is falling under the category of necessary two tips. So even though you may have agreed on an hourly rate with your sitter already, rounding up would be a nice gesture so they're not necessarily giving a percentage. But let's say your total for an evening comes to forty five dollars based on the hourly rate you agreed upon, it's a kind gesture to give them a flat fifty rather than the exact forty five. So just kind of rounding up a few dollars, five dollars, seven dollars, whatever it is, would be a nice thing to do from time to time. Now, if you have a regular nanny, they are recommending giving an end of year bonus that would be equal to about one to two weeks of pay the equivalent of that amount as a gift to them at the end of the year.
Yeah, So this is primarily for maybe like a care dot com or somewhere where you don't set the price for your babysitter, because you can just be generous in how you pay and then you get better babysitters.
But also I would say whether.
Or not whether you're hiring them yourself or through a service. If something goes down while you're out and this babysitter or nanny handles it while you're gone, and so that you don't have to handle it when you get back, tip you got you have to tip for that. If the dog poops in the house and the babysitter cleans it up, and that's like not their job, right, so you have to tip for stuff. If the baby throws up, if something happens that is outside of the scope of just what like sitting there and you know, making your kid, making sure your kid doesn't annihilate themselves deserves a tip. Like they are not your child's parent, so definitely throw them extra money for handling problems that are really parent level, not babysitter level. And this would include senior caregivers too. If you're caring for a parent and you hire a granny.
Nanny, yes, definitely necessary. Anyone who's caring for your loved ones tip them.
Yes, okay.
And so the last one on the mandatory list, I know.
I just lets it out because I'm like, who's doing this? None of us are.
Writing this is coad check. Very few people do a coat check, but general rule is one dollar per coat, two dollars for a larger bag. I don't know if maybe that's like I have checked a suitcase if I'm going out somewhere, so I would think maybe this is more applicable for a bag check.
Two dollars for a larger bag. That's kind of the going rate.
Yeah, Well for all the wealthy people listening who do coat checks and bag checks.
Yeah, but then there's some gray areas and these are not not mandatory, and even the different articles will disagree on these and.
We'll have our own opinions.
Yes. So the first gray area is food delivery. How much to tip for food delivery? Now, to me, this isn't gray area like, oh, you don't have to. I feel like it's more gray area of how much too, because it's not necessarily that you have to tip fifteen to twenty percent on the price of the food for the person delivering the food, like they should still get a fair wage regardless of whether you just spent three dollars on your food or fifty dollars on the food that they're to you. But they're referencing how most delivery apps are going to let you tip within the app, which is different from a delivery fee, not the same. You can't pretend like you've already tipped them because there's just a fee that I think usually goes to the app itself. I don't know that that necessarily even goes to the driver. They're saying that a fair amount would usually be about three to five dollars per delivery. I do think you're going to need to take into consideration how far away was the food that they picked up and brought to you. What is the circumstances, Like is it snowing outside, is it raining? Is it the type of environment that you would not want to be out in, and yet you're making someone else be out in it. Maybe tip a little bit more. If it's a lot of bags, a lot to carry in, they're going to have to make multiple trips to and from their car to your door. These are the types of things that would add on additional amounts of money to that tip. But it seems as though you can do kind of like a flat rate for the delivery of about three to five and more if there's more things that are being required of the delivery driver.
And then the other gray area is coffee shop. This surprised me right well, this is the place where I see the tipping you know thing most often, and this is the place where, in my soul I feel like the most burdened because making a latte is similar to making a cocktail depending on the type of latte you're getting, So it makes sense depending on what you're ordering, how complex your order is. If you've got a quite complex order, then you should probably be tipping. So they say rounding up to the nearest dollar on your coffee run is not necessary, but it's a nice gesture, especially if you have a regular or a barista that maybe like knows your order gets you in there and out of there quickly. So if you have exemplary service, again tip, or if you've got a barista that's doing latte art, or maybe you're traveling and your breista gives you a great recommendation for you know where to go, then go ahead and do like a twenty percent or you know, one or two dollars. And this is from the Emilio Bartadano, the founder of Eleva Coffee in Brooklyn, New York. So that's from a coffee shop owner.
So this one was really surprising to me. And I did see this corroborated in multiple articles where they referred to coffee shops like a counter service and how tipping at a counter service is not necessary. It's generally a employees of counter service type establishments generally earn a hourly wage. It's not the situation where they're getting paid you two dollars and fifty cents and relying on tips. Now, again, it is a nice gesture. This is just what was surprising to me. I was kind of thinking, like, of course, at coffee shops and ice cream places and bakeries. But what I'm reading, just as far as etiquette goes again not from me, from other people on the internet saying it's not necessary. I don't know what I mean. I don't think it's totally going to impact the decisions I end up making when I go to these coffee shops. I do like to tip, but I did not realize that just because they flip the point of sale around and say give me twenty percent on the screen, that it's not actually like a necessary thing to do. But I think that again, ice cream shops, bakeries would probably fall under a similar category of counter service.
Yeah, I think so. Like Starbucks, that's counter service to me. If you're going to a fancy coffee shop with the latte art and the housemade syrups, the barises have to make those. So I think it depends on the complexity of the coffee. Honestly, like I don't frequent fancy coffee shops, I'm not picky. I get cold brew with Starbucks.
And I took my nephew to one of those yogurt places where you serve yourself the frozen yogurt and the toppings and then you pay by weight, and so sure, the people behind the counter put out the supplies and they're just there to make sure that the place doesn't get robbed and their gummies don't get stolen. But other we did not interact with them whatsoever. You walk in, you get your cup, you get your own thing, you put your own toppings on, and it's not until you put it on the scale that they then say, here's how much you owe me. And then again to flip around the screen and to have twenty percent tip be the lowest possible option. I felt like I was in a personal dilemma at that point. I'm looking at this person on the other side, thinking, oh goodness, how responsible am I for your wage in this circumstance. I'm not going to reveal what I did because I don't need I don't need emails. But it did feel like that gray area of man, I know that you've done something here, but twenty percent.
Yeah, yeah, Well, let's transition to a few tipping dilemmas. Okay, so we're going to cover two tipping dilemmas and what this article has to say before we move on to when it's okay not to tip. So the first is if you are not satisfied with your service, And so I already talked about like, and I can have more discernment about this as a former server and bartender and host than somebody who's never been in the service industry, right, so I can have more of an intuition on when like, I'm not satisfied with the service. I think if you don't really understand the like what goes behind the scenes, it's harder. Like, it's easier to say I'm not satisfied, but do you really are your expectations too high? And I don't think, honestly for our listeners, like, I don't think that's most of your problems. I think everybody just wants to be so kind to the people serving them, but there there are times like maybe your stylist cut a few more inches than you asked, or your server brought out the wrong entree twice. The solution isn't like to stiff them on the tip. It's to speak up, let them know you're not happy. And I know that's going to be outside of the comfort zone for a lot of people. A lot of people don't like to do that, But so anybody can make a mistake you're not like getting somebody in trouble by by voicing what the mistake was. Well, hopefully if they're may if they have a series of mistakes, then you might, but that's not on you. And then they say this etiquette expert says that it is fine to tip less than you normally would, but it's not okay to not tip. They say as little as ten percent. Like my lowest if I receive service that's really bad is fifteen. But like I'm a standard twenty percenter, because nine times out of ten the service I get is twenty percent. You know it's good service. It's very rare that I'm not satisfied with service.
Yeah, the next option or dilemma that can happen is the server's hovering over your bill, and so it's okay to ask for a little bit of privacy while you crunch some numbers to say thank you, I'll give it back to you shortly. I've not tried this one, especially with those digital point of sales that they just bring to your table and they're like, all right, you're ready for the check and they can take your credit card right there. I find those situations to be a little I don't know. I get flustered when they're right there, they're taking your credit card on the spot and you just have to pick a number that's on the screen. Not that I don't ever go below twenty percent, but sometimes I'd like some time to kind of think about it and yeah, do I want to give twenty five percent? Like is that? Do I want to go above and beyond? But I've never asked them. Can you leave this digital point of sale here and give me time? Eh? Maybe I could.
Yeah, It's it's easier when you have kids and you can like focus on them and be like, oh, just leave this here and I'll take care of it in a second.
My kid is it's crazy.
So they're crazy.
Yeah.
The last one on this list that I think is probably my favorite one and is the most realist is the person you're with tips poorly and so the sad the article says, the sad truth is not everyone is a fair tipper, and you can if you are. If you are on a bat this is this is going to happen on a bad date for sure, and this is how you know you're you're not with you're not with the right person. But you can speak up and say I'm happy to con tribute a little bit to the tip, or even offer to cover the tip. And if speaking up isn't an option, then and they say, say you're with your boss, your boss is a horrible tipper, and you want to make sure your server gets paid fairly, excuse yourself to the restroom, and then discreetly hand the server some cash.
I love that one.
I love that recommendation a plus, real simple.
It, Jen. I have a story that we can cut out if you're not comfortable with it. But there was a time when we went out to eat and you were not pleased with the service, understandably, so the waitress treated you definitely a lot differently than the rest of us. It wasn't a good experience. Mostly for you. You decided to tip, as you've already said, like, if you're not pleased, you'll do eighteen percent. And I think that that's what happened. And then once you got up to leave, I did leave a few extra dollars on the table because I felt that, wow, I'm so sorry I eighteen percent.
It's not I mean, if you received if you felt you received like better service, like, then that's you raising your nut.
That's true.
That's true.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't remember this situation, but it is because you wouldn't have known one hundred Well, no, I don't remember, like receiving bad it's like a it's I just saw a snl skit where there's girls all at the table and the server picks out one girl to treat really poorly.
And treats all the other ones. I was like, was I that girl?
It was a female server, and they really they weren't doing their best that day. I totally understood. You didn't stiff them. You just stood by your principle of and you did complain. You did all of these steps. You were like, hey, I'm not pleased with this. It wasn't corrected, and so you did eighteen percent and I still felt bad. Wow.
I'm probably got that gumption from my mother in law, who we cannot go out with her without her complaining about something to the manager.
So don't be that person.
Like, if you're complaining about something to a manager every time you go out, the problem is not the service, it's you. That's and that is my mother in law. I love her to death, but I hate going out with her, and I probably it was probably going out with her too much in that season, and that season we'll say that it's that it was probably before I realized what the problem was. So no, we tip.
How many times we say we you could have a drinking game on this episode of how often we say we tip? We budget for tipping, we get.
We get one negative content, We have one negative feedback, and now we're overcompensating, which is always what happens when you receive negative feedback.
You overcompensate.
Exactly forget the ten good receptions ten good things people say.
So this article is coming from CNBC and it's titled tired of Tipflation. Five times It's okay not to tip according to etiquette experts. No one wants to take the responsibility for saying That's like even CNBC is like according to etiquette experts, and we're like, according to the Internet and etiquet experts, we're not making this up. But here's the times when they are saying you do not need to tip. And the first one is professionals. Now that seems a little bit unfair because people who work in the service industry are professionals. But what they mean by this are doctors, lawyers. Now I'm going to push back on some of these, but I'll read off to you what they say. They're listing doctors, lawyers, teachers, plumbers, cable technicians, also therapists. Unfortunately, it's like against ethics to tip a therapist, which is unfortunate. Sorry, they're saying that it could be seen as a bribe or some sort of way to curry favor with these individuals. But I'm going to push back, particularly on the teachers and the plumbers. The teachers maybe not like a monetary gift, but I feel like gift giving is very welcomed, very accepted, a very kind gesture throughout the year, especially at the end of the year. Giving teacher gifts of some sort could be in the form of a gift card or something else that you know about the teacher that they may like. That I would kind of equate to something similar to tipping. And then for people like plumbers or those in the construction industry, I wouldn't say it's a must have, but I wouldn't say it's an unacceptable on ethical thing to do to tip your service providers who are in those kind of like residential professional roles that the trades. I think you can tip a plumber, an electrician, a tree removal surface.
Yeah, I agree, especially with teachers. I think teachers deserve all the bribes like and honestly them.
Yeah, I mean kids educations on the line.
Exactly, and not just bribe them to treat your child better, but bribe them to because children are insane and it's worth throwing your teacher an extra fifty dollars gift card throughout the year. It's I mean, I'll talk to my friends who are teachers and say, like, how, like what kind of gifts do you get? Like get like what And she's like, oh, I'll get like a five dollars Starbucks gift card at Christmas or like just like really small things. And I was like, man, I've heard your stories of your kindergarteners, like you deserve one hundred dollars Public's gift card from each of their parents for what you put up with. And I will stand by that. I'll stand by that you should always bribe your kids teachers as much as possible.
It's not prising, it's showing appreciation.
You should show a bright sorry, show appreciation to our teachers. Yeah, more than you think so just think back to how much you paid for daycare, or if you didn't pay for daycare, ask your friend how much they paid for daycare, and your still getting a good deal. We're still getting a good deal, all right. Next is counter service. So we touched on this a little that it's not required to tip at counter service. The people working a counter are earning a wage. If there's a person at a counter in a restaurant, they should be earning a wage because they are not serving tables. And so this is the one piece of negative feedback we got on tipping was that I so, I used to work at a restaurant as a host before I started serving, and I would do takeout orders. But I was a host and I got an hourly wage, so I didn't expect tips for doing the takeout orders I got. I got tips all the time, which was really greatly appreciated, but I didn't expect them. And so unless I'm doing like a catering order, I don't tip on takeout. And so I got a lot of backlash on that, saying like that servers are doing these takeout counters, and honestly, servers should not be doing takeout counters in my opinion, does it happen, I don't know, and unfortunately there's no way for you to tell, so we're kind of in this gray area, right, So, like you don't know if the person at the counter handing you your takeout is making ten dollars an hour or two dollars an hour.
I guess I've generally the way I've approached it and understood it, not just based off of my own decision making, but through reading is with takeout, it might be acceptable to do like a ten percent tip because it is still different from sitting down where they are coming to your table regularly, bussing, giving you refills, all of these things where you're going to pay twenty percent for takeout. If you do tip, a ten percent tip is very kind.
Yeah, and even as a host, like it is more labor intensive to run the takeout counter than it is to just be at the host stand, So I would tip in that sort of like example. But if I'm going to Chipotle, I'm not going to tip because that person should be paid a livable wage.
And like that's a whole other.
If you're if you're if you're fatigued by all the tipping conversation. Then this is something that you should be thinking about when you're like voting, when you're thinking about legislation and looking into what legislation is happening, like regarding minimum wage.
It is wild to me what we think, Oh yeah, definitely tip at the counter. But if your cashier at the grocery restore flipped the point of sale around and said, all right, give me a tip, we'd be like, what is this? We don't tip here? But how is that any different from counter service at these other places where where their role is to bring you up among other things. But yeah, it's because into this speaking of the counter service though, at a coffee shop, I went in and did not get a warm drink. I just got a bag of coffee and they turned it around and like asked for a tip, And in that situation, I will boldly say I did not because I just purchased a bag of coffee like I would at a grocery store. I'm like, I don't feel as though I need to tip on purchasing bagged coffee like my groceries. I if you're making me a cappuccino one hundred percent, you'll get you'll get your extra money. But there's this we weird thing that is happening now when it's becoming so common that there still are certain things that we don't tip for, like buying groceries.
Mm hmm.
Yeah, So needless to say, like, as you think about what your opinions are on legislature around the minimum wage, it doesn't mean that you don't tip. Like so if there's a gray area, like you don't know if the person doing your takeout is a tipped worker or a minimum wage worker, you assume they're a tipped worker and you tip them. But there are some places that you go where you know that person is making a minimum wage and it's above you know, the minimum wage isn't saying much, it's it's been the same since two thousand and nine. It's just north of seven bucks. So so still like that's enough. You know, there are things I can say on it, but we'll move on. Use your discretion, do what feels right.
To you in those situations.
The next one on here is open bar events. I have always been a little confused and wondering about this. So this is what the etiquette experts say that if you go to an event with an open bar. The bar stuff may or may not put out a tip jar, so that can be an indicator for you. If there's not a tip jar out, it's generally acceptable that you do not have to tip. Usually the person who is paying for that event is responsible for that tip. So, whether it's a wedding or an event of some sort, if they've hired this bartending or catering company, they are paying the over arching tip for their services. Of Course, it's still going to be welcomed if you want to thank the bartender for their heavy poor or you asked for a cup of ice or water, or you're making multiple visits. Of course, a dollar here, a dollar there, that's not too much to ask. And yeah, if you just want to throw them at twenty because you're feeling good, fine, But they're also saying it's not necessary because they are most likely being tipped by the person who hired them for that service. And I will affirm that just as I used to do some versions of catering and bartending at events, and the person who hired us always paid us like an over arching tip that was usually about twenty percent of the rate. Most people were kind in that way. I of course loved it when people threw me a few extra bucks, but I can affirm that the person who hired us gave us an over arching tip.
Yeah.
I would agree for this if it's like a beer and wine event, but if it's a full bar, I'm definitely throwing up five to twenty dollars, depending on how long the event is, just so that I am in the good graces.
Of the bartender. That is my go too.
You know what else is in everyone's good graces?
Ooh? Is it zebill of the week?
That's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week.
Maybe a baby was born and his name is Williams. Maybe you paid off your mortgage.
Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Duck bills, Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week.
Hi, Jenn and Jel. My name is Emily, and my bill of the week is for my personal trainer. I started working with this trainer in September of twenty twenty one, and I absolutely loved it. I was exercising regularly and getting just really strong for the first time in my life. But it was also expensive and so in June of twenty twenty two, I decided to stop working with this trainer so I could prioritize other financial goals. Specifically, I'm trying to save up for a down payment on a house, and then without the trainer, I was not working out nearly as regularly. I'm still working out, just not quite as consistently, and I really missed having her around. And then at the end of twenty twenty two, my company did a major compensation market study and as a result, gave everyone a raise. So in January of this year, I got an eighteen percent raise, and with those funds, I was able to save both for the down payment and also pay the personal trainer, and I hired her back and this week I just paid for my second month working with her. And it's absolutely the best thing I could have done, one hundred percent worth the three hundred and fifteen dollars that I'm spending on it every month.
Love the podcast, Thanks so much, Emma Lee.
Yes, that is values space spending. I love hearing it because I love personal trainers. I feel like they're so undervalued and I'm so glad that you.
Are paying them what they're worth.
Oh, Emily Yes, what a celebratory bill because it was such a journey, and I think that's indicative of where many of us find ourselves. We've got to make different financial decisions at different points in life given the realities. And so you said no to it for a time, but that it only made you realize how much you valued having spent on that thing. Then you got this raise, congratulations, and now able to without guilt pay your personal trainer monthly and still have enough for a down payment on a house, which is just so amazing. And you are more and more zeroing in on the things that matter to you and being able to spend without guilt, which is the goal, and we love it for you, Emilie, if you want to smit your bill of the week because you are getting so close to discovering your values. You're being able to spend on things that super matter to you. Or you just got a raise or a promotion, or none of these things have happened to you and you're still just crushing bills, or your name is Bill and it doesn't even matter if you know anything about personal finance, You're just Bill. Visit Frugal friendspodcast dot com, slash Bill leave us your bill and now it's time for.
Boo boo. All right, and if we haven't already gotten vulnerable in this episode, yes, I like, I feel so shaky now I've bared.
You were looking forward to this episode and now you're like, I don't know if we should put it out.
I know, right, I will, I am. I was excited.
I did because I need this episode, like, I learned a lot, but talking about it was like, oh no, I shouldn't talk about my history with tipping. So best worst tipping story? I guess I will go first because my name is First. I was serving and this was my first serving job. And there are fine dining servers, and then there are casual servers, and then there are bartenders.
I hated serving.
My first serving job was fine dining and I really hated that, and so then I moved to more casual before like, I went to bartending, and that was really where I found my stride because I hate food, like delivery and taking orders and stuff, but I love small talk. I could not make the best cocktail, but I could get my patrons to sit for hours because I like small talk. And uh I so my very first fine dining serving job. I was serving a table and I was I felt like I was doing just fine. And then I went to pick up the check and it was a couple, a man and a woman, and it was a zero dollar tip.
Yeah.
No, And it was the only time I'd ever received a zero dollar tip even I mean it was early on and I didn't I didn't think like I had had some bad experiences, but that one wasn't one of them. But what I like to think is that he tipped me in cash and his girlfriend took the cash and pocketed it. And I have no proof that that's what happened, but it's what I liked to think. It helps me sleep at night. Yeah, so that was my worst tipping story.
Yeah, I'm so sorry I would tip you because you would die.
Thank you.
I was not a great server, ever, so I was totally fine making eighteen percent tips because I knew that's what I was worth.
Did you have a best story?
So when I was bartending, I worked at a hotel, very casual vibes in Orlando, so it was all tourists, so sometimes you didn't know if you were going to get tipped or not. And because there were a lot of Europeans, right, and they don't tip. So I would do this open bar. I worked at the Embassy Suites and they have this happy hour, the open bar happy hour, and so I would do that most Sundays, and I really loved the speed and pace and I would just make that. I would make nothing all day and I would make all of my money in that.
Two hour period.
So I really love to work under pressure. But it was a casual vibe too, so it wasn't like that pressure.
Yeah.
So it's I guess not as in story in particular, but I just look back on that like time in my life and I was like, oh, I loved I loved open bar night at the Embassy Suites.
Oh, the Embassy Suites.
Love that right, the fish tail grill. I think that's what it was called.
Wow. Yeah, right, Well, I don't have too many more silicious stories than what I've already chosen to share. You know, you know about me at the Yolk Frozen Yogurt place, me at the coffee shot, me at the hair salon. I just don't go out anymore. But best for me is when we got tipped. So Eric, when he had an electrical business, I think it is one of those things where it's not expected but it's appreciated, and I I didn't know what I didn't know. And he would have some customers who would tip him at the end of a job, and you know, ten fifteen percent on a few thousand dollars job was pretty significant. Like occasionally he would get a few hundred dollars worth of tip and that was a game changer for us at the time to come home with a few extra hundred dollars in his pockets, usually because we did not bid the jobs correctly, so sometimes we were hardly making any money off of his work. So it was like, oh, wow, he actually like got paid this time. Oh to be young again and bartending when we did the events, it was always so so. I mean, some people would just throw us twenty by for making them a drink, and that was a beautiful thing. We did love those people. I mean, honestly, if you want good service, if you want to be loved and looked on adoringly, throw someone a good tip and you get early right back at you. Yeah, you don't throw.
It at the end.
Throw the twenty on the table before you order it. That's what I do at open bars when I was saying, like, there's an open bar with a full liquor, that's what I do. I'll throw twenty down before I order my first drink. You're taking care of the whole night. Yeah, it's the only way to go.
Because they never know, like, will they give me another twenty? Sometimes they will, sometimes they will, okay, And then my worst really would be beyond the other stories I've told is for me personally not being able to take a tip. There was a time that I was working and I was earning an hourly way at a retirement community, but at a restaurant in the retirement community, and we weren't allowed to take tips from the residents who were coming for dinner. But I remember at Christmas time one year, because you were serving the same residence day in and day out, and so at the end of the year, this one resident wanted to give me like a Christmas bonus, a Christmas tip, And me being as I have a conscience that doesn't allow me to step outside the bounds of the rules laid out before me, She's trying to like that, and I certain rules, certain rules. I'm like, there's cameras around here. I was like, no, I can't take that. She's like no, she's like trying to shove it into my pocket. It was like borderline harassment. And I'm like, a, Gan'm gonna get in drou I'm gonna get fired. I'm gonna lose my job. This tip isn't worth it because they did have a policy or if you wanted to tip the servers, you threw it all into one big bucket and then they were going to divvy that out amongst the servers. And so I said that. I was like, give it to the main thing. She's like, I don't like any of these other people.
I just like you. I want you to take this tip.
She did end up slipping it into my apron. But I went back to my boss, a little fifteen year old me, and I was like, this person insisted on giving this to me, but I understand it needs to go into the bigger pot. Still got fired from that job. But period what oh, they said, I know, Paul, Yeah, we don't have time.
I don't want to know.
Yeah, that's where you lost your conscience.
Thank you for listening.
We know that you have a conscience, and we we like to tread in these spicy conversations, but know that like this is really a tipping is a personal choice and it is situational too. There are some standard minimums that whether you agree with them or not, you should abide by. And if you don't want to, then don't receive the service. I think is the takeaway here, and gift people, be kind, be a blessing. Just surprise and delight people too. So yeah, that's another takeaway is that you don't have to live by the minimum that you can surprise and delight, Surprise and delight. Yeah, so many of you know we have a membership for our listeners who are paying off debt where we do monthly money challenges and offer accountability groups, and we want to congratulate one of our members for a big win. This one comes from Brittany and she says this is part of our when we did our declutter challenge. She says a great part of slowly going through all my belongings, I can remind myself of what I already have and put things in better locations. Example, I've recently been thinking I'm running out of ponytails. Well, decluttering, I found so many ponytails in random places I.
Can relate to that so hard. What a good example, Brittany, congrats.
Yeah, I actually said that this morning that I am running out of ponytails, but because I've overstretched them.
Yeah.
So thanks for listening. If you want to check out our membership where we have all kinds of courses, interviews, challenges and more, head to frugalfriendspodcast dot com slash club to check it out.
See you next time.
Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.
I got fired because they said I was a no call, no show twice. However, I think that they're was some shady business going on and they were trying to undermine me. I think they wanted me gone. Still don't know why because I'm a dime piece. But on one particular time, at least of those two times, they didn't give me the schedule, like I didn't know that I was scheduled for a certain day. I think that they were sabotaging me, So of course I didn't call.
I believe that to.
Call off because I didn't know I was scheduled. So then it was a no call, no show, which gave them grounds to fire me.
Yeah, because even at fifteen years old, they felt threatened by you.
Probably they're like, you know what, She's gonna go on to do bigger and better things like talking into a microphone in her living room. Someday she'll podcast.
One day, her friend will tip eighteen percent on a check, and she will go behind her back and leave more cash to compensate.
I'm so sorry, don't be sorry.
I wish that I remembered. I wish I remembered the story, but honestly, I'm glad I've forgotten