Why you're not broken

Why expressing needs feels impossible

People-pleasing caught in real time

How to have hard conversations

Signs you're people-pleasing, and the cost

Our guest this week is my former therapist, Koorosh Rassekh! We talk about where people-pleasing actually comes from, why it isn't a flaw you need to fix but something that once kept you safe, and the techniques that actually make hard conversations easier.

For most of my life I thought keeping the peace made me a better friend, partner, and person. I'd suppress my needs, avoid the conversations I was dreading, and tell myself I was just being easygoing. But it actually just built quiet resentment and slowly ruined my relationships.

If you say yes when you mean no, or you've been sitting on a conversation for months because you're afraid of how it'll land, this one's for you.

– Kevin

New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy.

And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it’s not. So if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help.

0:00  Intro: people-pleasing and conflict avoidance
6:59  Why you're not broken
9:47  Why expressing needs feels impossible
13:16 People-pleasing caught in real time
24:58 How to have hard conversations
41:08 Signs you're people-pleasing, and the cost

Our guest this week is my former therapist, Koorosh Rassekh! We talk about where people-pleasing actually comes from, why it isn't a flaw you need to fix but something that once kept you safe, and the techniques that actually make hard conversations easier.
For most of my life I thought keeping the peace made me a better friend, partner, and person. I'd suppress my needs, avoid the conversations I was dreading, and tell myself I was just being easygoing. But it actually just built quiet resentment and slowly ruined my relationships.
If you say yes when you mean no, or you've been sitting on a conversation for months because you're afraid of how it'll land, this one's for you.
&ndash; Kevin
New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy.
And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it&rsquo;s not. So if you&rsquo;re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help. 0:00 &nbsp;Intro: people-pleasing and conflict avoidance 6:59 &nbsp;Why you're not broken 9:47 &nbsp;Why expressing needs feels impossible 13:16 People-pleasing caught in real time 24:58 How to have hard conversations 41:08 Signs you're people-pleasing, and the cost

Two best friends sitting down with a different expert therapist every week to unpack the stuff most guys struggle with but don't say out loud. Dating. Relationships. Modern masculinity. Career and purpose. Family. Self-worth. 

We want to uncover what it looks like to be a strong, loving, successful, empathetic, and masculine man today. Because the current playbook is absolute trash (cc: manosphere).

And we're not experts. We're just two very curious, slightly unhinged guys who can label our feelings (most of the time). 

Subscribe and follow along on IG at @freetherapy and TT at @freetherapypod ✌️

Two best friends sitting down with a different expert therapist every week to unpack the stuff most guys struggle with but don't say out loud. Dating. Relationships. Modern masculinity. Career and purpose. Family. Self-worth.&nbsp;
We want to uncover what it looks like to be a strong, loving, successful, empathetic, and masculine man today. Because the current playbook is absolute trash (cc: manosphere).
And we're not experts. We're just two very curious, slightly unhinged guys who can label our feelings (most of the time).&nbsp;
Subscribe and follow along on IG at @freetherapy and TT at @freetherapypod ✌️

Free Therapy with Ben & Kevin

Let’s Stop People-Pleasing and Start Having Hard Conversations #10

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/6889a9e9-55e3-4012-982b-b4820016ee4c/transcript