Why you're not broken

Why expressing needs feels impossible

People-pleasing caught in real time

How to have hard conversations

Signs you're people-pleasing, and the cost

Our guest this week is my former therapist, Koorosh Rassekh! We talk about where people-pleasing actually comes from, why it isn't a flaw you need to fix but something that once kept you safe, and the techniques that actually make hard conversations easier.

For most of my life I thought keeping the peace made me a better friend, partner, and person. I'd suppress my needs, avoid the conversations I was dreading, and tell myself I was just being easygoing. But it actually just built quiet resentment and slowly ruined my relationships.

If you say yes when you mean no, or you've been sitting on a conversation for months because you're afraid of how it'll land, this one's for you.

– Kevin

New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy.

And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it’s not. So if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help.

0:00  Intro: people-pleasing and conflict avoidance
6:59  Why you're not broken
9:47  Why expressing needs feels impossible
13:16 People-pleasing caught in real time
24:58 How to have hard conversations
41:08 Signs you're people-pleasing, and the cost

Our guest this week is my former therapist, Koorosh Rassekh! We talk about where people-pleasing actually comes from, why it isn't a flaw you need to fix but something that once kept you safe, and the techniques that actually make hard conversations easier.
For most of my life I thought keeping the peace made me a better friend, partner, and person. I'd suppress my needs, avoid the conversations I was dreading, and tell myself I was just being easygoing. But it actually just built quiet resentment and slowly ruined my relationships.
If you say yes when you mean no, or you've been sitting on a conversation for months because you're afraid of how it'll land, this one's for you.
&ndash; Kevin
New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy.
And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it&rsquo;s not. So if you&rsquo;re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help. 0:00 &nbsp;Intro: people-pleasing and conflict avoidance 6:59 &nbsp;Why you're not broken 9:47 &nbsp;Why expressing needs feels impossible 13:16 People-pleasing caught in real time 24:58 How to have hard conversations 41:08 Signs you're people-pleasing, and the cost

Two best friends sitting down with different therapists and experts every week to talk through the stuff everyone struggles with but nobody says out loud. Anxiety. Dating. Relationships. Career. Family Dynamics. Grief. The list goes on.

We're not experts. We're just two very curious, slightly unhinged guys who can label our feelings (most of the time). 

Because therapy’s expensive, but thankfully podcasts aren’t ;)

Subscribe and follow along on IG at @freetherapy and TT at @freetherapypod

Two best friends sitting down with different therapists and experts every week to talk through the stuff everyone struggles with but nobody says out loud. Anxiety. Dating. Relationships. Career. Family Dynamics. Grief. The list goes on.
We're not experts. We're just two very curious, slightly unhinged guys who can label our feelings (most of the time).&nbsp;
Because therapy&rsquo;s expensive, but thankfully podcasts aren&rsquo;t ;)
Subscribe and follow along on IG at @freetherapy and TT at @freetherapypod

Free Therapy with Ben & Kevin

How to stop being a people pleaser #10

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/6889a9e9-55e3-4012-982b-b4820016ee4c/transcript